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ZONDERVAN
Let. It. Go. Study Guide
Copyright 2012 by Karen Ehman
This title is also available as a Zondervan ebook. Visit www.zondervan.com/ebooks.
Requests for information should be addressed to:
Zondervan, Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530
ISBN 978-0-310-68454-1
Scripture quotations marked AMP are taken from The Amplified Bible. Copyright 1954,
1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved. Used by
permission.
Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version,
copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked HCSB are taken from the Holman Christian Standard Bible.
Copyright 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003 by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission. Holman Christian Standard Bible, Holman CSB, and HCSB are federally registered trademarks of Holman Bible Publishers.
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright
1982, by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers in this book are
offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by
Zondervan, nor does Zondervan vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the
life of this book.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopy,
recording, or any other except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior
permission of the publisher.
Cover design and illustrations: Faceout Studios
Interior design: Sarah Johnson and David Conn
Printed in the United States of America
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Contents

How to Use This Guide 7

Session 1
God Called and Hed Like His Job Back 11
Session 2
Combating the Me First Mentality 25
Session 3
Pursuing the Appearance of Perfection 37
Session 4
Practicing the Art of Soul Control 51
Session 5
When Comparisons Lead to Over-Control 63
Session 6
Fixing Your Eyes on the Attitude Indicator 75
Scripture Memory Verses 87

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How to Use This Guide

Group Size
The Let. It. Go. video curriculum is designed to be experienced in a
group setting such as a Bible study, Sunday school class, or any small
group gathering. After viewing each video together, members will participate in a group discussion. Ideally, discussion groups should be no
larger than twelve people. You will notice that occasionally there are portions of the discussion where you are encouraged to break into smaller
clusters of three to six people each for more heart-to-heart sharing and
Scripture study. These times are clearly noted in the guide.

Materials Needed
Each participant should have her own study guide, which includes video
outline notes, directions for activities, and discussion questions, as well
as a reading plan and personal studies to deepen learning between sessions. Participants are also strongly encouraged to have a copy of the
Let. It. Go. book. Reading the book alongside the video curriculum
provides even deeper insights that make the journey richer and more
meaningful (also, a few of the questions pertain to material covered in
the book).

Timing
The time notations for example (16 minutes) indicate the actual
time of video segments and the suggested time for each activity or
discussion.
For example:
Individual Activity: What Is God Saying to Me?? (3 minutes)

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LET. IT. GO. STUDY GUIDE

Adhering to the suggested times will enable you to complete each

session in one hour. If you have additional time, you may wish to allow
more time for discussion and activities, thereby expanding your groups
meeting time to an hour and fifteen minutes or an hour and a half.

Facilitation
Each group should appoint a facilitator who is responsible for starting
the video and for keeping track of time during discussions and activities. Facilitators may also read questions aloud and monitor discussions,
prompting participants to respond and ensuring that everyone has the
opportunity to participate.

Between-Sessions Personal Study

Maximize the impact of the course with additional study between
group sessions. Carving out about two hours total for personal study
between meeting times will enable you to complete both the book and
between-session studies by the end of the course. For each session, you
may wish to complete the personal study all in one sitting or to spread
it out over a few days (for example, working on it a half-hour a day on
four different days that week). PLEASE NOTE: If you are unable to
finish (or even start!) your between-sessions personal study, still attend
the group study video session. We are all busy and life happens. You are
still wanted and welcome at class even if you dont have your homework done.

Scripture Memory
Each study includes a key Scripture verse that highlights the topic of the
session theme. If you wish to maximize your learning experience, you
may attempt to memorize these verses. In order to assist you with this
goal, all six verses are printed in the back of the study guide.
You may photocopy this page on paper or card stock and then cut
out the verses. (You really creative and crafty gals may even want to
use scrapbooking paper to layer them on top of some decorative paper).
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How to Use This Guide

Then keep them in a handy place perhaps your car, purse, or laptop
bag. You can practice memorizing them when you have times of waiting
in the car pool line or at the doctors office. Or, you may wish to post
them at your kitchen sink or on your bathroom mirror where you will
see them each day. Laminating them will help to keep them from getting ruined if they get splashed.
It may be helpful to have the group facilitator inquire if any participants are attempting to memorize the key verses. Perhaps those
members will want to show up five minutes early (or stay after for a few
minutes) to practice reciting them to each other.

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SESSION 1

God Called and Hed

Like His Job Back

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other

beast of the field that the Lord God had made.
He said to the woman, Did God actually say . . . ?
(Genesis 3:1 ESV)

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Video: God Called and Hed Like His Job Back

(16 minutes)
Play the video teaching segment for session one. As you watch, record any
thoughts or concepts that stand out to you in the notes section below.
Notes
Women have been wired from birth to control. It seems we all inherited
the bossy gene.

At the root of why we over-control is that we dont trust God. We think

we know better than he does just what is best for us.

How Eve over-controlled in Genesis 3:1 13:

She was told she could eat of any of the trees in the beautiful
Garden of Eden. Well, except for one.
She listened to Satans deceptive and crafty words, Did God
actually say . . . ?
She took matters into her own hands.
As a result, Eve was tempted with wrong theology.

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LET. IT. GO. STUDY GUIDE

Cat-and-Dog Theology:
A dog says to its master: You love me. You feed me. You scratch my
neck and rub my belly. You provide for my every need. WOW! You
must be God.
A cat says to its master: You love me. You feed me. You scratch my
neck and rub my belly. You provide for my every need. WOW! I must
be God.

This study will feel unfamiliar. Its goes against how we are wired as
women to stop running the show and start walking in faith. Although
it is not comfortable, it is possible.

Group Discussion (10 minutes)

Take a few minutes to discuss what you just watched.
1. What part of the video teaching had the most impact on you?

2. Can you think of an example when a little girl or teenaged young

lady exhibited the bossy gene? Describe the situation.

3. Brainstorm as a group common areas of life where women love to

call the shots. Rattle them off popcorn style. Ready? Go!

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God Called and Hed Like His Job Back

Cluster Group Discussion (12 minutes)

If your group is comprised of more than twelve members, consider completing this activity in smaller groups of three to six people each.
Turn to Genesis 2:15 3:13 and have someone read it aloud. Collaborate
to find answers to the following questions as you think about the person
of Eve:
List all of the things that God had provided for Eve in the garden.

List the worries, if any, Eve would have had living in Paradise.

Using the version of the Bible you have with you, write out any key
words from the description of the serpent in this passage.

Next, jot down any key words that the serpent said to Eve in their
encounter.

What do you learn from recording these particular words and

phrases?

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LET. IT. GO. STUDY GUIDE

Group Discussion (12 minutes)

Gather back together as one large group and answer the following questions.
4. What is one insight you gained from the small group activity about
Eves life and her encounter with Satan?

5. In many respects, we are modern-day Eves. God has already provided what we need in life, yet Satan still tempts us with wrong
thinking. In what areas of life do you most find women questioning
Gods Word?

6. In the video segment, Karen described the definitions of Cat-andDog Theology she learned from the Unveiling Glory ministry. What
do you think of these two opposite ways of thinking about God?

7. What makes it so difficult in todays culture to have the proper doglike theology in life where we allow God to be God and stop trying
to do his job for him?

Group Activity (5 minutes)

Time to get the blood circulating!
Near the end of the video segment, Karen asked you to fold your
arms the way it felt natural and then to try to fold them in the opposite
direction. What did you think of this experiment? Did it feel foreign to
you to fold your arms the opposite way?
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God Called and Hed Like His Job Back

As a group, do the experiment together again. First, fold your arms

the natural-feeling way again. Then, fold them the opposite way once
more. Repeat that action quickly five more times. Does it get any easier
or do you still have to concentrate as you do it each time?
Leave your arms folded in the opposite, unnatural-feeling position
while you answer this next question:
Why does it feel so foreign at times to not be in control? To keep our
thoughts to ourselves or hold our opinion? To let someone else in our
family or at work make a decision without our input?

(Okay. You can put your arms any way youd like to now!)

Individual Activity: What Is God Saying to Me?

(3 minutes)
Complete this activity on your own.
Take a mental inventory of your life. In what areas do you most
struggle with wanting your own way or desiring to be in control? Check
any that apply:
Work situations
Husbands behavior
Kids behavior
The appearance of the house
Extended family situations
Others opinions of me
What happens in politics
The way others drive
How my family members look or dress
My appearance
Financial matters
Other ________________
cont.
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LET. IT. GO. STUDY GUIDE

Now, go back and put a star before the one or two areas where you
most feel God may be prompting you to let it go and trust him.

Closing Prayer (2 minutes)

Have one person close in prayer. Then, get ready to learn more in your
between-sessions personal study before meeting for session two!

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Between-Sessions Personal Study

Read and Learn
Read chapters 1 2 of the Let. It. Go. book. Use the space below
to record any insights you discovered or questions you may want to
bring to the next group session.

Study and Reflect

1. Has there ever been a time in your life when, due to sickness or
other circumstances, you were not able to be in control of normal
day-to-day activities? If so, describe how that felt.

2. Women wear many hats. We may be a wife, mother, employee,

daughter, volunteer, church member, and friend.
Think for a moment about your week, keeping in mind those
many hats. List them in column one on the chart on the following page.
Next, go back and very briefly summarize the primary tasks/
responsibilities associated with each hat. Record these in
column two.
Finally, on a scale of 1 to 10 (with 1 being never and 10
being always), how do you rate in each area when it comes
to praying to God before launching out to get your tasks accomplished? Record your rating in column three.
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I am a:

So, this week I need to:

Ex.: Mother

Help with homework, pack

lunches, carpool

Ex.: Part-time employee

Work 20 hours

Rating

What do you learn from the above exercise?

While our personalities and methods may vary, our goal is often
the same. And Id wager at the root of our problem are exactly the
same two issues I unearthed while confined to my sofa of sickness.
1. We want to feel indispensable.
2. We want to get our own way.
Although these are two common threads, an even stronger similar
strand is often woven deep into our Ill do it my way souls.
We dont really trust God.
Let. It. Go., page 22
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3. Circle the statement which most reflects why you most often try to
control.
I want to feel indispensable.

I want to get my own way.

Reread the statement you circled. Now, explain why you desire
for that statement to be true in your life.

4. Which of the following types of controller (described in more

detail on pages 20 22 of the Let. It. Go. book) do you find most
difficult to deal with?
The overtly controlling, loud, and outspoken woman
The sweet, soft-spoken, but manipulative saint
The enabler who constantly covers for others so her family
looks good
The victim who controls by making you feel sorry for her
The people-pleaser who controls because you owe her favors
Why do you feel it is hard to deal with this type of controller?

Now (be honest), which one (or more) of these roles do you sometimes assume? Write it below.

Why do you attempt to control in this way? (Example: my personality type is geared toward this type of control, it has worked for
me in the past, etc.)

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So, when it comes to a purchase, an activity, an event, a friendship, a hobby, or a pastime, I ask myself, Is this a tool, a toy, or
a tangent?
Let. It. Go., page 39
5. In Let. It. Go., Karen encourages us to ask ourselves with each
purchase, activity, event, friendship, hobby, or pastime, Is this a
tool, a toy, or a tangent? A tool helps us effectively live life. A toy
helps us relax and enjoy life. A tangent knocks us off course and
causes us to waste time, energy, and/or money on a trivial activity that does nothing for our life. List any areas of your life that, if
left unchecked, can easily morph into a tangent. (Example: social
media, television, scrapbooking, etc.)

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6. Look up the following Bible passages. After each, write how it

speaks to the concept of time-wasting tangents.
Psalm 31:14 15

Romans 12:1 2

Ephesians 5:15 17

Colossians 3:17

Now, based on what you just read in Scripture, what are some
questions you can ask yourself that will help you to avoid timewasting tangents in your life?

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Scripture Memory Verse of the Week

Each week of our study will feature a verse to ponder and even
memorize if you desire. For your convenience, all verses are printed
out in the back of this study guide. You may photocopy that page on
cardstock or colored paper. Then, cut out the verses and place them
in a prominent place purse, dashboard, desk, kitchen sink where
you can read and study them regularly. (You may want to laminate
them if posting them at your kitchen sink. Been there. Splashed that.)
Here is our verse for this week:
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field
that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, Did God
actually say . . . ?
Genesis 3:1 (ESV)

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About Proverbs 31
Ministries

f you were inspired by Let. It. Go. and desire to deepen your own
personal relationship with Jesus Christ, I encourage you to connect with Proverbs 31 Ministries. Proverbs 31 Ministries exists to be
a trusted friend who will take you by the hand and walk by your side,
leading you one step closer to the heart of God through:
Encouragement for Today, free online daily devotions
The P31 Woman monthly magazine
Daily radio program
Books and resources
Dynamic speakers with life-changing messages
Online communities
Gather and Grow groups
To learn more about Proverbs 31 Ministries or to inquire about having Karen Ehman speak at your event:
Call 1-877-P31-HOME
or visit www.proverbs31.org/speakers/

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.proverbs31.org

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Let. It. Go.

How to Stop Running the Show
and Start Walking in Faith
Karen Ehman
Many women are wired to control. Youre
the ones who make sure the house is clean,
the meals are prepared, the beds are
made, the children are dressed, and everyone gets to work, school, and other activities on time.
But trying to control everything can be exhausting, and it can also
cause friction with your friends and family.
This humorous, yet thought-provoking book guides you as you
discover for yourself the freedom and reward of living a life out of
control, in which you allow God to be seated in the rightful place in
your life. Armed with relevant biblical and current examples (both
to emulate and to avoid), doable ideas, new thought patterns, and
practical tools to implement, Let. It. Go. will gently lead you out of
the land of over-control and into a place of quiet trust.

Available in stores and online!

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