The Forever Girl by Alexander McCall Smith
The Forever Girl by Alexander McCall Smith
The Forever Girl by Alexander McCall Smith
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Te new parents employed a Jamaican nurse for their child. Tere
was plenty of money for something like this there is no income
tax on Grand Cayman and the salaries are generous. David was
already having the prospect of a partnership within three or four
years dangled in front of him, something that would have taken
at least a decade elsewhere. On the island there was nothing
much to spend money on, and employing domestic sta at least
mopped up some of the cash. In fact, they were both slightly
embarrassed by the amount of money they had. As a Scot, David
was frugal in his instincts and disliked the aunting of wealth;
Amanda shared this. She had come from a milieu where displays
of wealth were not unusual, but she had never felt comfortable
about that. It struck her that by employing this Jamaican woman
they would be recycling money that would otherwise simply sit
in an account somewhere.
More seasoned residents of the island laughed at this. Of
course you have sta why not? Half the year its too hot to do
anything yourself, anyway. Dont think twice about it.
Teir advertisement in the Cayman Compass drew two replies.
One was from a Honduran woman who scowled through the
interview, which did not last long.
Resentment, conded David. Tats the way it goes.
What are we in her eyes? Rich. Privileged. Maybe we wont nd
anybody
Can we blame her?
David shrugged. Probably not. But can you have somebody
who hates you in the house?
Te following day they interviewed a Jamaican woman called
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Th e Fo r e v e r Gi r l
Margaret. She asked a few questions about the job and then
looked about the room. I dont see no baby, she said. I want
to see the baby.
Tey took her into the room where Clover was lying asleep
in her cot. Te air conditioner was whirring, but there was that
characteristic smell of a nursery that drowsy, milky smell of an
infant.
Lord, just look at her! said Margaret. Te little angel.
She stepped forward and bent over the cot. Te child, now
aware of her presence, struggled up through layers of sleep to
open her eyes.
Little darling! exclaimed Margaret, reaching forward to pick
her up.
Shes still sleepy, said Amanda. Maybe
But Margaret had her in her arms now and was planting kisses
on her brow. David glanced at Amanda, who smiled weakly.
He turned to Margaret. When can you start?
Right now, she said. I start right now.
Tey had not asked Margaret anything about her circumstances
at the interview such as it was and it was only a few days later
that she told them about herself.
I was born in Port Antonio, she said. My mother worked
in a hotel, and she worked hard, hard; always working, I tell
you. Always. Tere were four of us me, my brother and two
sisters. My brothers legs didnt work too well and he started to
get mixed up with people who dealt in drugs and he went the
way they all go. My older sister was twenty then. She worked
in an o ce in town a good job, and she did it well because
she had learned shorthand and everything and never forgot
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anything. Ten one day she just didnt come home. No letter,
no message, no nothing, and we sat there and wondered what to
think. Nobody saw her, nobody heard from her just nothing.
Ten they found her three days later. She was run over, thrown
o the road into the bush, I tell you, and the person who did it
just drive o just drive o like that and say nothing. How
can a person do something like that to another person run over
them like they were a dog or something? I think of her every
day, I cant help it every day and wonder why the Lord let that
happen. I know he has his reasons, but sometimes its hard for us
to work out what they are.
Ten somebody said to me that I could come to Cayman
with her. Tis woman she was a sort of aunt to me, and she
arranged it with some people at the church, she did. I came over
and met my husband, whos Caymanian, one hundred per cent.
He is a very good man who xes government fridges. He says
that I dont have to work, but I say that I dont want to sit in the
house all day and wait for him to come back from xing fridges.
So thats why Ive taken this job, you see. Tats why.
Amanda listened to this and thought about how suering
could be compressed into a few simple words: Ten one day she
just didnt come home ... But so could happiness: a good man who
fxes fridges
Tere was a second child, Billy, who arrived after a complicated
pregnancy. Amanda went to Miami on the last day the airline
would let her y, and then stayed until they induced labour.
Margaret came with David and Clover to pick her up at the
airport. She covered the new infant with kisses, just as she had
done with Clover.
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Hes going to be very strong, she said. You can tell it straight
away with a boy child, you know. You look at him and you say:
this one is going to be very strong and handsome.
Amanda laughed. Surely you cant. Not yet. You can hope for
that, but you cant tell.
Margaret shook her head. But I can. I can always tell.
She was full of such information. She could predict when a
storm was coming. You watch the birds, you see. Te birds
they know because they feel it in their feathers. So you watch
them they tell you when a storm is on the way. Every time.
And she could tell whether a sh was infected with ciguatera
by a simple test she had learned from Jamaicans who claimed
it never let them down. You have to watch those reef sh, she
explained. If they have the illness and you eat them then you get
really sick. But you know who can tell whether the sh is sick?
Ants. You put the sh down on the ground and you watch the
ants. If the sh is clean, theyre all over it if its got ciguatera,
then they walk all the way round that sh, just like this, on their
toes they wont touch it, those ants: they know. Teyve got
sensitive noses. You try it. Youll see.
Amanda said to David: It could have been very dierent for
Margaret.
What could?
Life. Everything. If she had had the chance of an education.
He was silent. Its not too late. She could go to night school.
Tere are courses.
Amanda thought this was unlikely. She works here all day.
And then theres Eddie to look after, and those dogs they have.
Its her life. Tats what she wants.
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She did not think so. Do you think people actually want
their lives? Or do you think they just accept them? Tey take the
life theyre given, I think. Or most of them do.
He had been looking at a sheaf of papers gures, of course
and he put them aside. We are getting philosophical, arent we?
Tey were sitting outside, by the pool. Te water reected the
sky, a shimmer of light blue. She said: Well, these things are
important. Otherwise
Yes?
Otherwise we go through life not really knowing what we
want, or what we mean. Tats not enough.
No?
She realised that she had never talked to him about these
things, and now that they were doing so, she suddenly saw that he
had nothing to say about such questions. It was an extraordinary
moment, and one that later she would identify as the precise
point at which she fell out of love with him.
He picked up his papers. A paper clip that had been keeping
them together had slipped out of position, and now he
manoeuvred it back. Margaret? he said.
What about her?
Will she have children of her own?
She did not answer him at rst, and he shot her an interested
glance.
No? he said. Has she spoken to you?
She had, having done so one afternoon, but only after
extracting a promise that she would tell nobody. Tere had been
shame, and tears. Two ectopic pregnancies had put paid to her
hopes of a family. One of them had almost killed her, such had
been the loss of blood. Te other had been detected earlier and
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had been quietly dealt with.
He pressed her to answer. Well?
Yes. I said I wouldnt discuss it.
Even with me?
She looked at him. Te thought of what she had just felt the
sudden and unexpected insight that had come to her appalled
her. It was just as a loss of faith must be for a priest; that moment
when he realises that he no longer believes in God and that
everything he has done up to that point his whole life, really
has been based on something that is not there; the loss, the
waste of time, the self-denial, now all for nothing. Was this what
happened in a marriage? She had been fond of him she had
imagined that she had loved him but now, quite suddenly and
without any provoking incident, it was as if he were a stranger to
her a familiar stranger, yes, but a stranger nonetheless.
She closed her eyes. She had suddenly seen him as an outsider
might see him as a tall, well-built man who was used to
having everything his way, because people who looked like him
often had that experience. But he might also be seen as a rather
unexciting man, a man of habit, interested in gures and money
and not much else. She felt dizzy at the thought of of what?
Years of emptiness ahead? Clover was eight now, and Billy was
four. Fifteen years?
She answered his question. I promised her I wouldnt
mention it to anyone, but I assume that she didnt intend you
not to know.
He agreed. People think that spouses know everything. And
they usually do, dont they? People dont keep things from their
spouse.
She thought there might have been a note of criticism in what
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he said, even of reproach, but he was smiling at her. And she was
asking herself at that moment whether she would ever sleep with
another man, while staying with David. If she would, then who
would it be?
No, she said. I mean yes. I mean they dont. She probably
thinks you know.
He tucked the papers into a folder. Poor woman. She loves
kids so much and she cant Unfair, isnt it?
Tere was an old sea-grape tree beside the pool and a breeze,
cool from the sea, was making the leaves move; just a little. She
noticed the shadow of the leaves on the ground shifting, and
then returning to where it was before. George Collins. If anyone,
it would be with him.
She felt a surge of self-disgust, and found herself blushing. She
turned away lest he should notice, but he was getting up from
his reclining chair and had begun to walk over towards the pool.
Im going to have a dip, he said. Its getting uncomfortable.
I hate this heat.
He took o his shirt; he was already wearing swimming trunks.
He slipped out of his sandals and plunged into the pool. Te
splash of the water was as in that Hockney painting, she thought;
as white against the blue, as surprised and as sudden as that.
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The Forever Girl
BY ALEXANDER MCCALL SMI TH
Amanda and her husband, David, feel fortunate to be raising their son
and daughter in the close-knit community of ex-pats on Grand Cay-
man Island, an idyllic place for children to grow up. Their firstborn,
Sally, has always listened to her heart, deciding at age four that she
would rather be called Clover and then, a few years later, falling in love
with her best friend, James.
But the comforting embrace of island life can become claustrophobic
for adults, especially when they are faced with difficult situations. At
the same time that Clover falls in love with James, Amanda realizes
that she has fallen out of love with David . . . and that she is interested
in someone else. While Amanda tries to navigate the new path her
heart is leading her down, Clover finds, much to her dismay, that
James seems to be growing away from her. And when they leave the
island for boarding schoolJames to England and Clover to Scot-
landshe feels she may have lost him for good. As Clover moves on to
university, seldom seeing James but always carrying him in her heart,
she finds herself torn between a desire to go forward with her life and
the old feelings that she just cant shed.
Through the lives of Clover and James, and Amanda and David,
acclaimed storyteller Alexander McCall Smith tells a tale full of love
and heartbreak, humor and melancholy, that beautifully demonstrates
the myriad ways in which love shapes our lives.
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