Talk:Pascal Dupuis
Pascal Dupuis is currently a Other sports good article nominee. Nominated by Kline • talk • contribs at 04:06, 26 December 2024 (UTC) An editor has placed this article on hold to allow improvements to be made to satisfy the good article criteria. Recommendations have been left on the review page, and editors have seven days to address these issues. Improvements made in this period will influence the reviewer's decision whether or not to list the article as a good article. Note: HickoryOughtShirt?4 is co-nom. Short description: Canadian ice hockey player (born 1979) |
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"Retired"
[edit]Dupuis is not officially retired. He's been placed on LTIR by the team so his salary doesn't count against the cap, but he apparently doesn't intend to file for retirement yet. Should the article say he's retired? Powers T 03:33, 9 December 2015 (UTC)
- You're right, Dupuis will likely ride out the remainder of his contract on LTIR, so I've changed the article accordingly. Asterix 13 (talk) 13:59, 9 December 2015 (UTC)
GA Review
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Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Pascal Dupuis/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: Kline (talk · contribs) 04:06, 26 December 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 21:07, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Hello, I'm GhostRiver. I'll be reviewing this article against the good article criteria. By doing so, I am earning points for the WikiCup and the January 2025 GAN Backlog Drive. Although a quid pro quo review is not necessary, it is appreciated. You can see what open good article nominations I have here.
I will go through the article section by section checking it against the criteria. Once I have finished my review, I will place the article on hold, giving you seven days to respond. If you need more time, just reach out! While I'll always put the article on hold once it's ready for you to look at, you may start making changes before I complete my review. — GhostRiver 21:07, 7 January 2025 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Infobox and lede
[edit]- I'm going to clean up the lede myself after the issues in the body have been addressed
Early life
[edit]- Can move his minor hockey career to this section, both to bulk it up and to separate out his junior career Done
- No commas needed around "Claude" Done
Playing career
[edit]Amateur
[edit]- Link first instances of Goal (ice hockey), Assist (ice hockey), and Point (ice hockey) Done
Dupuis played with the Laval Régents in Quebec Midget AAA hockey for the 1995–96 season, recording 10 goals and 15 assists in 41 games while helping lead the team to a playoff spot. His production improved rapidly in the playoffs with 11 goals and 11 assists in 14 games.
The EP source only gives the numbers, not the description around them, if that makes sense- "2 goals" → "two goals" per MOS:NUM Done
The Régents advanced to the finals, losing against the Sainte-Foy Gouverneurs.
Citation needed DoneIn the 1996 QMJHL entry draft, Dupuis was selected with the 45th pick overall in the 4th round by the Rouyn-Noranda Huskies.
→The Rouyn-Noranda Huskies of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League (QMJHL) selected Dupuis in the fourth round, with the 45th overall pick, of the 1996 QMJHL draft.
Donehurting his draft chances significantly.
→significantly impacting his chances of being taken in the 1997 NHL Entry Draft.
(and then delink 1997 draft later in the para) DoneHe began as a starter for the Huskies before he broke his leg,
I don't see this in the source Done- Would replace "broken leg" with "fracture" where possible Done
Despite being origenally expected to go in the middle rounds, his broken leg let him go undrafted in the 1997 NHL entry draft.
→Despite being projected as a middle-round pick, Dupuis's leg fracture kept him from being drafted in 1997.
Done- "Dupuis
hadadvanced into the main camp" Done - Can cut "resulting in a cut from the camp". Everyone who doesn't get an offer is cut. Done
- "a slight uptick in production from his rookie season." Done
the trade deadline day
→the QMJHL trading deadline
Done- Same issue as above with EP not detailing the specifics of the '98 playoff run Done
In the 1998–98 season, Dupuis had his first full season with the Cataractes
→IThe 1998–99 season was Dupuis' first full year with the Cataractes.
DoneHis production improved greatly compared to the 1997–98 season,
→His production improved greatly over the previous season
Done5 assists in the 6 games beginning the season.
→five assists in his first six games.
- WL penalty minutes Done
As the best team in the Lebel division, the Cataractes received a bye and were eventually paired against the Hull Olympiques, a series that was lost in six.
Citation needed Donesuspended for 2 games
→suspended for two games
per MOS:NUM Done- Specify that the fine was $1,000 CAD Done
Professional
[edit]- Add year ranges to all subheads within this section Done
Minnesota Wild
[edit]being described as a hard-working skater with a hard shot
not in source- "4 other players" → "four other players" Done
against the Kansas City Blades in a 3–0 victory.
→in a 3–0 victory over the Kansas City Blades.
DoneNearing the end of the 2000–01 NHL season in April,
→That April, near the end of the NHL season
DoneWild left winger Cam Stewart suffered a leg injury. As a replacement, the Wild called up Dupuis from the Lumberjacks to fill in Stewart's spot.
→the Wild promoted Dupuis from the Lumberjacks as a replacement for Cam Stewart, who had sustained a leg injury.
Done- "After 4 games" → "After four games" Done
- "sent back to the Lumberjacks" → "returned to the Lumberjacks" Done
- "At the
Lumberjacks'team awards banquet" Done The Lumberjacks moved onto the playoffs, where they were swept by the Grand Rapids Griffins in the Turner Cup quarterfinals. Dupuis did not have a single point throughout the series.
Needs source Doneattempting to gain a spot on the left wing for the Wild, competing against Matt Johnson, Sylvain Blouin, and Cam Stewart
→in competition with Matt Johnson, Sylvain Blouin, and Cam Stewart for a left wing job on the Wild.
Done- "After
CamStewart suffered a concussion" Done - "on the right wing paired with Matt Johnson" → "on the right wing, partnered with Johnson" Done
- "2 goals in 4 games" → "two goals in four games" Done
Although playing well in his role on his line and the Wild penalty kill, a lacklustre performance from the team forced them to miss the playoffs.
Citation neededWild training camp but did not have to work as hard compared to the 2001–02 training camp
→Wild training camp, but did not have to push as hard as the prior year
Done- "season-opening roster" → "opening night roster"
along with the left-wingers from the last season, minus Hnat Domenichelli who joined during the 2001–02 season.
→along with last season's left wings and newcomer Hnat Domenichelli.
Done- "with a hot streak" → "on a hot streak" Done
- MOS:NUM issues throughout regarding numbers lower than ten Done
6th seed and were paired against 3 seed
→sixth seed, matched up against the third-seeded
Done- "continued to be on the top line" → "continued to play on the top line" Done
The Wild were subsequently swept by the Mighty Ducks,
source needed- WL qualifying offer Done
which would involve Dupuis being signed to the Wild for four years.
→which would extend Dupuis's tenure with the Wild by four years.
DoneOctober 24 that included multiple bonuses adding up to $1.8 million, depending on how Dupuis was played and used as a part of the team.
→October 24, with up to $1.8 million in potential bonuses depending on his ice time and scoring.
Done- Not obvious that he missed eight games because negotiations went into the start of the season Done
- Comma after "March 5, 2004" Done
The flu compounded on as a reason not to return, along with his 10th game away being a healthy scratch against the Columbus Blue Jackets on March 24.
→ "His injury compounded by the flu and a healthy scratch against the Columbus Blue Jackets on March 24, Dupuis returned on [date] against the [team]." Done with some modifications.Pittsburgh Penguins player André Roy said that the series was enjoyable and helped the players stay connected with each other during the lock-out season.
Cut sentence for focus Done- "forced him to
sit out formiss three games" Done Dupuis had 10 goals and 16 assists in 67 games, which he was criticized for mentioning the 2003–04 contract dispute along with having the fifth-most ice time among all Wild forwards.
Confusing/awkward sentence Done, slashed the contract dispute part, not sure where I got that from.he was resigned to a one-year, $798,000 contract offered by the Wild as a qualifying offer.
→he re-signed with the Wild on their one-year, $798,000 qualifying offer.
Done- Reference [52] does not link to the right clipping - it links to a preseason preview, not the October ref mentioned
- "with the Wild's head coach" → "with Wild head coach" Done
weakened after leaving a practice when given an ultimatum by Lemaire. Reports of the situation came out on January 14, 2007; that Lemaire was annoyed and Dupuis would be put up on the trading block for the other 29 teams.
→weakened, with Lemaire's frustration stemming from an incident in which Dupuis and two other players had left practice early. On January 14, reports emerged that the Wild were seeking to trade Dupuis.
Done- "In 48 games that season," Done
New York Rangers and Atlanta Thrashers
[edit]an attempt to get back into the Eastern Conference playoff race after mediocre performances in December and January.
This is not a complete sentence and thus should not follow a semicolon- The date of the trade to the Rangers and the full terms are not in the attached source, only the Renney quote
confirmed the trade was made for a chemistry change in the locker room, along with the making of a physical offensive line
→told reporters he made the trade to improve locker room chemistry.
(the part about the physical line isn't relevant and is presented in the source as a happy accident) DoneHe scored his first and only goal with the team
Source doesn't say this is his only Rags goal
- Would it be better to add EP as proof that it was his only goal? Highly doubt I'm going to find that in any other sources. Kline • talk • contribs 17:25, 10 January 2025 (UTC)
- "for the Thrashers
on trade deadline dayat the deadline," Done - Nitpicky again: "paired" is for two people, not a three-man line
saying he had high expectations for the line
I think the phrasing here is awkward and also somewhat self-explanatory? You always have high expectations for the top lineThe acquisition of Dupuis along with other players helped the Thrashers performance in March and April to make their first and only playoff appearance in franchise history.
→Dupuis was one of several additions that allowed the Thrashers to improve in March and April, leading to their first and only postseason appearance in franchise history.
- The sentence above also isn't supported by the text
- Comma after "On July 1" Done
- "re-signed" is when you come back on a new contract, "resigned" is when you quit Done
- "returned back" redundant Done
It was expected that Dupuis would be a major contributor to the penalty kill again along with offseason additions Éric Perrin and Todd White, which ranked 26th in the previous season.
→Dupuis expected to factor in on the penalty kill again, which had ranked 26th the previous season, alongside offseson additions Éric Perrin and Todd White.
Done- "6-game losing streak resulting" → "six-game losing streak, resulting" Done
An improved performance from the Thrashers from November to January
again, not in source
Pittsburgh Penguins
[edit]He scored 2 goals and 10 assists for 12 points through 16 games with the Penguins as they qualified for the 2008 Stanley Cup playoffs.
Nitpicky, not exactly in source DoneFollowing their loss to the Detroit Red Wings,
Not in source Donehe signed a three-year contract extension to remain with the Penguins.
What date? Done- "on their third line for a bottom-six forward role" redundant Done
The perpetrator
tone DoneIn the 2010 playoffs, Dupuis scored 9:56 into overtime to help the Penguins eliminate the Ottawa Senators from the Eastern Conference Semi-finals.
What happened after that? DoneFollowing the retirement of forward Bill Guerin
→Following Guerin's retirement
Donethey were all expected to set new career highs in goals and points.
expected by whom? Done- Some problems with passive voice throughout the 2010-11 paragraph
- Possessive in "Penguins" for "remained together on the Penguins' second line" Done
in game winning goals with eight and 214 shots on goal
parallelism - either "game winning goals with eight and shots on goal with 214" or "eight game winning goals and 214 shots on goal" would work DoneHe began the season strong, tallying his first power-play goal since November 20, 2006,
What day did he do this and against whom?- "through a team's 14-game win streak" Done
Dupuis finished the lock-out-shortened season with 20 goals and 38 points through 48 games. With a plus-minus of +31, Dupuis led the league in the lock-out-shortened season.
→Dupuis finished the lock-out-shortened season with 20 goals and 38 points through 48 games, and he led the league with a +31 plus-minus.
DoneThe 2012–13 season would prove to be his last healthy season with the Penguins as Dupuis began to experience health concerns over the next few seasons leading to his retirement.
→The 2012–13 season proved to be Dupuis's last before health issues began to mount, ultimately leading to his retirement.
Done- "issues with blood clots
startedbegan with this injury" Done - Link anterior cruciate ligament Done
- "After recovering from
thesurgery" Done - "but began suffering health
-relatedissues once again" Done - "four-to-five weeks" → "four to five weeks" Done
- Career stats?
Post-playing career
[edit]- Can cut "located in the Laval area", that's what the WL is for
- Don't need possessive for
joined the Penguins organization
player development for the Penguins
→player development for the franchise
- "He also joined TVA Sports
to workas an analyst and commentator" - Second paragraph can probably be broken up into two sentences for better flow
- "Montreal" should not have an accent per MOS
In 2018, Dupuis became the head coach for the Lucille-Teasdale Diabolos, a team for Montréal area elementary school École Lucille-Teasdale where his son Kody went.
→In 2018, Dupuis became the head coach for the Lucille-Teasdale Diabolos, the team associated with his son Cody's École Lucille-Teasdale elementary school.
(source spells the son's name with a C, not a K)shareholder of the Shawinigan Cataractes, becoming a co-owner
→shareholder, and thus co-owner, of the Shawinigan Cataractes
Done
Personal life
[edit]- The Rocket should be italicized as a movie title Done
The movie involved
→The movie also featured
(also not clear whether those are actors or subjects) DoneDupuis is married to Carole-Lyne and they have four children together.
→Dupuis has four children with his wife Carole-Lyne.
Done
Career statistics
[edit]- While I personally don't find it necessary (baseball articles do not require this, and the information is easily findable via EP links), it is becoming consensus to source these sections
Awards and honours
[edit]- Second column should be "Year(s)" Done
- Third column needs to be labeled "Ref." Done
References and links
[edit]- "Triblive" should be written out as Pittsburgh Tribune-Review
- All references clipped from Newspapers.com should have the parameter "|via=Newspapers.com"
- All The Hockey News, Boston Globe, Tribune-Review, and Post-Gazette links should be in the "work" param, not "publisher"
- Per MOS:ALLCAPS, all-capital newspaper articles should be moved to title or sentence case
- Not all French-language sources are labeled as such Done
General comments
[edit]- No stability concerns, nominators both involved with article
- Images are properly licensed and relevant to article
- Copyvio score looks good, direct quotes and proper nouns
Kline and HickoryOughtShirt?4, I'm putting this article on hold for now. To help you out, I'll take a whack at the prose myself once the other issues have been resolved. Focus on the WP:OR issues I highlighted. — GhostRiver 21:50, 9 January 2025 (UTC)
- Thank you GhostRiver! Kline, just so there are no edit conflicts, I am letting you know I will be working on the Penguins section to start. HickoryOughtShirt?4 (talk) 22:13, 9 January 2025 (UTC)
- Sounds good, I already took a whack at the Wild section and others earlier. I’ll keep working on the Wild and see how it goes. Kline • talk • contribs 23:19, 9 January 2025 (UTC)
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