Meg-John Barker
Meg-John Barker is the author of a number of popular books on sex, gender, and relationships, including graphic guides to Queer, Gender, and Sexuality (with Jules Scheele), How To Understand Your Gender and Sexuality, Hell Yeah Self Care, and Life Isn’t Binary (with Alex Iantaffi), Enjoy Sex (How, When, and IF You Want To) (with Justin Hancock), Rewriting the Rules and The Psychology of Sex. They blog and publish zines, comics and podcasts via rewriting-the-rules.com, and support other creatives around queer and therapeutic writing.
Meg-John was an academic psychologist and UKCP accredited therapist for many years before focusing on writing full time. They are an internationally recognised expert on gender, sexual, and relationship diversity (GSRD) and therapy, with numerous academic books and papers on the topics of bisexuality, open non-monogamy, sadomasochism, non-binary gender, and Buddhist mindfulness. They co-founded the journal Psychology & Sexuality and the activist-research organisation BiUK, through which they published The Bisexuality Report. They have advised many organisations, therapeutic bodies, and governmental departments on matters relating to gender, sexual, and relationship diversity (GSRD) including writing the BACP document on the topic. They’ve co-organised many public events on sex and relationships, including Sense about Sex and Critical Sexology and co-presented the Meg-John & Justin podcast with Justin Hancock. Website: rewriting-the-rules.com. Twitter: @megjohnbarker. YouTube: MegJohnBarkerPsych
Meg-John was an academic psychologist and UKCP accredited therapist for many years before focusing on writing full time. They are an internationally recognised expert on gender, sexual, and relationship diversity (GSRD) and therapy, with numerous academic books and papers on the topics of bisexuality, open non-monogamy, sadomasochism, non-binary gender, and Buddhist mindfulness. They co-founded the journal Psychology & Sexuality and the activist-research organisation BiUK, through which they published The Bisexuality Report. They have advised many organisations, therapeutic bodies, and governmental departments on matters relating to gender, sexual, and relationship diversity (GSRD) including writing the BACP document on the topic. They’ve co-organised many public events on sex and relationships, including Sense about Sex and Critical Sexology and co-presented the Meg-John & Justin podcast with Justin Hancock. Website: rewriting-the-rules.com. Twitter: @megjohnbarker. YouTube: MegJohnBarkerPsych
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Following this, we cover the content and process of therapy and counselling with non-binary people in more depth, highlighting the importance of not assuming any link between a client’s non-binary gender and their presenting issues. However we argue that it still behoves the practitioner to have enough understanding of non-binary gender to address, and engage with, non-binary clients in an appropriate, welcoming, and supportive, supportive manner which does not pathologise their gender. We explore common issues which non-binary people bring to therapy which are related to their gender, and how practitioners might work with such issues, while being mindful of the diversity of non-binary people and experiences. We draw out key ethical and practical issues when working with non-binary clients as a binary - or non-binary - practitioner, for example in relation to therapist self-disclosure, client monitoring and assessment, and the use of client name and pronouns in session. Alternatives to conventional therapy such as community support, self-care, and engagement with online resources, are also mentioned.
We conclude the chapter with a bullet point summary of best practice when working with non-binary clients.
We’ve included the experiences of bisexual men, women and non-binary people throughout the chapter, including our own experiences. Some of the people we include identify as trans, some as cisgender, and some question this distinction as well, due to having a trans history but no longer regarding themselves as trans, for example, or feeling ‘cis-ish’, due to having some degree of fluidity or experimentation when it comes to gender.
We were keen particularly to include plenty of non-binary bisexual experience because there are existing collections on the experiences of bi men and bi women, but none that we’re aware of on non-binary or genderqueer bis. This is an important absence to address because recent statistics suggest that around 1% of the general population identifies as something other than male or female, and that this rises to 5% among young LGBTQIA+ people and 25% among trans people, and around a third of people in general experience themselves as the ‘other’ gender, both genders, and/or neither gender.
Participants' knowledge of FGM improved significantly following the workshop. Post-workshop, more participants were able to identify the year FGM was made illegal (X2 (5, N = 97) = 32.36, p < .001), the classification of FGM (X2 (6, N = 97) = 29.10, p < .001) and UK prevalence data (X2 (6, N = 97) = 29.10, p < .001). Participants also identified significantly more practising communities (t = 4.6, p < 0.001) and illegal cutting procedures (t = 2.9, p = 0.004). Regarding shifts in attitude following the intervention, the participants expressed greater disagreement with circumcision on consenting adult males (U = 806.5, p = 0.046 (one-tailed), r = 0.18). This suggests that a 90-minute interactive group workshop could be highly acceptable to recipients and enhance knowledge about FGM.
The place of interpersonal relationship difficulties in therapeutic practice.
Understandings from across the psychological therapies which can be helpful when working pluralistically with clients’ interpersonal relationships.
How collaborative therapeutic relationships can be built with both individuals and dyads who are experiencing relationship difficulties.
Working with life goals and therapy goals around interpersonal relationships in pluralistic counselling.
Methods from across the psychological therapies which can be helpful when working pluralistically with both individuals and dyads in this area.
In order to explore the potential of such a dialogue we devote the first half of this chapter to examining how prevailing norms of sex and sexuality position many of us as mentally disordered or dysfunctional, and could therefore be said to actively disorder or disable people in a manner akin to the way in which certain material features and social norms disable certain bodies and sensory and cognitive experiences. We consider how features of the shift from medical to social models of disability can be applied in this area, to the benefit of those who are struggling with sexual distress and in ways which enhance understandings of sex and sexuality more widely. By ‘sexual distress’ we mean mental distress which occurs specifically around sex, for example feeling anxious about sexual situations or ashamed of sexual desires.
Following this, in the second half of the chapter, we examine the ways in which medicalised understandings of both sex and disability constrain and restrict the sexual experience and expression of disabled people. We draw out the potential benefits of applying social models of disability to this area, building particularly on recent intersectional work to enable a fuller understanding of the ways in which sexuality, disability, and other aspects of identity and experience combine.
In the concluding section of the chapter we weave these strands together to suggest how social, critical and intersectional understandings of sexuality and disability could inform thinking and practice around both these areas.
What the document left out was conversion therapy as it applies to gender and sexual diversity (GSD) identities and practices beyond gay identities and same sex attractions. For example, in relation to transgender, some therapists still deem it acceptable to try to eliminate behaviour in children that doesn’t conform to cultural gender norms or private ‘cross-dressing’ practices by husbands in a heterosexual marriage. In the case of bisexuality, some still encourage clients to ‘pick’ homosexuality or heterosexuality, rather than respecting the person holding a bisexual identity.
This chapter covers both the process of searching for relevant literature and the process of writing the literature review chapter, or introduction. It should be read in conjunction with the previous two chapters because the process of literature review runs parallel with the choice of research question, and obviously skills in reading and understanding research are necessary for conducting and writing up a literature review.
Following this, we cover the content and process of therapy and counselling with non-binary people in more depth, highlighting the importance of not assuming any link between a client’s non-binary gender and their presenting issues. However we argue that it still behoves the practitioner to have enough understanding of non-binary gender to address, and engage with, non-binary clients in an appropriate, welcoming, and supportive, supportive manner which does not pathologise their gender. We explore common issues which non-binary people bring to therapy which are related to their gender, and how practitioners might work with such issues, while being mindful of the diversity of non-binary people and experiences. We draw out key ethical and practical issues when working with non-binary clients as a binary - or non-binary - practitioner, for example in relation to therapist self-disclosure, client monitoring and assessment, and the use of client name and pronouns in session. Alternatives to conventional therapy such as community support, self-care, and engagement with online resources, are also mentioned.
We conclude the chapter with a bullet point summary of best practice when working with non-binary clients.
We’ve included the experiences of bisexual men, women and non-binary people throughout the chapter, including our own experiences. Some of the people we include identify as trans, some as cisgender, and some question this distinction as well, due to having a trans history but no longer regarding themselves as trans, for example, or feeling ‘cis-ish’, due to having some degree of fluidity or experimentation when it comes to gender.
We were keen particularly to include plenty of non-binary bisexual experience because there are existing collections on the experiences of bi men and bi women, but none that we’re aware of on non-binary or genderqueer bis. This is an important absence to address because recent statistics suggest that around 1% of the general population identifies as something other than male or female, and that this rises to 5% among young LGBTQIA+ people and 25% among trans people, and around a third of people in general experience themselves as the ‘other’ gender, both genders, and/or neither gender.
Participants' knowledge of FGM improved significantly following the workshop. Post-workshop, more participants were able to identify the year FGM was made illegal (X2 (5, N = 97) = 32.36, p < .001), the classification of FGM (X2 (6, N = 97) = 29.10, p < .001) and UK prevalence data (X2 (6, N = 97) = 29.10, p < .001). Participants also identified significantly more practising communities (t = 4.6, p < 0.001) and illegal cutting procedures (t = 2.9, p = 0.004). Regarding shifts in attitude following the intervention, the participants expressed greater disagreement with circumcision on consenting adult males (U = 806.5, p = 0.046 (one-tailed), r = 0.18). This suggests that a 90-minute interactive group workshop could be highly acceptable to recipients and enhance knowledge about FGM.
The place of interpersonal relationship difficulties in therapeutic practice.
Understandings from across the psychological therapies which can be helpful when working pluralistically with clients’ interpersonal relationships.
How collaborative therapeutic relationships can be built with both individuals and dyads who are experiencing relationship difficulties.
Working with life goals and therapy goals around interpersonal relationships in pluralistic counselling.
Methods from across the psychological therapies which can be helpful when working pluralistically with both individuals and dyads in this area.
In order to explore the potential of such a dialogue we devote the first half of this chapter to examining how prevailing norms of sex and sexuality position many of us as mentally disordered or dysfunctional, and could therefore be said to actively disorder or disable people in a manner akin to the way in which certain material features and social norms disable certain bodies and sensory and cognitive experiences. We consider how features of the shift from medical to social models of disability can be applied in this area, to the benefit of those who are struggling with sexual distress and in ways which enhance understandings of sex and sexuality more widely. By ‘sexual distress’ we mean mental distress which occurs specifically around sex, for example feeling anxious about sexual situations or ashamed of sexual desires.
Following this, in the second half of the chapter, we examine the ways in which medicalised understandings of both sex and disability constrain and restrict the sexual experience and expression of disabled people. We draw out the potential benefits of applying social models of disability to this area, building particularly on recent intersectional work to enable a fuller understanding of the ways in which sexuality, disability, and other aspects of identity and experience combine.
In the concluding section of the chapter we weave these strands together to suggest how social, critical and intersectional understandings of sexuality and disability could inform thinking and practice around both these areas.
What the document left out was conversion therapy as it applies to gender and sexual diversity (GSD) identities and practices beyond gay identities and same sex attractions. For example, in relation to transgender, some therapists still deem it acceptable to try to eliminate behaviour in children that doesn’t conform to cultural gender norms or private ‘cross-dressing’ practices by husbands in a heterosexual marriage. In the case of bisexuality, some still encourage clients to ‘pick’ homosexuality or heterosexuality, rather than respecting the person holding a bisexual identity.
This chapter covers both the process of searching for relevant literature and the process of writing the literature review chapter, or introduction. It should be read in conjunction with the previous two chapters because the process of literature review runs parallel with the choice of research question, and obviously skills in reading and understanding research are necessary for conducting and writing up a literature review.
Rewriting the Rules: An Anti Self-Help Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - advice that's given about sex and gender, monogamy and conflict, break-up and commitment. It asks questions about the rules of love, such as which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own? And what about the times when the rules we love by seem to make things worse, rather than better?
This new edition, updated throughout, considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways - for example in monogamish and polyamorous relationships, different ways of understanding sex and gender, and new ideas for managing commitment and break-up where economics, communities, or child-care make complete separation impossible. This book considers how the rules are being ‘rewritten’ in various ways, giving you the power to find an approach that best fits your situation.
How do different bodies and brains respond sexually?
How can we prevent people being stigmatised for their sexuality?
The Psychology of Sex takes you on a tour through the different ways that psychologists have created and sustained certain understandings of sex and sexuality. Bearing in mind the subjective nature of sex, the book explores cultural concerns around sexualisation, pornography, and sex addiction, as well as drawing on research from sexual communities and the applied area of sex therapy.
When so much of our relationship to sex happens in the mind, The Psychology of Sex shows us how important it is to understand where our ideas about sex come from.
The book reveals the intimate operation of power in mediated advice, how words and images, stories and sound can work to shore up social injustice. It critically engages with the ideas of choice and responsibility in sex self-help, arguing that these can obscure and/or justify oppression, even if they're sometimes experienced as empowering and/or pleasurable.
This bold and incisive book provides a radical challenge to the assumptions underlying the sex advice industry, and presents a critical, collaborative and consensual vision for sex advice of the future.
The first section provides an overview of historical, legal and academic aspects of this phenomenon. The second section explores how psychotherapeutic, psychological and psychiatric theory and practice are adapting to a non-binary model of gender, and the third section considers the body related aspects, from endocrinology to surgery.
This work will appeal to a wide readership, from practitioners working with non-binary individuals - including psychologists, surgeons, social workers, nurses, psychiatrists, endocrinologists, psychotherapists and counselors, lawyers, and healthcare workers - to researchers interested in the study of gender identities, to students and gender activists.
Part 1 explores the predominant tensions between forensic and therapeutic agendas;
Part 2 considers how criminal and ‘insane’ identities and careers may be considered gendered, classed, culturally, and age-dependent experiences, and be related to power and oppression;
Part 3 examines issues around sex and sexuality in forensic and therapeutic settings;
Part 4 introduces a range of therapeutic approaches for working with offenders and victims of crime;
Part 5 covers forensic and therapeutic practices, including programs for the prevention of both mental health issues and offending.
Edited by an expert team from the Open University and written by a broad range of contributors, this book draws on a wealth of experience in this popular subject area. It will be a key text for students of forensic psychology, counseling and psychotherapy, and for health and social care professionals working in therapeutic and forensic settings.
Enjoy Sex is a truly practical, friendly guide through the confusing, and sometimes alarming, world of sex and sexuality. Its radical approach puts your experience at the heart of the book, and invites you to explore what might be enjoyable to you.
With the authors’ engaging and thoughtful style, the book challenges the messages we receive about ‘normal’ sex, looks at how to understand and care for yourself, delves into ideas of pleasure for different bodies, ages and tastes, explores relationships, and tackles the tricky topics of communication and consent.
So, throw out the rule book and learn to listen to your own desires. This may just be the most helpful book about sex ever.
From identity politics and gender roles to privilege and exclusion, Queer explores how we came to view sex, gender and sexuality in the ways that we do; how these ideas get tangled up with our culture and our understanding of biology, psychology and sexology; and how these views have been disputed and challenged.
Along the way we look at key landmarks which shift our perspective of what’s ‘normal’ – Alfred Kinsey’s view of sexuality as a spectrum, Judith Butler’s view of gendered behaviour as a performance, the play Wicked, or moments in Casino Royale when we’re invited to view James Bond with the kind of desiring gaze usually directed at female bodies in mainstream media.
Presented in a brilliantly engaging and witty style, this is a unique portrait of the universe of queer thinking.
One of the key messages from the research is that different things work for different people, and at different times in the relationship. For this reason the book focuses on the differnt practices that we might bring into our own relationships, helping us to recognise the small things which we may be already doing but which ordinarily go by unnoticed, and offering a helping hand to find out what works best for us.
Read more at https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/1109805/the-secrets-of-enduring-love/#SITgpkRMuuTWfzA9.99
This book aims to address this by bringing together many of the key practitioners and researchers who are working in this area. The book presents a range of perspectives on what mindful theory and practice has to offer to our understandings of, and work with, sex and relationships.
-Explanations of various forms of sexuality, gender and relationship structures
-Common concerns relating to specific groups
-Key practises relating to specific groups
-The treatment of specific groups in contemporary Western society
-Details of some rules and ideals that are commonly found within specific groups
-Suggestions for professional practice with these groups
Ideal for all members of the multidisciplinary team, this accessible book is relevant to practitioners across theoretical backgrounds. Whether you are a trainee or qualified psychotherapist, counsellor, nurse, medic, psychiatrist, social worker or applied psychologist, this is a vital text for your professional practice.
Mindfulness is increasingly recognised as an effective therapeutic treatment with positive research outcomes evaluating its success. Meg Barker responds to our growing consciousness of mindfulness approaches, considering how its principles can inform everyday therapeutic work.
The book:
- covers ways in which mindfulness approaches complement each therapeutic approach, as well as any potential conflicts and tensions that might arise
- spells out how a mindfulness approach would understand - and work with - common presenting issues, including depression, anxiety and addiction
- brings together work on mindfulness from across psychotherapy, science, and philosophy
- suggests possible future directions in mindfulness, particularly those which emphasise the social component of suffering.
This engaging and accessible book will appeal to all counselling and psychotherapy students, as well as any therapist looking to complement their own approach with mindfulness theory and practice.
Rewriting the Rules is a friendly guide through the complicated - and often contradictory - rules of love: the advice that is given about attraction and sex, monogamy and conflict, gender and commitment. It asks questions such as: which to choose from all the rules on offer? Do we stick to the old rules we learnt growing up, or do we try something new and risk being out on our own?
This book considers how the rules are being 'rewritten' in various ways, for example the 'new monogamy', alternative commitment ceremonies, different ways of understanding gender, and new ideas for managing conflict and break-up where economics and child-care make complete separation a problem. In this way Rewriting the Rules gives the power to the reader to find the approach which fits their situation.
• Section 1 introduces counselling and psychotherapy and the history of these professions, considering how current understandings of 'mental health problems' have been influenced by psychiatric diagnosis, biomedical approaches and psychoanalysis.
• Section 2 covers four key therapeutic approaches – humanistic, existential, cognitive–behavioural and mindfulness – exploring how they work with problems relating to fear and sadness.
• Section 3 focuses on therapeutic perspectives that specifically address problems in a wider context, such as relationships, families, cultural groups and society.
• Section 4 considers practice and research issues in counselling and psychotherapy, including the different contexts and settings in which these take place, the therapeutic relationship, and outcome and process research.
This accessible and stimulating text uses innovative activities and case illustrations to demonstrate how people experience common problems, and how counsellors and psychotherapists work with these.