Advice you need to hear

“Fear and ignorance go hand in hand. As a young woman I didn’t really know how queer sex might unfold and a consequence of this was that I was really scared of doing it… I wish that I could flit back in time and whisper encouragement in my ear. I’d tell myself that I don’t have to compare myself to what I think other people are doing, that I will definitely be wrong and that it’s fine to find my own way. I’d reassure myself that what other people think about what I do is irrelevant as long as the sex is consensual. I’d cup my hand to my ear and say: ‘If they’re fucking you, they are not appalled that you are fat.’ I’d slip a note into