Communique: A Draft of A Super Short Film

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Communique
A draft of a super short film
by Yvonne Myers
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Communique
Silence. A woman sits at a dinner table in an elegantly furnished modern apartment. She
sighs with relief at the prospect of a quiet dinner without interruption. She kicks off her
shoes, slips off her blazer, picks up her knife and fork..
The phone begins to ring. She pauses. Looks at her plate of carefully prepared
asparagus, peppercorn steak and mashed potatoes.
Phone continues to ring. Her stomach grumbles. She begins to eat. The phone stops
ringing. She savors the mouthful of steak.
Her cell phone rings, startling her out of her brief reverie. She fumbles for it in her blazer
pocket, then decides to just let it ring.
She goes back to eating, savoring each bite. The cell phone stops ringing. She breathes a
sigh of relief. She goes for a sip of wine.
The home phone and cell phone begin to ring, startling her. She knocks over the wine
glass. She takes a deep breath. She gets up and unplugs the home phone. She gets out
her cell phone and sets it on vibrate. A moment of peace.
She dabs a napkin over the spilled wine, and pours herself a fresh glass. She sips and
closes her eyes.
Beep. You have mail. Beep. You have mail Beep. You have mail.
She turns to her laptop sitting on the coffee table in the living room. She puts down her
glass of wine. Thinks for a moment.
Beep. You have mail.
She marches over to her laptop and yanks the plug out of the wall.
She sits down again. Picks up her knife and fork, cuts off a piece of steak and brings it to
her mouth.
There is a knock at the door. She freezes midbite. Stays very still.
Suddenly her cellphone begins vibrate on the table like an angry wasp. Its powerful
vibrations send it jittering towards her. She slams her hand on it. Loudly.
The knock comes again. More insistent this time. She goes to the door.
Opens it on two men, oddly identical, both in black, wearing headsets and shiny glasses.
They have large ears and very large smiles.
MAN 1: Good evening, Miss Brown.
MAN 2: You are Miss Brown, are you not?
MISS BROWN: Yes, I am. But Im not interested in buying anything.
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She closes the door. MAN 1 and MAN 2 put their hands between door and frame.
MAN 1: And were not interested in selling anything. (He speaks into his headset) Are
we?
MAN 2: (He speaks into his headset) No, we certainly are not. May we come in?
MISS BROWN: Absolutely not.
MAN 1: Didnt think so.
He starts typing on the laptop hanging off a chain on his neck on some sort of a baby bib
like device.
MAN 2:
MAN 1:
MAN 2:
headset)
Allow us to properly introduce ourselves.

Im Agent Tell and this is
Agent Bell. You dont need to know our Christian names. (He speaks into his
Too much information.
MAN 1 and MAN 2 share a laugh. It is very hollow.

MISS BROWN: What do you want?
AGENT TELL: We are with the Worldwide International Transnational Bureau of
Global Communication.
AGENT BELL: Keeping people in touch with people, 25 hours a day, 8 days a week.
AGENT TELL: Promoting constant, instant communication, preventing humans from
the devil, SOLITUDE...
Agent Bell and Agent Tell, shiver.
AGENT BELL: Preventing unhealthy thought patterns such as...
AGENT TELL: Why am I here?
AGENT BELL: Why I am working so hard to get stuff that I dont need?
AGENT TELL: What is the point of all this?
AGENT BELL: Isnt there a simpler way to live?
They then pose for a selfie, blowing raspberries into their I-phone cameras. All of Miss
Browns electronic devices start beeping and buzzing. She pulls out her cellphone. Sees
their picture.
They grin at her. Take a picture of her reaction. Bell types on his laptop. Her picture
appears on his Facebook page.
MISS BROWN: Im closing the door now.
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She tries to close the door. Agent Bell and Agent Tell lift their hands. The door wont
close.
AGENT TELL: You went on camping trip the weekend of May 28th.
AGENT BELL: On May 30 th, 2004, in a cell phone conversation with your girlfriend,
Anita, you are quoted as saying: (He pushes a button on his headset and suddenly Miss
Browns voice booms out)
MISS BROWNS VOICE: Oh, you shouldve come! It was so great! God, being out
there with a just a tent, a fire, I thought, wow, this is really all you need. I might just quit
my job! (sounds of shared laughter)
MISS BROWN: How did you get that? Who are you people!
AGENT TELL: Please lower your tone.
AGENT BELL: I believe weve explained who we are .The real question is Who are
you?
AGENT TELL: Since that conversation, you have left 878 emails unanswered,
AGENT BELL: Left 372 phonecalls to your home to be picked up by voicemail,
AGENT TELL: Even though you were at home. Tsk.
AGENT BELL: Tsk. You have turned off your cellphone a stunning total of 997 times,
for as long 98 minutes...
AGENT TELL: As if any film or piece of theatrical drivel could be more important...
AGENT BELL: than someone reaching out to touch you.
AGENT TELL: Tonight was the last straw.
AGENT BELL: You have been a very naughty girl.
MISS BROWN: Yes, youre right. What should I...
She slams the door shut, before they have time to react.
She quickly locks the door, and puts on the chain. Leans against it. Breathes. Waits.
Silence. She peers cautiously through the eyehole. They are still there. The home phone
begins to ring. She picks it up.
AGENT TELL: There is no reason for you to become upset...
She hangs up. Quickly picks up and dials 911. They are still on the line.
AGENT BELL: We only want to know who you are...
AGENT TELL: This is the communication age...
AGENT BELL: Talk more, think less.
She slams the phone down. Sees that its still unplugged. Runs to her cellphone, dials
911. They are on the line.
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AGENT TELL: Rest less, produce more.

AGENT BELL: Produce more, consume more
AGENT TELL: Solitude is out. Solidarity is in.
MISS BROWN: What do you want from me!?
AGENT BELL: We want you
AGENT TELL: To answer your phones.
AGENT BELL: Respond to your e-mails.
AGENT TELL: You are either part of the communication age
AGE BELL: Or part of the stone age.
Miss Brown sits at the dinner table, in midbite as if frozen. She shakes herself out of her
reverie. Looks around. Goes to the door. Peaks through the eyehole. There is no one
there. Her cellphone begins to vibrate it on the table. She walks toward the table.
Pauses. Then picks up the phone.
MISS BROWN: Hello?
The End
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F -X C h a n ge

Allow us to properly introduce ourselves.

MAN 1 and MAN 2 share a laugh. It is very hollow.

MISS BROWN: Im closing the door now.

AGENT TELL: Rest less, produce more.

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