Weeds (2005–2012)
Elizabeth Perkins: Celia Hodes
Photos
Quotes
-
Celia Hodes : [watching a video of her daughter flipping her off] I should've had an abortion.
-
Celia Hodes : Is it true what they say? That once a white woman's been with a carpenter she never goes back?
Conrad Shepard : Baby, once I nail something, it stays nailed.
-
Nancy Botwin : Foul! Ref, what's the matter with your whistle?
Celia Hodes : Well, technically, Nancy, Ref can't call a foul. Shane was kicked by his own teammates.
-
Tennis Pro : I'm sorry.
Celia Hodes : You're a big whore.
-
Celia Hodes : [holds up a flyer] Here. I'm posting these in the neighborhood. I tell you, I have a good mind to stay in a hotel until they catch that cougar. Though a part of me is hoping it will maul Dean, and I wouldn't want to miss that.
Nancy Botwin : "What to do if you meet a mountain lion. Give the mountain lion some room. Don't make eye contact. Talk to the lion softly." Are you sure this isn't what to do if you *date* a mountain lion?
-
Celia Hodes : Let your freak flag fly.
-
Celia Hodes : I followed Dean here, did you see him?
Nancy Botwin : Yes, I did, they were playing poker
Celia Hodes : Oh, great, now he's going to come home broke, stinking of marijuana. Guess that's better than oriental pussy.
-
Celia Hodes : When you stop being cute and funny and clean at home and start spending your afternoons with your head buried in the snatch of the tennis pro, yeah, you're a piece of shit.
-
Tennis Pro : That's why I'll never marry.
Celia Hodes : No, you just fuck the married, and then I have to watch it on video.
-
Celia Hodes : Here's the thing, I really want to fuck around on Dean but the thought of putting one more cock into my mouth is just too depressing.
Nancy Botwin : I'm not sure a vagina would be much of an improvement for you.