Anxiety: What Is Bullying?
Anxiety: What Is Bullying?
Anxiety: What Is Bullying?
Bullying is a distinctive pattern of harming and humiliating others, specifically those who are in some way
smaller, weaker, younger or in any way more vulnerable than the bully. Bullying is not garden-variety
aggression; it is a deliberate and repeated attempt to cause harm to others of lesser power.
It's a very durable behavioral style, largely because bullies get what they want—at least at first. Bullies are
made, not born, and it happens at an early age, if the normal aggression of 2-year-olds isn't handled with
consistency.
Studies show that bullies lack prosocial behavior, are untroubled by anxiety, and do not understand others'
feelings. They misread the intentions of others, often imputing hostility in neutral situations. They typically see
themselves quite positively. Those who chronically bully have strained relationships with parents and peers.
Bullies couldn't exist without victims, and they don't pick on just anyone; those singled out
lack assertiveness even in nonthreatening situations and radiate fear long before they ever encounter a bully.
Bullies engage in a "shopping process" to determine which children would make suitably submissive victims.
Increasingly, children are growing up without the kinds of play experiences in which children develop social
skills and learn how to solve social problems.
Adults have a role to play in making their children bully-proof—equipping their kids with self-confidence. They
also would be wise to regularly ask their children how peers treat them. Too often, children are ashamed to tell
parents about being bullied. In addition to modeling assertiveness at home, and making sure that their children
know how and feel free to speak up for themselves, parents can enroll children in groups that train young people
in social skills.
The definition of bullying is physical or verbal aggression that is repeated over a period and, in contrast
to meanness, involves an imbalance of power.
While hazing also involves aggression over a period, bullying excludes the victim from a group while
hazing is part of initiation of the victim into a group.
Twenty-eight percent of young people from grades six through 12 have been the victim of bullying.
Teachers often underestimate how much bullying is occurring at their schools.
Parents are aware their child is being bullied only about half the time.
Contrary to popular belief, bullies who have never been bullied themselves often have been found to
have rather high self-esteem and to be social climbers.
Bystanders of bullying tend to succumb to what they believe is peer pressure to support bullying
behavior and fear of becoming the victim.
Bullying can have significantly negative outcomes, for both the bully and the victim.
There are a number of approaches that victims and bystanders of bullying, as well as parents, school,
and work personnel can use to discourage bullying at school or in the workplace.