T HE winning of the Miss Universe

crown by Sushmita Sen in 1994

and the Miss World crown by
When India “Missed” the
Aishwarya Rai later that year were cel-
ebrated by the Indian mass media and
Universe
the urban elites as though they were
momentous events in Indian history. Madhu Kishwar
Manpreet Brar’s qualifying as first
runner-up this year in the Miss Uni-
“I have a terrible tendency to put on weight. If I have more than two
verse contest has convinced many In-
chapatis at a go, I bloat. If I have one extra biscuit, I feel so guilty, I
dians that the winning of the earlier
wander around the house moaning that I look fat. Of late I have
two crowns was not a fluke — that
become obsessed with food. If I see a two-day old chapati that a dog
India has indeed arrived on the inter-
wouldn’t eat, I start drooling.”
national scene. We thought we had
Madhu Sapre, fashion model and former Miss India
conquered the world whereas in Eu-
rope and America little attention was eight column space across the entire a hope, that if they continue to ape the
paid to our grand accomplishments. front page. The burning of Charar-e- West in its mannerisms, lifestyle, con-
Up until the 1970s, beauty contests Sharif in Kashmir was relegated to a sumption patterns, fashion designs
used to be peripheral affairs, only cov- much less prominent place. and what have you, they will one day
ered by specialised women’s maga- make it to world class, just as
The victories of Sushmita and
zines such as Femina and Eve’s Sushmita and Aishwarya did by
Aishwarya had been even more
Weekly. They were hardly ever a topic learning to walk, talk, dress, smile and
lavishly praised — their achievement
of animated discussion in middle-class wear makeup like Hollywood stars.
was celebrated in India the way
homes. But now they have acquired a On the surface, participation in these
America celebrated its first astronaut’s
prominence in our social life totally beauty contests may even give the im-
walk on the moon. Even Doordarshan
out of proportion to their significance. pression of having a liberating effect
telecast it live this year on the national on the supposedly tradition-bound In-
Millions sat glued to their TV sets in hook up at prime-time.
India to watch the crowning of dian women by encouraging them to
Sushmita and Aishwarya. The prime To the inferiority complex ridden enhance their physical and sexual
minister and the president received Indian elites, the Indian beauties who appeal. To see Indian women
them as though they were high digni- won international crowns gave them parading confidently in front of men
taries. Big national and international
companies spent millions of dollars
promoting their products and image
through association with the contest
and the winner.
Beauty contests now get prominent
front page coverage in leading na-
tional newspapers. It is inconceivable
that a high status paper like the New
York Times would organise a beauty
contest to boost its circulation. But in
India, where earlier the Miss India
contest used to be a mere Femina
event, it has now been converted into
a grand The Times of India gala. For
instance, on May 14, 1995, The Times
Rustam Vania

of India gave the lead story to

Manpreet Brar, the first runner-up in
the Miss Universe 1995 contest, an

No. 88 9
 and being sexually provocative could more restricted audience as the Miss were practised routinely and viciously.
be seen as a sign of self-assertion of India contest. This time, when The "real" Mirandians would never
their womanhood and sexuality. But Sushmita won the Miss Universe con- condescend to even rag a fresher if she
in actual fact these contests are hardly test for India and the country went did not come from the right back-
a celebration of women’s beauty. They ecstatic over it, I just could not react ground. You had to be from a school
end up reducing their bodies and their in the manner I did in the 1970s. This such as Welhelms, Loreto, Tara Hall
whole existence to well-packaged is not because I’ve changed my mind or Convent of Jesus and Mary in or-
products to get them to act as vehicles about the harmful effects of beauty der to qualify to be admitted to the
for consumer goods. Most of these are contests, but because looking back on charmed circle. Someone from
useless products and, therefore, must the fall-out of our campaign in the uni- Salwan school or Guru Harkishan
rely on media hype to generate an ar- versity, I am left with very ambiva- Public School would be automatically
tificial demand. It is no coincidence, lent feelings. ruled out, even if the school taught
for instance, that Pepsi hired Sushmita through the medium of English. Your
When I joined Miranda House as
and Aishwarya to boost their sales in father had to be a highly placed bu-
India soon after they won the crown. a starry-eyed 16-year-old in the late
reaucrat, preferably of the IFS or the
It is only by using such glamorised 1960s, I got the first and most long
IAS, or a senior army officer, or a top
models that they hope to persuade lasting culture shock of my life —
business executive for you to qualify
people to buy flavoured sugar water one that played a substantial role in
to be ragged by the “hep” seniors. You
costing them no more than a few paise had to be able to speak English with
at Rs 6 a bottle — and in the process the right public school accent. If you
harming their own health.
These contests are hardly a
were a day scholar, your parents would
celebration of women’s need to have a house in some presti-
Protests against beauty contests,
beauty. They end up gious South Delhi colony, unless you
the use of women as sex objects and
the commodification of women’s bod- reducing their bodies and lived in the princely bureaucratic part
ies have been key components of their whole existence to of New Delhi. Often the seniors could
tell from the way someone dressed if
women’s movements in the West. well-packaged products to
Western feminists realised that beauty she belonged. Occasionally, a bhenji
get them to act as vehicles type dressed in ways resembling the
contests, by their demonstration effect
through various media, had the seri-
for consumer goods. elite would be summoned for ragging.
ous potential to harm women — But the first few questions would de-
physically, mentally and emotionally. cide whether she was considered wor-
shaping my life and thinking in the thy of ragging or not. “Your name,
Unfortunately, we in India are catch-
years to come. In those days Miranda fresher? Where do you stay? What
ing this western fever years after
House was considered India’s premier does your father do?” Only if you had
thinking women in the West chal-
institution for women’s education and “satisfactory” answers to each of those
lenged and discarded those concepts
attracted daughters of the bureaucratic qualifying queries did the select few
of beauty. The Miss India Contest has
and business elite in large numbers. condescend to rag you. If a fresher
become an important national event.
Beauty contests have proliferated in The college population was divided answered that she lived in Kamala
thousands of women’s colleges and in into three distinct categories — the Nagar or Shahdara or a trans-Yamuna
hundreds of local clubs and hotels. westernised Mirandians who came colony or that her father owned a dry
from elite schools, the science types, cleaner’s shop or was a postal clerk,
The “Beauties” of Miranda and the Hindi-speaking bhenjis. Not she would be at once asked to “get
The euphoria whirling around everyone who came from an English lost”. Through this process, the se-
these Indian beauties brought back speaking school qualified to be admit- niors sifted and selected the freshers
memories of the days in 1971 when, ted into the first group. Ragging not they considered worthy of notice and
as president of the Miranda House only served the purpose of sifting the friendship. The ragging period ended
Students’ Union, I worked very hard freshers into neat categories but also on a celebratory note — with the fa-
to get the Miss Miranda beauty con- showed each group its place in the mous Miss Miranda beauty contest.
test abolished. In those days the Miss Miranda House scheme of things. Though entry to it was not formally
Miranda beauty contest had pretty Without any formal sanction, fairly forbidden to the bhenji types, it was
much the same glamour among its strict and visible forms of segregation well understood that the prestigious

10 MANUSHI
 title could only go to the hep elite: the very few of my fellow classmates human qualities.
bhenjis hardly ever even dared to en- discuss books or ideas except to bor-
Ironically enough, these contests
ter the contest. row each other’s notes for examina-
and fashion parades were organised
tion preparation. Most of their time
A Hallowed Tradition? and energy was spent on talking of
by the college Students’ Union which,
until then, was monopolised by the
The beauty contest set the tone for boyfriends, shopping trips, dressing
same beauty culture elite. This Union
the whole institution. The college up, and planning for parties and out-
hardly ever concerned itself with aca-
seemed to function more as a finish- ings. In that sense, the beauty contest demic issues or various legitimate
ing school for a large number of young was not an isolated event in which a problems faced by the students. The
women, where they came to acquire few participated for fun. It set the tone president and the secretary of the
airs rather than academic qualifica- and cultural milieu for the hep Union sat as judges in the beauty con-
tions. Undoubtedly, there was a fa- Mirandians all year round. The mes- test along with former beauty queens
cade of selecting as Miss Miranda sage was clear: Your body shape, waist of Miranda House.
House someone who combined beauty and bust size, the way you dressed, the
with “brains” and “good grooming.” In 1969, Akhila Ramachandran
accent in which you spoke English
That usually amounted to asking a few took over as president of the Union. I
(reflecting the social, economic status
questions like, “What would you do if was vice-president of the Union that
of your family), and the kind of male
you found yourself on the moon?” The year. We tried to transform the Union
attention you were able to attract were
fresher who managed a cheeky and into the voice of organised student
far more important than any other
funny answer usually was considered opinion on various issues relating to
qualities you might have. For in-
brainy enough to deserve the crown. the university, as well as the general
stance, while Miss Miranda was con-
All the intelligence required of you society and polity. When our elected
sidered the celebrated heroine of the
amounted to no more than being able campus, very few students knew who team tried to raise the issue of abol-
to come up with an instant joke or a topped the university in various sub- ishing the beauty contest, we met with
smart alec response. jects or won medals in debating or vigorous opposition from the domi-
various sporting events. The beauty nant elite of the college. Akhila
This crowning event was followed worked out a compromise and tried
by a series of parties organised by the contest promoted vicious elitism and
low-level competitiveness among to tone down the beauty-cutie part of
boys of the St. Stephens college. The the contest by asking a few
senior Mirandians would take the women at the cost of talent and other
“intelligent” ques-
Miranda House tions of the contes-
freshers along in tants and selecting
order to facilitate someone who was
pairing off with the
not beautiful in the
Stephenians. The
conventional
height of a
sense. I personally
Mirandian’s ambi-
was not satisfied
tion was to get a
with this “beauty-
boyfriend from
cum-brain” con-
among the
test idea because it
Stephenians, pref-
kept the basic de-
erably someone
rogatory message
with a car who
intact while
could take you out
bowdlerising the
to fancy disco-
notion of intelli-
theques and parties
gence in women.
every weekend. In
all the years that I Therefore,
studied in that sup- when I got elected
posedly premier as president of the
institution, I heard Rustam Vania
Union in the

No. 88 11
 following year, the two issues we of influential teachers, declared their bourgeois” society and wanted as little
began the year with were: support for the beauty contest, defend- to do with it as possible. Indian pa-
ing it as one of the “hallowed tradi- pers in the early ’70s carried very little
! An end to nasty and often
tions” of Miranda House. On our side, information about other countries.
obscene ragging of freshers by the
we began a vigorous signature cam- What little trickled though carried
seniors.
paign in the college, going from class with it the stereotyping and biases of
! An end to the beauty contest. to class, holding long discussions with the western media on women’s issues.
We began our campaign by call- small clusters of students and, thereby, Books by feminist authors had not yet
ing a General Body meeting to dis- successfully mobilising a very large invaded the Indian market as they
cuss the issue. At the end of it, when body of determined opinion against came to do in later years.
we called for a vote, an overwhelm- the beauty contest. Since we were
Interestingly, it was not just my
ing majority of the college students accused of manipulating a majority
vote in the general body by rabble response which was based on sheer ig-
voted against the beauty contest and norance. The hep elite of Miranda
in favour of a freshers’ week of cul- rousing, we asked for a secret ballot,
a sort of referendum on the desirabil- House ended up by taking such a hos-
tural activities. It was decided that tile stand against our efforts to abol-
the emphasis should be shifted from ity of holding the controversial con-
test. A day was fixed for it. But the ish the beauty contest and indulged in
competition to exposing first year stu- a vicious hate campaign against us be-
dents to various extra academic as- beauty contest lobby felt insecure
knowing that they were a helpless cause they too seemed unaware that
pects of university life, and encourag- the beauty contests were being simi-
ing more and more students to take minority, and therefore, with the help
of the then college principal and a few larly challenged by a newly emerging
part. women’s movement. In the West,
supportive teachers, they decided to
The hep elite were clearly in a tiny hold the contest surreptitiously, a beauty contests were on their way to
minority, but they were so used to couple of days before the agreed date becoming unfashionable, at least
having their writ obeyed all these of the secret ballot. As soon as we got among the intellectual elite. In those
years, that they could not stomach the to know of it, we were able to organise, days there was a much larger time lag
idea that the college bhenjis, who they at short notice, a massive dharna at in ideas and technology from the West
considered riff-raff, could dare vote the proposed venue and pre-empt the to third world countries like India,
out one of their most sacred rituals — holding of the contest. The beauties unlike today, when Star TV, CNN and
one that affirmed the superiority of in all their fineries trooped out of the BBC are able to bridge the informa-
their way of life in the college. Even college and held a contest in a private tion gap almost instantaneously.
though the function was supposed to apartment on the outskirts of the Uni- Self-turned Racism
be organised under the aegis of the versity. They had the satisfaction of
Student’s Union and more than 90 One strand of our opposition to the
having held the contest anyway. We Miranda House beauty contest echoed
percent of the student body had voted were satisfied it could not be called
against it, the beauties and cuties were some of the issues raised by western
the Miss Miranda beauty contest any feminists in their protests against
not willing to accept this verdict. This more. That was the last beauty con-
unleashed a virtual civil war in the beauty contests. For instance, among
test in Miranda House. other things, our campaign leaflets
college.
I remember reacting with a great talked about how the beauty contest
They sought and got the support deal of annoyance at being labelled a trained women to view themselves as
of the college administration for feminist and being called the Kate sex objects and to remain engrossed
holding the beauty contest. Millet of India for spearheading the in attempts to become sexually attrac-
In those days, the English depart- campaign against the Miranda House tive to the male eye at the cost of de-
ment, along with a sprinkling of beauty contest. My response was to veloping other talents and human
faculty from the History and Econom- reject such parallels because, until qualities. But that was only a small
ics departments, used to dominate then, I had practically no knowledge part of our objection. For me, the more
college affairs in pretty much the same of the western feminist movement, nor important motivation behind the cam-
way as the hep English speaking elite the issues it had raised. In those days paign was to fight against the vicious
dominated the student body. The I saw western society mainly though forms of elitism perpetuated by the
college principal, along with a group the Marxist prism as a “decadent super-westernised elite of our college.

12 MANUSHI
 Their contempt for those am against those elites
who did not dress according whose claim to superiority
to the correct fashions of the depends solely on their eco-
day, did not speak English nomic status and political
with the appropriate public clout rather than on any
school accent, or did not moral or intellectual worth.
boast of a suitable address The Miranda House beauty
in one of the elite colonies lobby represented the copy-
of Delhi was so corrosive cat elite — culturally and in-
that it destroyed the self- tellectually. Miranda House
confidence of many who felt was like an intellectual slum
rejected by this group. The of the West. My fellow stu-
beauty contest was a mere dents prided themselves on
symbol of this nasty elitism knowing more about the
which enveloped all aspects royal family of Britain but
of student life. In order to would not have heard of a
be part of that charmed man like Chaudhary Chhotu
circle you had to have a taste Ram of Haryana, or have an
for western music, see west- interest in Sardar Patel.
ern films, read only western They could write a treatise
literature. If you were seen on Jane Austen but would
Rustam Vania
viewing Hindi films or not condescend to read
listening to folk songs, that stamped to an appropriate south Delhi colony, Mahadevi Varma. This was before the
you as an unfashionable bhenji for- everyday she would take a bus headed “ethnic” became fashionable and
ever. Likewise, you were allowed to towards south Delhi along with those South Asian studies departments in
speak in Hindi, Marathi, or whatever whose social approval she desperately western universities began promoting
your “mother tongue” may have been, desired, and then come all the way and funding research on Indian litera-
only to servants and drivers. If you back to the Red Fort to reach her house ture and politics.
read Agatha Christie or even the silly in the Chandni Chowk area. If any
This elite prided itself on its alien-
Mills and Boon you were “in”. If you one of her classmates chanced to see
her near where she lived, she would ation from its own people, its own
were seen reading a Hindi novel by culture and traditions. Its survival de-
refuse to recognise the person and pre-
Premchand or a Tamil book, you pended on uncritically and
tend it was someone else they saw. I
would immediately be considered unimaginatively borrowing western
myself felt a semi-outcast because
“out.” Not that everyone who tried to technology, western ideas and
though I studied in English Honours
be part of this “in” group all came western ways of looking at the world.
and could speak English with the ap-
from thoroughly westernised homes. propriate Indo-British accent, I en- Therefore, it could not claim to being
I recall the pathetic case of one of joyed the friendship of the pass-course a genuine intellectual elite for that
my classmates from English Honours bhenjis more than that of my own requires the ability to think indepen-
fancy classmates. I also enjoyed sing- dently, to be creative in generating
who came from a wealthy, but not so
ing Hindi songs. As Union president, ideas and providing intellectual lead-
westernised Bania family. Her
I insisted on holding all general body ership to your own society. A men-
family still lived in the unfashionable
meetings in Hindi because the major- tally enslaved, colonised intelligentsia
old city. However, she never gave her
ity of students were not comfortable cannot do that. That is why the
correct address to anyone, including
or fluent in English, even though they Miranda House elite felt so threatened
her close friends, and made out that
had a basic knowledge of the lan- when a silly symbol of their hitherto
she lived in a fashionable suburb of
guage. This choice provoked extreme assumed superiority of their way of
south Delhi. For this she had to incur
hostility from my English language life, the beauty contest, was abolished
a great deal of inconvenience every oriented contemporaries. in 1971.
day. Since your social status in the
college also depended on whether you Copy-cat Elites Fortunately, in Miranda House, the
took one of the college special buses I am not against elites per se, but I beauty contest was never revived.

No. 88 13
 However, in the last two decades, the world. In the last decade, with the domination by the over-westernised
beauty contest culture has proliferated various international funding agencies elite in Miranda House. Earlier, the
widely and engulfed most women’s in- promoting feminism in third world college principal invariably owed al-
stitutions, including the non-elite countries, to be identified as a third legiance to this group and the college
ones. In Delhi University, you have world feminist has become a very lu- was unduly dominated by the English
Miss Daulat Ram, Miss Gargi, Miss crative proposition indeed. So we department. While their enthusiasm
Maitreyi Devi, with virtually every have the interesting phenomenon in to pretend that Miranda House was an
women’s college holding its own con- India whereby fashionable beauty con- extension of some British university
test. Does it represent democratisation test holding elites of the 60s and 70s meant that students learned very little
of westernisation in our society? The have taken to feminism, and have about their country and became ridicu-
very same bhenjis on whose behalf come to look down upon beauty con- lously Eurocentric, they also fostered
we had launched the anti-beauty con- tests. The bhenjis, on the other hand, some positive characteristics. The
have now have become great enthusi- college atmosphere was relatively lib-
test campaign in 1970 have now taken
asts of beauty contests and fashion eral, with far fewer restrictions on stu-
to fashion parades and beauty contests
parades. It is a case of particular as- dent mobility. Girls could be out ev-
with incredible vigour and gusto. It
pects of western influence reaching ery day until 8 p.m. and were allowed
makes one wonder whether this is the
certain sections of our population at weekends out with no one keeping a
inevitable direction in which the as- different paces.
pirations of the vast majority of mod- tab on whether you went to your local
ern women is likely to move. If this guardian’s home or not, as long as you
is what most women want, does one A genuine intellectual elite brought back the leave book duly
have any moral right to oppose it, for that requires the ability signed by the supposed guardian.
since there is no evidence women are Nobody bothered to check whether the
to think independently, to signature was forged or real. Students
being coerced into this culture but are
be creative in generating met their boyfriends openly and went
happy being seduced by it?
ideas and providing out on dates without hiding, unlike in
In the meantime, the beauty-cutie intellectual leadership to other women’s hostels which func-
elites of the 1960s and 1970s got tioned mostly as prisons or nari
themselves admitted to western uni- your own society. A
niketans. The hostel was a place for
versities and got the opportunity to mentally enslaved,
fun with no restrictions on visitors into
catch up with the latest fashions in the colonised intelligentsia the rooms as long as they were female.
West. Many of them returned to cannot do that. Day scholars intermixed freely with
India in the 1980s as enthusiastic hostelers and the hostel itself was the
feminists after a few years in and hub of activity. The westernised teach-
around western university campuses, Whereas earlier being pro-beauty ers were more likely than the other
because by then, feminism had estab- contests was proof of one’s elite sta- teachers to be friendly and informal
lished itself as a powerful force in tus for women, today being against the with students and would invite stu-
western society. New academic dis- “culture of commodification of dents to their homes. Some would
ciplines, new departments, jobs and women’s bodies” has become more even offer cigarettes and drinks. All
fellowships were created in response fashionable than winning a beauty these things undoubtedly gave
to the western feminist demands for contest, for holding the latter opinion Miranda House girls the reputation of
equitable sharing of power in the uni- connects you to the international in- being “fast”, but the unusual amount
versities and outside. These days, to tellectual elite. It is not a coincidence of freedom available to women stu-
declare oneself a “third world femi- that whereas the various Miss Worlds dents allowed space to explore life —
nist” is to open the gates of many and Miss Universes used to be mostly if you wanted to. For me, personally,
career opportunities which otherwise European and American, they are now the liberal atmosphere of Miranda
would not come your way — research mostly from third world countries and House provided a space for experi-
the contests are given undue coverage menting and thinking things anew.
grants, fellowships, teaching assign-
in national papers only in these My tenure as vice-president and presi-
ments, invitations to international
countries. dent of the Union were really tumul-
conferences, project funds, and so on.
You are at once admitted as a There were many other surprising tuous years for the college. We turned
member of the intellectual elite of the fall-outs of our campaign against the many old conventions upside down —

14 MANUSHI
 challenged the quality of teaching, de- bring a more benign culture. The To be opposed to beauty contests
manded and got representation on the home-bred elite can easily bring with is not to be opposed to women beauti-
Governing Body, supported college it repressive karwa chauth culture and fying themselves. Throughout history,
workers demanding better working khomeinivad for women. women have been known to express
conditions and injected a high dose of their love of beauty by embellishing
That is why I am extremely wary
radicalism in the student body by at- themselves and everything around
now of joining campaigns against
tempting to get it exposed to national them, including objects of everyday
beauty contests and the like. Most of
politics — especially the radical left use. Indian women in particular have
those who are opposing them today
variety. We organised innumerable been exceptionally creative in this re-
have a tendency to advocate oppres-
protest marches, gheraoed the Gov- sive norms for women in the name of gard. They decorate ordinary mud
erning Body and the principal, fre- protecting Indian culture (Bharatiya floors with beautiful designs, have a
quently confronted the staff council, sanskriti). While the anglicised elite rich tradition of colourful clothing
and got involved in Delhi University tend to lag behind a few years in catch- with intricate embroideries, create lav-
politics without being treated as pari- ing up with the latest intellectual fash- ish mirror work and a host of rich de-
ahs. In their flexible response to our ions in the West, the Hindi and other signs. It is but natural that they would
activism, our westernised teachers regional language elites tend to absorb express their joy in beauty by beauti-
western notions of 50 to 100 years ago fying their bodies as well. Shringar
communicated some of the positive
and even then, indigenising them in is an age old tradition in India where
virtues of liberalism. No matter how
peculiar ways. For instance, their women put on special jewelry, special
much we differed with them, many of
notion of Bharatiya sanskriti is, more makeup and decorate every part of the
the teachers whose decisions we were
often than not, repressive body.
challenging remained good friends
and rarely turned vindictive. Victorianism in an Indian garb. For However, the concept of beauty
them, sex itself is a bad word — it is that comes to us from the West along
Victoriarism, Indian Style ashlil [vulgar] — and women’s bod- with these beauty contests has very
However, while I never regretted ies something of an embarrassment. little to do with beauty and more to do
challenging the hegemony of the The Barbie-doll Aesthetic with marketing a self-view to women
westernised elite in Miranda House, I whereby they all try to look and be-
The moment one expresses distaste
did recoil in horror to see the results have like standardised products —
for beauty contests, it is assumed that
of a shift in power from the English rather than normal human beings.
one wants every woman to look like
Department to the non-elite depart- an inmate of a Gandhi ashram, and to This makes women self-hating by
ments like Hindi and Sanskrit. A few lead a self-repressed life. wanting to conform to a pre-set glam-
years later, when Miranda House hired our doll image.
its first principal from the Sanskrit De-
For years, western feminists have
partment, she brought such a repres-
sive culture with her that the institu- grappled with how men have come to
tion became unrecognisable. Innu- define beauty in such a way as to ma-
merable ridiculous restrictions were nipulate women into considering
placed on students. Iron grills and themselves attractive only when men
huge iron gates were introduced to bar find them sexually provocative. Much
the movement of students from one of this is tied in with a sick obsession
part of the college to another. For in- with youth in western culture, which
stance, day scholars were forbidden effects all strata of the society. Women
from entering the hostel and their ac- have access to an extremely tenuous
cess to the hostel was blocked off by bit of power as long as they are young
iron grills. The college began to re- and attractive to men. Western men,
semble a cage. Hearing stories of the however, have a different standard for
harassment suffered by students and themselves. They believe they con-
Kaushal Shrivastava

teachers in those days, I realised that, tinue to be attractive even in middle

as was the case in the rest of the coun- age. In fact, if they are rich and pow-
try, challenging the monopoly of the erful, their age only adds to their
westernised elites did not necessarily charm. Streaks of silver in a man’s

No. 88 15
 hair are supposed to enhance his sex The premium most Indians A dark skinned girl is often treated
appeal, but not so for a woman. There put on fair complexion in as the ugly duckling of the family and
is pressure for her to carefully hide finds it tough going in the marriage
women is indeed weird market. Skin whitening creams that
them with a dye, along with other tell-
tale signs of aging. As she starts considering that majority of promise a “fair and lovely” complex-
greying, her breasts start sagging, us are rather brown ion are as sought after as anti-wrinkle
wrinkles appear, or her waist starts skinned, if not dark. creams in the West. The premium
bulging, she is made to feel increas- most Indians put on fair complexion
ingly dispensable. The obsession with in women is indeed weird consider-
Westerners). My friend, Surabhi
having big and firm breasts, narrow ing that majority of us are rather
Sheth, a Sanskrit scholar, confirms
waists and shapely legs drives vast brown skinned, if not dark. However,
that the bias in favour of fair skin
numbers of women in the West to go in most other respects, I find tradi-
abounds in Indian literature. A
on starvation diets. One and a half tional ways of looking at beauty far
gaurvarna is associated with prakash
million women in the West are known more balanced and healthy.
(light) and saundarya (beauty). There
to have their breasts artificially in- are also caste dimensions to the pref- For instance, in India, we are not
flated through surgery. American erence. Brahmins are associated with tyrannised by the pressure to stay trim.
friends tell me that losing weight is white skin, the Kshatriyas with red If I put on some weight, most of my
such a national obsession that you can- (valour), Vaishyas with yellow skin friends and family are likely to tell me
not talk to a woman for any length of and Shudras with black. While fair that I’m looking healthy. Likewise,
time without the conversation veering skin was traditionally prized for its as- whenever I have lost a few kilos, I am
round to calories and diets. Many sociation with saundarya, during co- constantly besieged with queries like:
women become anorexic in their lonial rule it acquired a new connota- “Have you been ill? Why are you
anxiety to stay trim and get sick tion - that of power. That perhaps looking so pulled down?” As long as
because they cannot eat. Others who explains the fascination Indians have a woman is not outright obese, a
can’t resist eating their fill, learn the had with the Nehru family. Since they plump look is associated with being
art of vomiting soon after each meal were almost as fair as Europeans, they healthy. Most parents would actively
were treated like they were natural discourage their daughters from go-
so that they are able to eat with aban-
born rulers. I am convinced that ing on diets to lose weight. In fact, if
don without putting on any weight.
Indira Gandhi would not have been a woman does not put on weight after
For years, magazines like Femina so valourised and allowed to get away marriage, it would be seen as a sign
and Eve’s Weekly (now defunct) have with so many evil deeds had she been
of a stressful marriage. It is widely
been trying to propagate these and dark skinned.
believed that if a woman is happy in
other western obsessions among In-
marriage, “her body should fill out”
dian women but so far their influence
(sharir bhar jana chahiye.) Even film
has stayed confined to a very tiny sec-
heroines in India are almost never
tion among the urban elite. Eating
skinny — unlike most Hollywood stars
disorders and plastic surgery are rela-
who have to have a lean and starved
tively unheard of in our country. But
look in order to be considered right
if the euphoria over beauty contests
for glamorous roles. Our film stars
keeps spreading at this pace, fuelled
would be considered plump and many
by interested sections of the mass
even outright fat by western standards.
media, women in India are in for a lot
But in India, heroines like Meena
of trouble.
Kumari, Nargis, Asha Parekh, Hema
So far, the main unhealthy aspect Malini, and Mala Sinha among the
of our notion of beauty in women is older generation were never rejected
our tendency to consider dark skin a simply because they grew fat with age.
sign of ugliness. A heavy premium is Even among the younger generation,
put on women being “fair skinned”. Sridevi, Juhi Chawla and many
(In this respect Indians are no less others have fairly plump bodies. But
racist than some white skinned that does not prevent them from

16 MANUSHI
 being considered attractive. nasty to his mother is socially
Most Indians like them for their looked down upon.
“healthy” look.
Bowing before a mother’s
The Didi/Amma commands and obeying her
Advantage wishes is considered the appro-
Unlike in the West, where priate behavior for sons even
women’s youth is highly val- after they are married. A duti-
ued and old age dreaded, ful son is held up as a social
women in India are respected ideal. In western culture, such
and taken far more seriously as a man is likely to be laughed at.
they begin to get older. An In- He would be seen as abnormal,
dian woman’s position in the needing to “become a man” and
family is enhanced and she told that he needs to see a psy-
comes to acquire much greater chologist for being tied to his
bargaining power as she ad- mother’s apron strings. Not so
vances in age. As young wives, in India. It is popularly be-
women in India do not have it lieved that you don’t have to
so good. They are expected to worship any God as long as you
be subservient to the elders in serve your mother in a worship-
the family and not allowed ful fashion. It is considered bet-
much autonomy. However, as ter than divine worship.
they become mothers and This can lead to major prob-
Kalighat painting, 19th C. Bhairavi tramples a
grandmothers, they often lems for the daughter-in-law if
male figure underfoot
emerge as authority figures in the mother is not wise about ex-
the family. That is why, by and large, opportunities to deal with men in a ercising her influence and authority,
Indian women do not dread ageing as range of close relationships without or if the son ignores his wife’s needs.
do western women. Perhaps that ex- having to be constantly viewed as sex It also often means that Indian men
plains the absence of anti-wrinkle objects. Thus, there is much less pres- are awkward as husbands, especially
creams in the Indian market — though sure on women to be forever sexually with young wives. That is perhaps
there are dozens of brands of “Fair and attractive to men. The ideology of why most Indian women start early at
Lovely” creams floating around. glorifying motherhood has a major moulding themselves into matriarchs,
In public places, an older woman plus point in that men, even after they often in the process undermining their
with grey hair is unlikely to be treated grow up, are expected to be reveren- role as attractive sex partners.
shabbily. The social norm is to ex- tial to their mothers. While society Likewise, women as older sisters,
tend “mother-like” respect to such a often condones a man behaving badly aunts and even grandmothers can ex-
with his wife, a man being rude or
woman. If you are not old enough to ercise a great deal of power and influ-
be treated in a mother-like fashion, ence over men who are expected to as-
you will be addressed as a sister. sume responsibility for and behave re-
By and large, Indian
Behenji is one of the most common spectfully towards women in these
forms of respectfully addressing a women do not dread ageing
roles. You don’t have to be a real
woman in many parts of India. as do western women.
blood brother or nephew for that.
Some western feminists find the
Perhaps that explains the Neighbourhood boys are expected to
Indian obsession with respecting absence of anti-wrinkle behave in a brotherly fashion towards
women as mothers and sisters offen- creams in the Indian girls of that area who can legitimately
sive and an expression of denying market — though there are expect that they will come to her help
women their selfhood. That is really dozens of brands of “Fair if the girl is being harassed by some-
missing the point altogether, for this one. It is the very opposite in western
and Lovely” creams culture, where men in their roles as
ideology provides women a way out
of the sex object trap and gives them floating around. brothers, sons and nephews can be

No. 88 17
 both awkward and unwill- had to say with folded hands
ing to take responsibility, was: “No, I am your
and cringe at the idea of neighbourhood sister, plead-
having a woman tell them ing with you not to beat up a
what to do. Indian men man who is already in such
tend to be rather soppy and a humiliating position.”
sentimental about these re- That instantly calmed them
lationships and are used to down. They parked the
being nagged and ordered scooter in a courtyard to en-
around by women relatives. sure its safety and told the
Of innumerable such in- drunk man that he had to do
stances from my own expe- as I told him and come back
rience, I cite one. A few to collect his scooter when
months ago I was walking sober. Finally, a local shop-
down to the local chemist keeper offered to drive the
shop in Lajpat Nagar when man to his house in his car
I saw a man on a two- provided “Didi” came along.
wheeler scooter suddenly The next morning the man
fall down with a thud on the returned for his scooter not
road. I rushed to help only profusely apologetic for
thinking he had been hit by what had happened but
a passing vehicle, but that equally thankful to his “didi”
was not the case. He had for having taken care of him
fallen down from his the previous night.
scooter because he was dead I find this “didi,”
drunk. With the help of “amma,” “mausi” role far
nearby shopkeepers, we re- more advantageous for
moved him from the road women because not only do
and made him sit on the Kalighat painting, 19th C. A wife leads her sheepish men listen to a woman more
pavement. I lifted his husband by a string respectfully once she estab-
scooter, parked it on the lishes this kind of an equation with
side, took out the ignition keys, and supported me in preventing him from them, but it also saves her from being
told him that I was not going to al- driving home in that drunken state. He sexually harassed or being treated as
low him to drive home in that condi- was still too drunk to realise that I a sex object. I have often been suc-
tion, and that we would send him meant business. So he kept pleading cessful in thwarting unwanted sexual
home in an auto rickshaw. His first and arguing - though no longer in the advances and flirtation by male friends
response was to start yelling at me in earlier insulting tone. Now it was, or colleagues by beginning to address
a drunken rage: “Who the hell are you “Didi, please let me go. I promise I them as so and so “bhaiya” or even
to stop me? How dare you keep my will never drink again!” Some men of “beta” even if the man is not actually
scooter back?” I calmly replied: the locality wanted to hand him over young enough to be a son to me. This
“Your older sister who doesn’t want to the police. When I resisted, saying didi/amma advantage does not work
to see you dead in a road accident!” they will only beat up the fellow and as well on the over-westernised men.
Though I wasn’t sure I was actually steal whatever money he was carry- Age, in fact, lends tremendous ad-
older than him. Even in that drunken ing, they began to hit the drunken man vantage to women in India, and that
state his tone changed. From then saying only a sound thrashing would is why many women learn to use this
on he began pleading and teach him a lesson. I put myself be- advantage rather than hide it.
apologising, begging me to let him tween them and the drunkard and
go home with his vehicle. In the asked them to stop beating him up. Through Male Eyes
meantime nearly 25 people, some This got them enraged and once again In western culture, by contrast, as
passers-by, some neighbours, had col- I was rudely confronted with: “Who do women grow older, they become more
lected around us, and they all you think you are? Supercop?” All I pitiable. Their husbands often start

18 MANUSHI
 sniffing around for It is this relative con-
younger women. The fidence that her marriage
concept of equality and will last, whether or not
women’s rights has a woman stays youthful
brought with it easy ac- and attractive enough to
cess to divorce. But in the satisfy her husband’s
ultimate analysis, high sexual fantasies, that al-
divorce rates and break- lows women in cultures
like ours to age more
downs of marriage do not
gracefully rather than
go in favour of women,
live in mortal dread of
one reason being that as
wrinkles, grey hair, sag-
they advance in years, ging breasts and bulging
they find it harder and waistlines. Women in
harder to find marriage India do not need to
partners, since men seem waste quite as much time
to prefer, and many are in being seductive to men
able to get, younger Courtesy: Aditi and can invest far more
women. The notion that energy into building
women must remain attractive sex expected to be pleasing to a vast range other relationships, especially with
partners forever puts an enormously of people and not just one man. This other women.
unrealistic burden on western women, plays an important role in ensuring
many of whom go to ridiculous lengths If the culture of beauty contests
that popular norms of beauty are not
to stay young and trim because in roles takes root in India, it will erode some
entirely male defined, as in the West.
other than sex partners they get much of the areas of strength traditionally
The relative stability of marriage available to women in India. It brings
less attention from men.
and family life in India frees women in vicious forms of competitiveness
In the West, even after feminists from the pressure to stay forever young among women and makes them self-
made beauty contests less respectable and wrinkle free. Especially in a joint hating as they get excessively self-in-
among the elite, women continue to family setup, the stability of the volved and begin to look upon other
be under tremendous pressure to be marriage is to a large extent decided women as rivals and competitors, des-
sexually interesting to men and try to by how well a woman manages to get perate for a certain kind of male
mould their bodies to be copies of along with the various members of her attention. It makes them more and
models in fashion magazines. Most husband’s family — his mother, broth- more unidimensional creatures who
western fashions, designed mostly by ers, sisters, aunts and uncles. For are more easily manipulated by men
men, emphasise sexual provocative- these people, her youthful good looks because they see themselves mostly
ness in women’s clothing. By con- are of subsidiary importance and other through the eyes of men. While mil-
trast, in cultures like India’s, a woman human qualities far more valued. A lions of men indulge in sexual fanta-
might even jeopardise her chances of woman who gets along with the rest sies about Sushmita and Aishwarya, I
marriage by dressing up provocatively. of the family has some support against cannot imagine young men wishing
While the system of family arranged being deserted by her husband because they had them as a sister or too many
marriages in India has many draw- the rest of the family would join in to fathers/mothers being anxious to have
backs, there are several advantages to keep the man on a leash. The stigma them as daughters. They tend to pro-
it including the fact that a woman’s attached to divorced men may not be voke only two kinds of responses:
chances for marriage are not largely as strong as it is for women, but it is sexual excitement in men and envy,
dependent on whether or not men find sufficiently strong to make a majority or even hostility, among women. In
her sexually attractive, as happens in of the men learn to make the effort my experience, a woman who only
the West where self-arranged mar- required to keep their marriages in- invites envy or hostility among other
riages are the norm. Since the entire tact, even when they do not get along women becomes a very insecure per-
family takes an active part in select- with their wives or feel attracted to son despite all the adulation she may
ing a bride, in India a woman is other women. get from men. #

No. 88 19