Table of Contents

Introduction; Daily Life Stuff ................................................................................ 1

Lets Run the Before Start Check.......................................................................................................... 2
One for the Gipper ............................................................................................................................... 4
Prefatory Matters ................................................................................................................................. 5
Dear FAA, Dear Pilots Unions .......................................................................................................... 12
Naming Convention, the Usual Suspects Etc. ...................................................................................... 12
A Man Named Dick Shoe and Lou Wajia: .......................................................................................... 12
Francis and Bob ................................................................................................................................. 12
Doo Wen Chi (Douche WenChi): ....................................................................................................... 13
More on (moron) Ke Jun Xu (aka Richard, or Dick)............................................................................ 15
Memory ............................................................................................................................................. 15
Match ................................................................................................................................................ 17
Wang Xue Nan (Noah) ....................................................................................................................... 17
Le Gong and the Gang........................................................................................................................ 18
Speaking of On on: Captain Ahn ..................................................................................................... 19
Qi Bao Yi (Chee Bow Yee) ................................................................................................................ 19
Curly Joe ........................................................................................................................................... 19
Rule #1 .............................................................................................................................................. 20
CA F*ed in the A** ........................................................................................................................... 23
One Does Not Simply Trust the Chinese ............................................................................................. 24
Something Simple, Something Not So Simple .................................................................................... 25
The Honk-en-ing ................................................................................................................................ 26
Banking ............................................................................................................................................. 27
More Cultural Issues .......................................................................................................................... 28
Scary Movies Are Forbidden?......................................................................................................... 30
A Little Light in the Loafers? ............................................................................................................. 32
Soundtrack Hotel China-fornia ........................................................................................................... 32
Security ............................................................................................................................................. 32
Privacy............................................................................................................................................... 32
VPNs and Proxies ............................................................................................................................. 34
Blockage ............................................................................................................................................ 35
Encryption: Countermeasures for Privacy ........................................................................................... 35
Trojan Horses and Back Doors ........................................................................................................... 36
Untrusted Connections ....................................................................................................................... 37
iPad and iPhone apps? ........................................................................................................................ 38
Moar More Cultural Issues ................................................................................................................. 39
Race and Racism? .............................................................................................................................. 41
Getting a Cab in China ....................................................................................................................... 42
China and Sexism............................................................................................................................... 43
OK, China and Organ Harvesting ....................................................................................................... 44

Introduction; Airliney Stuff...................................................................................45

Complications .................................................................................................................................... 47
CA APU ............................................................................................................................................ 48
Right-Seat Captains and Captain-Sitting Right Seat ............................................................................ 49
Dude, They Arent Allowed To Fly?!? We Have To Get Outta Here! .................................................. 50
Flying Around With No APU ............................................................................................................. 51
Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Guys on Deck ................................................................................................ 52
Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Four Guys on Deck ................................................................................................. 52
Rub-a-Dub Dub, Theres a Guy Riding in the Bathroom?.................................................................... 53
Sleeping on Deck ............................................................................................................................... 53
Smokey Smokey on Deck ................................................................................................................... 54
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Farting on Deck ................................................................................................................................. 55

Activities on Deck .............................................................................................................................. 56
Death Breath on Deck ........................................................................................................................ 56
Throat Clearing .................................................................................................................................. 57
So, Tell Me, What IS Abnormal Situation? ......................................................................................... 58
Confusion Shall Be My Epitaph........................................................................................................ 59
Friggin Retards ................................................................................................................................. 60
Pants Tent et al .................................................................................................................................. 62
Foreign Pilot Meetings ....................................................................................................................... 63
Im sorry, but my hotel key is not working? Nega? ...................................................................... 64
The Terrorist Attack, Terrorism; Punishments and Rewards ................................................................ 66
Milking It for All Its Worth ............................................................................................................... 66
And then suddenly there was a terrorist attack in your home country ............................................... 68
CRM in China: Oil and Water ............................................................................................................ 70

The Career of a Contract Pilot...............................................................................75

A Little 121 411, 101 ......................................................................................................................... 76
Choosing a Contract Company ........................................................................................................... 79
Time Out for a Minute; Do Your Homework Dangit! .......................................................................... 80
Boiling Down an Issue ....................................................................................................................... 81
Jumpseating and Travel for Family ..................................................................................................... 82
FFFF-What?!?................................................................................................................................... 83
First Officer Opportunities ................................................................................................................. 84
Does Anyone in This Dang Country Know How to Think Human? ..................................................... 85
Lets Take a Quick Look at the History of TJA Payscales ............................................................... 86
CA Resignation .................................................................................................................................. 87
Leaving China China China .................................................................................................... 88
San Francisco and Beyond.................................................................................................................. 89
Landing Heads Down (and Up the Nether Region).............................................................................. 92
Wondering Why Transport Category Aircraft Have Runway Excursions ............................................. 94
Implications of SFO for Career Risk ................................................................................................... 96
So, What Happens When You Fuck Up Bad? ...................................................................................... 97
Oh Holy Fuck the Gear. .................................................................................................................. 98
The Company Prevarication ............................................................................................................. 101
So, What Happens AFTER You Fuck Up. ......................................................................................... 110
CA Gear Down ................................................................................................................................ 111
Ya just cant do business with these thieves ....................................................................................... 111
Africa??? Im Not Going to Africa ............................................................................................... 112
Hotels and Overnighting................................................................................................................... 113
Dukes Top 10 Chinese Dammit Hotel Features for Foreign Captains ............................................... 114
Boarding Music................................................................................................................................ 115
Food ................................................................................................................................................ 116
They Friggin Eat Babies!!!!?! .......................................................................................................... 120

Regulatory Stuff and Stuff ..................................................................................121

Airplane Fuel ................................................................................................................................... 122
Pilot Fuel ......................................................................................................................................... 122
Crew Rest ........................................................................................................................................ 124
Scheduling ....................................................................................................................................... 125
Problems with 4/4 ............................................................................................................................ 126
CAR part 61 and licensing ................................................................................................................ 129
Training ........................................................................................................................................... 130
ICAO Level 4??? ............................................................................................................................. 131
Transition Training........................................................................................................................... 132
Do you remember? ........................................................................................................................... 134
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Disciplinary Meetings ...................................................................................................................... 136

Falsified Records ............................................................................................................................. 137
Company Travel............................................................................................................................... 138
I Got Two Dead Engines and a Microphone...................................................................................... 138
Checkrides ....................................................................................................................................... 140
CA Squadron Leader ........................................................................................................................ 142
QAR Country................................................................................................................................... 144
QAR Comparisons ........................................................................................................................... 147
Update: And You Aint Gonna Believe This One ............................................................................... 148
SOP, Safety Nazis and the Flight Deck Jumble Jungle ...................................................................... 149
+1 for Safety .................................................................................................................................... 150
Punishment Criteria for Violating Flight Discipline........................................................................... 154
Rolling TO with no intersection data? Wow I guess!...................................................................... 156
A QAR Case Study, Innocuous ......................................................................................................... 157
A QAR Study, Maybe Not So Innocuous .......................................................................................... 159
Heres Your Healthy Slice of Chinese Bullshit Pie in Full: Punishment (and reward) ......................... 167
Faking the Safety Numbers Like Marthas Boobs? ............................................................................ 170
Oxygen ............................................................................................................................................ 170
Indiscriminate Application of Rules with a Practical Example ........................................................... 171
Transition, Instructor Status.............................................................................................................. 175
Here is some REALLY good advice for ya. ...................................................................................... 177
CA Stop it ........................................................................................................................................ 180
CA Fuckedd* ................................................................................................................................... 182
CA New Candidate Failures ............................................................................................................. 184
CA STOP IT. NO REALLY, WERE STOPPING THIS. ..................................................................... 186

Airspace, Airplanes, Airports and Air Traffic Control ........................................187

Chinese Airspace ............................................................................................................................. 188
Military Activity .............................................................................................................................. 189
Airport Operations and Tower Control.............................................................................................. 190
Standby. Confirm standing by? Standby. Roger, standing by! Roger. ................................... 196
Woes Configuring the Aircraft.......................................................................................................... 196
Green Dot Woes ............................................................................................................................... 197
CA LEFT Rudder LEFT. .............................................................................................................. 199
Altitudes .......................................................................................................................................... 200
EGPWS Fault, A Hypothetical ......................................................................................................... 202
Communication ................................................................................................................................ 202
Incapacitation? ................................................................................................................................. 204
Weak GS Signals; False LOCs All Over the Place. .......................................................................... 205
Laser Tag ......................................................................................................................................... 205
Fireworks ......................................................................................................................................... 207
Preflight Inspection .......................................................................................................................... 208
Domains and Pissing Grounds .......................................................................................................... 208
CA Just Shoot Me in the Head Already? ........................................................................................... 210
Taxiing and Passengers .................................................................................................................... 212
CA WTF? Are You Kidding Me? ..................................................................................................... 213
Still More Passenger Hyjinks............................................................................................................ 218
Even Still More Passenger Hijinks.................................................................................................... 218
Wait, you thought I was kidding earlier? ........................................................................................... 220
The Bangening ................................................................................................................................. 221
Now for Some Really Seriously Alarming Chinese Passenger Shit .................................................... 222
Bird strikes in China......................................................................................................................... 229
CA Blood and Feathers .................................................................................................................... 230
CA Airstairs ..................................................................................................................................... 231

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Aviation Weather and Weather Services .............................................................234

Intro to WX and Shit ........................................................................................................................ 235
Flight Preparation ............................................................................................................................. 235
Weather Forecasting......................................................................................................................... 236
De-icing ........................................................................................................................................... 237
Pollution .......................................................................................................................................... 238
Turbulence ....................................................................................................................................... 241
WX Radar ........................................................................................................................................ 242
Lightening! ...................................................................................................................................... 243
More Lightening! ............................................................................................................................. 244
CA Gimme a Break Non-Event ........................................................................................................ 245
Typhoooon! ...................................................................................................................................... 247
More WX Radar Stuff ...................................................................................................................... 248
Diverting.......................................................................................................................................... 250
Monitor, You Asshole. Monitor. ....................................................................................................... 252

.............................................................................................253
Hospitals and Medical Checks; Aero Physiology ................................................254
Intro: A Hand and the Love............................................................................................................... 255
Im Hot Blooded, 100o; Im Hot Blooded, Check it and See!.............................................................. 256
Getting Sick in China ....................................................................................................................... 258
I VAHN TO TEST YOUR BLOOD! MUAHAHA! ............................................................................. 258
Misdiagnosis .................................................................................................................................... 259
CA Just Make It Happen .................................................................................................................. 260
Breathalyzer ..................................................................................................................................... 262
Drinking in China............................................................................................................................. 262
CA Sneekypoo ................................................................................................................................. 263
CA Late for the Bus ......................................................................................................................... 263
Fatigue ............................................................................................................................................. 264
CA Go to the Company Hotel? ......................................................................................................... 265
CA Call the Hotel, Im Done ............................................................................................................ 266
Donating Blood, a Good Cause......................................................................................................... 267
Psychological Health ........................................................................................................................ 268
Chinese Media Following the Rules Mentioned Earlier ..................................................................... 269

Airplane Performance, W&B and Cargo FIREX .................................................273

TCAS .............................................................................................................................................. 278
CA The Turkeys Gotta Gobble! ....................................................................................................... 282

Its Time for Face-Psalm 121 ..............................................................................283

Navigation Bits and Pieces..................................................................................285
Roll/Pitch Modes are the Work of the Devil ...................................................................................... 286
Expedite THIS ................................................................................................................................. 287
Enroute and You Want a Shortcut? HA! ........................................................................................ 288
CA Comm Question ......................................................................................................................... 289
Flying the Traffic Pattern; a Case Study ............................................................................................ 290
Flying the ILS .................................................................................................................................. 293
Landing ........................................................................................................................................... 293
Some More Browbeating for Ya ....................................................................................................... 295
Go Around ....................................................................................................................................... 297
CA Go Around................................................................................................................................. 297
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ROUTE DEVIATION YOU FUCKER$!!! ....................................................................................... 299

Story Time ..........................................................................................................307

CA Snoopty-doopty ......................................................................................................................... 308
CA Goat Rope TSNSanya ............................................................................................................ 309
CA Glitter ........................................................................................................................................ 311
CA 4Chan/b/ .................................................................................................................................... 313
CA Cellphone .................................................................................................................................. 314
CA Barfolimew ................................................................................................................................ 315
CA Explosion................................................................................................................................... 317
CA Wee-hai Whoops-hai .................................................................................................................. 320
CA CRM ......................................................................................................................................... 323

Inflight Entertainment .........................................................................................324

Chasing Chinese Skirt ...................................................................................................................... 325
CA Rome ......................................................................................................................................... 325
CA Da Bomb ................................................................................................................................... 327

Tug Connected, Ready for Push ..........................................................................328

CA Parting Shots.............................................................................................................................. 329
One Last Look at Terrorism Being Bred in China ............................................................................. 331
Singing the FOs Song for a God Damned Minute ............................................................................ 333
End Game ........................................................................................................................................ 335
CA Its Over .................................................................................................................................... 335
Close the Main Door, Arm the Slide ................................................................................................. 336

Appendices .........................................................................................................338
Appendix A .......................................................................................................................................... i
Appendix B.......................................................................................................................................... ii
Appendix C......................................................................................................................................... vi
Appendix D ....................................................................................................................................... vii
Appendix E ....................................................................................................................................... viii
Appendix F ......................................................................................................................................... ix
Appendix G ......................................................................................................................................... x
Appendix H ........................................................................................................................................ xi
Appendix I ......................................................................................................................................... xv
Appendix J........................................................................................................................................ xix
Appendix K ....................................................................................................................................... xx
Appendix L ....................................................................................................................................... xxi
Appendix M ..................................................................................................................................... xxv
Appendix N .................................................................................................................................... xxix
Appendix O ..................................................................................................................................... xxx
Appendix P ................................................................................................................................. xxxviii
Appendix Q ....................................................................................................................................... liii
Appendix R...................................................................................................................................... lviii
Appendix S ....................................................................................................................................... lxv

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Introduction; Daily Life Stuff

Buckle up tight; were on hot rails to Red China; and please dont think Im exaggerating.

Lets Run the Before Start Check

On the one hand, this book was written with a lot of technical jargon and pilot-speak. Its
written with the novice contract pilot in mind; seasoned guys will find some great stuff here too.
Its not intended to be a guide for finding out that they use 220v/50hz power grids in China
(which they do) or where the more tourist-friendly attractions (oxymorons) are to visit with your
family. Instead, my discourse attempts to engage with Western pilots seeking practical, realworld information about flying while living day-to-day in China on contract... Discourse?
Theres a high-floutin word thats somehow snuck its way out of an English Criticism 101 term
paper and onto my page here; which brings up the other hand.
The tone Ive tried to use herein is more like a casual conversation across the table in
order to tell stories. Im sure youve done it a-plenty at the pub; the wiser among us have learned
more from old farts over a beer than we have in the classroom. So, expect some personality to
shine though. The last thing I wanted to do was to make this book as readable as Aerodynamics
for Naval Aviators. Snooze. Im not going to cite equations but I might cite statistics. Im not
going to go all English Criticism 101 on you, but I will try to develop a few arguments based on
reasoning. I guess what I mean is that youll be seeing things through my eyes a bit: make your
own judgments as necessary.
Since Im fresh out of hands, I have to resort to feet. To keep things a tad academic, I
need to state that Im drawing on my own observations and experiences as well as those of close
contributors from whom Ive taken copious notes over the course of several years. I have an
opportunity now to pass on these useful lessons to you, dear reader. But, Im not going to assert
anything of the type: I propose to demonstrate that there is a correlation between the abundance
of fruit trees and wombat populations in Chengdu. Thats an activity for you to engage in.
All this talk of hands and feet makes me want to go fly my little, brilliant yellow Piper
Cub to get away from it all, which you cant do in China! So, short of distilling the 4-horsemen
of the contract-pilot apocalypse (which I touch on in Chapter 666), heres a brief plot spoiler
instead on my way out the door to preflight my tweety bird: you are a mercenary in China, no
more, no less. They will use you up and discard you when theyre done with you, for a price that
can and will have an enormous grey area. Maybe that gallops as one of the 4-horsemen
depending on your personal value system, I dont know. Read and be entertained, gather some
arrows for the quiver if thats your goal browsing my pages and above all realize that you will
probably have to learn the hard way on a lot of things if you do engage as a contract pilot in
China. If you revisit this book after a tour of duty, youll realize that much of what youve
learned is exactly what Ive written about herein!
Now, like Ive said, most of the niceties inherent in the extreme professionalism we tend
to display by and large as pilots Ive abandoned for style reasons and in order to get to the heart
of the issues without a lot of fancy dancing around (besides, a spoonful of crack does help the
sugar that helps the medicine). Thus, the layman should be able to follow enough of whats
going on to get an idea of the enormous cultural differences one is faced with in China if he or
she is interested in gathering this kind of anecdotal intel; where the more sordid details of our
profession come into play the casual reader will have to skip along. Nevertheless, there are
plenty of generalities that ought to give both the consummate professional and uninitiated
amateurs more of a feel for what its like over there. In this way, these pages are also supposed to
function as something of a reality check. Im going to be frank and as I said a little entertaining.

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There will undoubtedly be some of you out there who disagree with me, my approach and
that of my contributors, or are simply flat-out incredulous with at least one of the written about
stories. Some will chalk certain things up to acceptable or unacceptable differences in technique;
others may identify more serious flaws ranging from airmanship concepts to other important
ideals in general. Still others may find typos or innocuous flubs in data or references (please note
I have kept the company formatting, spelling and grammar in most of the excerpts; often they are
screenshots of documents or emails). To all of you I invite correspondence to a special email
address set up to accept your input, comments, critiques and (God forbid) accolades. Please send
any and all correspondence (no spam please) electronically to:

Well see how it goes, but if there are enough comments and contributions, maybe a second
volume of this book is in order.
Id like to dedicate all of the painstaking work and passion I put into these pages to the
men and women of Tianjin Airlines, Hainan group and China at large. The Chinese are
absolutely fascinating people to observe and interact with. It also came as a surprise that one can
learn so much about oneself in the process of being immersed in another world with just a tiny
bit of self-awareness. To be sure, I witnessed and took part in some fairly unbecoming behavior
in my time over there; its as unavoidable as the wind. When stress levels go through the roof, so
follows ones temper in the closely confined quarters of that alien world, isolated and in shock as
one can be at times. You have to try your best to keep your wits about you, but sometimes a good
ol-fashion temper tantrum is just what the doctor ordered. It is what it is.
So, without further ado and a minimum of prosaic dosh to bog us down, lets jump right
smack dab into the strange and counter-intuitive world of upside-down flying with a bunch of
useless low achievers called the Chinese.
Lets cover another issue here right up front. When someone informs you that this book is
full of lies and misinformation, if someone tells you the author is serving an agenda, if
someone tries to impeach the credibility of the information, information suppliers or
storytellers, keep in mind this book is some 300 (+) pages last count and it was written
and edited FOR FREE. There is no publishing deal, no money being handed to anyone
who has had anything to do with the crafting of these pages or images, no pending
Spielberg movie from Hollywood. So, you have to ask yourself, What would motivate
anyone to spend so much energy on a project, so much time and effort if there was no
payoff? Why would they risk putting it out there? Rest assured there is no conflict of
interest.
Alternatively, when whatshisname tells you, No, its all inaccurate bullshit and out of
date, keep in mind that person may be receiving benefits from the parties we discuss in
detail herein. China is extremely interested in world opinion of what happens within their
borders and have a great deal of motivation to quell discontent or criticism. Were going
to provide our contrary stories and cut through the sunshine being blown up peoples
asses out there. Just sayin
Ed. note: Also before we get too far ahead of ourselves, the word fuck appears 113 times in this document as of
the last word count fuck, better make that 114 115.
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One for the Gipper

For those of you who defend the Chinese and Tianjin airlines, I had to insert just one last
apple for thought. Remember the shock you had when you initially were inserted into the
Chinese Matrix? Remember that? If you dont, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror
because whats happened to you is Chinese Drift. Youve made excuses for so long to justify
the money youre receiving that your standards have slid and slid and slid some more. Keep this
in mind as you flip through these pages and entertain various epithets for Duke and the writing
team. Keep in mind that weve interviewed several pilots fresh from exiting China and also not
as fresh from exiting China and theyve provided interesting insight into the recovery process
and repatriation. Be forewarned that it is NOT an easy process. You are IN the Matrix now and
getting out will entail a little more than puking up your oatmeal breakfast. It wont be easy, and
finding a job back home will be a little more difficult than you thought.

If youve not had your G.I. Joe indoc, surf youtube to find uploaded episodes of these 80s cartoons based on
cheapo fungfu-army-grip plastic toys; I dare you to guess who Cobra Command is in this case. Sorry we cant
take credit for this meme here at FUD central headquarters, but we do advocate the message.
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Prefatory Matters
China is a fucking mess. Or at least it was before I got there,
and it wasnt much different when I left, just more built up. (If these
two sentences ruffle your sensibilities, burn this book and abandon
any thoughts youve been nursing of becoming a contract pilot; its
just not for you.) Now, if youre still with me, this is sort of a
deceptive thing to say because it assumes Id been in China a really
long time, which I wasnt; what Im trying to impart here is that
during the short time I was there I saw a lot of changes take place
with building stuff but not much advancement policy-wise. Indeed,
to see the physical changes Ive witnessed in Tianjin alone in the
time I was there occur in say New York and Los Angeles combined
would take decades upon decades to transpire. Ive seen gigantic
buildings spring up in a matter of months and huge demolitions of old city blocks in weeks.
One could say the rapidity with which that country is convulsing into the modren age is a
bit unnerving; indeed this is the result of our one-time prosperity in the West that has been
outsourced in the name of corporate greed. Here are the guts and glory of Americas
disemboweled manufacturing and intellectual property base in other words, if not other countries
as well, and great successes are afoot for the Chinese!
To be fair, on a one-to-one basis the Chinese are the warmest people I have known,
always interested in helping out and replete with generosity, invested in their group orientation
and proud of their country. They have a very deep, complicated culture that extends back
thousands of years, and if you look hard enough in just the right places youll find some really
cool shit to grab your fancy. I love em! In large numbers, the Chinese are xenophobic, rude,
disgusting, elitist, stubborn, incapable of critical thinking and cutthroat wholesale thieves. And
thats not telling you how I really feel because I didnt mention racist and sexist yet.
Their emerging ruling class is similar to the 1% we have been desperately fighting
against and losing in America for the past few decades. The rank-and-file Chinese are also losing
this war and have no idea they are losing it or even fighting it. They are digging up their history
and culture and replacing it with strip malls at a feverish pace. This is not to say that they need
all of these fancy new shopping centers as a kind of shedding of the past and entry into the
current day; often one will walk down a city boulevard past the brutal dust and detritus of a
massive construction zone for a new commercial megalith only to go by 2 other sizeable malls
that are abandoned, dark and empty, sometimes even cannibalized at the outdoor-street-level for
temporary makeshift miscellaneous merchants stands (you shouldve seen the remnants of the
Home Depot after they were chased out of China for God knows why). So, who said China isnt
capitalist? Well, theyre something, and by gum its not communist. Whatever it is, despite the
fact America had a huge influence building the modern world, the buildup over there is definitely
not for us to partake in; rather, its something for them to rip off poorly, mass-produce and sell
back to us at a profit while we wither and die. Im sure Detroit for one thanks Washington DC
for this lop-sided one-way economic war.
The Chinese tend to build everything to the minimum standard (which is pretty minimum
mind you) only to tear it down a few years later and build it up again. They twice tried to tunnel
their subway under the river that cuts downtown Tianjin in half, and twice lost unreported
numbers of workers lives when these tunnels collapsed under construction (no word on the
latest attempt; it was all covered up hush-hush shshshsh!). Ive seen brand new buildings open
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and be completely trashed in about a years time. They just cant seem to keep what they have
clean and serviceable, or maybe they dont give two shits about it?
There is precious little planning in that country in all aspects of life from the front door to
the workplace; to give you an example with apartment high-rises, often there is no organized
waste management (and absolutely no zoning: think, mixed use commercial endeavors
sandwiched in with residential interests on every floor of a high-rise). Trash is typically left in
hallways or next to elevators where it piles up until the Delta-Minuses have a mind to drag it
away. This process may take days so whatever was left out is permitted to start growing legs.
When the garbage finally does disappear, the wet, sticky and smelly trail it leaves behind will
lead you to its ultimate place of gruesome disposal.

Wall-to-wall marble and garbage in the corridors of every floor: way to go China!

Moving on (or rather, up and down), elevators are typically hot as a pistol and smell like
rotting fish (and not the safest mind you). Walls tend to be covered with sputum and the graffiti
of peoples phone numbers, sidewalks are covered with dog shit and restaurant waste and the
intersections are drowned in water that surely has very high feces content bubbling up from the
clogged (ill designed, inadequate) sewers. And this is in the nicer areas; you can tell because the
streets are paved kinda

Garbage ev-uh-ry-where; and yes, thats a regular public elevator in a big, new, 40-story downtown building.
Its not the service lift they didnt put in a service lift. (Yuck if it was anyhow, pigs.)
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The air is choked with pollution so bad it often leaves an after taste in your mouth. If you
register with the embassy youll get alerts like the one below (Tianjin is downwind from Beijing
so you will get to enjoy all of their pollution on top of the local shit). The rivers are clogged with
waste and stinking algae; of course, there are plenty of rivers in Western countries that are
similarly ruined (Cleveland for instance), but you wont see people fishing or swimming in them
let alone the organized groups of swimmers you see splashing along in China. Yuck!

This is not cutsie-poo romantic Seattle

fog; its a photo I snapped of pollution
that set off an embassy warning similar
to the one above. It leaves a horrible
taste in your mouth, and even makes
your throat raw. You cant see down
the block its so bad. This is one of the
hardships you will endure as a pilot in
China. Youd think maybe you could
avoid it in more rural areas, but Ive
seen/smelled this crap even in Gueeling.
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You have this to look forward to if youre bringing a family to China

This all amounts to some pretty harsh criticism and bald observation that may be difficult
to swallow dear reader, but you cannot be timid when coming to a country like China for the
highly-trained professional work that flying entails. You need to be well informed of the day-today challenges you will encounter and be able to manage the risk these challenges undoubtedly
pile on your shoulders. The distractions are endless it seems. Working as an expat in China is a
horrendous risk, and ignoring this fact will not make the risk go away; head-in-the-sand
mentality will land you in a world of hurt faster than you can say Mao. Its only a matter of
time before the fuckup fairy makes a special visit to you. Its a matter of when, not if.
I cannot count the number of times my driver has
taken me to work via the highway only to encounter
someone driving headlong the wrong direction against
traffic on a divided thoroughfare Whoopsie! Missed my
exit there dont mind me, comin through! (Note to self:
do not get a drivers license in China; hire a local driver
and just go along for the ride.) The saving grace for any
one such encounter on the road is that most of the driving
there takes place at Disneyland Autotopia speeds of nice
and slow, and everyone pretty much expects everyone else
to do something totally flippin crazy (like put it in reverse
on an overhead interchange
because you just flippin
feel like doin it); but, I have seen the aftermath of some pretty
vicious accidents including a couple of cars that ended up in the
(oft times flooded with sewage) shit canal that runs the distance
of a major artery to/from the airport. That one was a rubbernecker! Ive seen the bloody carnage of a trike under a giant
tractor-trailer, the wake trailing behind fifty feet and the poor
Delta-Minus biker another casualty of a system totally out of
control (and my driver actually had the gall to laugh heartily as
we passed by). In fact, one of the other Captains drivers actually
ran over a couple on a bike in the middle of the night taking him back to his apartment (no major
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injuries reported besides a pissed off driver who yelled at the bikers for getting in his way).
So, there you have it dear reader, the Chinese steam-punk reality check trial by fire. You
are best served treating your entry into this experience as though you were an astronaut landing
on Mars encountering aliens for the first time. Again, call this introduction harsh or brand it
insensitive on any front you like; these initial thoughts amount to the impressions of an observer
who came from a functional (albeit crumbling), advanced Western culture with the intent of
operating an advanced Western piece of technology in an emerging 3 rd world system structured
on hardcore 3rd world (Asian fundamentalist) mentalities. There is a huge clash that presents
itself every day in every aspect of life from work to home. It takes a ton of patience; you kindof
have to thrive on these sorts of challenges really. You cannot deny it for long, and trying to
negotiate with it will result in a number of frustrations that linger mercilessly. Alternatively, a
slight case of braggadocio and swagger might serve you well in this case: dont be timid.
So this one time, I had a kid drop a deuce at the bottom of the stairs while we were
boarding. Mom supervising and everything The forward bathroom was 10ft away
Capt. Anon.

Ever notice how China looks like a big ol chicken?

Ed. note: Hang on with both hands boys, its going to be a rough ride from here on out.
Page | 9

A delta-minus sweeping in traffic. You see these people all over the streets and freeways.
I bet that orange vest is a real life saver. Totally safe.
Think they have a voice of their own and participate in governance?

Page | 10

This page intentionally blank

to give you a change to rethink your choice of fucking up your career in China

Page | 11

Dear FAA, Dear Pilots Unions

Before we journey too far afield, I want to make a loud Ron Burgundy-esque Channel 4
News Team Assemble call to the FAA to put its foot down and investigate these yahoos, and
shout out to the Pilots Unions to make a big stink and sway the FAAs thinking in the matter.
The Chinese are flying into our airspace (and we fly into theirs in close proximity to these
clowns), and its about time we started saying NO MORE loud and hard instead of tolerating
questionable practice or turning a blind eye toward it. In the same way English is the
international language of aviation, so too our flight deck methodology should be the standard.
We invented this shit, we should hold fast where it comes to proper user interface. The safety
risks are high and the threat to proper flight deck organization is apparent as China spreads her
tattered wings. The looming influence these retards have to exert on the world is immense and
we have a responsibility to ourselves to stem the tide before we are locked in a situation we
cannot get out of. Flight deck culture ought to transcend boarders in other words, and we have a
situation here of In China things are done ZYX. So, I loudly call on the FAA and Pilots
Unions with my eco-warrior News Channel 4 conch shell to put an end to the insanity that is
Chinese airmanship: stop polluting our planet, stop polluting our methodology. As you will see
in these pages, its a very, very broken system (not that it was ever fixed mind you).

Naming Convention, the Usual Suspects Etc.

The management lineup at TJ has changed a little over the years and will shift again as
things go on. There are a lot of military/party hardliners installed into key positions. In 2013 the
latest rundown (as far as I could tell) begins with the two coolest guys there (who are not very
cool mind you): Capt Yangyao (who I think is one of the main leaders of the house) and Capt
Wang #1 (the other, very gangsta head nega in charge). Then theres Capt Qi (pronounced
Chee) on the EMB190, a different Capt. Wang on the EMB145, and Capt Lironqi (Leeron
quai) on the 320. These are halfway decent guys and somewhat decent pilots. In fact, Yangyao
is the most humane Chinese man I know, and a pretty good stick. Qi is an idiot.

A Man Named Dick Shoe and Lou Wajia:

Then theres CA Ke Jun Xu, the foreign pilot coordinator (Rickard aka Dick Shoe)
who is a little boy in a world of men. This guy has absolutely no flippin idea what hes doing.
Another idiot, CA Lou Wajia (reigning CAAC guy on the EMB145 fleet), is dangerous and
totally crazy in the head. The FOs used to tell me they were afraid of flying with him; I know
now its not because hes strict or anything. No, hes wildly unsafe and a crackpot; theyre afraid
of dying in a plane crash with him at the controls. More on both of these idiots as we bump along.

Francis and Bob

Then there were the two original foreign pilot coordinators (both FOs at the time)
Francis and Bob. Theyve subsequently been replaced by a formal department and a string of
Western foreign Captains who have each in turn acted as head traitor I mean conspirator
dang this keyboard and spell check I mean intermediary. At the time, Bob was somewhat
decent and would actually listen to you but had absolutely no political capital to effect any
change. He was also the coddled brat offspring of some party member and often stuck his nose
up in the air. Francis is a Chinese fire-drill hepped-up on speed. One of the foreign captains told
me about the time he sat right seat for Francis when he was a new captain upgrading in the
Page | 12

EMB145. The story goes that apparently he was lined up on the LOC about 20 miles out, in trail
of another foreign Captain on the EMB190. As they were stepping down, a couple of red dots
appeared on the weather radar. Francis immediately snapped into hyper-overdrive and went fulltard, dodging and weaving back and forth across the LOC (with tower permission mind you)
avoiding what were surely a couple of unfortunately-placed tall buildings that the radar was
painting. He was briefing the SO the entire time on exactly how safe it was to do what he was
doing.
You have to realize that this was essentially a demonstration of extreme Chinese skill and
pilot technique. The foreign pilot in the right seat told me he just gave up and went along with it;
the crew in the EMB190 ahead by 6 miles was reportedly laughing over the radio between the
flurry of Franks impassioned pleas to divert as necessary. So, thats Francis. Im told he showed
up in the office once with a Coach handbag his wife bought him thinking it was cool to have a
purse. No Francis, you looked like a fag dude. Now be a good boy and go play your freakin
pingpong.

Yeah, go play some pingpong or something

Doo Wen Chi (Douche WenChi):

This prick is your prime example of the rank and file Chinese fuckwit FO. Hes the one
who got attacked by a passenger in Sanya (the CA Glitter story). Later, he was reported by
another foreign captain for being a complete knobhead. He was suspended for two weeks and
then had to fly with an instructor. When he was returned to the line, he accosted yet another
foreign captain, demanding information as to whom it was that reported him. This particular
captain takes no shit and is quite straight forward; he simply said that he (Douche) would know
if it was him (the CA) because hed rip his friggin head off and make absolutely sure he knew
he was going to the D.O. before reporting him. Enough said.
Yeah, hes a fucking prick, that douche when-whatever-his-name.
Capt. Anon.
Now, to be polite, Ive changed all of the expats names to Captain A, B, C and so-forth,
and Ive told all the stories in the first person. Well keep referring to the Chinese with their
proper names, also in the interests of being ultra-polite. For the foreigners, I reset the list every
so often to keep things anonymous. Yall know who you are though, and thanks to the many of
you I was able to chat with and supplement the already substantial reserve of stories clanking
around my own head.
Page | 13

You can be sure that they are going to try and figure out who I am; you can be absolutely
sure of that. Saying anything bad about China or the Chinese is an actionable offense, and they
are deathly afraid of international opinion; this goes toward the legitimacy of their government
after all. Im pretty clever though. I can only imagine the company SMS notice when this book
hits the streets (Xu will be all little-boy style pissed off an shit):
Dear all, it has recently comed into our attentions that one former pilot who work here
write a book about job he have in China. Anyone I find writting this book will be fire.
Hereby notified.
Having sterilized all the identifying information and hidden red herring clues elsewhere,
you can rest assured that these are real stories told by real expat pilots flying for Tianjin Airlines
between the inception of the contingent in 2009 and 2014 (around the time I finally got fed up
and left). Now, while some of it may seem excessive and unbelievable, remember that fictional
stories are often half as good as the plain and simple truth. Beyond that, Ive tried my best to
strike a balance between keeping the narrative entertaining and informative.
Still, case in point: do you remember the story from the early 2000s of the tractor-trailer
driver who crashed his vehicle through the perimeter fence at a Southern California airport,
flipped it over at the intersection of 2 of the 3 runways, spilling and smashing its flatbed cargo of
ceramic toilets all over the tarmac, then tore off his clothes, set the cab on fire and ran naked at
full tilt across the greens before he was tackled by the police who had finally caught up with him
after a high speed chase through residential areas? In his defense he claimed his truck was going
to explode... Now, Im not creative enough to have made up this story. Truth is often stranger
than fiction, and this book is simultaneously an attempt to expunge the demons of my own
personal incredulity of what I have witnessed firsthand and an attempt to dissuade anyone in
their right mind from going to China to fly.
I decided to try and structure this book by kindof loosely following the organization of
various FAA test prep publications and the PTS. There is so much information to provide and so
many crazy, backwards methods in China that its best to keep things as orderly as possible; but,
its been something of an uphill battle. So I guess the result is Brothers Grimm, Jeppesen and a
sprinkling of Jerry Springer all rolled into one. One thing of which you may take note is that I do
tend to visit certain topics numerous times. Its something of the result of how I wrote this book,
much of which was in the trenches so to speak. Often I would put it down for a spell, only to be
confronted with a wave of happenings that needed reasoning with and chronicling. It is what it is
dear reader; perhaps my helter-skelter will impart to you something of the wildness of being a
foreign operator in a country like China.

After we land, park and deplane, Ill be sure to climb into the cargo hold and suck my thumb.
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]

Page | 14

More on (moron) Ke Jun Xu (aka Richard, or Dick)

Lets get it over with now. They dont call him Tricky Dick Shoe for any reason: he
chose Richard as his English name of his own
accord, and hes a sneaky little bastard. Shoe, as I
have mentioned before, is a little boy in a world of
men. He is ignorant and steeped in China-brand
protocol i.e. face. The appearance of his
particular face is very weasel-y and his
disposition follows suit. Heres a good example:
captain H had a complaint about promises made
verbally during the last contract signage.
Essentially the company offered everyone the
ability to switch out contracts after a 6-month
period. The so-called month-on/month-off deal
was not working out for this individual (and most
others) so he went to the office to announce his
intention to change the terms to 110-days off.
Dick Shoe would have none of it: that deal was OFF THE TABLE. Now, Shoe tends to
start shaking whenever he gets angry, and this situation was not an exception. Midway through
the pilots arguments to the contrary, Shoe clamped down his beady little eyes, his top lip taut
against his horrendously stained upper teeth and he exclaimed, This conversation is over. He
promptly turned and began typing on his computer. What a little baby.
About 20 minutes later, just to confirm his lack of maturity and ability, Captain H
received a call from his contract agent during his taxi ride home. She explained to him (laughing)
that Dick Shoe had called and complained to her about him. To this he essentially replied that he
did not care, the only face that would need saving was the one he smashed with his fist during
the next meeting, and would she be interested in going to dinner with him later because he
thought she was cute and he wanted to drill her...
Here is another Dick Shoe story; one of the foreign pilots had a deal that went to
investigation. After sitting through a foreign pilot group meeting where the company essentially
lied about all the details (putting everything on the foreigner as is typical), Xu made an
announcement for the pilot to remain behind after the rest were dismissed. He was then fired on
the spot. Welcome to China!
Xu Ke Jun is a two faced liar, and he loses his words when confronted with a direct
conversation. Beware.
Capt. Anon.

Memory
OK. Most of you are probably thinking this heading would be better grouped with
discussions of all things computer upon which I expound later. However (as Im so fond of
pointing out), if youve had any experience at Tianjin Airlines in the last few years as an actual
pilot employee or interview candidate, simply invoking Memory you are grinding your teeth and
imagining horrific blood fountains. What is it Duke? What could possibly be in store for us with
this paragraph? So many italicized words this early on cant be good!

Page | 15

Well, Memory is a person. More accurately, Memory is not so much a person as he is the
afterbirth of another low achiever who was born, inauspiciously not eaten by his mother and
instead allowed to breathe and thrive. But Duke, come on, how could a person elicit such
negative reactions from a group of professionals who have spent their careers practicing data
collecting and processing, dispassionate judgment and decision making in a CRM environment
which resides at the very core of their industry?
Well, Memory is in charge of scheduling holidays, arranging travel and medical checks,
issuing notices on various company related things and all kinds of other stuff. The problem is
that he is a horrendously bad office clerk operating within the flopping and disorganized mess
that is Tianjin Airlines. The upshot is that a plethora of mistakes of all kinds transpire on his
watch directly affecting your quality of life. Coupled to this are further attempts by higher-ups to
use Memory as their cudgel when they themselves do not have the balls to reprimand the pilots
on their radar screen. A generally unpleasant experience results all around. He is soft spoken,
light in the loafers and fatally inept.
Now, why he is allowed to carry on in his position despite the voluminous outrage among
the foreign group is anyones guess. Theories range from the love-child-of-a-company-official
variety to love-child-of-a-party-member. He is a brainless little cunt.
Doctors found a vegetative growth just underneath the surface of Memorys skull;
later, they realized it was his brain.
Capt. Anon.

Very necessary, pick you up a bottle at your nearest department store.

Page | 16

Match
Match is one of the only worthwhile people working in the office. Hes somewhat
westernized; however, as Memorys boss he must have his hands tied. In any case, I certainly
wouldnt actually trust him or any of the other seat moisteners at HQ: remember that lying is a
core part of Chinese culture so you will never want to take anyone for their word. Be careful, be
forewarned, be fore-armed.

Wang Xue Nan (Noah)

OK, this little shit for brains. In China, you can become involved in the training
department as a First Officer with no experience whatsoever. Of course, your family probably
has to be lodged in the communist party somehow, but no matter; you are now in the training
department which means you automatically have more knowledge and better skill than these
dumbass foreigners coming over here taking your job. Enter Noah.
One of the foreign pilots was paired with Noah for a day of Dalian runs from Tianjin. It
was a little overcast and rainy, which is time to raise the antennas and pay attention in Dalian
(and really all of China to be honest, but especially Dalian; more on this later).
The day did not go well from the get-go. Noah took it upon himself to administer an FO
checkride for the foreign captain which materialized in constant badgering and questioning of his
instructions and decisions. You can also imagine that the checklist was run by the FO for the FO,
that the autopilot was engaged without the captains instruction, gear was raised before a callout,
flaps were constantly prompted you name it. I was pissed off hearing the story just to this
point down at the pub.
After surviving the first run, they were saddling up to go out again when a Chinese
jumpseater materialized. After a flurry of conversation between him and Noah in Chinese, Noah
turned to the captain and said that all of the seats in back were full, could the jumpseater sit up
front? The answer was NO of course, all of the seats up front of this fine example of an EMB190
were also already occupied by the crew and SO/observer (more on all of this below). Then the
badgering continued when the captain asked what the opinion of the company leaders would be
if this request were made to one of them: Why dont you go ask them for yourself captain?
After another leg of intensified attitude problems and uncooperative behavior, Noah
finally took it upon himself to depth-charge the captain. During preflight, he deliberately
interrupted and distracted the captain while checking the takeoff performance resulting in DRY
conditions being selected instead of WET (like most of the strips in China the runway at Dalian
is not grooved and it was fairly blustery that whole day). Once airborne, Noah queried the
captain about what he did wrong during the preflight preparation. When he revealed the mistake
the captain had made, the last straw had broken the camels back but it continued. As they
were taxiing in to the apron Noah threatened to report the captain to a company leader who
happened to be riding aboard the flight during that leg for a whole list of infractions.
When they pulled in to the parking spot, the captain set the brake, called the company and
had Noah REMOVED from the rest of the flights. As a parting shot on his way out the door
Noah insisted the captain sign his logbook
ARE YOU

ME???

Ed. note: The captain told me he cross referenced the wet/dry performance books and found the difference was a
knot or two and practically insignificant at their weight. It was also the case that Noah was never
punished for his behavior that day and simply was never paired with the foreign captain again.
Page | 17

Le Gong and the Gang

Being that Tianjin Airlines was in desperate need of filling out its Airbus cadre in 2012,
2013 and beyond, they desperately decided to try and snipe some captains from China Southern
Airlines. I can only imagine the endless back room meetings this entailed but we could all see the
fruit cases of their labor right away; fortunately we didnt see any of the fruit cases featured on
the evening news among smoking wreckage and dead passengers. Because I dont think any of
us would expect a competitor in a market like Chinas to give up decent operators, Im going to
guess you can foresee that the handful of China Southern captains Tianjin did end up with were
the dregs of the dregs, the frantically over-scraped bottom of an already very dry barrel, and LeGong, well, he was the ringleader of this folly volley.
Youll read a couple of stories about Gong throughout, but he and his troop just had to be
mentioned up front. Gong et al were career FOs at China Southern. They would NEVER upgrade
there for the inauspicious reason that CHINA SOUTHERN felt their skills werent up to the task.
Can you imagine that? The Chinese felt some of their own did not have what it takes to be a
Captain. This is not particularly flattering; so when the old boy and a few of his like-situated
colleagues found the opportunity presented at Tianjin, you can imagine the ensuing boners.
The Southern Gong Gang spent a little bit of time sitting right seat at the beginning of
their transition, and the experience they took away from this time is suspect. Captain H had one
such story to offer of Gong. They were fifty feet and VREF+5 from completing a day of flying
here and there around China and as the RADALT began counting down to the moment it would
be over, Gong began waving his hands radically up and down. Captain H walked it onto the
runway and casually sauntered off the high-speed exit.
After they pulled into the parking spot he turned and asked what the hell the hand
gestures on short final were all about. I was telling you to flare, was Gongs response.
YOU were telling ME to flare?!?
Yes, I have over 4000 hours of experience in the Airbus 320.
You have over 4000 hours of experience in this plane?
Yes.
Son, first of all this is a conversation my 10-year old would have with his classmates on the
school playground so grow up; secondly, I have over 8000 hours of PIC in this aircraft so I
probably dont need your coaching to fly it; thirdly can you please show me where in the SOPM
this hand gesture is provided for?

No? Thats because its not fucking in there. So dont ever let me catch you doing it again or well
be having a big meeting with the higher-ups about your lack of knowledge and discipline on deck.

Quite audacious! Can you identify the hazardous attitudes being displayed by this career
FO who will soon find himself in command? Indeed.

On, on!
[You will have a running problem by the time this is over, I guarantee.]
Page | 18

Speaking of On on: Captain Ahn

There is one particularly unsavory Chinese aviator called Ahn. Not only did he become a
pilot somehow, somebody also made the unwholesome fuckwit a line checker. He resembles
what one might consider the Asian wanna-be version of Lt. Pete Maverick Mitchell down to
the mirror sunglasses. As far as skill on the flight deck, hes all assholes and elbows with a
mouth to match.
The foreign pilot unlucky enough to have been paired with this bag-o-douche ended up
refusing to fly with him. It all started in dispatch when Ahn refused to recognize the pilots
presence, instead sitting and sulking very Asiaticly behind his glasses. On the way out through
security Ahn physically accosted the pilot who then, coming close to rearranging Ahns face,
opted instead to block his way through the metal detector and then get in his way trying to
retrieve his kit from the scanner. Children children! Once aboard the aircraft the pilot called
HR, took himself off the flight and that was that. The flight was delayed 3 hours or so. Moar
later

OK wait, so whats wrong with this airplane again?

Qi Bao Yi (Chee Bow Yee)

Ok, heres another Chinese retard I mentioned above who thinks he knows what hes
doing on the flight deck of an airplane. Be super careful with this guy, hes too cool for school in
his own book, and he knows just enough to think hes smart. Dont be fooled.
Remember this of China when you are considering your career move to go there: you will
be held in judgment of your skill by people who actively work against the flight-deck
order we have spent many decades trying to establish.
Capt. Anon.

Curly Joe
OK, I dont know what it is about the Chinese and the men encouraging mutant facial
hairs to grow from moles on their body, but youre going to run into this little oddity from time
to time. Theres just something about having a mole on their neck or face and having a little hair
several inches long growing out of it Im guessing its auspiciously good luck or something.
Francis had one that frighteningly compelled me to want to wrestle him to the ground, pin him
down with my knee on his neck and fucking pluck the thing out with a pair of tweezers. Im not
sure what this says about me and my mental stability, but fuck off anyhow: its annoying as shit
to see, and its annoying as shit to think that this dude believes he will be safer operating an
airplane because he has a friggin hair growing from a mole on his cheek. There. I said it, its out.
Im done with it. My shrink just gave me a happy face on my weekly checkup report.
Page | 19

Looks like there might be a problem, eh?

Rule #1
There are a number of little rules you formulate for yourself as you bump along gaining
experience as an expat pilot in China. Most of these rules get revamped and revised or even
discarded once you overcome the initial culture shock that invariably comes with boots on
ground.
For instance,
If you hang back a minute and watch the crowd at the train station, you will find an opening nobody else
in the herd is paying any attention to and youll get in/out with the minimum of bother.

Then theres this old chestnut,

Watch your driver like a hawk, its best to just go limp after you get in a cab and for sure expect to be in
at least one automobile accident of some kind before too long. If youre relaxed it will hurt less.

Yes, there is a little halo of these hard-won watchwords orbiting your head as a foreigner
in this foreign land; but, theres one rule that rules them all: Never, ever attack another expat
while abroad, ever. Heck, everyone disagrees at some point, and many are out for the smash and
grab, but never ever show the seams of disunity with your foreign brothers. Thats all Im going
to say about the matter besides the fact that Ive observed some pretty atrocious behavior among
the foreign pilot group at Tianjin; those of you reading this know who you are so stop it. Maybe
it sounds funny and idealistic, but your worst enemy at home ought to become your close ally in
a land of heathens like China, especially when doing something patently dangerous like
operating an extremely advanced piece of technology such as a modern jet aircraft amongst a
morass of ooga-booga. You can renew your hate for each other again after you return home.
Page | 20

Next, IF you do find yourself the target of the company, be super cautious with whom
you associate and air grievances on your own time. The walls have ears in China, its spooky.
Remember, they are extremely interested in shoring up the legitimacy of the power structure of
the communist party, and disparaging talk is a no-no. You can usually tell right off the bat who is
a sure-fire enemy in your midst when the person you are interacting with defends the company or
the locals. This is tell-tale, and unless you have the street cred to back yourself up, Id play the
game cautiously. The Chinese are tremendously petty and hold a grudge. For sure the foreign
pilot coordinator is looking to advance his standing on the backs of any foreigners he can step
over, so dont fall into that trap either. Whoever it happens to be, hes useless for many reasons.
Its obvious though, youll see what Im talking about if you go over there to Tianjin.

Yeah, right. Lets see the 1% authorize that one. Walmart has a thriving market to build.

Ive heard another expats Rule #1 floating around and toyed with it. It goes something
like this: You are in China. For any observation that makes you go Hmmm or anything
that is contrary to common sense fundamentals you learned on day one of pilot school, you are
supposed to refer to Rule #1. For any instructor or FO violation of SOP, security or safety, please
refer to Rule #1. At best its a temporary remedy to help you keep your cool, but its ultimately
untenable and potentially disastrous to your immediate self. Do not lose yourself to the paycheck
in other words: its easy to do. I heard the Embraer factory pilots saying this when they attended
foreign pilot meetings. Dont let your skills erode in the punitive and backwards atmosphere of
China. Do not let your personal minimums slide. Dont let your rsum go cold and, most
importantly, do not refer to this so-called Rule #1 as the cure-all it already purports itself to be.
Having said all this, its valuable to know that in China there is a rule for everything and
most of these rules can be bent totally bent. In fact, one should go so far as to say that, while
there is a rule for everything and the rank-and-file seem to know the rules to the letter, taking
great pleasure in quoting them, nobody really follows the rules and nobody really enforces the
rules, crucial or not. Countless times we expats have all encountered what in the West would be
a black-and-white violation, only to realize that in that country its all total chaos at its root so
whatever.
Another very strange behavior pattern in China is what I can best describe as a deeply
seated S&M character trait. The Chinese love punishment. They love to be punished but they
Page | 21

will never admit to it. Id imagine this is something of the cultural tendency to hammer down
the nail that sticks out. The average Chinaman is desperate to be part of the group,
dysfunctional though it may be to our Western eyes, and what better method of confirmation that
one is part of the group than to be bitch-slapped by the authority. Its a sick example of
conformity by force, but this punishment satisfies some need as far as I can tell, and compels
them to be dreadfully honest in the face of a superior questioning them. When it comes to it, the
Chinese are defenseless as inferiors; though, they are great liars in everyday life and take great
pains to actively lie and withhold information as often as the opportunity presents.
I am pretty sure that this subtle introduction has begun to construct a picture in the laypilots mind (those of you who have hung on with me here). Pilots, by definition, are risk
managers. Thats what we do and were good at it. As risk managers we are acutely aware that
you can dodge bullets for only so long until one hits you. Dodge enough bullets, and they start
catching up: all it takes is all it takes. Indeed, being driven in to work and encountering an idiot
driving the wrong way on a divided highway at slow speed may not be the most dangerous thing
in and of itself; the problem is that this example is repeated again and again in a cycle of
behavior.
Undoubtedly, the principled airman is gathering a mental picture here that this system is
ripe, infused and pregnant with bullets that need dodging. Its a culture oblivious to the careful
order and synergy on the flight deck we in the West spent a centurys worth of time and blood
constructing. This problem will take generations to erase, if Sino-centrism ever lets up enough
for any lessons to really set in. The bottom line is Rule #2 and 3: Be careful, be ultraconservative on the flight deck and have a huge reserve of patience and luck, and, This is not a
long-term gig, dont treat it as such; dont get lost in China only to find a rude awakening,
looking down the barrel of a loaded and cocked gun dictating peace and serenity to you.

Yup, put out the fire if you have permission or call the police! I guess they can handcuff the flames?
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]

So, all of the rules youve learned in your home country apply more than ever. Foremost
among those little gemstones that have been rattling around the briefing rooms of flight schools
in the 50 states are rules of thumb like:

There may be old pilots, and there may be bold pilots; but, there are no old bold
pilots
There are 2 categories of pilots: 1. Those who have, and 2. Those who are gunna

Page | 22

Know your machine well, be its master and handle it often (without the dang
autopilot)
Do not be afraid of the big red and yellow S emblazoned on your undershirt, its
your friend now more than ever

You have to keep your chin up, dont give in to cultural pressures over a paycheck (no matter
how large), and keep your safety standards frosty and tight. You just might live through the
experience (actual results may vary).
Ed. note: Another Rule #1: If your wallet grows, dont let your head grow with it; oh, and Duke has superman
underwear.

CA F*ed in the A**

The first real group of TJA interviewees consisted of 5 guys: 3 EMB190 jocks and 2
EMB145 drivers and no hamburgers or unshelled peanuts. The 3 EMB190 guys were actually
doing a recheck after all 3 had busted a previous sim ride conducted by CAAC examiner Pung, a
jerk appropriately referred to as Emperor Pung. Also during their previous adventure in sim
massacre land, a really vicious flu bug had decimated the group, due to which they hadnt passed
the medical checks either. So for them, this was a second go at a situation that should have been
raising red flags for everybody. (Ive heard there was a lone pilot who interviewed before even
this group and bugged out the moment he encountered the condition of the hospital; more on this
aspect later in Hospitals and Medical Checks.)
So, apparently some money had changed
hands through back channels and the CAAC was
now willing to entertain the idea of expat pilots at
Grand China Express, recently renamed Tianjin
Airlines for reasons were afraid to ask (I think
they had major money problems before the city
government stepped in and ponied over a ton of
dough). One of the EMB190 guys was a sim
instructor who hadnt actually flown in a number
of years whereas the other 2 were EMB170
drivers from former British Commonwealth
assets. The 2 EMB145 drivers were rank and file, corn huskin red-blooded regional dawgs from
middle America. (The Mesa guy says he was under the gun because this was around the time
their CEO Johnathan Ornstein and his flunky Peter Murnane were fleeing a failed attempt at
starting an airline in China called Kunpeng Air, pissing off just about everyone at the CAAC and
China in general with their shyster shenanigans.)
Of these guys, 4 passed; Tex failed, the first of a trend. To add insult to injury, the
Chinese had promised to repay airfare to the interviewees, but in light of his performance in the
sim they decided not to reimburse Tex. The story goes that while the 4 who passed were waiting
in the shuttle for Tex to finish checking out of the hotel, Mr. Liu (aka River) handed out 4 sets of
reimbursements. When the odd man out got wind of what had happened it was not a pleasant
experience. In fact, it was downright ugly, as well it would have been if it were me who was the
one. The Chinese have a penchant for fucking you in the ass if they get it in their heads to do so.
At any rate, after 2 years of having advertised the job in China, it took another 6 months
to get their shit together before 3 of the guys finally walked on property in Tianjin. The 4th held
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out, waiting for the contract to be published in full before he left a decent paying Captain slot
back home for the madness that was to come. Of these 4 original blokes, 2 miraculously survived
to a second contract term. The jury is out on whether or not anyone will last to see a third term,
and that depends on whether or not the company survives paying 777-300ER wages to domestic
EMB190 pilots for years and years. How I Fucked My Life dot-com anyone?
When you go to a country like China to be a contract pilot, carry no misconceptions, no
illusions: you are simply a commodity. When you sign on the dotted line, in return for
your paycheck (for which you must assume a tremendous amount of responsibility and
risk), you are resigning all of your human rights, your dignity and professionalism. Carry
no misconceptions; it will manifest itself at some point.
Capt. Anon.

One Does Not Simply Trust the Chinese

You have to be really careful when you consider working on contract in China. Its not
enough to look at the advertisements on the web. Its not enough to even read the fine print of the
contract if you can get your hands on it before you sign. What you absolutely need to do is chat
with pilots who are currently working in China, preferably on the same contract you are looking
at. Whomever it is you do end up talking to about the nuts and bolts, make sure they arent
blowing sunshine up your arse; there are a few cool-aid drinkers over there, and a handful of
scabs who are looking out for themselves as you might well imagine. (Of course, the info on the
pulpy pages youre reading now provides a good step at educating yourself of the issues.)
The prevaricating nature of China making things look better than they are is at every
level of the airline industry, from corporate through heavy cargo and passenger operations. For
instance, a good and fairly well experienced acquaintance was interested in an A330 job at
Hainan advertised as a Brussels base with a bunch of different work patterns from which to
choose. This contract would get him home and he was really excited about the prospect. After
inquiring about it a bit, he came to find out that the Brussels base is not exactly a reality; its a
Beijing base (where all of your flying originates and terminates) that then travels you back and
forth to Brussels. Brussels is a port of entry if you will and a waste of time.
Another pilot was hired on at Tianjin to be a direct entry into transition to the EMB190
(from the EMB145). He was told he would begin training on day 1, that hed never set foot in the
left seat of the EMB145. HAHAHAHAHA! Sucker! You have to wonder why theyve recently
offered 22K a month for EMB190 jocks HMMMMMMM.
Several pilots were inquiring about OK Air (headquartered right down the street from
Tianjin Airlines as a matter of fact) and came to
find out that the foreign pilots there had hired an
attorney and were starting legal proceedings against
that company for blatant contract violations. So,
again, you have to be careful. Do your homework,
dont be shy, dont be blinded by the money and for
heavens sake dont go off half-cocked. If you do,
dont come complaining to me when it all goes
sideways, I already know all about it. (Do let me
know though and Ill add the story in Vol. II of this
masterpiece of whoop-ass.)
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Something Simple, Something Not So Simple

I wanted to present the professional, organized, Western pilot reading this rag of a book
with a grain of salt before we really jump into things. This story is supposed to peel back a (thin)
layer to expose the complex (and to us, malfunctioning) inner workings of Chinese culture and
thinking. First, you have to understand that China is tremendously homogenous. In our Western
societies we rankle at the notion of making generalizations; we are infused with grandiose
idealisms of individuality and that a mans worth amounts to more than an assemblage of
generalizations; however, to be a non-distinct cog epitomized by stereotypes is prized in China.
They would never admit to it, and theyd deny it to your Western face, but they love being the
very thing we Westerners do our best to avoid: the same, brutally and incessantly similar. Here is
what you can expect to encounter every day at work, every day at rest, every night at the pub,
every excursion to dip your foot into the morass of this gigantic beast, lunging and flailing about
between the 73oE and 123oE longitude lines of Gods green Earth.
So, I needed to get a photo for my new badge and logbook (yes, they require a photo
pasted inside your Chinese logbook). Its simple enough. I had in fact done this exercise before,
so I knew just where to go (and no, dont ask me the story of how I found this photographer on
that occasion). My morning flight had been delayed for about an hour at the last minute (youre
very lucky if you ever get a call about a delay before you arrive at the dispatch room; dont get
me started on that); so, I communicated to my driver with a series of hand gestures conveying
the flight was delayed and we would now stop on the way to have my photo taken and printed.
As usual, this only confused the old boy; so I pointed out the directions for which way to go.
Of course, when we got there, the place was closed: fail. Now, I say place and in your
mind you are thinking of a storefront in a strip mall next to a 7-11 or Mobile Phone merchant and
a big CLOSED sign in the window with hours of operation posted nearby. No. This place is a
crudely walled-off area underneath an outdoor staircase servicing the first two commercial floors
of a dingy apartment high-rise. Inside the cramped quarters is a collection of boxes, a dusty
computer and printer, a little stool (maybe even some of the human waste variety), a camera and
a camouflaged bunk bed sandwiched between the ceiling and a little desk. Inside, a bicycle lock
was holding the two glass door handles together.
So, I hopped back in the car with my driver with a big When-tea (we have a problem)
and Mayo (generic for they havent got ______________). Off we sped in search of an
alternative. The next thing you have to understand about China is that they have no Yellow
Pages to consult. They used to years ago, but apparently Maoism chased out that enabling font of
Western capitalism. You (Keymaster) want X; there are 5 billion vendors (Gatekeepers) out there
who have X; but, there is no one to call to bring these two forces into contact with one another
(Ghostbusters). To be sure, they have Baido (a website like Google thats probably ripped off a
bunch of their code but is definitely NOT Google), but its in Chinese only. Shitty jests from 80s
movie references aside, we ran into a bridal shop on a hunch; the merchant pointed us in the right
direction, and we finally found Mecca.
Well, I had to do a little trek down a pedestrian-only-street first, jog around a little (big)
construction, search through a few dark and would-be foreboding alleys before I found this socalled religious center of passport photography. The only reason I found it was that as I walked
by the door I spotted a camera inconspicuously sitting on a counter next to several Chinese folks
chatting happily away. Success!
I jumped up a couple of tiny stairs, presented my old logbook with photo as an example
of what I wanted, and it was all smiles and happiness. Success again. I glanced around: they had
Page | 25

some proper equipment, grubby and stained with fingerprints, but this was the real deal. The
proprietor sat me down on a little chair, snapped off a few photos, and handed the memory stick
from his camera to an assistant. We sat down in front of a computer, wheeled through (surely a
pirated copy of) Photoshop and bang, had a photo ready to go. Now to print it out.
I waited. Glancing at the clock it became apparent Id burned through my hour of respite
and was now burning into my bad-traffic margin. I waited some more. I indicated as best I could
that I had to be out the door in 10 minutes. The lady freaked out a bit and activities around the
printer increased. Still nothing. I waited some more. Someone was now jiggling some cables. I
waited some more. One of the other office folks was looking concerned at another computer
screen. Still nothing. I looked at my watch: the time was up. I turned on my heel and sprinted out
the door, past the evil-looking alleys, past the big dig construction, down the pedestrian walk to
my driver. FAIL. I was so pissed off that such a simple task had foiled me on two accounts this
morning that I could have shot someone.

Its a stupid story: I went to get a photo taken and wasnt able to seal the deal. But if you
think about it for a minute youll understand how, as an isolated event yes its a stupid story; yet,
as an example of the constant roadblocks you will encounter on a daily basis as you do your best
to accomplish the most fundamental and menial tasks, itll start to drive you nucking futs. If you
are proposing to live for any length of time in that country, This Is China at a glance for ya.

OK, what the hell kind of chemistry are they doing over there anyhow? Jeezez Meth?
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]

The Honk-en-ing
You are going to friggin LOVE China: peace and quiet it is NOT. Besides the constant
rat-a-tat of firecrackers and ruckus of people who were never taught about the indoor-voice we
westerners all learned as children, you will hear honking. They honk when they are approaching
intersections, when they are approaching traffic from behind, when they are passing traffic, when
Page | 26

they are in front of traffic they have just passed, when they see their friends, when they dont see
their friends; in fact, its easier to just tell you when they dont honk which is pretty much only
when they are on their fucking cellphone or pulled over to piss on the side of the road. If they are
on the phone, keep your eyes peeled because they cannot multitask as a general rule. Whenever
you are in a taxi and the driver takes/makes a call, for instance (which is all the friggin time),
the car will slow to a meandering stop, most often in the middle of a busy street. In this case,
everyone else honks like mad, until that is, one of them receives a call, oh goodie Yellooo?
Then its their turn to stop in the middle of the street and cause mass chaos. FUCK.
Ed. note: In the first quarter of 2014 Tianjin had 3 top-notch 320 CAs with TRI qualification from the UK, Canada
and France resign, and one line CA from Spain quit as well. Couple with this the resignation of numerous
Finnish, American and South-American pilots from the EMB190 and EMB145 fleets and I think we start
to piece together a pretty good picture of the broad cultural backgrounds of pilots who reject the Chinese
(especially Tianjin Airlines) no matter how much money their contracts were ramming down their throats.
Its not very auspicious on a worldwide scale, China; a pretty sound assessment that something is wrong.

I'd like to buy Park Place. BTW doesnt Mao look lovely in this shade of pink?
Relax, its $14 maybe Baltic Avenue instead.

Banking
If you want to get pissed off really quickly, and by quickly I mean virtually in
nanoseconds, walk into your nearest bank with the intention of doing something downright
insane with your money like withdraw some of it or send it overseas. Bottom line: banking in
China sucks enorgantic hippopotamus cock. Long-standing rules of banking for foreigners here
include such prohibitive measures as:
1. foreigners cannot exchange from RMB to more than $50,000 USD in a year,
2. foreigners cannot send more than $50,000 USD out of the country in a year,
3. foreigners cannot send more than $2,000 USD overseas in a day,
4. foreigners can exchange RMB for a maximum of $500 in a day,
5. each transaction is going to cost you about 250 RMB (given ~6.3 as the rate),
6. most banks like ICBC require a huge amount of paperwork to send money out,
7. you cannot chose your own bank to have your paycheck deposited in, and
8. an almost fanatical devotion to the pope and shiny red uniforms damn!
Being that you are paid of your salary in Chinese RMB into a Red China bank account,
you can see this could present some challenges, especially if you dont stay on top of it. However,
there is a way around it: find a local friend to help you. Locals are still limited to sending
Page | 27

$50,000 USD overseas per year, but the key is that they do not have the daily limit (at least this
was the case as of the writing of this chapter). So, find a local friend or few, buy them lunch and
have them do your banking for ya.
Its a little funny having someone else send any amount of your cash through the nether
regions of the banking system, but it kindof works and there is no other way to get things done.
Truth be told, the first time I did this my cash got lost for a couple of weeks and I freaked out (it
was only 10k only). But then it came back to China and luckily my friend was honest enough to
tell me when it landed in his account. If any of this blows your mind, you are in damned good
company. I didnt expect the kind of bloody Spanish Inquisition.
Now that Ive covered this nastiness, let me impress upon you some more: DO NOT keep
your money in China. Its best to flush it out of their system as soon as any payout is made. Keep
a few thousand in your pocket and live off of that. At a minimum you should immediately move
the bulk out of ICBC and into another account you open, say for instance Bank of China or the
like. The reason you want to do this is that the company has access to the account they are
paying into. This means that IF something goes awry you can imagine they will instantly have
their dirty little fingers jammed into your apple pie looking for a payoff.
But, this is not enough. Its stated by the government outright in the UAE that you
immediately lose access to your account the instant youre terminated. Sounds like something the
Chinese would do as a matter of fact, if you have debts in China you can be put in prison if
said debts were incurred with malicious intent. I wonder what skipping out on a training bond
would count as? Malicious intent? Hmmmm.

More Cultural Issues

The Chinese tend to be masters of flattery. Dont fall into this trap. They will adorn you
with praises in your presence and then stick daggers in your back. This is so typical of Chinese
culture and so ingrained in their ways that it takes us Westerners by surprise. One purpose of
such behavior seems to be a manner of extracting information from you. In this way, they are
avid followers of the old adage trapping flies with honey; this is definitely an iteration of that
endeavor. Ive had stories Ive told FOs come back to me from company leaders. I heard of one
foreign captain who was discussing the recent legalization of marijuana in parts of the US with
the FOs, then get called in for a drug test the next day. Be careful of who is flattering you and
what you talk about in conversation; the ones who pile it on are surely your worst enemies. Once
you understand this devious behavior and the fact that the FOs have a broadband connection
with management it becomes transparent and might be used to your own advantage if you are
clever.
The Chinese are spooky in general. You really never know who you are talking to.
Another guy told me of a strange and somewhat scary coincidence that made him realize this fact.
He was traveling back to China from a holiday, chatting with a Chinese girl sitting next to him
Page | 28

on the plane. For some reason the conversation turned to the internet and how a lot of websites
are blocked by the Great China Firewall. He told her about a proxy hed been using for a couple
of years in order to jump the Wall and access stuff like YouTube and Facebook which are strictly
forbidden. A couple of days later the proxy was no longer accessible. Coincidence? At any rate,
he subscribed to a VPN like most of the other guys there and the rest is history.
I think it goes without saying that Chinese culture is a closed system. Egalitarianism is
foreign, creativity is typically frowned upon (or at a minimum generally considered an uncouth
pursuit for engagement in by other people) and non-conformism is especially embarrassing.
There is a popular saying in China that the nail that sticks out is hammered down. Personages
like Einstein could never flourish in a system like this, and perhaps it explains the tendency to rip
off IP rather than develop it on their own. Indeed, the Chinese are masters of reverse engineering;
the products you buy at Walmart were likely developed by a Westerner at some point,
appropriated by a hungry factory owner in China, manufactured en masse overnight and sold
back to unsuspecting consumers in the US. Such is the economic warfare waged against us,
supported by greedy corporations for decades (who are now in balls deep with a partner on the
verge of decimating them) and we see the results in bankrupt cities like Detroit and a countrywide population where 4 of 5 are impoverished. Great job America!
One captain related a story to me of a first officer with whom he was trying to have a
conversation. He was talking about something philosophical, and the FO actually turned to him
and said he should not be thinking or talking about such things! My jaw dropped as well.
Disgraceful. Remember, this is the theater of operations you will be operating in if you decide
China is the place for you.
On another front that I will discuss over and over: the Chinese love rules (in the strictly
formal sense of the word). They love the rule making process, they love learning the rules, they
love quoting the rules and talking about the rules at length and in detail; but, nobody follows the
rules and nobody enforces the rules. Still, the Chinese also love punishment. They will never
admit to it, but it serves some deeply rooted need to feel part of the group from a negative action.
This is pop psychology S&M talk at any rate, but theres something to it. They love being
punished; it does something useful and important beyond activating obedience. Its kinda weird.

A big, fat, goose-egg ZERO

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Scary Movies Are Forbidden?

Among the many things forbidden in China, this stands out as a particularly strange case:
thriller movies are a no-no. Ive gotten mixed signals on this back and forth, but officially images
and stories of rabid vampires, gore monsters and raving psychopaths coming to get you have
been absolutely proscribed. I find this an exceedingly curious aspect of the Chinese experience
(and Im not talking about the stupid teeny-bopper Twilight flicks of late mind you; Im talking
the freakishly nightmarish and somewhat laughable zombie apocalypse board of fare). I spoke
with a few captains about this, bouncing various ideas off them, and it seems my theories
resonate a bit with foreigners who work among these people.
I assert many times herein that coming to China is similar to visiting aliens on Mars; yet
they arent totally different. They are still human beings despite all of their attempts to separate
themselves from the lot of us, and in this very way they are prone to the exact same
enfeeblements as you or I (despite their equally desperate attempts to hide that fact). What the
hell are you talking about Duke?
Look, there are a couple of ways we can approach understanding this situation without
coming apart at the seams. Before we do that though lets consider the basic human reaction to a
scary movie: I dont know about you, but I am smitten by an onslaught of primal instincts and
fear when I see a really well done thriller. In this way, could it be that the Chinese government is
literally protecting its people from the boogie men and monsters of Hollywood fiction? Is the
communist party a kind of default hero in this way? Perhaps, given their proclivity to myth and
superstition. Perhaps also it fulfills the subconscious need for some kind of heroism of the
communist party shielding the Chinese people at large from evil ooga-booga American
Hollywood itself. Perhaps.
Yet, I can see it working on another level. Whenever you or I go to see a scary movie,
there is a kind of educational process that goes on: we are presented with a safe opportunity to
master our fears of things that go bump in the dark without even really knowing it. The
filmmakers maneuver the audience into releases of adrenaline from which we then recover, again
and again (like a roller-coaster ride, another distinctly Western feature that is conspicuously
absent from Chinese culture). In this way, perhaps we un-constrained Westerners participate in
activities that also provide the chance to better handle things like the unknown which generally
elicit a huge amount of fear in humans. In contrast, by and large we Westerners arent afraid to
question and look at the unknown, and we are thereby better equipped to engage in pursuits like
flying an airplane or wrestling with tyrannical government actions etc.
I had a long conversation with one foreign captain who nodded along with me and added
his own two cents at the end. He contributed the observation that the Chinese are afraid of so
many things in our particular workplace; they are a culture based on fear of punishment after all.
Fear is so much a part of Chinese day-to-day life, no less so on the flight deck, that you
constantly hear things referred to in manners that appeal to satisfying this fear with submission.
There is submission to fear of flight, fear of the weather, fear of the government, fear of ATC,
fear of just about anything you can put your finger on; and they are masters at submitting and
cowering from this fear.
A fearful populace is easier to control. The last thing you want to do as an oppressive
regime is empower your people to look at their fear and question it. Once they question that fear
and crush it, they may start questioning the authorities; and if I know anything of the crap and
chaos that is the communist party in China, this would lead to a dreadful revolution.

Page | 30

So, yes, when you fly in China and encounter that ugly and irrational Chinese fear on the
flight deck, think about what Ive written here for a moment. Maybe its a bunch of Nukembrand pop psychology bullshit, or maybe theres a kernel of truth in these paragraphs. Then again,
maybe the Chinese are just a bunch of fucking pussies. I dont know run with whatever works
for ya.

And here you didnt believe me psha.

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A Little Light in the Loafers?

The men over there are a bit, shall we say, fem. Ive heard statistics quoted about the rate
of homosexuality in China but Ive never really confirmed anything (ha!). Still, given the
particular arrogance and forwardness of Sino-centrism and the wonderfully intolerant behavior
of the state and people at large, it raises an eyebrow that there would be such a seething, teeming
subculture of alternative lifestyles (hell, seething and teeming is what China is best at).
It becomes an especially distressing concept when you consider the significant disparity
of men outnumbering women over there. Men outnumber women in China due to abortion in
favor of fathering boys, and I guess a guy has to find love somewhere? Now, whether any of this
is the operative cause for the males acting like girly men or they just dont get the point of
masculinity, I couldnt say. In any case, they are very touchy-feely, dress like women, carry
purses (thinking its cool) and love to rest their hands on each others thighs and forearms. Gosh
dang, its non-sexual you damn perverts. I mean, youll be having a casual conversation with one
of them and all of a sudden this dudes hand is on your thigh or caressing your arm. Eww. It does
make a brotha wonder! My goodness, would you look at the time

Soundtrack Hotel China-fornia

China has a soundtrack that consists of exactly two songs, both of which will piss you off
to no end. The first song is this shitty piano affair that loops on and on and will make you want to
vomit and claw your ears out more than when you inadvertently happen upon the Chariots of
Fire theme. Youre gonna hear this dainty little ditty at hotels, blaring outside bridal shops (I
know, I keep mentioning those dont I? Yup, theyre that ubiquitous in spite of the preceding
paragraph questioning Chinese sexuality/gender roles), lobbies of banks (in case you needed to
be pissed off even more than usual in said bank), train stations etc.
The second song is one that I kindof used to like (Lebowski be damned): Hotel California.
The popularity of this song in the West was supposed to have burned out in the late 70s along
with Stairway to Heaven, and then fucking China discovered it god dammit. Thank the lord they
arent cool enough to have ruined Led Zeppelin for me. So yeah, enjoy the one hit the Eagles
have now plagued the world with in taxis with toothless, fetid drivers, shopping malls trying
desperately to be cool (and apparently achieving this status among the Chinese rank and file),
and just about everywhere else the piano song cannot be heard.

Security
Security in China is a joke. Someone somewhere has to have his/her finger on the button,
or so Ive heard; Ive never seen direct evidence of that person. Youll get what I mean

Privacy
There is always someone looking over your shoulder, literally. On the flight deck, on a
bus, standing in line, waiting at a stoplight (which youll do very little of if you know whats
good for ya); there is ALWAYS someone looking over your shoulder. Sometimes youll just have
that feeling you get that someone is there, youll turn quickly and catch him/her off guard. Little
fucker! I knew you were there. They tend to react with a little jump, smile broadly and point at
whatever business it was you were handling and try to say something in broken English. Id
advise investing in one of those plastic screen privacy appliqus from your local electronics store
for your laptop computer because you ARE going to be snooped on.
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Oh-ho, and youre going to looove going out for a plate of food or a night on the piss as it
were. If supper has been planned of an outdoor restaurant for a pleasant eve (of which there are
precious few pleasant evenings or decent outdoor restaurants), plan also to have your photo taken
by passers by more than once, more than twice, more than thrice. This affair comes in two
flavors: some retard with a smart-phone clicking off shit like it was his/her first time visiting
Earth, or some ultra-retard with a DSLR, giant zoom lens and camera bag. And itll happen just
as youre taking that big bite of whatever the shit it was you think you ordered. Hot and holy hell
this pissed me off.
Oh, and speaking of going out for a night on the piss (Ed. note: apparently this is UKspeak for lets go get trashed): again, prepare to be monitored, classed, categorized, observed
and recorded. I have no clue how many photos there are of me, 3-sheets to the wind with some
fucking local photo-bombing himself with the foreigner. And, being that they all look the same
(in other words, you dont have enough experience looking at their facial features yet to
accurately scrutinize what are for the moment subtle differences), what do you think the chances
are that some office blob from the safety department has been tasked with roving the local
watering holes, looking for pilots to bust over the 24hr drinking rule? (Oh Duke, ya big goof ball,
ha ha ha, youre being paranoid LOL. Am I? Just you keep on reading and say that again at the
end of this epically awesome book. Or, better yet, go there for yourself and tell me that when you
come back; youll need eyebrow surgery to restore your face to its default expression, I
guarantee.)
So really, you have to understand the big picture with this (no its not a pun). When you
come to a country that is not ethnically diverse, its not like the US. They dont understand the
melting pot ideal. They absolutely see you as the exotic other, and by God theyre going to
document the encounter. Its maddening and it turns you into a jumpy, grumpy, paranoid asshole
constantly checking your back. Coupled with this is the fact that privacy in China indeed is like
ice in the Sahara; its as alien to the Chinese as their crap is to us. Remember, their fundamental
concept is that of a group (they are communists at heart, no matter what the markets are doing).
There are no appreciable boundaries between me/you when out in public in that country. Paired
with your appearance as the outsider, youre in for some shit, so be ready for it. The feeling is
quite uncomfortable.

My goodness! Would you look at the time!

I was born in the Middle East and became a citizen in North America when I was very young. My
application to Tianjin was denied because of my background. What a bunch of assholes.
Capt. Anon.
Page | 33

VPNs and Proxies

I mentioned VPNs and proxies above and realized that some of you may not know what
the hell these things are. I didnt know squat all about them before coming to China; so this
section is meant as more of an introduction to the subject (Im sure there are a few of you out
there with a ton more knowledge about this than me). First, you have to realize that when you
connect to the internet, ALL of the data coming and going over the plug in the side of your
computer is visible to whomever wants to see it and is motivated enough to get off their ass,
intercept it and have a look. In China, theres about 5 billion people standing around, super
interested in knowing what you, the foreigner in their midst, is surfing, and they dont have any
notion of privacy. They dont get the whole NSA/Snowden scandal for instance.
To help protect yourself on the internet while abroad (or in your home country even), you
will want to do some research on becoming anonymous. There are a couple of steps you can take
right away like purchasing a subscription to a Virtual Private Network or VPN. What this service
does is offer a plethora of internet connection servers located the world around which you log
into the moment you connect to the net at your home (or office, or Starbucks). Their server
which you just logged into then encrypts your connection and data between the plug on the side
of your computer, through the plug on your wall and to the plug on the side of their server. This
is a good thing, not perfect (they say with a computer farm big enough they can crack your
packets in a few thousand years or something), but it is the 1st step toward becoming anonymous
and private. Its not the last step though.
One of the better VPN services is WiTopia. For about 70 smackers a year (not too bad)
you get unlimited access to their hundred or so servers scattered around the globe. Id
recommend getting their service BEFORE you land in China (or any other service you chose),
but if you need to do it after (maybe you are over there now reading this book wishing youd
read it sooner), there are ways of signing up when you are behind the Great Chinese Firewall.
WiTopia has a special site at:

www.JumpTheWall.net/support
So, in case you cant access the regular WiTopia site try this link out. They have prompt
customer support and any time Ive had a problem theyve been Johnnie on the spot to fix it.
Many times during the year there will be (military?) hunter/killers scouring the internet in
China looking for encrypted connections. When one is found, they sever it somehow and ban
new connections to the server that was offering the encryption. Its happened to me a lot,
especially during the big communist party shindigs in Beijing. When this happens, you have to
visit the link above and get a new IP address at the server you want to log into. Like I said,
WiTopia has a quick customer service line to get you hooked back up; encryption is their
business after all, and they dont want to see you exposed. Still, it can be a pain in the ass to have
to get a new login every hour or two, so there are other, more robust ways around it youll
have to sniff around to learn about them for when the time comes.
When youre using a VPN, most of the time you wont be able to surf the company
website. Besides the annoyance of having to logout of your encryption service and then back in
when youre done doing your flight preparation (or whatever other wank-fest you need to engage
in), you just have to wonder why they are blocking you. Keep reading because this fact, along
with the issues of certificates below, is a tad bit concerning.

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The second step is to use proxies. Proxies are kindof like VPNs in that they are remote
connections that issue you a new IP; but, they may or may not encrypt your data and may or may
not log your activity. Essentially, Id recommend using a proxy in this instance as a second layer
to complicate identifying your IP address as the VPN server for the sites you want to visit. If a
site you visit knows you are logged into a VPN, well, youve lost a measure of anonymity and
have to rely on the VPN host not to reveal your identity which they say they wont do but
you never know. Lastly, if youre really super interested in staying anonymous, look into
projects like TOR and its ilk. Some of these options are really clunky and slow, but they are
really hard for intruders to crack.

From dailymail.co.uk, 6 October 2013

Blockage
Just to keep freaking you out about all of this internet ooga-booga, many of the sites you
visit without thinking about twice from your comfortable sofa in the West are strictly
FORBIDDEN and BLOCKED in China: henceforth the auspicious Great Chinese Firewall. Is
there a killer video on YouTube one of your friends just recommended you watch? BLOCKED.
Interesting news clip on XYZ news? BLOCKED. Want to reach out to your evil minions on
Facebook? BLOCKED. Vimeo? BLOCKED. Porn? Strangely, a lot of porn sites are not
blocked oopsie, did I just say that? I mean, I heard from a friend I know who talked to some
other dude who was like all stuff. Seriously though, porn is ILLEGAL in China and some is
BLOCKED. In fact, besides all of this obvious and semi-obvious stuff, some of the craziest sites
youd never guess at are BLOCKED; even Google and Wikipedia have been blocked from time
to time, and you can only scratch your head and wonder what the hell is up with all that.
BTW, whatever you do IF you do happen to have some porn stashed away somewhere
on your computer for whatever reason DO NOT SHARE IT with a Chinese person. They will
turn your ass in. Ive had FOs joking around and ask me to give them porn or check it out on the
flight deck Nope, dont have any my friend But I invite you to look for your own on the
internet by yourself. This leads me to frankly discuss how to protect your personal data on your
computer.

Encryption: Countermeasures for Privacy

If you really want to protect your privacy and anonymity, I recommend another layer of
personal protection by encrypting your entire computer. It may sound paranoid and extreme, but
if the recent NSA deal bothers you (as it should) like it bothers me, it should prove that we arent
paranoid after all. Privacy is important to me for a very good reason. And, pointing the finger
back at them, isnt it a little extreme that the government thinks its necessary to keep these tabs
on its people at large? That seems extreme to me. God bless the patriot act and the intrusiveness
for which it stands.

Page | 35

Now, take this book youre reading for instance; its an example of me participating in
my freedom of speech. I get to express my thoughts and opinions in print because my freedom is
protected by the greatest document ever written by human beings: the Constitution of the United
States of America. Read it some time, its fantastic and will renew your love for America in a
very pure, non-agenda satisfying manner. Anyhow, by writing this book, Ive exposed myself to
damaging my career and perhaps even inviting action against myself by a foreign body. Because
of this, Ive chosen a pseudonym to protect my identity and that of my contributors; its a
reminder to me about how fragile our freedoms really are.
Its not really a bait and switch to go from talking about freedom to privacy. If you really
think you are free if someone out there is encouraged or duty-bound to monitor your actions, you
are crazy. If they are allowed to monitor you with the impunity they have, they can engineer
(limit) the choices and paths you can take. This is not freedom. If they can limit you, or if they
can even threaten you with the implication of limiting you, youve been exposed to having your
thoughts and opinions controlled. This is not freedom. So, if the freedom our flag represents is
important to you, take serious measures to protect yourself (and your family) accordingly.
Ive done a bit of research into the matter of encryption at the recommendation of one of
the foreign captains I was able to talk to. He introduced me to the whole concept and its really
opened my eyes. There are a ton of free resources out there available to you. Be careful which
one you chose; some of the programs have been proven to have back-door access of which the
authorities can take advantage. TrueCrypt and FreeOFTE seem to be fairly legit projects;
whatever solution(s) you chose, dont be blind to the issues and look into who is saying what
about it all. A little technical knowledge and sniffing around will take you a long way. At least
youll be able to protect yourself from the casual snooper trying to access your computer at a
hotel while you are away or a flash drive you accidentally drop on the floor.

Trojan Horses and Back Doors

If this is you, your wife or your kids shopping at an electronics store over in China, you need a
little 411 intel. No, thats not a legit copy of Photoshop you idjit, AND what do you think the
chances are that its going to install some nasties onto your computer when you slide the
CD/DVD in? Enjoy your computer virus/backdoor that lets Mao enter your computing world you
insane in the membrane bargain hunters.

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Untrusted Connections
When you login to the company website using your PC youll most likely be met with the
following message:

Ohoh

https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/connection-untrusted-error-message
Documentation from this Mozilla Firefox link provides the following information:

Get out of there!

The safest thing to do is to click Get me out of here!, or to go to a different website. Unless you
know and understand the technical reason why the website presented incorrect identification, and
are willing to risk communicating over a connection that could be vulnerable to an eavesdropper,
you should not proceed to the website.
If possible, you should contact the owners of the website and inform them of the error.

Bypassing the warning

You should only bypass the warning if you're confident in both the identity of the website and the
integrity of your connection - even if you trust the site, someone could be tampering with your
connection. Legitimate public sites will not ask you to add connection rule exceptions - an invalid
certificate can be an indication of a web page that will defraud you or steal your identity.

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Good lord save the oomenz and childenz

So yeah, cross-site scripting SQL injection cross-site request forgery etc: if these
internet hacking techniques mean nothing to you grow up, its the 2010s and its time to learn a
little about that magic box you mostly use for surfing pornography. In a country like China
where they have absolutely no scruples about spying on you, you can be absolutely sure that
when the opportunity arises they will do their best to accomplish a little all your base are belong
to us on your blanco nio ass. Dont get sacked.

iPad and iPhone apps?

Have you read anything about how the FaceBook Messenger app is able to mine your shit
for all kinds of information and possibly even monitor your camera and microphone? If you
havent heard of this faggotry, I really encourage you to do a quick Google search and get you
some inphomaeshunz. After you get the holy-fuck-theyre-doing-that-411 from the horse and its
badass mouth, maybe uninstall their shit and even consider re-installing the OS from scratch if
youre really paranoid, like me.
Anyhow, the Hainan company has a fancy app or two that they want you installing on
your shit. Youre being required to buy your own iPad and download a ton of company stuff onto
it. I seriously doubt theyre getting legit Jepps charts or Apple App Store certification. Not that it
matters. Anyhow, what do you think are the chances theyve coded in some Trojan horses like
the FB Messenger shit?

Why do you think theyre REQUIRING you to install it? You can do all of your flight prep on
your computer or at dispatch. Convenience??? We know thats code for, Let us into your life so
we can watch you. Oh, didnt care about the NSA shakedown in 2013/14? Fine, let Mao
monitor you. Sell yourself out, youre making baby Thomas Jefferson cry. Youll be sorry you
did and dont say I didnt warn you up front when shit finally does go down.
Page | 38

Chance of catching pollution cancer 2014: ZERO according to the government.

Moar More Cultural Issues

The Chinese tend to be really super good at precise, rapidly executed repetitive tasks.
Were all familiar with the scene from Forrest Gump where he challenges the Chinese ping-pong
champion: two masters of assembly-line-like economy and precision of movement locked in
competition (They will battle in a battle that cant be won; who will win?). I want to confirm
this as an accurate representation of their particular strength in general. On the flip side, they are
horrible at extemporaneous, off-the-cuff thinking, and I mean horrible in every sense of the word,
i.e. they are horrified of it. Though its beyond my intended scope here to demonstrate (or even
suggest) that these are mutually exclusive skill sets in the human experience (repetition vs.
impulsivity), in their culture they have certainly cemented the two as such.
The problem with this is that, as we all know, in aviation you need to be able to think on
your feet. In this way, aviation is as much a humanities art (radical hipster) as it is a hard science.
Everywhere you look in China, a system has been erected to take the thinking out of everyday
life and replace it with easily repetitive motions, and this is mistaken as a demonstration of the
highest caliber of airmanship (or whatever-else-manship it happens to be). (Its also mistaken as
a representation of the pinnacle of modern day life; the rat race is alive, well and aspired toward
in China.) For example, you will see FOs (and, more importantly instructors) program the FMS
in the blink of an eye; however, when it comes to an unknown like vectors or some other
purpose-built gap in the flight-plan, they freak out and do their best to eliminate it quickly and
unthinkingly. They cannot cope with anything closely resembling The Unknown (capital U), and
this is their ultimate failing with all things real world.

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Now, forget the fact that some basic math and estimating can be done in your head to fill
in that gap in the flight plan; it is a vile demon and slaying it with the delete button makes the
eternal light of Mao shine upon your forehead in the presence of your superiors. The same holds
for FMS-database altitudes assigned to fixes. Because feet and meters dont convert nicely, there
are odd figures all over the flight plan like 3490ft or 1620ft. The FOs have been taught to
expend a considerable amount of energy seeking and destroying these numbers, changing them
to 3500ft and 1600ft respectively (yeah, lets not propose changing our system to fit in with the
rest of the world). Its curious to watch, pointless in its result and frustrating to contemplate.
Lastly, you have to make sure you double-check everything the FO programs into the
computers. I had hounded them not to do things so quickly time and time again, but I was always
met with resistance and a sidelong glance that says, The poor foreigner is not proficient and a
bad pilot (oh boy, they are also horrendous at body language which reveals them in an
instant). Ive caught a lot of mistakes

May your higher power smile upon you with favor and never expose you to this in China. Read on, read on.

I believe every single foreign pilot (or possibly any foreigner working here to some
extent) will get burned at some point. It seems to be in the nature of doing business here.
Money talks and they have a lot of it. But they don't realize yet that it will backfire
eventually. Our cultures and priorities are simply too different. They are a newly opened
country, coming for food stamps not so long ago, applying capitalism to its highest level
now. To them money is the only important thing, as they never had it and now they can
work like slaves and get a lot of it. To us, it is important but most of us need a balanced
life. And working 14h a day 6 days a week (in this horrible environment) is just not
compatible. The problem is they need us. We are already making concession by coming
here, they should realize applying their rule doesn't work in dealing with us. Eventually,
at least in our branch, when aviation starts again in the West, people will not come here
anymore. Also, on the bigger picture, their land is getting ultra-polluted, soon they can't
grow anything, soon they will need to import more and more, they will start being
dependent, and they will be screwed... Wait and see. It might not take long. Then they will
need to take a long good look at their society and evolve or collapse... unless its too late.
Then there will be war.
Anyway we could talk about this forever but I'm sure there are already many books on
the subject.
Capt. Anon.

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Race and Racism?

Theres a meme above on page 27 that makes a pretty extreme claim regarding race and
China. Keep in mind that while in China the only black people I met taught ESL English or were
there acting as basketball coaches. And I didnt meet many. There are many articles on the
internet regarding race and China and they run the gamut. Check it out no matter what color your
skin is, it may add some perspective to whats been going on in the US especially during 2014.
Aside from attitudes, what you will not face as a foreigner minority in China is any kind
of physical violence unless youre a Uighur who wants religious freedom or independence from
Beijing or if youre pursuing a skirt with whom the locals dont want you to associate (which
is all of em). That being said, youll be lucky to land an airline gig if youre not white and male.
http://chineseculture.about.com/library/weekly/aa_racist02a.htm

http://www.tealeafnation.com/2013/07/chinese-raciality-and-black-reality-in-china/

Myself, I experienced endless stares and running commentary that would erupt as Id
walk down any random street. Move out of the cities and youre going to see a commensurate
increase in attention that makes you feel like a zoo animal. To add to this, I heard the story of a
white English teacher who narrowly escaped being jumped by some local thugs in Tianjin when
they saw him with a Chinese girl. I met some other English teachers, one from India, who
complained about the condescending attitude they were often confronted with from local Chinese.
I also met a black teacher who was fed up with Chinese insensitivity. Id go so far as to say that
the average Chinese are as polite as the government tells them to be to your face, and then rag on
you behind your back. White, Black or Green it aint as easy being in China as its made out to
be. Try getting a cab
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_issues_in_China
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinocentrism

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http://www.tealeafnation.com/2013/07/chinese-raciality-and-black-reality-in-china/

Now, am I claiming anything special about America and our experience with race in this
chapter? No, and we clearly have little to say given whats been happening in New York,
Ferguson or other instances too numerous to list and beyond the scope of this discussion. What I
AM saying here is that if you are not white and not male, your chances of landing a flying job in
China and especially at Tianjin are very very very slim. If you insist, put your app in. Dont be
surprised or disappointed if youre turned down. If you do make it by some miracle, youll
survive long enough to earn some good cash and then get the hell out. Or, maybe it will be a very
positive experience, a relief from the out-of-control tensions in the US and a good mid-term gig
for you. Im leaving that door wide open for discussion.

Getting a Cab in China

Ready to get pissed off in a nano-second again? Try hailing a cab in the afternoon,
morning any time of the day, have 20 pass you by never stopping, and do so in the rain or
extreme heat and humidity, or how about drunk as a skunk. Its super fun. Then when you finally
DO get a cab, youll have the pleasing experience of the driver not wanting to take you where
you want to go and force you out onto the street again. Most cabs are cigarette-ash laden, bodyodor smelling, pissed-on-seat equipped and grime-slathered-surface sporting. Many have
jimmied meters so you end up paying double what the ride should cost, and most will try to take
the long-way-round to get you where you want to go.
Then theres the honking, maniacal driving at 20mph, cell phone answering and talking
Hotel California blaring Have fun with all of that.

Page | 42

China and Sexism

I mentioned white and male above. Unsavory as all this controversy may be, lets
take a look at the gender part now. China fails the gender equality test where the most basic of
human rights comes into play, the right to be born.
http://middlekingdomlife.com/adjustment/china-sexism-in-the-workplace-t402.html

Yeah, good luck with that, Western ladies of aviation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_infanticide_in_China
China has a history of female infanticide spanning 2000 years. Infanticide has been practiced
worldwide since antiquity for the purpose of population control, but what was unique in China is that an
overwhelming majority of the victims were girls.
When Christian missionaries arrived in China in the late sixteenth century, they noticed the
practice of female infanticide, and witnessed newborns being thrown into rivers or onto rubbish piles. In
the seventeenth century Matteo Ricci documented that the practice occurred in several of China's
provinces and said that the primary reason for the practice was poverty.
The census of 1990 showed a sex ratio of 1.066, a normal sex ratio should be about 1.02. The
main reason for the discrepancy is sex selective abortion.
During the 19th century female infanticide was practiced in the majority of China's provinces. The
practice declined precipitously during the Communist era, but has reemerged as an issue since the
introduction of the one-child policy in the early 1980s.

http://www.gendercide.org/case_infanticide.html
"Female infanticide is the intentional killing of baby girls due to the
preference for male babies and from the low value associated with the
birth of females."
the World Health Organization's Regional Committee for the Western
Pacific issued a report claiming that "more than 50 million women were
estimated to be 'missing' in China because of the institutionalized killing
and neglect of girls..."
Farah referred to the gendercide as the biggest single holocaust in
human history.
In 1999 a study by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, claiming that "the imbalance between the
sexes is now so distorted that there are 111 million men in China who will not be able to find a wife."
How heartbreakingly sad is this?
Page | 43

OK, China and Organ Harvesting

If you think its starting to get a little surreal in here let me assure you that I feel that way.
But this is totally on the level. Investigations are ongoing right now (as of 3 rd Quarter 2014) into
allegations of involuntary organ harvesting in China. This means that surgeons of some shape
and description are hacking open victims (patients) and taking out organs without their
permission

Let that sink in a minute.

http://www.stoporganharvesting.org/
Now, am I saying YOU are in particular danger of being clobbered over the head only to
wake up hours later with a kidney missing? Naw, maybe not. Probably not. Does it mean that if
you are in a serious accident and require medical attention that youll be missing a limb when
you come out of the hospital? Maybe, but it would more likely be due to ineptness on the
doctors part than harvesting.
But, what I AM saying with certainty is that this IS the culture and mentality within
which you will be working. This kind of widespread hush-hush brutality is part of the
CULTURE and it will be lurking behind every decision they make, every judgment they make.
Just sayin

On a totally unrelated note, does anyone know someone looking to buy a male leg, ages
32 to 47? Ebay keeps closing my account. Hardly been used condition Bueller? Damn hippie
clerk? Spanish tiles?

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Introduction; Airliney Stuff

You know, the lady with the whip

Lets start this section out with some scenario running and wargaming. Youre likely
reading this book because youve had a seed planted in your head about the riches and glory of
going to fly in China. And heres the deal: youre probably a regional pilot at a dumpy little (big)
regional who has just upgraded to the left seat of a commuter jet (CRJ200900, EMB145,
170/190) and gotten your first taste of a Captains paycheck. Its stakey, way better than FO pay,
but does it taste good and you want MORE. Youve just accrued 250 to 500 hours jet PIC under
your belt (slugging it out with weather along the Atlantic seaboard or some such) which satisfies
the minimums to apply for some of these foreign carriers. You decide to focus on China because
youve been lured by the money. So, you put in: the time is now!
Despite your limited experience, they take you because they have been desperate for
pilots for years due to the fact that theyre rapidly building a massive modern air transport
system from scratch. They havent been able to get the numbers they need/want because A) they
have no general aviation to speak of since the PLA (military) owns all the airspace and raising a
sector of the population capable of such a complex hobby is counter-productive to the partys
goal of keeping the masses in line and easily ruled; and B) its widely known by the
professionals in the West how completely messed up their country and system is and dont want
to go. Think about it for a minute: this is why they are offering such ludicrous wages, period.
In the back of your mind this China idea begins to develop into a long term gig because if
you could pull 7 years youre in the realm of a million bucks. Great; but, when you lay boots on
ground in country, the reality of it hits you. Suddenly youre life becomes dodging bullets
without any support or knowledge base to speak of. You begin living paycheck to paycheck for
that little adrenaline high that keeps you going and youre now praying you can last a year or two.
Lets say you last 3; when you do finally bang out for whatever reason and make your way back
to the real world (the West), you put in your resume with a real carrier. Of course you dont put
in with some dumpy regional; youll never be able to go back to one of those because youve
been a top earner on the damned planet for the history of aviation in the aircraft type youve
been flying (CRJ 200900, EMB 145, 170/190).
Now youre waiting for someone to give you an interview and you wait and you wait.
Suddenly, it dawns on you and you start praying they arent interpreting the time that you were
in China as a major drag on your knowledge and experience. These recruiters arent stupid: they
know whats going on. They know that while youve been in China your knowledge has slid,
your skills have slid, your judgment has slid. They know how fucked up the system is over there,
and that its human nature to adjust and adapt to cope. So, when they see your resume on their
desk, you can bet this is what theyre thinking and youre moved to the alternate pile if youre
lucky.
It all really boils down to this: if you want to retire as an airline pilot at a major/legacy
carrier sitting in the left seat of big iron with a big retirement 401k or the like, taking a few years
off to be a contract pilot in China is not a good stepping stone. Your experience will not grow
commensurate with Western flight deck ideologies, your skills will drift based on idiotic training
hammered into you by a bunch of monkeys, and you will ultimately find that the shining
reputation you were diligently working on at that dumpy little regional back home has become
tarnished. Really, the only way around this is to have permission for a LOA: DONT FALL
INTO THAT URGE TO RESIGN, DUDE. In this case, when you return stateside you can walk
right back into a seniority number and scrape off the barnacle-ism China undoubtedly has been
growing on your wings. Even still, its a risky proposition and Id hope you wouldnt dishonestly
claim a family emergency or some such to get the LOA etc. etc.
Page | 46

Complications
Lets break of a little piece and get into it. There seems to be this very primal idea in
China that can be expressed with the following language:
1. your work as an airline pilot (i.e. the stuff you do on deck) should be super difficult; and
2. if you arent task saturated you arent earning your money.

I suppose its an assumption that comes from being the elite of the country (which is no
particular joy for a Westerner BTW). Taking into account the two tiers of their society: the elite
and everyone else, you are somehow fending off the billions of (communist ideology infused)
rank-and-file who want your job, your life and your identity. Its really awkward.
The way this manifests itself on deck is as I mentioned above: there is the propensity for
an extremely complex workload intense environment. Now, granted there are times when the
workload is just going to be high; its a fact of life were all accustomed with and have been
trained to engage properly. Sterile cockpit, SOP, CRM and a plethora of other stuff has all been
designed in the West to streamline the actual button-pressing, yoke-wielding duties on deck of
your modren jet transport airplane.
In China, SOP is for cramming as many activities into a unit of time possible. CRM is for
the captain to be an autocrat (or the FO to test the boundaries if you try and employ real CRM).
Sterile cockpit is for the birds, and the plethora of other stuff we Westerners preach is a bunch of
whatever that nobody really cares about. As you can imagine, this has a significant impact on
your level of risk assumption Here is a perfect example of how this ideology has reared its ugly
head [we will be covering this topic again as we go along]:
First, an excerpt from the EMB190 SOP manual:
2.11 Fuel Monitoring
2. Flight crew should ensure that the fuel is balanced between tanks at all times.
2.13 Fuel Balancing
1. The Fuel Balancing Limitation and subsequent EICAS Caution Message are there
primarily to increase the life and safeguard the structural integrity of the aircraft
fuselage as opposed to being an aircraft controllability issue.
Here we can see an instituted example of making the job more complex than it needs to
be. FOs are terrified of having unbalanced tanks, and will initiate balancing if theyre 50kg off.
Why? Because the instructors have hammered this policy into them: they dont know what the
shit theyre doing and neither do the company leaders have a clue. Instead of reserving valuable
attention for flight critical duties and observations, were now focusing on the insignificant and
thereby obscuring the important stuff in a morass of half-assed flailing about that has the
appearance of being busy and therefore proper. I hope this pisses you off as much as it does me.
BE CAREFUL.
Ed. note: You can always tell the bullshit because its the stuff that they forget about a month or two later which
brings up the questions as to why they called attention to it to begin with and being that its short-lived in
its implementation and wastes a bunch of energy and morale why they insist on the policy of policing the
bullshit to begin with. The problems is that they dont pay attention to the important stuff either. This Is
China (TIC). Love it.
Page | 47

Now for the story:

CA APU
So there we were at Nanchung, boarded with a full boatload of peeps and gassed up to go.
We were delayed of course (but only about 5 minutes past our normal push time at this point), so
I decided to go use the head. The second officer vacated the jumpseat and opened the cockpit
door. I hopped out and slammed the lav shut for a little quality me time. A few moments later, in
the middle of a narcissistic male grooming moment, the lights went out and the music stopped.
Emergency light streamed under the crevice of the door. Shit, what now God dammit.
I opened the lav door and the passenger cabin was already bedlam. I entered the flight
deck and messages were flipping all over the EICAS screen.
What happened guys?
I dont know captain, the APU just stopped.
What do you mean it just stopped?
The APU just stopped sir.
OK, stop calling me sir. Is there a fault? The FO was busy clicking the Warning/Caution
cancel buttons. Dude, stop hitting those, we need to see if there is an APU fault message.
After scrolling through several pages of faults I couldnt find anything salient. Hmmmm.
Guys, what happened?
I dont know captain.
It was at this moment that I looked at the APU panel on the overhead: the selector knob was OFF.
Did you just select OFF on this panel up here?
No captain.
You guys didnt select OFF?
No.
No.
THEN WHY IS IT OFF?
Oh, captain, I think we bumped it when you got out of your seat.
=BULLSHIT= There is no way that knob will move if you bump it; its designed with a nice
deep, solid detent in the ON position.
So, we powered the APU back up and reset all the FMS stuff that had dropped out. I had
the FO make a passenger announcement that we had a computer error that we needed to reset
and everything was fine. Then (and I hated this part the most) I decided to walk to the back of
the airplane to see what the passenger situation really was. I got a number of hard stares (yeah
yeah yeah) but lived to tell the tale.
My best guess was that the FO/SO decided to
balance the fuel (or stop balancing it) and grabbed
the APU selector knob instead of the cross-feed knob
(theyre right next to each other in the EMB190 and
look identical; besides, the Chinese never verify what
switch they throw). See? You make your job
unnecessarily complex and you expose yourself to
unnecessary chances to screw up. As it was, I never
heard anything about it from the home office, but I
do chalk it up to a bullet dodged.
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Right-Seat Captains and Captain-Sitting Right Seat

In the good ol West weve spent a long time and a lot of effort discovering the best
configuration for the boundaries of professional behavior and conduct on the flight deck. Weve
grouped a whole bunch of this research and development under the rubric CRM, and its resulted
in leveling the cockpit and empowering first officers to speak up when they see something wrong.
Its a beautiful system invented by United Airlines that has spurred a major trend in improving
safety through teamwork, and its been adopted by numerous other sectors of endeavor from
medicine to manufacturing.
In China, the CRM concept has been twisted and perverted into a horrendous monster.
FOs have been given an inch and taken a mile. You will experience this from the get-go when,
sitting on the flight deck, a flurry of communication occurs in Chinese and you are left out of the
loop. Even after inquiring what it was that ATC (or whomever) asked, or the purser was talking
about, or operations was relaying, you will have an uncomfortable feeling of being out of control.
This is part and parcel your experience as a contract pilot in China.
Now, you can try to learn the language on your own dime, but realize that the
undertaking youve just accepted is massive: Chinese is the most difficult of languages to learn
on the planet along with Arabic. Unlike Spanish which is pretty friendly for English speakers,
its going to take a lifetime of weekends to get Chinese under your belt, even immersed in the
culture as one is as a contract jock. You will pick up a few phrases here and there, but forget
about holding conversations or operating at large. Unless youre good at that sort of thing that is,
in which case, good on ya still, its a tough nut to crack and you wont be speaking
conversationally any time soon.
Continuing on, you will lose count of the times the FO sets headings/altitudes without
you calling for them; they will request diversions from ATC without consulting you; they will
accept clearances without discussing them with you; they will basically take over the show and if
you try to regain that control, well lets just say its an uphill battle. There is no such thing as
Pro-Standards like we have in the US. If you have a problem, really the only arrow in your
quiver is to have the FO removed from the flight. This is a difficult proposition too if youre
away from a base, and no matter what, it marks you as the troublesome foreigner captain who
cant get along. Remember, this is an emerging 3 rd-world country where nepotism is alive and
well. Given that, can you guess who is likely sitting next to you? What are the chances that FO is
a) the family member or lovechild of some high-up company leader, b) a decorated ex-military
robot or c) the offspring of a party member (i.e. the government)? So yeah, have that guy
removed for whatever reason (nevertheless legit) and you are going to have a black star next to
your name. And payback is a bitch. Sucks huh?
But, can you imagine these conditions when it comes time to sit in the right seat as FO
for a new captain? Oh, nobody told you youre going to sit right seat from time to time? Oh!
Well, its a practice that goes in and out of style (probably depending on how many local guys
are coming through the upgrade pipeline), and its a wonderful experience to sit in the right seat
next to a guy who has no concept of CRM and will leave you hanging onto the tail-feathers of
the aircraft. Its unclear whether or not if that captain gets a hard-warning QAR (see below for
the friendly discussion about QARs) it will land on your epaulettes as well. Ive been told its not
your problem, but you can imagine thats just a bunch of Chinese bullshit right there. So, not
only will you be completely out of control, you can be pretty sure you will be responsible when
the other guy fucks it up and he will. Sounds like fun huh?

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The last wrinkle here is new captain training when you have a captain sitting right seat
for you. This is also gonna suck. Fall back on your training (from the West) and just fly the
airplane when it comes to it. Remember the fact that captain-on-captain pairing carries a number
of hidden dangers, complacency being among them, and an accident at China Southern is a
perfect example of this. In 2011 a CS airbus 320 experienced low altitude windshear on approach
and nearly crashed. The CAAC claims that their airspeed was 90 knots at one point, but we all
know what accident reporting is like in China. Apparently they skimmed the treetops and ended
up with some branches in their landing gear, but again who really knows? We are told that the
two-captain-crew had trouble advancing the thrust to go around and delayed their decision to
initiate the maneuver a significant amount of time. So, theres that. Think they both got slammed
by the CAAC? It depends on whether or not they are connected.

Dude, They Arent Allowed To Fly?!? We Have To Get Outta Here!

Did I mention that the FOs in China are not
allowed to touch the controls unless they are flying with
an instructor? (By that, I mean a Chinese instructor, not
you.) The intent here of course is that YOU by God will fly
every leg for the rest of your career the entire time you
work for a Chinese company in China like Tianjin Airlines.
Take a nice long deep breath and get over it. Now, having
said that, a lot of the guys do let the FOs take over above
10k and some of the naughtier captains have even let them
take-off and land. Tsk tsk tsk! You are really pushing your
luck doing this and there are some stories below detailing
exactly why and how scary it can get. Yes. Scary.
Spilling the beans up front there were at least 4 hard landings to speak of right off the bat
that occurred when foreign captains allowed FOs to have the controls. Oh, whats a hard landing
you ask? Whats a QAR you ask? Ive already mentioned them once, and the joys of this policy
await a nice sit-down we have to talk chat below. Of course, in the West we pretty much
wouldnt give a shit how hard the landing was as long as you didnt strike the damned tail and
piss off the passengers too badly. But, one of these 4 is supposedly the company record at TJ for
g-force on landing. Be sure that an award was issued and accolades were sung.
A couple of these captains confirmed that the FOs were chasing the glide-slope signal
right down to the runway and not flaring at all; yup, thatll do it! Ive experimented with letting
them land as well, and watched them out of the corner of my eye: they stare at the PFD all the
way down to the pavement. No wonder! Who is teaching these poor kids to do this? These FOs
werent new guys either. Some of them had a lot more than 1000 hours of experience and more
than 2 years flying. I dont know? Well, apparently its company policy that if you do have such
an event it disqualifies you from transitioning to the Airbus from the EMB190 or to the EMB190
from the EMB145. Well, that sucks too.
Now ya know, you dont realize it until you come to China, but sharing the flying 50/50
actually has an interesting effect on your flying skills whether you are in the left seat or the right
seat. I cant count the number of times back in the US when a CA I flew with as an FO or FO I
flew with as a CA started a healthy little competition to see who could fly/land better. Weve all
done it; and whats more, weve all jokingly charged that proverbial 6-pack when the other pilot
Page | 50

pranged it on (or missed a radio call, or made a passenger address over ATC frequency etc). I
didnt realize this for a long time in China until I flew with a kid who had a little skill and I let
him take the controls. After a few landings I realized he had the knack, so I let him fly more.
Finally I found myself musing about the old days, and I made some of the best landings I had
made in a long time. I think theres something to it, a little healthy competition.

Yeah Riker, shut up. We want to hear what Duke has to say about it without you chiming in every 2 seconds.
And stop looking at my damned awesome breaking bad TCAS groin.

Flying Around With No APU

OK, so there I was flying the Airbus around China with no APU. We had bleed air off it,
just no generator. It was fine in Tianjin, everything pretty much went according to plan. Then we
arrived at the outstation: chaos. We pulled up to the gate, set the brake and killed #1. Ground
began fumbling with the GPU: nothing. They fumbled some more: still nothing. There was a
major fault in the system logic that just wasnt showing on ECAM and the buses wouldnt switch
over. So, after about 30 minutes of this I killed #2 and we went dark and silent.
Finally the jet bridge attached and popped open the door. Maintenance came aboard and
did some more fumbling. Still nothing. Passengers were getting off the cold, lifeless form of our
broken-down shit It took a good 2 hours to get it sorted out and yes, Skytrax says Tianjin is
4-stars!

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Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Guys on Deck

One of the more uncomfortable things flying around China in the
EMB145 or EMB190 is that you will have 3 men on deck at all times (the
Airbus is a little roomier on deck so its a tad more accommodating for 3
guys). There will be you, of course, an FO (F3 level or higher) and a student
or second FO in the jump-seat (or maybe a translatoryes, a translator for
the guy in the right seat who might not be able to speaking Engrish).
When both FOs are qualified to sit in the right seat theyll usually switch up halfway
through the day (actually none of them are really qualified because they arent allowed to touch
the controls and mess it all up when they do, but I digress). You have to be careful because
sometimes theyll try to pull a fast one and sneak an F1 or F2 into the right seat. Great job guys.
A couple of the foreign captains have actually been anointed to fly around with only 1 FO.
Ive done it once or twice, but the thing that sucks about it is that now you have to carry one of
the 2 additional flight kits around which are a PITA. So, its either schlep around two chart cases
or realize that its nice to have a little gofer who will do shit for you when you ask him in
addition to carrying the extra books. OK, fine, whatever.
Now, apparently, one of the functions of having a low-time guy sit in the jump-seat is for
on-the-job-training; thousands upon thousands of hours and years of on-the-job-training that is.
This is the companys perspective I guess. But, there really isnt enough for 3 guys to do on the
deck of a modren aeroplane, so the odd man out tends to just get in the way all the time. Hell
make callouts for you, run checklists for you comment on your landings just be generally
annoying as all hell.
Now, you will see the more seasoned FOs teaching the newer guys all kinds of stuff all
the time (in rapid-fire Chinese so you wont pick any of it up no matter how hard you try to get
the hang of the Chinese language). The problem with this hand-me-down knowledge of course is
that its the blind leading the blind in many cases, and this is how rumor, myth and speculation
becomes hard and fast fact and practice: I heard so-and-so said such-and-such which must be
right because several other guys say this is the case as well. I guess I probably dont have to
bewail the reasons why its so important for formal instructors to give formal instruction in
formal settings thats standardized by regular, formal instructors meetings with a formal chief
instructor and what happens when this kind of formal, quasi-apprenticeship organization is
undermined. OK, Ill bewail: it becomes a freakin mess.

Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Four Guys on Deck

A last word on occupy-flight-deck: one of the more interesting
things Ive ever seen in my flying career besides 3 guys on deck (of
whom 1 is not jump-seating or line checking etc) is 4 pilots sitting in 3
seats up front (not in the Airbus of course, which has 4 seats up front). I
had to accept this complete violation of the rules once during my initial
training, and Ive since taken it upon myself to flat-out deny 2 other
guys on separate occasions who were really pushy, trying to sit on the floor behind my seat. The
jump-seater situation that happened during my training was actually a CAAC guy who did squat
down behind my seat at the insistence of the instructor. On the other 2 occasions I was not
surprised that the guys had similar stories regarding a sick wife/child in the hospital and the
situation being imperative that they get home on my flight. Piss off, silly wankers. Elsewhere
around the halls Ive heard of guys getting in trouble for having someone hiding in the bathroom
Page | 52

or occupying a cabin crew seat (the latter of which may not be so bad if we knew the actual
regulations and company policy).
Ed. note: Ahem in regards to jumpseaters hiding in the bathroom:

Rub-a-Dub Dub, Theres a Guy Riding in the Bathroom?

So I lied, it wasnt the last word on occupy flight deck. Weve had several reports of
jumseaters riding in the bathroom. One of the more egregious examples happened when a
foreign Captain refused to allow the jumpseater to ride on deck; of course he refused, there are
only 3 seats up front in that particular airframe where is the 4th guy going to strap in so his
body isnt a projectile in the event of a crash? Where is his oxygen mask? Where is his flotation
device, etc.? Why are these guys requesting to sit up front in light of the fact that the jumpseat is
known to be occupiedo?(Maybe because they get away with it all the time?) Furthermore, how
does the Captain verify the jumpseaters status and employment? Its all a mess
The comeback this particular Captain got from the FO was, Oh Captain, he can ride in
the bathroom instead. Now this is just amazingly retarded nonetheless because the FO rattled
if off like it was no big deal. The Captain was speechless of course and stamped the idea with a
nice, big and red foreign Captain FUCK NO stamp. To this answer he was met with the
rejoinder, But the company leaders do it all the time, Captain.
OK, now, besides the deep and glaring problems presented by reading between the lines
of this statement, the request in and of itself was already not going to fly I dont care who does it.
The FO of course knew that by saying this he was now pressuring the Captain to do something
he had already made a decision not to do. Can you believe this audacity? (Again, can you see the
problem here with the FOs fighting against other decisions the Captain makes like diverting, not
diverting, going around etc.). Anyhow, it was clearly and un-confusingly pronounced NOT
approved.
So, what do you think the Captain did when he saw this individual through his side
window with a broad smile exiting the aircraft and hopping on the passenger bus
after they arrived at their destination?

What would YOU have done sir?

Sleeping on Deck
Bring a pillow, theres going to be a shit-load of sleeping going on in flight. Over.
Ed. note: More on this particular topic laaaaterrr.
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Smokey Smokey on Deck

Before the foreign captains made a stink about smoking on deck, it was done with
aplomb and panache. I even did it a couple of times for shits; its overrated. Now that the word
has gone out that the practice is frowned upon for the most part in more civilized parts of the
world, smoking in flight has become a thing only the company leaders enjoy. This is worse in
many ways and sends a horrible message. Guess who has become super popular now that the
rank-and-file has lost the privilege to light up? Guess who is constantly asking the Captain for
permission to smoke? Guess who gets to make the decision on that one? Decide one way: youre
a dick and now the FOs begrudge cooperating with you and the flight deck has just become that
much more complicated. Decide another way: youre jeopardizing your J.O.B. by violating
company policy.
Cigarette smoking is linked to a number of diseases. Lung cancer is most famously
associated, but tobacco smoking causes cancers of the head and neck (mouth, throat,
sinuses), esophagus, stomach, kidney, pancreas, bladder, uterine cervix and even certain
types of leukemia. Fourteen different cancers in all are caused by smoking. Smoking
also causes chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, such as bronchitis and emphysema. It
worsens asthma. Smoking is linked to high blood pressure, ulcers, osteoporosis, diabetes
and reproductive disorders such as infertility, miscarriage and premature menopause.
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/20/how-quickly-does-lung-cancer-develop-for-smokers/
So, if you smoke, please stop. We need all the able bodies we got to fend off these
Chinese in the future.

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Farting on Deck
There are no social morays against flatulence in China. The FOs will crack ass at will
and its gonna reek because they eat some messed up shit in China. Some progress has been
made on this front, but expect to inhale plenty of smelly farts. (Did somebody step on a rotting
duck???) This mentality holds for coughing, belching and bad breath as well, and even coming
to work sick. FOs will give you the flu more than once; theres really no policy for calling in
sick at Tianjin Airlines. The last contract for foreigners had provisions for sick days, but thats
long gone; you can only imagine what the locals have to endure. So what do you do when youre
sick? Work, or lose money, you chose.

I'll wager this happens on Delta flight decks all the time.

So yeah, on a related note, youll also see plenty of people doing fancy-pants stuff like
pissing on the sides of roads and even children pissing on the floors in shopping centers under
their parents careful supervision. Youll see people picking their noses deeply and thoroughly as
though it were no big deal. Youll see people full-on sleeping at work. Youll see professionals
in professional settings with their shirts pulled up across their chests, pants legs rolled up to their
knees Youre gunna see (and smell) a lot of really fun human-animal kind of stuff so just be
prepared for it. I guess you could say its the little differences that get ya
For those of you assholes who thought I was being cute and funny about the farting thing,
here is an excerpt from their medical safety exam you take during your 24-month recurrent
emergency training:

I guess rat fetuses and piss eggs are OK though (ohoh, Im giving it away! Read on!)

Cute? Funny? Try saying that after youve had a healthy nostril-fill of some good ol
down home, extra-meaty Chinese flatulence. Theres a reason this question is on the exam boys.
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Activities on Deck
The Chinese FOs are horrendously undisciplined and impatient. I swear to god, if there is
a task that needs doing and it isnt accomplished in a nanosecond, Mao is going to know about it
and upon thee he shall frown. So, after you land, expect the FO to run the flow with the
nosewheel still on the centerline. As you taxi in, hell probably be running the after shutdown
flow and finger-banging the FMS. A mention of runway/taxiway incursions tends to stem the
tide momentarily, but Chinese habits are tough to break and it doesnt last long when you seem
to make progress. Its because the damn instructors are teaching them to do this shit.
On the other hand, taxiing out is considered break time. FOs get in a quick chat, make a
few phone calls, maybe play a game or two on the iPad. Have fun with all of that, foreigner!

climbto2700metershydraulicsystem2failturnrightheading340gearupholyshitengine1fireandseparationPFDfailand
theFOisrunningthewrongchecklistatmach5 what am I DOING here?

Are you ready for a Chinese checkride dude?

Death Breath on Deck

I dont know what it is about the Chinese and bad breath, but God dammit can we please
get these people some mints? Starbucks is a good start, but those little tins you can buy at the
register are just not enough for crying out loud. We need some industrial strength shit over
here Ludens or something. And, this is a particularly distressing condition to have to weather
when youre in the sim, what with all the callouts and heavy breathing associated with simulating
crashing and dying in an Arthur Brown nightmare every 5 minutes. What Ive gathered is that
they all love to go out and chow down on dumplings and garlic-infused vinegar the night before.
Um, waiter, this FO has gone rancid, can I have another one please? Hell, I dont really care
what it is theyre eating; the result is someone who reeks from the pie-hole as though they have a
dead animal tucked away back in there behind the tongue.
OK, so there I was flying right seat in China for a new captain. He was a pretty bad stick,
as they tend to be over there anyhow, his landing was so bad it actually hurt my neck
when we impacted the runway. He was PIC so I gave exactly zero shits about the QAR.
Capt. Anon.
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Throat Clearing
OK. Fresh from dead animals in someones mouth Its petty, but if garbage, feces,
pollution and any of a host of other disgusting features werent enough to turn ya on, theres
always throat clearing to add to the friggin list. Someone told me once that Chinese lore
provides that loogies are evil spirits that must be discharged from the body without ceremony (or
perhaps rejected as ostentatiously as possible to announce to the world that you are indeed
conquering the snot devil at this very moment). Before too long, you will encounter multiple
targets raking their throats vigorously and spitting it on the ground/floor, on a wall in some
hallway or on some convenient place in an elevator (yes elevators have convenient places for
you to spit your snot onto, you just havent noticed before). I was having dinner once and some
asshole at another table made an especially rambunctious display for all of the other restaurant
patrons; I threw my chopsticks at him and almost started a fight. Symmetrically disgusting
behaviors? You decide.

Somebody call the Pope.

There are a million different ways to skin a cat. The Chinese choose the method whereby
you jam a stick of dynamite up pussys ass and light its tail on fire: Zoiks! Ouch! BOOM!
Capt. Anon.

Or just thought maybe he was exaggerating

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So, Tell Me, What IS Abnormal Situation?

OK, we will tell you. Or better yet, well let Tianjin tell you:

Excerpted from Abnormal Situation Operating Procedures and Communications [company publication]

Let that list sink in for a minute. Notice in particular how items like #7. Hijack and #8.
Inflight Fire are grouped with things like #12. Communication Failure and #21. Go-around.
This should begin to illustrate how the concept, I will go there to fly their jets the way

they want them flown and just collect my paycheck is on a collision course with reality.

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Confusion Shall Be My Epitaph

Throughout the notices excerpted herein, please keep an eye out for language like
strictly follow and emphasize company policy etc. Youre going to see these
phrases appealed to over and over; yet, at the same time, sometimes even in the same company
issued document, youre going to find stuff like this:

7/2013 Chief Pilot Advisory issued by Chee Bow Yee.

So, what is it? Be strict or be flexible? Fly the airplane to the QAR standards or operate it
naturally, mindful of factory limitations? This kind of confusion, this kind of having your cake
and eating it too mentality is quintessentially Chinese. They want the best of all worlds over
there and they want to incessantly browbeat you with what they want and how they want it. Its
frustrating, demoralizing and dangerous.
To wit:
To all EMB145 pilots:
The notice is delivered to standardize aircraft control transfer; all pilots are required to study
and follow.
I. Instructor should keep in mind the weather condition and instructor should control aircraft in
complicated weather condition.
II. If large deviation happens to student pilot and it is difficult to correct, instructor should call
out "my control immediately and loudly and take over control of aircraft and power. It is prohibited to
use blur wording, such as "follow you", "your control, my power" etc.;
III. It is prohibited for two pilots to control aircraft at the same time. Only one pilot is allowed to
control aircraft, the requirement for another pilot to follow control is just for in case of incapacitation of
flying pilots, or timely correction may be reached in case of significant deviation happens; it does not
mean that two pilots can control aircraft simultaneously.
Effective date: Aug. 16th of 2013
Expiration date: Aug. 16th of 2014
Hereby notified.

Flt. Dept of Tianjin Airlines

( 0 )

2013 8 23
Issued on Aug.23th of 2013
Written by: Liu Dawei Checked by: Wang Jinliang

So, its prohibited for two pilots to control the aircraft at the same time, but two pilots can
control the aircraft at the same time? WHAT?!?!?!?
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Friggin Retards
Ive mentioned the habit of the Chinese to do things that arent particularly smart in
regards to professionalism on deck like choosing not to follow the manufacturer
recommendations for various things. Heres a nice addition to that list. The dipschits, being that
they dont like the cold or any kind of blowing air for that matter, fold up sic-sac bags or
newspapers and stuff them into various vents on the flight deck. The EMB190 has the side
window vents plugged up along with the instrument cooling vent above the pilots knees just
under the main panel. The other planes have various duct outlets jammed with paper products
and the like. Have fun with that.

I was flying with a Chinese captain who made a landing so hard it actually hurt my
neck; I had to check the stress bolts on tires to see if any broke off!
Capt. Anon.

Ed. note: Things are starting to heat up in here. We dont have information on whether Captain Anon in the quote
above was fined for the hard landing.
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It is exactly this kind of browbeating and much ado about insignificance that leads to the
snap reactions the FOs display by and large at Tianjin Airlines. Whether its jumping on the
controls when you encounter a bump or hanging from the ceiling when you point out that what
their instructor taught them is not SOP, or commensurate with airmanship, or bounded in reality,
you are going to be put to an enormous test every time you set foot on deck. Are you
experiencing a little jumpiness yourself? GET OUTTA THERE!
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Pants Tent et al
The Chinese have different body proportions to Westerners, no new
information there (for us at least). The problem is that the uniforms are all
fitted and styled to your average, classic Chinese man so they arent really
going to fit you if you dont fit that description. They never fit me. I always
felt like a marshmallow going to work, shirt ballooning out at the waste and
pants that just wouldnt hang right. When you sit, the crotchal area of the
unform poofs up into an enormous pants tent, the envy of awkward dressers
the world around. Im surprised the Chinese dont wear their slacks around
their armpits sometimes. No wait Ive seen that actually. Forgot I had that
base covered. So anyhow, I got everything tailored and the rest is history. It kindof worked out.
Then theres the company logo, or at least the previous
company logo, that consisted of a decapitated
Mickey Mouse unceremoniously painted yellow
and fitted with a ridiculous cartoon dragon head:
China dragon, get it? A real Micky Mouse
operation for ya. China dragon was their original
radio call-sign, one of the last vestiges of the now
defunct Grand China Express, which I thought
was actually pretty badass until I realized its
China draggin. Theyve changed it anyhow to
Bohai in honor of the polluted cesspool bay that makes up the port of Tanggu
on the eastern reaches of the greater Tianjin area. So there you have itas a
Yeah, these pants
side-sidebar, Ive been told that supposedly you can get hot Russian girls on
fit great.
the cheap in Tanggu, the Bohai port city.
So, yes, this dumbass logo has graced the big ol rudder, wallpaper and center of their
pilots wings. Brilliant huh? You could imagine feeling like the captain of Steamboat Willie
going to work with those horrendous, flashy gold wings pinned above the breast pocket of a
billowing shirt that juz dun fit righ. The new company logo isnt much better. It looks like the
silhouetted front end of an EMB190 crammed onto the profile of a volant bird whose wing is all
retarded lookin, but at least they got rid of Mickey.
Shamen airlines has a pretty cool logo Easterns is nicely stale 1970s as is big mama
China Airlines. But, as bad as the Micky-dragon has been, everyone laughs at the Capital airlines
logo which looks like a big ol barkin dog: Woof! Woof! Wed get a lot of laughs outta that one
on deck taxiing across the apron at some random airport, Look, its dog air! The Chinese kids
loved it, always good for at least a genuine snicker. Still Mickey. I dont believe TJ can ever
live that one down to be frank with you. Neither can I for that matter.
Now, dont get me started on the ridiculous cap they issue. Some
of the guys insist on wearing it; I never did because I didnt want to look
like a complete communist asshole.
Then theres the cabin crew uniform. Dont get me started on this
either! The flight attendants over there have seen a lot of variations pass
through their closets over the years from Erke brand track-and-field suits
with full-on trainer shoes (and that Nike swoosh rip-off logo) to a more
sensible taupe affair with a vest and white polo shirt paired with kneelength cheerleader-like dresses or pants and an ugly little kerchief in
Page | 62

earth tones for flair. SkyTrax #1! Ugh-ly. (Speaking of SkyTrax; somehow they gave Tianjin a 4star rating I smell a payoff. There is NO FREAKIN WAY that amateur show is a 4-star airline.
Will someone look into this matter please.)

Foreign Pilot Meetings

At Tianjin Airlines at least, you will be required to attend compulsory monthly meetings
(or face the consequences). Sometimes additional compulsory meetings are scheduled for
training or other reasons. If you miss a meeting, you will be fined (usually about 500RMB
which is about a hundred clams). In some of the more extreme cases, pilots have been threatened
with termination for not attending. In one particular instance, a newer captain had arranged for
several company leaders to attend so he could make a presentation about his concerns regarding
their extremely inefficient fuel planning policy of tankering enough gas to run the flight twice on
every sector. He got the date mixed up and flat out didnt make it. The company leaders, being
pissed off, threatened to fire him on the spot. Reconsidering, they decided instead to kill him
with a rusty hammer if he was ever absent from another meeting in the future. But seriously, he
will be fired for it. So he has that going for him, which is nice.
Its a point of contention whether or not these meetings are considered duty time. Often,
pilots attend in uniform because they have a flight departing shortly after the class is dismissed.
What you do if your duty day runs long this case is pretty much up to you, but expect some
serious arm twisting when it comes time to stand your ground. If you are one of the lucky ones
attending this meeting during a day off and have other shit to do like live your life, well fuck you,
youre still required to attend. Oh, and no they are not giving you another day off to compensate.
What if youre flying 5 days in a row? File your complaint with the receptionist and theyll get
around to considering it never.
These meetings are a complete waste of time, usually around 3 hours. A good deal of
time is spent covering notices that you must read on your own time anyhow during flight
preparation. Why the group reading? The balance is filled by the foreign pilot assistant Gaius
Baltar posing in front of the group announcing with glee all the mistakes people have been
making.
Sometimes discussions have focused on interesting stuff like CAAC accident
investigations, but a good deal of that information has panned out as preposterous party-policypounder propaganda and PLA prevarication (hey, thats asinine not assonance). Ive tried my
best to divine the real reason for these meetings, but as the French say Im at a loss(Nous
nous abandonnons). One could say, again, its a chance to spread the party line and shape up
the (foreigner) group; but, who knows. If that is the aim, it isnt really working.
One of the little perks in the early days of these meetings was that the entire attending
foreign pilot contingent was invited out to mandatory dinner afterward on the company dime;
that convention is pretty much long long gone. Sometimes the foreign pilots will meet afterward
now on their own to lament the state of Chinese aviation over a nice formaldehyde-tainted beer
at the pub and splitting headache afterward.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_in_China
Yeah, theres a page devoted to it.
Chinese media reported in 2001 that as many as 95% of all Chinese beers contained
formaldehyde
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Gosh, did someone say formaldehyde in the beer? Ha! Just because its (supposedly)
been deemed an illegal practice by the party doesnt mean jack schit in China. If you look around
the internet you keep finding reports dated a few years apart claiming the beer over there is OK.
Why? Oh, no reason. Theres no smoke, and no fire. Drink, fart and be merry citizens!

Everybody enjoying the bottle of China nation healthy cancer today!

Actually no, its more like every few years someone does some checking, finds the chemical shit
in there, makes a big stink about it and the state issues another reassurance that nothing is wrong.
Then they temporarily crack down, most likely only on exports while the domestic bottles
remain tainted. Yeah, that sounds like it scans. Enjoy not decomposing in your grave after you
die early from chemical death.
***
Hello Everyone,
Due to some unexpected company funding limitation we were told yesterday that we can not have our
scheduled party as we planned on February 4th. We will instead have a simple dinner together along with
any of your family members who would like to join us after our monthly meeting.
We will still have our Foreign Pilot Meeting this Monday, February 4th 2013 at 14:00 4th floor conference
room followed by dinner. We will try to schedule as many of you off to participate in this important event
and dinner. We have plenty of things to discuss including latest NOTICES, vacation guidelines, out station
overnights, contracts, A320 upgrades, etc.
The Foreign Pilot Center deeply regrets the cancellation of this party I know many of you were looking
forward to. We will try to make the best of it this Monday. Hope to see everyone there.
Best Regards,
XXXXXX
Ed. note: Unexpected funding limitation? Wow! Everybody had to pay their own way and nobody EVER
transitioned to the 320.

Im sorry, but my hotel key is not working? Nega?

So, there I was at a fairly decent hotel on a stopover and whatnot. My keycard for the
room had worked not 5 minutes before, but now no go. It wasnt the key, it was the electronic
door handle; it wasnt beeping or anything. So I went to the front desk. Oh boy, was that a cluster
to explain. Finally they told me, OK, OK, which is Chenglish for, Go away foreigner we
dont tolerate you. A cleaning lady followed me to my room, I demonstrated the problem and
off she scurried to get a physical key. This problem lasted for a solid day before someone had the
gall to bring a screwdriver and new battery to service the thing. I kinda wish the screwdriver had
way more vodka and OJ, but hey.
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OKAY debating? Yes, a clear case of a gray area. We need to discuss if this is acceptable parenting.
On a side note, this kid will make a fine Chinese Airline Pilot someday.
Maybe he even qualifies to be a leader like Xu or Qi BURRRRRRRRRRAAP!
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The Terrorist Attack, Terrorism; Punishments and Rewards

The story goes something like this: Grand China 7123 (a Tianjin Airlines EMB190 flight)
was in cruise when a disturbance erupted in back; several passengers (6 by various accounts) had
revealed themselves to be a concerted hijack attempt, springing into action. One of these men
worked his way up to the flight deck. Finding the cockpit door blocked by a service cart, he
instead took an open first class seat and started pounding vigorously on the window.
Moments later the cabin security crewman, armed with a knife, instructed the man to be
still. Refusing to comply, the guard was compelled to use deadly force and opened the attackers
throat from ear to ear with one swift movement. The man bled out in a gruesome, messy death
described afterward by Embraer investigators as unbelievable. Meanwhile the other attackers
were beset by passengers who overwhelmed and disarmed them of their makeshift arrow-like
weapons. The flight landed without further incident.
The outcome was lauded a national success and the government saw fit to reward the
crew handsomely. In addition, a large sum of money was granted to the company to disseminate
to the employees at large except the expat pilots that is. Everyone else benefited from this
event except the foreigners and in spite of the so-called Rewards and Punishment program.
Apparently each employee was granted 10,000 RMB. Easy come, easy go. (Please read on for
more information about this program below.)
Afterward, aircraft B3165 (the EMB190) was rumored to have been decommissioned and
sat on the ramp at Tianjin Airport sans engines for a year. Some speculate the interior was
replaced and the airplane is now back in service. Very inauspicious at any rate.
In other news, 2013 experienced a significant amount of activity deemed terrorism by the
Chinese government in various parts of China. A man from the Shandong province confined to a
wheelchair became a suicide bomber when he blew himself up in Beijing. There were other
rumors of problems with passengers on flights, though I couldnt confirm any of them.
Unrest also continued in Urumqi where several coordinated attacks were carried out
against the police and civilians. Crews with overnights there were compelled by the company not
to leave the hotel under any circumstances. A supervisory policy of calling the hotel rooms of
crew members was instituted to confirm they were complying with the company mandated
confinement. Often these calls were placed at 2am.
Ed. note: More on punishment and rewards later and throughout this book.

Milking It for All Its Worth

In the interests of following a countrywide policy of
spreading propaganda, the company installed a kiosk in the
dispatch room to spread propaganda. For the longest time it was
playing a video documentary of the terrorist attack that constantly
looped day and night (it may still be playing for all I know). Every
30 minutes or so the screams and shouts of passengers, assailants
and the commands of the deadly security officer would spill
through the ready room to remind everyone how great the company
leaders are and what an auspicious victory this campaign was for
China in general. So yeah, enjoy participating in all of that.
Ed. note: there is nothing quite like watching your favorite team lose the
Superbowl from a lousy couch with shitty beer and pizza in China.

Hey does this thing get the

Spice channel or what?
NFL? Nega?

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This is clearly an isolated incident and totally devoid of any kind of political statement like oppression etc. Its
also clearly something to cover up and not develop/train any kind of countermeasure within the airline for
pilot crew. There were no additions to the SOPM or substantive memos sent to the foreign pilot group after
this attack. Instead, money was thrown around and company leaders patted themselves on the back.

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Oooopth I geth ith noth tho itholathed ather all? Good luck with thath!

The problem with Tianjin Airlines is that a very casual attitude toward opening the flight
deck door remained in the aftermath of the terrorist attack. Many times I personally briefed the
crew of our procedure for opening the flight deck door only to be thwarted by FOs who would
snap the door lock open without checking the monitor or interphone and then keep the door open
for an inordinate amount of time to flirt with the FAs. My complaints and admonishment were
met with casualness that is going to lead to another attack on a Tianjin bird and this time it may
not go in the companys favor. If you fly in China, do so with no illusions: the terrorist threat
there is very real and the response to it by Tianjin in particular has been woefully inadequate.

And then suddenly there was a terrorist attack in your home country
Theres nothing quite like being out of your home country in a semi-hostile land like
China when an attack hits your home country. Could you imagine, for instance, 9-11 occurring
when you were in deepest, darkest equatorial China doing bump and grind worrying about
whether or not you got a QAR? I can speak with authority on this matter because I found out
about the Boston bombing from my Chinese FO, Oh Captain, so sorry about your home!

The intense feeling I had of displacement, longing and slight twinge of embarrassment
has been unparalleled in my experience heretofore and thereafter. Later that day, listening to
some asshole fire off bangers down the street while I surfed photos and articles of the marathon
carnage was a nice touch too.
If youre going to go work in a foreign country and your home country goes BOOM just be
forewarned, it doesnt make for a pleasant experience.
Ed. note: You probably dont know what a QAR is yet keep reading, keep reading.
Woah. Have you realized that this book goes on for another 300 pages or so? I could go on for 600
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Hmmm. Looks pretty on-going and escalating to me.

This was an interesting one that took forever to figure out:

EMB170 Limitation: There has been much debate within the CAAC on whether they
would allow applicants with EMB170 ratings to fly in China. Although most of the world
recognizes that EMB170 and EMB190 type ratings are the same, it is still being
discussed by the CAAC. They have previously indicated that it would be allowed but is
now being discussed again

Giggidy giggidy
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CRM in China: Oil and Water

The Chinese do NOT get the concept of CRM. They may be able to spout off some
terminology that makes them sound internationally adept and up to standards, but the reality is
far from it. Here is an excerpt from a report blasted to the foreign pilot group about an EMB145
crew that happened to initiate 2 go-arounds on one day. Now, Im guessing yall have your
hackles raised like I do over the whole concept of undermining a proactive go-around policy by
treating the pilots with such hostilities as having them submit reports for following company
policy and issuing public criticism and fines for making the decision to go around but hey, as I
keep saying its China. Nothing makes sense over there. Ive appealed to a good degree of coarse
language in these pages which should reflect exactly how raised my hackles had become before
leaving.

This is the entire section dealing with CRM in the body of this report (the conclusion is
below). Now, this document was not written by a Western pilot; it was actually translated from
Chinese, the language in the first rendition of the report at the beginning of the document. So, we
can be fairly confident these are genuine Chinese thoughts and interpretations of the CRM
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concept. Whats missing in there is the important stuff thats supremely difficult to engage with
in a culture like Chinas: self-review, critique and change. Allow me to introduce some outside
references to jumpstart this discussion. I chose these two almost at random after a Google search:
http://www.crm-devel.org/resources/paper/last/last.htm
--The other condition is that the only factor in the "cross-cockpit authority gradient"
which inhibits error prevention is rank. Rank was earlier defined as being a long-term
position within the airline and which does not change in the course of a flying duty
period. When a Captain and First Officer are flying together, the relative authority of
each is not a simple "binary" one based on rank alone: all Captains are not identical, all
F/Os are not identical, and the combinations are infinite. There are in fact several
components to the "authority gradient" which include personal factors and role.
So, were already diverging here. Simply recognizing that there exist conditions we can identify and
descriptively term as authority gradients is not enough. Anyone can do that; weve been doing it since birth.
Its intrinsic in our whole of reality. Instead, what is desperately needed is a thorough analysis of exactly
where and how the Chinese are going wrong and most importantly how to go about fixing it.
***

http://www.skybrary.aero/index.php/Crew_Resource_Management_(OGHFA_BN)
--The legacy of national culture. Some cultures may have very high authority gradients,
making it difficult for a junior person to question the decisions and actions of a more
senior person (e.g., a first officer being reluctant to speak up against a risky decision by
the captain).
One example of such national culture is expressed in our current case: China. Keeping that in mind, this
paragraph is a little incomplete and might be better written thusly:

The legacy of a national culture imbued with a very high authority gradient which
simultaneously discourages speaking out while supporting immunity and exemption from
the rules for its leadership and upper echelon and good buddies thereof.
***

--Disruptive organizational culture. Some companies have a culture of discouraging

people from speaking out. They may also place undue operational pressures on their
flight crews that can lead to suboptimal decision making.
For instance, fines and public criticism for exceeding any number of unrealistic and counterproductive
performance parameters. Again a reworded, more accurate statement:

Disruptive organizational culture that spotlights the errors of employees, publicly

humiliates them and issues extreme punishment in the interests of browbeating the
collective into submission. This results in suboptimal performance which is then hidden
by over-reliance on automation and pencil-whipping safety statistics.
***

--Excessive emphasis on technical expertise to the detriment of the human aspects of

flying. Accurate technical knowledge is important to have, but it is not a replacement for
good resource management skills. Some flying situations require teamwork as well as
technical skills.
Again, the prime example for this is China; alas, their technical knowledge does leave something to be desired.
One might modify this paragraph to read:

Emphasis on speculation, myth and rumor regarding a particular technical subject;

misinformation promulgated by an extreme authority gradient exercised by instructors
over their students; disregard for SOP in favor of an instructors preferred method.
I think we can all agree that this extreme gradient can actually be physically observed when witnessing
instructors badger and strike their students, which many of the foreign pilots have witnessed.

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Unfortunately, this already ill-conceived document fails to redeem itself by taking the
opportunity to really engage with the (thorny) issue of CRM; instead, to maintain face the author
(probably the Fleet Chief) simply treads ground he has already covered when he offers his
conclusion:

First, we can clearly see the lack of understanding here when the author claims, poor
management will leads to error No: human factors lead to errors. Errors are intrinsic in the
human condition; we are not robots, and no degree of management will prevent the commission
of errors (and even robots make errors*). Much like the improper conjugation of the verb in that
Page | 72

sentence I quoted from the paper, no degree of management could prevent it from happening;
rather, management via layers of editing and review could have prevented the grammar mistake
from making its way into his final draft. In the same way (something we already know as
consummate professionals), CRM and TEM seek to identify errors and trap them before they
result in an undesired aircraft state or worse, an incident/accident.
So, the authors conclusion really boils down to this: different airports are different, and
different roles on deck are different so just try and deal with it as best you can. Now, recognizing
there is a problem is the first step in many self-improvements programs; its also the initial stage
of threat and error management by the way (detecting a change). However, this will never be
fully implemented at Tianjin Airlines or any other Chinese carrier for that matter.
By way of providing a perfect example of how built-in these undesirable authority
gradients are (which the chief has himself identified in this company memo), consider their
requirement for new captain experience whereby captain/captain flights are mandatory for 50
hours before being released as a solo captain. If they were genuinely interested in dealing with
what they call low authority gradients, theyd have to review this practice.
Furthermore regarding this practice, why this so-called new captain experience is not
conducted with an IOE/line instructor I dont know. What I do know is that it provides a perfect
vector for transmitting a plethora of misconceptions, myths and rumors from one generation of
pilot to another. Indeed, a non-qualified pilot acting as instructor for a newly qualified captain is
not good. We all know the rigors and upkeep of standardization at formalized meetings
instructors in the West go through. OOPS, wait a minute. The Chinese instructors dont have
these standardization meetings, never mind. So, it is the dumb leading the dumb leading the blind.
Further-furthermore, take into account the omnipresent SO on deck; all flights in China
have 3 men on deck, the third of which is a student. This student sits in the jumpseat for a
good year or two just sleepin I mean, observing. OK, sleeping (I mean, seriously, 2 years of
occupying the jumpseat? I guess they really are living the dream!). Guess who it is that teaches
these mostly napping kids when they can be bothered to be awake? The FO. Do you think there
is an authority gradient between the FO and the SO? You can bet your ball-sack there is. Ive
seen it time and again. Ive witnessed FOs screaming and yelling at SOs at the top of their voices,
intimidating them, you name it.
Lets trace out this information dissemination vector for a minute: its gone from an
instructor who is neither rigorous nor standardized, to a student who is holding on for dear life.
The student then is infused with other (probably conflicting) information from each FO (and
Captain) he flies with who have come from the same situation with which he is presently faced.
Once he becomes an FO himself, its then his turn to be the little king and ramrod this
information down the throat of another student who has recently taken the seat he used to keep
warm. Besides the clear problem with contradictory information, we have a saying in the West:
too many cooks spoil the broth. Its true. Their system is a joke, completely broken. And one
wonders why there is no standardization, no SOP and no order on deck in China? Its a monkeysee, monkey-do affair; a 3-stooges free-for-all.
You see, its easy for anyone to cherry-pick a couple of technical-sounding words and put
them into a document a few times. Its much more difficult to actually engage with the issues,
have company authoritarians learn from the mistakes they make as agents of faulty company
policy (they are above the law after all, bogus or valid as that actual law may be) and effect
Page | 73

change. In our Western models it took the force of unions arm-twisting management over many
decades to finally enact many of the changes we now take for granted on deck. Being that unions
are illegal in China and sino-centrism is out of control, I doubt we will ever see any appreciable
change (this books publication and awesome reception by the public at large notwithstanding).

Ed. note: Okay, enough of this dry shit. Lets get back to bagging on these monkeys full time Springer-stylee

Springers gonna need more bouncers for this one

Memories
During my precious 1 day off in the middle of an extremely busy flight schedule I came
in to the office for an appointment. I asked Memory where the guy I was meeting was and
all I could get was,Ooooh oooh oooh... So I told him to call Match and find out: more,
Oooh oooh oooh, no you should call... Finally I get him to call and Match ends up
saying he already had asked Memory to send a message to the guy! These people in the
office are completely USELESS.
Capt. Anon.

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The Career of a Contract Pilot

If it bleeds, we can kill it

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The very very first pair of pilots that interviewed for Tianjin in 2008 disappeared. I heard
one left the hospital after walking in the door, went straight back to the airport and got a
ticket home. This is not unheard of.
Capt. Anon.

A Little 121 411, 101

Taking the step to become a contract pilot is kindof like going over to the dark side of the
force. On one hand, if you play a decent set of cards youll be a street captain pretty much
anywhere you go and a couple of clever maneuvers can land you in a sweet transition to a bigger
plane. Pretty cool. And sweet. Pacific Rim Baybee! On the other hand, fewef. Well, you expose
yourself to the whims of alien governments, cultures and markets. Who knows what awaits you?
Its a monumental risk, but again were pilots and risk management is our middle name. Right?
If its at all possible, and you insist on this madness, keep your job back home and ask for
a leave of absence (LOA). Dont quit please, youll thank me later. I heard about one of the guys
in the first group (first if you dont count the other two who disappeared) who decided he was
done about 6-months into it with Tianjin, called up the HR department at his dormant airline job
back home, made a quick call to reactivate himself for a jumpseat and quit Tianjin without
ceremony. He had his shit figured out too; he climbed into a business class seat for free on a
company bird out of Beijing, scraped China off as best he could with some nice red vino therapy
on the 13 hour flight home, stepped off the plane and walked right into ground-school to get back
into the swing of things. Another pilot who quit more recently did the same thing. I myself
luckily had lined up another job being that I had quite my earlier gig.

So this is the way to do it, and several guys over here have had similar success stories. On
the flip side, Ive run into a couple of guys who quit their previous job while in China since their
LOAs were expiring. This is a tough one, and being that the Chinese are so fickle, Id be loathe
to give any quarter right up to the last second. Do not let China be your only job prospect, ever.
Keep your resume current, and I wouldnt let the search go cold for more than 2-3 months at any
time. Once you resign your seniority number at home, youre in balls deep. In other words, once
a contract pilot, always a contract pilot; ya dont go back. This IS a career move youre making.
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Having said all of that, the current projections for pilots in China are very rosy. The
numbers of high demand I saw at the time of writing this paragraph go out about 10 years and
then start to dwindle. Keep this in mind, the instant they do not need you there any longer, your
ass is grass. You are a dot. This has been true in other countries like India where foreigners have
been invited for work very temporarily as it has turned out, and you can believe that the Chinese
are no more polite. When they need you, you are their best friend. When they have satisfied their
shortcomings, youre yesterdays news. Dont forget it. And dont you ever trust the recruiter
River (Mr. Liu): he will sell you up the fucking river at a moments notice. Do not trust that guy,
period. But also keep in mind there is no carrier hopping in China for a number of reasons
Taking this a bit of a different direction first, if you are coming to China to do the expat
flying thing, dont be that guy you know what I mean? There have been a few of these rejects
flying around Chinese airspace; 2 outstanding stories involved a guy who cleared himself for a
CAT3 approach down Nanning way (BTW, there are no airports with CAT3 in China, or CAT2
for that matter that I know ofperhaps Beijing or Shanghai; CAT1 is dicey enough as it is with
the shit navaid facilities and SOPs they have). It didnt go over like a fart in church because they
dont give a rats ass about flatulence or religion in China; but, you can be sure this guy was
locked up in a cell, buried in a mountain, and the mountain was then gifted to North Koreas Kim
Jong Ugh for nuclear bomb testing with a special surprise in the middle not candy.

The second standout story is epic in all of China; an airplane on the fringes of Shanghai
airspace declared min fuel and was given landing priority. An aircraft in front decided they
didnt want to give way, declaring min fuel too. After landing, the CAAC went aboard both
planes (with a camera mind you) and found the gauges on the lead aircraft refusing to give way
reading a decent amount of petrol The lesson learned, dont do that.
On the flip side of this story, I heard that the FO on the lead plane declared min fuel in
Chinese over the radio without the foreign captains knowledge. This factoid (if true) came to
light after the captain was fired and barred from ever entering China again. That really sucks, and
I could totally see it happening over there.

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Next, and Ill touch on this several times throughout: if youre a woman or black, youre
probably not going to be asked to interview. Please send in your stuff anyhow if youre
interested, but dont hold any illusions when you dont get called. This is their country, and
theyre pretty damned discriminatory. Dont make the mistake that because they are an old
culture that makes up a part of the diversity we enjoy in America that they themselves promote
the same within their borders. Enough said.
This is what you are dealing with: you are neck deep in the meeting point between abject poverty and the
leading edge of high technology:

Anachronistic at best, nest pas?

Far from being photographs you flip past in National Geographic, this is the shape of your dayto-day existence in China. Its a study in extremes: old/new, poor/wealthy and
primitive/advanced. Its part and parcel the deep, dark well from which springs the backwards,
confused, alien practices you are forced to comply with, that frustrate the hell outta ya, and its
all the stuff which cannot be escaped.

Ummm uhoh. Low cost carrier. Ive heard that language before
In this case, does it mean more pilot fines? I mean, they arent going to save on fuel which they waste
institutionally or office staff who are basically slaves maybe pay cuts are in store for the future? Nega?

Yeah, more in touch with the nature of my boot up their ass perhaps.
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Choosing a Contract Company

First: the interview pass rate is something like 1 in 40 and it took them about 2 years with
several tries just to get the first 4 guys on property. So keep that in mind with your rosy cheeks
and dreams of Chinese sugar-plum fairies dancing on your pillow. Rather, think of it in terms of
a Kobyashi Maru/GenesisProtomatter solution to a career problem you may have, you know
what I mean? Its definitely NOT a career step, and its not a long term solution for anything.
Remember, the Genesis planet the Federation was all shit hot up in your grill bragging about in
Star Trek III? It BLEW THE FUCK UP at the end almost taking Spork, Krik and an annoying
Kristy Brinkly with it. And the Kobyashi Maru training session was meant to teach Starfleet
Captain upgrades how to get blown up without actually blowing up except that you are totally
going to blow up in China if you arent really careful and really lucky. You aint James T, but
consider being Mr. T. You WILL be dodging bullets.
You need to do your homework regarding contract companies before you come to China.
For a quickie, there are complaints with all the contract companies; but, Parc (CAE) and
WASINC seem to be pretty good. (Stay away from Tempo; its owned by one of the Hainan
Group leaders and you will for sure get no support; its a total conflict of interest.) Once you fill
out one of these companies online apps youre pretty much locked in. When you sign on the
dotted line youre toast for sure. Your agent owns you from a contractual standpoint, and the
airline you will be flying with owns your license and they are under contract with your agent.
Youre perma-fucked.
Ed. note: Apparently, one of the agencies was going to sue one of the Captains over there because he decided to
switch contract companies just as he was arriving in country. It turned out to be an idle threat in this case,
but you never know.

The next issue regarding homework up front is that the local airline company in China
owns your license when you (finally) get it. This means that they have the right NOT to release
you if you want to apply to another company. What do you think the chances are of that
happening? Ive heard stories of massive amounts of money changing hands behind the scenes
when the fortunate few have had the blessing to move on. Chances are it will not happen for you.
On yet another front there have been complaints that certain contract companies have
been black-listed by the company they are feeding pilots to because well, its corporate
blackmail really. If the contract company doesnt pay up, their candidates fail the sim outright.
Ive seen it happen.
Yet another issue here is your being recommended by a friend who is already on property.
This can have good and bad results; mostly bad in my experience. Id stay away from
recommendations were I you. Yes, plumb your friends for as much intel as you can get, gather
all the current gouge; be buddies in the eyes of the company after you have signed the contract.
Several of the guys over there had friends at such-and-such airline back home who they wanted
to get in. Plenty of them were great guys with good skills and were passed over because they
were associated with someone already on property. I cant tell if its because someone was pissed
off at the captain offering the recommendation (guilt by association) or if the Chinese dont want
to have too many prefabricated factions in the foreign pilot group; maybe they think theyll lose
control? An offshoot of divide and conquer perhaps? Its strange. Some really strong candidates
with recommendations from captains in good standing have been washed out. Strange.
Be advised, as I said Tempo is owned by a Tianjin Airlines company leader. Unless you
want to be in a world of pain (conflict of interest) DO NOT sign up with Tempo. In fact, given
Page | 79

the self-serving nature of contract companies to begin with, combined with the self-serving
nature of the Chinese in general, you are going to be unhappy anyhow.

DO NOT SIGN UP WITH TEMPO

Time Out for a Minute; Do Your Homework Dangit!
Ive been writing this book as though Tianjin Airlines and China at large were the only
options for contract work on the planet. No, no, no. As of the current time when my fingers are
hitting the keys to type these words there are the following contracts available in the world:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Skymark 737 non-rated captains

Air Arabia 320 non-rated captains
Turkish 320/737 non-rated captains
Air Asia X 320 non-rated captains
Qatar 320 non-rated captains
Peach 320 non-rated captains
Dream EMB170 captains
Air Astana EMB190 rated captains
Bora Jet EMB190 rated captains
Air Costa EMB190 rated captains and instructors

This list is not presented in any hierarchy beyond putting non-rated captain opportunities
in bigger jets up front for the regional jet jocks. For typed and experienced 320 guys, the list of
opportunities worldwide would not fit on this page in 8-point font. So if youre looking at China
as the only option to you, keep your eyes open. In fact, if youre looking at other options in
China besides Tianjin there are MANY that are going to be better companies to work with.
Theres a reason I put the meme on page 129-ish about Capital Punishment Airlines in regards
to any branch of Hainan. They have a rep. Just remember that once you pull the trigger with any
company in China you are stuck there permanently. Choose wisely.

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Boiling Down an Issue

So you pass the astronaut exam and get hired by Tianjin. You bid adieu your former job
and colleagues to find out the Chinese suddenly revoke the date you were supposed to be there
and push it back a month or two. When you finally arrive on property it takes another month of
processing to get into ground school which lasts another month or two. Then you finally start
line training which lasts another 4 months and doesnt quite go as expected; they just dont do
things rationally or professionally and its doing your head in. You fail the first line check which
sends you into another couple of months of observation and training. At the end of it all they tell
you, No thanks, and youre sent packin home.
Now guess what, you havent flown at your last gig for about 8-10 months which means
that IF you want to get another job youre going to have to put this Tianjin airlines experience on
your resume to cover 6-month recency on type. There are two problems with that: 1 st youre
probably going to have to lie that it was PIC because you were not the captain of record, and 2 nd
youre going to have to admit that you were shitcanned which complicates things as you might
well imagine. I mean, how do you explain leaving a job that pays 20k (+) a month in less than a
year to your next potential employer? Oh, I just didnt like it in China. Wow! Lets see that
one register on the BS detector BING! You WIN.

But lets follow this through some more, to the bitter, bitter end. Remember that job you
quit in the US? That seniority number you gave up to the guy/gal just below you on the list? Did
you really let the gravity of that sink in at the time, or are you just now facing the music for the
first time. I mean, youve been rejected by China and now its time to find another job back
home. This means you will be starting all over on the bottom of a seniority list slinging the gear
and flaps at a dumpy regional. Even IF you could get your old job back, you aint gonna slide
back into your seniority number, command slot or longevity for pay. YOU ARE SCREWED.
Boiling done. Let that sink in for a moment.
Page | 81

Jumpseating and Travel for Family

The first thing you need to understand is that there is no such thing as jumpseating in
China. PERIOD. Virtually every aircraft has 3 pilots on deck so there is no place to sit anyhow,
unless you want to sit on the bookcase (more on this elsewhere in this book). [Airbus guys shut
up! LOL.] Next, there is no interaction between the companies or CASS system like we have in
the US. So, forget about all that.

Then theres non-reving. For a while the company was offering domestic and
international travel as a contract incentive. After a few of the original pilots tried to take
advantage of this and were denied, it was revealed that per CAAC regulations a pilot cannot
jumpseat unless he is a direct employee of the company operating the flight AND was
qualified and current to fly internationally as a pilot (in the case of international jumpseating).
Being that Tianjin Airlines did not operate any flights internationally until very recently (2013)
this contract incentive was complete bullshit. The company knew it of course, but decided to add
the language to the contract anyhow. The benefits were being offered long after they were
proven to be unavailable, so be advised to the contrary if a recruiter is offering this as a perk.
Page | 82

FFFF-What?!?
So there I was, all ready and set to interview with Tianjin Airlines for a sweet job as a
pilot. I was all excited to go, had prepared thoroughly, done all the paperwork and running
around that you have to do, and now I was on an airplane with a positive space, free round-trip
ticket! WOOT! I arrived in Beijing, transferred down to Sanya, got on the little hotel shuttle and
checked in to the hotel. It was a first-class act: I was in and out without a hitch. They really had
their shit together, these Chinese. What was everyone talking about? Where was all the hubbub?
Then my contract agent/translator walked up to me, just as I was heading toward the
elevator, room key in one hand, roller in the other, smile upon my face.
Uuuuh. Very sorry uuuh.
Oh oh. Here it comes.
Captain I am so sorry, your interview has been canceled.

We dont really need to go any farther with the particulars of how that conversation
developed after da bomb was dropped. Needless to say, the going up to this point had been so
smooth because they werent expecting me. Why I was able to board 2 flights, pass customs,
check in to a company hotel etc. when the screening had been canceled is beyond me. This
interview had been on my calendar for a couple of months. When did the change in plans happen?
What was the thought process following it? Who was in charge of all this?
Really, all that was going through my head was how much money I had given up for
some unpaid leave to come and do this bullshit. Now I was wondering how to get back to my
paying gig to see if I could recover a little of the trip I had given up, or maybe some open time, a
little somethin somethin for the effort. NOPE. No go on that either. I was in China and there
was no way I was going back home early on account of a little thing happening like my interview
being canceled. You have to be friggin kidding me. NOPE! And then they asked me if I could
come back next week
I was born in the Caribbean and became a citizen in the US as a child. When I applied to
Tianjin my application was denied for this reason.
Capt. Anon.
Ed. note: No, this is not a recycled story. The Capt. on page 26 is a different guy. If you have a likewise checkered
past you also can expect your application to be rejected right away. Nobody ever said that just because
American culture emphasizes equality between demographic groups within her boarders that other
countries would follow suit.
Page | 83

First Officer Opportunities

If youre reading this book as a Western first officer looking for opportunities in China or
anywhere else in the world stop it. Just stop ok? Youre going to upgrade at whatever
company it is you think youre stuck at, be patient and roll on some elbow grease, grin and bear
it. If China is NO PLACE for Western Captains as I have been trying to build a case for, first
officer positions are certainly the work of the devil. Let me be clear:
Do you honestly think theyre going to upgrade you to CAPTAIN in China?
Do you honestly think youre EVER going to be hired by another US or other Western
company given your experience as a Chinese FO and having been subjected to their
training and culture over there?
Do you honestly think its a good opportunity to be a FO for a biased, sexist, racist and
ignorant Chinese captain? (Oh they promised youd only fly with Western captains
over there??? HMMMMMMMMMMM.)

Bear in mind that if they have promised you will only fly with Western captains as a FO,
it is Chinese law that 1 pilot on deck MUST be Chinese. Think about this also: you quit your job
at XYZ, go to China for 3 years and make some quick cash then what? Intend to find another
job after the contract expires? Think youll land another one, ever? Good luck with all of that.

Please dont fuck up your career. This is as dead an end as they come.
Page | 84

Does Anyone in This Dang Country Know How to Think Human?

So there I was, hired by Tianjin Airlines. Whooptie-doo! I had all my bags packed up and
arranged for extended leave from my present gig. Great. The day before I was to leave for China,
my contract admin called me and said there was a delay. Being that I have dual citizenship,
Tianjin had apparently messed up their paperwork by using one of my passports for my visa and
work permits and the other passport information for my CAAC license. (How this happened I
have no idea because I had never given them my second passport) I was informed that the only
way to correct the situation would be to take the ATPL test again along with some other training.
Why it even mattered which passport was being used for what is beyond me. I wanted to quit
right there on the spot but Id already confirmed the extended leave with my now dormant
employer this just wasnt going to work out. So I had to play along.
At the airport I was informed that I could only take one checked bag. One bag for a 3year contract? One bag. When I did finally show up in China I reported to the hotel where the
company said I would be staying. The front desk people had no idea who I was, no information
about my reservation, nothing. Its tremendously trying of your patience to have to deal with this
stuff after a 12-hour flight on top of all of the other shit. They had hired a world-class airline
pilot with tons of international experience flying big jets and here I was realizing Id made a
terrible, terrible mistake. One thing was for sure: I had landed right in the thick of China and was
beginning to learn that these kinds of dance around and freak out fire-drill follies are typical
behavior over there.
I was in China for about 4 years. After the first 6 months I was ready to go home, but I
decided to stick it out for a year. Then Tianjin started to offer raises on a pretty regular
basis and I got suckered into staying longer. By the end of my 3rd year I knew enough was
enough and I started looking for another job. By the end of my 4th year I had another
prospect all lined up when I had a Chinese-major incident. I was fired, got out of the
contract scott-free and luckily walked right into another gig that was waiting for me.
Capt. Anon.

Page | 85

Lets Take a Quick Look at the History of TJA Payscales

and you make your own conclusions.
2010:
2011:
2012:
2013:

2014:

EMB145 10,000
EMB190 11,000
EMB145 11,000
EMB190 12,000
EMB145 11,000
EMB190 15,000
EMB145 11,000
EMB190 17,000
A320 18,500
EMB145 11,000
EMB190 20,000
A320 20,500

I dont know about you, but if you pause for a minute and wonder why theyre paying an
EMB190 pilot 20k a month to fly regional bump-and-grind in China
ED. note: and pilots are still quitting

Yeah, get in!

Theyre requiring us to buy iPad Airs for EFB stuff as well as for paperwork and the like.
Besides the fact that this is a blatant contract violation, they are not the approved ones
anyhow Theres a company out there whose business it is to configure iPads for
aviation use and while yes, they cost twice the money, they are assured to work. Howd
you like it to freeze up on approach and lose your plate? How are you going to go around
on that one dude? Useless cunts
Capt. Anon.
Page | 86

CA Resignation
I was paired with an FO who was fresh from failing his upgrade training. I knew there
were going to be problems from the get-go. When I asked for the before start check he just sat
there and stared blankly out the windows. I turned to the SO and asked if he understood English.
He shrugged his shoulders. So I called for the before start checklist again. Again nothing. So I
took it up a notch and banged my hand firmly on the glare-shield and raised my voice:
BEFORE START CHECK PLEASE. Finally I got a response, he ran it and we went on our
merry way.
Later, in cruise, I asked for direct to a fix. No way, not possible.
I didnt ask if it is possible or not, I asked for you to request this of ATC.
Its not possible.
So I turned to the SO: What level are you? F3?
F5.
OK, heres what were going to do. You two switch seats, Im done with this.
And that was the end of that. I removed him from duty and we went on our merry way. A few
days later I was contacted by the company that I had a big report written about me by the FO.
OK lets do this, bitches. Before too much time went by after I had a little sit-down discussion I
was informed that I was resigning.
WHAT?
Youre resigning. We have your release papers here, your no accident/incident letter, a
statement that we accept that you must leave for personal reasons and that we have no
problems with you.
So I called my contract agent and before I could get a word in edgewise they told me:
Yes hi! We have already applied for 2 other jobs for you and confirmed that the
company will release your license and medical.
WHAT?
And that was the end of that. I had my final months pay, they bought me a ticket home and I
walked out the door something of a free man.
Now, even as these incredible events were unfolding I had a chance to engage in a bit of
retrospect. Another captain here (see CA Fuckedd* below) had been taken off line, dragged
down to the simulator, failed in the first 5 minutes and punished severely. I realized how close I
had come to this same treatment. Just after my last holiday, the company had asked me to go to
the simulator. Why? (I already had my 6-month check shortly before.) Because, was the
answer. So I refused to go and they put me back online. Then the situation above happened and I
found myself out on the street. Hmmm.
Ed. note: Weve been following CA X since he left Tianjin Airlines because we wanted to know the veracity of the
companys claims that they would release his documents and thereby allow him to move on to another
company in China for work. He did have several other jobs already lined up so he was smart and actually
walked right into something else.

Page | 87

Leaving China China China

Everybody is all hot to trot about starting a fabulous new job in a foreign country with all
the glamor and excitement of what people misperceive as being fabulous and glamorous
exciting, yes. What they DONT think about is what its like to LEAVE a place like China. If I
were to tell you getting OUT of China is every bit as complicated as getting IN to China youd
click your tongue and tell me Im being dramatic again. Well, maybe Im not.
Consider this: when you enter the country youre pretty much pissed off by all the
paperwork, medical checks and communist-dictatorship lines you have to stand in, but you have
a fat paycheck to look forward to and the excitement of the new job keeps you going. After all of
the shit settles and youre on the property and drawing the check, you start to forget all the hassle
and bother, the overdose of dye you had in the CT scan office, the zillions of times the lady
poked you with a needle to find a pipe and draw blood yeah, perhaps the sting starts to fade.
When you LEAVE China, youre going to have to jump through a bunch of hoops again
but this time without the promise of a future paycheck to keep you calm. Additionally, if youre
one of the unlucky ones who dont pass training, you have that failure nagging at you as you
stand in line for hours on end or wait for days on end for your passport to be returned to you. Its
not a pleasing experience. If youre fired because youve been injured well, fuck me good luck.
What you need before you leave:
A no accident/incident letter
A letter verifying your employment and flight hours there
A letter releasing you and your license
Now, if you are missing any one of these, you can probably just forge one because the company
letter head is a joke and you can always find someone who can write in Chinese to sign it for you.
Please refer to Appendix L for samples of all 3.

Uh is the United interview prep over already???

Page | 88

San Francisco and Beyond

The Asiana 777 crash in San Francisco was a tragedy that didnt need to happen and
could have been a lot worse than it was. You can be assured that when the dust settles on the
investigation that poor pilot technique will be at the root of this ridiculous accident. At the
writing of this paragraph we know 2 things for sure: #1 the aircraft was not malfunctioning and,
#2 the weather was clear as a bell with unremarkable wind. How is it then that a pilot with years
of experience operating a 747 can jump into a less complicated machine (an airframe with 2
engines instead of 4) and handle it so badly? One answer has been jumped on by newspaper
articles from opposite coasts in the USA: reluctance by Asian-country pilots to turn off the
autopilot and hand-fly their aircraft.
The damning proof of this reluctance is actual company policy at Tianjin Airlines that
demands pilots keep the autopilot engaged under threat of financial penalty. In the section of this
book that deals with QARs you can see a list of parameters which, if exceeded, will bring
punishment to the entire crew. Disengaging the autopilot is one of those parameters.
Supplementing my assertion that jibes
with the New York Times and LA Times
reporting of SFO with more evidence of shitty
Chinese piloting skills, the morning of the big
Henan accident in 2010 (see below for more
details on this gem), a Tianjin EMB190
departed the runway during landing and caused
a lot of damage to the undercarriage. In June of
2013, China Eastern departed the runway
during landing in Shanghai, cut the grass and
ended up jackknifed onto a taxiway.
Dont you just love how the thrust reversers are
still open in the photo above? There was some Yarrrrr! happenin on that flight deck. Anyhow, a
short time later in July of 2013 another Tianjin airplane departed the runway involuntarily, this
time an EMB145 in Xian:

See Appendix P for the company

report on this excursion.

I heard the instructor zigged for the highspeed and ended up with his right hoof pushing down
daisies in the flowerbed yup, that sounds about right slog, you motherfuckers.
The cause of all of these 3 accidents is blamed on the weather, i.e. the sino-dreaded
heavy rain and high crosswinds (however, the Xian crash was reportedly accompanied by light
to moderate rain). Now, dear reader, if rain of any intensity is causing transport category
airplanes to depart the runway in large numbers like these, you have to take a moment, step back
and wonder why.
Page | 89

Damn, its happening too quickly to keep it all together. Yet another EMB145 has gone
off the runway in China in June 2014 bringing the tally to 4? 3 or 4, I cant keep it straight
anymore; 1 145 (and 1 190) at Tianjin and 2 or 3 145s at China Eastern. 4, OK.

Yes, dear reader, landing in rain is unsafe if youre the typical retarded Chinese pilot who doesnt GET IT
Ed. note: Take note of the way passengers are being evacuated in an orderly line top left and how the photo at right
was cleverly taken when nobody was looking just interesting is all

Articles with preliminary information on MU2487 (which is likely all well ever get
considering the secretive nature of Chinese accident investigation) are speculating the crew may
have experienced a hydraulic failure which may have caused a degradation or failure in
steering. Mmmmm hmmmm
Ive asked several very experienced EMB145 jocks including a chap who had time as a
sim instructor what the likelihood of this was. Most were saying naw, theres an engine-driven
pump and backup electric pump which activates automatically in case of EDP failure in each
system. The steering is on system 1 which also runs the gear, so if there was a total failure in
pressure theyd probably have to do a manual extension too... and the situation would be fairly
involved. Fluid depletion due to a leak would be similar. It seems like bullshit in other words.
Besides, if they DID have a hydraulic failure on that system, what the hell are they doing
landing on a wet runway in the first place? There is a severe lack in plot judgment there, an
inability to piece together some basic facts and formulate a plan. OK, the failure happened on
approach? Why didnt they go around to give themselves time to deal with the situation. A single
hydraulic failure is not a major emergency on this airframe and dual failure is not really dire
either because the flight controls are all cable (NOT fly-by-wire). The ailerons and rudder are
hydraulically assisted and still can be actuated without the system functional. So why force
the landing in this case?
If the hydraulic failure is true, we see the direct result of inadequate pilot assessment and
planning: you crash. Otherwise, theyre idiots who cant control a perfectly good airplane on a
wet runway.
The biggest problem with all of this is that it will be swept under the carpet, fines will be
issued and life will trundle on without the desperate change needed.
Ed. note: Were wondering if the pressure caused by investigating go-arounds made these guys force the issue and
land. Again, just wondering out loud here in the office, spitballin.
Page | 90

Page | 91

Landing Heads Down (and Up the Nether Region)

Now, 1 day earlier from the crash above, China Eastern had another incident Man,
theyre really having trouble keeping it together. Good thing theyre run by the government so
that there is no chance theyll ever be shut down.
A China Eastern Airbus 320 landed on the taxiway at Nanning. Right.
Weather was reported CAVOK, landing on the ubiquitous RWY05 (in operation only 364
days of the year to the 1 day they use RWY23). Right.
The crew was composed of a Captain, another Captain and a CAAC inspector. Right.

Take a look at the article on the next page that shows the airport diagram. HOW THE
BLOODY HELL DID THEY MISTAKE THIS TAXIWAY AS THE RUNWAY??? Sure, the
article points out that the Chinese built a new runway and changed the old one to a taxiway, but
that was in like 2008, 6 years before. Ive operated plenty out of this airport and there is no way
of mistaking the runway here unless youre a complete retard OR unless youre heads down in
the cockpit staring at your PFD down to 50ft.

No.
Page | 92

Then, theres like 2 or 3 airports in all of China with parallel runways that I can think of:
Chongching, Tianjin and Beijing. Thats not many. So, if they were looking and thinking about
things the runway would have been inboard of a taxiway thats on the other side away from the
terminal a visual HUH??? cue. They arent even the same color for Gods sake!!! Ill bet a
stack of RMB they didnt brief the approach or landing/taxi-in.
If you do something like this in China you are SO going to jail it aint funny. HA!
PROVE me wrong la-wai round-eyes! PROVE ME WRONG.
Ed. note: Tianjins parking spots are on apron 2 though the occasional flight will operate from apron 1. Keep this
in mind when looking at the photo under Airport Operations and Tower Control on page 152-ish.

Page | 93

Wondering Why Transport Category Aircraft Have Runway Excursions

Stop being a tree hugger. Lets face it and forget all this fancy footwork regarding
automation and complicated controls. It all boils down to skill. Bringing the discussion home,
browsing NTSB accident reports for aircraft that involuntarily departed the runway during
landing (so-called runway excursions) brings up several overrun accidents. An overrun is not
having enough stopping distance so you go off the end whereas an excursion is not being able to
keep it between the sides and you make an inappropriate exit (i.e. you go off the side into the
grass). Investigators focused more on tailwind conditions as a major contributing factor of
overruns, but hardly mentioned runway surface condition (i.e. rain) as a cause of overrun
accidents. In one particular report regarding American Airlines flight 331, investigators
concluded:
In the last 10 years, many aviation safety organizations have studied runway overruns
involving transport-category airplanes to identify high risk factors that lead to overruns
and strategies to mitigate risks. A common finding is that the risk of an overrun is greatly
increased when landings are conducted on contaminated runways in tailwind conditions.
Any tailwind increases the approach and touchdown groundspeed of an aircraft,
requiring more runway length to decelerate. This factor can be critical where poor
runway conditions exist (NTSB 2).
In other words, it seems that the NTSB is saying that whereas runway surface conditions
are important in analyzing stopping distance, it is a tailwind that will significantly deteriorate
stopping performance and is therefore considered the prime factor that pilot decision making
should account for in a land/go-around/divert decision process. Yet, this is still in reference to
overruns, not excursions.
The ATSB (Australian Transport Safety Board) has a fantastic publication that looks at
120 excursions (termed veer-offs) and overruns worldwide from 1998 to 2007 (ATSB 9). In brief,
most excursions occurred in Asia (30%) and were attributed to the following:

Flight crew technique and decision factors:

incorrect crosswind landing technique (i.e. failure to correctly crab or de-crab the
aircraft on approach), inappropriate use of differential braking or nosewheel steering, or
exiting the runway at high speed.
Weather factors:
runway condition (e.g. ice, snow, standing water, rubber contamination), wind shear,
crosswinds and tailwinds, inaccurate reporting of crosswind conditions or reverse thrust
effect in a crosswind.
Systems factors
asymmetric thrust or uncommanded differential braking (ATSB 21).

Page | 94

flight crew technique and decision-related factors were present in 59 accidents, and
accounted 37 per cent of all contributing factors identified. They were often the result of
a long or fast landing following an un-stabilized approach, which was, in turn, due to
excess airspeed or deviation from the glide path during the approach. Delayed flight
crew action in the use of braking devices is also a common crew technique/decisionrelated contributor to runway excursions. In veer-offs, incorrect crab technique or
incorrect use of differential steering and reverse thrust was also present as a crew
technique/decision-related factor (ATSB 23).
Crosswinds are a major contributing factor to runway veer-offs. Common factors
involved in crosswind-related excursions are flying an incorrect crosswind approach, a
crosswind above SOP limits, or a failure to use correct braking techniques for crosswind
conditions. Veer-offs accounted for eight per cent of all approach and landing accidents
and serious incidents worldwide between 1984 and 1997, with crosswinds and wet
runways involved in the majority of those (FSF, 2000f). Analysis of the 120 runway
excursion accidents on landing recorded in the WAAS showed that of the 49 veer-off
accidents that occurred between 1998 and 2007, a crosswind was a contributing factor in
18 (37 per cent) cases. A wet, water-affected, or contaminated runway was present in 30
(61 per cent) of the veer-off accidents (ATSB 62).
So there you have it, a pretty damning account of pilot technique in Asia. In my
conclusion and firsthand observations its the stem of inadequate training. This inadequacy is
exacerbated by lack of continued practice and honing of skill due to a sky is falling reaction to
anything aviation related. Regarding the Asiana crash in SFO:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/asiana-airlines-flight-214-crash-caused-by-boeing-planesbeing-overly-complicated-9562331.html

Hart said the accident underscores a problem that has long troubled aviation regulators
around the world that complicated automated aircraft controls, designed to improve
safety, are creating new opportunities for human error.
The Asiana flight crew over-relied on automated systems
This epidemic in aviation does not begin and end with
South Korean airlines; it is absolutely rampant in China and
indeed at Tianjin airlines. The inability of professional airline
pilots to handle their aircraft is covered up and exacerbated by
automation which in turn, due to its complexity, adds
confusion and anxiety in situations where it is inadequate and
requires human intervention. IF you fly at Tianjin airlines you
will need to actively protest the requirements to turn on the
autopilot at 400ft on departure and click it off at 200ft on
approach. This practice is unacceptable and it WILL dull your
edge. Be careful. Be forewarned if you dont heed my words not to go fly there.
One of these days they are going to have an issue at altitude and its not going to be a
lack of oxygen thats the problem; its going to be a lack of common sense and grey
matter between the ears.
Capt. Anon.
Page | 95

Implications of SFO for Career Risk

So, the next big problem of coming to fly for some company in a country like China is
that one bad egg can spoil everything for everyone. The CAAC is horrendously petty when it
comes to accidents and piles punishment on the heads of everyone at a company unfortunate
enough to have a mishap. This is a big risk for you because you are ultimately hanging your
career wings on the shoulders of a domestic pilot group that has a very shoddy skill set which
they are essentially prohibited from practicing and honing.
Here are some examples I have seen or been told about: firstly, (as referred to above)
Henan airlines had a big crash in 2010. A bunch of people died and the airframe was totaled. The
crew descended below decision altitude during a non-precision approach into a backwater airport
somewhere in the North and landed way short of the runway. This is a euphemism for, The
idiots crashed and burned on gently sloping terrain. Contributing factors of this accident were
IFR conditions and nighttime operation. Otherwise, it was pilot error in a big way. We will never
know exactly the details of this accident or what really happened because the Chinese
government heavily filters the details of any report. Investigations in that country are conducted
under the veil of secrecy. But what we do seem to know is that the captain insisted on
descending below minimums without the runway in sight, apparently disregarding the FO call to
go around and the GPWS RadAlt callouts of 50 down to 10. Gotta tell ya, if I was that pilot
getting a callout of 50 (let alone 10) without anything in sight yeaaah, freakout. So,
something is missing from the official Chinese report; in it we read that the GPWS was
disabled Im not an EMB190 expert but I am pretty pretty sure you cannot turn off the RadAlt
callouts.
After this accident, Henan was totally shut down by the CAAC and, as of the writing of
this paragraph 4 years later, part of their flight-line sitting in JenJoe is still mothballed. Totally
shut down, I shit you not my favorite turds. About 10 otherwise brand-spanking-new EMB-190s
with Henan scrawled along their fuselage are just sitting there with plastic bags protecting their
wheels from sun rot, covers on the engines.
Heres an irony injection that should keep you off iron supplements for a while: its also
come to my attention that a TJ EMB190 aborted a takeoff at high speed because there was a
chicken on the runway. HA! A chicken on the runway, can you believe it? They werent sure if
they ran over it so they aborted. WTF?!? So you have to wonder, when will the next big accident
occur (its always lurking out there ready to happen). When it does happen, thank your maker it
didnt happen to you, pray that the passengers are OK and then pray you still have a job the
morning after. Its that simple.
Ed. note: It has come to our attention that the crew
likely did not have the autothrottles
engaged, failed to advance the levers to
the TOGA position and got a master
caution and EICAS message for which
they probably aborted the takeoff roll:
TL not TOGA
In this case, because a rejected takeoff in
China is a major incident they (smartly)
blamed it on a chicken on the runway.
Have fun playing games with your career.
Page | 96

So, What Happens When You Fuck Up Bad?

We arent in Kansas anymore Toto, so we have to look out for the Wicked Witch of the
East. There are a number of ways to fuck up in China, some worse than others, and surprisingly
some things that dont even raise an eyebrow if you get away with them. Smoking on deck?
OK! 32-degrees of bank for more than 2 seconds flying the line you are SCREWED.
But, what about more serious situations? What if, perish the thought, someone dies
because of your actions at the controls? This is unexplored territory for foreigners as of this
writing; but, there is a model for locals. The EMB190 that crashed in 2010 had extreme fallout:
the company was fined and shut down, everyone there lost their jobs and the captain (who
actually survived somehow) was thrown in jail. I dont know what happened to him after that,
the FOs I asked occasionally just shrugged their shoulders

This is Chinese logic and reality

Think about this for a minute though. The CAAC accident report was full of what I
consider some pretty ridiculous and contradictory facts and data. For instance, the EGPWS must
have been counting down from 50ft and yet they pressed on without a runway in sight (even past
10ft); the FO apparently never made a go around callout or didnt press the issue; and, after
the crash, the captain did not attempt to save the FO who perished in the ensuing fire
hmmmmm. This captain sounds particularly dastardly; was he being fast-tracked to the electric
chair? Dont take anything at face value in China.
So, if you do fly over there you are probably going to want to know where your nearest
embassy is located for sure. I hope its within an hour or so travel. Then, you may want to
develop a fast exit strategy with some comrades who would let you hide in a jumpseat if
necessary, who regularly fly in/out of China with a passenger carrier from your home country.
The question is how to get to the departure airport quickly and undetected, though security etc.
etc. It might be better to find someone with a speedboat to take you to Japan or Taiwan I guess
the lesson here is dont press your luck. You are undertaking a horrific amount of chance.

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Enjoy being prosecuted as a criminal if you have an accident or serious incident in China; you can also
enjoy being reminded of this fact during your flight prep exam every day you fly.

Oh Holy Fuck the Gear.

So there I was, flying the EMB190 in China. It was Christmas day and I had a quicky up
to Harbin and back that evening. Checking the weather, the TAF was calling for -15oC and -SN
after midnight. Id had problems with deicing before so I checked with the dispatcher before we
left to see if the procedures were running normally in HRB. The answer came back YES. OK
then, lets do this. The flight up was almost a non-event; the FO was a little bit uncooperative,
but nothing I hadnt experienced before. Once there in Harbin, I jumped out to do the walk of
love and noticed:
A. the snowfall had begun a little earlier than forecasted; and
B. that indeed, it was frigid freakin cold.
Great, lets do this.
We called for deicing while I reviewed the holdover charts (which are a joke at Tianjin)
and the cold weather procedures. The truck came up and we were informed it was type-I. Shit,
thats what, a maximum of 9 minutes below -14 and LTSN? I looked outside and the snowfall
was fairly light. A China Southern A320 was pushing for taxi having deiced with the same truck.
Mmmm. They dont have type-II?
No captain, only type-I.
Really, no type-II? I mean, type-I is really pushing it.
I looked outside and it was still fairly light snow.
No captain, they do not have type-II.
So, they sprayed type-I and just as we were getting ready to do the after checklist the
snow started coming down harder. Then the tower issued us a 10-minute flow time.
This isnt going to work. We need type-II. Im not going without it.
The FO was grabbing for the mic to call the tower.
Hang on a minute.
He wasnt listening.
Hang on a minute. Lets call dispatch first.
He still wasnt listening.
Hey man! Lets call dispatch first OK?
Oh, ok captain.

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He put in a call to dispatch and I took the phone. After some discussions about holdover
times and safety, we agreed (rather it was I who impressed upon a reluctant dispatcher) that it
was in the best interest for safety to use a little bit of type-II on this operation. The dispatcher
agreed to call HRB airport operations and talk to his sweet hook ups. After a PAX announcement
and a while later the trucks showed up, sprayed type-I again and then applied type-II (as far as I
could tell; who knows, it could all have been fake shit for all I know). Captian, they dont have
type II Yeah, BULLSHIT.
During that time I listened to ATIS again and, though the temperature had crept up a
scoche to -13, they were also calling bona-fide -SN.
Ed. note: Can someone please tell me how the temperature in Harbin, in the middle of the night, in the middle of
winter with snow flurries coming and going, can actually go UP 3 degrees? Sounds to me like the tower
was trying to put them in a better holdover bracket. Yes, China is heavily invested in safety.

After copying down all the info, running a few checklists and starting up, we got
clearance to taxi. The snow was just thick enough (i.e. like an inch or more thick) and the
Chinese just inattentive and careless enough about clearing the taxiway surface (i.e. hadnt run
the sweeper trucks by in at least 6 hours) that the only way to tell we were on the pavement was
to look at the darker patches where previous airplanes main wheels had passed. Other than that,
the blue edge-lights were twinkling off to the sides in the snow. You dont realize how much you
rely on the centerline while taxiing a transport category jet until its not there. Of course, this
weather must have caught airport operations by surprise. Snow and sub-zero temperatures have
only been the conditions in the Harbin region for the last 5000 years of their history at this point
after all, give the Chinese a little break! I was just waiting to drag a gear in the dirt
Now, the strange thing about the taxiway in HRB is that it actually takes you down past
the threshold 20 feet with a hairpin turn to an awkward 45-deg entry to the strip, so as you turn to
enter the runway your mains roll uncomfortably close to the threshold lights. So, here we were at
night without a centerline to reference and it was snowing outside with less than ideal visibility.
Shit. Nonetheless, I got it onto the runway without dragging a wheel over something notapproved and lined up on the tighty-whities. We were cleared for takeoff and I advanced the
thrust to TOGA. We ambled down the patchy runway and rotated. Shit.
Just as the nose was coming off the pavement, tower issued an elaborate clearance: climb
to 2400m, turn right heading XYZ and offset 6 miles right of course. The FO, with his catlike
reflexes was all over the radio trying to read back the clearance.
Dude, standby! I said.
Roger tower he disregarded me. The tower didnt understand his readback so they
issued the instruction again: climb, heading and offset.
Dude I said again, Standby!
Again he disregarded me, Bohai 1234, climb to 2400m, right turn to XYZ and offset 6
mils right of course.
I clicked the mic, Standby!
At this point we were through acceleration altitude. I called for FLCH and the autopilot. I
dialed in 2400 meters, crosschecked it, spun the heading to the right and called for Climb
Sequence. At this point I was hearing a whooshing noise and felt a slight vibration in the rudder
pedals. I was task saturated and didnt put 2 and 2 together. For some reason, I was thinking
wed picked up some ice. I asked the FO if he heard a strange noise.
No captain.
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How about a vibration?

No captain.
I was definitely hearing and feeling something
wrong. I accelerated us to 250kts thinking that if it were ice
maybe we ought to have a little airspeed margin just in case.
After a minute or two I noticed we were not climbing.
Hey, do you see we arent climbing?
Ah, yes captain.
Hmmm. Something isnt right here.
I also noticed the barber pole was at 265. That didnt
Yes, thats right, I am the FO who was
look right. I started to run the After Takeoff Check to
insubordinate and wouldnt follow the
captains instructions on this occasion.
myself: flaps up. Gear just as I was saying, Gear, I
looked at the MFD to make sure we werent going past
ATCs issued 6 mile off-set: the last thing I wanted was a route violation At this moment, the
FO shouted, Captain, the landing gear is down! Before I could react, he grabbed the gear
handle and snapped it into the up position, initiating retraction and sealing our fate.
This was one of those slow-motion NOOOOO! moments we always see in movies.
We were above retraction speed by a good 15kts. I resisted the urge to put the gear handle
in the down position; instead I disengaged the autothrotte and brought it to idle. Then I threw us
into FPA and spun the nose up. It was too late; a triple chime sounded and EICAS presented:
LANDING GEAR DISAGREE
You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach you get when you know youre boned?
Well, I knew in that instant I was terminated. The wicked witch was cackling something about
my little dog Toto too as I cleaned up the plane and got us all sorted out. The FO looked like he
was going to cry. Trying to break the new ice we had encountered, I asked him to tell me about
the two things we had learned that night. He shook his head and couldnt answer. So, I jumped in:
A. we have learned why its so important to aviate, navigate and THEN communicate;
B. we have learned never ever to just grab switches without thinking first.
I couldve added several other things like CRM, following the Captains commands, contributing
to situational assessment when there is a question about something not being right etc.
The rest of the flight was pretty quiet. When we pulled into the gate I ever so subtly hit
erase on the CVR as the FO left the deck, me close behind. After submitting an SMS report at
the dispatch office I jumped in my drivers car and went home. I knew I was toast but I was
happy in a way: I would be leaving China for good and I was fine with this. I probably could
have explained my way out it; but there was no way in hell I could survive the inquiry into
violating an aircraft limitation with a master warning. NO WAY. My patience was at an end with
these monkeys anyhow; there would be no dancing around for Capt. X this time.
I was mulling over these thoughts on the way home, not paying attention to my driver,
when we almost got t-boned by a speeding, white, mid-sized vehicle that came out of nowhere
from a side street. God dammit! It was probably a drunk motherfucker at the wheel because the
car never even hesitated. Great, China, just great. I was OUT.

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The Company Prevarication

Here we go

Lets get this straight: there was no they as this PPT frame exerts. There was the FO who acted beyond and
unilaterally of the Captains instructions in a lone snap reaction. This reaction had been engrained in him
thoroughly throughout his training and experience over years by instructors who beat and berated him for
not acting quickly enough or running checklists from memory at lightning speed.
The captain on the other hand was finally dealt a bullet he could not dodge and did his best to deal with the
situation by releasing the autothrottles NOT the autopilot, reducing the trust to idle and pitching up in a last
ditch effort to reduce the speed before the limit was exceeded. It was too late; however, the Captain tells me
he feels it a personal victory that he resisted snapping the gear lever back to the down position. He feels
strongly that cycling the gear while in transit could have led to a real mechanical failure by confusing the
system.
In short
The serious error in flight quality was already in place with this company and culture of a
horrifically punitive disposition.
The serious error in flight quality was precipitated by a FOs gut reaction born of fear, endless
harassment at the hands of his superiors and poor experience in a faulty training environment.
The serious error in flight quality was also born of a lack of respect for and adherence to foreign
Captain authority.
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No, not correct and was stated so by the Captain during his debrief. As the aircraft rotated and the tower
issued the clearance, the Captain sternly said, Standby, an instruction the FO disregarded and went on to
read the communication back to tower. The communication read-back was misunderstood by the tower
which then issued the clearance again to which the Captain again commanded, Standby. Again this direct
instruction was disregarded by the FO who proceeded to read it back to the tower. At this point the Captain
broadcasted Standby to the tower who disregarded and a third time issued the clearance.

A fourth time the instructions were transmitted by the tower. Any reasonable controller would:
1.
2.
3.
4.

never have given the instruction while the aircraft was rotating from the runway to begin with,
not have issued the instruction twice while the aircraft was still under 300,
would not have issued the instruction after being told to standby, and
would not have issued the instruction 4 times and instead would have waited until queried to do so by
the crew that was clearly in a high workload situation.

There was no traffic conflict, it being 11pm. What if the crew was dealing with a single-engine situation or
some other malfunction? This dogmatic insistence on procedure is has already led to one instance of an
undesired state as we see in this situation; the other shoe is just waiting to drop.
Oh AND where the author reports the flight crew noticed, whoever wrote this really means the
CAPTAIN because the FO and SO were both oblivious. The FO did NOT call out, Slats-flaps zero and the
Captain did NOT call for gear up at this point. These are all flat-out lies.
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This is the kind of detailed crap you are going to have to deal with as a pilot over there: QAR numbers.

Another thing to point out here, because the dumbass Chinese do not allow the de-clutter function to operate
as normal on the EICAS for the EMB190 there was yet another signal missing to show the crew the gear was
not retracted. Had it been normal for the de-clutter to occur and it had not in this instance, it possibly may
have given the crew the essential hint needed to solve the conundrum. Again, youre going to be set up to fail
in China. Its a matter of time before it catches up with you: 6 months, 1 year, 4 years it WILL catch up.

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Lets again be clear. The Captain sets the tone and the FO follows. PERIOD. The lack of CRM was due to the
FOs lack of subordination to the Captains instructions. Had the FO been more cooperative that night a very
different outcome would be chiseled in the annals of Tianjins history. The word They here is not only
misleading, its an outright lie. The Captain performed the proper situational analysis hampered by an
uncooperative crew, fatigue and as he told me frankly, the end of his patience with China. It was the Captain
who pointed out the dull aircraft performance to the FO, the vibration and unusual sound; unfortunately he
did not piece the situation together to come up with the answer sooner. I chalk this up to acceptable human
performance in a high stress, high workload situation.

The disarray of CRM as I point out again and again throughout this book is with the Chinese in general. In
this instance I think were in safe territory asserting that when your crew is uncooperative and working
against you the chance of a fuckup skyrockets. Litmus test passed. Also keep in mind the enormous deal they
are making regarding the gear here. The landing gear is supposed to be left down in the event of brake
overheat or brake fail (so you dont fling damaging debris all over your exposed flight-control hydraulic
lines); exactly how much of a threat is this situation really? Embarrassing, fuck yeah. Shit operating under
other circumstances? Hell yes. Dangerous from an aircraft state point of view? Pfffffft, no. Dangerous from a
CRM and insubordination point of view on the part of the FO? Mmmmm hmmmm...
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And here we go with a bunch of bullshit the Chinese are throwing around like they know something about it.
NO, no, no. Because the FO did not follow the Captains instructions, and because the Tower did not follow
the Captains instructions this thing happened. And if he was stern: GOOD. He had an uncooperative crew
going against his commands. You BET he should be stern. I imagine the FO getting a thorough reaming by
ProStandards and the Chief Pilot in the US and barely skating by with his job over this kind of behavior.

Can someone please explain to the Chinese that you cant have any callouts while the FO is communicating
with the tower? You just cant reason with these ass hats. And this is going to happen to you. Bet your lunch
money on it.

LOL
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HUH????? You mean theyre saying the Purser called for the gear up or something? HUH? What does this
have to do with anything and the price of coffee in Jamaica?

No, again, the threat and error management was ongoing in this case BY THE CAPTAIN (the FO and SO
were out to lunch) and had yet to lead to detecting the exact error so as to handle the undesired state. And
really, it wasnt a hard undesired state like a wing on fire or wandering into a war zone. Were talking about
gear being left down within the aircraft limitations. When the gear was operated by the FO, THAT was when
the limitation was violated for VLR which is 235kts in this bird. Honestly, the Captain (erroneously) sped up
due to concerns over possible icing. Remember, it was snowing that night and the Captain was not getting
cooperation long before they ever took off. Then, they were operating on contaminated surfaces because the
Chinese are too damned lazy to sweep the shit up. Maybe the army was on break that night and couldnt
come out with their wicker brushes to clean the snow off or something.
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The Captain this happened to insisted I add the entire incident report in to show you exactly what you are
going to be up against in China. So here we go beating the horse some more with terminology they have no
idea about and policy they have no clue how to implement.

YOU, CHINESE, DIPSHITS. LOL.

Nobody can hear your reprimands in space

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Beating dead the dead horse dead.

More bullshit.

Expanded study that has nothing to do with anything.

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A stern command is not losing temper. Furthermore, there were 3 pilots on deck; the other two completely
missed it as well BUT the significant difference is that the Captain DID notice something and worked the
situation until he figured it out.

Notice the gender bias, ladies?

OK. Well be discussing these concepts again throughout this book. In the meantime, fuck off, China.
Ed. note: This foreign pilot was fired over this event. The FO was not touched; all blame was put on the foreigner.
He subsequently went on to another airline gig shortly after being hustled off the Tianjin property. Keep
in mind that Tianjin Airlines has an SMS program and makes note of the same in their SOPM that a
pilots job is not in jeopardy if he makes an SMS report. I guess thats not the case. IOSA really ought to
audit this company and do so with a magnifying glass and anal probe.

Damn Duke, youre going to wake the neighbors

Theyll be picking that transmission up in the Kepler-22 system in about 400 years and jump
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So, What Happens AFTER You Fuck Up.

Its happened. Youve had a tough time adjusting to the QAR culture and youre out of
lives. You get a call on your local cell at an inappropriate time like 10pm on a day off informing
you that you are to report to the office bright and early the next day.
Hi captain, this is Memory.
What the hell Memory, its 10pm and Im enjoying a movie with my wife via skype.
Captain you have to come into the office for a meeting tomorrow.
What? Why??? What did I do? (Your wife hears your exclamation on her end.)
Captain there is a QAR you must come in and explain.
What??? Which one??? (You remember that youve seen several on flight net.)
I dont know captain.
OK, what time Memory.
7am, before your flight in the dispatch building.

OK, now your wife is freaked and you have to deal with that. But, it sounds encouraging,
youre still on the roster, still flying. What you dont realize is that youve been put under ultratop-secret administrative review that lasts X-number of months and are being constantly reported
to the CAAC for every little blip on every leg you fly. Your days are numbered laowai.
At the meeting the next morning the company leader (probably Xu) browbeats you over a
laundry list of minimum flap maneuvering speed, bank angle exceedence and high g-loading in
flight. If youve been especially bad letting the FO fly, it may be that hard landing from last
week where the little shit pranged it on in Nanning and told you, Sorry captain, and you didnt
think too much of it at the time.
The Foreign Pilot liaison is probably attending with a little smile playing on his lips
telling you its totally cool, nothing is wrong and this is normal stuff. He parades around in front
of the company leaders using your back as a nice stepping stool to make himself look good (and
you find out a week later hes one of the first two to have been awarded A320 transition training).
Thats right. Youre in the shitter now. Youll have several line checks and observations
for the next several months which you must pass as well as a potential sim check. After all this is
done and you appear to be released back into the norm, remember that you are still on their radar
and this bell cannot be un-rung. The clock has just begun ticking on your time at Tianjin Airlines
and if youre smart you have your resume OUT and applications PENDING for interview.
Keep in mind that you WILL NOT be finding another job in China. First, the company
you are working for WILL NOT release your license and second your name is now shit to the
CAAC and any future Chinese employer even IF you could get released. Try letting that not fuck
with your head.

Oh stewardess, theres a Maonster outside my window.

Ooooohly shit, you HAVE to give us props for that one, bubbah!
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CA Gear Down
So there I was flying along, just nailing the numbers on the arrival, all dialed in at flaps 2
capturing the LOC. The FO, a fairly senior guy, turned to me at 8 DME and asked if I wanted the
gear down. I said, No, Im waiting for 6 miles, were OK He moved his hand over to the
gear handle and selected DOWN. As the gear doors open and the wheels extended there was
an uncomfortable silence on deck and decided change in color of my face.
After landing, the FO tried to backpedal saying, Oh, maybe I misunderstood you. I
thought you meant gear down. I told him, Son, in the last 11 years of flying, from right seat in
trubo-props to left seat of transport category jets, I have NEVER ONCE had anyone
misunderstand my commands in regards to the gear or flaps.
Ed. note: ya know, if you report these guys, they turn it around on you and never get punished. If theyre friends of
the higher-ups, theres a good chance you will be called in to explain your lack of CRM!

Ya just cant do business with these thieves

Tianjin airlines has been in desperate need of pilots since 2008. Being that it takes about
40 applicants to get 1 on property, they have a tremendously steep gradient to climb here. Also,
taking into account the fact that pilots are quitting (and getting fired) in droves, its a scenario of
burning the candle at both ends. I put my head to the situation for a moment and realized I
actually had a huge reserve of pilots I could put in the pipeline. Now, TJ offers a one-time payout
of $1500 per pilot for recommendations who make it through (which is pretty lame considering
the ordeal it is for you and the friends you introduce), so I decided instead to start my own
recruitment company and reap the $1000 per month fee contact agents gather.
Now, dont tell me about the contract violation I was creating by doing this. I had several
loopholes I was working with, and it all boiled down to a level of risk I was willing to shoulder.
The problem is that I didnt realize they would actually live up to their reputation as villainous
scumbags. Still, it was a calculated risk.
A while later, I finally had 3 or 4 pilots ready and lined up on their way over with about 8
more in the pipeline. At this moment the company called me in for a meeting saying that they
were sorry to disappoint me but they would have to cancel our agreement and instead revert to
the original deal of $1500 per pilot. The reason they did this is that the leader of TJA owns one
of the contract agencies they do business with (can anyone say conflict of interests?). The leader
decided to set me up and take my pilots from me when they were assured to be coming.

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Id already invested a lot of time and money into setting up my company so I told them
no deal, I would send everyone over to China Eastern. And that was the end of that for Tianjin.
Ed. note: We have found out that the contract agency that brought the original 4 pilots over in 2010 had an
exclusivity agreement with TJA extending out 2 years. Guess how many pilots got hired in that time? 2
more. Guess how many times TJA tried to violate this agreement? A lot! You cant do business in a
country that is out of control like China.

And your friends will be totally glad you got them interested in the China gig

I had 4 friends I wanted to help get in to Tianjin. Of those 4, 1 smelled a Chinese rat
pretty early on and wisely dropped out. Maybe it was someones breath over there. The
other 3 came over to jump through the hoops. Of those, 2 failed the sim and 1 was told
his eyes were not straight during the medical evaluation. BOOOOOM!
Capt. Anon.

Africa??? Im Not Going to Africa

At one point, several of the foreign pilots at Tianjin were considered for duty in Africa
(whether they liked it or not). The company was trying to dump all of its EMB145 fleet in Ghana
and had to send a few captains along to seal the deal. Fire-drill Francis was installed as Chief
Pilot (woo-hoo!!) and eventually only 1 foreign captain went on the promise of a fairly sweet
deal. The reality was far different from the fantasy.
After several months of Francis trying to pass the local flight exams in Ghana for his
ATP, he accrued numerous failures and all hell broke loose. (And this isnt even mentioning the
wing-strike that took out the APU on one of their birds the morning they were to start flying
proving runs.) The foreign captain, who was originally offered a line instructor position,
unceremoniously wound up in the right seat slinging the flaps and gear. His contract was severed
leaving him with of what the Chinese had originally agreed to pay.
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The flip side? The foreign captain was sent home shortly thereafter without a job, most of
the Chinese idioths who were sent down to establish the airline and Chin-ify Africa in the
process suddenly found New Opportunities back home and Francis was awarded the left
seat of the Airbus 320 for his noble enterprise. Who can identify the communist political party
member in this group? Note to self, dont accept duty in foreign country B if youre on contract
with that company in foreign country A. Or something.
Ed. note: Weve also been following CA Y since this madness took place. Hes since been hired by a legacy carrier
in the US, so in the very least thats a nice resolution to a messed up situation.

So there I was, freshly resigned from Tianjin. It had been a very challenging ride but I
had somehow made it to the other side. I put in an application with another Chinese
airline on a whim and they were hot-to-trot to get me on property. A week or so later I
got a message that Tianjin Airlines had said bad things about me to this new prospect
and they were closing my application file. I was no longer marketable in China!
Capt. Anon.

Hotels and Overnighting

Typically, you will not overnight
away from a company base unless you hit
huge delays. All of the trips Ive heard about
either take you out and back or do a grand
tour around Tianjin. Delays happen fairly
regularly, so you will probably find yourself
in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere on
occasion. Besides this occurrence, the pilots
here regularly do 1-2 week stints at away
bases. This means that if your official base
on paper is Tianjin, you will have stays in
Nanning, Xian, Hohot, Guyang or Urumqi
(depending on the equipment you fly). The
heavily biased seniority system may or
may not shield you from some of these, but
youre likely to do them at some point. If
youre adventurous, great; if you have a
family here you want to spend time with and took this job under the impression youd be home
every night well, you were kindof lied to. Deal with it.
If you do find yourself on some kind of overnight/out-base, youre going to be the
auspicious guest of a Chinese hotel. The best 5-star hotel Ive ever heard of in China is basically
your average Doubletree Inn. For the most part though, no matter how many stars they have,
hotels in China are pretty much flop houses. Ima list some of the finer offerings of the Chinese
hospitality sector for you...
I had to change my 4/4 contract back to 6/3 because I was too damn tired all the time.
Its not safe to fly the same flight hours in half the time.
Capt. Anon.
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Dukes Top 10 Chinese Dammit Hotel Features for Foreign Captains

all rooms, smoking or non, have a cigarette-y flavor to the air; aw heck, there are exactly
ZERO non-smoking rooms in China
the walls are always really thin so its noisy; expect to get no sleep when a bunch of
Chinese decide to play mahjong down the hall at 1am
the beds are typically hard as a rock
the pillows are super uncomfortable
the bedding and pillows stink like rotting foot fungus mixed with cigarette smoke
the floors are nightmares that would make Alice from the Brady Bunch faint and die
if youre a fan of police procedural shows, dont emulate the forensics teams by bringing
lumispray because youre going to find bodily fluid everywhere
the toilets are rusty, run 24/7 and sometimes leak around the base, and sometimes will
even have a nice back-flow during the night with which to greet you when you wake up
in the morning
the same applies for sinks
the showers are all rusty and often give you itchy athletes foot
the bathroom fans are ill maintained and sometimes arc spastically while you are
showering
sometimes all the time there is no hot water so you bathe accordingly
often the water is slimy and smells faintly of rotting fish
the rooms are generally uncomfortably sweltering hot in the summer and frigidly cold in
the winter
bugs, bugs, BUGS! Mosquitoes up the damn ying-yang, and roaches will visit ya too.

Filthy floors, rusty tubs ripe with fungus

One of the cuter features of Chinese hotels in general (why I made the point above about
forensics techniques to find various bodily fluid like, say, semen) is that a masseuse tends to be
a fairly regular staff member on the premises. For you single guys out there this might be a plus,
so bring your rubbers. If you forget to bring one, most hotels feature condoms (and fresh
underwear) on the counter next to the electric teapot. For married gents, guys like me who have a
strong relationship back home or guys who just find it annoying to get a call on your room phone
at 11pm soliciting beautiful girl service, its another quirky cultural norm youll have to deal
with. If youre married and on the prowl, youre in luck dont let your wife read this section,
or the entire book for that matter (pssst: shell probably freak).
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peeling walls, rotting doors and broken toilets for starters: this is your typical hotel room in China!

Boarding Music
Did anyone else appreciate that Gangam Syle song from 2012 as much as I LOVED it? It
was almost as good as anything by mah boy Justin Bieber! Yes, you can imagine the excitement
I felt when it was featured as boarding music along with a number of other tunes with fairly
inappropriate lyrics at Tianjin Airlines (lets forget the piano ditty and Hotel California for a
minute). The FOs were humming this song for MONTHS. Like I said, how did the dipschits at
SkyTrax award these zidiots 4-stars??? Please, someone answer this one for me?
Of course, these tunes are all in English so I guess mama passenger and her daughter
passenger usually wouldnt really understand the more lascivious words being pumped through
the PA to a ghetto beat. Still the female heavy breathing into the mic ummm. While youre
laughing up your sleeve on the flight deck, remember that its symptomatic of the fact they have
no clue about the outside world beyond what is allowed to be told to them by their government
(most of the internet is blocked and news is heavily filtered as we have already discussed). They
just have no idea.
BTW, did I mention:

DO NOT SIGN UP WITH TEMPO

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Food
You have to eat, and I dont have to tell
you that what you eat can have significant
impact on your health in the short and long term.
And the food in China is frikkin terrifying,
people. Were way beyond the popular stories of
eating dogs and cats; I actually tried donkey at
one point and it gave me gas instantly BTW.
While I was in country there was a big
chicken scare (LOL) where a number of people
became sick and died from infected meat (not so
LOL); I dont remember hearing that they ever
actually confirmed the vector for this malady
either (and who knows the real number of deaths
which was probably covered up too). I do know
the government went on a rampage for months,
destroying masses of chickens in many cities
during the crisis. It was fairly taboo to order chicken for a while at restaurants. I dont think ya
go to these lengths if only 2 or 3 people die of something that is unconfirmed so were they
hiding something here? What really sucked was that you couldnt get chicken for your crew meal
for the longest time either.
Speaking of crew meals, heres an excerpt from an email instructing us on the finer points
of in-flight vittles:

Mmmmm! Chicken feet and internal organs sign me up for some of that right away please!

You look at the food you deliberately order in your average Chinese restaurant or are
served randomly because you didnt know what the hell you pointed at (or said in your crappy
attempt at Chinese), and it tends to turn your stomach. A lot of what they eat over there smells
and looks like it was scraped out of the gutter (gotta try the tripe); but what the heck, they chalk
it all up to elevated pallets. Hey, try eating some bullshit and tell me that again with a straight
face? Still, there is a bevy of interesting dishes they serve that warrant brief epicurean review. I
read about a few of them in the locally published garbage foreign newspaper and heard of others
from various FOs.
Heres one for ya: pee-eggs. This delicacy (AKA medicine) is loved by and large down
South. Local women put buckets in the hallways of elementary schools for boys under the age of
7 to urinate in. When a bucket is full, one of the ladies spirits the precious liquid away to her
shop where it is poured into a big vat and brought to a rolling boil. Eggs are then dumped in and
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cooked halfway. At this point they turn off the heat and then 1-by-1
take out the eggs and crack their shells. The eggs are thereafter put
back into the vats and slowly finished over lower heat. The benefits
of eating these urine eggs has something to do with not being
susceptible to heat during the summer or some stupid shit like that.
The only fact I care about here is that theyre willingly, knowingly
ingesting human waste from little boys. Look it up on the dang
internet if you dont believe me.
OK, heres another one: the 3 squeaks. Take a pregnant rat,
squeeze her live fetuses out into a bowl, and serve quickly with
some vinegar on the side. Orders up, 3 squeaks! Squeak #1: pick
up your chopsticks and grab yourself a wriggling unborn (as it
were) rat. Squeak #2: dunk the fetus in the vinegar. Squeak #3: pop
Heres a bowl of bugs, yum
the rat into your mouth and enjoy the complex flavors of fetus,
vinegar and rat uterus juice. Fucking yum yall!
Pork is another one that raises eyebrows because there was an event where masses of pigs
were found dead and rotting in the Shanghai river. OK, so what, thats more of a pollution issue
Duke. No, the pigs were severely deformed as though they had been experimented upon. So,
youre telling me, chances are Ive been eating the result of genetic experimentation on livestock
that has no government oversight or ethical structure? Sign me up, its a Monsanto dreamland!

Heres the stinking gash of a river rollin through Tianjin they fish, swim and pour industrial waste in
there Shut up India, I dont want to hear about it.
OK, one last smart-ass remark: is it green stripes on black water or black stripes on green water?

Then theres lamb. Oh please, say it isnt so, not lamb too? Yes. Apparently, cat meat is a
good lamb substitute, as is rat. Then there were the widespread cases of baby milk poisoned with
melamine and mercury. An epidemic of dead babies pointed to shady factories with shady
recipes. I mean, come on, mercury as in the Hg? If youre having trouble disposing of your
industrial waste, I guess feeding it to your young is the way to go? I bet the Khmer Rouge would
approve. At yet another point in time plastic softener was discovered in bottles and cans of sodas
and the government went on another rampage pouring untold gallons of all kinds of beverages
into the sewers. I hope the city pipes werent plastic though oopsie!
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China is renowned for making fake shit of all shapes and description. Then, there was the
article I read in China Daily that touted one developers success with making fake eggs. Fake
eggs? Yes, you read it properly: fake eggs, shell, whites and yoke. What is it with the Chinese
and faking it? You wouldnt look at your Cadbury Easter holiday favorite confection quite the
same after you considered that youve probably eaten one of these babies in China.
Then there was the time I was at the hotel restaurant and one of the waitresses had what
appeared to be 2 big ol puffy, bleeding eyes. Not black-and-blue as though she had been in a
fight; bleeding and pussy, as though she had been bitten in the face and infected by some
radioactive swamp monster. It was a bit unnerving and kinda gross. But Duke, that isnt food;
OFF TOPIC! Well, I noticed her rubbing her face a couple of times while she took our order
so I hope she wasnt in the back preparing anything. Aw hell, what are you going to do?
Everyone else was eating and happily not noticing
And then theres the fish. Dont eat the fish in China you assholes. Firstly, you can bet
the catch of the day came straight from the city sewer, I mean river, to your plate. Do you like
heavy metal with your meal? Hmmm? Some Iron Maiden with that bottom-sucker to give you an
early Megadeath? Better call your Judas Priest. Well, as an alternative to heavy metal poisoning
from river fish, there are the plentiful little ponds where farmers grow fish en masse. You can see
them dotting the landscape as you fly over various cities yeah, they truck in only the best raw
sewage to stock those ponds too. Enjoy your elevated pallet you sickos. What is it with the
Chinese eating stuff theyve already eaten once and defecated? Why do you have to eat
something twice? I dont get it vestiges of starving people in the 70s, 80s and 90s and
2000s and 2010s I guess. Holy crap China is messed up, as is this pun, paragraph, chapter and
book. Youre welcome.

Must fly airplane dont let Chinese FO touch the damn controls

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I really dont know what to say here because Told ya so juuuuuuust doesnt seem to capture it adequately.
Seriously though, what is it about the Chinese and eating feces?

www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2013/10/28/you-may-never-eat-street-food-inchina-again-after-watching-this-video/
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They Friggin Eat Babies!!!!?!

No, they dont eat goddamn babies you assholes. Probably, at least. They do eat some
horrific shit though as Ive already shown, but not babies. Probably. All those photos you see on
the web are shit fakes, photoshopped, or the internet flotsam of some dude from back in the 90s
or something who made the claim he did eat babies in China with a big exhibit he toured around
the world with. It turned out to be a hoax and total bullshit shock art after Scotland Yard and
the FBI investigated his ass. Still
You remember a little party in the 70s called the Khmer Rouge? True, they were all
down in Cambodia; but, dont forget there has been documented cases of cannibalism in China
in the not-so-distant past, and Cambodia aint too far away. I think some of those yahoos took
refuge in China after their little red-scarf party got broken up didnt they? The Chinese harbor a
lot of hard core attitudes about the funkiest things, and there is a scary robot-like mentality to the
way they behave. So, keep your head on your shoulders (LOL) and if youre going over there
with a newborn ah, never mind. Youll be fine probably. Besides, the horrendous pollution and
chance of lung cancer will afflict your child long before the chance of cannibalism takes his/her
life in the name of auspicious culinary delight.
On a distantly related note, there was an interesting case when I was over there of a
western couple who stumbled upon candid pictures of their 2 blond-haired, blue-eyed children
gracing the packaging of some product being sold at a major retail store. They sued of course and
got the design changed (they didnt get any money from what I remember; China doesnt really
do that). So, yeah But they do practice infanticide with baby girls.

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Regulatory Stuff and Stuff

Waaaait, they have rules now?!?

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Firstly, there is no English (or Engrish) version of the regs that Ive been given or found;
supposedly theres a 2005 rendition somewhere but I havent read it. So, theres that.
Supposedly the Chinese regs are loosely based on the FARs. However, as Ive said before, just
because its in writing doesnt mean jack schit in China. The prevailing attitude is, Yes, there
are provisions for X, but nobody really follows it. And thats that. Read on

Airplane Fuel
Youre the newest member of the 61st Squadron PLA Fueling Wing. Welcome! Your
mission (should you yadda yadda) is to tanker fuel like mad in China, and there is a reason for
it: its common practice to deny a flight to proceed to their flight-planned alternate. WHAT?!?
Alternate: denied. How about the second alternate? Denied. WHAT?!? DENIED. Look, just take
my advice and tanker the thousands of kilos of extra fuel, smile while politely nodding your head,
and go fly the friggin thing already will ya?
And, BTW, the SO is tasked with monitoring the refueling process. Hes supposed to get
a receipt because the fuel trucks will rip off the company if they get the chance. Guess who is at
fault if he forgets the fuel slip? Ricky dont lose that number

Pilot Fuel
Because U Deserve What Every Individual Should
Enjoy Regularly. If you partake in the occasional (or not so
occasional) adult beverage at the pub, sports bar or on the
couch with a pizza and clicker-stick, get ready for another
example of extreme Chinese bullshit:
bottle to throttle is 24 hours. Indeed,
official CAAC regulations provide for 12
hours, but at Hainan the rule is 24. I dont
know how this is going to be policed, but
you can bet that where theres smoke
theres fire. Ill put money on it that the
Chinese have a big history of drinking the wowee sauce and then going to
make the magic sky-barge rise up and up shortly thereafter. BUT, if you are a
company leader (or the foreign captain coordinator) this rule does not apply to
you. If you dont fit that description (i.e. your dick
is big and you arent a dipshit collaborator) and you
blow even a 0.00001 in the machine (pictured left),
be prepared for a world of hurt. For those of you interested, you have
to swipe you badge 1. over the mag sensor, bend over and blow into
the sample funnel 2. while you have your photo taken, and see the
result output displayed at 3. This thing lights up like a pinball machine
if you are toasted. Hereby notified.
Ed. note: Its come to our attention that captain Dick Shoe has blown over the limit at least once, and where theres
once theres fire. The eyewitness reported that after the machine freaked out with lights and sirens, they
brought out the portable unit. He puffed in it (probably whilst it was turned off), signed a paper and shook
the company Drs hand. And that was that. Ok, so maybe he looked sober

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This here is your animal dick alcohol. Yes, those are animal penises in alcohol at a restaurant for
drinking. No word as to whether the little bits are testicles or if theyre additives to enhance the flavor
experience. Ill bet Dick Shoe oh never the fuck mind

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Crew Rest
Rest is a problem in a country where they treat people like robots. To compound this
situation, you, the foreigner, have a number of sensibilities that are shall we say foreign to
them (take a gander at Fatigue below for more insights). They expect you to follow the Chinese
model of being ultra-cooperative and accept whatever curveball it is they throw your way. The
needs of the company, as Francis would say, are above all. There is something Vulcan about this
mentality.
So, heres an example: there are often 3-4 hour breaks in your schedule (intentionally
built in or caused by delays) whereupon you are expected to go take rest at the hotel, which is not
considered duty time. (The good ol days of 8 hours of rest minimum between duty periods
depending on compensatory of courseis long, long gone lawai.)
Before the company built its dormitory this meant a trip to the Airport Hotel. The lobby
was OK, the restaurant had pretty good grub and the rooms sucked major ass. Now that the
dorms are up and running, you go there: the lobby sucks, the rooms suck and the company
canteen is a hepatitis case waiting to happen. Then, youre expected to just switch off I guess,
since your duty period has just been extended commensurate with how much rest you have just
been er, granted? Thats not the right word for it In any case, youre going to be flying
through the night on a 20-hour duty period. Dont fucking listen to them tell you it never happens
because it does happen. So yeah, roll with that and let me know how it turns out for ya.
Continuing on in this vein, take a look at the following excerpts of a recent CAAC
interpretation of what constitutes rest; its an eye opener and should cast light on the system
under whose auspices you, the expat, are proposing to operate [the full text is offered as
Appendix G]:
Recently, delay happened frequently, and some further delays even happened due to the
limitation of crews duty time which caused by delay. For conducting the operation of
improving the flight delay from CAAC, we make this announcement to notice crews
rest time during the duty time
C. When there are no passengers in the airplane during the large scope delay, after
arranged by Captain, with at least one crewmember guard on the position, the crew
members can take rest in the aircraft or in the suitable place that mentioned above, and
that period will be considered as exclude from the duty time. And also, the captain can
arrange the crew members to take turns to rest.
SAFETY FIRST! I cannot believe this one, its simply unconscionable. What a joke. OK, so the
governing body (CAAC) has decided that, due to the shit system they have that causes mega
delays, its now up to the flight crew to step in and take up the slack while complying with their
extremely unforgiving system of minutiae (that nobody else follows) and operate the aircraft in
an unrealistically tight envelope which is constantly being monitored? FUCK THAT.
Reading between the lines, whats really happening here is that the company is being
relieved of having to pay for hotel rooms. There is no reason for this especially with the
availability of cheap-ass hotels (which probably suck badly) in close proximity of airport
terminals in China. This new shit came to light after I left so I cant really say if it was ever an
issue; but, you can imagine the KTV parties the company section leaders are planning with all

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the money theyre saving. (For the uninitiated, KTV is a brothel/bar with karaoke singing in case
you need to woo your prey a little up front.)

The view from a cheap-ass Chinese hotel room that sucks badly in close proximity of an airport.

Scheduling
Take your contract and throw it out the window. Take the regulations and throw them out
the window. Take your brain and oh wait, you probably did that already, never mind LOL.

Pilot L gave me this example of a typical schedule which is totally LEGAL or not, but who the fuck cares
anyhow, its CHINA. TUE is labeled Standby in Chinese BTW, or in other words on reserve.
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Sigh, OK duke. So whats the problem with scheduling now

The problem is that you will have a schedule of 7 days worth of flying mixed with rest,
no more, no less, published on Saturday that usually* covers the ensuing week Sunday-toSunday. Theres no schedule bidding, no trip trading, no adding/dropping trips, etc. You will not
be able to plan your life beyond a week at a time in other words. Whats particularly lovely is
when you pull out-base duty that ends past Sunday you dont know what day you will be
returning.
But Duke, the contract says
Oh shut up.
*Sometimes, for reasons China, the schedule will only cover Sunday to Wednesday or Thursday
of the ensuing week. There is no way to tell the difference between this situation and having 4
days of rest in a row except for the fact that you will rarely have 4 days off in a row so there is
no way to tell. The company will not send out notices that they short-sheeted the ensuing
schedule either. How many times did I find out when they called me asking why I was not
checked in at dispatch? Many, and they never seemed to understand why; and so I got fined.

Problems with 4/4

OK, OK Duke. You made your point. So, Ill take the pay hit instead and do 4-on-4-off.
Itll minimize my exposure to flying over there and life will be good!
Am I not making myself clear here? Oh you poor assholes, little do you know whats in
store comin at ya with the 4/4 shit on its way down the pipes. The Chinese are not stupid when it
comes to certain things. Taking advantage of the system they reside above and abusing you is
one of them. Think for a minute, why dont they call it month on/off? Because, silly, they want
the 4-weeks you are flying to be skewered across the calendar month. In this way, they can get
around the 80-hour monthly limit. Youre going to be flying as close to 160 hours in 4 weeks as
the schedulers can get away with, which will be in the vicinity of 159:59:59 after they cut out the
taxi time and pencil whip some stuff.
Several pilots have complained about how fatiguing this is, but nobody really cares. Well,
they do care: they want you flying for cheapo. Several pilots have pointed out the fact that the
company is really just abusing the CAAC regulations for flight time by mishandling the
distinction between calendar month and 4-week period. Ha! You think thats going to make a
difference? After hounding dickshoe over and over, Captain W was only given the runaround.
We trying to fix thiss problems. Dont be worry. And the foreign pilot coordinator wont be
any help: Dude, they are trying to fix it. Who?? Well, you know, the company as a whole.
Yeah right. Neeext!
Another factor embedded in this flight time issue (like a shit thunderstorm lurking in a
toilet bowl of diarrhea) is to look at the paycheck situation: youre flying 160 hours in a 4-week
period right? Youve just taken a pay cut by accepting a 4/4 contract pattern and on top of that
agreed to relinquishing the provisions for overtime. Youre being paid for 80 hours which means
youre flying the other 80 hours FOR FREE. Being that youre flying the same number of hours
yearly that others who are making more than you for base pay are flying, it turns out to be a
pretty good deal for the company if you ask me.

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OK, I feel ya on all this Duke, but I really value my time off and Ill be home for 4 weeks
after flying like a banshee. Money isnt everything aye? Ill recover my sanity then and
Ill be good to come back!
I hate to be the one who breaks it to ya: its really not a 4/4 pattern. There are several
events during the year that erode your time off including the 2 months each year you do your sim
check. During these months you are not allowed to have time off. Next, you have to switch your
schedule pattern every year which also disrupts the 4/4 pattern (to allow others the chance of
having Christmas off). Lastly, theres the situation that has come up recently whereby the
company requires you to stay in the country while they renew your visa and other paperwork
which can take up to 2 weeks or longer. Do you see any problems with this? It aint 4/4.
Here is a report made to me by Captain R who was faced with the following pattern after
signing the new contract on June 1st 2013 (he chose 4/4 and wishes to hell he hadnt):
4 weeks ON
2 weeks OFF
4 weeks ON
4 weeks OFF
2 weeks ON
1 week OFF
5 weeks ON

We can all count here, and that sure as hell aint look like no 4/4 what Ive ever saw. Apparently
the Chinese, they done cant count them so good.
Raising the gear to talk about some other concepts that dont quite add up, its mentioned
several times in my book about these so called foreign pilot meetings right? After these meetings
are conducted, the Gaius Baltar of the airline frames up the minutes and sends them out to the
group. These communications are particularly compelling and full of nifty little gems like the
one below. In this case its a clarification of the rules governing the 4/4 cycle:

I see I see! I SEE.

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Above is a blurb from an actual eMail sent to the group by the foreign pilot *ahem*
coordinator. Can you believe it?
We realize that for those in the old contract it does not say anything about switching
cycles but also does not prevent it... We appreciate your patience and understanding.
What a joke. So, it doesnt really matter what is in the contract because anything not
specifically prevented is Maos open country. So, those pilots who rejected the new contract
(including pay raises) to avoid the new work rules JUST GOT FUCKED. Is any of this starting to
make any sense to any of yall out there yet? This is a big, Hello, Mc. Fly, if Ive ever
encountered one. Bring back Springer; Im done with this if you are.
ED. note: The new contract Duke mentions never materialized.

OK, lets see as of 1/2014 there are only two reviews, both from 2011, both a month apart, both of which
give 9 out of 10 hmmmm. A must try, huh? Ill make a WAG this is what the French say is, Le dubious.
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CAR part 61 and licensing

So, OK, I get a job with TJA, pass all the checks and ride it out a couple of months, and
then move on to a better company in China right? BZZZZZZT! Wrong answer!

Yes foreigner, In Soviet Russia, China OWNS YOU.

When you fly in a country like China, the airline owns your license lock stock and barrel. If you
want to change airlines, you have to ask permission. Guess what the answer is gonna be white
boy? Survey says, DING! You lose! Unless the airline you work for wants to let you go and the
airline you are applying for wants to accept you, youre up that creek I mentioned earlier that
runs the distance along a main artery to/from the airport (yeah, the Chinese shit-filled cement
creek). Furthermore, Airline A that you are working for now will probably demand tons of
money from airline B who may not wanna cough it up; and so thats the lowdown on how things
work in China. If you piss off the airline you are working for (pretty easy to do BTW), theyll
just be uncooperative and sit on your license with their pasty, flabby flat asses for ever and ever,
and youre done, dont come back to Big Red. The bottom line here is that you have to choose
wisely the first time, not take your second choice, and try again later if you dont get what you
really want. Or settle for Hainan Grope (Group) and shut the hell up about it when things suck
duck dick.
When Henan (not Hainan; Henan, the other H__nan airline in China) was shut down
several of the expat pilots working there sat for about a year (still getting paid though) without
flying. Tianjin Airlines got wind of them and set up a meet-and-greet. After a ton of money
exchanged hands behind the scenes, they were lent to Tianjin until Henan finally started up again.
Who knows when that will happen (Henen will never see its aircraft tires leave the pavement
ever again intentionally or not ooooh, I did not!). At least one guy from that group quit
shortly after finishing his training and went back home because he couldnt stand China any
longer. I dont blame him.
The next issue here is that nobody really knows the real answer to the question of the
way things really work with your license. Ive heard guys say that, They only own you for the
type youre on, so if you apply to another job with another type that isnt part of the company
youre working for now, youre golden and they cant keep you! I think this is pretty much
untrue based on the various conversations Ive had; but again, in China most things are rumor,
speculation and myth which makes pretty much everything and anything true if the right person
says its true or false. Good luck with all of that and let me know how it works out for ya!
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Training
As far as I can tell from my own experiences and from talking with others, training is a
mixed bag of do whatever and when we say youre done, youre done. There is no published
PTS handbook or completion standards of any kind. Go ahead and take that manual and just
throw it out the window ummm-kay? For the most part, youre going to have a CAAC sim check,
then a company sim check (with possible additional trainingyou may pass but need to do a
little more), then possibly 25 hours in the jump-seat, 25 in the right seat, 50 hours of line training
(left seat), 50-100 hours of new captain experience, and one last sim check just for good measure.
Theres several written tests in there as well.
It wont take 6 months to go through this process but then again it might. You can be sure
that at the end of it all you will be dumber than when you began. Oh, I promise that much. And
stop asking me about training pay; youll get what you get. Thats what I got at any rate, and
most of the other guys here too. It is what it is and will last for as long as it lasts, who cares what
is written in the agreement. Sometimes you go to full pay after youre released to new captain
experience, sometimes when you are finished with the final sim check its like I say about
most things around here, a mixed bag.
For any kind of ground school, expect a few weeks of someone talking to you in Chinese
for 8 hours a day with slideshows translated from Chinese to English using Google Translate.
Make sure you have a strong hangover and itll go twice as slow. Choice phrases Ive written
down for prosperity include stuff like, If event of flight delay meal to the ground could be
arranged. Youll cover the usual gamut of topics culminating in Dangerous Goose (Dangerous
Goods, i.e. HazmatBTW, thanks Capt L for correcting that opening title slide, now we have
nothing to laugh at until the second slide comes up). Most of the regulatory stuff is similar to
FAA mumbo jumbo with the occasional WTF?? thrown in.
So lets talk about the sim. First, lets deal the dirt on Chinese sim instructors: they do not
know how to teach and they wouldnt know what to teach if they knew what teaching was all
about in the first place. They just kindof sit there (probably half-drunk), program a bunch of
malfunctions into the control panel and yell at the FO a lot. Sometimes they will get
adventuresome and yell at you too, but this is usually fixed with a healthy dose of the ol evil eye
over your right shoulder. That usually shuts them up. There is no egalitarian concept of never
asking the student to do something the instructor couldnt do. In fact, most instructors couldnt
fly the sim if his life depended on it, believe me Ive seen it.

Remember how I just wrote something like, They just kindof program in a bunch of
malfunctions? I hope you have your A-game on because its time for Multiple-SystemsPage | 130

Failures-Hootenanny-Howdown-Checkride! Youre going to have the kitchen sink thrown at ya

(inoperative too by the way), so stay limber. If you happen to need to yell at the FO go for it
because they all seem to like this practice. I had to have a strongly phrased man-to-man talk with
my right-seater when I interviewed and Im pretty sure this put me over the top because the guy
sitting right seat was an annoying prick nobody liked, Chinese or otherwise. One of the other
captains who also passed told me he smacked him on the leg hard and yelled, What do you want
from me? Then he smiled and said calmly, No seriously dude, what do you want from me? I
would LOVE to see a scenario like one of these happen at a United Airlines interview or how
about SouthWest? Mmmm. Eeeeeeah, were gonna have to say, Thanks but no thanks, on this
one, so kindof get out of our building right now and never come back. Aw hell, maybe theyd
dig on you for being so ballsy and hire you on the spot? Maybe not so much.

ICAO Level 4???

When you go to China, I dont care if you spoke English in the womb and your greatgrandfather was William Damned Shakespeare: you WILL have to pass an ICAO English
exam. Besides the fact that this plumbs the depths of Chinese retardism, I dont think it has
anything to do with official ICAO certification to be perfectly frank with you.
The exam is a series of little airplane stories that cover some regulation or situation, after
which you have a number of multiple-choice questions to answer. At the end of this game of
WTF they give you a 5-10 minute face-to-face interview with wait for it wait for it some
Chinese dude or chick who can barely stitch a sentence together. Several foreign pilots from
English speaking countries have FAILED this exam! The way to pass the exam is to speak
like you are speaking to a baby no big words and no contractions
like arent or dont (contractions is a big worddooooh!).
Now having said all of this, imagine the extreme retardedness of the whole situation
when you consider the horrible R/T by Chinese air traffic controllers who cant fucking speak
English to save your life. AND THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT.
Ed. note: Were gonna have Duke beat up in the sub-level garage by a gang with lead pipes for the wait for it
part of the preceding section. Carry on, nothing to see here.
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Transition Training
Dont get suckered in by the promise of transitioning to a larger jet; the likelihood of it
happening is pathetically slim and the training really sucks. You aint going to the factory for the
course, thats for sure!
In the unlikely event that you do transition (as I said, a minor miracle in this 3-ring circus)
you are first going to be subject to a 3-5 year training bond. Initially the company was trying to
extract all the money from you up front. Oh yeah, they be charging you fo this shit. It aint fo free
dawg. Since then it seems the convention has been a payment plan of 1/10 th of the total each
month for 10 months (for the EMB190 it was essentially 2k deducted from your pay each month).
Now, the most likely transitions for foreign captains (which is not saying a whole lot)
have been from the EMB145 to the EMB190. Despite years of nagging and asking, there has
been no chance of transition to the Airbus. But, it seems this has changed lately with the first
round of 2 guys per year going to the 320 in the Fall of 2014. For transition to the EMB190 it
makes sense if you do the numbers: Tianjin has been and will be taking mass delivery of factory
EMB190s for years to come while (used) 320s are showing up one-zie-two-zie every couple of
years. So yeah, if you are an EMB145 jock who wants to move over to the EMB190, this is a
possibility for you. You are going to be subject to a $20K training bond.
There was one lucky SOB who, being the first foreigner to do any kind of transition
training at Tianjin, did so under the highly professional and competent auspices of Swiss
Aviation. The ground school and simulator training were fantastic he told me, informative and
quite adequate. The training conducted by the Chinese thereafter to fly the line not so much.
Swiss Aviation has since been kicked off property for some reason. The Chinese, in their
infinite wisdom, have decided that theyve got enough knowledge, skill, talent etc. to train
foreign pilots on their own. This is hubris to say the least; in a country that disdains sharing
knowledge and generally treats students as whipping boys, you can imagine the results.
Of the 7 pilots who have transitioned from the 145 to the 190, all have failed at some
point in a sim check and only 5 made it through. The first guy ended up a loner because the
foreigner he was paired with quit at the last minute. The lone captain passed everything on his
own up front with the Swiss and then sat at home for 2 months, got thrown back in the sim cold
and popped; he insisted they give him more training (which took an enormous amount of armtwisting) and passed a recheck. The first crew of two foreigners had some hydraulic failure that
they received improper training on; when demonstrating the event during the check they did it
the way they were taught and popped the ride.

The second crew of two did everything fine and passed according to the CAAC examiner;
then their instructor went to bat for them and convinced the examiner they needed more training.
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So they officially failed and had to go back again. There was a lot of talk that they would need
to pay for the recheck, and Id rather not think about it, but its good medicine to discuss the
facts. One guy was eventually allowed to retest, declined and quit.
The other guy was totally fucked in the ass, the particular brand of which consisted of
withheld paychecks for the period of time he had been in transition training. The company then
decided to offer him the chance to redo his training the catch? He would have to pay to the
tune of $30k out of pocket. Huh?!? Shit, you can get a full EMB190 course in the USA for
around $15k. He would similarly have to pay to return to the EMB145 which he was already
qualified to fly I guess he had to do that course all over again? Frankly, I think this was a
thinly veiled offer for him to quit.
Ed. note: Keep in mind if you do transition to another jet while abroad, when you come back to the US youre going
to have to do the type course all over again. A CAAC type is useless outside of China and pretty much
useless inside China because you cant go job hunting once youre hired. Reference FAA circular Ac6189e for more information, but youre essentially looking at a $15-20k bill to add the type to your home
license. Hereby notified!

So there I was, on my way into work, characteristically maximizing my time away from
the office down to the second. As I swiped in, Shoe noticed I was 3 minutes late. He
walked up and said so, whereupon I pointed at several different clocks around the
dispatch room: Yeah, by which accounting? Two of these clocks here show me early by
2 minutes. Needless to say the next day I came in they were all synchronized, yet still
not showing the correct time. Also needless to say that a week or so later they were all off
from one another again. Also also needless to say that about a month later they started
fining people $300 when they signed in late. What a bunch of knobheads.
Capt. Anon.
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The Chinese dont understand questions. Thats right, they dont understand the question
formation of a sentence, especially when you use a rising tone at the end to indicate you
are making an inquiry. You have to preface your sentence with I have a question or
follow it with That was a question. This way, youll be sure to be pissed off every time
you ask a question and still be unsure that you will get an answer without asking 5 times.
Capt. Duke

HHHIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Do you remember?
Do you remember that one time you were flying the line up and down the East Coast with
your favorite FO (maybe you were new on type or newly upgraded, or maybe it was when you
were an FO and you were flying with a captain) and after you landed the two of you shared one
of those looks. You know what Im talking about, the look that says, What the fuck just
happened?
You were probably flying happily along, not a care in the world, when suddenly you
were in the shit. I dont know, maybe it was a direct-to clearance you took without thinking that
made you wicked (but not so wicked that you couldnt save it) high and fast on the approach
because you had planned your descent to save the childrens future using idle thrust; or maybe it
was a workload intensive departure like the Canarsie out of JFK with a series of instructions
that well, you fucked one up and put in the wrong altitude or heading or something? Yall
caught it at the last second, but you still busted the instruction by a couple hundred feet or 20degrees of heading. Remember that? Remember how afterward you sat down with the FO and
wrote up a quick NASA form detailing the event so others could learn from your mistake and
you could cover your asses? Maybe you even made a quick call the Chief pilot or union rep and
they said not to worry, theyd look into it and take care of it. Maybe nothing ever came of it and
you carried on with greater wisdom and experience. EXPERIENCE.
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If you dont remember this, fuck you asshole, weve all done it so let your guard down
for a damned minute were at the bar/pub telling stories here. If you honestly havent had this
experience, I hope youre wise enough not to make the other mistake that you think it will never
happen to you. If it never does then youve made it through your career with a little aviation
fairie perched on your shoulder shitting good luck onto your epaulettes for 20 years and the
accomplishment means sod all to anybody besides you and maybe your wife/husband if she/hes
been bugging you to get her/him a new BMW
Anyway. I hope this event has happened to you, a lot, and youve worked out all the
little kinks in your flying because when you get to China you thought you were in the shit
before??? Oh ho! I have news for ya kooze. Experience in China is a concept that is viewed as
evil, to be avoided at all costs, and a harbinger of ill inauspiciousness.
For you, in China, experience is going to be:
bring the gear up and down at precisely the correct time or suffer the consequences
bank the aircraft at precisely the correct bank or suffer the consequences
keep the autopilot on at all times or suffer the consequences
start the engines without malfunction or suffer the consequences
operate enroute at precisely the correct g-load or suffer the consequences

Read on and look at the QAR list in Appendix O if you dont get it or believe it. We cover QARs
in a little bit. In fact, the chances of you NOT suffering the consequences are so slim, you better
have 2 fairie-shit-laden epaulettes just to survive because 1 wont do. #thefairieshitsluck

And experience.
And knowledge.
And proper training.
And a brain.

Ouch. Come on Duke, you saying they dont have what it takes?
Yes.
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Disciplinary Meetings
The absolute Mao-honest worst experience you will ever have as a pilot is a disciplinary
meeting with the Chinese. It will go something like this: youll be pulled into the office by a call
from Memory on your day off or before an afternoon flight. When you get there, they will sit you
down in a little office probably with Dick and a translator. The conversation will take place
mostly in Chinese except the part where the translator or the foreign pilot traitor I mean
backstabber damn that spell check AGAIN! I mean, coordinator, uses your back as a stepping
stone and converts what you say into Chinese and translates one out of every 5 words into
English. Good luck defending your actions for whatever QAR balderdash it is they claim youve
violated.

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Falsified Records
Capt. X was doing a little house cleaning in anticipation of sending out some job
applications and discovered he had misplaced his training record for transition to the EMB190.
He contacted Swiss Aviation Training in Zurich directly to request a new copy if for no other
reason than to have a thorough record of his time in China. You can imagine his surprise when
he received the following response:

Say what???

Of course he found the syllabus, invitation to training letter and other supporting
documents and promptly sent them to Swiss. The question he had remaining was exactly under
what conditions his name had been changed: was it scratched out? Was it whited-out and resigned? Hmmm!!!!!
Ed. note: See page 130-ish for a news story on this kind of widespread practice.
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Company Travel
I have to mention company travel to/from training. Sometimes you deadhead to an
outstation too. In any event, you arrive with the crew at dispatch and take the bus from there with
them. You can ride in uniform but I never did. Your name is supposed to be on the voyage report
(one of the many documents you are required to take with you). So, you figure things are pretty
cool, right? Not. When you get to the aircraft, the stewardesses will invariably point you to a seat.
Be careful though because youre probably going to have to get up again: your seat is not
ticketed so nobody knows where youre actually going to be sitting. I finally gave up and stood
in the aft galley (away from the masses of staring Chinese eyes) and waited for an open seat. Its
just easier to do it that way.

I Got Two Dead Engines and a Microphone

So it was time for a sim check. OK, lets do this. I showed up in the sim relaxed and
prepared, ready to meet whatever challenges awaited. Things were going well for a while until
we did the windshear demonstration on takeoff. I called, Windshear TOGA, and started going
through the procedure. As we exited the conditions I called for flaps up and **DING we had a
flaps fail. Just as this was happening we entered a second windshear situation whereupon I
advanced the thrust levers again and well, what do you do in this case? Youve been painted
into a corner: increasing performance after exiting a windshear condition, flaps that wont retract
and then a second windshear situation requiring high thrust. Yup, the flap speed was exceeded!
The instructor took it upon himself to start yelling at me. I told him to stop the sim. I
gathered my belongings, got out of the seat and pulled an Elvis: I left the building. The hotel was
just across the street. I went in the room, kicked up my feet and closed my eyes. A few minutes
later there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there was the FO, Captain, we can continue
the lesson. Id had time to clear my head so I decided, shit, why not? You only live once.
So I hopped in the sim, the instructor bumped us up to cruise altitude and bang, we were
flying. A second or two later, both engines rolled back with a dual failure. Sigh. So I started
calling for checklists nothing. I looked over at the FO and asked him what was up nothing.
He was sitting there with his eyes closed. I shook his shoulder and he looked at me. Im dead,
he whispered. WHAT?? So I rode the airplane down to the ground, ran a few checklists in my
head and landed it. Again the instructor began to yell that I had not run any checklists formally. I
put up my hand to stop him, gathered my belongings and walked out of the sim for a second time.

Where its at!

Come home to this hotel room after a hard day at the office. Its really nice.
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To all A320 pilots:

The fracture of takeoff light and landing light is frequently happened recently, and the service life of bulbs
is short. According to the investigation, there are many manufacturer of takeoff light and landing light, among which
Airbus approved to use the original bulbs of GE. The other bulbs are less reliable and fragile. In addition, the
installation of the bulbs without the peak torque strictly required by AMM and the operation of flight crew may both
influence the service life of bulbs. The operating recommendations for flight crew as follows:
To the operation of landing light, flight crew are suggested to try to reduce the time of using landing light
under the condition of following SOP. On ground, the landing lights are not suggested to continue use more than 15
min. Without special requirements, flight crew are suggested to turn on the landing light after the takeoff order been
received, and turn off it after landing in time.
Based on the maintenance manual and the reply of Airbus, the use of landing lights have following features
and requirements: when the aircraft is in air (takeoff and landing), due to the function of airflow, the landing light
will get enough cooling to prevent bulbs overheat; when the aircraft is on ground, the power of the landing light is
quite big, and generate heat without in time cooling, so when the takeoff instruction has been canceled or waiting on
ground, Airbus suggest to turn off the landing light to increase the service life of landing light and to prevent bulbs
overheat or other faults. We strongly recommend that not to turn on the landing lights more than 15 min.
Effective date: Aug. 22 2013 Expiration date: Aug. 22 2014
Hereby notified!
Flt. Dep. of TJA
Aug. 22 2013

Flt. Dep. of TJA

2013 8 22
Issued on Aug 22, 2013

Written by: Pan Lixin Reviewed by: Zhang Song

( 0 )
TT:0 copy

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Checkrides
Be prepared for the most ridiculous shit youve ever had to deal with in the realm of
aviation, or any other damned realm for that matter. Its kindof like you are Michaelangelo
making an honest attempt to paint the Sistine Chapel with finger paints and Big Chief paper
while doing an handstand in an earthquake, buck naked and with 100 toothless women trying to
give you a blowjob. Its some fucked up shit.
Among the more ridiculous criticisms Ive received was administered by Xu. During a
checkride with him he actually told me its dangerous to turn off the rotating beacon before the
engines are below 8% N1. His reasoning had something to with some retarded bullshit about the
safety of ramp personnel and how they could get sucked into the engines without this visual
prompt telling them the engines are running. Lets forget for a moment that if someone needs a
flashy red light to tell them an aircraft engine was running a second ago less than 5ft away
yadda yadda... Xu, if you are reading this, you are a dipshit of the highest caliber. Do you need
medicine to be that stupid, or are you naturally a fucktard?
Anyhow, just to prove my point that this fuckwad had no clue what he was talking about,
I timed the beacon to see just what the real-world application of Safety Mao-ism was giving us. I
timed 10 flashes of the beacon which came to 12.9 seconds lets round it off to 13. So, thats
1.3 seconds per flash. Now, for the engines to spool down from idle (~22%) to 8% takes about
10 seconds with CF34s (what we got slung under the EMB190 wing); but you never turn off the
beacon at exactly the same time you shut down the engines. My shutdown flow from engine
shutoff to the beacon switch usually takes me at about 8 seconds, which means that from the time
I normally turn off the beacon to this Chinese-retard mandated safe N1 speed there elapses
maybe 2 flashes of the beacon (more likely just 1). If someones safety actually depends on 2
extra flashes of the red beacon, Im a steaming pile of Xian prostitute feces in a fucked up
Chinese toilet bowl at the China Eastern Hotel. Please, China, go fuck yourself with a ginormous
fuck-stick and make it hurt.

So there I was on the last leg to my home in the US: DONE with China for good. I was
getting on a SouthWest flight and the lead FA smiled and welcomed me aboard. I
mentioned I was very happy to be home and that Id been in China for the last couple of
years. She asked, What on earth for? I responded, I guess I needed my head
examined and I heard it was really cheap over there. Mission accomplished!
Capt. Anon.
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LOL China

Ed. note: These were the pilots who passed the checkride segment with dual engine failure and windshear on final.
Page | 141

CA Squadron Leader
Not everybody makes it through training at Tianjin Airlines. Somehow, somewhere they
do have standards (applied only to foreigners of course). What those standards are, who knows
and who cares because they are random and flippin crazy. The following gut wrenching email
was sent out by a foreign captain who didnt quite make it. Some didnt like him, others thought
he was just uptight but otherwise OK; nevertheless he was a human being trying to do his best
for his family.
Hello Dear Friends:
Let me say Goodbye and Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your friendship.
Unfortunately I could not accomplish the dream and goal that we all shared, when almost one
year ago I decided to apply and work for TJA. I am really thankful to TJA for the
opportunity. I almost made it.
After approving all the checks and process, up to New Captain, I could not make it in the
very last step, the Solo Captain Line Check.
I recognized it was my fault because I had to communicate better and on time about the
very critical family situation I had to deal with, when my family were threaten by
delinquency. That affected me a lot. On my anxiety to finish the training and go ASAP to
help my family,I wasted all the opportunities TJA gave me and in none of them I was
psicologically prepared for the checks and I should have said so and take the appropiate and
definite solutions before taking the checks.
I respectfully suggest to all of you, if you have a critical situation like the one I had, do
not try to hide it and solve it before flying, otherwise there might be even more critical
consequences. Each of us should recognize our personal limit and not take chances like I did.
I will be leaving China in the next few days and after solving completely my problem
with the appropiate help, I would be applying to fly in another airline. I wish I would have
solved completely my situation before, to acquire the appropiate emotional and psicological
state we all need to fly, to accomplish the dream we all shared, I wish that would have been
possible.
Just a final contribution and suggestion : please, don't let this happen again to anybody,
try to give support to any of your colleagues that might be in a critical situation, it hurts so
much to have reached up to New Captain and would not make it.
Best wishes for all of you and God bless you all and your loved ones.
Sent from my iPhone
Your friend from XXXXXX,
XXXXXX

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Apparently this guy was chided by someone in the office after sending this heartfelt letter
because we all received a follow-up shortly after:
Sorry it was a mistake to send my message to all of you.
I apologyze.
Best wishes for all of you, enjoy your flying and God bless you all and your loved ones.
XXXXXX, your friend from XXXXXX.
I had this one kid sitting on the right-seat with about 800 hours total; the kid in the jumpseat had 250. The right-seat kid was schooling the 250 hour student and giving him a
hard time yet he himself couldnt even talk on the radio: his R/T was atrocious. At one
point the controller asked our DME to a fix which happened to be 90 miles and he read
back 19 I schooled him that these kinds of communication errors are why we read back
Niner-Zero or One-Niner and then he had the audacity to make a comment about
my English! And Im a friggin native speaker! Can you believe this arrogance?
Capt. Anon.

Billy, have you ever been in a Chinese massage parlor locker room before?
[Stop smiling you sexist racists.]

A day off in China is not like a day off in the West. Theyre going to have you doing shit.
Lots and lots of shit. The following is a non-exhaustive list of activities that get planned
during your days off: medical checks, foreign pilot meetings, visa renewal, other
company meetings, training Dont like it? Tough shit. These are not considered duty!
Capt. Anon.

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QAR Country
Ive been threatening to have this conversation with you for a while;
now its time to sit down and have a frank little man-to-man chat. If you
skipped ahead to find this section, welcome to the show. If youve cruised up
to this page, bumping along at FL340, well then howdy.
For those of you not in the know, heres some general concept 411
smack-down action for ya: the QAR (Quick Access Recorder) is a black box
that records a plethora of aircraft conditions between brake release to brake set.
Many of these parameters can be related back to the pilots being that they monitor the flight
controls. Typically, in the West, this data is used by maintenance to see what the aircraft has
been going through etc. Alternatively, when processed by the flight standards department the
data is stored under lock-and-key, de-identified and compiled to improve the training department.
In any case, the QAR data can be quite useful in regards to many aspects of airline organization
and the development and implementation of policy.
In China the QAR is used as a little snitch and the data from your flight gets
egregiously mishandled. The companies over there have set up a host of parameters that
typically fly right in the face of the (Western) manufacturers recommendations and limitations,
erring on the side of inhumanly conservative. They then tabulate who has been violating these
parameters, when, and the kicker: how much to punish the pilots who bust them.
To put this retarded plan for improving safety into effect, the aircraft digital records are
downloaded from each flight by a company maintenance tech and spirited away to the flight
department. There, a team of non-pilot analysts pours over the data of every flight from every
day looking for infractions based on their little set of parameters. (Of course we all know this is a
fools errand for improving safety.)
Now, should the safety department find a busted parameter, they take note of it and
determine if the pilot needs talking to and punishing. In most cases the
answer is maybe. Probably. But definitely maybe. Some infractions,
being worse than others, carry commensurate penalties of more rather than
less. The pilots attitude is also taken into consideration during these
investigations and in the case he feels he is being treated unfairly he may
carry an additional fine. In other words, you are being called out and you
have to like it. Big Brother is alive and well in China, and he is policing
your heart as well as your job performance.
The way QARs are treated (punishment if you bust one) is direct proof that China is the
punitive and obedience centric culture I have been talking about all along and will continue
pointing out and commenting on as we bump right along through my memory dump herein. Big
mystery uncovered! Theres no chance this bell will/can ever be un-rung, so get it out of your
head that maybe you could go over to China and be a positive influence for change. There is no
way you will ever make a real difference in China (thus the inception for Captain Hs Rule #1
above that I scorn). You are there to fly an airplane, dodge bullets and get out when the time for
gettin has arrived; youll know when that time has come. There is too much inertia behind this
cultural MO being that its rooted in just over 5000 years of Thats the way things are done in
China.
To add insult to injury, if you are a person of status, the QARs dont apply to you. These
select persons can additionally pay a line tech to erase the data when they mess up. Lastly,

Page | 144

theres a standing policy that all the instructors data is scrubbed. Having said that, YOU, Mr.
Westerner, will NEVER be an instructor, so cut yer whining and shut up.
Lets take a look at a case in point about how dangerous this QAR policy really is. Airbus
pilots who are up on their systems snuff should find the QAR timer for gear down after takeoff
particularly amusing (we should all find it fairly alarming actually). The company QAR limit is
set for XXX-seconds; however, taking note of the MEL procedure for brake lock-out you will
find that 60 seconds are required for wheel spin-down before initiating the retraction sequence.
This is to prevent damage to the gear bay in case of a blowout: ya dont want spinning debris in
close proximity to hydraulics lines etc after all. A QAR was issued to one of the Airbus pilots for
this; they didnt dare fine him though because he probably would have bashed someones head in.
Can you imagine the pressure that is put on Chinese pilots to comply with this rule under normal
situations and then break it when flying with a foreigner? Its insane, and its developing a bipolar pilot group among the domestic employees. How would you like to be locked in an
argument with the FO during 2nd segment about leaving the gear down? Its HAPPENED.

This is part of the login process; yes, you are reminded of your QAR count every time you do the flight prep.

Please see Appendix M for a discussion of QARs for the foreign pilot fleet in 2012. No
data was ever divulged of the Chinese pilots QAR records because youd probably see fucking
carnage.
You can find a sample QAR list in Appendix O (Yes, there is an Appendix O tssssss)

Holy mackerel, I GOT 1 RIGHT FINALLY!

Page | 145

So there I was, dear reader, flying right seat for the infamous Le Gong (China Southern
career FO turned Tianjin 320 captain). It has since been termed the 3-QAR day
among the foreign pilot mafia. Of the 4 sectors we flew that day, 3 had massive QAR
violations. In Foo-joe he got a GPWS Glideslope aural; in Ching-dao he had a
1400fpm descent rate at 500 feet; and in Tianjin he landed with excessive touchdown
speed and had to roll it to the end After we pulled into the gate he jumped on his phone
and made some calls. A few minutes later he smiled at me broadly and said, No more
QARs! Whoever it was he spoke with on the other end of the phone had assured him the
QAR data would be vacated. Wonderful!
Capt Anon

We were on approach for ILS and descended to intercept alt. According to the FO we
were too low. I told him we werent, according to the chart, and continued on without
incident. He didnt like being corrected so he made a complaint about it to a company
leader. He asked not want to fly with me anymore, and as a result I ended up with 2 days
of line checks. At the end the instructor said I had no problems and agreed that the FO
was uncooperative.
Fast forward to a later date: the FO had become a new CA and wanted to fly with me.
Smelling an obvious rat I said, No way, and insisted the scheduler re-crew the flight. It
was foolishness to be honest, but best in my opinion not to tango with crew members who
have bad attitudes. So, I continued to fly another day.
Capt Anon
Captain B was struck by lightning 20 times on approach into one of the coastal airports
during training with an instructor. He was probably lucky to have a job in China when
all was said and done, though he was removed from flight status for a couple of months.
Capt Anon
I was letting the FO land I know, I know. Anyhow, I looked over and his feet were on
the floor, not the rudder pedals. I didnt let any of them fly again after I noticed that little
gem.
Capt Anon
Page | 146

QAR Comparisons
A glance at the charts below should give you an idea not only about the importance the
Chinese put on QAR tally but that they are very concerned with comparing Chinese pilots to
Foreigners. This is a month-by-month comparison between the two pilot groups at Tianjin
Airlines for 2012 and 2013. Take from it what you will, and bear in mind there is nothing to
verify if these numbers are accurate. Apparently, these are the number of QARs per pilot per
month. I have no idea why the averages are all over the map. I have no idea what they are
actually trying to see with these statistics. I have no idea of anything here beyond the fact they
are tallying these numbers and keeping track. [Also reference Appendix M for more QAR info.]
Chinese Pilots
Foreign Pilots

Chinese Pilots: 0.520 12-month average

Foreign Pilots: 0.539 12-month average

Chinese Pilots: 0.078 12-month average

Foreign Pilots: 0.087 12-month average
Page | 147

Were pretty sure the FO suffered a brain hemorrhage here.

Update: And You Aint Gonna Believe This One

Fuck. OK. So, there they were, a Chinese captain in the right seat, an instructor in the
left seat and a SO student in the bucket. They were flying into that mountainous coastal city
halfway down I cant remember the name of. Anyhow, in cruise the instructor decided to swap
seats with the SO and let him have a chance flying the airplane from the big boys seat the
REALLY big boys seat, the LEFT one with a regular captain sitting in the right seat. You
know, just for shits.
They finished descending and started getting vectored onto the ILS and everything was
going fine until they were suddenly way high on the glideslope with the instructor screaming and
yelling at the (unqualified) SO. The captain in the right seat was mute and petrified. The
instructor leaned over the SOs shoulder, disconnected the autopilot and pushed forward on the
yoke. Down they went, up went the glideslope indicator, and suddenly they were wicked low.
With the instructor screaming for blood behind his seat, the SO pitched up hard, over corrected
and suddenly they were wicked high (again). An oscillation or two later, they TOGA-ed it to go
around.
As the thrust advanced, the tower issued a right turn and the SO dutifully turned left.
With another barrage of screaming, a right turn was finally accomplished with an over-bank
situation BANK ANGLE, BANK ANGLE from the GIPWIZ
Afterward, Tianjin Airlines fined these guys $10,000 each which is a little on the lenient
side in my opinion considering the lives of passengers were in danger. Do you remember the
Pinnacle crash? That was a ferry flight, though peoples homes were at risk when the plane came
to rest in a neighborhood. These guys should lose their licenses, but that will never happen
because China is desperate for pilots. SAFETY FIRST! Morons.
Ed. note: Keep in mind the impression that China tends to sweat the small stuff and lets the big stuff go by without
batting an eye. Masters of the insignificant is the saying if we remember correctly.
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SOP, Safety Nazis and the Flight Deck Jumble Jungle

Being the punitive, obedience centric culture that China is, the SOPs are used as an
opportunity to enforce flight technique on the pilot group. In the same way that rules written
down have little bearing on every day behavior and conduct, the SOPs are not as much a book as
they are an oral tradition. This nebulous oral knowledge bank gets altered every time a company
leader (Xu or HNIC for example) or instructor (like Ahn) comes up with a halfwit idea or makes
a mistake flying and tries to cover it by telling the student something inane and insane. This
practice of oral dissemination has resulted in a confused, mishmash of procedure and knowledge
that will take forever to unravel. You will hear the craziest shit from FOs who will bet their
mothers life that what instructor so-and-so said is Gods awful truth.
So, you end up with a cornucopia of little FO tips and tricks that make your job way more
difficult and irritating than it needs to be. Some of the choicer bits include 2 that will forever
remain chiseled on the stone tablet that records eternal and deeply felt, pilot induced WTF:
1. Whenever you use the WX radar its irradiating your nutsack and youre going
sterile and catching cancer, so dont use it unless you absolutely have to (I have
no clue how to reconcile this with their casual attitude toward the massive doses
of radiation one receives during every medical check);
2. You should not fly too fast because the noise generated by the windshield wipers
will damage your heart (again, how this airspeed consciousness resolves with
their otherwise chokingly rapid rate of smoking, I dont know).
I shit you not about either one of these pearls. The FOs I heard them from swore up and down on
their ancestors graves that they are true, proven and latent dangers to flight. One FO who was a
pilot in the PR of C air force tried to sell me the story that this one time in band camp when he
was walking in front of a military bird that was testing its radar he suddenly felt hot. I fell out of
my 5-point harness. Poor kid, he actually believed it too, got all pissy at me for laughing.
Here are some more great FO tips and tricks Ive picked up along the way to keep you
going:

If the WX radar isnt pointed straight down you arent really seeing the weather; to really
see what mother nature is throwing your way, point that bitch straight down into the mud
like the dirty whore she is!
With the WX radar now properly pointed straight down, any red areas represent extreme
danger and should be avoided at any cost, with prior ATC permission that is, like a little
puppy dog wetting itself with excitement.
If your airspeed is anywhere in the vicinity of green-dot (this is EMB190 talk) youre
going to flip over and burst into fucking flames.
Similarly, if your airspeed is anywhere near the vicinity of V mo/Mmo, a deathray from
space will strike you down on the tarmac and your family will forever live in great shame.
You should follow the glide-slope beam down to 10 feet on visual approach.
You should confirm ATC instructions every time all the time at least once and maybe
twice just for good measure, then confirm them a couple of times with the Captain too.
Just confirm everything with ATC even if (especially if) you did understand it.
But, the instructor (who is a very nice man) told me _____________.

Page | 149

Never EVER turn off the autopilot, and if you do, never ever EVER turn off the autothrusts too or you will go straight to Chinese Hell and freeze (brrrr!)
If ATC tells you, Fly heading 123 you can kindof just sorta point in that direction, and
if youre really shit hot, track 123 instead because we all know thats what the controller
really wants.
The same philosophy above applies to airspeed.
If you dont have some fix programmed direct-to in the FMS while on radar vectors
youre going to Chinese Hell to keep company with the assholes who turned off the autothrusts.
Turbulence = Hands on the Control Wheel NOW and pray to your pagan god the
autopilot doesnt disconnect.
Hey Jim, ask ATC for right turn heading 170 Control, China Dragon 7123
requesting right turn heading 190.
Jim, can you ask ATC for course offset 5 miles right side due to weather Control,
China Dragon 7123 request 3 miles right offset due to weather.
Im sorry, we dont do (insert fundamental rule of flight) that way in China.

So, yeah. That list pretty much pissed me off writing it and to be perfectly honest I hope it pissed
you off reading it.

+1 for Safety
There is a common trend at least in modern Chinese culture to eliminate unsafe
conditions from life as though they were evil spirits to be shunned and cast into the mighty fires
of hell, never to return to the light of day. This very odd behavior must be the twisted, maligned
result of intense international pressures and criticisms in the news. Whatever the genesis, the way
this cultural index card manifests itself on the flight deck is a nebulous concept they call safety
margin. In this way, the Chinese have conceived that the ignorant foreigners who designed the
transport category airplane, CRM, SOP and cockpit management forgot to set the safety margins
high enough. The way Westerners perceive this situation is that there is an intrinsic element of
danger to the real world, a fundamental unpredictability to the future that becomes greater the
farther forward you plan, a general state of entropy to things in which you do your best to seek
and establish order in the midst of chaos, and one treads water or improvises whenever
necessary to make ends meet. This is rationalism aka pilot judgment, the operative concepts at
the heart of risk management.
Having completely missed the finer points of how reality works and mistakenly judged
that the CAAC can regulate these features when they are blindly stumbled across, the Chinese
have come up with an elegant answer to the shortsightedness of Westerners who forgot to make
the operating envelope large enough to compensate for inept Chinese people who want to be
pilots and a fearsome public opinion at large that is ready to blow up at any minute. This is the
concept of +1 for safety, and here is how it has been implemented (you stupid foreigners):
V1-5: when taking off, you have to call V1 early by 5 knots because well, just because its safer
to call it 5 knots earlier, obviously. Itd probably be even safer to call it 10 knots early, but lets
not get ahead of ourselves; Chinese fire-drill training is tomorrow. Now, it doesnt matter that
you have an 11,000ft runway in front of you, just keep on calling V1 early. It also doesnt matter
that the extra time it takes to accelerate to the real V 1 (milliseconds to be sure) is now a missed
Page | 150

opportunity to abort the takeoff on the runway as opposed to having to go fly with (insert dire
aircraft malfunction here). It also doesnt matter that you just accepted an intersection takeoff.
MAX Thrust: if you ever need MAX thrust for anything, firewall that bitch. It doesnt matter if
FADEC scheduled it automatically, or ATTCS, or whatever crazy shit you Westerners are talking
about, FIREWALL that bitch. This is the one instance its OK to have auto-thrust disconnect.
Dont forget to bring the thrust back later (much much later due to safety margin) so you dont
overspeed the flaps oops.
Flap Speeds: if you arent 1000knots above flap maneuvering speed and 1000knots below VFE
you are a fucking Western pilot idiot. Now let me show you how we do things in China
Turbulence Speed: the second you encounter a little blip, jump on the speed and get that sucker
slowed down to MAX Turbulence penetrating speed. Then, no matter how severe the
turbulence gets, keep it at MAX Turb.
Offset/deviate: need to deviate due to a thunderstorm and lightning ahead? OK, lets turn
around and go back to our departure airport. Seriously??!? Yes, seriously. Everyone does it.

So, there you have the concept of +1 for safety. Follow it or face the consequences, hereby
notified.

and pull the trigger until that motherfucker goes click

Page | 151

Dear all, Pls read the latest notice from Flight Safety NoticeFlight Net
Ivy
Safety Notice
201438
Notice on Strictly Perform Approach and Landing Criteria
To all pilots,
Recently complex weather conditions and sudden hazard weather increase, the typhoon and thunderstorm weather
in southern coastal cities cause short time heavy precipitation; strong wind in northern cities causes tailwind,
crosswind, and wet and slippery runway; lightning strike, low visibility and hot weather have influence on central
and northern part of North China, and the Yangtze River Basin and its southern region, these weather conditions
mainly impact on the cities of our company flights are: Shanghai, Nanning, Nanjing, Hangzhou, Fuzhou, Xiamen,
Chongqing, Guiyang and etc. North China airport such as Shijiazhuang, Hohhot and etc. should pay attention to
strong wind, and strengthen prediction and coordination on windshear and go-around.
Meanwhile, according to statistics by Flight Quality Center, flight issues caused by aircraft malfunctions has been
increased, there are 35 unsafety events caused by mechanical malfunction in first half year, which accounting for
21% unsafe events.
The safety risk index increase on August, which is civil operation peak season, and easily get serious unsafety
events.
On August 2010 there was the 8.24 ultra-serious transport accident, seven serious incidents, and 23 ordinary
incidents. The number of serious incidents accounted for 25% of the year, the number of serious events occurred
within those two months reached a quarter of the total number of serious events.
On August 2011 there were 29 ordinary incidents.
On August 2012 there were 31 serious unsafety events in total, including 26 ordinary incidents.
On August 2013 there were 33serious unsafety events in total, including 30 ordinary incidents.
August is operation peak season, while the thunderstorm, typhoon and other bad weather frequently happened in
this month. According to the history, the typical safety risk index events including, runway overshoot/ excursion,
CFIT, bird strike, lightning strike, air turbulence, tail/ engine/ wing lip/ belly strike, engine shutdown, runway
invasion, FOD hit and etc.
These factors just mentioned increase the safety pressure, we remind all pilots of avoiding fatigue operation, and
flight by rules. It is not allowed approach and landing exceeding the meteorological standard.
Hereby notice!
Flight Quality Center
Aug. 8th 2014

201498
Applicable mode: all aircraft
Expiration date: Sep. 8th, 2014

Flt. Dep. of TJA

201488
Issued on Aug. 8th . 2014

:
0
Written by: Liu Lvlv Checked by: Yin Rui
(TT: 0 copy)
: (Lvlv)
: 201488 16:50:

813
: 3(Nancy); 1(Yolanda); (Betty); (Ivy)

Page | 152

Wow. I wonder if theyre shipping chemical oxygen generators too?

The lesson here I guess is that you better start inspecting the cargo hold every leg every day.

Alcohol Consumption
There's been some confusion about the length of time prior to perfuming flight duties that
a pilot can consume alcohol. As a general rule the company's policy is 24 hours prior
with no consumption. 12 hours is the CAAC's regulation. One can think of it as 24 hours
being the soft limit and the 12 hours as the hard limit, just like the QARs.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????????
[Excerpted from foreign pilot meeting minutes]

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Punishment Criteria for Violating Flight Discipline

Ok sports fans, its time to get all DJ Jazzy Jeff or rather, not. The Chinese, in their
infinite wisdom, have decided to micromanage your life outside of work as well as at work. Here
is a big portable floor poster that has been placed all around the crew rooms in all of the bases:

You heard it here first icing fans: dont blow out the candles on your birthday cake within
8 hours of flight on pain of certificate action by the company.
Cant miss this big ol floor-to-head poster in the dispatch room... Hereby notified!
Ed. note: For those of you who blow this off and dont believe Capt Nukem, please read the following SMS message
that was blasted to the pilot group.

To all pilots, one employee of HNA went out after dinner and caused a serious accident.
Given this, company will launch inspection on execution situation of daily schedule and
disciplines. Hereby notified that everyone should follow daily schedule system strictly
and follow all disciplines and requirements of company.
Of course this concern has nothing to do with flying 15 or 17-hour duty days. In this
special case that transcends the principle of the rules they themselves have established, you are
on the hook to go flying a full schedule of these brutal work periods back-to-back over the period
of 4 weeks skewered across the demarcation line between the last-of and first-of. One Captain
complained he had consistently flown 147 hours in 4-week shifts in 2013, and this is perhaps
exceptional only in that others have averaged higher. (Its also the case that you can be tasked to
do a medical check the next day after a grueling duty.) So, hereby notified.

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Dear all,
Foreign Pilots Center made a random check to see if you finished reading
Flight Safety Notice. We found there are several pilots who didn`t read all the
notices. We hope all of you could read the notices which were issued from July 1st
to Sep 30th. We will have another check after Oct 8th. For the ones who didn`t read
the notices, they will be punished more heavily.

You can read the notices from Flight Safety Page. There are two operations
to find the page(see attachment):
1)
This page may be accessed by going to SiteMap on FlightNet and
clicking on the Flight Safety Notice link on the second section of the page, left
hand side.
2)

You can read the notice from Flight Safety Page on FlightNet.

Each time there is a latest notice, I will send it and remind you to read it by
email. Once you got my email, you have to read it in 7days. For some important
Notices, you have to read it in 3 days.
Regards!
Ivy

A friendly reminder. [Random LOL!]

Page | 155

Rolling TO with no intersection data? Wow I guess!

So there I was in Shento, waiting for takeoff at the approach end of the runway. We had a
slight delay, maybe 5 or 6 minutes. As we were stopped at the hold bars on a little delay, another
Bohai jet came sauntering up to an intersection a couple of hundred feet upwind. They lit up like
a gay dragon Christmas tree and entered the runway, pointed their shiny nose so bright down at
the departure end, spooled up and went rambling on their way.
Huh. I sat there for a minute chewing on what Id just seen. Something was bothering me
about it something was bother.. ing me. Huh.
Hey, hand me that performance binder for a minute would you?
The SO handed it to me. Its all in Chinese of course
Hey, open it to the pages for Shento would ya?
He did.
Hey, I dont see any takeoff data for that intersection.
We dont have takeoff data for that intersection, Captain.
WHAT???
There is no takeoff data for that intersection, Captain.

Well, isnt that nice? I couldve seen it if he at least made a half-assed attempt to taxi back a
little on the runway but no such effort. Damned rolling takeoff too So, the next time youre
a passenger in a Chinese jet with a Chinese captain you can be sure that your safety will be
compromised in the interest of being totally retarded. I hope youre Chinese so it doesnt bother
ya too much.

Yeah, Im just going to have to disagree with you for a little bit on the principle of this one.

SOMEBODY is getting a visit from the I-need-a-beer fairy.

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A QAR Case Study, Innocuous

Heres a case study a friend told me happened to him. This is such a typical story and
almost a daily occurrence over there; similar things have happened to me. Its enough to drive
you mad.
So there we were, cleared for takeoff. I advanced the thrusts, and off we trundled down
the runway. I had noticed that the FO was a little weak (as almost all of them are), but his
callouts were OK and we hadnt had any big issues yet. Just as long as I didnt die we were fine.
He called V1 and rotate so I pitched us up off the deck. As we began climbing, everything was
pretty much normal: the gear came up and I called for NAV mode. Everything seemed to be
going according to the rhythm and pattern Im familiar with in the airplane.
At about 12,000ft The FO turned to me and said, Im sorry captain. His statement and
somber look took me completely by surprise. I asked him what the heck he meant. Im sorry.
When you asked for NAV mode I accidentally selected FLCH. Now, at 400ft on takeoff most of
the time youre calling for heading mode in China so when I asked for NAV (so the FMS would
navigate) his brain engine mustve thrown a friggin rod; Ill say it again, these people are
literally slaves of habit (punished for breaking from it) and incapable of dealing with curveballs.
So when I called for NAV it just confused the shit out of him. He jumped to select something
(quick! anything!) and ended up hitting FLCH. In the EMB190 this is a climb mode that takes
you out of TOGA and pitches the nose down to accelerate and capture a pre-selected speed while
simultaneously throwing your lateral mode into ROLL if you dont have HDG/NAV already
selected. I had noticed ROLL when we were at 1000ft, but didnt really process it as the result of
something amiss. At the time I thought hed accidentally hit HDG twice (a different way to
select ROLL).

No captain, Im really sorry. I also started to bring up the flaps early, and we might have
a hard warning QAR. Now things were starting to get a little serious. You did what? So, we
discussed it a bit. Apparently, he was really flustered when he accidentally selected FLCH. He
hurriedly communicated with the tower who was shipping us to departure and without thinking
Page | 157

started retracting the flaps on schedule. Being that this chain of retardism began around 400ft,
and being that the rank and file over here are mostly incapable of doing any analytical thinking
(mostly), his mindset was that we had an impending a shitstorm.
I considered this for a while and then started analyzing for myself whether or not we had
a problem. So, I asked at what altitude he hit FLCH: shortly above 400ft. I asked what he did
next: he said he made several radio communications. When did you retract the flaps? After I
talked to tower. I asked how many seconds it was to climb between 400ft and 800ft. He had no
clue. By this point in my mind I pretty much knew we were safe, no problem; its a matter of at
most 3 or 4 seconds to climb through those altitudes and theres no way he could have done what
he was telling me he said he did. I wasnt letting on though, I let him squirm a while longer

The big questions we should all be asking with this scenario are #1. why the FO didnt
apprise the captain of the mistake when it was made with a quick comment to that fact; and, #2.
why he didnt then offer to select FPA (PITCH) to fix what he perceived to be a problem. Lastly,
the biggest question is the root of this conduct which I attribute to a fundamental flaw in Chinese
behavior which rears its ugly head on the flight deck all the time, and its not being addressed:
snap reactions. Rather, its being compounded by fear induced by punishment for transgressing
the QARs. I think a call is in order for the FAA to put pressure on the CAAC to fix these glaring
problems in Chinese aviation. They are flying in our airspace and at our airports after all, and as
their economy grows so San Francisco will be repeated. Its a matter of time. Just wait until these
knob-heads start to flex their muscle internationally. Oh boy.
Page | 158

A QAR Study, Maybe Not So Innocuous

What happens when you have a viciously punitive system for pilots (and other employees)
who make mistakes? What happens when you fine pilots money for operating outside of an
arbitrarily tight set of parameters? What happens when you have a widely publicized department
tasked with constantly monitoring and reviewing said parameters with a team of non-pilots who
pride themselves on finding said mistakes and consider tallying the numbers and publishing them
with the names of the guilty an act of safety? What happens when everyone has this sword of
Damocles emphasized, constantly referred to and reminded of in their daily lives? What happens
when this sword is unyieldingly referred to as a safety measure? We all know the answer:

On your marks get set

Go!

Uh-huh uh-huh I see and??? Aw jeeze. OK, fine, lets do this. So what were the
weather conditions? Icing? No mention so we dont know. I guess we have to assume it was
clear and a million (pfft, yeah right, China clear?) and the vibrations were the indication of a
mechanical problem. Fine.
Page | 159

OK, great theory. They didnt run a checklist yet at least. How many of us, at the first
indications of a problem, escalate to defcon 1 and run a checklist? No, of course not; we trouble
shoot for a minute, see whats going on and then do something about it. God forbid you run the
wrong checklist after all.
But, it is interesting that they didnt disengage the auto-throttle, and worrisome they did
nothing when the indications returned outside of the limitation. I think most of us would have
disengaged the auto-throttle almost without thinking. Isnt it one of the lessons we learned from
Alaska 261: you should disconnect the automation when you think youve got a problem? This
crew thought they had a problem initially but they didnt stick with it. Huh. I wonder why?

Hmm. Now things are getting a little interesting: they finally disconnected the autothrottle, and then reconnected it. Did they run the checklist at this point? Im inclined to say
maybe because the checklist calls for the pilots to reduce thrust until the vibrations for that
engine show green, and then advance as necessary. If the vibrations increase again, then reduce it
to return to the green and leave it there. So, maybe But it is a bit troubling that they
reconnected the auto-throttle; it would seem that having the auto-throttles disengaged was a
configuration they were not comfortable with (which harkens right back to Asiana at SFO).
Page | 160

OK, finally. They disconnected the automation and left it off. Good.

With all of this discussion about not running a checklist you have to wonder if the crew
divulged this fact during their de-briefing. Perhaps, and if it was the case that they didnt pull the
QRH then yes, they should have run it.
But, there is a really important question not being asked here: does Tianjin Airlines have
any theory as to why they didnt run a checklist and why they were so quick to re-engaged the
automation after having released it? No, and the answer has nothing to do with CRM or checklist
use and everything to do with a hostile work environment, in my opinion. If you are afraid of
dealing with a situation because of the possible repercussions for your actions, the impulse is to
sweep the problem under the rug and not deal with it properly. It becomes a self-fulfilling
prophesy.
Page | 161

OK, this was not entirely explained in the facts above. Regardless, the question here
again is why. My theory, which may or may not hold water, is that when you have a brow-beaten
group of individuals operating in an environment that requires a certain degree of
extemporaneousness and freedom of thinking, there will be shortcomings. One tends to engage
in CYA activities instead of engaging with the issues. This is a sign of weak leadership on deck
which has been modeled on the examples of weak leadership throughout the organization; and
having a big hammer (that falls unfairly and therefore arbitrarily) waiting at the end of this
escape chute only compounds the situation.

Familiarity can really be equated to rote knowledge. The problem is that, while you can
have all the rote familiarity possible with such documents, when you have a group of people not
used to thinking on their own or taking the initiative to deal with situations happening in a live
environment, familiarity fails quickly. It gives way to the far more pressing need of higher forms
of mental activity like experience and correlation, application and synthesis. These higher levels
of cognition are edited out of the Chinese experience, i.e. have been brow beaten out of them.
Page | 162

This whole analysis Im engaging in is pretty vanilla when you boil it down; I mean,
these are all issues weve dealt with scores of decades ago in the West. So, while were in the
thick of wading the bullshit here, the next issue Id like to bring to your attention is the gap, the
vast divide between the power-holders in the Chinese Tianjin Airlines hierarchy and foreign
pilots. We foreign pilots eat these kinds of situations for breakfast with a glass of OJ and side of
hash browns. The Chinese, on the other hand, are incapable of dealing with them rationally. In
exactly this way, as a foreign pilot operating in China you WILL NEVER be able to relate to
their body of policy; and Im not talking about the policy in the SOPM. Im talking about the
word-of-mouth policy that the airline runs on. As a decision maker, you WILL eventually run
into a situation where you will be manhandled and punished for using your judgment. You
cannot change this situation. Some foreign pilots have opted to just follow along, but thats
ultimately untenable and unsafe. At least one foreign pilot has been weaving his little web and
encouraging the Chinese to keep doing what theyre doing So, good luck with all of that.
In the interests of brow beating, lets continue on with a related kind of beating: the kind
that involves a dead horse. Shall we? Nega?

Again, the essence of what they are talking about here (if we can make sense of the
crappy translation) is true in the case of malfunctions like STEERING RUNAWAY: you have no
time to run a checklist, you have to react and save the day. On the other hand, as it seems this
crew was initially doing, you need to troubleshoot when the situation calls for it. After you have
deemed a situation is abnormal, then you run the checklist and apply the relevant items. Despite
their reluctance to disengage the auto-thrust, the crew eventually acted appropriately. So why is
this being made into a federal case?
The thing that would be going through my mind as a potential candidate is, What
situation will I end up in where I make a decision (there is no we on a Chinese flight deck), the
defense of which I will have to mount and ultimately fail and then suffer humiliation and public
criticism along with a monetary punishment that could potentially be upwards of $10,000. To
take this a step farther, What situation have I been in recently as a western pilot flying for a
western company that was a non-event; how would it be blown totally out of proportion in China
and expose me to a number of unsatisfactory company procedures and arbitrary punishments?
Page | 163

Now we see a complete reversal of the policy they have been hammering away at with
these wild exceptions that confuse the rules. In the West, this stuff has all been settled a long
time ago; in China its fresh and dangerous. Do not expose yourself to this, the money is not
worth it.
But really, the subtext here is that IF the PIC is a company leader, instructor or good
friend of a leader or instructor, yes these rules dont apply to you and well get you out of it with
the help of good ol Mr. Delete Button. He sure is a good friend.

Here we go with the CRM again. Yes, the CRM concept is exceedingly important in
airline operations and key to successful resolution of emergency situations (which this scenario
was not); yet, it is not flight-crew CRM that is necessarily at fault here. This is a misapplication
of the concept and shows how little they know what CRM is really about.
Page | 164

Again, yes safety is very important. What is completely being missed by the people who
wrote this document is that safety cannot be brow-beaten into the pilot group or halo of support
staff. This event is being treated as an extremely important incident by the company; they spent a
lot of energy interviewing the participants, generating the document and disseminating it at large.
Accepting that, its the stuff thats missing or just patently wrong which causes the most concern.
And so, in conclusion:

Yes China, great spelling and a very good concept: safety is safe. Very very good.
Now, go play with your bouncy ball and leave these things to real professionals who know what theyre doing.

Page | 165

Lets see you not get some kind of foot fungus, I mean, this shower curtain is totally clean right?
So, the floor should be just fine

The written went well; there are several questions not in the bank. Make sure you study
the bank and the book. If you do not, you will not pass.
The sim is squirrely. Don't jump on the rudders or you will end up in a 'Dutch Roll' on
your V-1 cut. The CAAC guys are douchebags; don't let them rattle you. Wear a button
up and tie, nice shoes; one in our group got hammered for wearing sneakers to the sim.
My ride began short of the runway with low viz and freezing conditions. You ought to
mention de-icing; for sure taxi and takeoff in the icing configuration. There will be a start
malfunction. Call for the checklist.
My first roll was an aborted takeoff from compressor stall; then a normal TO to FL200
where we did the rapid depressurization with an emergency descent. After level at 10k we
lost ESS bus 1; ILS with 20kt crosswinds (everything is flown with 20kt or more). Then a
V1 cut to a single engine ILS without an FD, handflown to minims and a missed
approach. Single engine pattern to a VOR approach. I messed up and went missed; they
didn't really care. Single engine visual. Then a 2 engine visual with max crosswinds. I
should have done a flaps-22 landing. Done.
Capt. Anon.
Page | 166

Heres Your Healthy Slice of Chinese Bullshit Pie in Full: Punishment (and reward)
You remember how I mentioned this policy in both the Terrorism and Birthday Cake
paragraphs earlier? Well, here we go. Full tard. In line with Chinas policy of double-speak, here
is a collection of slides just chock-full of double-speak taken from a 2013 foreign pilot meeting.
Take note that the section on rewards is 2 slides (not included here); the section on punishment is
8. Please allow me to walk you through all of the various kinds of wrong we can derive herewith:

Taking the first bullet point first; I wonder if it is an example of Open, Fair and Just when the
foreign Captain assistant had a hard landing warning (he was letting the FO fly) of 2.6gs and he
was never publicly criticized and never fined. [AND WHAT ABOUT CH CAPTAINS TOO]
The second bullet point is wrong in the fact that the company attempts to pit the foreign Captain
against Chinese FO and get the two to tattle-tale on each other. The Chinese FOs story will be
the one that prevails in any case.
Self-improvement has nothing to do with punishment or rewards. Instead, this system has
established a hostile work environment that does nothing but undermine safety and create a body
of employees who are too browbeaten to be effective.

The footer of this PowerPoint slide should read, We shall have all ways with you! Still
moving right along lets look at some more choice material disseminated at large:

Yup, heres your fair treatment. I mean, the fact they mention foreign pilots is of course in no way meant to
single out the group or anything, so its totally fair. YES TOTALLY FAIR. Hereby notified, assholes.
Page | 167

Okay, so, for those of you who didnt believe me when I told you about the consequences
for making some kind of mistake: heres your proof. If you are hit by lightning its your fault.
If you hit a bird its your fault. If a passenger throws their softdrink at the plane and ice cubes
strike the fuselage, you are going to hell (youre lucky that the Chinese dont put ice in
ANYTHING liquid which seems to be a quintessentially American thing anyhow).

If the weight and balance is wrong its your fault.

I wanted to set this one apart from the rest: you dont do any weight/balance calculations at
Tianjin Airlines. There is a loadmaster who does this for you (or somethingnot sure I want to
call anyone over there a master at anything). So, when those ground staff monkeys were
improperly loading the A320 a while back resulting in a spate of hard landings because they
were out of trim (story below in the Performance section), it was the (foreign) Captains faults.

$10,000!
Now, whats going to happen here when you start asking around about all of this is that the
foreign pilot coordinator will to tell you this is all just for company policy and they rarely
enforce it. Thats what we were told when the previous contract introduced language that if you
fail a sim check (related story below) you have to pay for it Now, what are you going to
believe? The words of someone who is clearly a mouthpiece for the company and out for himself,
or the words of the company written down in black-and-white and sporting a vicious track record?
Page | 168

OK, nothing to take note of here

Yup this is all normal shit.

So wait, you mean they didnt tell ya about any of this before you came to interview?
Page | 169

And heres your monetary fine scenario!

Faking the Safety Numbers Like Marthas Boobs?

Several pilots report either diverting from or not
being able to dispatch to Tianjin on November 2013.
It turns out that a Tianjin EMB145 had made an
emergency landing earlier that day followed by an
emergency evacuation on the runway (remember that of
the two runways at TSN 16L/34R is reserved solely for
the Airbus factory and no revenue flights are allowed to
use it under any circumstances). No details of this event
were issued by the company and no reports were made
through official channels. Inquiring about the event
through various first officers yielded little useful
information beyond confirming that lips were pursed
and persons found disseminating information would
probably go to jail.
China is not a kinder gentler nation. Do not give in to the propaganda and pressure. The
Chinese are cutthroat thieves hell-bent on destroying the West and ruling the world. To this aim
they will do anything to cover up and preserve the nasty, filth-ridden underbelly of their country
and culture. Their safety record, in line with this program of theirs, is a book cooked by Martha
Stuart; any chance they get to put a foreign face on their monstrousness is an opportunity seized
after all not you though Martha, youre still safe you slimy, tax-evading wench.
Ed. note: Think of it, an inexperienced, fucked up nation like China with tons of money building a huge armed force
to exert its power and dictate terms of peace to the globe? I hope you like this coming reality.

Oxygen
I may be wrong because Im suffering from a bad case of what I call Chinese drift (a
gradual erosion of your knowledge and skill due to the influence of a lackadaisical and
downright moronic theatre of operations over prolonged exposure), but isnt there a regulation
governing the use of oxygen above FL250 when a crew member leaves the flight deck? In other
words, you have to have the mask on in the case thereof? I mean, its addressing the whole
useful consciousness issue in the unlikely event of a cabin depressurization, right? Well,
they dont follow that over there despite (alleged) provisions for it in the regulations (which of
course I never had the occasion to read because they are not translated into English). I tried my
best to follow this one in the rare event we climbed up above FL250 (oops, sorry, FL246 err,
FL7500meters), but then you end up with a bunch of pissy FOs (we dont do it that way in China)
and Chinese drift sets in. There is a limit to how hard and how long you can swim upstream
against the current. SO SAFE!

Page | 170

Indiscriminate Application of Rules with a Practical Example

This email was delivered in 2014, almost a year after the 3 flights he cites toward the top
of the communiqu. This pilot lasted less than a year at Tianjin airlines before punching out, and
this in spite of the outrageous money being paid by the company for foreign pilots.

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There was a follow-on email to the one above:

Dear XXXXXX,
Following my email XXXXXX, I did further research on my 17th to 23rd of XXXXXX
2014, 7 day schedule.
The main problem seems to be that I did not check in at the company hotel for my back
up on the 20th and 22nd of XXXXXX?
First of all what is back up according to TJA FOM:
TJA FLIGHT OPERATION MANUAL chapter 9, "Flight Operation"
(4) The back up flight crew at the airport shall wear uniform and signing in same time
with the flight crew of the first flight of the day, and waiting at the appointed sleeping zone for
possible assignment.
(5) The back up flight crew on telephone (Secondary back up crew) shall signing in
through telephone to the Production Control Office at the beginning of back backup duty, and
inform the his/her phone number (or other way of communication). The crew member shall be
contacted though this number.
The definition of back up in the TJA Flight Operation Manual is open to interpretation, it
is not clear on my schedule (at least for my poor Chinese reading skills...please see the last 2
lines of the photo hereunder) if it was a phone back up or a base back up.
Either way this back up is a duty as you are requested to be fully available for the
company for the mentioned period of time.
Now this brings a new problem....
Chinese Civil Aviation Regulation CCAR 121-489/495 states:
At least 36 consecutive hours of rest time must be arranged for the flight crew
members for whom the duty period arranged for once or more than once in any successive
7 calendar days.
In any 7 day period, flight crew should get at least 36 consecutive hours of rest,
My schedule for the 17th to 23rd of XXXXXX was as follow:
DAY 1: OFF
DAY 2: Tianjin-Sanya, check in 7.05am,
positioning back to Tianjin as passenger, landing 17.22, check out 17.55
DAY 3: OFF
DAY 4: Standby 00.00 to 23.59
DAY 5: Tianjin-Xian-Kunming-Xian-Tianjin, check in 06.30am, check out 19.04
DAY 6: Standby 00.00 to 23.59
DAY 7 : Tianjin-Hangzhou-Tianjin, checkin 06.35am, check out 13.45

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As you can see, the legal requirement for a MINIMUM of 36 consecutive hours of rest
per 7 calendar days was not fulfilled, making this schedule illegal already at the planning
stage!

I would like to point out TJA's own Flight Operation Manual, chapter 5 "flight time
limitation":
5.5 Collect and control of crewmember flight time Flight time statistics and control for
flight crew resource management division takes charge of flight time statistics and control for
the flight crew members.
1) Flight crew resource management division should arrange the flight task
reasonably.Do not arrange the planning task which exceeds the scope of the regulation and
limitation specified in this Handbook. Based on
(1) The requirement of the limitation on the duty period, flight time and the rest for
pilots
(2) The requirement on the duty period and rest for the flight crew
5.4 AppendixCCAR-121.489/495
3) The flight crew members who are assigned for the flight task for the time being must
meet the requirement for the time of rest time specified in this chapter.
4) In the specified rest time, the flight crew members cannot be assigned for any
working task and the flight crew member cannot accept any working task either.
5) Having arranged the other jobs before accepting the flight task, the duty time shall
be counted from the time the working begins.
Therefore no matter how you look at it,
Not only didn't I get the 36 hours of rest in the 7 calendar day,
But I also did not get the required amount of rest:
-before my flight on DAY 5
-after my flight on DAY 5
-before my flight on DAY 7

It is quite clear that TJA on regular basis are in opposition with their own regulations as
well as CCAR and other international regulations.
I would be interested to see what the CAAC has to say about this
What are your suggestions?
Best regards,
XXXXXX
XXXXXX
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So, as we can clearly see, recently and with much ado, Tianjin Airlines has chosen to
completely disregard the rules as set forth by the controlling government authority. This kind of
behavior is typical of airlines in China. As I have pointed out before, it is common to hear a local
say, There are provisions for XYZ in the regulations, but nobody really follows it. Francis said
this often in the early days of the foreign pilot contingent I am told. And as I observed earlier:
They love Rules. They love the rule making process. They love learning the rules. They
love quoting the rules. They love pointing out when someone breaks the rules. But nobody
follows the rules and nobody enforces the rules.
But its really worse than this. Its not that people just dont follow the rules in China, its
a deeper cultural disconnect between the whole concept of having a body of rules and the
concept that one practices and applies those rules in real world situations. You see it happening
all over the place in this book, where knowledge of the rules is treated separately to application
of the rules. To the Chinese, these are two separate concepts, unrelated in their minds.
Its difficult to really crystalize this concept because its not as black-and-white as I am
putting it here. I also dont want to confuse it with their level of inexperience, which is certainly
also a huge factor; but those who have been in China will get what Im trying to say and identify
it in their own experiences at work and in everyday life. Its odd and a little spooky, and
completely unmitigated at Tianjin Airlines if not other carriers as well.
There you have it. Come to China and fly! Risk your ass, have the company abuse you
and violate regulations, punish you monetarily and give you public criticism. You will be
punished for trying to follow the rules, or for flying normally and getting a QAR because the
strict standards do not account for the variability of nature. When you finally leave the company
to go home youll be thrown under the bus for the douchebags to run over you a few more times.
The money they take from your final paycheck will surely be spent on baijo and prostitutes by
Xu and Qi and then theyll come in to work the next morning drunk as skunks, have some poor
newhire blow in the breathalyzer and then go fly
Dont believe me? Think Im being dramatic?
Read on, were barely halfway through this masterpiece of a book.

Yup, the Chinese are obviously sooo pluralistic and open; clearly the act of integrated society right there.
Page | 174

Transition, Instructor Status

If youre attracted to Tianjin Airlines for the potential to transition to another aircraft, be
super careful with that. As of the writing of this book, in 4 years of operating with foreign pilots
on property, only 3 have transitioned from the EMB145 to the EMB190, and those have been
described to me as tenuous at best. Despite a ton of inquiry into the matter, nobody has
transitioned to the 320 and in the last contract the 330 was removed from the language, so it
looks like that potential is gone. Furthermore, regarding the EMB190 and 320, it looks like if
you have a QAR situation or have pissed someone off, you arent going to be selected to
transition from the plane youre flying now. Its really easy to piss people off here, and its super
easy to get pissed off at the ridiculous shenanigans they pull on a regular basis. I dont care how
good you think you are, youre going to have a situation eventually, the cards are stacked against
you. So, theres that. Ive seen a ton of great pilots get hit.
Now, numerous pilots have passed the interview and started training under the promise
that theyd fly a month or so in their current airplane and then transition. This is typical Chinese
bullshit and the company slobs who offered the deal know it. They issued a fakey offer to get
people to bite at what resulted in a seemingly more savory apple that was essentially fake. They
dont realize it makes them look really bad, undermines any trust anyone could have in what they
say and pisses everyone off in general. The CAAC rules are quite clear in this regard: you must
have at least 700 hours of experience flying in China before you can legally transition to a new
airframe.
This fake transition offer is a similar situation to international jump-seating. International
jump-seating is a farce since the CAAC rules state that if you are going to participate you
personally have to be authorized at your company to operate internationally; in short, it was a
false deal that pissed everyone off. Some of the guys have been patient with all of this, others
simply walked off the job. In fact, one guy quit on the spot during a foreign pilot meeting and
strolled off the property laughing. I dont blame him.
Another twist in this transition training affair is
that if you can officially verify your flight time through
the FAA (a body which will not verify your hours as a
general practice since its not in their mission statement)
you can satisfy this prerequisite with the CAAC. One
guy here was actually able to have a portion of his
hours verified (he had millions of hours in the EMB145
and was apparently able to do so because he was a line
check airman part of that time); still, he sits on the
EMB145 waiting for transition. Its also come to my
attention that a class was offered to several of the
EMB145 guys in June of 2013 but it was canceled
without warning or explanation. They all actually
traveled down to Sanya and went to the classroom
before they were told no joy. One of the pilots in that
group was rumored to be quitting over it as of the writing of this paragraph.
The next issue to chew on here is the provisions in the contract for becoming an
instructor. Forget about it. I was talking to one of the old-school guys here and he said theyve
been offering that since day 1 of bringing the foreigners on property. Several of the guys have
tried to bite that carrot, but it gets snatched away at the last second. Besides it being a complete
Page | 175

error in judgment to think that a Chinese pilot at Tianjin Airlines would ever suffer a foreigner to
have that status/power over him (let alone even consider the thought of foreigners moving up
through the company ranks), the Beijing office will never allow it anyhow. This has been
confirmed over and over again.
So, there you have it. Wanna transition to a bigger airplane? Wanna be an instructor? Its
tenuous at best and a lie at its very heart. Make sure you keep that in mind whenever the
company offers you something too good to be true: it probably is. Dont disrespect yourself by
jumping for a carrot that you will never taste. And dont trust River any farther than you could
throw him; he is a lying sack of fecal matter fish food. And with your bad knee Ed, you shouldnt
be throwing anybody
So, there we were in ground school for the 190. Swiss Aviation had long since been
kicked off the property so we had a monkey teaching us in Chinese Well, we naturally
had some questions going along and asked a fair number of them without any good
answer until the instructor got pissed off and said our questions were too hard, stop
asking. Great, real great China.
Capt. Anon.
So, there I was in the sim doing the EMB145 to EMB190 transition. We were doing
GPWS escape maneuvers during this particular lesson, and it was the FOs turn to go first.
We launched and the instructor put us on a collision course with a mountain range. The
FO sat there oblivious of the amber and red blobs of terrain marching down his MFD.
Ahem I muttered. The instructor leaned forward and asked the FO if he could
continue flying straight. Oh yes, yes! Yes, I can do that! he emphasized. Ahem! I
cleared my throat again, Are you sure? Oh yes, I can go straight! As I asked him if
he was absolutely, positively sure we could keep going straight, I felt the instructors hand
on my shoulder: I was tapped out. So I busied myself with my charts and syllabus as the
terrain got closer and closer seconds ripe with anticipation crept by until an urgent
computerized voice broke the silence... Terrain Terrain, the GPWS announced.
There was nothing, not even a flinch from the FO. Terrain... Terrain PULL UP!
PULL UP! Still nothing from the FO: he was just sitting there. CRASH!!!! He looked
over with a blank expression on his face wondering what had happened
Capt. Anon.
Ed. note: Here is a nail that had been hammered down one too many times, now engaged as a candidate for flight
crew at an airline job. Sad, inconceivable, brutal; you chose the adjective to describe it. Against the
recommendations of the Swiss Aviation instructor and managers this student (eventually) PASSED his
training and was online flying a couple of months later. Guess who was on his no-fly list?

Page | 176

Here is some REALLY good advice for ya.

I think this will all pretty much speak for itself. Enjoy the light reading.

Page | 177

Page | 178

Page | 179

CA Stop it
So, there I was taking a recurrent check in Sanya. The examiner had set up a windshear
event, so we went through the paces: asked tower for a minute on the runway, lined up and got
the radar going. Yup, there it was, a nice big cell at the 5 mile ring.
OK, cleared for takeoff!
Shit. Really?
Yes.
OK check thrust etc.
We rotated and straight away hit the turbulence. I knew this program from my days as an
instructor so I knew what to expect. At about 300 we were in it, rocking back and forth like one
of those bucking-bronco rides you see at cowboy bars. As we came out of it we cleaned up the
aircraft, I had the FO declare an emergency and I turned left.
The examiner froze the sim.
After a flurry of Chinese I finally got a translation from the
FO that the examiner did not want me to turn. I asked why not?
He butted in and in his broken English tried to explain something
along the lines of, Slow, act slowly. As he repositioned us on the
runway I started mounting my counter argument to this bullshit: Id
had enough. I told him that in no way, under no circumstances short
of running into another airplane would I continue straight into a cell
that had assumedly just put us in a life-threatening windshear event.
Another flurry of Chinese broke out and I got the translation that I was to fly straight.
NO WAY, was my emphatic response, now at the end of my patience. There is no way I will
put the lives of myself, passengers or crew in danger like that! Why do you want me to continue
straight? There was no satisfactory answer. I then told them I would do the exact same thing
given the same scenario. This led to an outburst of what could only have been a tirade of insults
and badgering.
I undid my lap belt, got out of the chair and approached the door. You better have that
bridge down in 3 seconds or Im opening the door and setting off the automatic deploy. The sim
went off motion, the bridge came down, and I departed the deck.
I wandered around an empty bathroom for a few minutes collecting my thoughts. Id just
done something totally unprecedented; in fact, something Id never even heard rumors or stories
of others doing: Id stopped the sim! Well, this surely was it for me, my time in China was over.
I ran into the FO in the break room who, in his most humble tone possible, asked if I would
please accompany him in his portion of the sim check. Shit, why not?
After an hour of visual circuits, we went upstairs. The examiner asked me again,
through the FO, why I had chosen to turn during my portion of the ride. I felt the anger in the
back of my neck, but resisted the urge. I explained:
1. We had almost died and there is no way I was going to tempt fate a second time
2. We had declared an emergency which grants the Captain full authority to do whatever
it takes to solve the issue at hand
3. Company policy in the SOPM prohibited us from operating into areas of known
severe turbulence
Page | 180

4. I turned in the direction of the SID

5. There was no traffic on TCAS in the direction I chose to turn.
6. Every G.D. Examiner in the West would have asked me why I went straight if I
hadnt turned and Id have no good reason with which to explain my inaction; Id
probably have failed the ride for it as a Captain!
PERIOD. End of discussion.
He asked for my logbook and license, signed them both, and I left the building as quickly
as my feet would take me. Back at the hotel, I gathered my belongings and caught a cab to the
airport. I didnt wait for the crew bus. There was no way. I checked in for the return flight to
Tianjin with embers drifting out of my ears. Here I was checking in for a flight manned by a
bunch of monkeys taught to fly straight into thunderstorms after windshear events. I was ready to
quit and go home but the money bid me to stay. This was my first mistake of many.

Ribbit you motherfuckers!

The company is heading towards a world of hurt. In mid-April they announced that no
foreign captains would be upgraded to the 320, and subsequently the majority of the 190
pilots made plans to quitmany by the end of July. The office recently discovered that
this was going on, and went into panic mode. They have started swearing up and down
that they will move all the 190 guys to the 320, but dont know when. They decided to hold
the pilot meeting on a weekend, and make it some kind of outdoor picnicI think to try
and improve the tanking morale.
Capt. Anon.
Ed. note: A status eMail from 2nd quarter 2014.
Page | 181

CA Fuckedd*
(*the second d is for hell yeah I was fucked but good!)

$2000 is just the tip of the iceberg. It does not account for the loss of income he could have gotten flying
during this period, the loss of overtime he would have made during the block of days he sold back that just
disappeared due to this shit, and the tremendous amount of emotional stress it induced.
Page | 182

I dont really know where to start with on this one. CRM? China? What a joke. Standards?
China? A real joke. The back story here is that the company pulled a random sim check on this
Captain the day after he come back from holiday. They failed him in the first 5 minutes of the
ride. Thats when they took him off line and made him do a recheck. This all happened during a
stretch of days off (adjacent to the end of his holiday proper) that he had sold back for overtime.
Instead of flying for extra cash, he was railroaded like a beeotch. I guess I have to wonder whose
Cheerios he pissed in? Some party member no doubt. Good luck with that, sports fans.
Ed. note: Perhaps this book serves as Chinas public criticism nest pas?
Hereby notified you uncle-fucking monkeys.

BOOOOM!

This one didnt go so well. We mentioned instances of this before and here it is again:
Concerns over reimbursement of tickets: Several people have raised questions about
applicants getting reimbursed for travel for the interview. Please let me assure you that
everyone that has gone for their interview has been reimbursed in full for their 1st round
trip ticket to China. Some other airlines in China has specifically mentioned that
applicants who have to return to China to redo a portion of the interview will only be
reimbursed if they successfully complete the interview. It became apparent this past week
that Tianjin Airlines has taken a similar approach for those applicants that did not pass
on the first try. There was an instance during this last set of interviews of one applicant
not getting reimbursed on his second try for the interview. We are still working with
Tianjin Airlines and the pilot to resolve the issue.
Hey, wanna redo on your last interview checkride? Or the medical where they said you have a
heart condition? Oh wait we havent chatted about the physical or the doctors in China yet.
Read on read on

Apply directly to the China

Page | 183

CA New Candidate Failures

Here is a blast email sent out by a desperate Captain in training who had no idea what the
hell was going on. You are either this guy, or you are not. If you arent this guy now, that could
always change in a heartbeat.
***
Due to the fact that I nevet had an oficial answer from TJA about the results of my Line
Check evaluations for Solo Captain and I had been relying on what was said back during
debriefings where apparently there were absolutely no considerable deviations at all and
now, only by the comments recentlly mentioned by Capt. XXXXXX, I respectfully request
the following :
1.- What were the deviations I have suppossely made on the Non Precision Approaches
acomplished during the Line Check of the 11th of January 2.013 that made the instructor
consider "not confident" those approaches or it was just a subjective appreciation, because
that was never mentioned during debriefing ?
2.- Or maybe because of some strange reason, as I reported, after being cleared for an ILS
approach at Wenzhou at about 2 DME from IAF, with everything prepared, briefing
included, the instructor told me to request and change to an NDB DME approach and I did it
fine, with no deviations at all. I had to rush it to prepare it all over but, is that why the
instructor judges as "not confident"? because that wrong decision of the instructor of
changing the approach when about to start the ILS, was actually looking for making me look
as "not confident" with that lack of anticipation ? And it was a surprise that I did it just fine
no matter that strange situation but the subjective appreciation of a "not confident" is
maintained, based on what "deviation"?
3.- Why those so important Line Checks were scheduled right after six weeks without
continuous flying, not even one single flight of practice, when EVERYBODY has that
opportunity ?
4.- Why those very important Line Checks where scheduled from Xi'an and even the
instructors had to travel to Xi'an when normally all the checks are scheduled in Tianjin ?
What was the rush if the results were given only unoficially about 20 days later, because
oficilly I have not received anything until now from TJA ?
5.- What were the deviations of my flying without AP and without FD that are "not
confident" when, even though I never did that during training, all of my approaches were
very stable, otherwise, what do the QAR say in all of my approaches and landings?
But the real QARs please, because after I noticed some manipulation or wrong information
on my personal QARs that one day would appeared some amount and the next day some
strange different one, double or half of the day before, the explanation I received was that
"...it had not been mine or it was failing...."
Based on this facts and on the opinion of the instructors mainly from Xi'an with whom I flew
the most, (they are not that many) who had a different opinion, especially one of them who
often would say during debriefings that "..you XXXXXX, are the best pilot I have flown
with...." Yes, a chinese instructor, one of the best instructors of TJA. As I was saying, based
on this facts, I respectfully request to reconsider my situation and have a completely fair
opportunity to finish the last step of my training.

Page | 184

I would really appreciate to have an answer to this communication this time and please, not
just saying "not confident" but the REAL REASONS based on facts or standards, not just
saying some general things to justify a wrong decision that affects the interest of TJA,
XXXXXX and mine, after so much time, effort and investments, time of the process where I
have approved all the evaluations I had to take up to New Captain without any problem. I
think we are still on time to act wisely and change what would be an unjustified failure of
TJA, XXXXXX and I, in a SUCCESS for everybody. I have been a distinguished pilot my
whole life and I would really like to stay and give my best to TJA and TJA could have the
pilot they need in just a few days. I invite everybody involved in this matter to open our
perspective. I think it will be worth it and I would accept all the non anunciated evaluations
TJA would consider necessary to confirm my professionalism Or, Is it for some personal
reason ? I hope not and I don't think so.
Thanks,
Capt. XXXXXX
TJA New Captain

Were coming to get you, America.

Meanwhile at Tianjin Airlines

[Excerpted from the flight preparation exam]
Page | 185

This Is China, an expression you are going to absolutely love the shit out of

CA STOP IT. NO REALLY, WERE STOPPING THIS.

Ed. note: Do not adjust your set, you are not experiencing dj vu. Or maybe you are, we dont know anymore.

So, there I was doing a checkride in the sim. These idiots DO NOT know what theyre
doing. Anyhow, wind-shear recovery was the next subject and I was all ready to go. We started
the takeoff roll, rotated and ploughed right into severe turbulence. After going through the
motions I ordered flap retraction: DING!
Master Caution, FLAPS FAIL
Two seconds later we were right back in a second wind-shear; I fire-walled it again and exceeded
VFE right off the bat of course.
The examiner stopped the sim and proceeded to yell and scream at me. I unbuckled the
harness, gathered my flight kit and walked out of the sim for the first time ever in my career. I
went back to the hotel. Shortly after the door to my room closed, there was a knock. The FO was
standing in the hallway; he had followed me over, Captain, its OK, you can come back to the
sim now and finish the lesson. I thought about it for a minute and decided why the hell not.
We both climbed back into our seats and the examiner popped us up to 10,000ft. As he
cut us loose the panel lit up like a Christmas tree: dual engine failure. OK fine. I started calling
for checklists and got no response from the FO. I called again nothing. I looked over and he
was slumped down in his chair. He whispered, Im dead. WTF?!?! OK, so I pointed us toward
low terrain (there was no nearby airport) and landed it in a field without crashing. Again the
examiner started yelling some shit about not running any checklists I unbuckled by harness,
gathered my flight kit and exited the sim for the second time ever in my career.
Page | 186

Airspace, Airplanes, Airports and Air Traffic Control

Oh boy Ya got me started dincha

Page | 187

Chinese Airspace
All airspace everywhere above China is owned by the military, period. You push back for
departure at the PLAs pleasure. You will never deviate from your route to take a shortcut. In
fact, some routes actually double back on themselves in a desperately obedient display of
compliance with avoiding deemed sensitive military airspace. Most routes have a 90-degree turn
somewhere that you will not cut across. Youre lucky if they let you fly around a thunderstorm
(oh, how many times have I been flying in China and wanted to divert around a cell only to have
my request denied). You will fly at the airspeed they command and the altitude they grant you.
So, have fun with that. Oh, turbulence? Fuck you lawai, maintain altitude. Oh, thunderstorm?
Fuck you lawai, maintain your flight-plan route. Oh, divert to your alternate airport because a TS
is parked above your destination? Fuck you lawai, denied. Sigh, no China, fuck YOU! Theres a
reason you cant keep foreign pilots from quitting the highest paid EMB145 and EMB190 job on
the planet, you stupid fuckwits. Your system sucks, its unsafe and Hainan is a horrible company
to work for. THERE.
I love it when deadheading, while youre waiting in the passenger area at the gate, you
hear the dire (automated robot voice) announcements about some other, less fortunate flight
(sometimes your flight):
Dear passengers, Flight 1234 to Wuhan has been delayed due to the
aircraft delay please wait patiently.
After you hear that one a few times youre ready to fucking blow someone away with a shotgun
loaded with deer slugs.

Naw, on second thought, leave it off.

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Military Activity
China Dragon 12345, request higher due to moderate turbulence.
Negative due to military activity.
***
Bohai 12345, request heading 225 due to weather.
Negative, due to military activity.
Bohai 12345, how about right offset 15 miles?
Negative, due to military activity.
You realize there is a thunderstorm ahead of us?
Roger.
And its very dan-ger-ous

***
Bohai 12345, descend and maintain 6600meters, 3000fpm due to military activity.
Uhhh does he really mean for us to descend 1000 feet at 3000fpm?
Yes Captain
***
Hello Clearance, Bohai 12345, do we have a departure time?
Negative, Bohai 12345, severe flow control due to military activity.
When you fly around China, more often than not you are going to run into delays and
severe flight restrictions due to military activity. It wasnt until I was nosing around the internet,
poking at various sites that I started wondering about these things a bit more seriously. To be
sure, conspiracy theories run amuck on the web (the moon landing was a hoax for instance); yet,
when faced with constant references to military activity as the raison detre for substantial
curtailment of commercial endeavor, it makes you wonder if there just might be a kernel of truth
to even the wilder claims being made out there.

Were all aware of the Chinese penchant for reverse-engineering stuff. They copy
everything, from BMWs to computer software to advanced US military hardware (when they can
get their hands on it). Reports that Iran sold China the drone that went down a while back
coupled with evidence they stole the plans for our JSF and other stealth technology; its enough
Page | 189

to put piss in your cheerios. I mean, theyre keeping you away from the military activity of
testing top secret stolen and copied technology, thats what. It doesnt take a genius to figure that
out. Go ahead, browse around at the info out there. Is it really that far-fetched?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Defense_Identification_Zone_%28East_China_Sea%29

Next, take into account the recent muscle flexing China has done with the ADIZ they set
up overnight in 2013-ish over East China Sea. Why did they do this? Potential war with Japan,
thats why. There was exactly NO BRIEFING by the company on it because its controversial
and TOP SECRET.
So there I was, flying down the coast to Wenzo or Foojoe, cant remember. You know, the
new ADIZ is over there thats been established by Maos minions anyhow, I was
listening to 121.5 when all of a sudden I heard this high pitched voice in a quavering yet
demanding tone, Unknown aircraft, identify yourself! I almost shit my pants when I
heard the dead-calm response: This is the US Airforce. We are in international territory.
Have a nice day. Boo-yah.

Airport Operations and Tower Control

Here is where the rubber meets the road in aviation. So, depending on the day, this will
be your indoctrination with how insane it is to operate throughout the greater China arena.
Sometimes things go smoothly, most of the time its a cluster-fuck. Im just going to list a bunch
of items for your edification:
The follow-me car:
Lets lead off with this little jem. It doesnt matter if the airport has 1 runway, 1 taxiway
and a simple little terminal, you will follow the follow-me car. You WILL follow the follow me
car in VMC, daytime and your gate is less than 100ft away. In all the time I was there I taxied in
maybe once and possible twice without the close, careful assistance of a follow-me car (often
you look and the driver is on his cellphone) for safety. GAY and RETARDED. Welcome to
China you expat fools.
The function of the follow me
car in the figure to the right (NOT
PHOTOSHOPPED) was to guide us
from our parking spot (from which we
were just
turning),
down a
dangerously straight yellow taxi line
and thats it. Immediately to the left
down at the end is the beginning of
the movement area where the car
isnt allowed to drive. We had to wait
a good 4 minutes for this guy to
finally show up too. Have fun letting
this not piss you off.
Ed. note: Refer to the chart under Landing Heads Down (and Up the Nether Region) on page 74-ish.

Page | 190

Expedite taxi:
You may have 2 airplanes in front of you and 3 on final approach, but if the tower gets a
bug up their ass theyre going to be telling you to hurry the F up. Ive been told to expedite taxi,
expedite descent, expedite climb, be quick about pushing back, hurry up and takeoff, hurry hurry
hurry. It doesnt matter if its icy or raining youre going to be told to hurry up. Forget the fact
that there is a QAR for taxiing in the straight-away more than 27kts (bumped up from the
previous 25) or turning too fast (over 12kts). The tower said Hurry and you WILL comply! I just
told them to blow me as often as I could.
CRM? What CRM? Where? Huh?:
Im just going to let yall figure this one out for yalls selves at this point, in celebratory
spirit of the deeply rooted Maoist aversion to sharing information with anyone who is not you,
the holder of said knowledge.
Over the field:
How many times have I been radar vectored to an airport only to find out at the last
second that were doing an overhead approach to join the downwind on the other side of the field?
GRRRR! Boy Ive laid into them on this one. Another one is when they switch runways and
dont tell ya. Oh, maybe it was transmitted in Chinese and the FO decided it was not salient.
Sometimes hell just start reprogramming the FMS and you get to learn about it that way.
Jeppesen charts are almost worthless, just use the dang Chinese plates:
Just like the little subheading says above, you might just as well get used to the dang
Chinese charts. They suck ass, but theyre actually easier to use than the Jepps. Some airports are
not published by Jeppesen because I guess theyre secret or something and I guess theres no
way for the enemy to find them without charts so whatever on that dude. Just fly and do
whatever. And they think theyre going to start doing RNP operations. HA! Theyre going to
plant one on the side of a mountain, guaranteed. If youre flying international (Korea for
example), revert back to the Jepps of course. And keep your head on a swivel; the fuckup fairy is
ever present.
Constant (consistent) LOC intercept foul ups:
You will fly through the LOC more than once, daily at any and every airport you fly to.
AHEM! Pardon me. Lets start this one over from the beginning
Constant (consistent) LOC intercept foul ups:
You will be radar vectored to base and then forgotten about, have to query the controller
who realizes what has happened at the last second and thereby receive a desperate heading to
intercept a course that is already a mile behind you. So, then you have to radar vector yourself
back to the course, intercept above the glideslope, increase your descent rate to catch it and end
up with a QAR hard warning for excessive descent rate below 2000ft and high airspeed. Oh hell,
its really not the controllers fault, he/she is just totally Chinese and cant seem to fucking figure
out how to paint inside the god-damned lines. Controllers at major airports, minor airports,
airports in the middle of BFN all seem to have this lack of trigonometric facility. Am I angry?
No, never. Im not pissed off about this at all. Its a happy day! Enjoy your fines, foreigners!

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Ya know what, Ima interrupt this list with a short story that should complement the towers lack
of vectoring skills at large:
So there I was, flying into XYZ sitting right seat for a new Chinese Captain. Well you
judge that title for yourself in a minute. We were on a modified right base (maybe 120o)
with a stiff quartering tailwind about 2.5 miles from the centerline. It was a little busy.
Tower saw it early and gave us a turn:

LOC 180o

wind

us

Bohai 12345, turn right heading 210o to intercept, cleared for the approach.
What did this Captain do? He promptly turned to a heading of 210o. I mean, thats what
the tower said to do right?

LOC 180o

wind

us

So I spoke up: Hey Cap, maybe a heading of 150o to intercept would be better.
And he said anxiously: Confirm that with the tower.
HUH?!?
So, I confirmed it with the tower and he turned back to intercept then we were high and
fast and not configured. It was a mess. I didnt get the QARs for this one at least
Ed. note: We interpret this a little differently, thinking that the ATC controller was inept as well. On the back side,
the Chinese captain above landed fully crabbed and ended up way off the centerline. I wonder when
theyre going to collapse a main-gear at Tianjin Airlines?

Weather and Flow Control in China:

If a drop of water falls to the ground, you can be sure the airspace system is being shut
down and you will incur heavy delays. Metar? Inaccurate. TAF? Come now, after all youve read
so far do you really think these people have the craft of forecasting the weather under their belts?
Ill bet dollars to donuts that they cut open chickens and analyze their liver to determine whats
going to happen next with good ol mother nature. Good luck. That is all.

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The person this is for knows who (s)he is. Hereby notified.

Rotating Beacons
OK, this one is short and sweet. There are NO rotating airport beacons in all of China. Is
it night and youre looking for the airport? FUCK YOU, they be all stealthy an shit in Chinaland.
Chinglish:
For the love of God. OK, Im prefacing this again with the caveat that the Chinese are
wonderful people with a beautiful culture that goes back thousands of yadda yadda. But, due to
the way humans use thier vocal chords, tongue, cheeks and lips when raised from birth as a
native speaker of any given language (of which Chinese has to be diametrically opposed to
English in the way one uses these body parts for speaking), one will tend to have an accent to
some degree when speaking a second, foreign language. I only get puzzled looks from the
Chinese whenever I try to speak their language for instance, and in this way, it always sounds
like the Chinese have a mouthful of rocks when they try to speak English.
This isnt really an insurmountable problem in every-day life (it can be cute and
endearing if not frustrating); but, when youre operating an airplane in congested airspace with
congested frequencies in a team environment, its a recipe for disaster. Five sounds like four
or even seven (somehow they manage this mispronunciation thats how bad it can get),
three sounds like six and on and on. Sometimes youll get a transmission that even your
local FO looks at you like the controller is from outer-space. What did he say? If you ever do
decide to fly in China, make sure to verify anything you dont catch. Youre going to be hearing
a lot of verifying already; but, dont hesitate to jump in among the flurry of exchanges between
the FO and ATC to break off your own piece of the action.
Micro-managed descents/climbs (Airbus doesnt have this design philosophy yet):
Because there is 1 way in and 1 way out of any given airport (indeed, route structure
between any airport pair), you can imagine that it can get pretty congested. In this spirit, and not
forgoing the fascist-like safety mentality the Chinese adore and excel at, you will be
micromanaged during every descent and every climb you execute.
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Heres a quick example to piss you off, courtesy of Qingdao Air Traffic:
TowerBohai 7123, descend and maintain 3900 meters.
FOTower, Bohai 7123, confirm 3900 meters.
TowerRoger Bohai 7123, descend and maintain 3900 meters.
FORoger, Bohai 7123, descend and maintain 3900 meters.
FO (to CA)Descend 3900 meters.
CA3900 meters set.
FORoger, 3900 meters 12800 feet, set.
CAUh OK. Flight Level Change.
FOChecked!
The altitude alerter chimes, shortly after which the flight director/autopilot captures
the pre-selected altitude and the autopilot initiates level off.
TowerBohai 7123, descend and maintain 3600 meters.
FOTower, this is Bohai 7123, please confirm 3600 meters.
TowerConfirmed, 3900, I mean 3600 meters.
FOTower, confirm Three-Thousand, Six-Hundred meters?
Tower3600 meters Bohai 7123. Expedite descent.
FORoger, 3600 meters, expedite descent.
FO (to CA)3600 meters, expedite descent.
CA3600 meters set.
FOChecked! 11800 feet!
CAFlight Level Change.
FOChecked!
The altitude alerter chimes, shortly after which the flight director captures the preselected altitude and the autopilot initiates level off.
TowerBohai 7123, descend and maintain 3000 meters.
FOTower, Bohai 7123, confirm 3000 meters and
CASHUT THE FUCK UP!
Ed. note: Its a damned good thing the Sesame Street Count isnt
working ATC in China; thered be lightning strikes
everywhere! Wait, there are lightning strikes everywhere.

One Two Three Ah-ah-ah

Now, I know what youre thinking here but I am NOT shitting you with this little excerpt above.
The FOs making these radio calls are not inexperienced either, which should tell you something.
THIS is the way they are taught to do things.
Now, to add insult to injury, most of the time ATC will confirm the altitude with you yet
again when shipping you to the next sector controller (Bohai 7123 maintain 3600 meters, contact
Beijing control on 123.45) which initiates a whole new flurry of altitude confirmations; the next
controller will also confirm Its an altitude confirmation shit-ball free-for-all rolling downhill
toward the farmhouse at full tilt.
I dare you to dare me to tell you about confirming squawk codes, taxi routes, holding
short of the runway, clearance to land, clearance to takeoff, clearance to pushback, confirmation
of what gate youre at (even when in plain view of the tower and youre the only airplane on the
Page | 194

ramp) or clearance to start engines. Fuck, make it stop. Oh wait, it did stop, I quit. Confirm you
want to quit? Fuck you!
One way in, one way out:
As I mentioned above, there is one way in and one way out of every airport. You fly in
China at the pleasure of the PLA (thats the Peoples Liberation Army bitchezzz!); its their
airspace, they have all the guns, so I guess you kindof have to play along. Essentially, what they
havent really figured out yet is that what you have at your fingertips is the ultimate off-road
vehicle. Why they have trouble taking an off-roader off-road I dont know. Perhaps they have
really weak military radar and keep everyone bunched up so that they can detect intruders easier?
Just a guess I heard mentioned over beers at the pub one time. Or maybe theyre taking cues
from soccer moms in the US who drive $100K Hummers with flawless paintjobs on paved roads,
avoiding potholes at all costs. Maybe not.
Line up and wait:
They have this really awkward clearance (no, this one is particularly awkward) where
they clear you to line up and wait behind landing traffic. Its basically a clearance to die. You
look out the window to find the traffic on final, wait for them to pass you by, and then you cross
the hold bars all on your own cognizance. Sometimes Ive waited as long as 1:45, counting the
seconds ticking by the landing lights of your traffic (a beastly Chinese turboprop ripoff of the
Dash-8) just little dots in the sky probably 6 or 7 miles out! Well, maybe its all fine and good
for you, the Westerner holding short, because you know you arent a dipshit and you wont do
something flippin crazy; but, what about you, the Westerner on final watching a confused local
line up on the runway you were cleared to land on moments earlier? This is something you have
very little extra attention to watch for (IF you hear the instruction in English that is) at 500ft with
all the other stupid SHIT you have to pay attention to like follow the glideslope to the DOT in
VMC and VASI in sight I just dont see how they havent had more accidents over there. They
have to be covering shit up.

Youre pissing off George, dammit.

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Standby. Confirm standing by? Standby. Roger, standing by! Roger.

If youve flown around the Atlantic Northeast youve undoubtedly experienced EDICT
times and other flow control methods over the years. Its been a while since Ive operated in the
US so youll have to excuse my lack of insight with current FAA and ATC mojo. Ive been #80
for departure my fair share of times at airports like Dulles, Atlanta and Kennedy/La Guardia.
Its interesting that Ive never seen more than 3 or 4 airplanes lined up on any given
taxiway in China, rarely at that, and they tend to clear these out fairly quickly. The reason is that,
instead of pushing back and getting in line, you receive a takeoff time when you declare you are
fully ready to the tower. (doors closed, tug connected). Minimally youre going to wait 10-15
minutes for your push time, but this can spiral out of control Sweet.
So, this is not to say that there are few delays and that the system in China is superefficient; quite the contrary. Oh no, its all screwed up, rest assured. Flow control is atrocious,
regularly incurring 2 hour delays and sometimes as much as 4 or 5. Plenty of foreign captains
complain about 16 hour duty days to cover 3 hours of flying. So, no, its not better by a long shot
(please refer to Appendix I for a company published record of recent pilot duty times that went
past 14 hours).
There seems to be some seasonality to these delays, but I cant be too sure. Military
activity is one of the big contributors (when the government is having its party meetings youre
going to be sitting around a lot too). It is their airspace after all, and if they are on manoeuvers,
you will wait until theyre done (as the passengers get angrier and angrier). The other big
contributor is weather of course. If a drop of rain falls from the sky you can be sure there will be
some waitin goin on at the gate.
Of course, the flip side of this coin is that, seeing as how there is 1 airway serving as the
backbone enroute structure between groups of airports that everyone has to share, there will be a
huge backlog of flights that bottleneck the airspace. It may take days to fully recover from a
well-placed thunderstorm. Ive seen them cancel pages of flights because fog lingered too long
somewhere. Flooding in the South may back things up in the North. Its a friggin mess, and the
paying passengers bear the brunt of course. Why the general public in China puts up with this, I
dont know oh wait, they arent allowed to possess firearms or complain openly about the
government. Maybe thats why? Its a situation of billions of desperately obedient people
powerless to better their lot in life, ruled by a government of few that keeps them all oppressed.
What an irony, what a pity. Too bad it seems to be the trend in the USA.

Woes Configuring the Aircraft

There is a phobia in China against configuring for a full flaps landing. I dont know why.
I remember a kid I was flying with who went several shades of yellow when I suggested we land
with it all hangin out. The fear in this kids face was palpable as I explained that we were at a
high altitude airport in the desert in the depths of summer: high density altitude was working
against us. As I went on explaining the effects of high landing speed on brake temperature (not to
mention landing distance) there was no sign of relenting. Fear was in his eyes, Captain, he
began tentatively, We are prohibited from landing flaps full. Nonsense, I answered. No
captain, it is against SOP. Now I knew I had him and broke out the SOP handbook to reference
landing configuration. Finding the paragraph, I read it aloud and slowly, making sure he
understood. But captain, if we have a problem, we will be in trouble with the chief pilot. This
was strike 3 for the conversation. I could see the urgency of his fear still coursing through his

Page | 196

veins, so I did the thing Id never done in the US: I relented and landed flaps 5 per the Chinese
word of mouth SOP configuration.

Green Dot Woes

There is an irrational fear amongst the Chinese in general (Chinese FOs and captains) of
the green dot feature of the speed tape in both the Airbus 320 and the EMB190. Airbus defines
green dot as Vx (best climb) for two-engine and single-engine operation. Embraer defines green
dot as single-engine drift down speed (were splitting hairs on this definition; L/D max is the
operative concept at play) and the recommended calculated flap deployment speed.
In spite of experienced Western Captains, some of whom have been instructors, showing
published information in factory manuals for both of these aircraft (like the Airbus FCOM,
performance manuals etc), the Chineses irrational fear has persisted. You see, you fear what you
dont understand, and you dont understand things you dont engage with and think about. You
dont think about things when your instructor browbeats you and berates you.
Take the example of captain Ahn who I mentioned earlier. He loves his mirrored
sunglasses; he does NOT understand his aircraft or know how to teach. When another Captain
was setting up the FMS box in the EMB190, punching in the takeoff speeds, Ahn lost it and
started screaming about the takeoff pitch angle. It was indicating 10.7 o in the box and 11o in the
takeoff performance binder. He reached down and punched in a revised V2 number to bring the
pitch back up to 11o Great. Just great. Set an arbitrary number in V2 just to satisfy .3o of pitch.

Seriously, is there a carbon monoxide leak in this country were not being told about or something?
Oh wait.

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The purpose of this follow-me car is to lead you down this dangerously straight line to the end by those
trees and buildings with the sign I circled in RED on the previous page.

Wow. Stop means Stop eh? Thanks for issuing a friggin notice on this. Retards.
Page | 198

CA LEFT Rudder LEFT.

So there I was flying right-seat for one of these retards who upgrade from time to time.
We had a stiff crosswind with at least 7-degrees of crab. As we entered the flare I realized he was
never going to straighten us out; for shit sake, we were staring at the grass and terminals. So, I
put in some LEFT rudder and we touched down OK. After we landed, this so-called new
captain asked if I had put in RIGHT rudder. I said, No, which was true I had put in LEFT
rudder, and quite a bit of it as well. Retards.

Seems violence begets violence no matter where you are in the world
Page | 199

Altitudes
It may have been lost in the rush, but you might have picked up on me mentioning meters
in relation to altitudes. Get ready for one of the more totally retarded features of Chinese
aeronautical practice: they dont use feet! You wont realize how extremely important and
facilitating it has been to standardize various things aviation until you operate in a system that
flies in the face of the way everyone else does it. While Im not against the metric system in
principle, meters are the gayest unit for measuring altitudes for the reason that its not common
practice. Ill bet the mentality behind it is the sino-centric belief that the rest of the world will
eventually come into line with this master race and model system of aviation efficiency and
safety. Pthththth
The job of changing altitude (and every-friggin-thing else) has become an ordeal just
waiting to blow up in your face. I just dont get how they accomplish fucking up a system that is
otherwise beautiful and elegant in its refined simplicity. Heres an example: for setting 500
meters in the altitude preselect of the EMB145:
The PFD altitude presentation in the EMB145 is split to display meters and feet at the
same time, meters in small numbers above feet in big numbers. The altitude select knob is
coupled to meters unless you depress the toggle button at the top/center of the knob. By toggling
to feet, the gayer meters disappear and you are left with manly Western units. So, you have the
presentation coupled to these gay, wimpy meters and set 9800 the problem is that the system
conversion results in FL322 instead of FL321. So, you have to toggle the selector knob to feet,
set FL321 and then toggle back to meters (which will now show the incorrect value of 9750). Big
deal? Well, what happens when youre in challenging weather conditions (trying to avoid little
red cells on the WX radar), task saturated and trying to fly a horribly vectored route with
someone who cant speak English and telling you the wrong direction to turn and youre trying
to verify but some asshole is monopolizing the frequency confirming their own fucking altitude
10 fucking times. Do you see a detail falling through the cracks homeboy?
Below is a table of the standard altitudes you are going to be assigned. Thats right, its
retarded like everything else in this halfwit, thrown together mess they call Chinese aviation.
Read it over a bit and tell me if this causes you any possible confusion. I dare you to tell me the
methodology here is safe (I friggin dare you):
m 180-359 f
600
2000
1200
3900
1800
5900
2400
7900
3000
9800
3600
11800
4200
13800
4800
15700
5400
17700
6000
19700

m 180-359 f
6600
21700
7200
23600
7800
25600
8400
27600
9200
30100
9800
32100
10400
34100
11000
36100
11600
38100
12200
40100

m 0-179 f
900
3000
1500
4900
2100
6900
2700
8900
3300
10800
3900
12800
4500
14800
5100
16700
5700
18700
6300
20700

m 0-179 f
6900
22600
7500
24600
8100
26600
8900
29100
9500
31100
10100
33100
10700
35100
11300
37100
11900
39100
12500
41100

So, do you see all the little gatchas hidden all over in there?
Page | 200

Heres another chance with some color-coded pointers in case you missed them first time around:
m 180-359 f
600
2000
1200
3900
1800
5900
2400
7900
3000
9800
3600
11800
4200
13800
4800
15700
5400
17700
6000
19700

m 180-359 f
6600
21700
7200
23600
7800
25600
8400
27600
9200
30100
9800
32100
10400
34100
11000
36100
11600
38100
12200
40100

m 0-179 f
900
3000
1500
4900
2100
6900
2700
8900
3300
10800
3900
12800
4500
14800
5100
16700
5700
18700
6300
20700

m 0-179 f
6900
22600
7500
24600
8100
26600
8900
29100
9500
31100
10100
33100
10700
35100
11300
37100
11900
39100
12500
41100

OK, lets take a closer look at the pretty rainbow colors in this table. First, 3900 meters is
their 10,000ft (transition altitude for changing your altimeter to standard 1013hp in the climb), so
its a super common altitude to be assigned. Make sure you set 3900 meters and not 3900 feet
because the two are worlds apart. The same holds for 9800, 8900, 6900 and 3000. Dont be
confused by what I term the dyslexic pairs like 2100/1200. There are a bunch of these in there
too.
Can you see yourself setting the wrong altitude in a task-saturated situation which has
been exacerbated with a) unnecessary and wordy radio calls, b) forcibly congested airspace, c)
inauspicious weather, d) some dipshit out there who doesnt know what hes doing and fucks it
up for all the other airspace users in his vicinity? I can see it and its happened to me. I was
lucky and got away with it But, add into this situation a controller and FO who cant speak
English and boy you have a real hum-dinger situation on your hand, or out of your hands as the
case may be. Shucks, perhaps you better start confirming those altitudes 3 or 4 times after all for
yourself

Right, lets smear as much fucking glue as we can on both sides and then scratch the shit out of it. THERE!
Yup, that oughta do the trick! God damn, China. I say, God damn.
Page | 201

So, the next cute little problem with this Chinese system is that when you set certain
altitudes in meters, the computer logic in some of these aircraft rounds the wrong direction (I
mentioned this above). Well, it rounds the correct way, the Chinese rounded the wrong way
when they set shit up. For example, 8900meters FL292 = FL291; the Chinese have mandated
that 8900meters is FL291. So, as I pointed out earlier, you have to deselect meters, input the
altitude in feet, then reselect meters. This is also true of 500meters 1600ft = 1700ft; but again
in China, this one is 1700ft. So you get to have fun trying to set a uncooperative altitude while
youre descending for an approach in the terminal area, dodging weather cells (and buildings that
appear to be cells because the FOs have the radar pointed straight down and are scared of their
own shadow), confirming the altitude 6 or 7 times, avoiding QARs of all shapes and descriptions,
resolving communication issues and avoiding a million targets on TCAS. Does ANYONE besides
me see a real potential for an accident here? I must be flippin crazy.

EGPWS Fault, A Hypothetical

One of the captains was telling me about a hypothetical case he brought up with the FOs
which may or may not be that hypothetical. He was just flying along, shootin the bull and
thought to ask something that would most likely strike any Western pilot as a piffling annoyance.
He asked the FO if while in cruise at altitude (say, FL270... wait, FL266, I mean FL8100meters)
the EGPWS wigged out and started announcing Terrain, Terrain, Pull Up What would you
do? The FO perked up and answered, Captain, Id follow SOP of course and perform the escape
guidance. No no, the foreign captain interrupted, I mean, way up here in VFR conditions
like we are, up at FL250. What would you do? I know, I know! I would follow SOP!
The foreign Captain confirmed one last time that the FO would do this at high altitude
and in visual conditions when its clearly a faulty GIPWIZ annunciation. Yes. He thought this
over for a while, and over time started asking a few of the other FOs the same question. He got a
significant number of confirmations that SOP should be followed no matter what, no matter if
you may cause a TCAS alert. So, you have that going for you, which is nice. Hope the RADALT
doesnt suddenly malfunction and trigger a spurious Terrain, Terrain otherwise you may
have a 757 inauspiciously sticking out of your forehead.

Communication
Nope, I have not exhausted my comments on communication in China. Consider for a
moment that non-English speakers are communicating in English to other non-English speakers
who are replying in English and trying to relay the content of those transmissions to you. What
we have here is a failure to communication.
What you need to understand up front is that, being the obedience-centric culture they are
here, the voice in the headset is an authority and you the headset wearer are the pawn or at
least thats how they have it parsed out. If ATC isues a command, you are to follow it
immediately without question. If you lose radio contact, you are in really deep shit. The Chinese
treat lost comm. as a major incident, a violation of safety and reason to be shot and left for dead
the moment you land your airplane. One of the Embraer factory pilots was unfortunate enough to
get caught in a lost comm. situation for about 5 or 10 minutes and they came down hard on him.
I think he had to leave TJ because of it; though I heard he was flying with China Southern after
the dust settled. Being a factory pilot put him a little above the law I think, so he had that going
for him, which is nice.

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Revisiting barriers of communication on deck, I heard one EMB190 captain complaining

about the time he had briefed a flaps full landing. Upon calling for the landing check he realized
the flaps were at 4 when he called for flaps full the FO had completely failed to understand,
thinking he had said four. Compounding the
incomprehensibility of this situation, flaps 4 is
reserved only as a go-around or takeoff
configuration in the EMB190; it is not for
landing. The FO blindly followed what he
thought the captain had instructed him to do, or
(less likely, believe it or not) didnt know that
flaps 4 was not a landing configuration.
Remember how I was saying something
about how impossible its going to be to learn
Chinese? Well, you might just want to take
some lessons anyhow. See, its like they can
speak with each other secretly in your face, and
they take advantage of this fact often. You will
hear them bla-bla-bla-ing about lawai-this and
Looks like we need one o them good ol
lawai-that with an occasional name you
fashioned knowledge beatings, Duke
recognize thrown in theyre talking shit and
you know it. Am I glad Im out of that freakin 3-ring circus.

Next, were going to be covering why flying fast causes heart disease

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Incapacitation?
Just kinda interesting is all

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Weak GS Signals; False LOCs All Over the Place.

Most airports in China have really weak LOC and GS signals. Often, there is a ton of
interference that causes false signals. I have never encountered a false GS in all my life, but false
LOCs are quite common there. For the longest time 34L at Tianjin had a huge false signal and
youd capture up to 1.2 miles from the course on the base leg (Im not doing the maths for the
degrees, you can do that on your spare time).
If youve ever actually flown an airplane before, meaning you arent Chinese so yes you
have, youve probably brought it in a little high on final before. You know what Im talking
about: 13-DME, pointer floating around 2 dots high, flight-idle, let it bleed down as you drop the
laundry and pow youre established at or around the outer marker on-speed, slope and LOC. Do
this in China and see what happens. Just do it, I dare you. See what happens beeotch. Besides
harvesting a plethora of QAR busts in one deftly smooth move, youre performing the dreaded
intercept the GS from above maneuver. I have never in my life been so frustrated as when
hearing some idiot tell me this practice is unsafe and that Im a bad pilot for doing it. Wait till I
tell you about rolling takeoffs Oh, you guessed its not considered safe in China already?
Getting into the swing of things I see. For the slow or weak of stomach out there, its prohibited
to do a rolling takeoff. Strictly. No soup for you.

Take note of the following changes

to the ICAO phonetic alphabet:

A arfa
C charee
G gawff
I indeer
L leemer
O ozgah
P pah-PAH!
S sea-air
V vigor
W wiggie
Hereby notified!

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Laser Tag
For whatever reason, the Chinese
love them some lay-zers. Personally, Ive
been exposed to more laser light during my
stint flying in China than the time I went to
the Pink Floyd Laserium show at Griffith
Observatory in LA and the projector went
berserk. Hell, you can see em down there
hunting for ya whenever youre flying over
any given city. But then, they generally
seem to like flashy bright lights in China.
The facades of their buildings all look like
gaudy computer screensavers at night. You see spotlights and laser beams all over the rooftops of
high-rises and hotels, built into fancy rap-booming pimp-mobiles on the road, just all over the
place. In fact, you can see the occasional vendor with a stool, sitting on the side of the road after
dark selling these flashy green laser thingys. For 150RMB you too can wield a dangerous toy
suitable for blinding pilots and people of all walks all over China. (The red circle in the figure
above shows one of these Chinese green lasers pointing at the face of a building a mile or two
away; the bright green spots are where its hitting the surface during the extended nighttime
photo exposure; I couldnt hold the camera steady enough because I was too drunk at the time.)
One pilot was hit twice in one night
operating around two different airports. A
third pilot was attracted to something moving
outside just after takeoff from Huhfey and
looked out his side window. It was at this
point that a green laser hit him square in the
left eye. He was just a tad too slow clamping
his lids and turning his head away, he told
me; he actually saw the person down there
with it and by the time he realized he was a
target it was too late. It left a Nike swoosh at the bottom of my eyesight in my left eye. I could
see the after-image for days. Who knows if the damage is permanent, but I cant tell its there
anymore, so I hope its OK. I guess Ill know for sure if I go blind in my left eye when Im 50.
Yet another pilot had a series of hits at Taiyuan. Short final to one end of the runway has
a large mall/apartment complex placed barely a couple
hundred feet from the centerline. For several nights
either a person was standing up there flashing a green
laser or it was a motion detecting beam director
running amuck. In any case, like clockwork theyd get
hit right at about 300 feet while landing. The last straw
was one night when he saw the beam dancing around
the overhead panel inside the cockpit. He had the FO
complain directly to the control tower. Finally, after
lodging several reports to the company and ATC the
laser was either removed or the person doing it was
arrested by the police (or more likely, whomever it was simply lost interest).
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There was yet another significant event over Xian where a crew was exposed to a
prolonged laser attack. The FO reported it to ATC who said theyd pass the info on to the local
authorities. A similar exchange was heard over the radio between the tower and a departure
aircraft by yet another foreign captain while taxiing out to the runway. He said he heard sirens a
few minutes later while he was lining up for takeoff himself. The culprit mustve been chased off
because there was no flash when they themselves departed.
In another twist, one of the foreign captains was telling me that the Chinese use these
green lasers to chase birds away from the runway area during the day. Interesting theory The
only thing I can say is be careful looking out the window at night in China; I guess your only
solace during the day rests in the fact that maybe the attackers cant really see where theyre
aiming and your eyes are dilated down.

Hey China retards, these are not light-saber toys you dimwits.
Fireworks
The Chinese also love them some fireworks. If you have never been in China for their
New Years celebration, you have never really had occasion to run for your life. Unless you have
been chased by a bear that is. China comes loose at the damned seams every Spring Festivalit
lasts for a week or two by the way (and then theres every other calendar day opportunity they
can think of throughout the year to blow off a bunch of flying explosives). Can you imagine a
volley of sky-bursts going off underneath ya while trying to land? I can because it happened,
often.
Ive seen buildings gone ablaze because some carelessly placed firework cube has fallen
over, launching its volley sideways into the faade (Hey, thats my apartment!). Ive seen reports
on TV (translated by the FOs) of trucks that have taken down bridges and killed a bunch of
people because their load of fireworks went off. Ive heard of significant numbers of people
being injured, property being damaged and can you imagine the cleanup after a few hundred
thousand feet of crackers goes off? Its intensely laborious. Youd guess correctly if you figured
they tend to just leave the mess to blow away or be washed down by rain.
If you do find yourself in China during Spring Festival and chose not to seek shelter, be
sure to do something extremely dumb and have your driver scare you up a box of brilliantly
decorated high explosives. Theyre a gas to light off here and there, now and then. Of course,
dont try to take them back to your home country with ya!

Left: OK, thats a friggin string of M80s. Right: 1 of about 1000 sky-bursts right outside my damned window.
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Preflight Inspection
The walk-around cannot be delegated to the FO unless you want to live
dangerously. They recently require you to wear a safety vest while you do your once-around per
flight too; its pretty gay. Youll notice that the planes go through cycles of being fairly clean to
downright dirty birds. Wait. They were clean because they were new. Never mind. Anyhow,
while you do your walkaround, one of the FOs will do one, as will the security officer. So yeah,
3 guys are going to do a walkaround each flight. Its like a little parade. Sometimes the
maintenance personnel get in on it too. Walkaround baby, wakaround! Its the in thing in
Chinese aviation.
Having said this, YOU are the only one who is going to find anything wrong with the
airplane because YOU are the only one who will have left his cellphone on deck or kept it in
your pocket. One captain I was chatting with in regards to preflight inspections related a story in
which an FO entered the flight deck after both of them had done the walk. The CA asked the FO
if anything was wrong with the airplane: No captain. Well, looks like you need to do the walk
again then. So the FO came back a second time: Did you see anything wrong this time? No
captain. You didnt see the friggin NAV LIGHTS ARE OFF?!? He flipped them on and
instructed the FO to do a third walk around. Fuck me.

Domains and Pissing Grounds

So there we were in Hanjo ready for push. After a small-ish delay, they cleared us back
and we started the musak. Midway through our glorious little tug ride Ground called us in a panic:
Bohai 1234, what is your gate? We responded that we were not parking and not at a gate, but
previously we were at 318. Ooooh, Bohai 1234 you said you were at gate 308. (At this point
the reader should be aware that the Chinese have an uncanny knack for pronouncing one to
sound like zero IF you suspend disbelief and think they can count in English to begin with.) I
was just about to have a ruptured spleen over this because it could mean my ass, but the
controller told us no problem after the FO asserted over the radio he was sure hed said one.
Now, this should be an indication of how completely retarded the Chinese are in general
and how bad they are at problem solving and situational awareness: gate 308 is nowhere near
318 in Hanjo. To make matters worse, Bohai NEVER parks way over there on that part of the
terminal. Lastly, that entire gate complex had been empty the entire time of our turnaround. So
there you have it about that one or zero as the case may be. Yeah, lets make it a zero in this
case.

Hainan/TJA HQ in Xian
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Now, just in case you were thinking that I was overreacting and being Duke-ishly dramatic as
usual about being punished for this scenario above, heres the example:
Various units within the Department:
June 12, Captain C execute GS6681 (Wihan-Nanning) flights in Wuhan airport the crew launched the
aircraft as indicated by tompo contact 121.9 (Wuhan airport site command center frequency). 121.9
launched in obtaining permits, but did not obtain regulatory approvals (Wuhan aerodrome control
frequency 121.65) in the case, indicating the ground crew launch aircraft. Aircraft into place, the unit
liaison with 121.65 regulatory point out its launch aircraft without permission and instructed place to wait
about 1 minute after the aircraft slide, subsequent flights normally.
Later investigation, not the unauthorized introduction of flights, but got live license, but the introduction
of flights in Wuhan airport should be ground permission before launch. Because The airport has three
frequencie 131.5 121.9 121.65 when the first officer responsible for communications get 121.9
to open the command, resulting in a misconception that the final push to get permission indicating that the
first officer on the operation of the airport in Wuhan is not familiar while the copilot during communication
in Chinese, so Chinese expatriate captain unclear content of communications, loss of the flight captain
checks the contents of the communication, not effectively play the cockpit resources. This event constitutes
a general flight with errors.
In view of this, in order to educate himself, warning others, according to the flight department
management manual employee incentive provisions of Section 7.3.13-1)-(24) provisions of the sectorial
studies, decided:
Give Captain C criticized sanctions.

If that wasnt enough to un-curl your pubes, here is the memo sent out to (all) pilots after
this major event to make sure everyone knew not to put their pee-pee on the line ever again
(BTW youll notice the language several cases in the first sentence which is Chenglish for
it happened once but were going to blow it totally out of proportion so we get our point
across):
To all 190 pilots: Recently several cases of ground push back or taxiing route not complying with ATCs
order have happened within the E190 fleet in Wuhan, Jinan and other airports. This notice is therefore
produced for all 190 pilots to carefully confirm the ground taxiing route so as to ensure normal and safe
ground operation:
1. Improve the quality of flight preparation, and enhance the study of NOTAM, especially the content about
airport under construction without closing, newly added or constructed runway, change of taxiing route,
new obstacles (such as construction tower crane, etc.), which should be well known by all crew members.
2. Pay special attention to airports in Jinan, Wuhan, Xinjiang, Guiyang, Fuzhou and so on, where flight
crew should specify the taxiing route during takeoff briefing since the taxiing routes at those airports are
complex. In addition, attach importance to airports in Wuhan, Fuzhou and so on where the startup,
pushback and taxiing clearances are given by ATCs on different frequencies.
3. Whenever it is startup taxiing or vacating runway, after the controller gives the taxiing route, flight crew
should crosscheck with the airport chart. In case of any doubt, stop taxiing and timely reconfirm with the
controller.
4. During taxiing, if the order of temporarily changing taxiing route is obtained, flight crew should
immediately reduce taxiing speed until the aircraft stops (if necessary). And resume taxiing after crew
members crosscheck and confirm the changed route.
5. Enhance the recognition of external taxiing

I dont know about you but my pubes are pretty straight right about now.
Even the Indians think the Chinese are crooked.
Capt. Anon.
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CA Just Shoot Me in the Head Already?

So there I was, flying in China. We had engines started, ready to taxi out of the remote
stand at Xian. The follow-me car was waiting patiently in front of us. Ground Control chimed in,
Cleared to taxi: Bravo, Bravo 4, Arfa, Arfa 1, hold short 23Reft. I flicked the nose light on,
waved to the ground crew, released the brakes and eased her forward. 2 seconds later Ground
urgently told us to, Hold short Bravo. A flurry of Chinese was going back and forth across the
radios. What the fuck now?
I stopped the aircraft; we were about halfway out of the parking spot, our fuselage
jackknifed across the little surface vehicle road that runs the length of the remote spots. Looking
up and down Bravo there was no traffic. Finally the FO told me we were going to be #2 to follow
a China Southern 737. I gazed across Bravo and the intervening grass at taxiway Alpha: there
were 2 China Southern 737s; one a little to our right, another about two blocks down to the left.
I was guessing wed go after the second 737 since the first one was no factor. The follow me car
was long gone at this point...

Xian: an exercise in making the simple as complicated as you can

So, I sat and waited for ground to clear us to continue. I waited as the second China
Southern aircraft approached. I waited until they were in front of us on Alpha short of Bravo 4,
and they stopped. WTF??? Then ground cleared us to taxi Captain, we must follow the first
China Southern airplane. The first plane was already lining up for takeoff. I released the break,
eased onto Bravo with a right turn; turned left at Bravo 4, turned right again at Alpha and we
preceded on our way with my mind blown like a pneumatic jackhammer.
WTF just happened???
I dont know Captain.
You really dont know?
No.
Son, China just happened, thats what.
* * *
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So there I was another time flying around Xian, at night this time. We were taxiing in
and boy howdy there was one big ol bright friggin light just blazing across the N/S complex
connector taxiway.
What the hell is that?
I dont know Captain.
Well, tell them to turn it off because Im not taxiing through it.
I eased her to a stop and set the brake.
Why not?
Son, its night time right now. And Im trying to taxi here. Theres a 90-degree right
turn I have to make immediately after where that light is positioned, and Id like to be
able to see when I get there. If they do not turn off that light I will have to do 1 of two
things: A. shield and avert my eyes or B. just ignore it and deal with the consequences. If
I do A. then I cant see where Im going and this is not a very good idea in a 300-million
dollar jet. If I do B. then my eyes will wash-out and dilate and I still wont be able to see
and turn properly. I dont like either of these options so Im asking you to tell the ground
controller to tell those guys to turn off their big-ol light before I move our sumbitch
aircraft forward another inch.
What should I say to Ground Control, Captain?

AMEN.
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Taxiing and Passengers

OK, weve all had the occasional unruly passenger to deal with, its a fact of life. But,
you will soon learn that Chinese passengers, besides all the other shit theyre not supposed to do,
do not follow the seatbelt sign, period. And neither does the cabin crew enforce the rule, period.
Ive been taxiing and heard the lav door slam on more than one occasion, only to watch a
passenger emerging to sit down on the security camera. How many times have I been riding in
the back and seen groups of people get up just after weve landed to get their bags from the
overhead compartments? It happens every flight and there is nothing you can do about it. Dont
even try pulling that captain shit we pull in the West when someone is standing while were
taxiing and stop the airplane on the taxiway; this will cause a mushroom-cloud of confusion (the
FAs wont call you anyhow so youll probably never know if someone is standing or not).
Heres a twist though. There was this one time in Sanya when I was returning from
training aboard one of their 320s. The bums rush is especially bad in China so I preferred to
hang back whenever confronted with some line to be stood in. I just wait for the insanity to calm
down and put my dog in the fight when it looks like things are cool. So, I waited calmly as the
fire drill commenced at the gate, and made my way when the making was suitably better.
I sauntered down the sweltering jetbridge hoping to slide into some seat with a minimum
of drama (there are no confirmed seats for company business if youll remember from an earlier
chapter). I entered the cabin: pandemonium. Total, utter pandemonium was taking place in the
aisle of this aircraft. Passengers were practically hanging from the ceiling with carry-on baggage,
trying to find seats, shouting as they tend to do over there (they have no indoor voice in
China), just mass hysteria.
So, I waited again calmly. I had my own 2 bags that needed stowing, but I waited
patiently. One of the panicked cabin crew grabbed my flight kit, so I was down to finding a spot
for my roll-aboard. No such luck Charlie Brown, the overheads were full. So I waited some more;
there were maybe 4 other passengers counting myself who hadnt yet sat down.
As I was waiting, the main doors closed and announcements started. I waited some more.
The safety demonstrations began. I waited some more, still standing with my bag and a couple of
other passengers doing the same. I felt the brakes release and the plane began to push back from
the gate. I could see us moving out the windows. I waited still longer, feeling my patience giving
way to anger smoldering in the back of my neck. The engines started and we began taxiing. I was
now expressing myself earnestly to the nearest FAs who still had no clue what to do with me or
my bag, or the other passengers for that matter. We were now hurriedly taxiing for takeoff.
Just in the nick of time, I pushed my way into the aft galley, threw my bag into a semiempty cart that I found luckily, and plopped down in an empty seat as the engines wound up for
takeoff. Can you imagine this happening on SouthWest? NOT. Maybe on a regional like Express
Jet

Your guess is as good as mine here. Maybe: Get a better job so you can afford 1st class? Just a thought.
And: drinking more alcohol with more sleeping pills is a killer idea! Love it, China!
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]
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CA WTF? Are You Kidding Me?

For those of you who thought the passenger sign ordeal above was bad, close this book
now and run away. The next story is reserved for the brave.
So, there I was, flying in China when all of a sudden we had thunderstorms at our
destination of Foojoe. We dialed up ATC and asked for a hold: You want WHAT?!? That
didnt work, so we asked to just orbit around some fix. They gave us 5 minutes. But I want to
wait for the storm to pass, we have a full tank of fuel 5 minutes white boy. Sigh.
We spun a bunch of donuts in the air for 5 minutes (ATC doesnt friggin know how to
issue holding instructions) while keeping 1 eye on TCAS, another eye on WX/LX and another
eye on solving where we were going to divert. It looked like Shamen was the likely candidate,
being about 15 minutes away, and so Shamen it was to be. We got radar vectors to final and
landed no problem.
The passengers deplaned and we come up with our strategy for lunch: theres a great
restaurant just outside the airport. Great! So, we jumped on our own crew bus about 30 minutes
later and went for food. It was OK, not anything to write home about. After everyone was done,
we saddled back up and went back to the plane. The passengers got back on and we waited for
our flow time to go to an airport about 10 minutes away.
After a while, we got clearance and blasted off. Now, mind you, we were already a
significant way through our 16 hour duty period; definitely more than halfway, and probably
closer to 10 hours. I could smell another storm a-brewin.
We landed in Foojoe and the passengers got off. Then we waited and waited and
waited. I asked what was going on a few times no answers. We waited some more. Now a
couple of hours had passed and I really had a case of ants-in-the-pants: I wanted to get going, our
duty allotment was quickly reaching its end here. Finally a bus appeared. Great. People started
getting on. Great. I was getting clearances, loading sheets and weather reports. Great. A
pushback crew came and hooked up to the nose-wheel. Great. We closed the doors and got
permission to push and start engines. Great.
As we were pushing back, commotion erupted in the back. I hear muffled shouts and
yelling. What for the love of God was going on in the back of this aircraft? I queried the FO to
query the Purser. The Purser came back: 3 passengers were standing in the aisle and wouldnt sit
down. Shit. OK. Lets start an engine, maybe the sound of it spooling up will get them into shape
and prompt them to sit down.
I engaged the starter on #1 up she spooled like a champ. After engine start I asked the
FO to find out what the situation was in the back. No go GI Joe, we still have 3 in the aisle. OK,
make an announcement that we are not moving the plane until everyone is seated. The FO made
the announcement in Chinese. OK wait a minute and ask whats happening again... No effect?
Shit. OK, lets shut down the engine and see if the sound of silence jars them out of their frenzy.
Nope, still shouting.
I was flabbergasted. I didnt know what to do; this was so far beyond my experience, so
far beyond my thermostat for logical or even illogical behavior, I had nothing. Yes, they had
been experiencing a 5-hour delay while we were in Shamen trying to figure out our shit. ATC
hadnt let us hold in the air when we were trying to stall for time and let the weather pass after all.
There was a big thunderstorm to which they clearly had born witness (it was quite an electrical
storm). They were in a fairly well-appointed airport terminal food, rest areas they could

Page | 213

even have called relatives for a ride home or gone to a hotel. So, whats the issue? They were
now on an airplane and we were going to go fly.
What should I do? What could I do? So, I told the FO to tell the ground crew we were
going to have them pull us back into the gate. Tell them to do it really slowly and extremely
carefully: we have passengers standing up and we dont want them to fall down and be injured.
So, the parking brake came off and we rolled back into the gate very, very slowly.

I asked the FO to call dispatch and cancel the flight because we were now officially past
our duty time. OK, the flight was now canceled. What do you want to do now captain? Well,
lets get the people off, shut the plane down and go get some rest. Great. The stairs came up a
while later, the door opened and about 10 people got off.
Whats happening, why arent the people getting off? We waited a minute. Nothing.
Captain, the people refuse to leave. WHAT?!? About 40 passengers were refusing to get out
of their seats. This, again, was so far beyond my experience I couldnt handle it.
Why wont they get off of this airplane?
They want money.
Money? What money? I dont have any money!
Yes, they want the company to give them money as compensation.
Wow. Compensation because there was a friggin thunder storm? Tell them to get off the
airplane and go to the gate agent; theres nothing we can do for them here. We cannot authorize
giving out money. I didnt bring my wallet anyhow.
They still refuse to get off because they say the gate agent lied to them.
The gate lied to them?
Yes captain, the gate agent said we had food for them on the airplane and that we would
authorize refunds.
What?!?
Things were starting to get a little serious here. I actually did have my wallet with me.
What we had on our hands has come to be known as a PASSENGER REVOLT, a new thing that
had taken on as a fad in China over the last few years. One such occurrence at Shanghai resulted
Page | 214

in masses of pissed-off passengers who made their way out onto the tarmac and blocked
airplanes from taxiing and other Chinese continental faggetry.

I think Etihad has a different opinion about this affecting airport operations! Could you imagine JFK?
Aw hell, could you imagine sucking a passenger into the #1 engine?

Another incident of passenger revolt involved a crew that was taken hostage the article is
referenced somewhere in this book I cant remember where right now, a few pages down or
something. Just look around a bit, or keep reading; youre bound to find something interesting.
Anyhow, so there we were, locked in the flight deck at about 2am with 40 berserking
Chinese in the back, rock you like a hurricane. Great.
Captain, what do you want to do now?
I dont know, call the police maybe? Army?
So, the FO called the police. We waited and waited and waited. Nothing. We waited
some more. Nothing. OK, I was done waiting. It was now officially time to take matters into our
own hands. I reached over and cranked the temperature controller to full hot. It was already
cookin and muggy outside... That oughta do it. After a few minutes passed, it indeed started to
get hot. It got right hot. The passengers I could see in the monitor were all fanning themselves.
But the Chinese can suffer the heat; its the cold they cant handle. So, I reached over and
cranked the temperature controller to full cold. It took a while, but after the wait there was frigid
air streaming out of those gasper vents. I watched the TV monitor for the reaction; if this didnt
do it, nothing would. The Chinese HATE the cold.

Page | 215

As I watched, I saw a couple of jackets come out good, good Then, to my compete
astonishment and utter disbelief, the flight attendants started handing out blankets and hot tea.
WHAT?!? I saw it in the monitor: blankets and hot tea. Were trying to get these people OFF of
this transport vehicle, not keep them ON with our good hospitality.
I had the FO ring up the Purser and ask what the hell was going on back there with the
blankets and hot tea. These people were free to leave at any time they wanted to; if the cold was
uncomfortable, tough shit. NOPE. Sorry captain, the FO explained, If the passengers
complain about the service, the cabin crew will be fired. FFWHAT?!? I was done. I was a
goner. Every last shred of sanity had exited my skull and I was left with nothing else. This was
the end of the road for me.
Now, it had been about an hour and a half since we had called the cops, and they finally
showed up in 3 or 4 SUVs with red/blue flashing lights. It was now going on 4ish in the AM.
Great. Now were going to see some action. Get your cameras out boys, theres police brutality
afoot.
The officers jumped out and formed a line at the bottom of the stairs. An importantlooking fellow climbed officiously up the stairs to the doorway, bullhorn in hand. He stepped
into the front entryway, raised the horn to his mouth and proceeded to speak. After a flurry of
Chinese was processed and broadcast through the electronic circuitry of his loudspeaker, we
waited. Silence. And then a handful of passengers got off, maybe 10.
I dont know what that guy just said, but it aint working.
So, it was back to waiting again. The FO told me the police instructed the company to
offer a monetary settlement to the remaining passengers. If there was no progress in the
negotiations the police would then intervene. This was the substance of his announcement.

Again we waited and waited. Dawn was breaking like bloody murder as the police
began to move around a bit. Several officers rushed up the stairs followed by 1 with a movie
camera. Yelling and shouting erupted from the cabin. We all watched out my window as the cops
Page | 216

dragged a couple of guys off the airplane, one screaming and crying at the top of his lungs. I had
no corner of my consciousness left to be shocked or incredulous. I had already gone bye bye.
Somehow, we had the wherewithal to shut down the aircraft, close up the doors and walk
through the terminal. We piled into a hotel shuttle and went to have rest. The hotel was not a
shithole, thank goodness. I mulled over what I had experienced and slept a bit. Going home we
did not have assigned seats, as usual, and I had a meltdown when I had to switch seats halfway
through the voyage home. It was what it was.
In retrospect, I think back about the events of that night and wonder what I took away
from the affair. I can honestly say nothing. There was absolutely nothing to learn from that night
besides how entirely frikkin messed up it is in China.

Holy shit, I thought this was only true for wanking off!
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]
Ed. note: What you have to understand about this incident is the back end. The foreign captain had absolutely no
support from the company. There was no debriefing. There was no inquiry. There was no report. He was
never told his handling of the situation was good or bad. He was never briefed on how to handle
situations of this type in the future. There was never any helpful information passed down at foreign pilot
meetings on how to deal with these events. It was swept under the carpet and never really spoken of.
THAT is what you can expect of these monkeys trying to fuck a football.

If this is not you by the time you leave China theres something wrong with ya.
Page | 217

Still More Passenger Hyjinks

This one time I was jumpseating back up from Sanya from a sim session and encountered
a fun little cultural difference. Down South it was nice and tropically warm. Up North it was
friggin cold. In the middle of the Chinese Chicken at our intermediate stop, Wuhan to be exact,
it was a bit nippely my liege. There were a bunch of snowbird vacationers going home on said
flight who realized that it was a tad on the chilly side when we pulled up to the gate (which to the
average Chinese person = arctic-circle cold): Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops were not going to do,
and they were not going to do RIGHT NOW.
So after a quick group discussion, up they jumped mind you, were still deplaning the
passengers who were stopping in Wuhan up they jumped, stormed their carry-on luggage in
the overhead compartments for thermal underwear and started to undress. My jaw hit the floor. A
couple of the cabin attendants who noticed my incredulity started tittering with that little
schoolgirl laughter they are so fond of. Off came the passengers shirts, off came their
undershirts, off came their shorts and flip-flops I wish theyd been hot bikini girl suntan oil
models.

Even Still More Passenger Hijinks

So there we were, boarding up and getting ready to go when I heard a commotion going
on in the galley. I had the SO open the door and was met by the frustrated voice of a foreigner in
(accented) English saying something. He peered around the corner when he heard the door open
and introduced himself to me as we made eye contact.
He was a nice enough fella, oldster Id say in his late 60s, and he explained to me right
away that hed forgotten both of his cellphones at security and could I please help him get them
back. He had that look in his eyes. They were his lifeline in China and hed be lost without them.
I agreed that this was essential and of course wed help him; wed make a couple of calls right
away and get the phones sent over forthwith. This was what I said. What I was thinking was
more along the lines of, Crap, what can I do for this guy. Im probably going to have to hike
across the ramp and into the terminal for him because there is no freakin way the Chinese are
equipped to deal with this kind of situation.
First, I ordered the FO to call the airport operations office and see what could be arranged.
He sneered. So I told him to do it again. He got on the horn and I sat back. This is going to take a
while. I waited and waited. A flurry of exchanges was taking place over the radio; OK, at least
something is being done here.

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A few minutes went by and I asked the FO what was up. Sorry Captain, they cannot find
the phone. OK, first off, its 2 phones, and I dont believe them. Ask again. Now I was pissed.
I wondered in my head if this kid had even put in the request; it could have been a bunch of
nonsense over the radio to make it look like he was complying with my orders. I decided to take
matters into my own hand and called dispatch on my phone. I explained the situation to him and
he agreed to do what he could to help us big whooptiedoo.
Outside I saw what looked to be a gate agent walking toward our aircraft. I jumped out of
the seat and hopped down the stairs to the tarmac. I confronted the lady and asked about the
phones. She said she tried hard but security would not bring the phones over. OK, well this story
does not match what that smug little FO had just told me. Are you sure they will not bring them
over? No Captain, I tried very hard. OK, try again. She was holding a radio which she
clicked and rambled off a bunch of Chinese. The look on her face was telling me, No go,
Captain G.I. Joe.
OK, look, this is a waste of time; you need to walk over to security yourself to get them
for me then. Her head dropped to one side as she was having trouble calculating the does not
compute information I was slinging at her. OK, we will go together and retrieve the phones.
Which way? I was walking toward the nearest jetway about 100 over. She grabbed my arm and
waggled her badge for me to see. Shit. Are you kidding me? OK, call those people up again and
tell them we are not moving this aircraft until we have the foreigners 2 cellphones in our hands.
Do you understand? She nodded her head and started working on her radio again.
I needed a diversion to buy us time. I slowly ambled up the stairs and back onto the plane.
I poked my head into the flight deck: sneers from the FO. OK, no changes there, hes still an
asshole. I turned and peered down the aisle to see if I could find the foreigner bingo! Last row.
OK, this was good. I started walking back as slowly as I could. My mind was racing I needed
a diversion a diversion think outside the box, dont get uptight. I hunched down next to his
seat and started chatting.
So, are you here on business or travel?
Im here on business and I need these phones. This is my only communication in China
and Im lost without them. I have no way to do anything. I am totally lost.
OK, dont worry, Im trying my best. I had a brainstorm and pulled out my own phone.
I called the dispatcher back.
Hello dispatch?
Yes, hello Captain, the delay is very long now
OK great, hey hang on a minute will you?
Yes Captain, but
I turned to my man, Heres your chance. Tell the person on the other end of this phone
your dilemma OK?
He took the phone from me and started relating his story to the dispatcher. A minute or
two crept by after which I noticed some commotion at the front galley. The purser was walking
toward me with something in her hands. I smiled: the phones. Great Caesars ghost! The man
handed me my own cellphone and I ran back up to the flight deck. So, I had scored a win for
once. It was dicey there for a while, and ya never let this kind of thing go to your head in China
because it will be taken from you 100-fold over the course of a month.

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Wait, you thought I was kidding earlier?

And here you thought I was the one full of shit

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The Bangening
So there I was in China scheduled for one of these 4-day trips they have you do that take
you on a grand tour of all over the place. It all began when we departed for XYZ China. The
METAR/TAF had been calling for 3000m visibility and 4oC, no precipitation. OK great, lets
launch. When we got there about an hour later the ATIS was calling visibility at 550m and the
temperature was -5oC, -SN FG: freakin great.
After a heavyweight round with George-Forman-style turbulence I planted her on the
runway without busting the touchdown g-force QAR. Go team me! I taxied us over to the stand
and shut her down. Little did I know there was a cluster fuck primed to explode Chinese shit all
over the dang place.
The passengers deplaned pretty quick, and the bus for the outbound folks was warming
up. The cabin cleaners did their thing and the next wave of travelers arrived at the bottom of the
stairs. We called up for deicing. The FO did this in the usual Chinese because, of course, there is
no English on company or other non-ATC frequencies. The FO finished up his radio
conversation and began to calmly prepare for the next leg. I casually asked him if everything was
OK for the deicing and how soon we could expect the truck to come over. He said, Captain, we
are #50 in line. I almost fell out of my chair, #50!!!.
Now, to add insult to injury, not only was there just one truck to service the whole airport,
it had also run out of deicing fluid. So we waited. We waited and we waited. I knew it was not
going to go well, and when the shouting in the cabin began, my fears were confirmed. I had the
FO call for the police, but nothing happened. We waited some more, and the yelling got louder.
Soon, there was a barrage of loud bangs against the flight deck door: they were throwing shit at it!
I was too incredulous to be afraid of what might happen next.
Luckily the police showed up and things calmed down. They didnt do anything though;
they just stood at attention outside the cabin entryway. Eventually we timed out for duty, but it
sure was an eye-opening experience for me! Frakkin animals!

Here is a party member setting a great example for others to follow I wonder if he was ever punished?

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Now for Some Really Seriously Alarming Chinese Passenger Shit

The mysterious disappearance of flight 370 has spurred a lot wild theories and
speculation around the globe: were the pilots suicidal; was there a hijacking; was there a
catastrophic malfunction of some kind; etc. and so forth. As of the writing of this paragraph the
search planes are still hunting and people are still speculating. I myself cannot unravel the
mystery any more than the so-called experts, and so I have to admit I have no clue what
happened on board that plane; however, after discussing things with some friends another
interesting theory materialized: what if the passengers en-masse attempted to take over the plane?
Now, before you crucify me here, I know that this does not fit the facts that the
transponder and ACARS were switched off. OK, I get it; but still, lets take those 2 factors out of
the equation for a minute and do some wild speculating. First, Im going to present 3 articles that
dovetail off the one above regarding the behavior of Chinese passengers:
#1.

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Call me crazy, but I dont think the Australian passengers were the ones holding the crew hostage.

So there we were, horribly delayed in Tianjin. We decided to take the passengers off and
wait for China to figure their shit out before boarding up again. After the passengers
deplaned, I noticed the purser was rubbing her arm and wincing in pain. I asked her
what was wrong, and she told me (in very broken English) that one of the passengers had
grabbed her arm in anger and hurt her. Of course I was immediately seeing red; I was
also shocked being that I was very new in this land of heathens. I had no idea what to do
except have her ID the passenger when they came back and then deny him boarding. I
put this plan into effect when the delay was over and it caused a huge ruckus. Essentially,
this passenger was flying with 2 or 3 other companions who threatened to boycott the
airline if we denied the attacker boarding. Eventually the chief pilot made his way over
and forced us to take the passenger. I didnt know what to do but I was thinking of
walking off the airplane myself and leaving China for good.
Capt. Anon.

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#2.

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Page | 225

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#3.

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Yikes!

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Having read these articles through or simply scanned them, do the maths: perhaps flight
370 was not taken over by a mad rush from the passengers, but then again, is it really beyond the
scope of plausibility? Furthermore, do these articles lend any credence to the stories I have been
telling so far? I really hope you have framed up a good idea of what its like to fly for a Chinese
carrier.

Bird strikes in China

Whenever there is a bird strike reported to the tower, they close the runway and perform
a thorough check for debris or something. It often takes about 10-20 minutes. Why they do
this I have no clue; I guess the dead carcass can cause damage to the landing gear or some stupid
Chinese-shit-for-brains idea like that? Several of the foreign captains here have experienced bird
strikes; one guy ran into a flock in Dalian which ended his flying for the day. Another guy had
bird strikes on his windshields on 4 different occasions. He knows the sound of an impact pretty
well by now, and he says he no longer flinches. There were rumors about an aborted takeoff by a
local captain due to a chicken on the runway; the irony here is delicious. One of the EMB190s is
no longer RVSM capable due to some large dents on the captains side air data probe sensitive
area of the fuselage. I bet thats going to be cheap to fix! Just call the Dent Wizard LOL!
Ed. note: These incidents happened before it became the Captains fault per company policy for bird strikes RE: the
discussion on punishment earlier. Ive been trying to get feedback on someone who was actually punished
for this abhorrent infraction, but no such luck at this time. You can be sure its going to happen eventually.

You do see a lot of bird activity in China though. They try and mitigate it with air canons
(you hear em popping off all the time when youre at the company airport hotel), various
mannequins dressed in vibrant colors and annoying sound generators all at the
approach/departure ends of the runway. Chongchun has a huge net along the taxiway which is
quite effective (you can tell by the plethora of dead birds caught hanging there for all to see)
its not very humane. Another insane aspect of this is that, as with lightning, if you hit a bird its
officially the captains fault according to the CAAC. Strengthening preflight preparation is
supposed to prevent this occurrence somehow along with any other of a plethora of hazards to
flight somehow 12-24 hours before the flight oh God you fucking morons.

Thats the best idea Ive heard all day

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CA Blood and Feathers

So there I was, taking off from good ol runway 16R at Tianjin, China. We were heading
to Quindao on a later one around sunset when all of a sudden, POP! We hit a bird right on the
kisser. Well, the ice detector to be precise. OK, thats number 5! We continued to fly; there
was no ICE DET FAIL message and there wasnt a cloud in the sky. Fine.
When we landed, parked and got out to have a look as the passenger bus rolled away.
Yup. Blood and feathers all up in that beeotch.
OK, its MEL time. Oh wait, theres no maintenance to write it up is there?
No captain.
Better call dispatch.
After a few minutes I got my answer:
They want us to just fly it back anyhow.
Without writing it up? Can we get in trouble for doing something like that?
Only if the company tells the CAAC.
OK, considering all the trouble lately, thats a big nono then. I guess were staying in
Qingdao until they can get someone here to take care of business properly.
So we canceled the flight, closed up shop and went off to the hotel. Maintenance showed
up the next morning and we continued on all because a little sparrow hit the ice detector.

Remember that talk we had earlier about green lasers? Here are some automated, pole-mounted
hunter/killers flashing around the approach end at Tianjin.
Im not so sure they are there to chase away birds birds dont really fly at night.
Are they for bats then? Bats use sonar. Bug swarms maybe? BTW, anyone going blind?

But in China we
But in China nothing. Im a foreigner. This means Im here to make money, period. Im
not here to learn your culture, Im not here to care about what you think. The
methodologies for flying in a multi-crew environment are well established. Come up to
code or suffer the consequences, China. Hereby notified.
Capt. Anon.
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CA Airstairs
There I was, flying in China in the venerable EMB145. Not flying so much as we were
walking up to the plane to get it ready for boarding. As I sat down in the left seat on deck,
wondering what the heck I was doing halfway around the world in a blasted regional jet freezing
my ass off at zero-dark-hundred, the FO started in with something about the air-stair door.
Maintenance was flittering about. The aircraft logbook, being written up in Chinese, was
worthless.
Captain, the airplane has a problem.
OK, whats wrong?
The door is dangerous and we can depressurize.
Huh?
So I got up and went back to take a look.
Whats the problem with it, can you have the maintenance guy show me.
Yes, the stairs have a problem and we can depressurize.
I know, you told me that already. Can you ask the maintenance guy
We will depressurize.
OK, can you please ask the maintenance guy to show us?
OK, but we will have problems with pressurization and we cannot fly.
OK, youve already told me that, now please ask
A flurry of Chinese was exchanged between the FO and the line tech, undoubtedly
impressing upon the man the captains grave concerns that we would surely depressurize and that
the aircraft was unsafe. I broke in:
Can you please ask him to demonstrate the problem.
Captain, I flew this airplane yesterday and its unsafe.
OK, did you guys write it up because I dont remember seeing anything
No, but we told maintenance and its unsafe to fly.
Please ask the maintenance man
I already did.
Well ask again. I want to see the problem.
A second flurry of Chinese was exchanged between the two. I was getting pissed.
Will he please show me now what the problem is. NOW.
OK, OK captain. OK.
Finally the tech swung the door up (they have the sweet hydraulic assist on those
puppies). After locking it fully shut, he promptly re-opened it and let the whole assembly swing
back down. As it settled in position on the tarmac, the steps did not deploy; it was essentially a
very awkward looking slide.
Huh. Never seen that before.
Were going to depressurize
Will you shut up about that. Were not going to depressurize just because the steps
wont deploy. This is a safety hazard though, and youre right in that I dont feel
comfortable taking this plane today on 6 legs with malfunctioning steps.
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Totally MEL-able, lets board up and go

I hadnt even looked at the MEL book yet to see if there was some sort of deferral, but
what was really going through my head was the general traveling public in China. Theyre just
not very polite by western standards, and where it comes to orderly behavior deplaning well I
could see 6 mini-disasters in store, one for each leg. All it took was 1 impatient and incompetent
jerk to push the person in front of him, and wed have broken bones of all kinds. This wasnt
even considering the case of an emergency evacuation if we had a fire or something.
Nope, we arent going. There is no danger of depressurizing (you idiot), but there is
every danger of grandma being thrown off the damn plane down the slide and being
severely injured. Im not flying this jet today unless they fix this hazard and demonstrate
to me that its fixed.
I whipped out my iPhone and snapped off a couple of pictures while the FO made
impassioned phone calls to someone. With a glimmer in his eyes he said, Captain, we are going
to the hotel. Fine, lets go. I was done. We took a huge delay
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What I learned later about the glimmer in the FOs eye was that he had intended to throw
me under the bus all the while. He went and told management that I was a trouble maker and that
the airplane was fine in his opinion. He told them I had said bad things about the company and
that all I wanted to do was have rest and get paid. Talk about being stabbed in the back. I still
have daggers Im pulling outta there!

But what about daggers in the back? I wonder

But yeah, if I were stabbed Id probably want to get drunk too.
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]

Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time!

Crew members who fail to fulfill their duties and responsibilities in accordance with the
provisions of the General Flight Rules of the Peoples Republic of China shall be given
administrative or disciplinary sanctions by the relevant departments; if the case is
serious, they shall be punished by license suspension for a period of one to six months or
flight suspension for a period of one to three months; if a crime is constituted, criminal
responsibilities shall be investigated according to law.
OUCH.

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Aviation Weather and Weather Services

Captain, whats a pirep?
Well, Bing, it has absolutely nothing to do with those Johnnie Depp movies for starters

Intro to WX and Shit

The weather in China can get pretty crazy. Youll fly a lot of instrument approaches,
often times down to minimums, due to pollution and dust. Ive heard winter can be harsh though
it was fairly mild during the time I was there. Summer brings titanic thunderstorms and fastmoving full frontal action. Typhoons are common in the South and either blast their way up the
coast past Taiwan or thrust up through the heart of the country from around Hong Kong.
Most Western pilots are thinking to themselves, OK, big deal Duke, so what? Well, I
already explained about the QARs and punishment system (and will go on and on about it); so,
if you decide to bore through what would otherwise be a completely harmless cell and the
airplane overloads in gs from turbulence, youre going to be fucked. What I may have
mentioned is the fact that if you get tagged by lightning, its your fault and youre going to get
equally fucked. That may have gone unnoticed or disbelieved by you.
We had at least 2 foreign pilots get tagged by lightning since the foreigner contingent was
started at Tianjin Airlines, both in the EMB145. Why either of them is still flying for the
company, I dont know. The first guy was apparently on vectors with Beijing which I think was
the saving grace for him and his crew. A couple of antennas got blown off and the airframe
ended up with your typical Thor-induced Swiss-cheese effect. Again, this guy would have been
fired under different circumstances, and apparently there was talk about it anyhow between the
company leaders behind the scenes.
The second guy was still in training with an instructor when they got hit. The company,
in typical knee-jerk fashion, removed the foreign captain from flight status for a month or two
while they investigated (nothing happened to the instructor). Luckily enough, he didnt lose his
job and was subsequently returned to duty, but he probably wont get to transition to the
EMB190 as punishment and were not sure he got paid during his little vacation.
Ive talked to a bunch of FOs about these issues and have come to learn how the Chinese
captains handle the situation: at the first hint of any kind of thunderstorm excitement, they turn
around and go back to their departure airport. I shit you not, my favorite turd. They have been
so brow-beaten, and ATC is so uncooperative when it comes to deviating around a cell, theyll
just turn around and go back home with their tail between their legs. So, you thought itd be no
big deal coming to fly in China? Ya thought I was exaggerating with the title of this book? Stick
that in your pipe and schmok-e-time!

Flight Preparation
Your schedule for the ensuing week is published every Saturday evening (if youre
lucky). Once youre assigned flight duties you are expected to login to the company website no
later than 12 hours before your scheduled flight time (and no earlier than 48 hours) in order to
perform what they call flight preparation. When your schedule pops up, click on prepare and
youll navigate through several pages of cryptic information presented in Chinese, eventually
landing on a series of pages dedicated to company notices. Unread notices are indicated in boldface type, and you must clear them all before proceeding. Some of these notices are in
Chinese/Chenglish while others have not been translated at all. Most of them download to
an .aspx file to your desktop. Open it with a text reader (or if youre computer savvy rename to
the proper .extension) and read to your hearts content.

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The last page of the preparation is a 10-question systems/regulations quiz. You have to
score an 8 to pass otherwise you get the what a pity message. Its probably best to score a 10
if you can, apparently they are keeping track of all the scores. No dude, its impossible to score a
10. A lot, no I mean many no, a significant number of the questions in the bank for each
aircraft type are either A. flat out wrong; B. impossible to understand; C. impossible to answer;
and, D. all of the above. Enjoy your flight quality guarantee exam

Weather Forecasting
Among the plethora of weaknesses in the Chinese aviation system is weather reporting
and forecasting. You will lose count of the times your forecast calls for 3000 and you get to
where youre going with 300 on the ATIS. This unreliability eventually sets in and you will start
seeing the wisdom in tankering around obnoxious amounts of fuel. Its really solving one
problem by creating a list of others; but this is China, right?
So there I was on my way to Urumuji. The forecast was calling for 3000 and when we
arrived it was 300. I didnt even descend from altitude; the controller had asked us to
orbit. I told him to send us back to our departure airport. After landing I demanded the
dispatcher give us double the fuel load we had taken before; I had enough fuel to run the
flight three times by that point. Fuck em.
Capt. Anon.
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De-icing
De-icing in China is a joke. Ive witnessed firsthand airplanes pushing back for takeoff in
moderate to heavy snow without proper deicing. Not 1. Not 2. A whole bunch. How did I know?
They only have type I fluid in all of China, period (maybe some heavier duty stuff like type II or
IV in Beijing). This one time I had refused to push because we didnt have the proper holdover
time given the conditions. Now, our holdover charts were practically unintelligible and in
Chinese not to mention the fact that the specific manufacturer was not listed. But by my rough
calculation at the time, after deicing itd take about 5 minutes with the tug pushing us out to start
engines and another 10-15 to taxi out (I had timed several aircraft from taxi to seeing them
taking off). The holdover time on our most generous chart had already been exceeded by my
reckoning without even accounting for the time elapsed from the beginning of the last
application of fluid to the time we were ready to push. Just forget about it.
Another foreign captain had refused to fly. His crew was sent to a hotel to wait out the
storm they were stuck in. He told me afterward the hotel room was filthy, cold (the heater was
inoperative) and just generally unpleasant. Nice! Thats what you get for trying to stick with
safety and follow the rules. (No wonder other Chinese captains are taking off in that shit...)
In our case, we waited for a break in the storm which luckily occurred a little while after
wed boarded up. Im just not the kind of guy to risk it where snow is concerned. So, maybe the
Chinese are a bit more adventurous? (What are your thoughts on all of this, SkyTrax?) Or maybe
they just dont believe in big bad scary Mr. Snow, Ice and Frost on the wing; they will believe
after a nice big bad scary accident claims the lives of a hundred passengers and the jobs of a
thousand employees when the government shuts down the offending airline. It wont happen
with me around to see it though, no thanks.
Here is a blast eMail sent out to the group a couple of years after the incident I described
above:

Now, do you really, honestly think the group of foreigners who have been constantly
hounding the Chinese on the issue of proper deicing are the ones who need to be reminded of
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Darwins policy for living a long, prosperous life while operating in winter conditions? No, this
reminder is for shit operator Chinese captains, translated and sent to the foreigners as a way to
maintain face.
So there we were on downwind in Xian, comin up on mid-field. It was winter and had
just finished snowing. I looked down and saw thousands of little dots all over the runway,
What is that? On closer look, it turned out to be an army of people who had come
out to sweep the runway clear of snow. It felt like the Red Sea parting when we landed
Capt. Anon.

Pollution
Like Ive said, many of the topics in this book will be visited more than once, and here
we go yet again on pollution. Do you see a pattern emerging yet? The pollution got so bad in
Urumqai on Fall that a number of flights got canceled. One foreign pilot saw his whole 5-day trip
dropped and he was just sent back to Tianjin after the delays started.
Heres another story though:
So, there I was flying into Qingdao. They have this
factory, or its a foundry or something on short final
anyhow, we were downwind to runway 35 and it was
fairly clear above 1500ft because this was where the
winds really started blowing. Below that, it was murky
and gross. And then I noticed the factory stacks
belching out this thick, opaque brown smoke. A 757 was
on final approach and was getting close to the plume on
his descent along the ILS.
It appeared to me that he was at about 500
when he entered the billows and disappeared for
several seconds. Then he reappeared on the other side.
I could not believe it. We were going to be flying into
that shit too and there was nothing we could do. OK, so
beyond the fact that we were going to be breathing that
shit (turning off the packs would simply open the ram
air ports), what about not seeing the runway at
minimums? A missed approach here was a significant
Here we go.
thing to keep in mind as we trundled our way down the
This was Christmas day, 2013
glideslope
Like I imagined with the 757, we saw the runway at the last minute and landed and
when I went to do the walk around I got a sore throat. It was nasty.

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Page | 239

Life on the EMB145 is great! Fantastic! Often I only fly 2 legs a day; Im home early
because the fleet has been deemed unsafe to fly at night Oh, and I never fly in the rain
because, well, thats unsafe too. Let the good times roll down a day-lit, dry runway!
Capt. Anon.
Ed. note: This Captain was looking to get the hell out of Tianjin. He (and a couple of other 145 guys who were
hanging in there) was offered transition to the EMB190 and smartly declined it. Hes now happily back
home in the US.
Page | 240

Turbulence
The Chinese are deathly afraid of turbulence. At the slightest hint of a bump, they grab on
for dear life, white-knuckled grip on the stick/yoke. This is the result of conditioned behavior,
instruction meted out by fuckwads who have no business instructing, let alone sit in a pilots seat.
You can imagine the exchange there:
We are having turbulence you nitwit! Get your hands on the controls immediately in case
the autopilot turns off! Do this now and follow it strictly! Do not make me tell you again,
hereby notified!
They are going to rip the empennage off one of their birds someday because of this, and the
warning signs are out there.
A company notice was released discussing recent problems about overstressing aircraft in
flight resulting in significant g-loading. The notice was specifically aimed at crews reacting in
desperation, trying to prevent the aircraft from over-speeding in a descent by removing the
autopilot and pitching up violently. How this can be the case when company policy mandates the
fastest speed you are allowed to fly enroute is 290-knots, I dont know. It was either a foreign
pilot whos said fuck that and decided to fly (closer to) barber pole causing the FO to freak out,
or it was some fuckwit FO who saw the airspeed trend vector shoot up 15-knots and went ape, or
it was a Chinese captain who totally screwed the pooch trying to operate a machine that is
ultimately a mystery in a puzzle in a dream to him on a fundamental level.
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Some of the foreign captains have tried to reason with the FOs who look like theyve
seen a ghost every time theres a bump, lurching into action with cat-like reflexes. If the aircraft
system clicks off the autopilot, its probably been released for a reason, i.e. exceedance of a load
tolerance; what are the chances of you overstressing the airplane if you grab onto the controls
and yank it back to wings-level in? This is common fucking sense that laymen grasp. Yet, most
of the time Im met with dumbfounded looks when I explain thisthey just do not understand.
Maybe some of them wag their heads and say AH! But they dont really get it. I know this
because the very next rough patch we run over, they spring right back into action. So yea, one of
these guys is going to rip off the elevators or something and kill a bunch of people, its just a
matter of time.

WX Radar
If youve flown the EMB145 you know its a great airframe, but the weather radar is a
little weak. If you point the antenna around a little and know how to interpret what its giving
you, the results can be satisfactory. Being that you will be operating in a system that relies
heavily on automation, this will be difficult to implement and even more difficult to coordinate
with the FOs. Essentially, the Chinese technique is to point the radar straight down and look for
any return no matter the color. Red represents extreme danger in this case, as does amber and
even green.
Ive flown with guys who were all over the radio asking for a deviation around a red area
on their radar. I asked the FO on one particular occasion to look out the window: it was clear as a
bell in cruise above a stratus layer. The returns were a mountain off in the distance. I wanted to
strangle the kid, but I didnt really say anything and we diverted around the mountain. After
running headlong into enough of these kinds of situations, apathy starts to set in and eventually
you just go with the flow.

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Lightening!
All pilots:
Recently ,our company has encountered many lightening strike incidents.In one incident which fouded 26 Lightning
Strike Point and one discharger was shoot-down. There is a great risk to the Company safety.,. To avoid lightning
strike happened again, hereby notified:
1. During preflight preparation, be aware of the weather on the route, at the destination and alternate. Dispatch the
relative equipment like radar, windshield wiper and fuel quantity together with dispatchers.
2. Flight crew shall carefully carry out inspection when receiving the aircraft and during transit. Check weather radar
and other relative equipment for normal operation.
3. If it is reported or known to have thunderstorm, try to avoid it as early as possible to prevent from flying into hidden
cumulus congestus. The aircraft is not allowed to fly in to cumulus congestus or cumulonimbus.
4. If the aircraft is caught in thunderstorm, flight crew should calmly and wittedly focus on instrument flight. Dont be
panic.
5. Bear in mind the rules on going round thunderstorm. It is strictly prohibited to go round under minima.
6. Precautions of going round thunderstorm
(1) if it is necessary to go round thunderstorm during flight, captain must determine the strength, range, moving
direction of the thunderstorm, as well as the ceiling and cloud top height, so as to make an early decision of going
round or diversion.
(2) Strength of the electromagnetic field can be judged by the noise in headsets. Direction of thunderstorm can be
judged by ADF needle. Try to go round the thunderstorm instead of directly flying over it from the above.
(3) Try to go round the thunderstorm in the upwind direction. Report to ATC and get clearance as soon as possible.
(4) When flying under the cone of thunderstorm, it is likely to encounter hail strike.
(5) When going round in landing area or in area with undesirable clearance condition, pay attention to the aircraft
position and safety altitude. Comprehensively make use of ground and airborne navigation equipment. It is strictly
prohibited to fly below safety altitude.
(6) When going round thunderstorm, the margins of turning and exiting must be taken into consideration. Strictly
follow the rules on going round thunderstorm:
i. It is only allowed to go round thunderstorm when weather radar works normally, the aircraft is above safety altitude,
and course deviation is within the effective radius of navaids. The separation between aircraft and thunderstorm shall
be no less than:

5 nm for altitude 10000 feet

7.5 nm for altitude 20000 feet
10 nm for altitude 30000 feet

ii. When the aircraft is flying through thunderclouds, the distance between two thunderclouds shall be no less than
twice of the above-mentioned distance;
Note: increase the distance as necessary according to the developing trend and moving speed of the thunderstorm.
iii. It is not allowed to go round the thunderstorm from the bottom of top of the thundercloud;
iv. During takeoff and landing, the distance between estimated takeoff/landing/go-around track and the main part of
thunderstorm shall be no less than 3 nm.
Hereby notified!
Flight Quality Center
September 24, 2013

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More Lightening!
To all E190 pilots:
At 8:40am, Aug.11th, 2013, two airport staff encountered lightning strike during field operation on 626
business aircraft parking bay of capital airport. One of the staff died at 9:50am, and the other one injured.
On Jul. 28th, 2010, several lightning strike incidents happened at Shenzhen Airport. One porter stroke to
dizzy under HNA airlines aircraft B-6116 and sent to hospital for emergency treatment. According to the report,
another one maintenance personnel and one ground service personnel also stroke to dizzy on that day.
Lightning is a kind of large-scale electrostatic discharge phenomena with enormous destructive power. Its
destructive effect is comprehensively, which include electrical property, thermal property, and mechanical property
destruction. It can injure or kill people and livestock in a moment; destroy the insulation of generator and
transformer, cause short circuit and lead to fire or explosion. It can transform electricity into heat in a short time,
which will fire the flammable material or melting the metal.
In order to enhance the safety awareness of staff and to avoid such incidents happen again, hereby notified:
1. In thunderstorm weather, the telephone, interphone and mobilephone should not be used when aircraft is
on ground. If there are passengers on board, flight crew should coordinate with cabin crew to broadcast the
passenger that not to use the mobilephones. Use interphone to communicate with maintenance personnel is
prohibited. During thunderstorm, try to avoid using radio to communicate with ATC.
2. According to the safety instruction of refuel/defuel, refuel/defuel operation is prohibited in
thunderstorm. If refuel/defuel operation is ongoing, the operation should be stopped immediately, close the
cover of tank, and shut down fuel panel. Continue the refuel/defuel operation when the thunderstorm obviously
getting weak or disappear. During thunderstorm, all the flight crew are forbidden to stay on the parking bay or
other open field, walk around should be stopped and go back to the aircraft.
3. During thunderstorm, do not hide under fuselage or the wing of aircraft, and stay away from tall and
metal object.
If you are not on duty, the following aspect should be noticed as well:
1. During thunderstorm, youd better stay in room and close the doors and windows. Stay away from lights,
power supplies, pillars and walls, to prevent faradism.
2. If you are driving a car, stay inside the car. The cover of the car is made of metal, which have shielding
effect, so it is an ideal place to avoid lightning strike.
3. In thunderstorm, use umbrella in open field, or ride bicycle and running in the rain are not appropriate.
Because when the step is bigger, the voltage will be higher as well, so people will easier to get hurt.
4. If you have a feeling that ants is climbing on your head, neck, or hand, and the hair is standing up when
there are thunder and lightning, it means the lightning strike is going to happen. At that moment, try to lower the
center of gravity, reduce the proportion of the contact area, and take off the metal decorations.
5. You should be on alert, if you see high-tension cable breakage outdoors. Because step voltage exists at
the break point of high-tension cable, the people near the cable should not run, but to jump with two feet together
away from the site.
In a word, we should pay attention to the lightning protection in thunderstorm, try to avoid casualties
caused by lightning strike.
Hereby notified!
Effective date: Aug. 16th, 2013 Expiration date: 6 months later

Flt. Dep. of TJA

2013 8 16

Issued on Aug. 16th, 2013

Written by: Wang Jianqiao Reviewed by: Qi Baoyi

(TT:0 copy)

This is clearly information useful ONLY to the EMB190 fleet but HOW AND WHY should you implement
any of this is beyond me. I guess the message here is Be Superman at ALL times. Oh, and JUMP with both
feet simultaneously away from the area whenever you see a power line down. God damn

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CA Gimme a Break Non-Event

So, there I was, flying into Tianjin of an afternoon when all of a sudden there was a dust
storm that had been hanging around for about 2 days. It was super turbulent below 3000ft, so I
briefed the kids that we might encounter wind-shear and that, if we did, wed simply go around
per company policy (and personal policy, mind you), do a traffic pattern and try again.
As expected, we began to get rocked like mofos as we descended into the toxic and sickly
yellow-brown murk. Visibility was still pretty good though as we rolled onto a left base leg for
runway 34L. The ground was clearly in sight and we had at least a couple of miles of flight
visibility. I announced my intentions to the FOs and kicked off the autopilot and autothrusts
with a bunch of semi-annoyed double-clicks so I could hand fly her a little bit. The LOC
captured no problem and the glideslope started marching down. Id asked for VREF + 20 so I
could mitigate a hard QAR for REF-5 and APP+15; today would be one of those days where you
bracket your approach speed.
It was all going fairly nicely, though the speed was indeed jumping around +/- 10knots or
so. Then at about 900feet, BAM: Caution Windshear. Dammit GIPWIZ, I mumbled, OK,
lets go around, windshear. I pressed TOGA, took note of the speed which was yup on a good
15 knot bump above VAP, rotated the nose up through the horizon to the FD escape bars and
advanced the thrust levers nice and smooth.
As I reached the TOGA TLA position, the windshear indications disappeared. We were
climbing like a raped ape and the speed was healthy. So I called out for flaps 2 (didnt want to
over-speed those fuckers), gear up and continued in that fashion as we went around. The tower
controllers had their panties in a bind, urgently asking us why we went around. We told them it
was windshear and to god-damned stand by a minute.
So, we did our due diligence in going around per company policy, got her into the pattern,
wheeled around for a second try approach and landed without further event. It was no big deal,
another day at the office. On the ground, the FO called up the flight department to ask if they
wanted a report. Nope? Great, Im outta here, going home.
Now, a few days later the foreign pilot coordinator called me up. Hey dude,
whats up. I was shocked to hear him embarrassedly tell me that the Chinese were fucking pissed
and that I was in trouble over that windshear event I had. WTF? He said the company was saying
the FO told me to go around but I had refused. I was seeing red, and expressed my position to the
contrary. As more details came out about this event, it was clear that there was a lot of
misinformation and that the bell could not be un-rung. A meeting was in store for me with some
dimwit in the safety department.
It all boiled down to me not advancing the thrust levers to MAX (beyond TOGA);
however, they also criticized the QAR data that showed I took 3 seconds to hit the TOGA
buttons and 6 seconds to advance the thrusts. I was super-hot under the collar over this shit.
These retarded Chinese dont understand the system logic to this day (the SOP still reflects their
error in knowledge). They think that in order to develop GA-RSV power in the EMB190 that
you have to firewall it, when in reality the manufacturer clearly states in several different places
in the AOM that all you need to do is press the TOGA buttons and let the thrust levers advance
to TOGA to get GA-RSV (or you can do it yourself if AT is disengaged).
Now, this is all good and dandy, but a couple of weeks later I was at the pub with some of
the guys and heard a story that made me want to find the nearest living Chinese thing and
fucking kill it. I confirmed the story with the foreign captain to whom it happened. Apparently,
in slightly different meteorological conditions (a couple of CBs in the vicinity of the field), he
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had also encountered a caution windshear. He was in training (a new-hire) and paired with an
instructor. When they hit the bump that set off GIPWIZ, the foreign captain started to initiate a
go around but found that the controls were jammed when the autopilot disconnected.
He looked over at the instructor in the right seat and saw that the man was paralyzed with
fear and holding onto the yoke with a death-grip. Assuming the instructor was taking the controls
(there was no callout from him), the foreign pilot released the aircraft saying, You have the
controls! Because of the instructors asymmetric hold, the airplane promptly winged-over into a
45-degree bank, setting off GIPWIZ mode 3 in the process: Bank Angle, Bank Angle!
Apparently, it was complete mayhem on deck, another Chinese fire drill and another
deadeye dick example of these commie dip-shits who dont know what theyre doing. They are
completely out of their element, the Chinese, and their leaders are in positions to pass on their
horrific deficiencies to a whole new generation of blindly obedient students who are ready,
willing and able to follow them over the chasm into oblivion. It will never get fixed, period.
Greater men than you or I have tried.
To add insult to injury, a fully Chinese crew encountered windshear caution about a week
after this last cluster fuck below 200feet and decided to land. Great! No. They were severely
punished and sent to hell. The HNIC was in form, beat red in the face screaming on his phone
about it. Witnesses chuckle, recounting his prolonged reaction to the news of this severe lapse in
judgment by a local crew. How mandatorily retarded the system over there is.
To add one last insult to the whole kit and caboodle, about a month after the dust settled
on all of this non-event windshit, the coupe-de-gracie happened to a foreign Captain: they had a
windshear caution below 40feet. It had to be spurious: the wind was extraordinarily light
(possibly totally calm even) and it was clear-and-a-billion. Guess what they did? The Captain
dutifully went around.
Ya know, maybe its just me, but what with all of this going around at 40ft and whatnot,
arent they exposing themselves to a potential engine failure in the most adverse of conditions:
airborne, slow, extremely low, the good engine accelerating to the maximum thrust rating
available coupled with Chinese pilots who have demonstrated time and again they are shit
with the stick and rudder hmmm.
Ed. note: Could you imagine a 300-hour FO grabbing the thrust levers and forcing you to advance them or
something else insane during an emergency situation or better yet, disconnecting the autopilot and
wrestling with you to override the controls? I would NOT want this in China, and the fact of the matter is
that it happens. Read on, read on.

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Typhoooon!
So there I was flying in China, travelling from one extreme to another. We started our
day in frigid cold, fighting ice and snow; then we landed that afternoon in the advance of a
tropical storm. Wait tropical storm? No, it was a typhoon. In fact, it was the worst typhoon in
recorded history: Haiyan. (Come to find out it had killed thousands in the Philippines.) Trying to
figure why the company had decided to operate us as normal down to Sanya and then park the
plane on the ramp to let it sit out a typhoon, let alone the worst typhoon in history, is a fools
errand. You should have realized that by this point. While most sane and competent managers
would obviously be busying themselves evacuating equipment and personnel in the face of
disaster, here we were happily transporting people and a beautiful aircraft into the area. Ah,
China. Its only been 5000 years: will you ever learn?
It was a normally scheduled stop-over for the duty assignment, but that was the only
normal thing about it. As I waded thigh-deep through ghastly smelling, oily and opaque water
with my kit above my head and phone clenched between my teeth, a dead dog floated past. Nice.
I was wondering loud and clear what the hell I was doing with my life.
Once at the hotel, I found the lobby plunged in chaos: several workers were fruitlessly
engaged in mopping the flooded floors while others desperately tried to reinforce ravaged storm
shutters that close off what is normally an open-air entry hall. I checked in, closed my room door,
and spent a good 30 minutes trying to shower off the oily line of sludge on each leg that revealed
the waterline from my wading expedition. Dead dog Jeezus. Later, one of my good friends
pointed out a couple of things over the phone that I hadnt even thought about:
1. Im lucky I didnt step into an open storm drain or manhole while wading through
that rancid muck,
2. Im lucky I didnt have any open wounds below the waterline; were I any more
concerned, Id probably have gone for a tetanus shot. Where? Fuck knows.

That big donut thingy at bottom center of this Chinese weather observation chart is a typhoon.
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Granted, the Bush administration had a huge failure responding to Katrina; but what you
have to ask yourself is, under the right conditions, if you get caught in a similar storm in China
do you have the survival skills to get yourself out of a tight spot? But, Duke, that was the storm
of a century. Surely Surely nothing. These are the kinds of questions you need to develop
answers to as a contract pilot:
If you are in a broken, 3rd world country that is experiencing a disaster, do you have
what it takes to get yourself and your family out safely? Dont expect the local
government to help; theyre useless; cant even save their own. Dont expect your
government to come to your aid either; youre on your own, kid.
There are so many dangers besides mega-storms to think about too. What if a major fire
broke out in the city because some idiot accidentally (on purpose) banged off a volley of
fireworks into the side of a building? You think a government that advocates calling the police in
the event of a fire has any clue how to contain a conflagration of that magnitude? What if there
was a huge earthquake? One of the captains related a story of how he was in the middle of
shaving when a quake hit in the vicinity of his high-rise apartment building down south. Try
evacuating a building in your skivvies, face full of shaving cream amidst throngs of panicking
Chinese folk. Then, when you reach the ground floor you find the emergency door padlocked
shut

China is NOT backwards! No, not at all! Look, they have emergency servi aw hell.
[Not photoshopped!]

More WX Radar Stuff

It was twilight in Tianjin. Two other airplanes had taken off before us and both requested
immediate left turns in Chinese. I had no idea there was an issue off the departure end until the
FO explained what was going on. So we entered the runway and I tilted the radar up. At 5 miles
and 20 miles there were 2 dinky cells; there just wasnt much returning. I decided wed take off
and fly runway heading to intercept our course. As we climbed out a couple of other cells
appeared, but nothing significant. All of a sudden the FO made a desperate call to tower to make
an immediate right turn. I looked outside and it was quite clear in front of us. I told the FO to
look for himself. There was nothing there. My best guess is the previous departures were
catching echoes off buildings or something. Wed all taken off within 6 minutes of each other
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Yeah, this sounds really safe: a zero level go around in heavy rain because they dont have the talent (or
permission) to land on a wet runway. Fucking Im THERE dude, sign me UP for some of this shit.

Bears mean business, man.

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Diverting
Ive mentioned the concept of diverting and how it applies to China. Lets cover it again
in more detail. Here are the options available to you as a foreign captain when the shit goes down:
1. Try to divert as per your flight plan
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ah, thats a larff OK, now that Im over it, should you try to divert
as per your flight plan you will most likely be DENIED. What the hell, Duke? you may be
saying. Yes, thats right, you will most likely have this communication sequence with ATC:
Control, we want to divert to our alternate of //Quingdao//
Standby Bohai 1234.
Five minutes later
Bohai 1234, denied.
2. Hold
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! WOW! You kiddin me??? The damned Chinese
controllers dont know how to issue or accept holding instructions. Yeah. No way. Maybe you
can orbit a little bit but you will never hold in China.
3. Go back to your departure airport.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAA! YEAH! BINGO! This is your most likely course of action go
BACK to your point of origin no matter where you are in the flight.

Oh wait you thought I was KIDDING again? This notice is from 9/2013
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The little phrase return or alternate is not accidentally word-ordered that way. This is the actual
prioritization given real operational practices. YOU WILL RETURN in China, often enough.

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Monitor, You Asshole. Monitor.

So there we were in Korea. It was another Capt/Capt day (Im being awfully generous
with that second Captain designation as you will realize shortly). The P2 was a new Capt.
gaining experience, but I was sitting left seat because the company would not allow him to fly
internationally as P1. We were taxiing out and Ramp told us to monitor Ground. The P2 Captain
selected the frequency and made a nice, long check-in. When he was done I told him that
monitor means just to switch the frequency and DO NOT TRANSMIT until spoken to. I
briefed him for several minutes about it and he was nodding his head yes the entire time. OK,
great. As we approached the #2 position adjacent to the threshold, Ground shipped us to Tower
with the same instruction to monitor. Guess what? Tower, Bohai 1234 holding short behind
traffic #2 bla blab la

So there I was, walking to the bank, minding my own business when all of a sudden I
noticed where the brash, concentration-camp style loudspeaker broadcasts were coming
from. I was walking by the track and exercise field of the area highschool and all the kids
were lined up in tight columns, standing at attention. The loudspeakers were preaching
something to them, probably state propaganda and I get it now!
Capt. Anon.

Another beautiful, polluted winter day in Tianjin Santa is bringing you lung cancer this year.
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In one regulatory region I know of (there may be others), the controlling aviation
authority has established guidelines for pilots to take quick power naps on deck. The airlines
operating under this agency simply apply for permission to add the procedure to their SOPs and
then cover the topic during training. Most often, the procedure involves a quick brief to the FO
and purser, and then its time for a quick eyelid inspection while the other pilot monitors This
agency with these procedures of which I speak is NOT the CAAC and NOT Tianjin Airlines.
You see, in China, its a little different. There, what you do is party all night at KTV,
come in to work dead on your feet, look alive for a while, and once you get on deck you konkout without telling anyone. There are endless stories of snoozing FOs/SOs from foreign Captains
at numerous companies in China. Its an epidemic over there.

SLEEP! Its THE thing to do on deck of a Chinese airliner!

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Hospitals and Medical Checks; Aero Physiology

Dont bend over

Intro: A Hand and the Love

The hospitals in China are fucking scary. Besides the fact that there is a heavy element of
ooga-booga to their practice of medicine, they are also a bunch of dirty pigs. So, from dried
lizards on a stick to eggs boiled in urine, you run the gamut of half-baked remedies and plain-ol
down- home crazy-ass shit. Have fun with all that.
Your first experience with the medical check in Tianjin will probably be at the Army
Hospital 254. This hospital this hospital is disgusting, period (the hospital in Beijing isnt
much better). If you werent sick before you arrived, theres a good chance theyll send you
home with something by which to remember your visit. The local aviation medical doctors are
based here on the 7th floor. As you walk through the main entrance you are greeted with an
ambiance of urine, shit and other stenches wafting about. Slogging across a minefield of loogies
oozing around the floor, you find the elevator which is a complete joke (as most are in China)
just take the stairs unless you have a year to kill and want to be in a confined space with a bunch
of sick people hacking up phlegm.
After you hike up 7 floors past some pretty sick looking Chinese people chilling out in
the slovenly stairwell, you arrive at your destination. Once you fill out some forms, its back
down to the 2nd floor for the urine/blood test. The Chinese have absolutely no concept that blood
can be hazardous, let alone excrement, happily combining the two enterprises at one
window/station. They hand you a tiny clear-plastic cup and direct you over to the yawning
cavern of bathrooms. Hold your breath as you enter because youre gonna gag and puke with the
smell, it is absolutely rank. And this is IN the hospital?! I cant believe there hasnt been some
kind of Juntas feces-virus that has attacked China considering these unsanitary conditions wait.
Bird flu. Swine flu. Never mind, they got that there already.

That, sir, is a bucket of urine samples at the hospital in the waiting area
Care to take one home?

As you hand your urine sample through the window, they grab your arm, plunk it down
on a disgustingly stained pillow (OK, so maybe its the iodine, but it sure looks like blood stains),
wrap a rubber tube around and insert a needle into one of your pipes. Be cautious while you
stand there because sometimes theyre kind enough to return the urine samples to their rightful
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owners. Why?! They were doing this at the visa medical center when I was there and an old man
threw his into a nearby trashcan, resulting in a spray of his bodily fluid going everywhere. Nice!

Clearly, the Chinese share my love of combining urine and blood

Roll up them sleeves boy, this nurse is going to start poking!

Im Hot Blooded, 100o; Im Hot Blooded, Check it and See!

Foreigner lyrics aside, the Chinese are obsessed with heart condition. They dont give a
fuck about radiation, smoking or heavy metals in the sea/river food; but, if you have any hint of a
heart condition, you are going to be fucked six ways until Sunday. Captain G supposedly had
what is termed short P/R wave when in fact the indications were most likely triggered by an
electrode that kept falling off during his treadmill session. This resulted in several years worth
of scans and close scrutiny by those retards.
Captain J also turned out to have a dangerous pulmonary condition prompting them to
insist he wear a 24-hour monitor before clearing him to fly back home as a passenger on a
commercial flight. I met Captain J at the hospital who, after relating this story between gales of
hearty laughter, told me his brother is a heart specialist and has monitored him ever since
medical school and never noticed anything out of the ordinary with his heart. He was just playing
along with the commies for fun.
Several of the foreign Captains I met over in China were avid sportsman. One in
particular had quite a bit of talent and had taken himself far as a professional contender in his life
prior to aviation. This being the case, and the fact that the Chinese doctors dont know how to
deal with Westerners in peak physical condition, we ended up with the recipe for some kind of
trouble during his medical checks. His low resting pulse on the ECG turned out to be the culprit
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in this case. Combining this with spikes on the stress test thereafter, due to his finely tuned
cardio-vascular system, he ended up with a bunch of retarded lab monkeys scratching their heads
in confusion. They are just totally incapable of making heads or tails of the results.
With this particular candidate, they decided to conduct further tests which took the form
of injecting him with loads and loads of iodine. He immediately encountered a severe cold spell.
His body then went into cold sweats and he honestly thought he had shit himself. He was sick for
2 weeks thereafter: every time he went to eat or drink he felt nauseous. After tying up a couple of
loose ends in China, he made a b-line to his home country and ordered a blood test from his
regular doctor. The test indicated he had acute iodine poisoning. The doctor said there was not
much to do except let his body work through it. He actually prescribed abundant quantities of
good beer and as much sleep as possible. Doc, thats two things I can do without any problem!
OK, nurse? Can you please direct this patient to the nearest bar with the number for a good
taxi driver
So, yeah. There have been several other foreign pilots with Chinese-diagnosed critical
heart conditions, but I think weve heard enough. Wed be here all freakin day

Blood and sparks WOW. My two favorite things together at last. And cringing faces. All good, more please.

Speaking of all freakin day, how about some radiation for ya? Twice a year theyre
going to dose you with tons of radiation while they look at your heart. Why? How much is really
going to change with your ticker in 6 months? Ive asked for lead aprons to protect my balls and
thyroid (you know, the sensitive bits) during these tests, but most of the time they are clueless
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about this request. One time a bunch of doctors/technicians even laughed at me behind the corner,
Crazy foreigners are all afraid of the scary radiation; Oooooh! Booooh! So scary! Haha! Stupid
Americans! I wonder how many of them are going to die early, horribly and painfully of cancer?
In the unfortunate event you ever have a serious condition develop, youre going to want
to go back home to seek medical help if you can. I actually had a chipped tooth at one point but
found a decent doctor to handle it at a foreigner hospital in TEDA (Tianjin Economic
Development Area). Anything more serious than that, get outta town to have it looked at. Boy,
am I glad I never got sick!

Getting Sick in China

I got sick several times in China. From heavy doses of food poisoning to out-and-out
raging fevers, its all here waiting for ya. One of the guys described an industrial-strength staff
infection where alarmingly bright neon-orange nasal-fluid was alarmingly draining out of his
nose at an alarming rate. Another guy had a fungus or something growing on his foot, and
everyone has had a run-in with tainted-food-induced gut-wrenching barf/diarrhea-fests. There
seems to be an adjustment period (it lasted about 6 months for me) where ones body reacts to
the shock and awe of how brutally unclean the conditions are in general in China. Its fucking
gross, and mind you Ive been to some dicey countries in my travels.
So, heres a shiny nickels worth of free advice: dont look behind the curtain at
restaurants otherwise youll never eat. Dont pay attention to the smells in bathrooms or while
walking down the sidewalks or you will never have an appetite. Dont pay attention to people
raking their throats and spitting it wherever they happen to be standing at the moment. In fact, it
probably seems like itd be a good policy for you to simply barricade yourself indoors except for
the fact that sewer smells waft up through the pipes into your apartment and creepy crawlies too
(they dont design traps into their plumbing). So, theres no escaping it.

I VAHN TO TEST YOUR BLOOD! MUAHAHA!

Besides heart condition, the Chinese are also obsessed with blood. In fact, they are going
to test the shit out of your blood. There must be 30-40 things they are looking for (one captain
described the results he saw printed out once). You are going to donate a nice big sample every
6-months when you do your medical check. Its a lot of fun too: you put your arm on a table
splattered with what one hopes is iodine and have some student nurse poke around looking for a
pipe to tap.
In this game of life, several foreigners have been caught in what can best be described as
the blood trap. From diabetes to hyperglycemia, pregnancy tests on men to elevated levels of
steroids, the hang-ups run the gamut at the CAAC hospital in Beijing. Im sorry, did I just type
hospital? I meant circus. The only thing missing is the mini full of clowns they probably have
that too when everyone shows up to work in the morning.
One Captain was misdiagnosed as having a condition of hypoglycemia, or low blood
sugar. While elevated levels of glucose in the blood could be a sign of diabetes, intermittent
spikes are not out of the ordinary. Low blood sugar on the other hand is most often a
complication when diabetics take too much insulin. Wikipedia has this to say of the condition:
The most common forms of hypoglycemia occur as a complication of treatment of
diabetes mellitus with insulin or oral medications. Hypoglycemia is less common in nondiabetic persons, but can occur at any age. Among the causes are excessive insulin
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produced in the body (hyperinsulinemia), inborn error of metabolism, medications and

poisons, alcohol, hormone deficiencies, prolonged starvation, alterations of metabolism
associated with infection, and organ failure.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypoglycemia
Now, our protagonist had been in China for a couple of years with the accompanying
blood records that comes with such a prolonged ordeal. Apparently what had happened this time
is that during the day before, his flight had encountered a number of delays and he didnt have a
proper lunch or dinner on the plane (when is that disgusting slop proper anyhow?). Per the
doctors instructions he did not have dinner when arrived home late or breakfast the next
morning could this be thought of as starvation? Of course the condition had never materialized
in previous medical checks but now the bell could not be un-rung and it was time for China to go
full-tard YET AGAIN.
A couple of days later the foreigner was sent back to the hospital for a 3-hour OGTT
(Oral Glucose Tolerance Test). The beginning of the test had our poor patient ingest a glass of
sugar water after which blood samples were taken over and over and over, 2 to 3 times per hour
(and were not talking pin-pricks here, were talking a collection of nice little tubes of steaming
hot, red-red groovy). After the test, his arm looked like that of a heroin addict. To add insult to
injury, webmd.com has this to say of the test:
Though not routinely used anymore it is still commonly used for diagnosing gestational
diabetes.
http://www.webmd.com/diabetes/guide/oral-glucose-tolerance-test
So, I hope he had a good pregnancy. Of course he passed the exam eventually, but it was
one more example of how stupid the Chinese are and how much patience you need to survive
over there. And, this is NOT an isolated case either (there have been several others with various
blood problems). YOU have a very high chance of being subjected to this nonsense even if you
work out regularly.
Ed. note: It has come to our attention that Asians are a high-risk ethnic group for gestational diabetes. Still, our
protagonist has never been a woman before or Asian for that matter.

Misdiagnosis
Give a bunch of superstitious monkeys who cannot
think for themselves an MD, put them in positions of power
and authority, issue them white lab coats and stethoscopes,
and you end up with a bunch of monkeys who dont know
what the shit theyre doing but have the arrogance to think
they can figure something out as complex as the human body.
My body happens to be particularly complex and well
endowed, and this always seemed to send a wave of confusion
through their ranks.
Anyhow. Weve seen a lot of misdiagnosed conditions
from the problems with blood and hearts described above to
the latest installment of aeromedical-doctor-diagnosed lung
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cancer. Got that? LUNG CANCER. How would you like to go in for a 6-month check and have
the doctor tell you your lungs are going to rot out? The irony is juicy and ripe. Hell, I would not
be surprised if I had lung cancer after breathing all the shit in their air; who knows how much
exposure to industrial waste it takes for the malady to manifest.
One has to wonder about this wave of misdiagnoses: if they were serious and keeping
track of these theyd realize there was an epidemic on their hands! Then again, I wonder if there
IS an epidemic among the Chinese in China? They definitely have red fever, and bad at that.
Ed. note: The foreign captain who was diagnosed with lung cancer made a b-line back to his home city and doctor.
The results of this test were negative of course. Its just one more example of how messed up things are in
China.

CA Just Make It Happen

So, there I was flying in China when all of a sudden it was time to do my 6-month
medical check. A few days after the exam, I got a nasty-gram from the company telling me I had
failed due to fatty liver, a fairly popular ailment in China. So I had to do a retest: yet another day
of standing in lines and getting poked and prodded by a bunch of numpties.
I fasted like heck in preparation for the second check since I didnt want to fail again.
When the time came, my efforts had paid off and my liver was right back in the black; however,
my kidneys were now out of trim because I had been eating and drinking as conservatively as I
could. So I failed again on that basis which meant another check. The third time going in I
failed because of the blood work.
Yeah: 3 medical checks with the Chines poking and prodding me, resulting in 3 failures.
The fourth time in I decided enough was enough and I took matters into my own hands. I
brought along 2000RMB and handed it to my intrepid driver. He knew enough English and was
Chinese enough to understand my request: find a doctor who is willing to sign me off to the tune
of the stack of money I had donated to the cause.

Remember me, round-eyes?

Ed. note: The doctor was singing Pretty in Pink. Damn Mao is ugly and cheap: this bribe cost $250!
Ed. note: There was yet another incident with another foreign captain who had to bribe the doctor to pass his blood
check. The rate of diabetes among foreign pilots in China is stupefying.

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Forget flying, go open a restaurant over there that sounds like an even better idea.

Remember the **food** you ate last night? It wasnt fish by any chance was it? What did
I tell you assholes about eating the fish? Shit, what did I tell you about eating anything in China?
The inspectors could not pinpoint the cause. What, are they a bunch of fucking IDIOTS?
Wait never mind. So, try going to the hospital and passing your medical check after you ingest
this shit your blood is going to blow up the analyzer-machine: PASS!!!! NEXT!
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Breathalyzer
Every time you come to work to fly you will have to blow into a breathalyzer. If you
dont blow, youll be summarily terminated on the spot. This is yet another example of the
punitive Chinese culture that will clash with you, a Western pilot. This practice does not occur in
the USA, it does not occur in the UK, it does not occur in Canada (and to the best of my
knowledge not in Europe). But, it is a feature of China who likes to stick its big nose into areas
that do not need a nose stuck into (go stick your nose in the damned bathrooms instead and
smarten up you slobs). Unless, that is, we put any stock into the old adage that where theres
smoke theres fire. I imagine the Chinese have had a huge problem with domestic pilots flying
drunk in the not so distant past and so the authorities have taken these extreme measures to
address it (as they ever excel at taking extreme measures). So, every morning you come to fly,
you will be presented with a digital analyzer that you get to blow into. Fuckin aye.
But wait, it gets better. They used to have a dedicated company doctor milling around
taking everyones breath (shoving a portable breathalyzer up in your grill); now, they have
installed an ATM-like machine next to the sign-in machine which reads your magnetic badge,
takes your photo and then takes a reading of your breath for alcohol content. Here is the SMS
message that was sent out to all pilots informing everybody of the new procedure:
To all pilots, alcohol test records are being checked by HNA. All crew must perform
alcohol test before flight. Anyone who does not perform the alcohol test suffer the
consequences. TJ Flight Quality.
So, dont use any mouthwash in the morning and get the ol pipes ready to blow like the
crosswinds they are so dreadfully afraid of there!
Speaking of mouthwash, one of the guys actually did show up at dispatch in the morning
and blew too soon after using mouthwash and set the machine off. He said it was like getting
caught trying to sneak gold out of the national reserve: alarms were going off and the box did a
double flash exposure photograph. I wish to hell I had a copy of that photo, can you imagine the
look on his face? Apparently, he said it registered something like 3.0! The company immediately
had him blow in the portable device which showed a similar result; so it was off to do a blood
test! A blood test, can you imagine? What kind of bricks would you be shitting if youd had a
beer or two with dinner the night before? After a while it all got sorted out, but what an absolute
Chinese cluster fuck.
Ed. note: Around the end of April 2014 a Chinese EMB145 instructor was suspended for blowing a 4.0 into the
breathalyzer. WOW! Like Duke has been saying, Where theres smoke, theres fire! I hope youre
Chinese captain is sober when you go flying in China on that fancy vacation you have planned for your
family! Additionally, if your Chinese captain does turn out to be sober, I hope he was instructed by a
sober instructor when he learned how to fly

Drinking in China
Here are some notes on getting trashed without getting clobbered. Be careful of drinking
spirits; try to stick to beer if you can. The body processes beer much easier than hard liquor and
you need to remember that youre going to be blowing in a breathalyzer at dispatch the morning
after. STAY AWAY FROM BAIJO, its not natural and its going to fuck you up. Also, if you
are going to imbibe within the 24 hour period, get a personal breathalyzer. Even though there are
no sick days in the contract, call it in if you have to; its not worth it to risk blowing even .001!
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CA Sneekypoo
So there I was in the dispatch room, early morning. The CAAC inspector for the
EMB145 had just walked in. I was on the phone minding my own business but watching him out
of the corner of my eye. He walked up to an FO, mumbled something and handed the kid his
badge. The kid walked over to the breathalyzer, swiped the inspectors badge and blew into the
machine. I just kept to myself; Ive seen other pilots lending each other a similar hand.

CA Late for the Bus

So there I was, scheduled for the 6-month medical check. Memory (the little office twat
abomination) had sent out an email to come to the dispatch room at the new building at O-darkhundred to catch the bus to Beijing. Great. So I showed up a few minutes early and waited and
waited and waited. No bus. So I tried asking the office personnel what the deal was; nobody
spoke any English. OK. So I called Memory no answer. Of course, its O-dark-30. Finally I
got in touch with someone. No dice man, I was waiting in the wrong place and the bus left
without me. Great. So I went home and they rescheduled.
The night before the second go at this medical check we had a huge flight delay. I had
been on duty more than 20 hours or something stupid like that, and we rolled in at 4am. The bus
for the medical check was to leave in 2 hours. I checked in to the airport hotel, fell asleep and
that was the end of it. I woke up later to a splitting headache and fatigue hangover. I had a dim
recollection of telling the FO to call the dispatcher and tell them I would not be making it for my
medical check Still, I was in trouble.
They hauled me into the office for a chat. At the end of it I was fined 3 days of vacation
which, at the time was not such a big deal because it was the end of the year and vacation at the
time was not rolling over. A few months later the company decided to pay out unused vacation
days so this fine ended up costing a couple of thousand dollars. If you want to think of it in
those terms.

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Fatigue
China is not equipped to handle basic human needs factors of scheduling and operating
aircraft, specifically a crewmans endurance and need for rest. A pilots realistic useful work
period is often totally ignored, whether this be in the regulatory language for duty periods,
company policy or actual scheduling behavior. To make matters worse, at Tianjin there is no
policy for calling fatigued (or sick for that matter).
In the early days of the foreign pilot contingent often there were extremely long duty
days that would last well through the night for a flight that otherwise should have landed at 8pm
within a 12-hour duty time. Storms tend to cut off major routes (remember, there is no off-route
flying) and congestion tends to inflame chokepoints all over the PRC airspace system. This
situation has not improved much over the years, but at least the World Fair that made matters
unbearable in 2010 has long since passed.
For the company slobs who insist the problem is isolated and does not apply, take a look
at Appendix I: List of Captains who flew long hours.

Hey, check out these sweet blackout curtains yo!

Im gettin my sleep ON.

As a Barbie Jet jock applicant, River promised the EMB190 from day 1. I arrived on
property and found out I had to wait to accrue 700hrs. When I finally did do the course, I
got shafted, the CAAC became involved and I was barely allowed back to the EMB145.
What a goat rope. Quit shortly after anyhow
Capt. Anon.
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CA Go to the Company Hotel?

So I woke up at 05:30 and looked out the 18th floor window of my apartment: carnage.
The visibility was 0/0. I then became aware that an acrid stink was permeating my room: today
would be a pollution day. No matter; I showered, ironed a shirt, jumped into uniform and met my
driver. On the way in we almost had 3 accidents. He was smart enough to drive slow, hug the
shoulder and turn on his hazard lights. Good man, youre learning!
About 5 minutes after I signed in I started getting calls from the dispatcher:
[06:18]
Hello Captain, today the visibility is very poor. Please go to the company hotel for rest.
No thanks, its really dirty and those rooms are totally unsuitable. Im not going over there.
But Captain, its maybe a long delay, you need rest.
I just woke up, Im at work now, Im not going to the hotel.
But Captain
End of. Im not going to the hotel, its OK though. Im happy! Ill just wait here in dispatch.

[06:56]
Hello Captain, this is your dispatcher.
Hi buddy! How are you?
Oh Captain, I am fine, but I think you need to go to have rest at the hotel.
No thanks bud. Im very happy to wait here in the dispatch room. No problem!

[07:05] A crew scheduler met me in the dispatch room and urged me to go to the hotel for rest.
[07:18]
Hello Captain, this is your first officer.
Hey man, did you have a good breakfast.
Hm, yes Captain. The dispatcher called me and ask you to go to the hotel for rest.
Im not going over there, thank you. Its dirty, smelly and unsuitable. But thanks anyhow!
Oh, but Captain maybe we will have a 2 hours of delay?
Well, thats not a big deal is it? 2 hours delay is nothing. Our duty time today is maybe 8 hours?
Yes, but Captain
Im not going to the hotel. Period.

Not too long after this, maybe an hour or so, the dispatchers called me and canceled the
flight. Whatever

You remember those sweet blackout curtains? Maybe you just might want to close them again.
This photo is from the prison I mean hotel in Urumuji. Totally fire safe too if the building is burning down.
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CA Call the Hotel, Im Done

So there I was, flying around China in and out of Nanning. As with Tianjin and Xian,
you typically go out-out/back-back for a total of 4 legs each day. Great! On the way back, our
last sector, a thunderstorm had conveniently parked itself over the top of the airport in Nanning.
It was time to divert, and between Haiko and Gooyang I chose the latter. Upon landing we
discovered pretty much everyone else had been making the same choice and all of the hotels
were chock-full.
Being that our regular joint was jam-packed with passengers and crew from flights that
made it in before us, we got stuck with a shitty hotel a few miles away. Let me tell ya, shitty
hotels in China are NOT a good thing. The room they put me in was filthy, cold and the bed was
hard as a rock. Shit, I hate China. That night I probably got 2 hours of sleep.
The next morning we reported for duty and had a solid 8 hours of flying scheduled.
Fantastic. As we proceeded through our day it became clear to me that none of the crew was in
good shape: we were all tired as hell. On our third leg, everyone was nodding off including yours
truly. I looked over the fight times for the day and by my quick calculation I could see that the
last leg would put us in at over 8:30 of flying and 15 hours of duty. This was just not going to
work out. So I decided to call fatigued.
After we rolled into the gate and set the brakes, I told the FO to call dispatch. I could
make out a little of what he was saying over the phone (he kept referring to me in an elevated
tone of voice which indicated to me he was throwing me under the bus, i.e. This is all the
Captains fault, Im good to go its these damn foreigners I tell you!). He tried to pressure me
into flying, Captain, are you sure you cannot fly this last flight? Its only 1 more hour! I dont
have to explain to you, dear reader, my lengthy counter arguments of our total duty for the day
and the concept of legal to start, the effects of fatigue and lastly Captains authority. In China,
these are very weak arguments, the more so for a foreign Captain.
The next day my eMail inbox was full of all kinds of messages from the flight quality
center. Mostly they were coercions to make me feel guilty about calling fatigued, thinly veiled
by claims they were concerned about me and questions as to whether I had some kind of health
problems Can you believe this shit? There is absolutely no professionalism in China and
safety/human factors take a back seat to completion performance. The CAAC is a frigging joke.
Ed. note: It has come to our attention that there is absolutely no professionalism in China. Pass it on. Oh, and Duke
may be wrong about completion performance theres really none of that in China either.

One does not simply oh, fuck it.

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Donating Blood, a Good Cause

I worked a couple of other contract jobs in Southern Asia before I came to China. I met
some really interesting people there and learned some interesting concepts about what I would
loosely call karma in ones life. One of these ideas was that in order to fix the ills you commit
and curses that may be laid on your shoulders you have to sacrifice a little of your own blood.
Putting my head to work I realized that it might serve two good purposes and double my karma if
I donated the blood instead. Make sure you arent flying for a couple of days and bring your
passport. They have blood mobiles scattered around and you get a little logbook documenting
your donations. Youre allowed 1 donation every 6 months so unless youre a complete asshole
this should cover your cosmic aura with a substantial force-field of protection. One of my friends
laughed and said I was really changing them from the inside. I guess this is true
And then they bring out that little pillow they put your arm on with all the iodine stains
on it that look like blood stains and ya opt out of the whole affair to avoid contracting AIDS.

Homo-eroticism and medical checks in China; enjoy that when you encounter it.

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Psychological Health
I was chatting with another foreign captain here about this and that, and it came up in the
conversation how incredibly isolated one feels in a country like China; and this coming from an
experienced contract pilot who had seen much of Asia crawl down his moving map display like
so many Matrix symbols. And, I mention the Matrix deliberately here: you tend to lose touch
with reality in that country. Think of it as cabin fever in the midst of billions of people?
The Chinese can be tremendously cold and unfriendly. They have a horrendous case of
xenophobia amongst their hordes. In my mind it comes from their overbearing sense of
entitlement as the superior race on Earth. In any case, we have observed several Captains bring
families over to Tianjin, even from other Aisan contract gigs; they last a few months and then all
of a sudden their wives get the idea that they have to go home for a little holiday. For how long,
the husband asks. Oh, I dont know, 3 or 4 months maybe? Its that bad.
Then there have been a couple of foreign Captains who have been loners: this is a really
stupendously bad idea in China. You dont have to be the most sociable person on the planet, but
its a really really bad idea to think you can get by while trying to stay off the radar. It will drive
you mad, and the guys who tried it did become a bit erratic and odd.
So, I was sitting right seat for a new Captain right? Wed just taken off and around
1000ft ACT started giving instructions for us to do this and that. We had alt-capped. He
was busy doodling with the heading, all the while I was watching the speed trend
rocketing off the scale.
Uh, Captain?
What?
How about some flaps up?
Oh, ok yeah. One!
I guessed he meant Flaps one. The speed trend was still rocketing up and out of sight.
Uh Captain?
What?
Would you like to reduce the thrust a bit?

Yeah, and this was the first leg of day four and I was already fatigued. Great! Hope we
dont have some kind of problem
Capt. Anon.

Yup, heres your blood fountain. Dangerous!

You honestly didnt think wed get by without at least 1 redneck reference to Roy and Gil?
And Im not totally sure why the last 2 answers dont apply
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]
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Chinese Media Following the Rules Mentioned Earlier

Do with this as you like. I decided to put it all in here. The sad thing is that this is not
satire, it is not the Chinese media being ironic or sarcastic.

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Page | 270

Page | 271

You will be breathing this poison when you go to China. Keep that in mind. What are the
long-term health effects? Do you really want to risk it? Do you really want to risk ANYTHING
in a country that takes this kind of attitude toward a clear and present danger to the health of its
citizens and the health of the worlds environment at large? Does this paint any kind of picture
for you of the conditions you will be facing as far as administration of aviation is concerned or
the management of a company? I pray you are taking something away from this dont get
caught with your pants down if you still insist on going over there.
And if you do go, keep in mind that you will probably be quitting in 6-8 months if you last...

So, my checkride is coming up, which I am expecting them to use to fire me.
Capt. Anon.

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Airplane Performance, W&B and Cargo FIREX

Lets see how many LiOn batteries and live craps (crabs) we can fit in the cargo

Aircraft loading is accomplished by a highly dedicated and professional ground crew on

all three aircraft types at Tianjin Airlines: the 145, 190 and 320 NOT. But you will have a
loadmaster and will not do W/B calculations ever. On one side this is great because you never
have to worry about your load; its all taken care of for you. Load hits are taken long before you
ever get the paperwork and theres nothing like moving passengers around or offloading cargo.
In fact, I dont think I ever met a captain that had a problem with loading until they had
several experienced Western Airbus pilots join the brand new Airbus 320 fleet that is.
The Western A320 pilots found 2 serious errors the ground crew was making on a regular
basis. Because the airline does a significant amount of business hauling cargo (cell phone
batteries and fresh seafood being the most popular), they load the aircraft to the gills. The
problem is that the ground crew was putting all of the cargo in the forward hold which rendered
the airplanes out of balance on landing. After several hard warnings caused by excessive gloading on touchdown (further precipitated by out-of-trim conditions, and even running out of
nose-up trim in the landing flare) the airline finally addressed the issue. It took numerous
meetings initiated by the foreigners to bring the company to understand the issue adequately and
then comply.
But, they were still loading the planes to the gills, and still doing so incompetently.
Opening the cargo doors revealed floor-to-ceiling cargo which now caused a fire hazard by
blocking the extinguishers. For the uninitiated, the effectiveness of in-flight fire-fighting with
halon extinguishing agent is severely hampered with the cargo compartments stuffed the way the
ground handlers were loading them. The company eventually issued a notice for captains to
inspect the cargo hold before departure what a joke.
As for takeoff performance, several captains on the EMB190 complained that the
company was not encouraging de-rated takeoff, i.e. FLEX. As a matter of fact, being unfamiliar
with the practice, FOs considered it dangerous. This attitude was backed up by the instructors
and line checkers who also considered it a hazardous method, who cares what the manufacturer
recommends or the performance manuals account for. After fighting it for several months, the
foreign pilots gave up; a week or so later a company notice was issued directing everyones
attention to a spate of high engine vibrations on the EMB190 fleet. You can guess the remedy:
FLEX as often as possible and use full power climbs sparingly. Fuck a wildman.
Continuing along in this vein, there has been another couple of practices regarding
performance that would get an FAA inspector up your ass faster than Peking duck comes out.
The first is a concept that annoys the shit out of me personally has been confirmed by foreign
pilots on all 3 fleets: +1 for safety. This practice advocates adding a knot here and there just in
case. Setting your landing speeds? +1 for safety! How about this, fuck you and kiss my ass for
safety?

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The second practice is particular to the EMB190. When programming the MCDU with
the takeoff speeds, the computer calculates your initial pitch angle based on what figure you
input for V2. As we know, this V2 figure (along with V1 and VR) comes from your performance
handbook based on the airport/runway youre using, the outside temperature and takeoff weight.
Given those parameters, youre usually getting a figure of around 10.5 to 11 degrees. If the initial
pitch is above 11 degrees, instructors have been teaching students to change the V 2 speed to
reduce the initial pitch angle back to 11 or less.
Then theres V1. The SOPs have you calling V1 at V1-5. Why? Yup, you guessed it: for
safety. I guess its better to go flying with an engine on fire when you have the chance to abort
on the runway especially when you have 10,000 available and need less than half that
required to rotate. Retards.

I dont know about all that other crap, but heres 332 cellphone batteries in 53 packages as cargo
Check out the recent Australian 737 that almost went flying with a cargo hold of LiOn batteries on fire.

So, there I was out-base stationed at Xian for a friggin week. The hotel is awful. After a
few days, my foot swelled up and I had a horrible rash develop. Lets see should I go to
a Chinese doctor? NOT! I had to just power through it until I got back to Tianjin, and
then I hopped on a plane back stateside. By this time the swelling had subsided. My
doctor back home gave me some liniment with anti-fungal properties and that was that. I
keep it in my flight kit for when I go to out-stations for duty. Filthy pigsties.
Capt. Anon.
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Safety Notice
2011 NO. 24

Notice of the Lithium Batteries and Other Dangerous Good

Transportation
To all pilots:
On May 25th 2011 at Flight CA1549 (Beijing - Shanghai), the lithium battery
of passengers video camera got burn in luggage compartment during its climb.
Flight crew took actions rapidly, after using three extinguishers the fire was finally
extinguished. After preliminary invest, the reason is lithium battery spontaneous
combustion. Here are the notices for you to study:
1. Flight crew should carefully study regulations on the dangerous emergence
and dangerous goods carried by passengers or crew, in order to make a full
preparation of emergency prediction scheme according to dangerous goods type
and characteristic;
2. On ground, captain should carefully verify the loaded dangerous good and
its position based on Special Goods Notification to Captain, if finding any packs
damaged or against regulation, it is required to unload the packs to make a
preparation on ground. If any flight crew members change during flight, and the
dangerous good is still on transportation, the former captain should hand and
explain the Special Goods Notification to Captain to the next flight captain;
3. If flight crew found there is suspected illegal substance onboard, request
ground staff to provide non-dangerous articles certification or description in
shipping document, if related documents cannot be provided or the good cannot be
proved as non-dangerous articles, flight crew have the right to refuse transporting
dangerous good and report to companys AOC dispatcher;.
4. Flight crew should co-prepare with flight attendants before flight, in order
to execute dangerous good disposal procedures in time.

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Note:
1So far, Our Company does not transport neither operator goods such as
dangerous spare parts and so on, nor the commercial dangerous goods except the
turbine engine aviation fuel sample.
2Lithium batteries transportation
According to battery content, pack criterion and whether it passes the United
Nations standard for performance test or not, the lithium batteries are divided into
general goods transportation and dangerous goods transportation. During operation
if there is permitted certification that transporting as general goods issued by
CAAC in the shipping documents, with a telephone number, and there is lithium
batteries operation notes for each pack, the goods can be transport as general goods,
otherwise flight crew can refuse to transport.
Hereby notice!

Flight Quality Center

June 28, 2011
Subject: Lithium batteries
Transportation
Notice
Applicable aircraft: ALL
Estimated deadline: Long term
Flight Dept. Tianjin
Airlines Co., Ltd. Issued on June 30, 2011
Written by: Zhangliang Checked by: Lv Hongwei (TT: 0 copies)

Boy its a good thing they issued this notice so that its now safe to transport lithium
batteries. Good deal!

My BACK!!!!
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TCAS
I couldnt really decide where to put this special little nugget of 4-alarm China. I decided
to stick it somewhere that needed filling out a bit and I guess it fits here if you really stretch
which the Chinese do all the time; so, here we are filling out the downhill run with some hard
core WTF. For those of you crazy enough to still be considering contract work at Tianjin, count
your lucky stars if you can make it through your run in China without a run-in with one of these
babies:

Traffic, Traffic, Adjust Vertical Climb

The following are some examples taken from a December 2013 company blast report that was
supposed to magically make us all better pilots. The Chinese love magic and the love passive
training too; I NEVER ONCE in 4 years had a TCAS event during a sim ride of any kind China.
I had them in the USA, but never once in China. For something so important, youd figure theyd
be training the hell out of it

Excerpted from Case Analysis on TCAS-RA Warning Dec. 2013

Do you know what happened here? Probably. The pilot of the aircraft that triggered the
stick shaker pulled back so hard and so quickly on the yoke that he induced an incipient
accelerated stall. This is yet another perfect example of the kind of knee-jerk reaction Chinese
pilots have had pounded into them by their so-called instructors. Can you imagine what would
happen if YOU encountered a TCAS RA in the course of a duty day? You can bet the FO is
going to grab the controls from ya and rip the tail off the airplane. Think it wont happen?
Remember that AA flight that crashed in New York just after 911 when they snapped off their
tail in wake turbulence? Still think its a remote possibility? China is funneling all of its air
traffic into tight corridors; often I would be flying and look out the window only to see 3 or 4
other jets in fairly close proximity. TCAS is loaded with targets within a 12-mile ring at any
given moment. How about now? Were not in fairytale land here; this presents a real danger.

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Excerpted from Case Analysis on TCAS-RA Warning Dec. 2013

There is no telling whether this was a communication error due to poor English with
foreign Captains or if this was all taking place in Chinese with Chinese pilots. Regardless, think
of the punishment the crews of these aircraft were subjected to. Cant think of any? Try: removal
from active duty for the pilots of the Boeing and Airbus, severe monetary and other punishments
and probably demotion to FO for at least the captain of the A333. If there had been foreigners at
the controls in these airplanes, they would probably have been terminated and sent back to their
home countries. If it was company leaders they probably got away with it. Thats how they roll
in China: they roll heads, yours.

Excerpted from Case Analysis on TCAS-RA Warning Dec. 2013

These guys were in deep shit: fined, suspended and demoted. Not strictly executing SOP
means that they did not react quickly enough i.e. haul back on the yoke just to the edge of the
alpha margin without setting off the stick shaker. Im not sure why disconnecting the auto
throttle is improper in this case; if you need thrust, dont wait for the system to schedule it for
you; get it out of your way and do whats necessary. Again, its a cluster fuck that left the Tianjin
crew decimated.
Page | 279

Excerpted from Case Analysis on TCAS-RA Warning Dec. 2013

First, do you see a pattern here with this omnipresent call to strengthen CRM? Odd. I
also like the completely ambiguous call to Establish safety awareness as though we were
student pilots or something; no actual measures proposed on any of it of course. Lastly, what in
the hell is this avoid in-flight dangerous approximation due to flying at incorrect altitude? I
have an idea, how about the department that published this report spending some time writing
something that makes sense so we can at least understand what they are talking about. Google
translate strikes again! Still, this last little bit about incorrect altitudes assumes we actually have
some kind of control over human factors and can eliminate them from the theatre of operations if
we try really hard. Again, its a complete misunderstanding of the human element at play in our
regime and one for which you will pay dearly when IT inevitably happens to you.
Now take a look at the second paragraph: Make full use of onboard equipment
This is for the EMB145 drivers. Here we see revealed the mentality behind keeping the TCAS
map displayed on both MFDs at all times. I dont know about you, but when I used to fly the
EMB145 back home, having the TCAS on one MFD was enough; otherwise it cramps the
display of information on both screens and makes your job that much busier for no apparent
reason except to try and avoid the boogieman who will get you when he gets you no matter how
hard you try, perhaps sooner the harder and busier you try. Its all a joke, be careful and pray!
All it takes is all it takes, and then youre in the shit.
Capt. Anon.

Page | 280

Page | 281

CA The Turkeys Gotta Gobble!

So, there I was on holiday. It was Christmas day and I was up to my arms in turkey,
preparing for our family dinner. In the middle of laughter and merriment with my kids and wife,
I received a call on my cell from Memory. He told me I was being fined by the company because
one of the 7 or so copies of the release from some flight a week prior did not bear my signature. I
told him to fuck off, I signed 2 copies and thats all that is required by the CAAC. I then told him
that if they dared to fine me I would quit on the spot; furthermore, I informed him that I would
be extending my holiday period another day for this disturbance. In hind sight I should have
taken 2 or just quit on the spot anyhow. I didnt stay much longer after this anyhow.

A kinder, gentler China [20092013]

OK, so this one time we had started preboarding and a mom with a couple of kids had
just come down the jetway. The kids were super curious so I invited them up on deck. I let
one kid sit in the FOs seat since he was still monitoring the fueler making sure they
didnt rip off the company or something totally crazy. Well, he came back and the second
he saw the little kid in his seat he came unglued, yelling, screaming at the kid to get out
of his seat. I couldnt believe it. I calmed him down and he explained to me he was upset
because the kid had no right to sit in his seat I left it at that.
Capt. Anon.

You accumulate so much frustration that it will take years to get over it.
Capt. Anon.
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Its Time for Face-Psalm 121

If I had a nickel every time the FOs refused to wear their headsets, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs refused to stop talking below 10k, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs insisted playing/talking on their cell phones during taxi out,
Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs cleaned up the airplane after landing with the nose-wheel
still rolling down the centerline, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs called clear of the runway with the nose-wheel still on the
centerline, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs asked for/accepted an ATC clearance without asking me
first, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs slept on deck, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs zip-programmed the FMS while I was busy programming it
myself, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs finger-banged the FMS, preparing for the next sector while
we were taxiing in, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs went against my instructions or blatantly questioned what I
said, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs asked to smoke on deck, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs just totally ripped the paperwork out of my hands, Id be a
rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs were cocksure and aloof, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs told me to hurry up or go-go-go, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs told me I was their friend and then stab me in the back later,
Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs asked me how much money I make, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs couldnt speak a damned word of English, yet were ICAO 4
rated, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs thought they were correcting me, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs went ape shit when I turned off the auto-pilot, Id be a rich
man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs couldnt fly the airplane when I let them, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time I instructed the FOs to use some rudder to coordinate their turns, Id
be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time I had to correct the FOs on the QAR standards, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs called check speed for a +/- 2-knot deviation, Id be a rich
man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs called check LOC/GS for dot deviation, Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs turned up my temperature controller behind my back, Id be
a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time I did the walkaround after the FO who reported everything is ok and
discovered the Nav lights were off Id be a rich man;
If I had a nickel every time the FOs almost made me lose my cool, Id be a rich man;
O, dear lord, let us pray.
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EIGHT. Coming soon to a career near you.

The Chinese are some of the dearest people you will ever meet. They tend to be from the
younger crowd and innocent of the world; similarly, the poor who live the simple life tend
to be pleasant and warm hearted. Its certainly the ones who have been through the
wringer of the military who are the most poisoned and ambitious. The most ardent and
militant among them cannot be broken; all attempts to dehumanize themselves and
eliminate any shred of empathy have been highly successful.
Capt. Anon.

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Navigation Bits and Pieces

Totally not dicey at all

As Ive mentioned a million times, the airspace in China is owned by the military. You
are going to see the craziest things if you fly there because of this fact. Its super-messed-up:
everybody gets packed into the same congested route causing massive delays and over-the-top
practices like severe punishment for missing radio transmissions and having TCAS events. You
will see routes that take you farther away from your destination before doubling back on
themselves. Its so contrary to the Western pilots experience that you will have the feeling that
youre flying upside down.

Roll/Pitch Modes are the Work of the Devil

You are going to love watching the FOs program the FMS. After loading the route from
the database, they check every fix, every course heading, every distance and even lat/lon when
available. Then they find every vector or intercept entry and zap those. Why? Because if they
dont, firstly theyll get yelled at by the instructors and Chinese captains; secondly, theyll be
forced to estimate which they are totally incapable of doing.
In this fashion, I have witnessed the entire contingent of Chinese FOs set up fixes with
altitudes to fly the visual traffic pattern in NAV mode via the FMS. And youve been chiding me
all along to stop calling them retards? If you cant estimate a heading by looking out the window
and doing pilotage, if you cant dead-reckon to within +/-1 or 2 minutes, you have no business
being an airline pilot. If you need to program the FMS to calculate a ballpark fuel burn, descent
rate/angle or any of a host of other factors, you ought to hang up your wings because you are a
dosh pilot. Shit. THIS is the Chinese way.
Information overload? Are you kidding? The Chinese keep their TCAS at extended range
UP/DN and inhibit any de-clutter functions. You have more information than you know
what to do with at any point in time on a damned Chinese flight deck. Its insane! But,
you know why they do it that way? For TCAS, theyre deathly afraid of being in a traffic
conflict because theyll be thrown in jail for it. For inhibiting declutter, your guess is as
good as mine you can be confident theres some kind of punishment action in there if
they dont do what their leaders command.
Capt. Anon.

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Expedite THIS
One of the more awesome features of the Chinese airport and airspace system is the
tendency for controllers to hurry you at every possible opportunity after theyve had you on a
delay, ordered you to stop or commanded you to standby. Its really awesome because these
commands to hurry your shit up, on the ground, often come when youre about 200 from the
end of the runway youre taxiing to. While were talking about expediting on the ground, youll
also constantly get the command to expedite exiting the runway while youre still rolling out,
often tacked on with a string of unnecessarily elaborate taxi instructions. This one is particularly
awesome because youre FO is going to be all over the radios like Chinese on rice, multitasking
while he brings up the flaps etc. all much to your pissed-off-ness.
In the air, youre going to get expedite climb pretty much every leg and have to point the
nose straight up. The fucking funny thing about this is that itll transpire in the following way:
Level in cruise at 3000m/9800ft:
A
FO
A
FO
C
FO
C

Bohai 1234, climb 3600m, expedite climb.

Control, Bohai 1234 confirm climb 3600m?
Roger Bohai, climb 3600m, expedite.
Climb 3600m Bohai 1234, roger! Captain
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
But captain, you need to expedite.
Its a 2000-foot climb dude, get your head out of your ass. Expedite? Shut up.

The altitude alerter sounds, shortly after which the aircraft levels off

AND YOURE KEPT LEVEL FOR 5 MINUTES.

5 minutes later:
Bohai 1234, climb 4200m, expedite.
Control, confirm 4200m
DUDE. STOP CONFIRMING EVERY GODDAMN CLEARANCE.
But captain, were supposed to
ROGER BOHAI 1234, CLIMB 4200M.
Roger.
Roger Bohai 1234.
Dude, what did I just F-ING say?
But captain, you are supposed to expedite.
Youre kidding right?
Captain?
That was a joke, right? I mean, you were just kidding by telling me to expedite climb for
2000-feet when I just told you 5 minutes ago that expediting climb for 2000-feet is retarded.
So, that was totally a joke right? 2000fpm is adequate for a 2000-foot climb. That will make
us level in 60 seconds. There is NO WAY 10 seconds will make a rats-ass difference.
FO
A
FO
C
FO
C
A
FO
C
FO
C
FO
C

The altitude alerter sounds, shortly after which the aircraft levels off

AND YOURE KEPT LEVEL FOR 6 MINUTES.

6 minutes later:
A
F

Bohai 1234, climb 4800m, expedite climb.

Control, Bohai 1234 confirm climb 4800m

News reports later that night break the story of a wicked foreigner who attacked and killed
an innocent and highly trained Chinese pilot whose family is currently morning over his
untimely death
Page | 287

Enroute and You Want a Shortcut? HA!

Ive heard a few good Chinese jokes, and this tops the list. Actually, Ive heard no good
Chinese jokes, they dont really do humor over there in the same way that they dont really do
shortcuts. Never mind the fact youre operating the ultimate off-road vehicle. Ive mentioned
elsewhere a theory was kicking around that its because it must be easier to identify intruders in
their airspace with everyone bunched up into stoopid-groups. Nevertheless, in the time I was
there I did get a few direct to clearances, usually a 5-10o course change max if not something
already straight-line in front. Maybe they do have a sense of humor after all?
Hey Bob, check it out, the lawai wants a shortcut listen to this teeheehee Ahem
Uh, Bohai (teeheehee) Bohai whan-too-free-foh, Uh, direk ABC.
That fix is directly in front of them, teeheehee!
Oh you card!
Roger Ah Bohai 1234 confirm direct ABC?
Teeheehee!
Heres a classic example another captain told me about during one of many sit-downs I
organized to gather stories for this here book. Its a classic bit of Chinese ATC magic that will
blow you away. The crew was flying from Nanning to Chongching for a little cha-ching (sorry).
This leg is about 1:30 on the hobbs, so its not the longest flight in the system. After blastoff
from RWY5 they were directed left to BSE and to climb. About 30 or 40 miles before BSE, in a
flagrant, wanton (teeheehee) act of Chinese treason, the controller issued a right turn direct to
P108. Great! Somebody pinch me like a beeotch!
BSE

P108

Abeam about the halfway mark between BSE and P108 ATC made a mad scramble on the radios
when Mao got drift of what was happening in his heretofore auspicious airspace with none other
than a shortcut.

You are going to need all the fiber you can get from those fruit preserves, lawai: EEEK!
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The controller issued a desperate plea for GS1234 to make a left turn on a perpendicular heading
of 275o and rejoin the original route. At this point they were about 12NM from the original
course line.
BSE

005

P108

12NM

Being the consummate professionals they are, the crew dutifully decoupled the FMS,
selected the assigned left heading, re-sequenced the original route in the computer and re-armed
NAV. They re-intercepted at about 17miles from P108 and the controller shipped them to the
next sector with a sigh of relief. As soon as they checked in (accompanied with the idiotic
automatic IDENT on squawk), the controller issued 3 miles offset right of course. Are you
fucking kidding me?!? We just G.D. CAME from there!!!
No. This level of retardedness happens all the time in China and it just occurred to me
now that the radio waves of this exchange (and all the others) are traveling at light-speed toward
that alien planet out there thats hunting for us with their radio telescopes in the same way we
are hunting for them... I dont think Carl Sagan and Jodie Foster foresaw this when they
envisioned that epic film of zen-like transcendence and space exploration of theirs Just wait
until the little green men get a load of it though. China for sure is getting invaded first for being a
bunch of fucktards and therefore an easy target. Oh please dont let there be Chinese aliens on
that alien planet pah-leeeeease.

CA Comm Question
So there I was, flying around China when all of a sudden ATC told us to offset 3-miles
right of course. The FO was just about to respond with his cat-like radio-readiness reflexes when
I stopped him. Dude, why. Why do we have to offset 3 miles? I dont know Captain. Well
thats not good enough. Im tired of this. Ask him why. The look on his poor little face was
priceless. Oh Captain, I cannot ask. I turned to the SO, Do you know why we have to offset?
He shook his head no. OK, then you ask over the radio. I dont think Ive ever seen a man faint,
but this kid was close. Fuck, OK Ill ask. I grabbed the mic and clicked it.
Bohai 1234, roger, offset 3-miles right. Hey ATC, can I ask a quick question?
Uh go ahead.
Here it came that whistling pitch a bomb makes just before impact; if you listened
really hard you could almost hear Major Kong with his cowboy banshee scream
Yes, OK we are often assigned 3-miles right or left of course. Why is that exactly?
Now, you know the sound monkeys make at the zoo when a visitor starts agitating and
teasing them? It was kindof like that on the radios for the next minute or so. There was not a
single aircraft within radio contact distance that didnt key their mic and lay in:
Good question.
Who knows???
Id like to hear the answer to this
Etc.
Page | 289

There was also a bunch of transmissions in Chinese back and forth: China had just gone
ape shit. After things settled down, another deep-throated ATC voice transmitted and said,
Because. And that was the end of the great question-and-answer-session on frequency in the
middle of bum fuck get me the shit outta here China.

Flying the Traffic Pattern; a Case Study

Here is a perfect example of what youre up against, every leg of every day, flying in
China: silly crazy shit. So there we were, dropping in on Wuhan. Its a fairly busy airport with
one runway thats oriented Northeast/Southwest. The RNAV arrival brings you in on a 45 to
the downwind, a simple base to final at about 13 DME: no big deal, right? Shiiit.

10

044o
9

6
3
2
1

HH005 [DANDB]

10 steps to hell.

To get from downwind to base leg there were no less than 13 or so instructions from
ATC. The point here is that this is NOT exceptional. This is THE WAY you get vectored every
day at every airport: if you arent getting micromanaged then they just arent earning their
money. Again, in China a top tier job equates to an intense workload to justify the top tier
paycheck youre getting (never mind the safety hazard of unnecessary complications).
Page | 290

7.

1.

Bohai 6607, what is your airspeed?

Bohai 6607, were going 250 knots.
Roger, Bohai 6607, maintain 250 knots.
Roger, Bohai 6607 maintain 250 knots.
Dude, maybe wed better do 240 or something
OK sounds good captain

2.

Bohai 6607, maintain 210 knots.

Roger, Bohai 6607, maintain 210 knots.
See? I told you so.

3.

Bohai 6607, turn right heading 260.

Roger, Bohai 6607, heading 260.
(Similar sounding call-sign 6608 now on frequency, no mention of it from ATC.)

4.

Bohai 6607, turn left heading 130.

Roger, Bohai 6607 left heading 130.
Bohai 6607, maintain 190 knots.
Fuck. Dude
Roger, Bohai 6607 maintain 190 knots.

5.

Bohai 6607, direct DANDB.

OK, Im going to kill someone now, and that someone is an ATC controller.
Roger, Bohai 6607, direct DA.
(This put us on a course/heading of about 212o)

6.

Bohai 6607 fly heading 230.

Roger, Bohai 6607 fly heading 230.
Bohai 6607, descend and maintain 2100 meters.
Confirm 2100 meters Bohai 6607?
Confirmed, descend and maintain 2100 meters Bohai 6607.
Roger, Bohai 6607 descend and maintain 2100 meters.
Roger.
Dude, you dont have to confirm altitudes today OK?
OK captain.

Bohai 6607, fly heading 195.

Are you shitting me?
Roger Bohai 6607 fly heading 195.
8.

Bohai 6607, fly heading 200.

No, I guess he wasnt shitting me.
Roger, Bohai 6607 fly heading 200.
Bohai 6607, descend and maintain 1500 meters.
Conf Roger, Bohai 6607 descend and maintain 1500 meters.

9.

Bohai 6607, left turn heading 130.

Roger, Bohai 6607 left turn heading 130.
Bohai 6607, descend and maintain 700 meters.
Page | 291

Roger, Bohai 6607 descend and maintain 700 meters.

700 meters OK, thats 2300 feet.
Roger captain.
(Were on the base leg; to myself I note that I bet the ATC controller forgets about us)
10. And he does forget about us. He is so busy vectoring other traffic the way he has been vectoring
us, about 1 mile from the centerline on a 90o intercept we get this clearance:
Uh Bohai 6607 cleared for the ILS.
Fuuuuuuck. Just as were passing through the LOC at about dot deflection, cranking hard left
to re-capture, popping off any number of QARs, the controller ships us:
Bohai 6607, contact tower.

You fucking assholes! (OH, but China is just SO AWESOME according to the Chinese...)
Where are those Airforce B52s when you need em?

Facepalmus Interruptus: it will happen to you in China

Ed. note: Right around the end of the first quarter of 2014 at Tianjin 10 Chinese EMB190 captains and 5 EMB145
captains were downgraded back to FOs when the company sprang a bunch of surprise inspections. WOW,
enjoy your family holiday flying around China! Im calling my travel agent to cancel as I type this

Page | 292

Flying the ILS

I know Ive mentioned some of the finer points of instrument flying in China like the
controllers inability to properly vector you to the LOC. Expect all kinds of 90-degree intercepts
a mile from the centerline, a mile from the GS, high and hot as hell in actual conditions. Be
careful, and expect it on every approach. Plan ahead and refuse clearances accordingly.
What I havent mentioned is how the total lack of CRM concept on deck works (doesnt
work) with flying the ILS. No, Im not lovin it, and Im not havin it my way. It took a few
times querying the FO whether the approach lights or runway was in sight as we approached
minimums. Even after realizing what was going on and hammering the callouts during approach
briefings I still regularly wouldnt get callouts for the lights or runway. It leads me to suspect
that this is not considered a feature of the CRM concept in China; rather, it is the PFs (captains)
responsibility to see these things while handling the aircraft.
As a matter of fact, the callouts per SOP regarding visual contact with the runway and
approach lights are quite vague and have been over a number of revisions of the manual. Its an
institutionalized weakness in their system. To go further with it, there is actually no procedure
for calling out the approach lights, and the callout for visual contact is terribly mismanaged. Here
is an excerpt from the EMB190 SOPM:

You will NEVER get these callouts from a Chinese FO

If you think this is a problem, well, join the ranks of foreigners who are fed up with
Chinese shit airmanship.
After you call to arm approach mode, the FOs delay selecting it to try and avoid QAR
issues with bank and VS.
Capt Anon

Landing
One of the many results of the Chinese emphasis on obedience Ive identified as an
inappropriate prioritization of communication. Ive mentioned this several times and discussed it
in the context of actual stories. To add another application to the situations that have already
been covered consider the problems associated with dropping the airplane to land the
microphone. Most FOs Ive flown with jump on the microphone the second tower makes the
after landing radio call to contact ground. All of the foreign captains confirm this behavior. Now,
weve all seen it to some degree with newbies in the West; the difference here is that the
behavior has been reinforced by Chinese captains and instructors and engrained in flight deck
procedure.
I cant count the number of times the FO has declared we are clear of the runway to the
tower in low visibility conditions, our nose still on the centerline! I cant count the times tower
Page | 293

has cleared traffic for immediate takeoff (NO DELAY) shortly thereafter. Yikes! Furthermore, I
cant count the times the FO has emphasized the tower instruction to take a certain exit when Im
still rolling out at a high ground speed. (And, I swear to God if another FO had touched the flaps
before we were clear I would have chopped his damned head off, so its good I quit when I did to
save a life.) Its all totally distracting, its count-productive to our roles as pilots in control of the
situation and its downright dangerous, bottom line.
Ill take whatever exit I feel is reasonable given the circumstances; if I miss that exit,
there will be another to catch down the way. They have mandatory minimum 6-mile in-trail
spacing in this awful system, thats enough for someone to lay down on the tarmac and take a
nap between landings, STOP telling me to expedite. It takes the time it takes, and not a second
less.
I would bet good money that pressures like these were in force
when that EMB145 went off the runway in Xian. Do you think the
problem has been identified and is being dealt with using some kind of
educational countermeasures? No, its not. You see, every time there is
an incident/accident the CAAC comes in and chops off the heads of all
the senior officials including the chief pilots. So, immediately
following an event that could serve to educate, instead we have a wave
of new, inexperienced personnel taking the helm: China is never going
to develop.
The situation there is hopeless and it wears on you. Getting a
nice deposit in the bank account only goes so far, I know. I turned a
blind eye to it thinking its no big deal, I can handle this. The Chinese
drift that sets in is insidious, and when you do take the bull by the
horns and start adding up all the allowances youve made (maybe because you had a close call),
you start to realize you have hundreds of pages of notes-to-self floating around your head. I
wrote the bulk of this book in the course of a month Ill have you know
Ed. note: The memes came later. Our legal department is still sorting out all the copyright issues!

Here is the login page (again); in case you missed it first time around, the red box is where your name is
displayed on a link that leads to a document detailing your mistake and punishment for ALL to read,
download and share with the world Oh yeah, thats right itd never happen would it? WOULD IT???
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Some More Browbeating for Ya

Here are 3 company notices issued in 2014. I could add more, but you have to ask
yourself why at some point. Anyhow, can you detect any kind of pattern here or is it just me:
JULY 2013
Notice on recent safety operation
All Pilots
There are more thunderstorm, dangerous weather, flights, and abnormal events during busy season. In
order to avoid problems arising in the course of actual operation, special notice are listed as follows
.When flights have long time delay, mass disturbances may happened. It is forbidden that the crews have direct contact with
passengers, and body or language conflicts should be prevented. In case of conflict, the crew must immediately report the AOC.
. Strictly obey the procedures on flying around the thunderstorm and abide by SOP. Comply with the standard procedures of
takeoff and landing.
. When transport Lithium battery, crew should confirm that the shipping list is consistent with the goods. If inconsistent, crew shall
immediately report to AOC and according to the relevant provisions.
. Strictly obey information report and mandatory reporting institution. In the operation of such as in case of emergency, make sure
to call to company AOC(TEL: 022-58208001) in the first time, detail report by SMS after flights.

Hereby notified
Flight Quality Center
July 11, 2013

FEBRUARY 2014

Page | 295

APRIL 2014

MAY 2014

Page | 296

Go Around
If you have to make a go around in China, you are going to be under the microscope.
Despite company policy that a go around should be initiated for any reason at any time, you will
be scrutinized for your decision by the safety department and your actions/maneuvering of the
aircraft will be questioned, and questioned, and questioned some more. In essence, you had
better go around immediately you asshole if you dare to bet your paycheck and dignity on the
decision. Here is the excerpt from the latest EMB190 SOP regarding the One-Vote-Down
retardedness that pervades the final approach mentality of these morons:
2.41 One-Vote-Down System during Approach & Landing
During approach and landing, when due to weather conditions, unstable approaches, etc.
if any flight crewmember gives the go-around command, the whole crew must execute the
go around procedure. This go around command is equal to a Captains decision.
NOTE: The flight crew must follow the go-around decision. However, the person
making the go around call is responsible for that decision.
Yeah, Im not really sure what to make of this? It dont engender no safety culture that
Im familiar with, thats for sure. I mean, the message seems to read: go around at your own peril
(you motherfuckers). So, if someone calls, Go around you have to go around; but the
consequences will be severe for the person calling go around. With that in mind its more like IF
someone ever calls go around you are going to be in deep shit.
So, thats a 10-4 good buddy, hereby notified bitchez...

Example of a (smaller) extreme bend in Chinese airways that you WILL fly.

CA Go Around
So there I was in the EMB190 on the approach for 3-0 into Jenjoe. It was night and
CAVOK, cool winds a bit from the West. Theyd dropped us in early and cut us smack dab
across the departure corridor onto a left downwind with a few targets dancing around TCAS. We
configured to flaps 2, they extended just a tad, and rolled us onto left base. They cleared us for
the approach and shipped us to tower. We dropped the gear and laundry to flaps 5, ran the before
landing checklist, caught the loc/slope at about 2500ft and started down. Missed altitude was a
climb to 1200 meters (3900ft).
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At about 1500ft the tower, in broken English, transmitted, Bohai 1234, maintain runway
heading buz bla buz. The FO said, Some idiot just crossed the hold bars without a clearance.
I hit altitude hold immediately and the plane captured 1400ft. I brought the speed bug up to VAC
and commanded flaps 2. I noticed the altitude was set at 900ft and called the tower. Blocked. I
called again, Blocked. Third time is the charm, Confirm 900 meters Bohai 1234???
Confirmed So I set it in the preselect and hit FLCH. The thrust levers advanced and up we
trundled. Positive rate, gear up. The FO grabbed the handle. We cleaned up the rest of the flaps,
wheeled into a left 135-degree turn and headed back to the downwind.
No problem?
No, captain, no problem.
So we put everything back together, and landed without incident. My theory was that the
holding traffic was cleared to line up behind landing traffic, blundered across the hold-short lines
and oopsie! Ive been waiting for my first encounter with a runway incursion ever, and this was
it in China.
After we entered the ramp, the FO said we were going to have to make a report.
What? Why?
Oh captain, a go around is an unsafe event.
Suddenly in a poof of smoke a little devil appeared on my shoulder Oh shit.
After we pulled into the gate I explained to the FO that I didnt hit the TOGA buttons.
The shit was about to hit the fucking fan. I called a few people I knew to get some input. Nobody
really had anything to say except that they probably would have done the exact same thing. I was
borderline livid that I faced a potential fine over this.
We put the plane back together and pushed. As we taxied out the FO and SO were having
a lively conversation about something very Chinesey and the FO was poking away at his smart
phone.
Guys, I hate to break up your little fun-in, but did you know that unnecessary
conversation on deck is the leading cause of runway incursions? How about we put away the cell
phones too? Boy was that a mood killer. Then, as we were approaching the runway guess what
the tower cleared us to do? Line up and wait behind landing traffic. You just cant make this
shit up.
I hate China.

I was the most experienced and qualified pilot on the fleet by far and I lived in fear of the
system...
Capt. Anon.
Page | 298

ROUTE DEVIATION YOU FUCKER$!!!

(The $ is for the punishment thats comin down the pike)

*sigh*

4 bullet points? This is already so far out of control its making Duke want to kill the nearest Chinese thing he
can get his hands on. Unfortunately Ive already smashed all of my wifes tourist edition 1976 Mao Zedong
cultural revolution commemorative plates, incinerated the Chinese calligraphy on rice paper collection of
various Confucian pearls of wisdom and thrown my designed in California, made in China iPad out the
damn window. Actual humans are now in danger
Here we go. Page by nauseating page as presented in the company memo/PPT.
Page | 299

All the identifying information you need to know to figure out who it was

Ah, investigation is it? Urge to kill rising!

Page | 300

Good lord, hide the womenz, the sky is falling. 70o off course

And??? Im still looking for the smoking gun here as the crew apparently were as well.

Page | 301

Seems the sign-in procedure was not a contributing factor for todays indiscretion.

170 seconds If were counting an off course deviation in seconds, WTF? I mean, really?
OK, fine. At a cruise speed of what, 290 knots thats about 12 nm off course MINUS the offset they were
instructed to fly which is usually 5 to 10 nm. And this all happened at altitude? Friggin shoot me.

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Holy fuck.

Are you fucking kidding me? What an amazing analysis. So much to be learned here
The only thing to be learned is that if you dont end up in jail over an in-flight incident, you WILL when you
kill someone in the office for browbeating you for making a human mistake in a high-workload situation.
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???How does weight and balance have anything to do with this please???

What the fuck China.

Page | 304

HUH??? E145 is not robot plane? Not getting it

Firm the safety consciousness hell yeah. Enhance my ass. Strictly implement bullshit.
Does the tenor of this kind of language send signals to you like it does to me?
Ed. Note: Firm safety consciousness is advocated HERE, but NOT when the captain was emphatic about standing
by with unnecessary/inappropriate communication on page 88 in the section Oh Holy Fuck the Gear?
Seems to me they just make a bunch of things up to justify a particular punishment.
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Again with the continuous deviation. Wait, do they mean offset??? Holy shit.
Wait, wait, wait. Hang on just a Mao-damned minute here. Theyre giving these pilots a hard time because
the shit Universal FMS in the EMB145 cant hold offset courses after a turn in the airway! It freaks out and
heads back to the centerline and theyre faulting the pilots because Tianjin Airlines doesnt want to spend
the money and update the FMS firmware??? So they deliberately put the pilots at risk with faulty equipment
and then punish them when the inevitable happens. Hey, are you guys getting this? You reading 5-by-5 here?

High pay attention HMMM. GOOD IDEA. High pay attention to NOT

COME TO CHINA.

Duke says, Pull the trigger John. Were done with this.
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Story Time
Once upon a time in China

So, boys and girls, as we wind things down here is a collection of real stories recorded as
accurately as they could be, mostly taken from the captains who were involved. They all have a
little gem of information to glean but didnt seem to really fit in anywhere else.

CA Snoopty-doopty
Not the Onion. So there I was, brand new in country, taking a check-ride with that
whacko CAAC inspector Lou Wajia. He showed up in dispatch without a tie, top few buttons
undone and his pilot shirt was a pretty, off-white, almost tan color. We did the prep, jumped into
the plane to go do something really stoopid (i.e. fly a transport category jet full of passengers in
China), and taxied off the apron to the runway. Lou wasnt wearing his shoulder harnesses and
wasnt talking; the student in the bucket got to translate everything and talk on the radio.
As we rolled onto the runway the tower cleared us for takeoff and I advanced the thrusts.
We began rattling down the pavement and the kid started giving callouts: thrust checked,
airspeed alive, 80-knots When he called V1 and rotate, I took my hand off the thrust levers as
usual and started to pull back on the yoke. The EMB145 is a heavy gal so you normally have to
give her a little incentive to pitch up but the column wasnt moving. It wouldnt budge. I was
startled, called out Reject! and reached down to the thrust levers to abort the takeoff. They
wouldnt budge either. I looked over and this fucktard, this CAAC inspector, this Lou Wajia had
his right arm locked out holding the yoke in place and his left hand blocking the thrust levers
from moving back. WHAT?!? My impulse was to grab the flashlight and punch him in the face;
instead he released his grip and I yanked us up into the sky, my heart racing like never before.
We climbed up, retracted the gear and at 1000 feet with the AP on I relinquished my
control of the aircraft, You have the controls. No response. I knew he could understand at least
that much English, Id heard him before; he was just choosing not to speeka on this occasion.
Assclown. I looked over and realized he didnt have his headset on. WTF?!? Finally I got his
attention, he took the controls, and I tried to recover my wits.
When we pulled into the gate wherever it was we were going (probably Taiyuan) I turned
and was just about to drop a nuke on this flippin madmans head. I felt something pressing
against my left waist. Looking down, I saw it was an empty sick-sack with writing on it. I took it
from the student (it almost seemed as though he was passing a note in class) and written on it
was, PLEASE dont say anything, in broken, chicken-scratchy letters. As I sat there for a
minute, bewildered, the cockpit door opened, and the moment passed into history.
There is absolutely no way Id let any of my family members fly on this airline, ever.
Capt. Anon.
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CA Goat Rope TSNSanya

So there I was, flying the Bus in China, doin the good ol Tianjin to Sanya run. Its
blocked at 7:50 but always drags out at least a good 20 minutes longer. For this particular duty
day I was rostered a shit FO Id flown with before and a trainee SO I didnt recognize. The third
man on deck did not qualify as a pilot, but who the shit cares right? This is China and they do
what the fuck they want yadda yadda. As far as I was concerned though, this was not a 3-pilot
crew for various duty calculations. I spent some time on the horn trying to point it out to the
company but they insisted he was qualified. Sooo, whatever.
TSNWuhan
This was the first leg of our little shitstorm extravaganza. In WUH before pushing back
for the second sector we ended up with a damn NWS fault. Sooo the FO pipes in and says, We
can reset Captain. I say, No shit Sherlock, but lets get the engineers in here ya think? I
wonder whos been teaching this kid to do resets on his own fucking Chinese. Anyhow, we get
the engie to throw some CBs and the message disappears. We push, start and all that jazz. I start
taxiing with a fairly tight turn and we go straight. The damn reset didnt work. So we get towed
back.
Should we reset again captain? No. I go downstairs to get the real story from the
engie. He tells me some bullshit about whatever, so we push a second time and try it again; and
guess what? We go straight again when I try to turn. Now Im really starting to get ticked off,
right? We get towed back in a second time and the FO offers his goddamn sage advice again,
Captain, reset? FUCK. NO. You guys have been resetting this shit all on your own and hiding
a problem in the system. We need to find the real deal with this steering, and until we do were
not going to goddamn push again.
Sooo, we disembark the damn PAX. I think to myself, I really dont think I want to have
to land somewhere in this lousy QAR country without NWS. I write it up in the book (finally,
ace) and the engie reports back that the entire NWS component is faulty. They have to fly one
up from Sanya.
Sooo, we go to this shitbox airport hotel which is just not meeting my minimum
standards for a flophouse, but whatever, this is China right? It doesnt matter how fast they
deliver the new steering component; were going to really encounter delays now having missed
our flow time because international flights have damn priorities. Shit. 7PM rolls by. I tell the
scheduler, Do not call me until the aircraft is fixed, the baggage is loaded and the PAX are
ready.
At 2AM they ring me up all fire-drillzey to go do a quick engine and system run. I get to
the gate at 2:30. We have to push, start and taxi, but to do that we need approval from the tower.
This takes a friggin long time to arrange, pissing me off all the while.
At 4AM Im told the PAX are on their way from the hotel. The airport authority has to
open security screening etc.
At 6AM we finally board up and guess what, theres no food. The airport is still friggin
closed. Fuck. Sooo, we blast off. When we get to Sanya I plan to go have some sleep, but the
company calls. No, you have to go back to Wuhan. I tell them, No we need to stop for safety.
NO, NO, NO, they come back, breaking my balls. I tell em to stuff it, we want food etc. I was
ready to walk off the plane but they offer me 2 days off if Id do it. Shit, fuck.

Page | 309

Sooo, we fly the fucking thing back to Wuhan. Both the FO and the SO were dead asleep
in broad daylight from climbout, cruise and through the approach. We landed in Wuhan at 11am
which, incidentally, is when we checked in the day before in Tianjin.
Just for shits, while we were sitting there in Wuhan I showed the FO and SO the CCAR
that describes 2 and 3 pilot crews. I asked the SO if he fit the CCAR description of a relief pilot.
He said, No. Then I see him make a phonecall and two minutes later he tells me he is OK to
fly as a relief pilot. Fuck it, even if we did have a qualified relief crew, there is no designated
area for crew to rest on these aircraft. Ha. Anyhow, theres the goat rope for ya.

Lost and found??? HA! Youre kidding right? The Chinese dont return stuff to you if
they notice you drop it or know it belongs to you. The Confucian saying entails that the
object came to you by a stroke of good luck and therefore it belongs to you.
Capt. Anon.

Page | 310

CA Glitter
So there I was on a huge delay, halfway through 4 sectors down in Sanya. Our duty
period was at an end so I called up dispatch and canceled the flight. After a Chinese fire-drill, we
went to the hotel and went to sleep. In the morning, we went back to the airplane and put
everything back together. I went into the flight deck and started preparing things.
While I was finger-banging the FMS, a commotion erupted outside the flight deck. My
FO came through the door with his shirt undone from the collar halfway down, his necklace was
broken and hanging off, and he was about to cry. I suppose shes told you no then? was my
quip to the young man, and then I noticed the large red mark next to his eye. What the hell
happened to you? As tears began streaming down his cheeks, he related a story in broken
English of a passenger who attacked him and punched him in the face.
I was incredulous of course, and then the ruckus outside the flight deck door became
noticeably louder. I got out of my seat and pushed the FO through the door, myself following
closely behind. He reacted like a cat trying desperately not to be put in a tub of water: the
passenger who beat him up was standing right there in the forward galley.
As the fight started up again, the assailant tried making his way into the flight deck,
putting his sandal-clad foot into the doorjamb. I stomped on it and he withdrew after which I
slammed the door shut and locked it. I have no idea what would have happened if this animal
made it on deck. It would have been a brand of chaos that I am indeed happy to have avoided.
Eventually the police came and took a report. As they led the passenger off the aircraft
the man, a surprisingly short and otherwise unassuming person, looked at me and said, Sorry
captain. Sorry? Well, Im sorry its a bit too late and developed for that, bud. That ship has
sailed. Im guessing they hauled him off and shot his ass against a pockmarked and bloody wall
down in the airport basement.
Ah, China.

Aw schit. I think Ive just run out of witty things to say

In China you live under the shadow of a giant hammer and then get to the aircraft and
have no support. Go figure.
Capt. Anon.
Page | 311

YUP. It sure does. NOT to be confused with v of course

If I could make it through 1 year, I could do 2. If I could do 2 I could probably do 3. If I

could do 3 well then maybe I could do 5 In the end I barely made it through 4, and that
was a small miracle. I should have left after 3.
Capt. Anon.
Page | 312

CA 4Chan/b/
TowerGrand China 7123, line up and wait 34 Left.
FOLine up and wait 34 Left, China Dragon 7123. OK, lights on, transponder TA/RA,
Takeoff Config OK!
CAOK man, well, I didnt actually ask for the chickety checklist yet, but since youve already
just blasted through it, fine.
Tower Cleared for takeoff Grand China 7123
FOConfirm Grand China 7123 cleared for takeoff.
TowerRoger Grand China 7123, you are cleared for takeoff.
FORoger, cleared for takeoff Grand China 7123. OK captain, were cleared for takeoff.
CAYeah, so I heard. Check thrust.
FOThrust checked, airspeed alive, 80 knots and all dat shit.
CA
FOV1 VR!!!!!
CA
FOPositive rate gear up!!!!!
CADude, can you please wait for me to call for the gear up before you do it? LULZ.
FO400ft, heading mode!
CADude, seriously, can you please wait for me to callout before you make changes to the
FMGC?
FOLULZ they told me you foreigners R crazy crakas and shit.
CAFlaps up.
TowerYo bitzhes, contact departure.
FOHang on Cappy Crappy. Roger tower, Grand China 7123 contact departure!
CA
FOCheck this shit: Glorious afternoon, departure, this is Grand China 7123 airborne from
runway 34-Left, climbing to 600 meters on runway heading! Can you believe how good I am on
the radios? Fuck Im slick. They should call me fat-boy-slick Or wait, slim-boy-slick would be
better. OH DUDE that would make a GREAT meme. Im so clever!
CADude
DepartureRoger Grand China 7123, Welcome! You are hereby cleared to enter the
auspicious airspace of the PRC, maintain 600 meters and turn right to a heading of 130!
FOConfirm 600 meters, right turn to a heading of 130?
DepartureConfirmed, maintain 600 meters, right turn heading 130!
FORoger, 600 meters, right turn heading 130! Autopilot ON!
CADude, did I ask for the autopilot? Alts Cap.
FOOh sorry, I though you wanted the autopilot so I TURNED IT ON for you. Right turn to
130 crakka!
DepartureGrand China 7123, climb to 3900 meters.
FODeparture, Grand China 7123, confirm 3900 meters?
DepartureRoger Grand China 7123, climb to and maintain 3900 meters.
FORoger, Grand China 7123, we will climb to and maintain 3900 meters. Cap, climb 3900.
Da-amn! Check out all that traffic on TCAS! Daaaaaaamn China ROCKIN wit da auspicious
congestion! Prosperity an shit!
CA
FOCaptain, climb 3900 meters.
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CADude. 3900 meters. SET.

FOChecked! 3900 meters, thats 12,800feet you crazzzy ass foreigner with your crazzzy ass
altitudes in feet.
CAIts called tradition and industry practice you douchebag. Get in line with the rest of the
world.
FOYeah right! Whatever, CHINA RULZ!...
About 20 minutes later the (thankfully) short flight is reaching its destination.
CAOK, we have the ATIS, the approach is loaded as best as this piece of shit Universal FMS
will take it you did the approach check before I asked again So lets start getting configured.
Flaps 5.
FOROGER! Flaaaaps 5. Huh. Hey, did you already set flaps 5?
CAAre you fucking with me??? Sears dude, Ive had enough of your Chinese shit today, you
are fucking around right?
FONo captain, we (you) did bad. We (you) never brought the flaps up!
CADude, I called for that shit right after takeoff, didnt you hear me??? FUCK, you mean we
left the flaps down the ENTIRE FLIGHT??? THIS IS NOT GOOD. FUCK DUDE. FUCK! OK,
well at least we didnt go above 250 knots so, we didnt over-speed them. You idiot. You dumbass idiot!!!
HNICWAAAY, NEEHAO!!!! Head Nega In Charge here, you two in my office NOW
bitzhes!!! Captain, your fancy-pants lawai ass is MINE.

Well theres your problem FLAP, DAMN YOU!

CA Cellphone
So, there I was, time for another stupid line check with HNIC. He was particularly
gangsta this morning, screaming and yelling like a madman into his cell phone. Its typical to see
him doing some kind of yelling or other, but today he was actually getting red in the face. The
schedulers had arranged a back and forth to Dalian for our fun little jaunt. Everything went pretty
much according to plan on the way over, nothing to speak of really.
We pulled into the gate, loaded back up and turned ourselves around to head back to
Tianjin. Still nothing to speak of we taxied out to runway 28, no problems got clearance to
line up and takeoff still good. We were cleared for takeoff and started to roll we hit 80kts.
Then the HNICs phone rang. Now, its happened to all of us at least once, ya just forget to turn
it off. But, instead of turning it off, taking the battery out quickly or just throwing it against the
floor, he opted to answer it as we were continuing to accelerate down the runway: WAY NEE
Page | 314

HAO???? at the top of his lungs. The student in the observers seat was making all the callouts
(as usual) so I kept going. Frankly, I was so taken by surprise I didnt have the presence of
mind to abort the takeoff. As we rotated and leapt into the air, HNIC just kept on screaming into
his phone. Positive rate I brought up the gear. 400ft I selected heading on the FGCP.
Acceleration altitude I engaged the autopilot and brought up the flaps. Well, he had pretty
good reception. If wed planted in the side of the mountain just off the departure end of the
runway whomever he was talking to would have heard it loud and clear.
At about 2000ft he finally hung it up and then much to his chagrin I greased it on back
in Tianjin. All gangsta an shit.
Ed. note: Its come to our attention that this is not the only incident of Chief pilot HNIC Wang doing this during a
takeoff roll. There is at least one more example from a very reliable source.

CA Barfolimew
This is an epic story that has made the rounds. I finally heard it directly from the captain
it happened to so here it is from the horses mouth as it were. BTW, do horses ever vomit?
So there I was at dispatch getting the paperwork ready. Today was supposed to be a line
check for something. Maybe this was the last check, releasing me to operate without
supervision, whatever thats supposed to mean. The supervisors here are worse than the pilots
they are supposed to watch over.
Lou Wajia was milling around, and invited (forced) me to join him for breakfast. The
cantina was closed by this time, but they had leftovers cold leftovers. So, what the hay I
thought, hes eating so Ill eat.
After ramming some food down my throat I ran back downstairs and jumped on the
company bus to hit security and then the aircraft. We gassed up the plane, loaded up and saddled
up, blasting off for points Shandong in the venerable ol EMB145. The first 2 legs were
Davilous with me in the observers seat, after which wed switch seats and Id do my checkride.
It was somewhere around intersection P07 that my stomach suddenly contorted and I
almost passed out from a painful wave of nausea. I grabbed a sic-sac and puked my brains out in
a torrent of milky-grey liquid. The bag filled right up to the top, forming a nice little barf
meniscus.
They rang the purser to whom I passed the bag when the cockpit door opened. The look
on his face was priceless. Digestive system business done, I was good to proceed. I pounded a
water or two and we landed. That was the first two legs. The next leg was mine.
We switched seats and blasted off again. Everything was going great until we were on the
home stretch descending into Yantai. I started to feel that gut-wrenching pain again I
frantically asked the FO (who was now in the jumpseat) for another sic-sac. I transferred the
controls over to the examiner and buried my face in the bag, forcing out another torrent of milkygray liquid.
Having puked out my brains into a second bag, little bits of partially digested scrambled
egg floating around the top, I felt a million bucks better. I took back control over the airplane and
wheeled her around the traffic pattern, joining the LOC and GS (in totally visual conditions as is
the practice in China) landing almost without incident. On short final I felt the pressure suddenly
and urgently building downtown this time and the question arose in my mind: would I make it?
By the time we descended through the last hundred feet I had formed a strategy in the back of
Page | 315

my mind to jump out at the first opportunity and hit the facilities in the terminal. There was no
way I could battle upstream through the group of passengers deplaning to the single bathroom at
the back of the airplane.

As the purser dropped the airstairs, I was off like a shot and found the bathroom in the
terminals. Do you remember those clear-red plastic toy rockets you used to play with as a child:
fill em up of the way with water, hand-pump air into the remaining chamber and then
release yeah, it was just like that. A little while later Davilou came in looking for me, making
sure I hadnt died on the pot.
Needless to say, my duty day was over. They tried to get me to go to a hospital yeah
right, in the middle of BF China? No, Ill take my chances and ride home in the back. So I spent
the next 3 legs pounding water only to puke it back up (or worse) about 10 minutes later. It sure
cleaned out the pipes, though I dont think this situation is exactly what that expression intended.
The height of my agony was at Dalian where I felt a sudden wave of sickness wash over
me as the plane taxied onto the runway. I jumped out of my seat and bolted into the bathroom. I
couldnt decide which business to take care of first: #0, #2 or hold on for dear life. As the
engines wound up and brakes released, I knelt down on that filthy floor, grabbed hold of the
grimy toilet bowl and seriously puked.
I laughed about all of this at the time, and I laugh
about it now, and people I tell the story to laugh as well. I
mean, what do you do? Sometimes in this life there are
situations you end up in that you just cant negotiate through
so you bite down on the bullet hard and take that timeless
oath every warrior has ever taken, Fuckit, lets do this thing.
Oh, BTW, if stories containing the words torrent of
milky-gray liquid are not your kind of thing, maybe you
shouldnt have read the one above. Just a suggestion for the
future, hereby notified.
Yeah, Woah

Page | 316

CA Explosion
Having good coping skills and an endless supply of patience is absolutely mandatory if
youre going to last very long in China. If you dont have these character traits, itll be an uphill
battle for you. Weve seen a number of guys come through who didnt care to go out of their way
to put up a completely inept management team that has no organizational skills, no negotiating
skills, who dont know how to fly and have no business running an airline. Right. These guys
typically dont last very long.
This is the story of a guy who left a decent job to come fly at Tianjin under a whole host
of lies and impressions that pissed him off when the promises didnt pan out. Additionally,
shocked as he was with how poorly things are run at Tianjin and how abysmal the application of
SOPs is, he lost it. There were a number of foreign pilot meetings that devolved into shouting
matches over the horrific hotel accommodations when stationed at an out-base just to mention
one other sore topic.
Being that the foreign pilot holding the position of coordinator between the pilot group
(of which he is supposed to be part) and the company (who has him on a short leash) prefers to
coddle the hand that feeds him, promises were made that were way above his pay grade. Its
likely that some of these promises were made and broken by the company leaders like Xu, Qi or
Wang (HNIC); still, the coordinator should have known this tendency considering his experience
in China and tried to defuse the situation.
Matters came to a head when captain T, in a balled-up fit of frustration, wrote the eMail
below and blasted it off. Needless to say, the shit-storm this kicked off has never passed entirely.
So, without further ado, I present you the eMail we all wish we wrote but never had the balls to
(one could say he was not being too Googley, but then, Tianjin is FAR from being anything
remotely resembling a company that has any concept of what it is that is admirable about
Google):
Thanks XXXXXX,
You are a much better gentleman than I am. My two cents worth is this and this is all
directed at the Deputy Translator (as you previously said that your function was).
I for one will not let someone like you XXXXXX tell me how to fly my
airplane. You try and inspect my airplane or my flight and that flight will cancel! I follow
SOPs and CCARs (at least the version from the early 2000's that I had to find myself). I will
fly with any one of the foreign pilots any day and have full confidence in their ability,
professionalism and adherence to safety. I think it would be best if the Chinese pilots
stepped back and learned from the over 100 years of flying experience the rest of the world
has had. TJA is like a child who has been given a toy (Airplanes, Quick Access Recorder)
and does not know what to do with it.
You may step in line because you do not know any better and you have no substantial
experience except here and at another sub par company. Who are you trying to fool when
you say that the company is not doing this for financial gain. How convenient that this will
all go into effect at the same time that the pay raises will.

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Speaking of guidelines, you give us manuals that are unreadable with procedures that
when followed will give you fines. Obviously you do not agree with this because you
probably have not read the manuals. You want examples you say, well here are just a few off
the top of my head and please XXXXXX do not try and challenge me on Technical
knowledge because you have the Technical prowess of a flea (this I gathered after having a
few conversations with you).
Windshear (which has finally been fixed in Revision 4). By the way XXXXXX, I was
following SOPs regarding Windshear Caution (look at Revision 3 of the SOPs with regards
to Windshear Caution). This was before your silly meeting. After talking to Captain Xu, I
was informed that there was a bulletin sent out early last year stating that we go around for
Windshear Caution. XXXXXX, your lies are so blatant, how do you expect anyone to
believe you???
Revision 4 SOPs that talk about raising the flaps below 300 AGL (yes really!).
FOM that tells you to file reports whereas the company wants you to verbally file them.
Instructors and pilots (like yourself) who do not know the meaning of Green Dot and think
that Flap Speeds are the 210, 190, 170 (read the manuals for a change...SOP for starters....I
will not give you the chapter since I would like you to exercise your brain).
Instructors thinking that 270 KIAS/.76 MACH is a target speed for turbulence rather than a
max speed!
Pilots (Deputy Managers like yourself) telling people that you can let First Officers fly and
then at meetings reversing your stance (that is what you told me when I first got here, but
again you can deny it since that is your usual MO).
QARs are just that Quality Assurance and are [not] designed to fine pilots, but rather
to improve the training program. I will give you an example. I was told that I had an issue
with a time to touchdown Soft QAR, but did any of your fellow managers bother to look into
what the winds were (i.e. gusty or not), was there Ice Speed Protection (another 10
knots). Absolutely not, because as I told you on the phone, you are clueless! When are
carrying an extra 20 knots, you are bound to float a little especially if there are gusts. Now on
the other hand was the operation Safe and Legal? The answer is absolutely since the airplane
always touches down within the first third of the runway or 3,000 feet whichever is less.
What about the landing distance you ask....well the answer is my landings are always short
(ask my FOs). However, again, you and TJA do not make the effort to ask these important
questions because you for one do not have the capability for that kind of analytical thinking.
Bottom line, touch my pay, my airplane does not fly. Just a promise! As usual, in
your spineless fashion, you can forward this to XXXXXX at XXXXXX (like you did last
time). The fact will still remain, you are clueless! You may fire me, but the fact will remain
that your reputation as an ineffectual manager and back stabber will follow you (I will make
it my mission in life).
No Regards for you,
XXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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See these two guys on the ground holding the scaffolding no, they were not holding it in place. They were
MOVING it from place to place as the workers above continued washing the windows. See the wheels? At
least everybody is wearing their high-viz vests and the 3 workers up top are strapped in with leads. I guess
when the thing topples over they wont be thrown clear. So they have that going for them, which is nice.

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CA Wee-hai Whoops-hai
So there I was in China when all of a sudden I had the scariest landing of my life. Id been
naughty, letting the FOs fly, and they were doing pretty well to tell you the truth. Not great; well.
And then pow. Now, the one thing that was getting under my skin was that on every approach
they were flying something like VAP+20 into the flare. This is enough to make any Western pilot
angry. Being that there isnt a single runway in this forsaken land shorter than 10,000ft, its not
the worst thing that can happen, flaring with VAP+20. Im just about to tell you what the worst
thing is.
So I told the FO, Dude, on this next one, I want to see VAP all the way down the slope,
VREF at 50 over the fence, and touching down between VREF and VREF-5. He nodded his head
and said OK. We loaded up and blasted off for Weehai with beautiful early summer midmorning weather and a light sea breeze under the wings.
Weehai is a mixed-use military airport on the east coast in the Shandong province. The
runway is nestled in the middle of rolling hills, splashy little rivers, green vineyards and quaint
farmland. The PLA airforce wing based there is all old delta-wing Migs, Vietnam era 2-seaters,
so it looks like its a combat training-only group. As you taxi in past a long row of perhaps 50
military birds with canopy blisters glistening in the sun, youll see ground crew drilling or
maintenance wrenching on this and that. Sometimes you catch a wave from someone. When the
wing gears up for a training run you tend to incur a huge delay while they dominate the airspace
with maneuvers. Ive even seen them dragging targets down the runway behind a lead aircraft,
followed afterward by a pair of newbie hunter/attackers spreading their wings.
On this occasion the airport was pretty quiet. We conducted our overhead approach with
a sweeping left idle-descending turn into the downwind and left base leg. We rolled her onto the
LOC at about 2000ft with the slope just coming alive. I gave the FO the controls, and dropped
the flaps and gear, establishing ourselves fully on the ILS. As we started descending I watched
the airspeed... VAP+20 again We were descending through 500-feet.
Dude, check airspeed.
No response.
Check airspeed.
Check.
No man, youre 20-knots fast, check airspeed.
Correcting
I was expecting him to reduce the thrust a little, but he did nothing. The GIPWIZ called out 200feet and we were still fast.
Check airspeed.
Check.
At this point we were a little above 150-feet so I reached down, placed my right hand on top of
his left and eased the thrust levers back,
OK, now were correcting.
Check.
What happened next occurred in a matter of seconds. What I didnt realize was that, after I
moved the thrust levers and took my hand away, he removed his hand as well. Nobody was
flying the engines which were at or near idle. Fairly quickly we went from V AP + 20 to VREF-Xish. As we approached 30-feet I could feel the ass of the airplane sinking in the pit of my
stomach
Ohshit
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Flare! FLARE, FLARE, FLARE!!!

I grabbed the yoke and thrust levers, simultaneously fire-walling it and pitching back into
my chest. Somewhere a Kung-Fu master was screaming a battle cry at the top of his lungs.
Now we survived, because here I am telling you the story, but it was close. The plane slammed
onto the runway hard, so hard it shuddered scarily like Ive never felt before and bounced back
up into the air. She weather-vaned to the right, into the crosswind, and we came back down a
second time, hard. All I could see was dirt and grass in front of us as we scooted diagonally
toward the right side of the pavement.
Shit!
I jammed in full left rudder and the nose swung back, paralleling the runway. We were
way way way off the centerline. The nose was still way up in the air too, so I pitched her down
and the nose-wheel made impolite contact with the asphalt. My heart was ready to leap through
my ribcage.
Holy fuck, we scraped the tail. Holy fuck dude, holy fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Thats the
end of me. My career is officially over exactly right now.
The FOs were both taken aback.
Its OK captain, its OK. Dont worry about it.
Fuck OK dude, did you see what just happened? Are you kidding me?
We taxied onto the hard-stand, shut her down, and I ejected out the passenger door to
check the tail. Expecting to see mass carnage under the bottom of the fuselage/APU area, I was
pleasantly surprised when there wasnt a scratch. No gaping hole with zapping wires hanging
down no sparks no smoke I looked closely, scrutinizing the aircraft skin and paintjob
not a friggin mark. I looked at the RadAlt blister not a scratch.
Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah, hohoho! Im good. Holy shit. I can talk my way out of the rest.
I called the company up and talked to the foreign pilot coordinator explaining my
situation. He told me to keep flying and that theyd check the QAR data later. I climbed back
into the captains seat and tried to collect myself. I dont remember anything else that happened
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that day, but you can be sure of one thing: I didnt let the FOs touch the controls ever again. A
week later I heard that the QAR data recorded 1.601gs, .001 over the limit for a soft warning.
There was no data on any of the other parameters like pitch on touchdown. Ill take it, but Im
sure they totally doctored the numbers (somebody mustve liked me in the QAR department).
Look, Ill take what I can get.

Aye, she canta take much more o this, kepten an we go appendices comin next!

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CA CRM
So there we were in Guyang. The first time I flew here the instructor pilot had a good
laugh when he pointed out that the small, pointy mountains that dot the region look like tits. Who
ever said the Chinese are not puerile? Anyhow, on this day we were departing from runway 1
which points you in a slightly steeper terrain direction than runway 19. In any case, unless the
weather is nice and cool and youre not too heavy, you pretty much program the FADEC for a
full-thrust takeoff run. We were heavy this day and it was pretty dang hot. As we rolled onto the
runway I called for the takeoff checklist which the FO ran through with some pretty rough
Engrish. The tower cleared us to go just as the nose-gear eased onto the centerline, so I advanced
the thrust levers and the 2 General Electric CF34 engines wound up in their bulbous nacelles. We
began chewing up the runway and everything proceeded normally; airspeed alive, 80 knots, V1
and rotate!
I brought the nose up as I always do, noting that the flight-director paused around 9
degrees which it has a habit of doing for full-thrust takeoffs. After several seconds went by, I
noticed that the flight-director wasnt pitching up at all. This was unusual. I scanned the PFD and
noticed a CAS flag on the airspeed tape. At this point the FO was blithely bringing up the gear.
Unreliable airspeed. No reaction from the FO or the kid in the 3 rd seat. 400-feet, heading, the
FO announced as he casually selected heading (without my prompt). Unreliable airspeed, I
announced again. No reaction from the FO. I was scanning the standby instrument, noticing that
the airspeed on my PFD was about 20-knots slow. I scanned over to the FOs PFD and sure
enough, his matched the standby instrument. I began flying his flight director as we passed
1000feet above the departure runway. 1000feet, autopilot on, he said enthusiastically as he
selected the autopilot, again without my callout. No, we have unreliable airspeed, I said again,
this time quite emphatically as I disengaged the autopilot. What? Autopilot on, he said again
while selecting the autopilot a second time. I again deselected the autopilot and again announced,
Unreliable airspeed To be honest, I was shouting it by this point and getting a little pissed
off a little bit.
The look on this kids face when he realized what I was
saying was priceless. I selected cross-side ADS and my airspeed
tape snapped to the proper indication. The flight-director came alive
and we were back in business from an automation standpoint. Now
that things were cool, I engaged the autopilot, took the radios and
called for the QRH. Oh boy, a fucking mess ensued (as if it werent
bad enough already).
This guy is actually Japanese;
He fumbled his way along for a while and when I realized he the Chinese WISH they could
be this cool.
was useless, I transferred the controls and radio to him and grabbed
my own (English) QRH and started flipping through the NAP section. Id remembered
something about this topic in the non-annunciated procedures, found what I was looking for right
off the bat and ran the checklist myself. It turns out it wasnt really what I wanted, but it was
close enough to the situation we had. Guess what the 3rd step in the procedure said to do? Turn
the Autopilot OFF until its sorted out. Fuck me red and call me Mao in the morning.
So there you have it. If you think youre going to have any help on a V1 cut you are
kidding yourself. If you come to fly in China, youd better have some skills to pay the bills son,
and Im talkin single-pilot shit, or youre gunna find yourself laid out in a field somewhere with
a bunch of dead Chinese passengers (theyre all nodding their heads right now saying, Thats
right you stupid foreingers!). Not fun, not fun at all.
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Inflight Entertainment
Laugh it up fuzzball

Chasing Chinese Skirt

If you dig on exotic Asian women, youll find em in
abundance in China. Unless they are over 50 (whereupon about 49.9
years of aging takes place in a day), they tend to have that ultra-ditzy,
hello-kitty, schoolgirl, hella-pedophile kind of disposition to rattle
your cage. I hope you like body hair for a minute though; Chinese
women dont shave so much. So if you like armpit pussy or cavewoman legs, this is the place for you. Realize also that youll be
dating the entire family when you do bag yourself a Chinese girl, and
things will probably get really serious really quick, so get ready for
marriage.
The women there have their game down good too. They act all submissive and petite, but
when it comes to business behind closed doors they are maniacal, absolutely maniacal. Expect to
have a post-Maoist authoritarian militant in your bed. And, if youre into S&M, like I said before
China is the place for you. I heard a rumor that one of the guys here who decided to slip on the
wedding ring got to buy his fiance a BMW. That was the excited talk of the FOs for quite a
while; I thought they all were getting a BMW out of the deal.
Realize also that there is a pecking order when it comes to picking the stewardesses for a
little of the old in-out, in-out, and where you fit into that order is not exactly clear. From what
Ive gathered it looks like the company officials (leaders) get first pick of the litter, followed by
Chinese captains and then probably the first officers. You may be above the security guys, but
this is not certain. Its another example of hierarchy that you are just going to have to figure out
for yourself. Beware of the traps.
I did crack the door open a couple of times though, and boy howdy let me tell you. This
one chick I bagged was pretty wild in bed. In a fit of ? she dug her nails into my back and
screamed bloody murder. I politely withdrew, extracted her nails from my skin, and showered.
She asked me what was wrong later check the streaks of blood across the back of my t-shirt
for your answer sister; Im not into your Chinese S&M so much.

CA Rome
This one is just brilliant.
So there I was, pretty much on my first day of line training in China sitting in the left seat
with Michael (i.e. Jordan) on the right side instructing. Today, unbeknownst, I would learn many
things. First, at about 4000feet on climb-out from Tianjin I learned to plaster the windows with
newspaper to keep nasty ol Mr. Sun from shining in on us. Then I learned to smoke on deck
(how did they get their lighters through security?). Then I learned how to divert to an alternate at
the first whiff of a thunderstorm reported in the vicinity of our destination airport. Then I learned
how to do a proper Chinese fire drill in the cockpit preparing for our alternate airport.
So, we diverted, landed, sent the passengers to the terminal and flopped down in some
seats in the back cabin. The purser asked me if I wanted an apple. Sure, why not! Now, I
thought wed sit for maybe 30-40 minutes, gas up, get the passengers back aboard and blast off
again but noooo, we were headed for the hotel and rest. OK, smashing! Lets do this! It was
around that time I figured the purser had probably forgotten about the apple shed offered earlier
when suddenly and unexpectedly she handed it to me perched atop a paper cup with a little
plastic glove gracing the affair and it was pealed. Pealed! I almost fell out of my chair. A
Page | 325

pealed apple. At my previous gig youd be lucky if the FA didnt throw it at you, let alone offer
one in the first place. Heck, my mom never gave me a pealed apple.
Shortly after, the little hotel bus showed up, we piled in and headed off to our
unscheduled rest period. We breezed into the lobby, checked in, dashed upstairs and slammed
the doors of our rooms. No sooner had I taken off my shirt and put my head on the pillow, the
phone rang. I picked it up and a flurry of Chinese poured through the receiver. Oh, no thank you,
no-no, no thank you, thanks, OK, no, thanks, no OK? Bye... OK, bye bye. Bye! I set the
receiver down. A minute or so later there was a very Chinese knock at the door. What the hell
now I opened the door and was greeted by a decently-figured Chinese lady wearing a
somewhat slinky dress with a bottle of KY lube in one hand, a condom in her other and a broad
smile playing across her lips, Massaghee! She pushed her way into the room while I was
protesting as politely as I could. Here we are in deepest, darkest equatorial China, I have no idea
where I am or whats going on, and my head is still spinning from the fire drill diversion we
conducted 40 minutes earlier.
Massaghee! Massaghee! She was pointing at my wallet and shrugging off her dress. At
this point I was thinking a number of things like, Is the instructor playing a prank on me?
Who the hell is this lady she has gigantic nipples When in Rome So after some quick
calculations in my head that this was a messed up situation but WTF, yeah, I gave her 500 quai
and jumped in bed.
Remember those old Kodak commercials, the so-called Oh moments that you shouldnt
miss capturing on your handy-dandy disposable camera? Check YouTube if these are from
before your time Anyhow, when I dropped my drawers, the look on this ladys face was
absolutely priceless. Now, mind you, Im not exactly hung like a horse. Ive got your average,
God-given run in the mill equipment that works alright and gets me to where I need to go when
the gettins good. So, I thought she was being polite. It was a nice ego boost for the bewildered
foreigner who has just had his world completely turned upside down. Then she tried to put the
condom on and I realized she wasnt being polite. It didnt fit. I mean, it really, really didnt fit.
Oooooh-K. Lets just stop trying to put that on now (ouch) and instead lets just chill. TV? How
about that massage you were talking about earlier hon?
Not too long after this, the phone rang again and the FO told me everyone would meet
downstairs in 5 minutes. Wha? OK. My clandestine visitor disappeared. I jumped back into
my uniform and ran downstairs. I was expecting to see the instructor with a big shit-eating grin
on his face, maybe a finger pointed in my direction, hearty slap on the shoulder nothing. Not a
twinge was on this mans faade. I turned to the FO. Nothing, not the slightest hint of a sheepish
expression, nothing. Both of them were just standing there, waiting for the shuttle. So we got on,
drove back to the plane and finished our flights. To this day I have no clue how that lady knew I
was in that room. It never happened again at other hotels I stayed at (damn); I guess it was a
fluke. When in China?

OK, WHAT?!?! Why is this on an aeromed never mind.

[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]
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CA Da Bomb
So there I was, flying along on the last leg of a challenging day of delays, and decided to
take a little break in the forward galley, stretch the ol legs and clear the ol head. I dont like
sleeping on the job, so as an alternative I try to keep the blood moving, shake things up a bit. I
wasnt particularly paying attention to the time, but to me it felt like 10-15 minutes (later the
company claimed it was 25 minutes and some accounts put the figure at 45). At some point the
FO called me up and advised me to pull the curtain aside so the passengers couldnt see me.
After a while I went back up front, strapped in and we finished up the flight.
A couple of days later, maybe 3, the FO called me in a panic. He said the company was
investigating the entire crew for an incident that happened during our flight. He explained that
the purser had filed a complaint stating that he (the FO) refused to let me enter the flight deck
and it was turning into a shit storm. I told him not to worry, wed figure it out.
So, I got called into the office for a meeting with 2 assistants and the leader of the flight
standards department. After about an hour of interrogation gathering the details of my excursion,
they revealed to me that the FO said in a statement that he had advised me I was breaking
company regulations and that I should return to the flight deck immediately.
I met a Chinese girl on a flight as a passenger once; we hit it off and I got her number. I
went to visit a couple of times (her family lived quite a ways out in Tangu) and met her
brother as well the whole family. Her father was a cop. I also learned during my second
visit that her brother was an avid pot smoker. Great. Me and her brother went to a bar
that night with a couple of his friends and we all got tanked on shit Chinese beer. The
morning after this girl called me and freaked out over the phone claiming I had gotten
her bother over-drunk and that shed never see me again. Uh OK
Capt. Anon.
Ed. note: DO NOT play around with marijuana in China unless you want to go to jail forever and a day. If anybody
asks you about pot, simply smile and leave their presence immediately; the chances that person is an
undercover cop are astronomically high, and your chances of talking your way out of the situation are
astronomically low. Hereby notified.

I was chatting up a Chinese girl I was kindof dating, you know, the usual stuff about this
and that, small talk. Somehow the conversation turned to shooting stars and whatnot. She
had grown very quiet with an unusual expression on her face. Finally, she admitted she
had never seen one How curious! Then I realized the pollution. You never see the
night sky in Tianjin! Of course she had never seen a shooting star. Probably nobody in
that city had. How sad!
Capt. Anon.

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Tug Connected, Ready for Push

Ya made it Ace!

Page | 328

CA Parting Shots

It's unfortunate that I need to express some serious concerns pertinent to the safe and efficient
operation of the aircraft here at Tianjin Airlines. These concerns became quickly apparent after
my first few days of line flying. They are the culmination of previous language barrier and duty
responsibility concerns expressed earlier on.
First off I would like to describe to you my initial expectations with this contract. Quite simply,
I expected to operate the Embraer 190 aircraft as a captain sitting in the left seat while
conducting these operations with an ICAO level 4 First Officer sitting right seat. This was the
very essence of the contract description presented on the website.
Originally, the line training began with a very normal airline style Line Indoc. Somewhere
throughout this training it was announced that we would receive right seat qualification to
sometimes aid in the transition of new captains requiring 100 hours of left seat flying to
complete their initial upgrade. After contacting XXXXXX and having a discussion of what this
added responsibility meant, I believe we all agreed to helping out, owing that this would be an
infrequent and limited occurrence.
However, this has not been the case at all. It is safe to say that so far being here at Tianjin
Airlines, I have seen more time logged in the right seat of the aircraft - both from the 10 sectors
in line training and now as a line captain. Tianjin Airlines views us as being the Duty Captains
for these pairings and the new Captains sitting in the left seat to actually be the Pilot in
Command (flying each sector). As stated before, I originally believed this to be of minor
concern. But this form of operations has shown me that as SIC, I have been clearly cut from any
clear and concise discussion making ability and have been removed from my captain duties
completely to be nothing more than a glorified first officer. I'm sure you are well aware of the
pilot culture here in terms of Captain complexes and I certainly did not remove myself from a
previous contract like XXXXXX to come here and sit through this process. I have tried my best
to take on a mature and logical approach to this, being patient and monitoring the outcome, but
when my safety is in the hands of someone else and my input, even as the FO role is overlooked
I am quickly and profoundly concerned for the welfare of the passengers and myself.
Furthermore to this, some of the pilots I have been flying with hold no ICAO level 4
certification. I have at times reported for duty only to find a teacher from a CAAC accredited
university to be the translator sitting in the jump-seat. The language barrier is so tremendous
that words like Check Thrust, 80, V1, Rotate, Positive Rate, Gear up, Climb Sequence, etc... are
needed to be translated by the translator sitting in the middle seat. I have no idea at what point
any IATA certified carrier deemed it safe to have a non-licenced translator act as an
intermidiary between two languages in a flight deck, let alone having critical phases of flight be
translated. These SOP items verbalized during critical phases of flight are dependent on a time
sensitive response/action from the other pilot.

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Conversely, ATC communications have been either in English or Chinese and can only be
understood by 1 pilot at any given time. The communications are then translated for the other
pilot by the translator. Again, time sensitive actions are lost and I have personally witnessed
mistakes made in the numbers (i.e. altitude restriction/clearances). The operation is slowed
while wording is discussed between pilot/translator and I hate to even think of any 'lost in
translation' component that arises from these discussions. For the most part these missions were
pulled off despite the given circumstances. However, the big concern is during any sort of
emergency the wheels will fall off the wagon and the emergency will be aggravated.
Lastly, at my previous contract (and I believe I can say for any large airline), a captain sitting in
the right seat is considered a training captain. I believe that if we are to be consistently used for
this sort of operation then appropriate training/qualification should be issued to us, as well as
the appropriate training captain pay.
In summary, I hold concern that no great effort is being made on behalf of Tianjin Airlines to
recognize that a foreign pilot group is now operating their aircraft. Aside from the routine
operation, the company has failed to translate their website for our schedules, leaving us in the
dark until the moment we check-in and only then find out what is expected of us for the days
operations. The website shows us nothing more than date/time and destinations. I have accepted
and learned how to read the Chinese flight plans that are given to us for our missions. I was
accepting of all of our course material and presentation were made with Chinese powerpoint
and translated to us.
Please let me know what you suggest should be done to remedy this situation. As much as I
dread to think this, I cannot continue operating the aircraft with complete non-english speaking
pilots in the other seat and I cannot continue flying the role of FO unless some clarifications are
made to us in terms of expectations and responsibilities.
It is with much regret that I've had to write this email, but I am concerned for the nature of the
safety at hand.
Thank you for your attention to this matter,
XXXXXX

One Last Look at Terrorism Being Bred in China

Polemics aside youre going to want to pay really close attention to these kinds of reports.
Without taking sides, look at the situation for what it is and judge for yourself whether you need
to factor it into your risk assessment. As you do so keep in mind these reports are ongoing. Ill
leave it to you to decide if there is a marked increase in the occurrence of such events.

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Page | 332

Singing the FOs Song for a God Damned Minute

I cant finish this book without first seeing things from the FOs point of view. There are
a handful of good guys sitting in the right seat, not many, but I just have to tip my hat a little to
them. The Chinese captains and instructors can all eat my ass. Now, Ive been pretty hard on the
little buggers, the FOs Ive flown with and stories Ive heard about from the other foreigners. In
all honesty, they can be pretty good guys for the most part. There are some bad seeds to be sure,
some of whom respond positively to a good thrashing, some who are too far gone and hopeless.
But, the good guys are usually up for a laugh, some of em like to have dinner with you, and
theyre super curious to ask about where you come from etc. when they have enough English to
communicate with you. But, you have to understand that they are all fairly unhappy with the
company, and once in a while the truth about the relationship between these two groups rears its
ugly head, and in that moment you get it.
Think about the situation for a minute, how absolutely miserable it must be as a Chinese
FO in China, Id be hatin life too. You get paid shit and the company owns your ass (so there is
no chance of bettering your lot by sending out your resume), you get berated and hit by the
instructors and captains, you hardly ever get any time off to go home (certainly not guaranteed,
you have to beg for it), you arent allowed to fly and when you occasionally get lucky enough to
take the controls you have incomplete or plain ol wrong information so youre not doing it right
(you especially cant land for shit), and here comes a bunch of jabbering foreigners making a
killing sitting in the left seat that should be yours. They all laugh at your ways and tell you youre
doing it all wrong, which is true but flies in the face of your upbringing that taught you China is
superior to the rest of the world in every way. It all sucks rotten donkey balls.
Indeed, a lot of this is typical impatient pilot-y kind of complaining (how many times did
I hear it at past airline gigs), but some of it is legit shit. I was flying a 7 hour day with a kid once
over there in China who was clearly disgruntled and had some wincing back pain to boot. When
I asked if hed accompany me and the jump-seat student to dinner he unhappily divulged that he
had 2 more sectors to fly when we got in How is that possible, I asked, You have already
flown 7 hours. Right, he said, Fucking company, fucking dispatchers only count my flight
time, not taxi time, and tell me to fly more, so fucking shit.
We talked for a while about it, and I told him there is no way this would happen in the
USA. I told him that just one call to the FAA or pilots union and it was over for the company if
they tried pulling this kind of stunt. I told him that I knew what I was going to say next would
piss him off, but Id tell him anyhow: China is 50 years behind the West and the pain you are
experiencing now we settled a long time ago. He took the critique in stride. In the end he asked
if anyone ever took photos as evidence against Western companies. I told him, Yes, but it
doesnt really matter. If you have a union backing you up, the companies will usually think twice
before they fuck with you. Its true as far as violations of FAA regs go at least; contract
violation issues and grievances are another animal altogether.
And this sums up the way it is in China. There had been a huge push to promote safety
just before I was paired to fly with this kid due to the shenanigans with the EMB145 going off
the runway in Shanghai; and here they were busting duty regs to cover flights. Awesome. There
are provisions for that, but nobody really follows it. What are you going to do, quit? Sure, and I
did when enough was enough. Ya know, theres going to be a big accident, at Tianjin, and I sure
as hell dont want to be around when it happens. You think life is miserable now, kid? Wait until
the CAAC crawls up each and every one of your asses with no rights guaranteed by any law
thats going to be followed, if even such law existed to begin with.
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See, you can have a million rules for anything under the sun, but they dont mean a
fucking thing if nobody follows them, and if you make the system so tight that nobody can make
it through anyhow, youve created yet another danger. The rules furthermore dont mean
anything if a privileged few are allowed to be above them whilst browbeating the group as hard
as possible to be obedient and comply; and this is because, no matter how you slice it Mr. and
Mrs. China, you are human beings subject to the same human condition by which I am enfeebled,
and this means that you follow the same behavior patterns as everyone else in the world. It is the
case that in human behavior, leaders set the example which the rank-and-file emulate. Thats
why we call it corruption when leaders do things against the established rules. This is why we
punish them especially hard for their wrongdoing, because the message has to be sent that order
is an absolute good in a world of increasing entropy, and all agents of control therein are
responsible for maintaining said order.
Indeed, order is absolutely necessary while operating an advanced machine which itself
was designed as a model of order, attempting to be a miniature haven of order traveling at
perilous speeds through the seldom calm realm of mother natures wild blue yonder. Whether
you agree or not, Id been riding the fence over whether to publish this awesome rag of a book
up until this point, and herewith my decision was cast in stone. So, Hi yall!

Yeah, you could say its kindof like that a little bit

You did it didnt you? You signed up with TEMPO?

Frack it. Sorry dude, youre an idiot
Page | 334

End Game
I kept a tab on the foreign Captains quitting Tianjin, those trying to quit and those who
just left China outright. These were the guys I was in contact with; there could have been others.
We all know how bitchy pilots can be; but this is proof positive that money is not everything and
a testament to how bad the conditions had really become. Mind you these numbers were gathered
during the period when pilots were making the most money per the new contract (all except 1 of
these guys quit or were trying to quit from mid-2013 through 2014):
Pilot Aaccepted a callback to go home
Pilot Baccepted a callback to go home
Pilot Caccepted a callback to go home
Pilot Dinterviewed with Dragon in HongKong
Pilot Einterviewed with a corporate gig in Macao
Pilot Fleft to fly in Japan
Pilot Gleft to fly in Japan
Pilot Hinterviewed with Dragon in HongKong

Pilot Iwaiting for interview with United

Pilot Jinvited to interview with US Air
Pilot Kinterviewed at Minsheng in Beijing
Pilot Lwaiting for interview in Japan
Pilot Mstatus unsure; seeking callback in the US
Pilot Nstatus unsure; seeking callback in the US
Pilot Oreleased by Tianjin; seeking employment
Pilot Paccepted a callback to go home

Estimates and forecasts for 2014 by the foreign Captains saw the company losing 20 pilots by the
end of summer. Ya gotta ask yourself why? I mean, yeah, this is the best paying EMB190 and
EMB145 contract in the world and a mid-level A320 contract.
Whats happening here? I think yes, people realize money is not everything in this world.
At the risk of getting right back into a mainline argument at the end of my rag of a book, Im
going to say that the rules are stacked against you for a reason: they are impossible to follow so
you need to be a company suckup who sells his soul to stay clear of the QARs etc. If you bow
down to the manager, he will save your ass when the time comes; if you have been a thorn in his
side, you will bow when the time comes (sooner than later) so you can keep your phony-baloney
job making a lot of money. If YOU want to bow to the Chinese go for it, I cant stop you. At
least their dicks are really small and fit past Westerners lips easily.

CA Its Over
So there we were, sitting at the gate on delay. We sat, and sat, and sat some more. We sat
for 3 hours with no end in sight. I was toast and decided that was the end of that. I requested the
ground crew to bring the stairs. No go, GI Joe. So, I demanded the stairs. After a while they
came over with some. I grabbed my flight kit, exited the aircraft, took the shuttle out through the
security checkpoint and went to some hotel. The next day I had a meeting with the company and
tendered my resignation. They asked me to stay on a while, which I did; but that, as they say,
was that.

Im putting this one in a second time just for good measure. Shit, it was on the exam twice...
[Excerpt from Emergency Exam Answers]
Page | 335

Close the Main Door, Arm the Slide

So, dear reader, there you have it. Im not going waste your time and wax poetic (any
more) about the trials and tribulations of living in China or my experiences flying upside down.
Yes, Ive done enough waxing already (though the ladies in China sure havent) and besides, itd
spoil the richly sarcastic and mildly surly tone Ive been slaving over with a yucky lingering
aftertaste. But I think a little recap is in order:
Dont drink the local beer
Dont eat the fish; better yet, dont eat anything
Go ahead and eat the pork if youre really brave and not constrained by religion or
thoughts of genetic engineering
Eat the lamb only if youre sure it isnt cat or rat
Bring hip waders for all the pollution on the streets (and BS in the office)
Bring a respirator for all the pollution in the air
Make sure your drivers car has good side-impact zones and airbags
Find several honest Chinese to help you do your banking and get your money OUT
Spring Festival = duck and cover; keep a big ol fire extinguisher in your apartment
Fly SUPER SUPER conservative and EXPECT to be fined sooner than later
Dont go anywhere near a thunderstorm; return to your departure when necessary
Fly SLOW in turbulence
Keep your head on a swivel and your wits about you
Dont trust River (Mr. Liu)
Dont trust ANY of them
Dont get sick
Have an emergency extraction exit strategy ready at all times
Bring your own condoms
If you have a family dont take them there
Dont buy the local baby milk powder, eggs or any prepared food that uses cooking oil
Take all logic and reason and turn it inside-out if you want to understand them
Be ready for an ass-reaming at all times
Bring your own uniform pieces
Dont be female or black
Dont quit your former job if at all possible
Dont let em fly
Just dont go?
So, I suppose the biggest lesson Ive learned flying in China is how dangerous it is to
question the fundamentals one has had drilled into his airman spirit essence from day 1 of flight
school in the good old God Blessed US of A (or from whichever Western country you hail).
What I learned most is that Western pilots need to resist tearing down these barriers in the face of
a worthy adversary who would have otherwise. Some of my readers will undoubtedly sniff at this
moment, satisfied in the confirmation of their suspicions about how it is to fly in China; others
will have raised an eyebrow or three and thank God the West is the way it is. Then, theres one
group of uncouth and down to Earth pilots reading this who will simply chalk it all up to
Page | 336

something theyre ready to jump into, damn the torpedoes, put me in coach. To you few, this
book probably reads like the wimpy freshman kid in high school telling all the seniors to keep
away from his super-hot older sister. For those of you who still dare to go fly upside down, I
warn you to be extremely careful, keep the shit out of your shine-ola, dont catch anything from
said sister, and if you do, see a Western doctor and get rid of it.
Keep it safe out there with the shiny-side up sports fans,
Duke

=cue badass shredding guitar and roll the appendices=

=please read the appendices, the ride is NOT over=

P.S. Will somebody PLEASE give SkyTrax a hard time for us? Someone in the office over there
has gotta be takin some bribes for sure. Pfffft! 4- stars my ass. I wonder how much it cost to
get that rating... Its nearly a laugh, but its really a cry.
Page | 337

Appendices
More steaming wong fo da bowl!

Appendix A
The following is the translation of a company document detailing what they think is
important about an accident in Xian where a company 145 plowed off the runway during a
landing in moderate rain, and what they consider a reasonable reaction to the event. Enjoy!
To all pilots:
Flight GS7474 veered off to the right during its landing at Xian Airport on Jul 25 th. In
order to ensure flight operation in the busy season and enhance safe operation on wet and
contaminated runways, this notice is issued hereby and should be implemented strictly by all
pilots.
1. Strictly observe the regulation that landing under moderate rain (and above) at night or
heavy rain (and above) in daytime is prohibited for E190 aircraft. Before landing, if rain is
reported by ATC, flight crew must confirm the amount of precipitation with the ATC.
Meanwhile, even if ATC says weather is above the landing minima, flight crew should abort the
approach if visual references cannot be established continuously or can be hardly established
with the windshield wipers operating.
2. During takeoff or approach, if rain is reported by Tower, select the windshield wiper to
HI position no matter it is moderate rain, light rain or drizzle. TIMER and LOW positions are
only selected when taxiing or holding on ground.
3. When landing on a wet/contaminated runway, perform a firm touchdown, which can
efficiently prevent hydroplaning from happening. If large directional deviation occurs when
landing under rain conditions or on a wet and slippery runway with crosswind, apply the rudder
pedal for correction and simultaneously retract the thrust reversers if they have been deployed. If
the aircraft veers off the centerline or hydroplaning occurs when landing on a wet and slippery
runway especially when it is covered with standing water, the use of reverse thrust makes the
situation worse. Therefore, excessive rudder application must be avoided during drift correction
so as to prevent the aircraft from skidding sideways, which may lead to hydroplaning. Make
small and quick corrections for several times as early as possible when the aircraft runs off the
centerline.
4. Confirm with ATC on the amount of standing water if it is reported to be present on
the runway before landing and check if it satisfies the Companys landing criteria for operation
on a runway contaminated with standing water. If it is over 13mm or if no specific information
about the amount of standing water is available from ATC, the approach must be aborted.
5. Control the airspeed to target the aircraft at the touchdown zone when landing on a
wet/contaminated runway. Do not increase the approach speed blindly. Use brakes immediately
after touchdown to decelerate the aircraft. Avoid excessive pursuit of landing both main gears
softly at the same time on a wet/contaminated runway. If the aircraft is visually high or it
overshoots the touchdown zone, perform a go-around without any hesitation.
6. Stick to the Eight Dos and One Do not and the One-vote Veto for landing
principles. Do not take chances in any circumstance.

Page | i

Appendix B
These are the translations of several criticisms and related notices published by Tianjin
Airlines as punishment of foreign pilots.

1.
About the punishment given to Captain A Bulletin
Various units within the Department:
Foreign and Taiwan pilot service centers in readiness for pre-inspection, we found that
foreign pilots Captain A is not carried out within the stipulated time to prepare in advance.
Our center many times in different forms emphasize the importance of pre-prepared, the
request must be prepared in strict accordance with company policy, Captain A not pay enough
attention to this requirement, not strict with themselves. In view of this, according to the foreign
pilots Manual 9.3.2.3 terms for the education I, warning others, the sector studies, decided:
Give Captain A criticized sanctions.

2.
Regarding the granting of foreign pilots Captain B disposition notification
Various units within the Department:
Foreign and Taiwan pilot service center many times in different forms on Tianjin Airlines
windshear change the policy Publicizing foreign pilots Captain B not pay enough attention to this
requirement is not strictly in accordance with the windshear recovery procedure to operate. This
event has not yet direct impace on flight safety, it reflects Captain B run of poor quality, it was a
general flight violations.
During the time when the security style is rectified, Captain B not know enough about the
company as stipulated in the safety awareness is weak, and there is a negative attitude during
commenting. In view of this, according to the foreign pilots Manual 9.3.2.3 terms for the
education I, warning others, the sector studies decided.
Give Captain B reprimand and a fine of 3,000 yuan penalty.
Hereby notified

Page | ii

3.

4.
May 24, Captain D execute GS6687 (Taiyuan Lanzhou) flight, not strictly in
accordance with the provisions of SOP Implementation flight operations, in violation of manual
requirements, the trigger 602 hard warning. The incident exposed the crew did not strictly
enforce the E145 aircraft Manual, the relevant limits, flying style is not rigorous, CRM
management is not in place for flight safety and flight quality impacts.
According to flight department management manual employee incentive provisions of
Section 7.3.1.3-1) (24) provides, through research, decided:
Captain D give notice of criticism and punishment shall be deducted 3,000 yuan.
Give copilot Di Liu Hao informed criticism and each shall be deducted one month pay
for performance penalties.
Please entire crew warning, strict implementation of SOP, in accordance with the normal
operation of the aircraft flight procedured to comply with this model manipulation restrictions,
improve CRM management, enhance flight style, for the safe operation of the companys good
mark.
Hereby notified
Page | iii

5. A clear case of sliding right when you should have slid to the left?

Page | iv

6. A cluster-fucking of 5 guys if Ive ever seen one. Dont show me the 1 cup

Page | v

Appendix C
Here is a company notice that went largely unnoticed by the pilot group. It should
provide insight to the kind of disregard the Chinese have for following the rules, even when
those rules are established for safety.
To all E190 pilots,
Some gasper outlets located near the cockpit window and below the DUs have been
found blocked with newspapers and blankets by some pilots. Such stuffing has also been found
under the pilot seat cushion. This notice is produced to remind all pilots that such behavior has
affected the normal operation of the equipments and caused potential risks to flight safety.
1. The gasper outlets near the cockpit windows are designed to improve visibility in case
of smoke in the cockpit as the air provided by these outlets will contribute to smoke dissipation.
2. The outlets located below the DUs are used to cool the DUs. The air coming out from
these outlets have been deflected in the new design so that it will not blow directly towards pilot
knees. The DU 4 has been reported to be blanked on one aircraft due to the blocked outlet and
recovered soon after the removal of the blanket.

3. Newspapers have been found under the pilot seat cushion to make the sinking thighrest
higher and improve comfort. As the newspapers are not properly fixed, it causes the
forward part of the cushion to shift, which might affect the aft movement of the control column
in extreme cases. According to the maintenance report about a specific check covering all E190
air planes, 9 of them have pilot seats stuffed with newspapers. If any seat cushion is found to be
displaced in the cockpit, it should be recorded in the FLB for maintenance action. Foreign
objects are strictly forbidden to be placed under the cushion.
It is the flight crews responsibility to check if any cockpit equipment is covered or
blocked with foreign objects whenever they receive the aircraft from other crew, and inform the
fleet if there is any. Such cases will be investigated and handled seriously.
Effective Date: Jul. 22nd, 2013

Page | vi

Appendix D
To all pilots:
According to the recent inspection, several crews did not strictly comply with the relevant
regulations of preflight preparation in Haikou area. The detailed preflight preparation is the
guarantee of safety operation, please abide by the following rules:
1. Strictly follow the registration time, no other unrelated things (e.g. dining) should be
done after the registration. The delay of flight or the late arrival of aircraft can be an
exception.
2. Abide by the preparation procedures strictly. Finish the items on the cooperation card
one by one with flight attendants. To become formalistic is forbidden, the content of
cooperation should be close to the expected actual condition of flight, the
unprofessional words (e.g. as usual or as before) is not permitted.
3. If there are any doubts on weather condition, fuel quantity, or aircraft condition,
please communicate with dispatcher according to the process. The ultimate goal is
safety operation.
4. To emphasize again: to guarantee the safety of flight crew, the reflective vest must be
worn during the refuel and walk around. The flight crew must monitor of refuel
process from the beginning to the end.

Notice on Alcohol Detecting

Right now, a strictly comprehensive detection on alcohol of crewmembers is going on in
TJ Airlines . Standards and procedure are as follows:
I) for flight crewmembers, drink alcohol or beverages which contains alcohol 12 hours
before flight is forbidden, alcohol density in exhaled air should no more than 0.04g/ 210liters.
II)
1) TJ, Urumqi , xian , Beijing, Haikou have installed SAD 300 -vertical automatic
alcohol detector .After signed in , crewmembers should take alcohol test with your work ID.
You can read the instructions on the machine, or you can consult the aviation doctor.
2) For other bases where have not possess the automatic detector , will continue to use
the hand-held one to take detection.
III) For the bases or outside station with aviation doctor, pilots also need do the alcohol
test.
1) For the bases or outside station with aviation doctor on duty, aviation doctor is in
charge of alcohol test.
2) For bases without aviation doctors on duty , qualified staff will be authorized to carry
out the test, the authorized person has to receive training by aviation medicine in advance , and
carry work according to requirements of aviation medicine center , give feedback and report to
aviation medicine center on time .
Ed. note: This memo caused a lot of confusion because elsewhere the rule was being quoted as 24 hours bottle to
throttle whereas here it is being shown as 12 hours. The 24-hour rule prevailed and despite their boasting
to the contrary Duke witnessed pilots doing their damnedest to comply lest they be fined or fired. Thats
an expensive beer after all

Page | vii

Appendix E
To all E190 pilots:
There are many high load incidents in recent flights, due to crew manual intervene flight
control which to prevent overspeed. The main reason is that the speed increased rapidly when
aircrafts enter turbulence area in cloud during descent or leveloff, or due to slow acceleration and
high V/S during descent. Because of the short time neglect of speed monitoring, crew disengaged
AP and pull control wheel strongly, which lead to overlimit high load and onboard personnel
injured when speed increased to the maximum speed. Based on these incidents, special advisory
is issued as the guideline for the crew. During leveloff, crew should follow the SOP regulated
cruise speed. If crew is able to anticipate that the aircraft will enter turbulence area, the speed
should be decelerated to turbulence speed range. When the speed cannot be controlled in the
turbulence speed, crew should override autothrottle set proper speed. When encounter
unexpected turbulence, crew only need to set autothrottle to idle range that stop the aircraft from
accelerating is enough. In the meantime, PF can callout to make PNF set speed cursor to proper
range. Prevent overspeed by disengage AP and pull control wheel to increase elevation is
forbidden. During descent, crew should follow the SOP regulated descent speed. If turbulence
can be estimated, crew should first reduce speed cursor to turbulence speed range, and set proper
V/S to prevent fast acceleration. The top potential safety hazard is the influence of the load by
overspeed when encounter turbulence, not the V/S that satisfied the descent requirement or ATC
order. Direct select FLCH and reduce speed cursor is the only correct operation when accelerate
too fast or almost reach the limited speed. To the same reason, when encounter unexpected
turbulence, the first action for crew should be reduce V/S, set speed to turbulence speed range
and select FLCH, rather than disengage AP and pull control wheel, which lead to high load
incidents in flight. Prevent overspeed by disengage AP and pull control wheel to increase
elevation is forbidden. The above methods do not apply to the recovery and special handling
when aircraft in complex condition. Crew should be flexibility in the use of fly philosophy.

Page | viii

Appendix F
Punishment Criterion of Violating Flight Discipline
All Pilots
The following rules are important, please take it seriously.
I. General
To curb the flight discipline violation and ensure flight safety, according to the Safety
Production Law, Civil Aviation Law, relevant provisions of CCAR-121 as well as the relevant
spirit of the meeting of the State Council, the following behavior will be strictly punished,
including dismissal qualification, informing CAAC to revoke flight license and other
punishments; for causing serious consequences, financial compensation and liability shall be
investigated as appropriate
II. The punishment standard
(I) For the following acts, give pilot/flight crew-in-charge dismisses qualifications;
1) For flight crewmembers, 8 hours before performing his flight mission, involving in
entertainment, games, parties and other events affecting the normal rest or in a severe fatigue
state to flight.
2) During flight operations, the flight crew members who against regulations to leave the
cockpit, except for physical and operational needs.
3) Flight crew who do not meet stabilized approach requirements or do not perform go
around continue to approach and land according to one-vote-down principle.
(II) For the following acts, give pilot/flight crew-in-charge dismissing qualifications and
informs the CAAC:
1) For flight crew members, drink or use alcoholic beverages, narcotics, narcotic drugs or
other drugs 12 hours before performing his flight mission or during flight, which will affect the
work ability, or the alcohol concentration exceeds standard during perform tasks.
(Note: The alcohol concentration detection limitation criterion for the concentration of
alcohol in exhaled air is at or above 0.04 g / 210 liters.)
2) Descend below DH/DA or MDA/MDH without establishing required visual reference,
or flying below DH/DA or MDA/MDH continue approach without maintaining required visual
reference.
Hereby notified

Page | ix

Appendix G
CAAC Document Interpreting Rest

Page | x

Appendix H
Here is the company report issued to all pilots via blast eMail regarding one foreign pilot
who mistakenly made a wrong turn while taxiing out for departure. You just cant make up this
kind of stuff.

Here we go, sports fans: Taxiing to a Wrong Way!

OK, so where is the issue here? Can someone please explain this to me?

Page | xi

Yup, theres a hotspot at that intersection no mention of that in the report anywhere

I mean, QAR data, really? REALLY??

Page | xii

So, what youre telling me is that there is no room for human factors in China?
Oh, and extremely tired should probably read asleep because, you know, fatigue is not an issue.

Feedback from the copilot usually throws the Captain under the bus.
This was toned down for some reason.
Page | xiii

Conclusion: this event belongs in the garbage bin. Its not anything: not unsafe, not anything noteworthy.
Lesson learned: how fucked up it is in China. PERIOD.

Whatever. Standby while I put a bullet through my skull.

Page | xiv

Appendix I
List of (Chinese) Captains who flew long hours
This one is noteworthy because it should illustrate first how often one encounters delays
in China and how often one is faced with extensive duty periods. Still, not only are the numbers
often cooked, they are also simply erased from the system. Remember of course that there is no
leeway for calling fatigued in China. Second, reward notices like this dont come out very often,
and when they do they are strictly for Chinese pilots, as you can see.

Page | xv

The following list had 3 foreigners on it who were removed by the editor. Take a careful
look at this list and make your own judgments. For ease of sifting through the lot we added
highlights in yellow where duty time was approaching 16 hours and red for duty times in excess
of that period.
About to give Lee and expensive units such as the recognition of notification
Various units within the Department :
August 1 , Lee and expensive / Song Dechen perform GS6535/GS6536 ( South Jiangxi Hang Gannan ) flight, due Hangzhou
thunderstorms, crew duty time 15 hours 12 minutes .
August 1 , Li agriculture execution GS6682/GS6681 ( South Hubei Tianjin E'nan ) flight, due Tianjin thunderstorms, duty time 15
hours 30 minutes .
August 1 , Hao Hongfei / Ren Sen execution GS7430/GS7493/GS7494 ( Shaanxi Yan Shi bluestone call call ) flight, due to lack of
capacity , crew duty time of 14 hours 45 minutes .
August 1 , Shen Zhijiang / Guo Zhe perform GS7595/GS7596 flight crew duty time of 14 hours 50 minutes.
August 1 , Jian-Wei Lin perform GS6447/GS6448 and GS6511/GS6512 flight duty time 15 hours 50 minutes.
August 1 , ZHAO Shu- winning executive GS6469/GS6470 and GS7505/GS7506 flight duty time 14 hours 43 minutes.
August 1 , Ranmao Yu perform GS6459/GS6460 and GS6471/GS6472 flight duty time 15 hours 46 minutes .
August 1 , Gao Haitao / Li Qiubin perform GS7528/GS7527 flight crew duty time of 15 hours and 40 minutes.
August 2 , Kai 4 / Chen Shaoliang perform GS7430/GS6437/GS6438 ( Shaanxi Yan Chek call call ) flight because c all and
thunderstorms , crew duty time of 14 hours 30 minutes .
August 3 , Zhu Tao / Malone perform GS6637/GS6638 ( Joan Joan Guiyin expensive ) route , due Haikou flow control reasons , th e
crew duty time of 14 hours 20 minutes.
August 3 , Jiang sought to enforce GS0645Z/GS6423/GS6455/GS6456 ( Ningbo Qiongnan the Chongqing expensive ) route , as
Haikou and Chongqing flow control reasons, on duty 15 hours .
August 4 , He Hongtao / TAN Ming Executive GS6597/GS6598 ( Tianjin Germany Lyud Tianjin ) flights delayed due to weather ,
crew duty time 14 hours 35 minutes.
August 4 , Deng Rui perform GS6459/GS6460/GS6471/GS6472 ( the copper Chang Hang Cheong your expensive ) flight delays
due to flow control reasons , duty time 14 hours and 15 minutes.
August 4 , Libo Yang / segment Zhengwei perform GS6447/GS6448 / GS6511/GS6512 ( Tianjin Hai Jin Lian -chun ) flight, flight
diversions due to weather Weihai canceled the next day, make up classes Dalian - Tianjin , crew duty time of 15 hours 25 minutes.
August 5 , Wang Qingyu / quiet / Single Chun Li execution GS6447/GS6448/GS6697/GS6698 ( Tianjin Hai Jin Hai -chun ) flight
because Hailar weather, crew duty time of 16 hours and 25 minutes.
August 5 , ZHAO Shu- winning executive GS7503/GS7504/GS6610/GS6513/GS6514 ( the copper expensive ZHENG Jin Lian chun ) flight because running delay time of 15 hours on duty .
August 6 , Yang perform GS6501/GS6502/GS7463/GS7464 ( Tianjin Lian -chun, ZHENG Chang Zheng -chun ) flight, as Dalian and
Tianjin weather flow control reasons, duty time 15 hours and 30 minutes.
August 6 , An executive with celecoxib GS6503/GS6504/GS6507/GS6508/GS6476 ( Tianjin Lian Jin Lian -chun Joan ) flight, due
Dalian weather and aircraft malfunction, duty time 15 hours and 40 minutes.
August 6 , Zhang Yuhui / Lu Yi Hang perform GS6593/GS6594 / GS6569/GS6570/GS7495/GS7496 ( black car places Ukraine
Ukrainian Ukrainian places ) flight, because the Air Force activity Urumqi , crew duty time of 14 hours 20 minutes.
August 7 , Bo 3 / PAN Zhi / Geng Hui Executive GS6537/GS6538 ( call Zheng Hang Zheng call ) flight, because Zhengzhou flow
control , crew duty time of 14 hours 05 minutes .
August 7 , Xu Kejun / Guo Zhe / Wei execution GS7467/GS7468 ( call Zheng Huang Zheng call ) flight, because Zhengzhou flo w
control , crew duty time of 14 hours 15 minutes .

Page | xvi

August 7 , cotinine perform GS7503/GS7504/GS6610 ( the copper expensive Zheng Jin ) flights due to weather weather, duty time
15 hours 40 minutes .
August 7 , PENG Yuan execution GS6571/GS6572 ( Shaanxi Jin-chun chun Shaanxi ) flight, due Tianjin weather, duty time 15
hours 30 minutes .
August 7 , Kingdom Construction / Yue Song execution GS6489/GS6490 ( call Stone Hop Shek call ) flight, due Shijiazhuang
weather, Jinan alternate flight crew duty time of 15 hours 30 minutes .
August 7 , Zhou Yunlan / Anson perform GS6447/GS6448/GS6509/GS6510 ( Tianjin Hai Jin Lian -chun ) flight, due Tianjin weather,
crew duty time 14 hours 25 minutes .
August 7 , LI Chun-liang / segment Zhengwei perform GS6613/GS6614 ( Tianjin Green WEN Qing -chun ) flight, due Tianjin
weather, crew duty time 14 hours 32 minutes .
August 7 , Li Jian perform GS7430/GS7493/GS7494 ( Shaanxi Yan Shi bluestone call call ) flight, due Shijiazhuang weather, dut y
time 14 hours 30 minutes .
August 7 , Cui Changjun / Zang Wei GS6617/GS6618 ( Ha Jin Fu Fu -chun ) flight, due Tianjin weather, crew duty time 14 hours 30
minutes .
August 11 , Libo Yang / Liu Xin an executive GS7465/GS7466 ( Tianjin Shaanxi expensive Shaanxi Tianjin ) flight, due T ianjin
thunderstorms, crew duty time of 14 hours 30 minutes .
August 11 , Li Qi / Jingang perform GS7543/GS7544/GS7523/GS7547 ( Shaanxi Shaanxi Yu Qing Qing Lan Jing ) flight because
aircraft fault and Beijing thunderstorms , crew duty time of 15 hours 30 minutes .
August 11 , Hou Jian perform GS0646R/GS6610/GS6511/GS6512 ( Liu Jin Lian Jin Cheng expensive ) flight because Tianjin
thunderstorms, duty time 15 hours 45 minutes .
August 12 , Liu Bainian winter execute GS0667Z/S6447/GS6448/gs6511/6512 ( green Tianjin Hai Jin Lian -chun ) flight, due Dalian
weather reasons , the final "Jin Lian -chun ," flight cancellations , on duty 15 hours .
August 13 , Lee shirt execution GS6501/GS6502 ( Tianjin Lian -chun ) and GS7463/GS7464 ( Tianjin Zheng Chang Zheng -chun )
flights due to weather conditions , duty time 15 hours 20 minutes .
August 13 , Chen Kang Ka / Shiying Jun / Zhanke Long execution GS6615/GS6616 ( Tianjin Qing Fu Qing -chun ) and
GS7431/GS7432 ( Tianjin Qing -chun ) flights due to weather conditions , duty time 17 hours 18 minutes .
August 14 , Li agriculture / Gao Chang Rui perform GS0749V/GS7493/GS7494 ( call Stone Stone bluestone call call ) flight because
Shijiazhuang thunderstorms, crew duty time of 15 hours 45 minutes .
August 15 , Ma Xiaoxuan / Zhang An executive GS6503/GS6504/GS7463/GS7464 ( Tianjin Lian -chun, ZHENG Chang Zheng chun ) flight, due Tianjin flow control, duty time 15 hours and 40 minutes.
August 15 , Zhang Xifu / Chao perform GS6525/GS6526 ( Green of South -South cooperation ) flight, because Hefei weather, crew
duty time of 14 hours and 30 minutes.
August 16 , Qi Bao Arts / Shiying Jun / Xiao Wei Executive GS6615 / GS6616 ( Tianjin Qing Fu Ching -chun ) flight, because the Air
Force activity reasons, duty time 14 hours 38 minutes .
August 17 , Wang Hongyu / Zhang Guohui / Li Xuchun perform GS6615/GS6616/GS7431/GS7432 ( Tianjin Tianjin Tsing Fuk Ching
Ching -chun ) flight because Qingdao thunderstorms, crew duty time of 14 hours 35 minutes .
August 19 , Yufeng Ming / Li Haocheng perform GS6629/GS6630 ( Nanxiang Wenxiang Nan ) flights due to weather conditions ,
duty time 14 hours 06 minutes .
August 23 , Zhaoshi Biao / Zhang Chao four executive GS6525/GS6526 ( Green of South -South cooperation ) flight, due to Jinan
regional flow control, crew duty time of 14 hours 25 minutes.
August 23 , Wu Bin / So Kwok / Geng Hui Executive GS6615/GS6616 / GS7431/GS7432 ( Tianjin Tianjin Tsing Fuk Ching Ching chun ) flight, due to Jinan regional flow control, crew duty time of 14 hours 22 minutes.
August 23 , LI Chun-liang / Zhang Jianxiong 2 executive GS6682/GS6681 ( South Hubei Tianjin E'nan ) flights , Yin Nanning
weather, Zhengzhou alternate flight crew duty time of 15 hours 20 minutes.
August 23 , Wang Hongyu / Gao Haitao perform GS6501/GS6502 / GS7463/GS7464 ( Tianjin Lian -chun, ZHENG Chang Zheng chun ) flight, due to flow control reasons Tianjin , crew duty time of 15 hours 50 minutes.

Page | xvii

August 25 , the former Asian bin / Wuwei Di execution GS7545/GS7546 ( Shaanxi compliance Asian Compliance Shaanxi ) flight, as
the aircraft in Zunyi failure , crew duty time of 15 hours .
August 25 , Wu Bin / Yang Guoqiang / Wang Wei 1 performs GS6615/GS6616 ( Tianjin Qing Fu Ching -chun ) flight, as the aircraft
in Fuzhou failure , crew duty time of 14 hours 20 minutes.
August 25 , Zou Jinsong / Jiang sought / Jin Ruichang perform GS6449 / GS6450 ( Camp Ningbo Ningbo Joan Joan ) flight, due
Ningbo weather, crew duty time of 16 hours 45 minutes.
August 26 , Tang Hongming / Ge Yang perform GS7579/GS7580 ( Nam Jin Yi Jinnan ) flights due to weather , Nanning alternate
flight crew duty time of 15 hours and 30 minutes.
August 26 , Zhang Guohui 1 / Cheng Hui Executive GS7545/GS7546 ( Shaanxi compliance Asian Compliance Shaanxi ) flights due
to weather , Haikou alternate flight crew duty time of 15 hours and 40 minutes.
August 28 , YU Chun-sheng perform GS6501/GS6502/GS7463/GS7464 ( Tianjin Lian Jin Zheng Chang Zheng -chun ) flight, since
Tianjin weather and aircraft fault , duty time 17 hours and 30 minutes.
August 28 , Du Bin execution GS6501/GS6502 / GS6597/GS6598 ( Tianjin Lian -chun Germany Lyud Tianjin ) flight, due Tianjin
weather, duty time 16 hours and 40 minutes.
August 28 , Yang Hailong perform GS6655/GS6656/GS6669/GS6670 ( Tianjin Shen Jin Yong -chun ) flight, because route weather,
alternate flight canceled after Weihai , duty time 15 hours and 30 minutes.
More units and individuals during the flight is not running properly and actively cooperate with departments, this situation, do its
utmost to protect the interests of the company . To set an example, recognition of advanced , according to the "Flight Depart ment
Management Manual " 7.2.2.3 provisions of the sectoral studies , decided:
Give informed recognition of the units and individuals , including August 5 Wang Qingyu unit, August 13 Chen Kang Ka unit, August
25 Zou Jinsong unit, August 28 at Du Bin Chun-sheng and secondary floating prize per month assessment 10 points , and the
remaining two floating units and individuals Month award , add 5 points reward. ( Including flight cadres , flying part-time staff ,
Henan Airlines pilots, foreign and Taiwanese pilots , F1/F2 does not participate in the co-pilot assessment plus floating Award
Application )
Hereby notified

Thats fatiguing just looking at it. Do you think there is an epidemic regarding proper
scheduling, airspace congestion and an inability for the company to tend to human needs as
pertains to pilots and human performance? If we had our say with an analysis here at FUD
central, it would involve the systematic practice mission pressing. But thats us.

Ed. note: There are provisions in the company policies for extended duty times for 3 fully qualified pilots on deck;
the problem with that is the SO is NOT fully qualified and the question of FOs qualification is seriously
doubted. The entire affair is seriously suspect.
Page | xviii

Appendix J
Gosh, I I really dont know what to say. I added the highlights I dont know why.

Safety Tips

Safety Notice
[ 201 4 ] 2 No.

On the strict implementation of the rest system of safety tips

All pilots:
Recently a group of employees out vicious accident occurred after the evening meal,
resulting in a greater impact. In view of this, the company recently disciplined implementation
schedule requirements will conduct surprise checks, special alerts pilots strictly comply with all
the requirements of rest system, especially the need clear the following points:
First, the flight crew members to perform tasks before 8 shall not engage in within hours
of entertainment, games, parties and other events affecting the normal rest, or severe fatigue state
posts to work.
Second, the implementation of flight before the 24- hour non-beverage alcohol pilots and
other personnel on duty or drink containing alcohol, and alcohol tests must consciously check the
bases with aviation medicine and the Bureau implementation. Alcohol tests do not match, or
intentionally obstruct escape alcohol test alcohol testing personnel, depending on the alcohol test
will be exceeded, the company will be processed in accordance with the relevant provisions of
the alcohol during duty.
Third, in addition to flight mission causes of the day, the pilot no later than 22:30 returns
resting place.
In addition, near the end, Tips-duty personal safety of the crew, to comply with traffic
rules, not drunk driving, not illegal, while strengthening self-discipline, to prevent participation
in sensitive activities as little as possible to participate in group sex parties, to safeguard their
lives and property safety.
Hereby Tips
Flight Quality Center
2014 January 13 Day
Applicable models: all expiration date:
Tianjin Airlines Company Limited Flight Department

2014 years 2 months 13 days

January 13, 2014 Print and distribute

Draft nuclear draft: Fan Zhongbin

(of India 0 copies)

Page | xix

Appendix K
You just cant make up this kind of shit. I mean COME ON!!! Hot tea anyone??? You
can order it from the galley without ANY problems, why make it on deck... Seriously, China?

Operation Notice
2013
A320

Notice on the Prohibition of Using Electric

Appliance such as Boiler in the Cockpit
A320
A320

2013 10 16

2013 10 16

To all A320 pilots:

There are three AC outlet in the cockpit of A320, in order to avoid any potential safety
hazard, the electric appliance such as boiler and humidifier that will endanger flight safety are
strictly prohibited.
Effective date: Oct. 16th, 2013 Expiration date: long-term effective
Hereby notified!
Flt. Dep. of TJA
Oct.16th,2013

Flt. Dep. of TJA

Written by: Pan Lixin Reviewed by: Zhang Song

2013 10 16
Issued on Oct. 16th, 2013
( 0 )
TT:0 copy
Page | xx

Appendix L
The following are samples of release documentation you will need from Tianjin Airlines.

This first letter is a little superfluous, we simply added it here for the sake of being thorough
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Page | xxii

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Make sure you get your logbook stamped AND SIGNED BY THE CHIEF PILOT in this fashion

To look authentic, these documents should have the full logo at the top left of the page
and the retarded bird shape large and faded out in the center. The paper should be A4 sized and
normal copy weight. The paper is not formal letterhead; instead it should look cheaply printed
out as though on a home computer color printer. By way of explaining the technical details of the
content in these records, please take note of the following:
The header date takes the format 1st Jan 2013
Name is listed Capt. First Middle Last
The date in the body takes the format Jan 1st of 2013
Normally, all related documents should bear the same header date as they will be issued on the
same day. The same applies to the signature which should likewise be the same. Copies of the
logo can be found easily using a Google image search.
Hereby notified!

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Appendix M

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Appendix N
This letter was sent out to the foreign captains by one contract agency after it was
announced that their payment would be late.
Dear captains:
I heard that Tianjin Airlines had explained to some of you as follows;
The CONTRACTOR didnt send the receipt on time, so TJA cannot transfer the part of
salary to CONTRACTOR on time.
This is not accurate at all.
Let me explain what happened and what is going on.
1. We sent the invoice for your July service fee to Tianjin Airlines in July.
2. We assume that they started the processing invoice.
3. We revised the invoice on August 5 and sent it to Tianjin Airlines after we received the
flight time for July. The reason of revising invoice is that the service fee for one pilots
had to be revised based on the actual flight time in July.
4. On August 9, we were requested by Tianjin Airlines to revise the invoice. The reason of
revising invoice is that the effective date for the new service fee for EMB145 was
changed from June 1 to July 9.
5. We sent the revised invoice to Tianjin Airlines on the same day (August 9.)
6. We push Tianjin Airlines to make payment to us immediately on August 10, 13, 14 and
15.
7. We received the first payment from Tianjin Airlines on August 16, which is for three
captains. We immediately made the wire-transfer to these three captains on the same day.
8. We received the second payment from the Tianjin Airlines on August 17, which is for
another three captains. We immediately made the wire-transfer to these three captains on
the same day.
9. Though six more captains are waiting for the payment, no bank activities on August 18
and 19 due to the week-end.
10. We didnt receive the payment today (August 20). We requested Tianjin Airlines to
show the bank confirmation of wire-transfer. What we were advised by Tianjin Airlines
today is that Tianjin Airlines didnt receive the wire-transfer confirmation letter from
their bank. Tianjin Airlines also advised us that CONTRACTOR would receive two
payments from Tianjin Airlines tomorrow.
11. Though we dont hear any detail of the above two payments, our July Service fee invoice
consists of five invoices, which are based on the fleet type basically. (Three invoices for
EMB190, one invoice for EMB145 and one invoice for A320)
Captains, I hope that you fully understand that CONTRACTOR never causes this
payment delay, after you carefully review the above explanation.
I hope that we can make wire-transfer to six captains very soon.
Again, we are sorry for your big inconvenience.
Best regards,
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Page | xxix

Appendix O
Here is the much vaunted and threatened QAR list. The numbers in here get adjusted
from time to time, but rest assured this state of flux is not a trend toward making the parameters
looser or more manageable. Enjoy it with some milk and cookies.

OK, Im already pissed off. This is an older version but its not really changed too much over the years.

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Heres the Autopilot QAR you thought I was kidding?

Were in the appendixes, you should know better by now!

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Appendix P
Here is the so-called case analysis for one of the runway excursions at Tianjin.

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the captain said, Oh FUCK, in Chinese.

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Appendix Q
Here is the company report for an altitude bust.

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Wow.

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Appendix R
Here is a company analysis regarding what they view is a serious windshear event.

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Appendix S
Here is a hodge-podge of safety notices that have nothing to do with safety and nothing to
do with reality. Thought you might find them interesting.

To all EMB145 pilots:

According to events that happened during recent operation in Tianshui airport, the notice
is delivered, all pilots are required to follow strictly.
I. Strictly follow approach chart, and descent following descent gradient, SDF altitude
constraint and normal altitude vs distance; also, PAPI should be concerned; if it is four white
lights and it is not possible to judge the glide path deviation and may cause landing beyond touch
down zone, go aound should be initiated, another approach should be attempted or diver to
alternate airport; if unable to land for the second approach, go around and divert. It is prohibited
to land aircraft outside touch down zone (200 m before PAPI or 100m after).
II. In case of terrain warning, disregard visual or not, recovery according to SOP
procedure; if it happens again on second approach, recovery and divert. According to HNA
Serious Error Criearia, if it is not out of standard operation procedure, terrain is not part of
errors, but recovery procedure must be conducted and assess the following actions.
Effective dateOct. 17th of 2013
Expiration dateOct. 17th of 2014
Hereby notified!

Flt. Dept of TJA

2013 10 17

Issued on Oct.17th of 2013

( 0 ) Written by: Liu Dawei

Checked by: Sun Sijian CC: (0 Copies)

Page | lxv

Safety Notice
2011 No.25

Notice about the Number of Unsafe Affairs

To all pilots:
About the unsafe affairs happened within group and our company, we hereby
notice for your attention:
1. After the aircraft taxis to the parking stand, if the flight crew dont get the
instruction or gesture from maintenance of the set block wheels, it is forbidden to
release the parking break, in case of aircraft hits the obstacles on the ground;
2. Before transit operation, flight crew must carefully confirm the flight materials
such as load sheet, dispatch sheet, flight plan etc. are accurate and complete, and verify
the load sheet is in accordance with actual load, in case of takeoff under load unbalance
or the actual load doesnt match with the load sheet, thus endangering the flight safety;
3. When refueling, flight crew should strictly operate in accordance with the
dispatch sheet, if there is any doubt, inform the on-duty dispatchers immediately to
determine the final dispatch fuel quantity together, and request load unit to revise the
load sheet in time;
4. When executing first flight, verify whether the approval route is in accordance
with flight route or not with on-duty dispatchers, in case of flight wrong route.
Hereby notice!
Flight Quality Center
July 4, 2011
Subject:
Abnormal
Safety Notice
Applicability: ALL
Deadline: long term
Flight Dept. Tianjin Airlines Co., Ltd. Issued on July 5, 2011
Written by: Zhang Liang Checked by: Lv Hongwei (TT: 0 copy)

Page | lxvi


Operation Notice
2013146

E145
Notice on E145 Turbulence and Stick Shaker Precaution and Recovery
To all EMB145 pilots,
Recently, intermittent activation of stick shaker due to turbulence occurs in our fleet during takeoff-climb
at low altitude and approaching. This notice is issued hereby to provide guidance to the handling method of similar
situation.
I.
Stick shaker is part of stall protection system. When the aircraft is proximate to one stall condition,
the system will activate stick shaker and disengage auto pilot. If no measure is taken and the aircraft is approaching
stall, stick pusher will actuate and command pitch down. It can be concluded from the inhibit logic of stick pusher
that the stick pusher is inoperative when the speed is above 200kt. Therefore, in normal flight procedures, stick push
only actuate during takeoff-climb and approach of critical flight phases.
II.
According to the above elaboration, stick shaker actuation means approaching stall during
approach and climb of initial takeoff. No recovery measures will lead to stick pusher actuation at low altitude and
safety will be endangered. So, in case of stick shaker actuation, handle according to stall recovery procedures.
III.
Through QAR data analysis on several stick shaker, all the activation of stick shaker occur in
severe turbulence or special geographic locations (e.g. 8 moles on No. 25 final, Urumchi). Crew should acquire the
weather condition during takeoff-climb and approach through meteorological report, crew report and notification
from controller. To activation of stick shaker, handle according to stall recovery procedures. When occurs during
approach, go around after handling and changing runway or delay approaching should be considered. If there is no
improvement or activation of stick shaker again, divert to alternative airport decisively.
IV.
In case of severe turbulence, adjust speed to turbulence speed, but do not chase the change of
speed and altitude. Keep wings leveled and right pitch attitude. Do not change pitch trim after establishing the trim
setting for penetration speed. Make an initial thrust setting for the target airspeed. Change thrust setting only in case
of unacceptable airspeed variation.
Effective Date: Dec. 3rd of 2013
Expired Date: Mar. 3rd of 2014
Hereby notified.

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(I).

Preflight Preparation Phase

In the preparation phase, the captain should study and discuss about the en-route weather condition with the
dispatcher to ensure the possibility, location, intensity and moving direction of high-altitude turbulence, front and
thunderstorm. In this way, the location and intensity of turbulence can be predicted.
Preflight coordination between flight crew and cabin crew: The captain briefly introduces the en-route
information, weather condition, including the duration and level of possible turbulence to the cabin crew and
coordinate on turbulence handling plan as well as commands and signals that should be used.
(II). Cruise Phase
Turn off the FASTEN SEAT BELT sign if there is no turbulence or predictable turbulence ahead when
reaching the cruise altitude.
In case of turbulence, all cockpit occupants should fasten all the seat belts (including shoulder belt) and
retract the sliding table (if installed) and adjust the seat to the best operating position. According to the turbulence
condition, the crew informs the cabin as follows:
1.Predictable Turbulence
1)

Predictable light turbulence

Flight crew turn on the FASTEN SEAT BELT sign and ring the bell once.
2) Predictable Moderate or Severe Turbulence

Flight crew turns on the FASTEN SEAT BELT sign and ring the bell twice. If possible, inform the cabin the
predictable turbulence level, occurring time and duration and make the captain announcement on PA according to
E145 Flight Crew Supplementary Materials.
2.Unpredictable Turbulence
1)
Unpredictable Light Turbulence
When the aircraft is under control, turn on FASTEN SEAT BELT sign and ring the bell once.
2)
Unpredictable Moderate/Severe Turbulence
When the aircraft is under control, turn on FASTEN SEAT BELT sign if possible and ring the bell twice.
Inform the cabin of the turbulence level and estimated duration through interphone and make the captain
announcement on PA according to E145 Flight Crew Supplementary Materials
3. After turbulence
After the turbulence, the flight crew turns off FASTEN SEAT BELT sign.
In case of passenger injured, the captain evaluates the situation to see if a diversion or return is necessary and
requests emergency medical assistant from the ground.

on Dec. 3rd of 2013

(TT: 0 copy)

2013 12 3 Flight Dep. of TJA

Issued

( 0 ) Written by: Liu Dawei Reviewed by: Sun Sijian

Page | lxviii

The 014 Hard Alert of Crew on January 5, 2011

Event Description
Flight date
Flight Number
Pilots
Name of Alert

January 5, 2011

Airplane Code

B-3035

GS7455

Flight Sect

TSN-TAO

LeftXXXXXX

OperatorXXXXXX

RightXu Weilei

ObserverDu Wenqi

014-High

bank

angle

above 400FT
Hard alert35deg2s

Standards

phase 3,4,5.

Exceedance
Classification

36 degree
Quality

Feedback of Pilot
I think I remember this. ATC had a traffic conflict and told us to turn immediately to avoid; I used
the maximum bank angle to assure we did not have loss of separation with another aircraft. Shortly
thereafter ATC told us to turn back to final and I again used the maximum bank angle to turn back to final
so that we did not need more vectors and waste fuel. I feel ATC was wrong and did a bad job. My interest
was for safety and operational efficiency. I will pay very close attention to bank angle in the future.
Please let me know any more information you need.
XXXXXX

Analysis of Alert
Weather status

None.

Airplane status

Normal.
The data shows: The AP was disengaged during flight. Pilots
controlled aircraft to turn and descend by hand. The data frame 2665
shows that the aircraft started to have left bank angle until the bank angle

Operation Factors

was 0 at the data frame 2752. The maximum of bank angle was 27 deg
during the term, and the heading turn from 179 deg to 98 deg.
The data frame 2753 shows that the aircraft started to have right bank
angle until the bank angle was 0 at the data frame 2801. The heading turn
from 98 deg to 180 deg during the term.
The right bank angle of aircraft was excessive, which continued 17s
from the data frame 2768 to 2784, the maximum was 36 deg.

CRM Factors

None.

Airplane Factors

None.

Environment
Factors

The ATCs instruction made pilots to turn in order to avoid

conflict, and then turn back.

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This Page Intentionally Blank

Because its finally over.

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