HANOI OPEN UNIVERSITY

E-Learning Center
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ASSIGNMENT ON INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION

Topic 7: Analyze Family Values in Vietnam and in other English-speaking countries such as the
United Kingdom, the United States… to show the similarities and the differences among them.

HANOI, 11th October 2021

Date of exam:…………..... Index number Detached number

Full name: Nguyễn Thị Bích Tuyền
Examiner 1:......................
Date of birth: 14/07/1988
Examiner 2 :……………..
Group: FSP 313
Answer:

1. INTRODUCTION
After the first college graduation and some years studying out of Vietnam, I have more lessons and
experience with some different culture from other countries. I feel interested the similarities and the
differences between Vietnamese family and The United States family. Generally, family value is one of the
most important parts in person life. The strong values from family can affect to characteristic, attitude of that
person to the society. In every country, there are differences from parenting, adulthood, The Elderly, family
Roles, Stability and Change in the Family.

2. BODY
In the common view, each family is the first teacher to teach children basic qualities which is important
such as respect, honesty, patience, independence. The parenting job in two countries is basically focusing on
the education. It starts at home and some daily lessons from early childhood become part of someone's
personality and characteristics. Hence, the things kids observe from family members become the impression
on people. There are responsibilities and duties that parents need to fulfill like providing education, food,
clothing, accommodation, medical cares and protection. It includes financial support till 18 years old in US
families but in Vietnam, family seems support till children finishes education they choose.
In Vietnamese cultures, 3 generations can live together and take care of each other in one house. The typical
family includes grandparent(s), parents and kids, sometimes, others aunt, uncles and cousins shall be in the
same house also. It does not seem common if the kid moves out of home at the age of 18 years old.
Moreover, in some situations, the marriage couples will continue to live in the house with parents and
grandparents. The advantages of this extended family are the united spirit and love sharing. Living in this
house, the kids are taught how to share the good things and how to respect other member in family. We can
also help each other when member has obstacles in life. Individuals are expected to serve their family’s
interests before their own and show preferential treatment to fellow family members.
However, the conflicts and arguments are not able to be avoided. Especially, when new married couple starts
living together with many others in one house. After marriage, the wife usually moves into the husband’s
home. Often, this will mean the couple moves into the household of the husband’s parents. In this case, the
wife will come under the supervision of her mother-in-law and complete domestic duties for her.
The father or husband is usually considered as the main financial provider. Traditional families uphold
him as the ultimate decision-maker, whereas modern families include the mother and consult elders. In
Vietnam culture, house chores are considered under duties of mother or wife no matter her has works or
not. The roles above have been deeply in the mindset of many Vietnamese generation and families.
However, nowadays the young generation has the updated thought to share and support the house chores
with women.
As the point stating above when some generation living together in same house, raising kids in one
Vietnamese family is not coming from parents’ view and methods. Most important responsibility is under
parents to bring up their children. Grandparent’s styles shall interfere and contribute their opinions
because people are taught to respect opinion from elders. Vietnamese parents normally support the kids’
education till they finish university or even when the kids study abroad. It is not confirmed 100% happens
but Vietnamese parents does not encourage kids to have part time jobs while they are studying. In my
own point of view, kids have more protection and less freedom in Vietnam family. Normally, parents
want the kids to have the goods result with all subjects at school. The physical activities and mental,
emotional health are less cared than school education. However, generally as long as children do not
break the house rules and have the good scores at school, they have a lot of freedom in other aspects of
their lives. Traditionally, children do not keep any secrets from their parents as most information is shared
within the family.
In Vietnam culture, people do believe that the kids’ future would be destroyed when parents get divorce.
In the past, married couples would not consider changing the family to avoid the bad influence for their
children. However, this changes nowadays with more development of society, but it is still very low
compared to the West. According to “https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/divorce-
rates-by-country”, Vietnam has the next lowest rate at 0.4 divorces per every 1,000 residents in 2021. In
2020, the number of divorces in Vietnam reached 22.76 thousand cases. Compared to the previous year
2019, there were around three thousand fewer divorces in the country that year. The new generation
balance own happiness with the children’s happiness. They reduce the bad changes in family to protect
the kids but still they choose divorce when there is no more way to be in same family with the partner.

On the other hand, most of US family chooses the life as nuclear family. It includes husband, wife and
children. The US culture allows children moving out of house when they get ready at 18 years old. If in
Vietnam family, the standard is having 1 or 2 children, the US family tends with no children has
increased. In addition, US older people likely live alone in the house or the family or even they decide to
live in Elderly Care Center. They do believe that environment will provide enough care with medical
supplies and friends or activities which is suitable for them. Compared to Vietnamese culture, it seems
ungrateful child to send their parents to care center instead of keeping them at home to take care. Factors
that influence living arrangements of the elderly include preferences and resources that people have, and
health and other constraints as they age.
Another difference between Vietnamese and US family is the couple can live and have kids with each
other even they do not get married. It is called Cohabitation. Living with an unmarried partner is
experiencing their relationships. By this way, the partners can share the living cost such as rental, car, and
food expense or children education before they decide to have legal connection by marriage.
The roles of man and woman in family are not affected by the opinion of mother in law like Vietnamese
family because they choose the style as nuclear family. Women and men share household chores and
tasks to take care of children. US Women often has job outside to earn money and also men can choose to
work from home to do more family chores. Meanwhile, we rarely see this situation in Vietnam when men
choose to take care of family for women to work outside.
US family looks like give more freedom for kid’s more than Vietnamese family. The children has more
opportunities to join outside activities but the nutrition is less cared with providing more fast food and
soft drinks at home or school. Preschool is critical to ensuring that children start kindergarten with the
skills and supports that set them up for success in school. Parents in US encourage the children to learn
themselves from real things in live and from their own experience. The discipline is different in Vietnam
and US. It is still accepted to hit children if parents think their kids do something bad or being naughty.
However, in US, hitting a kid is illegally. Parents have to find the way to communicate with kids and
avoid the violation. The kids can call police anytime if they feel parents not providing enough food or if
parents give them bad treat in life.
In US, divorce is more common than Vietnam. We used to hear that more than 50% of marriages in US
end in divorce. Is it true? Let look at the figures below.
 According to https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/divorce-rates-by-country, US have a
divorce rate of 3.2 divorces per every 1,000 residents. One of the most prevalent causes of discord in a
marriage is communication problems. The effects from the changes of family maybe as same as for the
children in any countries even US and Vietnam. Children from divorced families may experience more
externalizing problems, such as conduct disorders, delinquency, and impulsive behavior than kids from
two-parent families. Children fare better if parents can limit conflict associated with the divorce process
or minimize the child's exposure to it.

3. Conclusion
In summary, although there are many differences between US and Vietnam families, still we
strongly protect the family. Building the family is not easy and it should be from each member
contribution. It takes time and commitment. No relationship is perfect, but it is important that it brings
you more happiness than stress.