“In Britain, a cup of tea is the answer to every problem.
Fallen off your bicycle? Nice cup of tea.
Your house has been destroyed by a meteorite? Nice cup of tea and a biscuit.
Your entire family has been eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex that has travelled through a space/time portal? Nice cup of tea and a piece of cake. Possibly a savoury option would be welcome here too, for example a Scotch egg or a sausage roll.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“A bully can only make you feel bad about yourself if you let them.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“Spending so much time alone had turned Chloe's imagination into a deep dark forest. It was a magical place to escape to, and so much more thrilling than real life.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“You mustn't let bullies get you down.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“Perhaps Mother was trying to shame her into losing weight. In truth, it only made Chloe more miserable, and being miserable only made her eat more. Filling herself up with chocolate, crisps and cake felt like being given a much-needed hug.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“He seemed lonely too, not just alone, but lonely in his soul. That made Chloe sad. She knew full well what it was like to feel lonely. Chloe didn't like school very much. Mother had insisted on sending her to a posh all-girls secondary school, and she hadn't made any friends there. Chloe didn't like being at home much either. Wherever she was she had the feeling that she didn't quite fit in.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“The Duchess looked at Chloe with a look that said, You had the chance to tell him, but you chose to carry on the lie.
How do I know that the Duchess's look said this? Because there is an excellent book in my local library entitled One Thousand Doggy Expressions Explained by Professor L. Stone.
I digress.”
― David Walliams, Mr Stink

“Mr Mingin minged. He monged tae. And if it is guid Scots tae say he mingit, then he mingit as weel. He wis the mingiest mingin minger that ever lived. Mingin is the warst kind o smell. Mingin is warse than honkin. Honkin is warse than bowfin. Bowfin is warse than a guff. And a guff can sometimes be enough tae mak yer neb curl up and dee. It wisnae Mr Mingin’s faut he wis mingin. Efter aw, he wis a tink. He didnae hae a hame sae he never had the chaunce tae hae a richt guid waash like you and me. Efter a while, the guff jist got warse and warse. Here is a pictur o Mr Mingin.”
― David Walliams, Mr Mingin: Mr Stink in Scots

“nashin awa wi their een watterin. But naebody wis aw that freendly tae him. Naebody stapped for a blether.”
― David Walliams, Mr Mingin: Mr Stink in Scots