Coping with Depression

When you’re depressed, you can’t just will yourself to “snap out of it.”
But these tips can help put you on the road to recovery.

Why is dealing with depression so difficult?

Depression drains your energy, hope, and drive, making it difficult to take the steps that will
help you to feel better. Sometimes, just thinking about the things you should do to feel
better, like exercising or spending time with friends, can seem exhausting or impossible to
put into action.

It’s the Catch-22 of depression recovery: The things that help the most are the things that
are the most difficult to do. There is a big difference, however, between something that’s
difficult and something that’s impossible. While recovering from depression isn’t quick or
easy, you do have more control than you realize—even if your depression is severe and
stubbornly persistent. The key is to start small and build from there. You may not have much
energy, but by drawing on all your reserves, you should have enough to take a walk around
the block or pick up the phone to call a loved one, for example.

Taking the first step is always the hardest. But going for a walk or getting up and dancing to
your favorite music, for example, is something you can do right now. And it can substantially
boost your mood and energy for several hours—long enough to put a second recovery step
into action, such as preparing a mood-boosting meal or arranging to meet an old friend. By
taking the following small but positive steps day by day, you’ll soon lift the heavy fog of
depression and find yourself feeling happier, healthier, and more hopeful again.

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Coping with depression tip 1: Reach out and stay
connected
Getting support plays an essential role in overcoming depression. On your own, it can be
difficult to maintain a healthy perspective and sustain the effort required to beat depression.
At the same time, the very nature of depression makes it difficult to reach out for help.
When you’re depressed, the tendency is to withdraw and isolate so that connecting to even
close family members and friends can be tough.

You may feel too exhausted to talk, ashamed at your situation, or guilty for neglecting
certain relationships. But this is just the depression talking. Staying connected to other
people and taking part in social activities will make a world of difference in your mood and
outlook. Reaching out is not a sign of weakness and it won’t mean you’re a burden to others.
Your loved ones care about you and want to help. And if you don’t feel that you have anyone
to turn to, it’s never too late to build new friendships and improve your support network.

How to reach out for depression support

Look for support from people who make you feel safe and cared for. The person you
talk to doesn’t have to be able to fix you; they just need to be a good listener—someone
who’ll listen attentively and compassionately without being distracted or judging you.

Make face-time a priority. Phone calls, social media, and texting are great ways to stay in
touch, but they don’t replace good old-fashioned in-person quality time. The simple act of
talking to someone face to face about how you feel can play a big role in relieving
depression and keeping it away.

Try to keep up with social activities even if you don’t feel like it. Often when you’re
depressed, it feels more comfortable to retreat into your shell, but being around other
people will make you feel less depressed.

Find ways to support others. It’s nice to receive support, but research shows you get an
even bigger mood boost from providing support yourself. So find ways—both big and
small—to help others: volunteer, be a listening ear for a friend, do something nice for
somebody.

Care for a pet. While nothing can replace the human connection, pets can bring joy and
companionship into your life and help you feel less isolated. Caring for a pet can also get

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you outside of yourself and give you a sense of being needed—both powerful antidotes to
depression.

Join a support group for depression. Being with others dealing with depression can go a
long way in reducing your sense of isolation. You can also encourage each other, give and
receive advice on how to cope, and share your experiences.

10 tips for staying connected

1. Talk to one person about your feelings

2. Help someone else by volunteering
3. Have lunch or coffee with a friend
4. Ask a loved one to check in with you regularly
5. Accompany someone to the movies, a concert, or a small get-together
6. Call or email an old friend
7. Go for a walk with a workout buddy
8. Schedule a weekly dinner date
9. Meet new people by taking a class or joining a club
10. Confide in a clergy member, teacher, or sports coach

Tip 2: Do things that make you feel good

In order to overcome depression, you have to do things that relax and energize you. This
includes following a healthy lifestyle, learning how to better manage stress, setting limits on
what you’re able to do, and scheduling fun activities into your day.

Do things you enjoy (or used to)

While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can push yourself to
do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better you
feel once you’re out in the world. Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll
gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.

Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through
music, art, or writing. Go out with friends. Take a day trip to a museum, the mountains, or
the ballpark.

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Support your health

Aim for eight hours of sleep. Depression typically involves sleep problems; whether
you’re sleeping too little or too much, your mood suffers. Get on a better sleep schedule by
learning healthy sleep habits.

Keep stress in check. Not only does stress prolong and worsen depression, but it can also
trigger it. Figure out all the things in your life that stress you out, such as work overload,
money problems, or unsupportive relationships, and find ways to relieve the pressure and
regain control.

Practice relaxation techniques. A daily relaxation practice can help relieve symptoms of
depression, reduce stress, and boost feelings of joy and well-being. Try yoga, deep
breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or meditation.

Develop a “wellness toolbox” to deal with depression

Come up with a list of things that you can do for a quick mood boost. The more “tools” for
coping with depression you have, the better. Try and implement a few of these ideas each
day, even if you’re feeling good.

1. Spend some time in nature

2. List what you like about yourself
3. Read a good book
4. Watch a funny movie or TV show
5. Take a long, hot bath
6. Take care of a few small tasks
7. Play with a pet
8. Talk to friends or family face-to-face
9. Listen to music
10. Do something spontaneous

Tip 3: Get moving

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 When you’re depressed, just getting out of
bed can seem like a daunting task, let alone working out! But exercise is a powerful
depression fighter—and one of the most important tools in your recovery arsenal. Research
shows that regular exercise can be as effective as medication for relieving depression
symptoms. It also helps prevent relapse once you’re well.

To get the most benefit, aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. This doesn’t have to
be all at once—and it’s okay to start small. A 10-minute walk can improve your mood for two
hours.

Exercise is something you can do right now to boost your mood

Your fatigue will improve if you stick with it. Starting to exercise can be difficult when
you’re depressed and feeling exhausted. But research shows that your energy levels will
improve if you keep with it. Exercise will help you to feel energized and less fatigued, not
more.

Find exercises that are continuous and rhythmic. The most benefits for depression
come from rhythmic exercise—such as walking, weight training, swimming, martial arts, or
dancing—where you move both your arms and legs.

Add a mindfulness element, especially if your depression is rooted in unresolved trauma

or fed by obsessive, negative thoughts. Focus on how your body feels as you move—such as
the sensation of your feet hitting the ground, or the feeling of the wind on your skin, or the
rhythm of your breathing.

Pair up with an exercise partner. Not only does working out with others enable you to
spend time socializing, it can also help to keep you motivated. Try joining a running club,

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taking a water aerobics or dance class, seeking out tennis partners, or enrolling in a soccer
or volleyball league.

Take a dog for a walk. If don’t own a dog, you can volunteer to walk homeless dogs for an
animal shelter or rescue group. You’ll not only be helping yourself but also be helping to
socialize and exercise the dogs, making them more adoptable.

Tip 4: Eat a healthy, depression-fighting diet

What you eat has a direct impact on the way you feel. Reduce your intake of foods that can
adversely affect your brain and mood, such as caffeine, alcohol, trans fats, and foods with
high levels of chemical preservatives or hormones (such as certain meats).

Don’t skip meals. Going too long between meals can make you feel irritable and tired, so
aim to eat something at least every three to four hours.

Minimize sugar and refined carbs. You may crave sugary snacks, baked goods, or
comfort foods such as pasta or French fries, but these “feel-good” foods quickly lead to a
crash in mood and energy. Aim to cut out as much of these foods as possible.

Boost your B vitamins. Deficiencies in B vitamins such as folic acid and B-12 can trigger
depression. To get more, take a B-complex vitamin supplement or eat more citrus fruit, leafy
greens, beans, chicken, and eggs.

Boost your mood with foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3 fatty acids play an
essential role in stabilizing mood. The best sources are fatty fish such as salmon, herring,
mackerel, anchovies, sardines, tuna, and some cold-water fish oil supplements.

Tip 5: Get a daily dose of sunlight

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Sunlight can help boost serotonin levels and improve your mood. Whenever possible, get
outside during daylight hours and expose yourself to the sun for at least 15 minutes a day.
Remove sunglasses (but never stare directly at the sun) and use sunscreen as needed.

Take a walk on your lunch break, have your coffee outside, enjoy an al fresco meal,
or spend time gardening.

Double up on the benefits of sunlight by exercising outside. Try hiking, walking in a

local park, or playing golf or tennis with a friend.

Increase the amount of natural light in your home and workplace by opening blinds
and drapes and sitting near windows.

If you live somewhere with little winter sunshine, try using a light therapy box.

Dealing with the winter blues

For some people, the reduced daylight hours of winter lead to a form of depression known
as seasonal affective disorder (SAD). SAD can make you feel like a completely different
person to who you are in the summer: hopeless, sad, tense, or stressed, with no interest in
friends or activities you normally love. No matter how hopeless you feel, though, there are
plenty of things you can do to keep your mood stable throughout the year.

Tip 6: Challenge negative thinking

Do you feel like you’re powerless or weak? That bad things happen and there’s not much
you can do about it? That your situation is hopeless? Depression puts a negative spin on
everything, including the way you see yourself and your expectations for the future.

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When these types of thoughts overwhelm you, it’s important to remember that this is a
symptom of your depression and these irrational, pessimistic attitudes—known as cognitive
distortions—aren’t realistic. When you really examine them they don’t hold up. But even so,
they can be tough to give up. You can’t break out of this pessimistic mind frame by telling
yourself to “just think positive.” Often, it’s part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s
become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. Rather, the trick is to identify
the type of negative thoughts that are fueling your depression, and replace them with a
more balanced way of thinking.

Negative, unrealistic ways of thinking that fuel depression

All-or-nothing thinking – Looking at things in black-or-white categories, with no middle
ground (“If everything is not perfect, I’m a total failure.”)
Overgeneralization – Generalizing from a single negative experience, expecting it to hold
true forever (“I had a bad date, I’ll never find anyone.”)
The mental filter – Ignoring positive events and focusing on the negative. Noticing the
one thing that went wrong, rather than all the things that went right. (“I got the last
question on the test wrong. I’m an idiot.”)
Diminishing the positive – Coming up with reasons why positive events don’t count (“She
said she had a good time on our date, but I think she was just being nice.”)
Jumping to conclusions – Making negative interpretations without actual evidence. You
act like a mind reader (“He must think I’m pathetic”) or a fortune teller (“I’ll be stuck in
this dead-end job forever.”)
Emotional reasoning – Believing that the way you feel reflects reality (“I feel like such a
loser. Everyone must be laughing at me!”)
‘Shoulds’ and ‘should-nots’ – Holding yourself to a strict list of what you should and
shouldn’t do, and beating yourself up if you don’t live up to your rules. (“I should never
have interviewed for that job. I’m an idiot for thinking I could get it.”)
Labeling – Classifying yourself based on mistakes and perceived shortcomings (“I’m a
failure; an idiot; a loser.”)

Put your thoughts on the witness stand

Once you identify the destructive thoughts patterns that contribute to your depression, you
can start to challenge them with questions such as:

“What’s the evidence that this thought is true? Not true?”

“What would I tell a friend who had this thought?”

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 “Is there another way of looking at the situation or an alternate explanation?”

“How might I look at this situation if I didn’t have depression?”

As you cross-examine your negative thoughts, you may be surprised at how quickly they
crumble. In the process, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective and help to relieve your
depression.

When to get professional help for depression

If you’ve taken self-help steps and made positive lifestyle changes and still find your
depression getting worse, seek professional help. Needing additional help doesn’t mean
you’re weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you’re a
lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better!

Don’t forget about these self-help tips, though. Even if you’re receiving professional help,
these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing
depression from returning.

Get more help

Back from the Bluez – Self-help modules for coping with depression. (Center for Clinical
Interventions)

How Depression Causes Negative ‘Spin’ – Common cognitive distortions and how to change
them. (clinical-depression.co.uk)

Depression hotlines

In the U.S.: Find DBSA Chapters/Support Groups or call the NAMI Helpline for support and
referrals at 1-800-950-6264

UK: Find Depression support groups in-person and online or call the Mind Infoline at 0300

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123 3393

Australia: Find Support Groups and regional resources or call the SANE Help Centre at
1800 18 7263

India: Call the Vandrevala Foundation Helpline (India) at 1860 2662 345 or 1800 2333 330

Canada: Call Mood Disorders Society of Canada at 519-824-5565

Suicide prevention help

In the U.S.: Call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

UK and Ireland: Call Samaritans UK at 116 123

Australia: Call Lifeline Australia at 13 11 14

Other countries: Visit IASP or International Suicide Hotlines to find a helpline near you

Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last
updated: October 2019.

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