UNDERSTAND

RELATIONSHIP
PSYCHOLOGY
Psychological Facts About
Love You Probably Didn’t
Know
While poets and songwriters put romantic thoughts and
feelings into eloquent words, love remains a complicated
mystery. Psychologists and anthropologists have a lot to say
about how and why people fall in love, and most importantly,
the science behind it all. We dug through pages of studies and
texts to uncover these surprising psychological facts about love.

LOVE IS ACTUALLY 3 FEELINGS IN 1

There’s a reason love is so complicated and indescribable — it’s
actually three feelings in one. According to a team of scientists led
by famous biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, romantic love
can actually be broken down into three sensations: lust, attraction
and attachment. And each feeling is characterized by its own set of
hormones stemming from the brain.

LUST IS DIFFERENT THAN LOVE

The evolutionary basis for “lust” stems from the need to
reproduce. The sex hormones testosterone and estrogen drive lust,
which are separate from what is behind attraction and attachment.
This is why one-night stands or steamy hookups don’t necessarily
lead to long-term relationships. However, it gets complicated
because lust and passion are still components of long-lasting love
as well.

ATTRACTION IS BASED ON OBSESSION

While estrogen and testosterone drive lust, dopamine and
norepinephrine are released when one feels attraction. According
to Fisher's extensive research, humans manifest attraction in the
brain areas that control “reward” behavior. In a number of Fisher’s
studies, brain scans of people in love showed the primary reward
centers of the brain lighting up after they were shown a picture of
someone they are intensely attracted to. This helps to explain why
the attraction component of love is based on feelings of obsession
as well as why the early days of a romantic relationship can be
exhilarating.

ATTACHMENT ISN’T EXCLUSIVE TO ROMANCE

The third category of love, attachment, is associated with feelings
of comfort and nurturing as opposed to infatuation and desire. The
hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are the fuel for these factors in
long-term relationships. And while lust and attraction are pretty
much exclusive to romantic love, attachment is also felt through
friendships, parent-infant bonding and even how owners feel
toward their pets.

BEING IN LOVE CAN DECREASE APPETITE

When someone is in the attraction phase of love, high levels of
dopamine and norepinephrine are released. Dopamine is known
as one of the happiness hormones, and these chemicals can make
people feel giddy and even euphoric. This reaction can also lead to
decreased appetite and insomnia, which means you can actually be
so “in love” that you can’t eat or sleep well.

BEING IN LOVE CHANGES YOU

If you find yourself watching romantic comedies when you used to
only prefer thrillers or if you suddenly love Mexican food when you
didn’t before, you might want to credit your partner. A study
published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found
that people in love often have different interests and personality
traits after entering into their respective relationships. One of the
study’s authors suggested that people have a more diverse sense of
self and an increased self-esteem after falling in love.
LOVE CAN BE A PAIN RELIEVER
A study conducted by the Stanford University School of Medicine
found that intense, passionate feelings of love can be used as an
effective pain reliever, acting similar to illicit drugs like cocaine.
Researchers asked 15 undergraduate students to bring in photos of
their romantic partner and photos of an acquaintance. Researchers
then showed the pictures to their subjects while zapping their
hands with a computer-controlled thermal stimulator to cause mild
pain. They found that seeing the image of their loved ones reduced
the level of pain they felt. So if you’re about to donate blood and
don’t prefer needles, perhaps you should have a picture of
someone you love on hand.

LOVE IS BLIND
Longtime married couple Richard Schwartz and Jacqueline Olds are
Harvard Medical School professors and couples therapists who
have been studying the evolution of love for decades. In one study,
they uncovered the science behind the phrase “love is blind.” In a
piece published by Harvard University, Schwartz explained how the
feeling of love deactivates the neural pathway responsible for
negative emotions such as fear and social judgment. So when you
start to fall in love, your ability to make critical assessments shuts
down.
LOVE CAN MAKE YOU SICK
If you’ve ever heard someone say they’re lovesick, they may have
been onto something. Though it hasn’t been proven that love
makes you physically sick, it does raise levels of cortisol, according
to Richard Schwartz, associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard
Medical School. Cortisol is a stress hormone that has been shown
to suppress immune function, making you more likely to get sick.

BEING GRATEFUL CAN IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS

Everyone wants to be cared for and appreciated. And studies have
found that gratitude can actually improve relationships. For
example, one study found that couples who took the time to
express gratitude for their partner not only felt more positive
toward the other person but also felt more comfortable expressing
concerns about their relationship.

THE ‘LOVE DRUG’ IS ALSO FOUND IN CHOCOLATE

When you fall in love, your brain releases a hormone called
phenylethylamine, which is known as the “love drug.” The
hormone is what’s responsible for making partners feel madly in
love with each other. Phenylethylamine is also found in chocolate,
which may explain why you can't stop after one piece.
How to pick-up your dream girl and have a long-lasting relationship
IT TAKES JUST ONE-FIFTH OF A SECOND TO FALL IN
LOVE

Out of all the discoveries scientists have made on the topic of love,
the most romantic might just be how quickly someone can fall in
love. A meta-analysis study published in the Journal of Sexual
Medicine found that falling in love only takes about a fifth of a
second.

WHEN A PERSON FALLS IN LOVE, MULTIPLE AREAS OF

THE BRAIN ARE AT WORK

In the same study, the team of researchers revealed that 12 areas

of the brain work together to release euphoria-inducing chemicals
that make someone feel like they’re in love. The chemicals
dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopressin elicit the high
sensation one might feel as they get hit with the lovebug.

LOVE IS SIMILAR TO BEING HIGH

You may have heard that falling in love is like getting high, and
there actually is some truth to that. A study from the Kinsey
Institute published in Frontier Psychology found that the brain of a
person falling in love looks a lot like the brain of someone who has
taken cocaine. In fact, people in the early stages of an
intense romantic relationship exhibit many symptoms of substance
addictions, including euphoria, cravings, withdrawal, and emotional
and physical dependence. The researchers wrote that romantic
love could be considered a powerful “natural addiction.”

THE BRAIN FALLS IN LOVE, NOT THE HEART

Many scientists have gone back and forth on whether it’s the brain
that falls in love or the heart. Based on her work, Syracuse
University professor Stephanie Ortigue believes it is ultimately the
brain, though the heart is related. “Activation in some parts of the
brain can generate stimulations to the heart, butterflies in the
stomach,” Ortigue wrote in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. “Some
symptoms we sometimes feel as a manifestation of the heart may
sometimes be coming from the brain."

LOVE MAKES YOU DUMB

Falling in love can make people do questionable and embarrassing
things. In fact, research shows that sexual arousal turns off the
regions in the brain that control critical thinking, self-awareness
and rational behavior. It shuts off the prefrontal cortex of the brain,
which is to blame for mistakes, bad decisions and regrettable
moments in a new relationship.
LOVE DOES HURT
At times, love hurts, and being “heartbroken” is actually a real
sensation and not just something that’s only in your head. It’s
called “takotsubo cardiomyopathy” or broken heart syndrome.
According to Harvard Women's Health Watch, broken heart
syndrome is a weakening of the heart's main pumping chamber as
a result of severe emotional or physical stress, such as the loss of a
loved one or a serious accident. It occurs almost exclusively in
women and researchers are still figuring out why it happens. While
it’s rare, it is possible to die of a broken heart.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE NEWLY MARRIED TO BE HEAD

OVER HEELS

You might think that deep, passionate love is reserved exclusively

for the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship, but a 2011 study
showed that you can still be madly in love with someone after
decades of marriage. A research team at Stony Brook University in
New York performed MRI scans on couples who had been married
for an average of 21 years. They compared the results with scans
done in a prior experiment of couples that were in a newer
relationship. The researchers found the same level of activity in
dopamine-rich areas of the brain for both the long-married couples
and those who were newly in love. The study suggested that as a
relationship grows, the spark stays — but some of the initial stress
is gone.

THE LOVE HORMONE IS TWO-FACED

A study from Northwestern University revealed that the “love
hormone” oxytocin — which has long been known to promote
warm, fuzzy feelings of well-being and social bonding — has a dark
side too. The surprising research published in 2013 shows oxytocin
can also cause emotional pain. The hormone actually strengthens
social memory in the brain, and that includes bad memories. These
memories can be triggered long after a negative incident. Healthy
levels of oxytocin can help people feel connected toward their
partners, but if the hormone is elevated, it can fuel toxic habits like
jealousy and irritability.

COUPLES’ HEART RATES START TO SYNCHRONIZE

Your heart might skip a beat when your crush walks by, but a study
found that if you’re in a deep relationship, your hearts might be
beating in sync. A study conducted by the University of California-
Davis suggests there are physiological signals between two people
in love. In fact, couples' hearts begin to beat at the same rate when
they’re in a relationship. Though this might be hard to gauge on
your own, feeling a deep connection with your partner is one way
to make it through coronavirus quarantine together.

Only for BOYS!!!