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Anger - How To Live With or Without It Ellis

The document discusses how irrational beliefs can lead to emotions like anger and anxiety. It provides examples of common irrational statements and beliefs that can contribute to these feelings. The A-B-C model is also explained, where A is an activating event, B is one's belief system, and C is the emotional consequence.

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447 views2 pages

Anger - How To Live With or Without It Ellis

The document discusses how irrational beliefs can lead to emotions like anger and anxiety. It provides examples of common irrational statements and beliefs that can contribute to these feelings. The A-B-C model is also explained, where A is an activating event, B is one's belief system, and C is the emotional consequence.

Uploaded by

Zsu Sajnár
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Mary Bast, Out of the Box Coaching, www.breakoutofthebox.

com

From Anger: How to Live With and Without It by Albert Ellis


A+B=C A = Activating event or experience B = Belief system C = Emotional or behavioral consequence D = Disputing and debating

Example: Activating Event = Someone has ignored or discounted you. Rational Belief = "I find her action deplorable and unfortunate." Irrational Belief = "How awful! She should not, must not treat me in that manner." Appropriate Consequence = Frustration and displeasure. Inappropriate Consequence = Anger and rage. Disputing and Debating = Detect your irrational beliefs; then begin disputing and debating them: ask questions that challenge your interpretations or beliefs regarding people's treatment of you (see page 2 for examples). Cognitive Effect = "I can see no reason why she accept my ideas even though I would definitely prefer it; or, even simpler, I wish shed accepted my ideas. Behavioral Effect = Loss of anger, relief, and return to the appropriate consequence (minimized feelings of frustration and displeasure). *********** Four main irrational statements about others (leads to anger): 1. "How awful of you to..." 2. "I can't stand your having..." 3. "You should not, must not..." 4. "You're a terrible person because..." Four main irrational statements about self (leads to anxiety): 1. "How awful if I can't..." 2. "I couldn't stand my own poor methods..." 3. "I should have the ability to..." 4. "If I don't cope, I'm inferior and deserve what I get..." The same pattern of thinking about conditions can lead to depression.
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Mary Bast, Out of the Box Coaching, www.breakoutofthebox.com

Common Irrational Ideas: 1. I must do well and win the approval of others for my performances, or else I will rate as a rotten person; I should: - Have love, approval, - Be thoroughly competent, - Avoid unpleasantness, - Never encounter danger, - Always think, feel, behave as in the past, - Have a high degree of order and certainty, - Rely on other people, - Understand the nature and secrets of the universe, - Never make myself depressed, anxious, ashamed, or angry, - Never question authorities. 2. Others must treat me considerately and kindly in exactly the way I want them to; if not, they should be blamed, damned, punished; they should: - Be fair, considerate, - Never be incompetent, stupid, - Not avoid responsibilities, - Not unjustly criticize me. 3. I must get everything I want when I want it, quickly and easily, and never what I don't want. - I need what I want. - I must control or change fearsome people or things. - I need immediate comfort. - I can't stand it if others act badly. - Justice, fairness, equality, and democracy must prevail. - I must find correct and perfect solutions to my own and others' problems. - I must remain a helpless victim. - It's completely unfair to die. - My life must have unusual meaning or purpose. - I can't stand the discomfort of anxiety, depression, guilt, shame, or other emotional upset.

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