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Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For Youh

Sister Mary explains various religious topics in a blunt and matter-of-fact way. She states that people who ate meat on Fridays when it was a sin are likely in hell, unless they confessed. She describes Sodom as the place where homosexuality and bestiality occurred in the Bible, and claims modern day Sodoms include large cities. She then discusses her large family, many of whom became priests, nuns or were institutionalized, and her mother's mental illness.

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4K views1 page

Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All For Youh

Sister Mary explains various religious topics in a blunt and matter-of-fact way. She states that people who ate meat on Fridays when it was a sin are likely in hell, unless they confessed. She describes Sodom as the place where homosexuality and bestiality occurred in the Bible, and claims modern day Sodoms include large cities. She then discusses her large family, many of whom became priests, nuns or were institutionalized, and her mother's mental illness.

Uploaded by

ArianaLambert
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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SISTER MARY IGNATIUS EXPLAINS IT ALL FOR YOU

by Christopher Durang
Sister Mary
(reads) Are you ever sorry you became a nun? I am never sorry I became a nun. (reads) It
used to be a mortal sin to eat meat on Fridays, and now it isn't. Does that mean that
people who ate meat on Fridays back when it was a sin are in hell? Or what? People who
ate meat on Fridays backwhen it was a mortal sin are indeed in hell if they did not
confess the sin before they died. If they confessed it, they are not in hell, unless they did
not confess some other mortal sin they committed. People who would eat meat on
Fridays back in the 50s tended to be the sort whowould commit other mortal sins, so on a
guess, I bet many of them are in hell for other sins, even if they did confess the eating of
meat. (reads) What exactly went on in Sodom? Who asked me this question? I'm going to
talk about Sodom a bit. To answer your question, Sodom is where they committed acts of
homosexuality and bestiality in the Old Testament, and God, infuriated by this, destroyed
them all in one fell swoop. Modern day Sodoms are New York City, San Francisco,
Amsterdam, Los Angeles,... well, basically anywhere where the population in over
50,000. The only reason that God has not destroyed these modern day Sodoms is that
Catholic nuns and priests live in these cities, and God does not wish to destroy them. He
does, however, give these people body lice and hepatitis. It's so hard to know why God
allows wickedness to
flourish. I guess it's because God wants man to choose goodness freely of his own free
will; sometimes one wonders if free will is worth all the trouble if there's going to be so
much evil and unhappiness, but God knows best, presumably. If it were up to me, I might
be tempted to wipe out cities and civilizations, but luckily for New York and Amsterdam,
I'm not God. (reads) Tell us some more about your family. I had 26 brothers and sisters.
From my family 5 became priests, 7 became nuns, 3 became brothers, and the rest of
them were institutionalized. My mother was also institutionalized shortly after she started
thinking my father was Satan. Some days when we were little, we'd come home and not
be able to find our mother and we'd pray to St. Anthony to help us find her. Then when
wed find her with her head in the oven, we would pray to St. Jude to make her sane
again. Are all our prayers answered? Yes, they are; what people who ask that question
often dont realize is that sometimes the answer to our prayer is "no." Dear God, please
make my mother not be crazy. Gods answer: no. Dear God, please let me recover form
cancer. Gods answer: no. Dear God, please take away this toothache. Gods answer:
alright, but youre going to be run over by a car. But every bad thing that happens to us,
God has a special reason for. God is the good shepherd, we are His flock. And if God is
grouchy or busy with more important matters, his beloved mother Mary is always there to
intercede for us. I shall now sing the Hail Mary in Latin.

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