Listening
Listening
Listening
Listening is key to all effective communication, without the ability to listen effectively messages are easily misunderstood communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.
Listening is so important that many top employers give regular listening skills training for their employees. This is not surprising when you consider that good listening skills can lead to: better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work. Many successful leaders and entrepreneurs credit their success to effective listening skills. Richard Branson frequently quotes listening as one of the main factors behind the success of Virgin. Effective listening is a skill that underpins all positive human relationships, spend some time thinking about and developing your listening skills they are the building blocks of success.
See our pages: Employability Skills and Customer Service Skills for more examples of the importance of listening.
Good listening skills also have benefits in our personal lives, including:
A greater number of friends and social networks, improved self-esteem and confidence, higher grades at school and in academic work and even better health and general wellbeing. Studies have shown that, whereas speaking raises blood pressure, listening brings it down.
The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention. Rachel Naomi Remen
Based on the research of: Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L. and Proctor, R. (2001) Interplay: the process of interpersonal communicating (8th edn), Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt.
Effective listening requires concentration and the use of your other senses - not just hearing the words spoken.
Listening is not the same as hearing and in order to listen effectively you need to use more than just your ears.
1. Stop Talking
If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would have two tongues and one ear. Mark Twain.
Don't talk, listen. When somebody else is talking listen to what they are saying, do not interrupt, talk over them or finish their sentences for them. Stop, just listen. When the other person has finished talking you may need to clarify to ensure you have received their message accurately.
4. Remove Distractions
Focus on what is being said: dont doodle, shuffle papers, look out the window, pick your fingernails or similar. Avoid unnecessary interruptions. These behaviours disrupt the listening process and send messages to the speaker that you are bored or distracted.
5. Empathise
Try to understand the other persons point of view. Look at issues from their perspective. Let go of preconceived ideas. By having an open mind we can more fully empathise with the speaker. If the speaker says something that you disagree with then wait and construct an argument to counter what is said but keep an open mind to the views and opinions of others. See our page: What is Empathy?
6. Be Patient
A pause, even a long pause, does not necessarily mean that the speaker has finished. Be patient and let the speaker continue in their own time, sometimes it takes time to formulate what to say and how to say it. Never interrupt or finish a sentence for someone.