“i overthink.
i overlove.
i over feel.

i am the sea
or i am nothing.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“You become a house where the wind blows straight through, because no one bothers the crack in the window or lock on the door, and you’re the house where people come and go as they please, because you’re simply too unimpressed to care. You let people in who you really shouldn’t let in, and you let them walk around for a while, use your bed and use your books, and await the day when they simply get bored and leave. You’re still not bothered, though you knew they shouldn’t have been let in in the first place, but still you just sit there, apathetic like a beggar in the desert.”
― Charlotte Eriksson, You're Doing Just Fine

“May 18, 2018

Some days I could fly and feel very happy. I record those days in my journal for I know that I will feel very sad again. And I need proof that I will be very happy again. Thankfully, I feel very happy tonight. Goodnight.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“I whispered to my heart “Is everything meaningless?”

“It doesn’t really matter,” It smiled. “Nothing matters.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“People who don’t feel pain anymore are the most damaged.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“You & Me

I will always
be glad
for the moments
we’ve shared
and for the moments
we still have to share.

Waking up next to you
is a miracle:

Your skin; My skin
Your eyes; My eyes
Your hair; My fingers
Your paintings; My poems
Your piercings; My tattoos
Your overfeeling mind; My overthinking heart
Your fart in the middle of the night; My uncontainable laughter
Your soft yawn when you woke up;
My lips kissing your soul back to sleep;
My head on your chest;

Listening to the heart that taught me it’s okay to feel again.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“I think of killing myself a lot, and it’s the worst feeling in the world.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Sometimes, there comes a time when the universe just wants you to find all the love that you deserve inside the saddest parts of you. It is there where your healing will begin.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“And all she loved, she loved with a little sadness in her heart.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“The strongest ones are the ones who have every reason to die but still live.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“the philosophical cure
to anxiety
is not optimism
but rather pessimism.

optimism says
“the world is beautiful
and there’s no reason to be sad.”

pessimism says
“look at all these countries
waging wars
let’s go get some ice cream
and just listen to some sad records.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“I have learned that feeling empty sometimes is okay. I’ve got to refill myself with something at some point. Art, love, solitude, random acts of kindness. I really don’t know, but that’s what makes being whole again so exciting.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Self-Restoration

You will
heal not
in a way
that you
are acceptable
to other people.

You will
heal in a way
that you are acceptable
to yourself.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“stay alive
for you
may
save a life.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Be soft. Be grateful. Anything that is healing doesn’t always glow.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“don’t work yourself to the point of a mental breakdown. give priority to your mental health. you are only a few steps away from completely losing your balance and breaking your mind. take one step back every time you take two steps forward. breathe. be mindful. see through life as it transpires moment by moment. learn when to rest. sleep is important. eating healthily is important. everything you do for the sake of your sanity is important. being kind to your mind is the best self-care there is. if there’s anything that’s lovely about you, it is your mind.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“Healing is when you become something else, something better, and not something you were before.”
― Juansen Dizon, I Am The Architect of My Own Destruction

“i am both
the sacrificial lamb and the executioner.
the scapegoat and the swordslayer.
the one screaming and the angel of death”
― Bilal Al-Shams

“Coordinata No°18

“No Rain, No Rainbow”
“Niente pioggia, niente arcobaleno”

Le regole del Funk, da Bootsy William Collins a Veronica Vitale”
― Veronica Vitale

“i thought of you, while in the shower
and i thought of how nice it’d be
to have your things among my things
along the bathtub’s edge
and i imagined myself running out of soap
and using yours
and wearing you to work, and the grocery store
and i imagined that night, laying down beside you
and smelling your neck
and finding out where all my soap had gone”
― Anonymous