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Puns Quotes
Quotes tagged as "puns"
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“You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.”
― You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker
― You Might As Well Live: The Life and Times of Dorothy Parker
“Yeah 'ear 'ear," said George, with half a glance at Fred, the corner of whose mouth twitched.”
― Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
― Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
“I'll take Shadowhunter, then. Because from what I've experienced of vampires, you mostly suck. No pun intended.”
― City of Lost Souls
― City of Lost Souls
“This did not seem to reassure Nico.
“I don’t like being in the dark,” he muttered.
An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood what he meant.”
― The Hidden Oracle
“I don’t like being in the dark,” he muttered.
An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood what he meant.”
― The Hidden Oracle
“The day I can't pull something useful out of my ass is the day I quit sticking things up my ass.”
―
―
“It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.”
― The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.”
― The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
“I believe in reincarnation,” [Bjorn] said.
I KNOW.
“I tried to live a good life. Does that help?”
THAT’S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU’LL BE BJORN AGAIN.”
― Men at Arms
I KNOW.
“I tried to live a good life. Does that help?”
THAT’S NOT UP TO ME. Death coughed. OF COURSE... SINCE YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION... YOU’LL BE BJORN AGAIN.”
― Men at Arms
“...All the shops have been smashed open. There was a whole bunch of people across the street helping themselves to musical instruments, can you believe that?"
"Yeah," said Rincewind. "...Luters, I expect.”
― The Light Fantastic
"Yeah," said Rincewind. "...Luters, I expect.”
― The Light Fantastic
“Let us cry for the spilt milk, by all means, if by doing so we learn how to avoid spilling any more. Let us cry for the spilt milk, and remember how, and where, and why, we spilt it. Much wisdom is learnt through tears, but none by forgetting our lessons.”
― The Squatter and the Don
― The Squatter and the Don
“But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.”
― Night Watch
― Night Watch
“Wit and puns aren't just decor in the mind; they're essential signs that the mind knows it's on, recognizes its own software, can spot the bugs in its own program.”
―
―
“I don't mind if smiles come at my expense, I'm a small price to pay.”
― Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
― Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close
“And he won her freedom by playing beautiful music,' Roland added. 'I think he played a lute. Or maybe it was a lyre.'
'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.”
― Wintersmith
'Ach, weel, that'll suit us fine,' said Daft Wullie. 'We're experts at lootin' an' then lyin' aboot it.”
― Wintersmith
“Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.”
― Hogfather
― Hogfather
“He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.”
― Night Watch
― Night Watch
“They talk about human rights until the rights include things they personally do not like as alternatives. There needs to be Frank discussions. And Shirley can join too because the pun works. The ideas of human beings of all demeanor and venues are at stake here.”
― Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
― Religion: The Ultimate STD: Living a Spiritual Life without Dogmatics or Cultural Destruction
“Cucumbers are technically a fruit and in the same family as pumpkins, melons and squash, so it may benefit those markets, although, to be honest, giant melons don't strike me as potentially that commercial.”
― The Fourth Bear
― The Fourth Bear
“Also not the kind of place to hide a server."
"Is that another pun?" She asked.
"No! I swear! I didn't mean that one."
~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5”
―
"Is that another pun?" She asked.
"No! I swear! I didn't mean that one."
~Shell Game, Kingdom Keepers #5”
―
“I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.”
―
―
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