Why people lie and how to tell if they are?

There are liars, and then there are LIARS. Dr. Gail Saltz explains why they do it and how to spot one
Everybody lies. It may only be white lies, but everyone tells lies or omits the truth sometimes. We start
lying at around age 4 to 5 when children gain an awareness of the use and power of language. This first lying
is not malicious, but rather to find out, or test, what can manipulated in a childs environment. Eventually
children begin to use lying to get out of trouble or get something they want.
White lies, those concocted to protect someones feelings, are not a big deal at all. The person, however,
who seems to feel compelled to lie about both the small and large stuff has a problem. We often call these
folks pathological liars (which is a description, not a diagnosis). They lie to protect themselves, look good,
gain financially or socially and avoid punishment. Quite often the person who has been deceived knows that
this type of liar has to a certain extent deluded him or herself and is therefore to be somewhat pitied.
A much more troubling group is those who lie a lot and knowingly for personal gain. These people may
have a diagnosis called antisocial personality disorder, also known as being a sociopath, and often get into
scrapes with the law. Lying often gets worse with the passage of time. When you get away with a lie it often
impels you to continue your deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves perpetrating more untruths to
cover themselves. We hold different people to different standards when it comes to telling the truth. We
expect, for example, less honesty from politicians than from scientists. We have a vision of purity about
those who are doing research, while we imagine that politicians will at least shade the truth about
themselves in order to get elected.
Why do we dislike liars, especially sociopaths, so much? Its a matter of trust. When a person lies, they have
broken a bond an unspoken agreement to treat others as we would like to be treated. Serious deception
often makes it impossible for us to trust another person again. Because the issue of trust is on the line,
coming clean about the lie as soon as possible is the best way to mend fences. If the truth only comes out
once it is forced, repair of trust is far less likely. As a parent, the most important message you can send your
children about lying is that you always always want them to come clean with you.
No matter how big a whopper they have told, remind them that you would always rather hear the truth, no
matter how bad it is, than be deceived. Tell them there is really nothing more sacred in your relationship
than your trust of each other. Of course, all this presupposes that we have discovered an untruth some
people are so expert at deception that it often takes a long time to find out that we have been lied to. How,
then, can we best detect whether we are being misled? There is no foolproof way, but there are often clues
you can see in behavior that should make you suspicious:
Avoidance of eye contact: Usually someone makes eye contact at least half the time they are talking to you.
If you notice them avoiding eye contact or looking down during a specific part of a conversation, they may
well be lying.
Change of voice: A variation in pitch of voice or rate of speech can be a sign of lying. So can lots of umms
and ahhs.
Body language. Turning your body away, covering your face or mouth, a lot of fidgeting of hands or legs can
indicate deception.
Contradicting yourself: Making statements that just dont hold together should make you
suspicious. If you lie all the time, even about unimportant things, you are likely to have a problem that will
eventually -- if it hasnt already -- cause you real relationship, financial or legal troubles.

Figuring out what is driving you to lie in the first place will help heal this self-destructive behavior. This may
mean going into treatment with a therapist to discover why you feel the need to deceive
http://www.today.com/id/4072816/ns/today-today_health/t/why-people-lie-how-tell-if-theyare/#.VIeG5NKG99Y

Chapter 6: Speech acts and events

In attempting to express themselves, people do not only produce utterances containing grammatical
structures and words, they perform actions via those utterances. If you work in a situation where a boss has
a great deal of power, then the boss's utterance of the expression in [1] is more than just a statement.
[1] You're fired.
The utterance in [1] can be used to perform the act of ending your employment. However, the actions
performed by utterances do not have to be as dramatic or as unpleasant as in [1]. The action can be quite
pleasant, as in the compliment performed by [2a.], the acknowledgement of thanks in [2b.], or the
expression of surprise in [2c.].
[2]
a. You're so delicious.
b. You're welcome.
c. You're crazy!
Actions performed via utterances are generally called speech acts and, in English, are commonly given more
specific labels, such as apology, complaint, compliment, invitation, promise, or request. These descriptive
terms for different kinds of speech acts apply to the speaker's communicative intention in producing an
utterance. The speaker normally expects that his or her communicative intention will be recognized by the
listener. Both speaker and listener are usually helped in this process by the circumstances surrounding the
utterance. These circumstances, including other utterances, are called the speech event. In many ways, it is
the nature of the speech event that determines the interpretation of an utterance as performing a particular
speech act.
On a wintry day, the speaker reaches for a cup of tea, believing that it has been freshly made, takes a sip,
and produces the utterance in [3]. It is likely to be interpreted as a complaint.
[3] This tea is really cold!
Changing the circumstances to a really hot summer's day with the speaker being given a glass of iced tea by
the hearer, taking a sip and producing the utterance in [3], it is likely to be interpreted as praise. If the same
utterance can be interpreted as two different kinds of speech act, then obviously no simple one utterance to
one action correspondence will be possible. It also means that there is more to the interpretation of a
speech act than can be found in the utterance alone.
Speech acts

The action performed by producing an utterance will consist of three related acts. There is first a locutionary
act, which is the basic act of utterance, or producing a meaningful linguistic expression. For example:
[4] I've just made some coffee.
Mostly we produce utterances with purpose, i.e. we form an utterance with some kind of function in mind.
This is the second dimension, the illocutionary act. The illocutionary act is performed via the communicative
force of an utterance. We might utter [4] to make a statement, an offer, an explanation, or for some other
communicative purpose. This is also generally known as the illocutionary force of the utterance.
We dont simply create an utterance with a function without intending it to have an effect. This is the third
dimension, the perlocutionary act. Depending on the circumstances, you will utter [4] on the assumption
that the listener will recognize the effect you intended (for example, to account for a wonderful smell, or to
get the hearer to drink some coffee). This is also generally known as the perlocutionary effect.
The term 'speech act' is generally interpreted quite narrowly to mean only the illocutionary force of an
utterance. The illocutionary force of an utterance is what it 'counts as'. The same illocutionary act, as shown
in [5a.], can count as a prediction [5b.], a promise [5c.], or a warning [5d.]. These different analyses [5b.-d.]
of the utterance in [5a.] represent different illocutionary forces.
[5]
a. I'll see you later. (= A)
b. [I predict that] A.
c. [I promise you that] A.
d. [I warn you that] A.
Speech act classification
Five types of speech acts: declarations, representatives, expressives, directives, and commissives.
- Declarations are those kinds of speech acts that change the world via their utterance. As the examples in
[15] illustrate, the speaker has to have a special institutional role, in a specific context, in order to perform a
declaration appropriately:
[15]
a. Priest: I now pronounce you husband and wife.
b. Referee: You're out!
c. Jury Foreman: We find the defendant guilty.
In using a declaration, the speaker changes the world via words.
- Representatives are those kinds of speech acts that state what the speaker believes to be the case or not.
Statements of fact, assertions, conclusions, and descriptions, as illustrated in [16], are all examples of the
speaker representing the world as he or she believes it is.

[16]
a. The earth is flat.
b. Chomsky didn't write about peanuts.
c. It was a warm sunny day.
In using a representative, the speaker makes words fit the world (of belief).
- Expressives are those kinds of speech acts that state what the speaker feels. They express psychological
states and can be statements of pleasure, pain, likes, dislikes, joy, or sorrow. As illustrated in [17], they can
be caused by something the speaker does or the hearer does, but they are about the speaker's experience.
[17]
a. I'm really sorry!
b. Congratulations!
c. Oh, yes, great, mmmm, ssahh!
In using an expressive, the speaker makes words fit the world (of feeling).
- Directives are those kinds of speech acts that speakers use to get someone else to do something. They
express what the speaker wants. They are commands, orders, requests, suggestions, and, as illustrated in
[18], they can be positive or negative.
[18]
a. Gimme a cup of coffee. Make it black.
b. Could you lend me a pen, please?
c. Don't touch that.
In using a directive, the speaker attempts to make the world fit the words (via the hearer).
- Commissives are those kinds of speech acts that speakers use to commit themselves to some future action.
They express what the speaker intends. They are promises, threats, refusals, pledges, and, as shown in [19],
they can be performed by the speaker alone, or by the speaker as a member of a group.
[19]
a. I'll be back.
b. I'm going to get it right next time.
c. We will not do that.
In using a commissive, the speaker undertakes to make the world fit the words (via the speaker).