Wed, Sep 18, 2002
Edward and Tubbs survive the fire and decide to leave Roston Vasey following - lines. Unfortunately they are railway lines and they are killed by a train. Barbara, meanwhile, has survived and, pregnant by the deceased David, throws a cross gender fancy dress party, attended by - among others - Pauline and Micky. Pauline has been released from jail and is engaged to Micky but he is unaware that she has done a secret deal for her freedom with Ross in exchange for grassing up Micky's family's dole scrounging. It is all too much for Pauline who rushes off to call the deal off with Ross and gets hit by Legz Akimbo's van. Meanwhile Dr. Carlton invited his patients home for party games with a different and carping old Peter Foot sorely tries his wife and brother's patience in his insistence that they rehearse his funeral.
Wed, Sep 25, 2002
Joke shop owner Lance only has one arm but is persuaded by hospital radio DJ Mike that he can get him a throwaway transplant at a cut price. Unfortunately the arm once belonged to a lady and consequently starts to act as a lady's arm should. However it is Lance who, to own cost, saves Pauline from being run over by the Legz Akimbo van as they speed out of town. Elsewhere inept debt collectors Glen and Big Barry get a savage lesson from their boss Lisgoe about how they should do their jobs whilst undertaker Owen Fallowfield holds forth on the merits of his work.
Wed, Oct 2, 2002
This episode shows how exactly Lance got hit by the Legz Akimbo van. They are in Camden Town preparing a particularly insensitive piece of street theatre about the disabled, entitled Vegetable Soup, in which they impersonate deaf-blind and crippled people. They do not go down well. At the same time Geoff, fired from his job in Royston Vasey, comes to London to be a stand-up comic but is booed off-stage. He is offered the chance to drive a 'hot' car but panics and steals Legz Akimbo's van, speeding back to Royston Vasey and the crash which will involve his needing an operation to change his appearance.
Wed, Oct 16, 2002
At the 'Windermere' guest house Sunny and Alvin Steele are preparing for another swingers' sexploitation weekend, though, unlike Sunny, Alvin is not really enthusiastic, and goes off to the garden centre to meet his bit on the side - and in doing so, he has a lucky escape as swinger Daddy introduces his Medusa machine. This creates an exercise in auto-erotic asphyxiation but unfortunately it goes wrong, killing all the swingers. All except TV personality Laurence Llewellyn-Bowen who has slipped out into the garden for a smoke and gets hit by the Legz Akimbo van driven by Geoff.
Wed, Oct 23, 2002
Professor Breastpinch'd arrives and conducts a street poll, asking people if they want their breasts pinched but, unsurprisingly, gets no takers. Knight Rider obsessive Neds shows his creation Maxie Power, Royston Vasey's answer to Kitt, to his friend Tris. It can fire paper clips and speak. The boys take Maxie Power onto the streets to fight crime but sadly all three become croppers after a run-in with the bad guys. Stella and Charlie separate and he gets masseur work at Judee's beauty salon Spit and Polish. He becomes a hit after giving hand-jobs to blindfolded male clients unaware of his sex, though when he declares his love for one of them, Tony, he gets the sack. Whilst Stella wins big on the fruit-machine and jets off to the sun, a distraught Charlie wanders into the road - and is almost hit by the Legz Akimbo van but saved by a camp stranger.
Wed, Oct 30, 2002
Whilst magician Dean Tavoularis takes his magic show on the streets and Keith Harris's dog cinema faces competition Reenie has a new helper in the charity shop - Keith Drop,to replace Vinnie Wythenshaw,who died retrieving the plastic bag that caused the crash. When Brian goes into the shop for the missing piece for his jigsaw he notices that Keith has something that belonged to his missing wife - for Keith is none other than Papa Lazarou disguised under pink make-up. He avoids Brian and Reenie's attempts to take him prisoner and they end up,like others who have mysteriously disappeared as animals in his circus. But life must go on in Royston Vasey,as typified by the birth of Barbara's twins - another Edward and Tubbs in the making?