The Balding Mustache

At least he will always be able to count on his thick mustache.

A Special Note To My Readers

Now that the paganish hootenanny of Halloween is finished, I can see now that the loss of Joseph maybe permanent, and not some cruel prank he has pulled upon his employer. Joseph has run off before, but has often returned after a few nights, reeking of sugar cane liquor and sporting an infant beard. I truly miss the burly simpleton and will hold out hope for his return.

But my work must go on, and I have obligations to you, my faithful readers. Many of you have posited questions in the comments that I have yet to respond to. I plan to spend the weekend grieving Joseph and creating a series of posts to the main page to answer the most pertinent. All of your comments are a wonderful comfort to me during this time, even those from benighted souls who wail out against the mustache and advocate its destruction. This is America after all, and you are as free as anyone to express opinions that are wrongheaded, ignorant, and public evidence of ill-breeding.

Please use the comments of this post to ask any burning mustache queries you haven't yet put in comment posts past.

A Triple Threat

A deft combination of bushiness, overhand twist, and full mouth coverage of The Neitzsche.

The Untwisted Facespanner

Sprinting past all lesser competition, this gentleman has mated the length of the facespanner with the density of the Nietzsche and the shaggy glory of the mustache as it must have appeared when still growing the wild. An amazing accomplishment and one of the more perfect mustaches I have ever run across.

Untwisted and Free

Troubled Businessman On Top, Bushy Peace Officer Up Front

The Tucked Tie Mustache

The Neglected

Given the careful attention paid to the part and swoop of the hair it makes it likely that the bushy neglect of the mustache is purposeful. Some mustaches long to run free, and some men are brave enough to let them.