Family Theological Foundation

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Simone Mulieri Twibell

Dr. Kiesling
Family Discipleship
January 10, 2011

Theological Foundations of Family Systems


Although the concept of family has had different expressions in every generation,

it has always been significant to our existence as human beings created in the image of

God. Relationality is the primary way in which people display God’s image. When God

created man He said, “Let us make man in our image” (Gen. 1:26) and invited the other

two members of the Trinity to participate in the creation of the Homo sapiens. After God

created man He saw that it was not good for man to be alone, so He made him a

companion, a helper: the woman. From the very beginning of time, God meant for man

and woman to be united with each other in one flesh and to leave father and mother (Gen.

2:24). This is the very first reference to a family system in the Word of God. It is pre-

supposed that every human being will have a mother and a father from which they come

and that it is meant for those individuals to seek to be in communal relationship.

In some way, family relationships are comparable to the divine model of the

Trinity. Just as there are three distinct persons who indwell each other and form one God,

so are family members to mutually indwell one another to form one family. Whether that

family refers to the nuclear, extended or blended families, the most important concept

underlying the foundational understanding of family structures can perhaps be described

in the Greek word “perichoresis.” According to Seamands,

“Perichoresis conveys a number of different ideas: reciprocity, interchange,


giving to and receiving from one another, being drawn to one another and
contained in the other, interpenetrating one another by drawing life from and
pouring life into one another as a fellowship of love” (142, emphasis mine).
The interdependency described in this word is another way to expound on the

universal experience of every individual. The phrases “drawing life from” and “pouring

life into” portray a beautiful picture of what a healthy family structure does for each

other. In unhealthy patterns, this balance is often eroded by examples where, for instance,

a dependent child drains the energy of a co-dependent mother by “drawing life” from her

while the mother feels exhausted by the repeated efforts to pour life into her child. This

dynamic often leads to a vicious cycle that encourages detrimental patterns. .

Balswick and Balswick suggest that the main aspect of family spirituality “centers

on each family member achieving a differentiated faith” (147). First, it is important that

each member arrives to the maturation of their faith as they anchor their lives and form

their identify in Christ. Family relationships become the means for growth of each

individual as the children learn from the parent’s model and the parents learn from a

child-like faith. However, although a family may be fundamental in the development and

journey of Christian discipleship, it is indispensable that a family be guided by a larger

faith community. Thompson says that “the role the church needs to recognize and recover

in relation to its member families is that of facilitator” (43). The Church exists to train

and empower families in order to help them connect with God and with each other.

Reggie Joiner in his book Think Orange compares the average hours that a church

and a family have in a given year to influence a life. He says that whereas church has

about 40 hours a year a family possesses nearly 3,000 hours! Joiner’s premise in this

book is that the problem is not that parents do not want to train their children in the faith

but rather that they do not know how. He concludes by saying that “churches need

leaders to do less for kids and more for families” (91). Perhaps a practical way of
capacitating families is through the creation of a devotional guide that goes along with

the sermon series and may help facilitate a time of questions and answers that would be

more family-friendly than a sermon. Another means is to provide home groups where the

whole family is involved and one or both of the parents is trained on a weekly basis to

lead their families in life discipleship.

Thompson also suggests that “the most vital service a congregation can provide

for its families is genuine affirmation and support for the central role that domestic

church plays in Christian spiritual formation” (138). Because families are usually

overwhelmed in light of the demands that schedules and responsibilities play on them,

they do not need one more thing to do. But families do need to reprioritize their values

and goals in order to establish a model of Christian discipleship within their homes.

The human family is perhaps the most important category in God’s created order

where we can see something profound in the beauty of the divine love that is shed in the

hearts of those who seek to walk according to God’s ways. It is both interesting and

comforting to know that even the characters of the Bible do not always model great

parenting or perfect family dynamics. Because after the Fall human beings inherited sin

from their predecessors and with sin came weaknesses and imperfections, we all struggle

to reflect the Trinitarian model that is built on the idea of perichoresis. Nevertheless, we

must look to God for grace and strength to attain personal differentiation in our family

relationships.

Works Cited
Balswick, Jack O. and Judith K. Balswick. The Family: A Christian Perspective on the
Contemporary Home. Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 1999.

Joiner, Reggie. Think Orange. Colorado Springs: David C. Cook, 2009

Seamands, Stephen. Ministry in the Image of God. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2005

Thompson, Marjorie. Family: The Forming Center. Nashville: Upper Room Books, 1996.

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