Thanks, That Was Fun Nathan Brown

Scene 1:

(Lights up on the lobby of The Open String Café. Patrons sit at the many tables, some chatting and others sipping
drinks. A pair of waitresses walks between the tables checking on guests and the owner is wiping down the counter
upstage left. Upstage center there is a microphone on a stand with a stool behind it. After a few moments, JANE
and JIM enter from stage right and sit at an empty table together.)

JANE Remind me why we’re here, Jim. Didn’t you invite this group to your studio?

JIM Yeah, but for some reason their front girl said she wanted to play their audition here.

JANE I don’t get it. Why would you agree to that?

JIM She mentioned something about not being able to get everyone to the studio at the same time.
Besides, I’d like to hear them perform in a place where they’ll be comfortable. As far as I understand,
none of them have been in a professional environment before.

JANE And you trust them to suddenly turn professional if you strike a deal with them?

JIM They want to hit it big, hon. They can’t do that without a demo, and none of them have any recording
experience.

JANE So what are you planning to do?

JIM If they do well I’ll agree to produce their demo CD for them. If that goes over well then they’ll agree
to use my studio for their coming releases.

JANE There’s not a lot of money in that, Jim.

JIM Oh, come on, Jane. You know this project studio is only a supplement to our income. Besides, I’ve
already poured too much money into this to just let it go now. Better to get something out of it. Then
all the local groups might start taking notice and word will get around that there’s a new and
affordable studio in town.

JANE Well, I suppose that makes sense. Just as long as you aren’t planning to make this your sole source of
money.

JIM Of course not. You know our work with our shops in the city takes precedence.

JANE I’m sorry. I don’t mean to rain on your parade, dear. I just keep wondering why you’re putting so
much effort into this.

JIM Simple. There are a lot of up and coming artists in this area and they need someone who can help
them get their music out there. It would be a shame to see talent go to waste when these people
have a chance to get somewhere with what they love to do.

JANE You always did say you love music.

JIM Exactly, Jane, and doing this is the best way to support it without making it myself. (pauses as his cell
phone rings and takes it out of his pocket to answer it) Hello? Oh, hi! When did you get here? Oh, I
see. Well, you want me to meet you there? Yeah, there’s time. Okay, let’s meet up. I’ll see you soon.
(puts the cell phone away, then rises) Looks like my sister made it back okay. She’s at Dad’s home.

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JANE You’re heading out to go meet her, I take it?

JIM Yeah. I should be back soon, though. Can you stay amused until then?

JANE Sure. It’s open mic night, after all. I’ll just have some coffee and relax.

JIM Okay. (leans down and kisses Jane on the cheek) I’ll be right back. (starts to exit stage right)

(ROBBIE enters stage right with a guitar case slung over his shoulder, accidentally bumping into Jim as he is on the
way out)

ROBBIE Oops. Sorry about that. (walks toward the stool in the back, greeting some of the patrons as he
passes)

JANE (watching Robbie as he walks up to the mic) It couldn’t be.

ROBBIE (sits down at the microphone, giving it a tap to test it then speaking into it) Hi, there. I know it’s a little
early to start the open mic, but I just can’t resist starting it off. That is, if the owners don’t mind.

OWNER Not at all, Robbie. So long as it gets you off the stage sooner. (laughs along with the patrons)

ROBBIE (puts his guitar case on the ground and starts to take out his instrument) Yeah, yeah. Sure have
missed your snarky wit. (puts the guitar on his lap) Here’s one of my new ones. It’s dedicated to the
girl I left behind.

OWNER Oh, how cute.

Song 1: Jane
The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. Clair
Was dazzled by her smile while I shopped there
it wasn't long before I lived with her
I sang her songs while she dyed my hair

Jane, divided, but I can't decide what side I'm on

Jane decided only cowards stay, while traitors run
Jane, Jane

I'd bring her gold and frankincense and myrrh

She thought that I was making fun of her
She made me feel I was fourteen again
That's why she thinks it's cooler if we'd just stay friends

Jane doesn't think a man could ever be faithful

Jane isn't giving me a chance to be shameful
Jane, Jane

I wrote a letter, she should have got it yesterday

That life could be better by being together
is what I cannot explain to Jane

The girl works at the store, sweet Jane St. Clair

Was dazzled by her smile while I shoplift there

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No promises as vague as Heaven

No Juliana next to my Evan

Jane, desired by the people at her school and work

Jane is tired, 'cause every man becomes a lovesick jerk
Jane, Jane

ROBBIE (places his guitar in its case again, pushing it gently aside as the patrons all clap) Thanks, everyone.
Hope you enjoyed it. (rises from his seat, walking toward Jane’s table)

JANE (takes Robbie by the arm to get his attention) As I recall, you never shoplifted in your life. Your lyrics
are a lie.

ROBBIE Jane? What brings you here?

JANE I’m waiting for someone. And what of yourself? Did your plans in the city not work out after all?

ROBBIE Actually, they’re working out just fine. Nice of you to ask.

JANE Well, it’s hard to find these things out when you don’t even keep in touch.

ROBBIE Wait a sec. Did I just hear you right?

JANE I don’t know. What did you think I said?

ROBBIE You actually want me to be in touch?

JANE Oh, good. You’re listening.

ROBBIE You surprised me enough by stopping me to talk. Now you’re saying we should trade numbers again?
You’ll give this poor boy a heart attack.

JANE Why would that be surprising, Robbie? You act like I should be upset with you.

ROBBIE Well, frankly, I thought you would be.

JANE I’ll admit, I was for awhile. I guess I came to realize you made the right choice for both of us.

ROBBIE And how did you come to that?

JANE Slowly and carefully.

ROBBIE Clever as always. So, how long do you think you’ll be waiting?

JANE Not too long. Why?

ROBBIE Maybe we could take this time to catch up.

JANE If you wanted, but there’s not much to talk about.

ROBBIE Could we continue this outside?

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JANE Are you sure? It’s a bit cold out there.

ROBBIE If you’re okay with it, I can survive.

JANE I guess I’m alright with that. (rises from her seat)

(Lights down. Curtain closes)

Scene 2:

(Lights up on the street outside The Open String Café. Robbie and Jane stand next to the door of the café.)

JANE So why is it that you couldn’t say all of this inside? It’s really not that big a deal.

ROBBIE It is to me.

JANE Why does it still bother you so much, Robbie? It was 3 years ago.

ROBBIE Maybe I feel guilty. Like I did some kind of damage I haven’t really fixed yet.

JANE There’s nothing to fix.

ROBBIE I’ve been a pain to you ever since high school.

JANE Why are you digging up that old story, Rob?

ROBBIE Because I was shortsighted and I dragged you into something that neither of us was really fit for at
the time. That still bothers me.

JANE So we broke up before graduation. That hardly matters anymore. We’ve both had more than long
enough to get over it.

ROBBIE Now, that I agree with. That’s not what’s eating at me.

JANE Oh. Then this is about the second time.

ROBBIE Right.

JANE I’m a bit surprised by that.

ROBBIE Still gets to you, too?

JANE Sometimes. I have to admit, I’ve been wondering how you truly felt about the way it ended.

ROBBIE That’s what I need to get off my chest.

JANE What possessed you to give it another go in the first place?

ROBBIE Why do I sense a long story coming on?

JANE The whole thing is still a mystery to me. There’s no need to go all the way back, but start wherever it
seems best.

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ROBBIE Then I guess the real tale started when I first met Brian Wilson.

JANE Your old bandmate? What does he have to do with you and I?

ROBBIE Well, let’s just say I had never quite gotten over our break-up and when I auditioned for Brian the
following year he accidentally opened up an old wound.

(Lights down.)

Scene 3:

(Curtain opens. Lights up on a small garage where BRIAN WILSON waits on a chair with an electric guitar in his lap.
His bandmates ED and ANDY are there as well on electric bass and drums respectively.)

BRIAN Wonder where the new guy is. He should have been here ten minutes ago.

ED Give him some time, Brian. It always takes people a long time to find this place.

BRIAN You know, I’ve noticed that, too. Why is that?

ANDY Could be that you give out terrible directions.

BRIAN Hey! It’s not my fault people have a problem following them.

ED Dude, you don’t even tell them street names.

ANDY You tend to go by landmarks.

BRIAN So?

ANDY So not everyone is familiar with the area.

BRIAN It’s not that hard.

ED Go to where the old Rhodes 101 used to be, then turn left. You’ll go past a car wash and a little hole-
in-the-wall Chinese restaurant. Keep following that road for 6 blocks then hang a right. My home is
the green one in the middle of the cul-de-sac. Is that what you told the poor guy?

BRIAN Touché.

ROBBIE (enters stage right with a pocket folder under his arm, almost tripping in his haste) Hi! Sorry I’m late!

BRIAN Well. Speak of the devil.

ROBBIE Sheesh. He hates me already and I haven’t sang a note yet.

BRIAN (chuckles to himself) Nice. So what happened?

ROBBIE Huh?

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BRIAN What kept you?

ROBBIE Oh. I just had some trouble finding the place.

ED Called it.

ANDY On the money.

BRIAN It’s no big deal, anyway. Did you bring in that song you said you were working on?

ROBBIE Yeah. I have all the parts right here. (opens the folder and takes out a few sheets of music, passing
them to the band members)

BRIAN (accepts the sheet and looks it over, nodding slightly) Nice title. Interesting lyrics. You want us to try
it?

ROBBIE Sure. I guess.

ED Pardon us if we mess up. Andy sucks at sight-reading.

ANDY Don’t listen to him. I just can’t carry a tune.

BRIAN Alright, guys, enough talk. Let’s play.

Song 2: Testing 1, 2, 3
Maybe it would be fun
To get a new opinion
Get a little work done
And forget

Maybe it would be cool

If I rocked it old school
Try to break a gold rule
And a sweat

Better than the first time

Better than the worst time
If I could just reverse time
I'd be set

[CHORUS:]
Testing 1, 2, 3
Can anybody hear me?
If I shed the irony
Would anybody cheer me?
If I acted less like me
Would I be in the clear?

She got a new apartment

It's out on the escarpment
And in her glove compartment
Are my songs

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She hasn't even heard them

Since she found out what the words meant
She decided she preferred them
All wrong

Kind of like the last time

With a bunch of really fast rhymes
If we're living in the past I'm
Soon gone

[CHORUS]

We recognize the present

Is half as pleasant
As our nostalgia for

The past'll be presented

Recast and reinvented
Until it's how we meant it

[CHORUS]

Begin the...
[CHORUS ]
Would I be in the clear, G?

Testing 1, 2, 3
Testing 1, 2, 3

BRIAN Nice one, guys. Very nice!

ROBBIE So you like it?

BRIAN Yeah. Not bad at all. (stands up and extends an open hand to Robbie) Robbie, right?

ROBBIE That’s me.

BRIAN Since I forgot to introduce you. I’m Brian. These two are Ed and Andy.

ED Hey.

ANDY Pleasure.

BRIAN And you’re our fourth member. Haven’t heard vocals like yours in a long time and we could really use
you.

ROBBIE I’m in? After just one song?

BRIAN No need to go overboard and have you sing your whole repertoire. I’m convinced. Besides, another
songwriter is always a plus.

ROBBIE (takes Brian’s hand and shakes it eagerly) Thanks, Brian! You won’t regret it!

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BRIAN Hey, no problem! (lets go of Robbie’s hand) So, can you meet us here same time next week?

ROBBIE Sure. I’ve got nothing else going on.

ED Should we pack up for the day, then?

ANDY I need to get home, anyway. My sister’s coming home from the hospital today.

BRIAN That’s cool. Just remember, next week we hit it hard and show Robbie that we mean business.

ANDY Sure. (places his drumsticks on the snare and gets up to exit)

ED See you then, Brian. (stands and exits stage right alongside Andy)

ROBBIE Guess I should be off, too.

BRIAN I do have a question for you, though.

ROBBIE What is it?

BRIAN I can’t help but notice. You seemed a bit down the whole way through that song. You’re not getting
over some kind of loss, are you?

ROBBIE No. Not really.

BRIAN Fair enough. See you next week, Robbie. Bring anything your working on along with that voice. (exits
stage left)

ROBBIE No problem.

(Lights down.)

ROBBIE (VO) Of course, I was lying. A little, anyway.

JANE (VO) A little? What do you mean?

ROBBIE (VO) I’d tried to convince myself for an entire year that I was over you, Jane, and that when you told
me goodbye it was for good.

JANE (VO) That must not have worked too well. If I recall, you found me shortly thereafter again.

ROBBIE (VO) How could I forget? It was on Friday of the following week. Of all places, though, your parents’
clothing store?

JANE (VO) You expected me to be completely on my own, right?

ROBBIE (VO) You always were an independent type of girl. I assumed.

JANE (VO) You know what they say about that.

ROBBIE (VO) Of course. I remember how awkward the meeting was, though. For both of us.

JANE (VO) I wasn’t sure what to say. Were you?

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ROBBIE (VO) I had things I wanted to say, yeah, but for some reason I had trouble getting it to come out.

JANE (VO) So what happened after you left the shop?

ROBBIE (VO) Nothing until the next day. That’s when the band met up for our first practice together.

(Lights up on the band in their same positions from before, instruments at the ready.)

BRIAN Good to see we all made it. Now, first order of business for the day is for us to come up with a new
name.

ED A new name? Why’s that?

BRIAN Well, since we have a new member to replace the one who left, I think it’s time we reinvent ourselves
as a group.

ANDY Besides, Miles To Go just doesn’t have a good ring to it.

BRIAN Good God, no. That’s the other reason.

ED I would like to know what we were drinking when we thought that was a good idea.

BRIAN Wasn’t that the night that I discovered Jaeger bombs cause time travel?

ANDY You mean that even you can’t hold that much liquor? Yeah, that’s the night.

ED That explains everything.

BRIAN No joke. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about it all week and I have a suggestion. How about “The Yellow
Jackets?”

ANDY Isn’t that the name of a jazz group?

BRIAN Yeah, but they don’t put a space between the words. We will.

ED So we’re changing our gimmick, too?

BRIAN Yeah. You know how Queen used to use costumes in all their concerts?

ANDY I wish we could have been around to see that.

BRIAN I was thinking we could do something similar, except we get matching yellow jackets of some kind
and each go out on stage with those on and t-shirts of different colors.

ED Hm. Well, it’s different. That’s for sure.

BRIAN Okay, I’ll admit. It’s not the best idea ever, but I’m still working on it. Robbie, what do you think of it?
(after a moment’s silence) Robbie!

ROBBIE Huh? Oh. Sorry. I guess I spaced out. What was all that?

ANDY Wow. Distracted much?

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ROBBIE I have something big on my mind, yeah.

BRIAN What is it?

ROBBIE It’s a bit of a long story.

ED Give us the short version, then.

ROBBIE You’ll probably think it’s stupid.

BRIAN Maybe, but you can’t be sure of that.

ROBBIE Not sure I can argue with that. Alright. Yesterday I ran into my ex from high school.

ANDY Let me guess. Got into a fight with her?

ROBBIE No, actually. We almost started up a conversation. Emphasis on ‘almost’, of course, but still-

ED Wait, wait, wait. You and your ex are on good terms?

ROBBIE Well, it’s been a year. Maybe she’s gotten over everything that made her leave.

BRIAN What exactly made her leave you?

ROBBIE Her family really didn’t approve of me.

ANDY That does tend to kill a lot of high school romances.

ED Sounds like you got off a lot easier than Brian did, anyway.

BRIAN Don’t even mention it.

ROBBIE Don’t mention what? You mean this happened to you, too?

BRIAN Did it ever! Don’t get me started on that girl!

ANDY They broke up when she went ballistic on him for no real good reason. Brian wasn’t himself for a long
time after that.

ROBBIE Sounds awful.

ED Oh, it was.

BRIAN I’m over it now, of course, and I realize that it was just a dumb mistake on my part.

Song 3: Enid
Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway

It took me a year to believe it was over

It took me two more to get over the loss

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I took a beating when you wrote me those letters

And every time I remembered the taste of your lip gloss

Enid we never really knew each other anyway

Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we never really knew each other anyway

There were times when I wanted to hurt you

And there were times when I know that I did
There were times when I thought I would kill you
But can you blame me I was only a kid

Now tell me why we never respected each other

And tell me why I never believed that you were a person too
I always thought that you fancied my brother
I may not have liked it, oh but
Memory is a strange thing, oh, and Enid?
Enid I remember you

Enid we never really knew each other anyway

Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Maybe we always saw right through each other anyway
But Enid we never really knew each other anyway

It took me a year to believe it was over

And it took me two more to get over the loss
I took a beating when you wrote me those letters
And every time you told me to get lost

Now it's not fair to say that

It's 'cause I was three inches shorter then
And it's not fair to say that
It's 'cause I was only fifteen years old
But maybe it's fair to say there was a lack of communication
I took a phone message, oh and speaking of communication
Oh, and Enid
Enid you got a cold

I can get a job, I can pay the phone bills

I can cut the lawn, cut my hair, cut out my cholesterol
I can work overtime, I can work in a mine
I can do it all for you but I don't want to

Enid we never really knew each other anyway

Enid we never really knew each other anyway
Enid we never really knew each other anyway

ROBBIE Well, so long as you’re over it then there’s nothing to worry about, right?

BRIAN Listen to me, Robbie. Don’t go after this girl.

ROBBIE Why not?

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BRIAN Ex-girlfriends are nothing but trouble waiting to happen. It’s not worth the headaches.

ROBBIE Don’t you mean heartache?

BRIAN Nope. For it to be a heartache you’d have to really love her. (interrupting Robbie before he has a
chance to answer) We’ll talk more later if you want. Right now we need to rehearse.

(Lights down. Curtain closes.)

ROBBIE (VO) Looking back, it would have been wiser to listen. I was fooling myself into thinking that I still felt
something.

JANE (VO) You had me convinced, though. Your enthusiasm was a little infectious.

ROBBIE (VO) Infectious? You make it sound like it was sickening.

JANE (VO) Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that you had a certainty in yourself that made me think
that perhaps we still had a chance with one another.

ROBBIE (VO) When did it come to that?

JANE (VO) When we ran into each other in the park.

ROBBIE (VO) Oh, yeah, how didn’t I guess? That was the Tuesday after the band’s rehearsal.

Scene 4:

(Curtain opens. Lights up on a public park with a bench upstage left where Jane sits reading a business
management textbook. A few PARKGOERS mingle about, talking amongst themselves.)

ROBBIE (enters from stage right, his guitar case slung over his shoulder as he ducks and weaves between the
other parkgoers) Where’s a good spot? (stops next to the bench where Jane is studying)

JANE (looks up from her book, then shakes her head) I’d know that confused look anywhere. You still don’t
go to the park much, do you?

ROBBIE Jane St. Clair? How is it that we keep running into each other?

JANE Funny coincidence, I guess, unless you’ve been following me like a lost puppy.

ROBBIE Why so hostile already? I’ve barely even said anything yet.

JANE Rob, I’m trying to study. I just got this textbook and I’d like to see what we’ll be covering when classes
start up again. Don’t you have anything better to do than pester me?

ROBBIE What has you so upset with me?

JANE I’m not upset. I just don’t want any distractions right now.

ROBBIE You didn’t seem to mind when I saw you at work.

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JANE Different place, different situation.

ROBBIE What exactly are you studying, then?

JANE Business management. I thought you knew I would be majoring in that.

ROBBIE Oh, right. You wanted to open up your own clothing shop in the city.

JANE Yeah. It’s good to know you remember.

ROBBIE Why would I forget?

JANE I would think you had forgotten about me.

ROBBIE You mean thrown you out of my mind altogether? No!

JANE Calm down! I wasn’t accusing you of anything.

ROBBIE Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.

JANE It’s alright.

ROBBIE So what did you mean, anyway?

JANE I mean I thought you would have moved on and let go of what we had in high school.

ROBBIE Perhaps I have, but that doesn’t mean we can’t stay friends, right?

JANE I suppose not, but why should I believe that’s all you want?

ROBBIE I can’t hide anything from you, can I?

JANE You’ll have to try a lot harder if you don’t want to be transparent.

ROBBIE Looks that way. Maybe I should just let it out, then.

Song 4: Falling for the First Time

I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser
I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out
I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby
I'm so fly, that's probably why it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so green, it's really amazing

I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me.
I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy
It's so strange, I can't believe it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost

Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?

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What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind

It feels just like I'm falling for the first time

It feels just like I'm falling for the first time

I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing

I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anything
I'm so thrilled to finally be failing
I'm so done, turn me over cause it
Feels just like I'm falling for the first time

Anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can be lost

Maybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the cost?
Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time?
What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind

JANE It’s been awhile since I’ve heard anyone say something that meaningful.

ROBBIE I’m glad you approve. I’ve been thinking about it ever since we met each other again.

JANE You really do want another shot at a relationship, don’t you? It means that much?

ROBBIE Like I said, I’m okay with being transparent. If you’re willing to give it another go, then I’m ready to
show you I have what it takes to be a man worth loving.

JANE Nice speech. Still as pointlessly flowery as you were back then.

ROBBIE Nice. In any case, I guess I should leave so you can get back to studying. (begins to exit stage left)
Maybe we should meet up sometime.

JANE You don’t have to go, you know. Stay and chat awhile if you want.

ROBBIE (pauses) Okay. That sounds like a plan. (sits down next to Jane on the bench)

(Lights down.)

Scene 5:

(Lights up on the bar area at Lucky Murphy’s Pub and Grill, a restaurant with obvious Irish influences. MURPHY, the
owner, is wiping down an empty mug behind the bar. BAR PATRONS sit at the nearby tables sipping
drinks or talking over food. ROBBIE, BRIAN, ANDY and ED all sit next to each other at the bar, laughing
amongst themselves)

ANDY And she threw it like a football right out into the hedge maze. Took us about an hour of digging
through that place to find it again.

BRIAN Tough break for you, then. Why do you keep going to the gardens with her, Andy?

ANDY Well, she’s my little sister. Family’s important, right? She loves walking through the butterfly house up
there.

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ED Little girl in every way, huh?

ANDY Pretty much.

ROBBIE Almost makes me wish I had a sibling.

BRIAN Oh. Finally, the quiet one speaks up.

ROBBIE Sorry. I was trying to listen.

BRIAN Well, I think it’s your turn to tell. How was your week?

ROBBIE I think I can top Andy’s story.

ED Oh, really? This should be good, then.

ROBBIE You all remember Jane St. Clair? My ex that I told you about?

BRIAN Uh-oh.

ROBBIE She and I are back together! Well, she doesn’t want to call it that, but that’s what it is!

ANDY Wait, wait, wait. How exactly did you manage that?

ROBBIE We met up in the park and talked things out.

ED How did you convince her to come back to you, Rob?

ROBBIE Well, I told her I was thinking of finally heading to college this year.

BRIAN Hold on. I thought you said you weren’t heading off to take any classes just yet.

ROBBIE Well, I suppose it was a little white lie.

BRIAN Dangerous thing to do, Robbie.

ROBBIE It’s alright. I went to the city the very next day and signed up for some classes.

ANDY What major did you declare?

ROBBIE Criminal justice. In fact, I enrolled in the police academy classes since their partnered with the
college.

ED You? A cop? Now that’s rich!

ROBBIE Oh, it gets better. She’s been looking for someone to sign on as a roommate for her apartment in the
city and she’s on a tight deadline. I offered to fill that spot and, after a couple days of talking to her
about it over breakfast at the Open String, she agreed.

BRIAN How exactly are you achieving all this?

ROBBIE Beats me. I guess there must still be something worthwhile between us after all.

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ANDY I have to hand it to you, Robbie. It’s a doozy of a story.

ED But, hey, at least you’ve taken a step toward finding happiness.

BRIAN And, even if it’s a bonehead move, you’re moving up in the world. Going to college and everything.

ROBBIE I’m not sure whether that’s supposed to be a compliment.

BRIAN I say we celebrate!

ANDY I like that idea!

ED Bring on the booze!

ROBBIE Wait. Booze?

BRIAN Of course, Rob. Why else would we be sitting at the bar?

ROBBIE Okay, I feel stupid for not realizing that.

BRIAN What’s wrong?

ROBBIE I don’t drink.

ANDY You’ve never had any alcohol at all?

ROBBIE Well, I did sneak one of my dad’s beers off when I was a kid. Swore off of the stuff after one sip.

ED That’s your problem right there. Now that you’ve grown up your taste buds will have matured a little.

ROBBIE Isn’t that just a myth?

BRIAN Don’t worry. You don’t have to do anything too hard. We’ll ease you in. (turns around to face
Murphy) Murphy?

MURPHY (speaking with a second generation Irish accent) Yeah?

BRIAN Three beers and a first-timer mix for my friend here.

MURPHY I see. Giving your friend an introduction to the wonderful world of barley water, are we? I’ll have it
ready in just a moment. (ducks beneath the bar for a glass)

ROBBIE A first-timer mix? You’re starting me with mixed drinks?

ANDY Don’t sweat it. It’s just a Captain and Coke.

ROBBIE Oh. I guess that doesn’t sound so bad.

BRIAN It’s how I got my start, and I’m no alcoholic.

MURPHY (hands four mugs to the men) There we are, lads. Drink it well.

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BRIAN Here’s to life, boys. Lift a glass!

ED Cheers!

(Lights dim. All on stage freeze in place.)

ROBBIE (VO) And that’s when I learned one of the most vital lessons of my life.

JANE (VO) Oh? And what’s that?

ROBBIE (VO) If Brian hands you something, don’t drink it!

(Lights up as the four bandmates all take a sip of their drinks.)

Song 5: Alcohol
Alcohol, my permanent accessory
Alcohol, a party-time necessity
Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself
O Alcohol, I still drink to your health

I love you more than I did the week before

I discovered alcohol

Forget the caffe latte,

screw the raspberry iced tea
A Malibu and Coke for you, a G&T for me
Alcohol, Your songs resolve like my life never will
When someone else is picking up the bill

I love you more than I did the week before

I discovered alcohol
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

I thought that Alcohol was just for those with

nothing else to do
I thought that drinking just to get drunk
was a waste of precious booze
But now I know that there's a time
and there's a place where I can choose
To walk the fine line between
self-control and self-abuse

I love you more than I did the week before

I discovered alcohol
O Alcohol, would you please forgive me?
For while I cannot love myself
I'll use something else

Would you please forgive me?

Would you please forgive me?

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(Lights down. Curtain closes.)

ROBBIE (VO) To this day, I still don’t know what was in that drink. I’m just glad Brian had enough sense not to
give me another one or I might have keeled over half dead.

JANE (VO) What possessed you to take a sip in the first place? That wasn’t exactly your smartest move
ever.

ROBBIE (VO) I know, I know. I guess I trusted Brian a little more than I should have.

JANE (VO) To say the least. And you do recall what that led to, right?

ROBBIE (VO) That’s the main reason why I regretted it. I don’t think I’d ever seen you that mad before.

JANE (VO) Can you blame me? We’d barely been back together, as you put it, for half a week and you were
already breaking your appointments. You’d promised to be there the next morning to help me move
everything into the apartment, but you were passed out at home and didn’t show up until that
afternoon.

ROBBIE (VO) And when I tried to apologize I only made it worse. We’d barely been together again for half a
week and I was already messing everything up for us.

JANE (VO) We had one week before classes began and I spent the whole time just trying to relax at home.

ROBBIE (VO) And I spent the whole time moping and feeling sorry for myself.

Scene 6:

Song 6: Pinch Me
(Spotlight on the door on stage right as Robbie enters through it)
It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside

It's like a dream, you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door
Take your time the way cause the way I rhyme gonna make ya smile, when ya
Realize that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for
(Robbie exits through curtain center)

(Spotlight on the door stage left as Jane enters through it)

It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
An' run through with my gym shorts on

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Take a drink right from the hose

An' change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon

It's like a dream, you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door
Take your time the way cause the way I rhyme gonna make ya smile, when ya
Realize that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for
(Jane removes her cell from her pocket, pantomiming answering it as she dances)

Pinch me
Pinch me
'Cos I'm still asleep
Please God
Tell me
That I'm still asleep
(Curtain opens to the Open String where Robbie and Brian sit at a table)

On an evening such as this

It's hard to tell if I exist
Packed the car an' leave this town
Who'll notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say "Underwear"
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway

It's like a dream, you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
Try to see the world beyond your front door
Take your time the way cause the way I rhyme gonna make ya smile, when ya
Realize that a guy my size might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for

Try to figure out what all this is for

Try to see the world beyond your front door
Try to figure out what all this is for

(Curtain closes as Robbie and Jane cross downstage center together)

ROBBIE I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t mean to abandon you like that.

JANE And I’m sorry for blowing up on you like I did. I know you didn’t miss the move on purpose.

ROBBIE I made a mess of it all, I know. I promise I won’t go drinking with Brian again anytime soon.

JANE I’m just a little worried, you know? I have a feeling that you’re no more responsible than you were a
year ago.

ROBBIE How can I make this up to you?

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JANE I’ll let you stay in the apartment on two conditions.

ROBBIE Name them.

JANE One, you have to keep attending your classes.

ROBBIE That’s not a problem.

JANE And two, you have to agree to take a job at my family’s shop on the weekends.

ROBBIE There’s an opening? I thought you all didn’t want anyone on a payroll.

JANE There’s been a problem with theft in the shop lately. Dad has a security system in place but he
doesn’t want to put any cameras in the dressing rooms.

ROBBIE Right. He always was big on privacy.

JANE Since you’re going for the police academy, consider it undercover training. Mom wants you to stay in
the shop during the day posing as a customer and check for shoplifters.

ROBBIE Can I just say that’s a bizarre idea?

JANE I agree, but I’ve got it all worked out with her and she’ll allow it. I just need for you to tell me you
agree.

ROBBIE If it’s what it takes to show you I’m serious about this, so be it.

(Lights down.)

JANE (VO) And things just proceeded from there. We spent the whole first semester together in the
apartment, going to classes during the week and working at the shop over the weekend.

ROBBIE (VO) To be brutally honest, I hated that job, even if it meant I got to spend more time with you.

JANE (VO) I could tell.

ROBBIE (VO) Part of the problem with being so easy to read, I guess. I didn’t bother to hide it.

JANE (VO) Nor did you bother to hide it when that girl walked into the store and started shopping.

ROBBIE (VO) Her name is Cheryl, Jane.

JANE (VO) I guess that means you two are still together then?

ROBBIE (VO) Of course. I mean, it’s hard to let go of someone like her when she could cause such a
disruption.

Scene 7:

(Curtain opens. Lights up on the clothing shop Uncommon Threads. ROBBIE pretends to look around the shop while
JANE sits at the register downstage right.)

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JANE Are you getting hungry, Robbie?

ROBBIE Yeah. Are you?

JANE Just a little. Would you like to take a break and grab something from the Open String for us?

ROBBIE I certainly wouldn’t mind.

JANE What’s wrong, Robbie? You sound on edge.

ROBBIE Oh, nothing. I’m just a little bored.

JANE Well, it has been a slow day. (rises) I’m heading to the back to see if Mom wants anything. (exits
upstage right)

CHERYL (enters from stage right and starts to look around as well)

ROBBIE (waving to Cheryl as she comes in) Hi there.

CHERYL Oh, hi! Aren’t you the vocalist from the Yellow Jackets?

ROBBIE Wait. You know about me?

CHERYL Of course! I’ve been at the Open String every time you and the group have played there!

ROBBIE You’re kidding!

CHERYL Nope! I have to say, I love the way you perform. So much energy, and I believe every word you sing!

ROBBIE Thanks! It’s always good to have a fan.

CHERYL I’ll admit, I used to go there for the open mics myself.

ROBBIE You sing, too?

CHERYL No. I’m a guitar player.

ROBBIE Acoustic or electric?

CHERYL Electric’s the only way to go!

ROBBIE Nice! Not often I see a girl who plays a guitar at all, much less electric.

CHERYL Actually, I’m in an all-girl rock band. They wanted me to switch over from acoustic when I first joined.

ROBBIE Why was that?

CHERYL It was just the kind of sound they wanted. I didn’t want to at first, but once I tried it it grew on me.

ROBBIE To each their own, I guess. Where did you learn to play?

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CHERYL I taught myself. My grandpa was used to play the guitar, too, but when he got too old to hear or play
anymore he gave his guitar to me.

ROBBIE Is he still around?

CHERYL He’s hanging in there, yeah. Hasn’t been in the best health, but he’s still got plenty of life left.

ROBBIE Good to know. So, what’s your name?

CHERYL Cheryl.

ROBBIE Cheryl. It’s a nice name.

CHERYL Thanks. And you’re Robbie, right?

ROBBIE That’s me.

CHERYL I’ve never seen you around town other than when your group is playing. Do you live here?

ROBBIE I stay with my parents here on the weekend. The rest of the time I’m in the city with my girlfriend.

CHERYL Oh. I see.

ROBBIE Huh? Something wrong?

CHERYL Oh, nothing. I just didn’t think you were taken already.

ROBBIE Wait, what?!

JANE (entering from upstage right) Hey, Robbie! (pauses as she notices Cheryl, then shakes her head) Sorry.
I didn’t know you were talking to someone. Don’t let me interrupt. (exits again)

ROBBIE Wait, Jane! It’s not what you think!

CHERYL Uh-oh. I think that’s my cue to go. I’ll just come back some other time. (exits downstage right)

ROBBIE Crap. Yet again, things are falling apart all around me. Why does it have to happen this way every
time?

Song 7: Call & Answer

I think it's getting to the point
where I can be myself again
I think it's getting to the point
where we have almost made amends
I think it's the getting to the point
that is the hardest part

and if you call, I will answer

and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

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You think I only think about you

when we're both in the same room
You think I'm only here to witness
the remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
a game of who loves more than whom

and if you call, I will answer

and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think it's only fair to do what's

best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same to me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
more than only fair

so if you call, I will answer

and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

But I'm warning you, don't ever do

those crazy, messed-up things that you do
If you ever do,
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now it's time to prove that you've come back
here to rebuild

(Lights down. Curtain closes)

ROBBIE (VO) Cheryl and I met a few times after that. It turns out she had friends in the city that she liked to
visit while they were out of class. We ended up running into each other accidentally and making
arrangements to hang out every so often.

JANE (VO) And she started to grow on you, I take it.

ROBBIE (VO) That’s an understatement. I hadn’t had so much fun since I was a kid!

JANE (VO) But she was more than the little sister you never had.

ROBBIE (VO) You knew that. I could tell by how we started to be on edge just by being next to each other,
much less living together.

JANE (VO) I was starting to believe you hated me or that you were just toying with me all along. I wasn’t
sure what to think.

ROBBIE (VO) And I thought you were upset with my choice of friends. It was starting to get to me. That’s
when I thought it might be good to get back at you.

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Scene 8:

(Curtain opens. Lights up on Brian’s garage. BRIAN sits in his usual chair while ROBBIE paces back and forth)

ROBBIE I’m at a loss, Brian. I don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing I do is good enough for her.

BRIAN I told you from the start, Rob. A woman is nothing but trouble, but an ex is even worse. It’s no
different than what happened between me and Enid.

ROBBIE It’s nothing like that! Jane is not cruel or insane and don’t you start suggesting that she is!

BRIAN Then calm down and tell me what the problem here is.

ROBBIE It’s strange, man. When I first saw her again it was a sudden surge of life. It was like I’d just woken up
from a long sleep that I wasn’t even aware of. But then we started being together and, well, it just
tapered off. It feels as though I’m anchoring myself in one place and it’s not where I want to be. I
know I care for Jane, but I’m not sure that I care enough to stick around and do things just on her
terms. I need to have my way, too.

BRIAN Well, that explains the issue right there. You’re still a big kid on the inside, Robbie. A kid with a big
sense of adventure. You can’t grow up entirely yet because you haven’t done the most incredible
thing you’ll ever do. That’s what’s holding you back. You have no plan because you don’t want a plan.
You do things on a whim, and when you run into something headlong you tend to make everyone
around you want to follow. People like you and Jane are opposite magnets, and eventually that will
make you two crash.

ROBBIE So you’re saying that, even if I feel for Jane, she’s just not good for me?

BRIAN Even if you wish she could be. You’re trying your best, Rob, and it’s noble but it’s going to come back
and bite you.

ROBBIE And that’s an even bigger problem. What do I do?

BRIAN Look. I don’t want you to think that I’m telling you to just drop Jane and forget her. I can tell she
means something to you and it would bother you to break her heart. And I definitely don’t want to
see a friend end up alone because of a botched relationship.

ROBBIE Why do you still sound like you have an idea, then?

BRIAN You remember when you walked in earlier and we were all talking about a big versus concert we’re
planning?

ROBBIE Yeah. Why?

BRIAN We’re going to meet with the other band next week. They’re called Beauty in Black. I think you’re
familiar with one of its members already.

ROBBIE What does this have to do with me and Jane working things out?

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BRIAN You’ll see.

ROBBIE Why do I get the feeling you’re going to make me do something crazy again?

BRIAN This time, you’ll thank me. You’ll see.

(Lights down.)

Scene 9:

(Lights up on the inside of a large shed where an all-girl band made up of ENID, CHERYL, JAZZ and CRYSTAL is
setting up. They all laugh amongst themselves, Cheryl sitting down in a chair and tuning her electric
guitar)

JAZZ So when are the boys getting here? (gives the cymbal on the drum set a tap with her finger) I can
hardly wait! From what Cheryl says, they’re all really cute!

CHERYL You’ve met one of them already.

JAZZ I have?

CHERYL Yeah. Robbie’s their lead singer.

CRYSTAL Aw, you mean that handsome man you’ve had a crush on since the first day you saw him?

CHERYL Crystal!

ENID Come on, girls, don’t tease each other. We’d better be on our best behavior, especially if we want to
impress these guys.

(BRIAN, ROBBIE, ANDY and ED all enter from downstage left, their instruments in tow)

BRIAN Enid?!

ENID You?!

ROBBIE Cheryl?!

CHERYL Hi, Robbie!

ED Looks like this’ll be more interesting than we thought.

ANDY (walks up to Jazz, extending a hand to her) Hey. You must be Jasmine.

JAZZ Please, just call me Jazz. (shakes Andy’s hand) And you’re Andy, right?

ANDY That’s me. (pointing out the members of his band as he names them) This is Ed. He’s Robbie. And
Brian is our band’s leader.

ENID Crap, he actually managed to keep the group together. I hoped you would call it quits when your
singer left.

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ED Don’t let her get to you, Brian.

BRIAN Yeah. I know.

JAZZ Am I missing something here?

ANDY Long story. Not sure you want to hear it right now. Would you like to introduce us to the rest of your
group?

JAZZ Right. I guess you know Enid already. (pointing out the other two girls) This is Crystal and Cheryl.

CHERYL Nice to finally meet you all.

CRYSTAL Yeah, we’ve been waiting all week for this!

ENID You should have found out who was in the group before you organized this, Jazz, much less inviting
them to our space.

BRIAN Oh, for God’s sake. What’s your problem, Enid?

ENID Excuse me?!

ANDY Oh, boy. Here we go.

JAZZ Should we go somewhere else for a moment?

ANDY You wouldn’t happen to have some food lying around, would you? We can talk about arranging the
concert over lunch.

JAZZ Sure. Follow me. (exits stage left with Ed, Andy and Crystal)

ROBBIE Um. Cheryl, can I have a word with you outside? (exits stage left)

CHERYL Lets. (exits right behind Robbie)

BRIAN I’ve had it up to here with your attitude, Enid. Every time I even get near you, you start in on me and
all my friends. Whatever your issue is, it’s starting to get annoying.

ENID Boo-hoo. If you don’t like the way I treat you then why do you insist on conveniently bumping into
me?

BRIAN If I had known you were in this band I would have refused right away! Besides, it’s not like I’m the one
who starts these fights, let alone going out of my way to seek them.

ENID Lame excuse!

BRIAN Alright, shut up and listen to me! Out of all the times we’ve fought since we broke up, who was the
one who started it?

ENID What does that have to do with anything?

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BRIAN You act as though I’m the one with the issues and yet you seem to go ballistic at just the sight of me.
Is it because you’re still mad over the break-up? And if that’s the case, why take all that out on me
instead of on yourself?

ENID What are you-?

BRIAN My turn now! Keep quiet!

ENID Don’t push it, little man!

BRIAN See? That’s what I’m talking about! It looks to me like you’re trying to pin the whole thing on me, but
what you really need to do is look in a mirror to find the one responsible! When I was with you it was
all about what you wanted! We went where you wanted to go, did the things you wanted to do, and
no was never an option! I didn’t even get to choose my own friends! You always disapproved of
everything I did! Nothing I did was good enough, even when you were dragging me along like a dog!

ENID And you’re still a dog!

BRIAN That’s it! I’ve been wanting to say this for a long time, but I tried to move on and forget it! Well, if you
won’t let me do that you’ll have to deal with the consequences!

ENID Oh, really? And what could be so terrible that it would scare me?

BRIAN We’re gonna talk this out, whether you want to or not, and we’re gonna get to the bottom of this
mystery.

ENID What mystery?

BRIAN The mystery of why you’re such a bitch and why I’m a much better person than you ever could be!

Song 8: It’s Only Me

Speaking as a guy who's really
Got it going on,
It's only natural,
It's only me.

Take it from a fella

Who's been 'round the block
So many times he's knows the only parking spot that's free.
It's only me.

You can say I've tried everything

I'd save on the wedding ring
Who knows me half as well as me?

I'm not anti-social

And it's nothing that's reproachful
It's just natural,
It's only me.

I can't think of anybody else I'd rather

Spend some one on one time with,
It's not that hard to see,

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It's only me.

I'm the me in monogamy

I'm not asking a lot of me
I give me R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

And if your heart is broken

You can just do what you do best
You can just do what you do,
When your heart is broken
Trust in the one who loves you
Never put others above you

I thought I was using me

To get to you
But this is true.
I'm natural, it's only me.

They say you'll never love another

'Til you love yourself,
Well, brother I'm in love with everyone I see.
It's only me.

You could say I've tried every thing

I'd save on the wedding ring
Who knows me half as well as me?
I'm the me in monogamy
I'm not asking a lot of me
I give me R-E-S-P-E-C-T

ENID You finally grew a pair. I think I like that.

BRIAN Glad to hear it. Now how about we drop all of this crap and save it for after the concert?

ENID Fine by me, but don’t think that it’s over.

BRIAN That works.

(ANDY, ED, JAZZ and CRYSTAL all enter stage left, laughing along with each other.)

ANDY And that’s the end of the first fight. I didn’t expect it to go that well.

JAZZ Never told us you had an ex, Enid.

BRIAN How long were you all there?

ED Long enough to get the picture.

CRYSTAL But it’s good to see you two burying the hatchet. Whatever it’s about.

ENID It’s nothing we can’t work through later, I guess. Now, where’s Cheryl and the other guy?

CHERYL (enters from stage left, her arms crossed) I’m sorry, Robbie, but I’m not convinced.

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ROBBIE (enters from stage left) What will it take, then? I have a good feeling about this, Cheryl, but I don’t
want to do it without you!

CHERYL I’ve told you what it will take.

ROBBIE Those three words.

CHERYL Yes.

ROBBIE Those three words that can be either the greatest lift of spirits or the worst of deathtraps when
they’re put together?

CHERYL Exactly!

ROBBIE Alright. But can I say them in my own way?

CHERYL I’d like that, actually.

ROBBIE Good. Then here goes.

Song 9: Alternative Girlfriend

You're in an all-girl band
Your futon's second hand
Your parents understand, but you don't care
I have a job in a shop
I'm an undercover cop
I make sure the customers aren't thieves

Old at being young

Young at being old
Everything's on hold within our evolution

[CHORUS]
You're my alternative girlfriend
I love you and now you cannot pretend
There's nothing left that won't cross over

Last night we slept on the lawn

You woke up and I was gone
Back to the dream I dream to leave
My life with her is a bore
A worn-out metaphor
No more surprises up its sleeve

We're old at being young

Young at being old
Everything's been sold to others' revolutions

[CHORUS]

You live above your dad's four-car garage

With your vinyl and imaginary entourage

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If I pull up in a U-Haul, pack up quick

So we can get out of this town, 'cause it makes me sick

[CHORUS]

You’re my alternative girlfriend

(Lights down. Curtains close)

Scene 10:

(Lights up on the street outside of Jane’s home in Birchmount.)

ROBBIE (enters through the door on stage left) I’ve already made up my mind. Come next semester, you’ll
need a new roommate.

JANE (enters through the door as well) This isn’t something that you can just decide on in a second, Robbie!
What’s brought this on?

ROBBIE I’ve finally realized where I went wrong, that’s all. I should have known this was all doomed from the
start.

JANE What do you mean? I thought you were serious about giving us another chance!

ROBBIE And so were you. It’s just falling through, that’s all.

JANE That’s all? You say it like it’s just an everyday thing!

ROBBIE Jane. I want you to give me an honest reason that you want me around.

JANE (after a beat) Alright. You have a point.

ROBBIE I’m sorry, Jane. I know this must be a big heartache.

JANE Save your sympathy. I want all of your stuff out of my apartment before Christmas.

ROBBIE I said I’m sorry.

JANE It’s too late for that now! You’ve made your bed and I hope you have a comfortable sleep! (exits
through the door, slamming it behind her)

ROBBIE Darn it. Not again.

(Lights down.)

Scene 11:

(Curtain opens. Lights up on Cheryl’s shed where ROBBIE and CHERYL sit together)

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ROBBIE I don’t know how I feel about this anymore, Cheryl.

CHERYL That’s why I’m here, Robbie. To help you through it.

ROBBIE I feel like I just tossed her aside. She deserves better than that.

CHERYL Then why did you tell her about it in the way that you did?

ROBBIE For some reason, I thought it would be fun to throw her into a jealous rage and watch her beg me to
stay. She didn’t, of course, and now I feel like an absolute fool.

CHERYL Robbie, I know you better than that. You’re not spiteful.

ROBBIE Then how do you explain the way I acted?

CHERYL You were letting it all out and you didn’t know how.

ROBBIE Huh?

CHERYL The reason you chose me over her was because she was becoming a grate on your nerves and you
wanted a change of pace, regardless of how you feel about her. That’s never easy to deal with.

ROBBIE You talk like you’ve been through it before.

CHERYL Yes, I’ve seen it happen. (embraces Robbie briefly, then releases him) Don’t worry. You’ll get over this
with time.

ROBBIE I feel like I ruined everything.

CHERYL Maybe so, but it’s passed now and you can’t undo it. All you can do is look to the future.

ROBBIE And what future is there for me?

CHERYL There’s a future with me. If things work out the way we would like.

ROBBIE Oh.

CHERYL There’s something more you need to say, right?

ROBBIE I’m sorry, Cheryl. I was so preoccupied with Jane I had totally forgotten why I even let myself go on
her like that.

CHERYL Are you going to be alright, then?

ROBBIE Yeah. Given some time.

CHERYL You’re sure?

ROBBIE Fairly sure, yeah. I mean, a small part of me still wants to feel like it’s wrong to do what I’m about to
do. The rest of me wants to throw caution to the wind and just do it for the sake of trying.

CHERYL And which side are you going to listen to?

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ROBBIE Well, that’s a ridiculous question.

Song 10: Lovers In A Dangerous Time

Don't the hours go shorter as the days go by
We never get to stop and open our eyes
One minute you’re waiting for the sky to fall
The next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all

Lovers in a dangerous time

Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste

This fragrant skin, this hair like lace
Spirits open to a thrust of grace
Never a breath you can afford to waste

Lovers in a dangerous time

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you're lovers in a dangerous time

Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight

When you're lovers in a dangerous time

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

(Lights down. Curtains close.)

Scene 12:

(Lights up on the street outside the Open String Café where JANE and ROBBIE are finishing their reminiscing from
Scene 2.)

ROBBIE That’s how I remember it.

JANE Why did you bring it all up again, Robbie?

ROBBIE Jane, I still feel like I couldn’t close this chapter on a completely sour note.

JANE I closed it before.

ROBBIE I know, Jane, but I just wasn’t ready to accept the end as it was.

JANE You’re not back for another chance. That much is obvious. What could be the reason for retelling the
whole story?

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ROBBIE I realized something after I left. The real problem between us was that we never quite saw eye to eye.
My fault, I know. I was so short-sighted and all the time I thought you were the only one who didn’t
understand.

JANE What does that have to do with it?

ROBBIE I wanted to be certain that you knew why I did things the way I did before I said I’m sorry.

JANE Sorry?

ROBBIE I pulled you into something that you didn’t deserve and probably didn’t actually want. I broke your
heart without a second thought until it was too late, and all because I thought you were trying to
keep me from being happy.

JANE Robbie, there’s no need to make a big speech.

ROBBIE Why not?

JANE I’ve had plenty of time to recover and I’ve been evaluating it for some time myself. It would be wrong
of me to place the blame completely on you, and even if you did make me feel pretty worthless when
you left I came to realize that it was better that we give up on it in the end. Otherwise it would have
just been a longer time in misery and delusion for both of us.

ROBBIE Then you accept my apology?

JANE I do accept it, Robbie. I’ve already figured out that what you did was in both our best interests, even if
I disagreed with how you went about it at the time.

ROBBIE So there’s nothing more to say, then?

JANE Not really. There was barely anything left from the start.

ROBBIE Then thanks for letting me get it out.

JANE It’s not a problem. So what brought you back to town, anyway?

ROBBIE Brian got in touch with me last month and said he was organizing some kind of concert here during
the open mic night but the Yellow Jackets needed their lead singer.

JANE Really? That’s a funny coincidence.

ROBBIE Why is that?

JANE My fiancé Jim was here to- (pauses as her cell phone beeps, taking it out of her pocket and opening it)
Speaking of Jim, he’s on his way back. (puts her cell phone back into her pocket) He should be just
down the street.

ROBBIE So you have been doing well for yourself. A new shop in the city, a fiancé. You must have moved on a
lot faster than I did.

JANE As if that wasn’t obvious by now. (embraces Robbie) You big kid.

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ROBBIE (returns Jane’s embrace) I’m glad for you. (releases Jane from his hold) Now we’d better stop that or
your man might get jealous.

JANE (releases Robbie as well) Alright.

(JIM and CHERYL enter from stage left side by side)

JIM Hope you’re ready for this audition, sis. From what Enid says, Beauty in Black needs you.

CHERYL Don’t you worry about us. I promise you’ll be impressed.

JANE (waving to Jim) Welcome back, Jim!

ROBBIE (walking up to Cheryl) Hey, baby! (points to Jim) Who’s this guy?

JANE He’s my fiancé.

CHERYL (at the same time as Jane) He’s my brother.

ROBBIE Wait! (pointing to Jim) He’s your-?

JANE (pointing to Cheryl) She’s your-?

CHERYL (pointing to Jane) You’re her-?

JIM (pointing to Robbie) He’s your-?

ALL Huh?

(ENID and BRIAN enter from stage right hand in hand, Enid wearing a black leather jacket and Brian wearing a
yellow sport jacket)

BRIAN Crud. Looks like we missed the big reveal, Enid.

ENID I told you we’d be late.

BRIAN Sorry, but I doubt it would look good if I showed up to an audition with yellow teeth.

ENID Not that you sing all that many notes.

BRIAN True.

ROBBIE Brian? Care to explain what’s going on here exactly?

BRIAN Well, me and Enid got back together after our little fight just before you left. We worked everything
out and realized where we slipped up with each other.

ENID Right. Then we decided that if one of our bands was going to start moving up in the world we wanted
to do it together. After all, it would be a shame if only one of us made it to stardom and left the other
one in the dust.

BRIAN I knew from the first time the Yellow Jackets auditioned for Jim to try to get into his recording studio
that he was engaged to Jane. Missing you, though, we just weren’t the same and failed miserably.

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ENID So I arranged for Beauty in Black to audition for him. I called Cheryl separately and made her promise
not to tell you.

ROBBIE And you told me not to tell her, Brian!

JIM I see. So you two set this whole thing up to get Robbie and Jane back together so they could work all
of this out as well as to get your fourth members back from the city.

BRIAN Pretty much.

JANE That’s… a bit convoluted. It sounds like a bad teen novel.

ENID Maybe the scheme was a bit crazy, but give us some credit. It worked.

JIM There’s only one thing. Do you honestly want me to audition The Yellow Jackets again, Brian?

BRIAN Trust me. With Robbie in our ranks we’ll be a lot better than before. That is, if he doesn’t mind joining
us again for our future recording career.

JIM I was only planning on helping with demos and such.

ENID Just a stepping stone toward fame. And what about you, Cheryl?

BRIAN If you two are willing, we’d love to have you back. Both of our groups have missed you two.

CHERYL What do you think, Robbie? I’m fine with either choice, really.

ROBBIE Sounds a bit like a long shot.

JANE That is does. But that’s never stopped you before, right?

ROBBIE (shrugs) What the heck? If nothing else, it’ll just be another fine adventure.

BRIAN Glad to hear it!

ENID It’s getting cold, everyone. Let’s go inside.

JIM Yeah. We’ve all got a lot of details to work out. (opens the door for the group)

(All exit center through the door. Lights down)

Curtain Call Dance: It’s All Been Done

I met you before the fall of Rome
And I begged you to let me take you home
You were wrong, I was right
You said goodbye, I said goodnight

It's all been done

It's all been done
It's all been done before

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I knew you before the west was won

And I heard you say the past was much more fun
You go your way, I go mine
But I'll see you next time

It's all been done

It's all been done
It's all been done before

And if I put my fingers here, and if I say

"I love you, dear"
And if I play the same three chords,
Will you just yawn and say

It's all been done

It's all been done
It's all been done before

Alone and bored on a thirtieth-century night

Will I see you on The Price Is Right?
Will I cry? Will I smile?
As you run down the aisle?

It's all been done

It's all been done
It's all been done before

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