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The Quilt

1
1 S he started down the gentle slope of that road in Koishikawa
A that leads from Kirishitanzaka to Gokurakusui, he thought
things over. "Well, this is the end of the first stageof my relation-
ship with her. It's ridiculous to think I could ever have considered
such a thing, what with me being thirty-six and with three
children as well. And yet . . . I wonder-can it really be true?
All that affection she showed me-was it really just affection,
and not love?"
All those emotional letters-their relationship was certainly
something out of the ordinary. He had a wife, he had children,
: j
he had a reputation to consider, and, moreover, he was her
teacher, so they hadn't gone as far as falling madly in love. And
yet, the beating of their hearts when they talked together, the
sparkle in their eyeswhen they looked at each other-there was
definitely something tremendously powerful deep beneath it all.
He felt that, if only there was an opportunity, this hidden force
would suddenly gain strength and destroy at a stroke that
teacher-pupil relationship, that morality, that reputation, that
family of his. At least, that was what he believed. But then the
events of the last few days would mean that her feelings had
just been put on. The thought that she had deceived him went
time and again through his mind. However, while he could,
being a literary man, consider his own state of mind objectively,
the mind of a young woman was not something that could easily
be fathomed. Perhaps her warm, cheerful affection was just part
of a woman's nature, and perhaps that beautiful look in her eyes,
that tenderness,were all subconscious,all meaningless,just like
36
THE QUILT 37
a flower in nature Sving a sort of comfort to those who look upon and nowadays, even if he'd wanted to, he wouldn't have been
it. Even assumingfor argument's sake that she did love him, he able to find the old-fashioned sort of girl he'd known in his
was the teacher and she was his pupil, he had a wife and children courting days. And the young men, like young men in any age,
and she was a beautiful young flower just coming into bloom, had a completely different attitude towards everything, whether
so perhaps it was inevitable that they should both come to realize love, literature, or politics, and he felt an unbridgeable gap
this. Then again, he had failed to clear the question up when between them and his own generation.
she had sent him that one really intense letter, complaining of Every day, then, he would go mechanically along the same
her anguish both openly and implicidy, and, as if to oppress route, in through the same big gate, along the same narrow
him with the force of nature, conveying her feelings to him for passagewith its mixture of vibrating noise from the rotary press
a final time. With her female modesty, how could he now expect and smelly sweat from the factory-hands. He would casually
her to make things any clearer than that? Perhaps,with her mind greet the employeesin the offi.ce,climb laboriously up the long
in such a state, she had acted as she had now through despair. and narrow steps, and finally enter that room. The east and
"Anyway, the chance
has now gone. She already belongs to south sideswere open to the sun, and in the afternoon, when the
someoneelse!" he exclaimed aloud as he walked along, and sun was at its strongest,it grew unbearably hot in there. To add
pulled at his hair. to it all the office-boy was lazy and didn't do the cleaning, so
He went slowly on down the slope, his figure, in suit of striped the table was covered with an unpleasant layer of lvhite dust.
serge and straw hat, bent slightly forward as he thrust out his He sat down at his desk,smokeda cigarette,then got up again
wisteria-vine walking-stick. It was the middle of September and to take down from the bookcasesome bulky statistical works,
still insufferably hot, but the sky was already filled with a re- maps, guides, and geography books. Eventually he quietly took
freshing air of autumn, and is deep, rich blue vividly stirred the up his pen to continue from where he had left off the previous
emotions. Round about were fuh shops and saki shops and day. However, for the last few days his mind had been troubled,
grocery shops, beyond them rows of backstreet tenements and and he found it hard to write. He would finish one line, then
temple gates, and in the lowJying ground of Hisakatamachi stop to think things over, then write another line only to stop
numerous factory chimneys poured out their thick black smoke. again. The thoughts that fiiled his mind were all fragmentary,
It was in one of those many factories that he went to work intense, hasty, and often desperate. Then suddenly, by some
every afternoon, in a large Western-style room upstairs with chain of thought or other, he called to mind Hauptmann's
a single large table standing in the middle and a Western-style Lonej People.Before things had turned out as they had, he had
bookcase,firll of all sorts of geographical works, at ie side. He thought about teaching her this drama as part of her curriculum.
was helping, on a part-time basis, with the editing of some He had wanted to teach her about the hero's-Johannes Vocke-
geographical works for a certain publishing house. A man of rat's-mind, about his grief and the wife who misunderstood him.
letters editing geographical works! He had taken on the work He had read the work some three years before, before he had
pretending that he had an interest in geography, but of course, even known of her very existence, and since then he too had
deep down, he wasn't huppy with it. What with his rather tardy been a lonely man. He didn't go so far as to try to compare him-
literary career, his despair at only having produced odds and self to Johannes, but he did feel, with great sympathetic under-
ends without an opportunity for putting all he had into a work, standing, that if such a woman as Anna, Johannes's studenr,
the painful abuse he received every month from the young men's appeared, then it was only natural if things ended in such a
magazines,his own awarenessof what he ought to do some day tragedy. "And now I can't even becomea Johannesr" he thought,
-it was inevitable he should feel upset. Society was advancing
letting out a long, deep sigh.
with each new day. Suburban trains had revolutionized Tokyo's Not surprisingly, he didn't teach her LonelyPeople,but instead
transport system. Girl students had become something of a force, Turgenev's short work Faust. There in the tiny little study,
 38 THE QUILT 39
bright with the light of rhe lamp, her heart had been filled with as his only pleasure in life, and would dream a[ sorts of dreams
longing by that colorful love story, and her expressiveeyes had about her. what if they were to falr in love, if he were to take her
sparkled with a still deeper significance. The lamplight shone to an assignation house in Kagurazaka, if they enjoyed them-
on the upper part of her body, on her chic and faihionable t.
i-
selves_away from the eyesof others...? \{hat'if ttrey went for
hairstyle, her comb, her ribbons, and when she had drawn her { y.ry through the suburbs, without his wife knowing . . . ?
1
face close to the book that indescribable perfumed smell, that Indeed, at the time his yrfe was pregnant and so, if she sujdenly
fleshy, female smell. . . . As he explained to her the part in which died of complications in the uiittr, and then if afterwards
he
the protagonist reads Goethe's Faustto his former lover, his own
f
were to make the other woman his new wife . . . ? Would he then
voice too had trembled with passion. so calmly be able to make her his second wife . . . ? Such were
"But his_thoughts as he walked along.
it's no good nolv!" he exclaimed to himself, and pulled
at his hair again. It was at that time that he had received an absorutelyidorizing
letter from a grrl named yokoyama yoshiko, . gr.ut admirer
of his works from Niimimachi in Bitcht, and u popi-t at the Kobe
Girls' Academy. Under the name of iakenaka kojd he wrote

2 novels.of
-elegantstyle, and was not unknolvn in tlie world, so
he quite frequently received letters fi,'om various devotees
and
He was called Takenaka Tokio. admirers in the provinces. He didn't concern himself overmuch
Three yearsbefore,when his wife was expecting their third child, even with letters asking him to conect the send.er'stexts,
or
he had already been completely disillusioned ol th. pleasuresof asking permission for the sender to become his pupil. And
so,
newly wedded life. The busy affairs of the world had no meaning even when he received this girl's letter, iris cUosity had.n,t
for him, he lacked even tJre enthusiasm to work on his life's especially prompted him to reply. But after receiving three such
masterpiece,and as for his everyday life-getting up in the morn- enthusiastic letters from this same person, even rokio had
to
ing, going off to work, coming home at fourln-the afternoon take notice. She said she was nineieen but, judging from the
and seeing, ar; ever, his wife's face, eating his dinner and going phrasesin her letters, her powers of expressiori*.i" r-rrprisingly
off to bed-as for this monotonous existence, he was thoroughly skilled. Her one great hope, she said, was to become hi. piil
and absolutely bored with it. Moving house all the time wasn't and devote her whole [fe to riterature. Her characten flfwed
interesting, talking to friends wasn,t interesting, and he failed smoothly and easily, and she seemedto be quite a sophisticated
to find satisfaction in searching out foreign novels to read. In grrl.
fact, he even felt that the various forms of nature-the thickly He had written a reply from that upstairs room at the factory.
growing trees in the garden, the raindrops, the blooming and That day he had stopped
lis daily giographical work after just
withering of the flowers-were making his banal life even more two pages, and the scroll letter which he then sent her *i, .
banal. long one, several feet in length. He explained in detail in the
{9 was desperatelylonely. As he walked along the streets
he would invariably see beautiful young women, and feel an letter the imprudence of a woman getting involved in literature,
acute desire for a new love, if only such were possible. the need for a woman to fulfill her biological role of motherhood,
His was the anguish which in reality every man feels in his the risk involved in a girl becoming a writer, and then added
mid-thirties. Many men of this age flirt with low-class women a few insulting phrases.He had smilid to himself at the thouEht
for the sake, in the final analysis, of curing this loneliness. And that this would surely make her lose heart and give ,rp f,.,
many of those who divorce their wives are of this age. ideas. Then, taking a map of okayama prefectuie from the
Every morning, on the way to work, he would incounter a bookcase,he had looked up Niimimachi in the district of Atetsu.
beautiful woman, a teacher. In those days he saw this encounter He was surprised that such a sophisticated girl could come from
 r.Eri1 laurl.l +l
such a place, in the middle of all those hills some thirty miles Tokio talked in detaii to Yoshiko and her father about the
or more inland up the Takahashi river valley from the San'y6 circumstancesand aims of a writer, and sounded out beforehand
Line. And yet, somehow Tokio felt familiarly attracted to the her father's views on the question of marriage. He learned that
place, and looked carefully at the hills, rivers, and other features Yoshiko's family was wealthy and one of the lead.ing families in
of the area. Niimimachi, that her father and mother were both strict chris-
He had thought she would be unable to reply, but far from it. tians, and that her mother in particular was a devout believer,
Four days later an even thicker letter arrived-three pages of having once studied at the Ddshisha Girls' college. The eldest
small characters written laterally in violet ink acrossblue-ruled son of the family had been to England, and after returning to
Western-style paper-in which she repeated over and over again
Japan had become a professor at a government school. yoshiko
how shehoped he would not abandon her but make her his pupil, after leaving the local primary school, gone straight to
and how, if she could get her parents' permission,she hoped to !-a{,
Kobe and entered the Kobe Girls' Acade*y, *Lere she had led
come to Tokyo, enter a suitable school, and faithfully and whole- the life of a sophisticated girl student. compared with other
heartedly study literature. Tokio had to admire her resolve. girls' schools, the Christian schools were all open-minded when
Even in Tokyo the graduates from the girls' schoolsdidn't under- it came to literature. At that particular time there was a stipula-
stand the value of literature, and yet, to judge from the remarks tion forbidding the reading of works such as The Wind of the
in her letters, this girl did seem to knorv about everything. He Deuil, the Wind of Loae, and The GoldenDemon,* but before the
promptly sent off a reply and formed a teacher-pupil relation- Ministry of Education had interfered there had been no problem
ship. about such books, provided they weren't read in the classroom.
Ivlany letters and texts were to follow. There were still points In the school church Yoshiko had learned the preciousnessof
of immaturity in her writing, but Tokio felt that she wrote prayer, the pleasure of Christmas night, the cultivation of ideals,
smoothly and without affectation, and that there were sufficient and she had becomeone of a group that ignored mankind,s base
prospects for future development. And then, as they gradually aspects while celebrating its attractive ones.
got to know each other a little better, Tokio started to look At first she had missedher home and mother and had been
forward to her letters. Once he had thought about asking her to greatiy upset, but eventually she had forgotten all that and had
send a photograph, and had written a request in a corner ofhis come to appreciate above all else the life of a girl student at
letter, but then had blacked it out. Loo}s were essential for a boarding school. No pampering with tasty pumpkin there, and
woman. ff a woman were unattractive, then no matter how much no side-dishesfor your soy sauce either. So you simply learnt
talent she might have men wouldn't take to her. Deep dorvn, to put your sauce on your rice instead and to easeyour feelings
Tokio felt that since Yoshiko was a woman who wanted to write by grumbling about the cook, just as you moaned about the
literature she was sure to be physically plain. Yet he hoped she crotchety old dormitory mistress behind her back. When you've
would be as presentableas possible. been involved in student life like that, how can you be expected
It was in February the follorving year that, having obtained to view thir$ simplistically, Iike a girl raised in the home ?
her parents' permission, Yoshiko had come to Tokio's house, Beauty, ideals, and vanity-these Yoshiko had now acquired,
accompanied by her father. It was exactly seven days after the and thus she had all the good traits, and the bad, of a Nleiji-era
birth of Tokio's third child, a son. His wife was still in confine- girl student.
ment in the room next to the parlor, and was rrruch disturbed At least her presence broke the loneliness of Tokio's life.
when she heard from her elder sister, who had come to help Yesteryear's lover-today's wife. That his wife had once been
out, how beautiful this young girl pupil was. Her sister was also
worried about Tokio's intentions in making such a young and * Makau Koikazaby Kosugi rengai (1903) andKonji*i yashaby
ozaki K6yo (1897)
beautiful girl his pupil. respectively' The former deals with student life, the latter with a love afftair.-
+z THE QUILT 43
his lover was a certain fact, but times had changed. With the she show any signs of so doing, but neverthelessher mood got
sudden rise of women's education over the past four or five years, gradually worse. Amid the endless laughter spread an endless
the establishing of women's universities, and the fashion for unease. He knew for a fact that his wife's reiatives had started
low-pompadour haintyles and maroon pleated skirts, women to treat it as a major problem.
no longer felt self-consciousabout walking with a man. To Tokio After much worry Tokio had arranged for Yoshiko to stay at
nothing was more regrettable than his having contented himself the house of his wife's elder sister, a military widow who lived
with his wife, who had nothing more to offer than her old- off a pension and needlework, and that from there she should
fashioned round-chignon hairstyle, waddling walk, and chastity attend a private girls' school in Kdjimachi.
and submissiveness. When he compared the young, modern wife
-beautiful and radiant as she strolled the streets with her hus-
band, talking readily and eloquendy at his side when they visited
friends-with his own wife-who not only didn't read the novels
he took such pains to write but was completely pig-ignorant 3
about her husband's torment and anguish, and was happy as Since then until the present incident one and a half years had
long as she could raise the children satisfactorily-then he felt passed.
like screaming his lonelinessout loud. Just Iike Johannes in Lonelt During that time Yoshiko had returned home twice. She had
People,he could only feel how insignificant his own domestically written five short novels, one long one, and several dozen pas-
minded wife was. All this, all this loneliness, was shattered by sagesof elegant prose and new-style poetry. At her school her
Yoshiko. For who could remain unmoved when a beautiful, English marls were first-class,and she had bought the complete
modern, sophisticatedgirl pupil respecdully calls him Senseias works of Turgenev in English, which Tokio chose for her, from
though he were a man of great standing in the world ? lvfaruzen Boolshop. The first time she had gone home was during
For the first month she had stayed at Tokio's house. lVhat a the summer holidaln, and the second was in compliance with
contrast her gay voice and charming figure made with his pre- the doctor's advice that she should rela-r in the quiet countryside
vious sad and lonely life ! She would busy herself helping his of her home, following occasional hysteria-like convulsions due
wife, just up from the childbirth, and would knil s66fu m4 to neryous debility.
muffiers, sew clothes, play with the children. Tokio felt as if he'd The house where Yoshiko was staying was in Kdjimachi Dote
returned to his life as a newly-wed. He would feel a senseof Sanbanch6, next to the embankment where the Kdbu Line
excitement when he approached the door of his house. When trains passed.Her study was the guest room, a fairly large room
he opened that door, there in the porch was her smiling face, her fronting on a busy road that was a noisy place what with the
colorful figure. In the eveningpbefore, his wife and children used din of children and passers-by.Next to her lacguered paper-ply
to fall fast asleep,and the lamp, burning brightly but in vain in desk was a bookcaserather like a smaller version of the-Westein-
that little living room, would actually be if anything a source style bookcasein Tokio's study, and on top of it stood a mirror,
of misery. But now, however late he came home, beneath that a lipstick tray, ajar of face powder, and a large bottle of potas-
same lamp Yoshiko's white hands would be nimbly plyrng sium bromide, which she said was for her nervous headaches.
knitting needles,and on her lap would be colorful balls of wool. Prominent in the bookcasewere the complete works of K6y6,*
Now, it was cheerful laughter that filled the brushwood-hedge Chikamatsu's realistic j oruri baLlad-dramas,* * English textbooks,
confines of his home in the heart of Ushigome.
But before a month was out Tokio had realized the impossi- i Ozaki K6y6, 1867-1903,was popular for his combinednodernism and
Japanese
spirit.
bility of having that lovable girl pupil stay on in his house. His ** ChikamatsuMonzaemon, 1653-1724,was a famousclassicaldramatist,considered
docile wife didn't go so far as to complain about things, nor did essentialreading for any student ofiiterature.

{r
44 THE QUILT 45
and in particular her newly purchased complete works of Tur- recklessly.You must realize that you have full responsibility for
genev. Iiowever, upon returning from school, rather than sitting your own actions."
at her desk writing fiction or poetry this aspiring authoress of Yoshiko would listen to Tokio's sermonizing as though it were
the future preferred writing numerous letters. She had a con- of the utmost importance, and her feelings of admiration grew
siderable number of male friends, and a considerablenumber of ever stronger. She felt it was more liberal than Christian teaching,
letters in male handwriting would arrive for her. These friends and more authoritative.
included a student from the Tokyo Teachers' College and a Even for a grrl student, Yoshiko's personal appearance was
student from Waseda University, who apparently came to see excessivelyshowy. Her gold ring, her very fashionable pretty
her from time to time. waist-sash,and her carefree posture were more than enough to
There were not many such modern-minded girl students in draw the attention of people along the road. Her face was, rather
that corner of K6jimachi Dote Sanbanchd. Tokio's wife's folls than beautifiil, extremely expressive,and lvhile there were times
lived there, beyond the Ichigaya Approach, and there were as when it did seem beautiful in the extreme, there were also times
well many girls from conservative merchant families. Thus when it was somehow ugly. There was a sparkle in her eyes,and
Yoshiko's Kobe-bred sophistication drew the attention of the this was very often used to effect. Until four or five years before,
locals. Tokio was forever being told by his wife what her sister women had been extremelysimplistic when it came to expressing
had said: feelings, and were able to express only three or four different
"She's
having trouble with Yoshiko-san, she was saying only sorts of feeling, with basic looks such as of anger or joy. Now,
today. ft's one thing for her boyfriends to come calling, but in however, there were quite a lot of women who could very
the evening they go off together round the neighborhood and cleverly expresstheir feelings facially, and Tokio always felt that
don't get back till late, she says. Yoshiko-san always tells her Yoshiko was one such woman.
there's nothing to worry about, but rumors are rumors, my The relationship benveen Yoshiko and Tokio was just too
sister was saying." intimate merely for that of pupil and teacher. One female third-
lVhen he heard such things Tokio would always side with party, having observed the state of affairs between the two, had
Yoshiko and tell his wife, "You old-fashioned people will never remarked to Tokio's wife, "Ever since Yoshiko-san came Tokio-
understand what Yoshiko does. You only have to seea man and san seemsto have changed completely. trVhen you see the two
woman walking together and you think there's something strange of them talking together it's as if their souls were reaching out
going on, but you only think that way becauseyou're old-fash- for one another. Realln you should watch out, you know!" To
ioned. Nowadays women too are aware of themselves,and do other people, of course, it certainly looked that way, but as for
what they want to do!" the two people themselves,were they really that intimate ? . . .
Tokio would also proudly preach this ideal to Yoshiko. "Nowa- The feelings of a young woman, prone to high spirits. But
days women have to be self-aware. It's no good having the same then, just when you think she's in high spirits, suddenly she's
sort of attitude of depending on others as the women in the past. dejected. Feelings aroused by trivial things, similarly often upset
As Sudermann's Magda says,it's hopelessif you go straight from by trivial things. A tender attitude neither of love nor yet devoid
your father's hands into your husband's, with no pride in your- of love. Tokio was always confused. The strength of morality,
self. The modern woman in Japan must think for herself and the strength of convention-if only there were once an oppor-
then act for herself." He would go on to tell her about Ibsen's tunity, destroying these would be easier than tearing silk. How-
Nora and Turgenev's Elena, about how rich in both feeling and ever, such opportunities did not come readily.
willpower were the women in Russia and Germany, and would And yet, Tokio himself believed that there had been two oc-
then add, "But self-awarenessalso involves self-reflection, so casions in the last year when such an opportunity had at least
you mustn't simply go throwing your willpower and ego about come close. One had been when Yoshiko had sent him a lengthy
.to
THE QUILT 47
letter tearfully stating her belief that she was incompetent and numerous bouts of illness, and her nerves had developed into a
unable to repay his kindness as her teacher, and that therefore it highly strung state. She took vast quantities of the potassium
would be better for her to go back home, become a farmer's wife, bromide, but apparently still couldn't sleep. Constant desires
and lose herself in the oblivion of the countryside. The other and reproductive forces never hesitate to take possessionof a
time had been when Tokio had chanced to visit her one evening woman when she is of suitable age. Yoshiko grew familiar with a
and had found her alone in the house. fu for the letter, Tokio great number of medicines.
clearly understood its meaning. He had spent a sleeplessnight She had returned home at the end of April, had returned to
worrying about how he should reply. Giving searching glances Tokyo in September, and it was then that the present incident
at the face of his peacefully sleeping wife, he had censuredhim- had occurred.
self for his lack of conscience.And so, the letter which he sent in The presentincident? Yoshiko had a lover! On the way back
reply the following morning was that of the stern teacher. The to Tokyo she had gone off with him to Saga, in Kyoto. fu a
secondinstance was a spring night some two months later, when result of those two days spent in merrymaking the timetable
he had chanced to call on Yoshiko and found her sitting alone failed to tally berween her departure from home and her arrival
by the hibachi,* her face powdered and beautiful. in Tokyo. Letters had therefore been exchanged between Tokyo
"!Vhat's going on ?" he had asked.
"I'm looking after the house." and Bitchii, and after questioning Yoshiko it turned out to be
"Where's my sister-in-law gone, then?" a case of "love, pure love-the two of them most definitely
"Shopping, over in Yotsuya." hadn't done anything wrong, and wished desperately, at all
costs,to continue their love in the future." As her teacher,Tokio
She had looked him straight in the face as she replied. She found himself obliged to act as a sort of go-between, a witness to
'!vasso very seductive. His heart had raced shamelesslyat the
this love.
overporvering look she gave him. Then they exchanged a few Yoshiko's lover was a Ddshisha student, a prodigy from the
banal words, but both seemedto feel that those banalitieswere Kobe Church by the name of Tanaka Hideo, aged twenty-one.
not quite so insignificant. What might have happenedhad they
gone on talking for another quarter of an hour or so? Her eyes Yoshiko swore to her teacher, in the name of God, that their
had sparkled expressively, her words were coquettish, her at- love was pure. Her parents back home felt that to have gone
titude was most definitely something out of the ordinary. secretly flirting in Saga with some man, while still only a student,
"You're very pretty tonight," he had said in a deliberately
already meant her spiritual degeneracy. She however main-
light-hearted tone. tained, amid a flood of tears, that there had definitely been no
"I've just been in the bath."
"Your make-up'svery attractive, that's why you're so pretty!" dirty act, and that the mutuai awarenessof their love had come
"Now Sensei,what a thing to say!" only after she had left Kyoto. On arrival back in Tokyo she
had found awaiting her a passionateletter from him, and it was
She had laughed and moved her body coquettishly. then that they had first made their promises for the future. They
Tokio had returned home straight ^way. She had tried to get had definitely done nothing wrong, she maintained. Tokio, while
him to stay, but he had insisted on returning home, and so, feeling a senseof martyrdom, was obliged to act in the interests
looking reluctant, she had seen him off through the moonlit of their so-called pure love.
night. There was certainly something very mysterious contained He was in torment, greatly depressedat having been deprived
in that powdered face of hers. of someonehe cherishedso very much. From the first he had had
In April Yoshiko had come to look really oflcolor following no thought of making his pupii his lover. If he had had any such
fixed and clear-cut thought in mind he would not have hesitated
* A charcoal-burning brazier, the traditionalJapanese domestic heater. to seize those two earlier potential opportunities. However, his
 THE QUILT 49
48
a great show of fondness, but then got angry when the child
beloved pupil added beautiful color to his bleak existence and
started to cry and slapped his behind furiously. The three chil-
gave him a sort of limitless strength, so how could he be expected
dren grew frightened and backed away from him to a respecful
to endure her being snatchedsuddenly away by someoneelse?
distance, gazing in bewilderment at the red, drunken face of
He had let two opportunities go by, but the vague hope at the
their extraordinarily behaved father. He drank close on three
bottom of his heart was to wait for the arrival of a third and
pints and then simply collapsed on t}re spot in a drunken heap,
a fourth opportunity, and then to build a new destiny, a new
not minding that he sent the table flyttg as he did so. Then
life. He was in torment, his thoughts in confusion. Feelings of
presently, in strange, disjointed stanzas, he started to chant an
jealousy, regret, and vexation merged together and spun round
infantile verse of new-style poetry that had been popular some
in his mind like a whirlwind. To add to his confusion, a senseof
ten years before:
his moral obligation as her teacher was also mixed in, as was too
I haunt your doorway
a feeling of martyrdom that it was all for the sake of his loved
Like the dust of the street
one's happiness.He drank a great deal of saki with his evening
Blown about by the storm.
meal and went off to sleep as drunk as a lord.
More than that storm,
The next day was Sunday and it had rained, the steady down-
More than that dust,
pour in the woods behind his house seeming twice as miserable
It's the remnants of our love,
as usual, and all for Tokio's benefit. His thoughts dwelled upon
That lie scatteredin the dawn . . .
how long the streamsof rain were that fell onto the zelkova trees,
Halfway through tJreverse he suddenly stood up, still wearing
falling endlesslyfrom an endlesssky. He had no enthusiasm for
the quilt with which his wife had covered him, and, looking just
reading or writing. He just lounged in his wisteria chair-cold
like a little mountain, moved towards the parlor. His wife, very
to the back now that it was coming into autumn-and gazed at
worried, followed and asked where he was going. He paid no
the streaming rain, thinking, in the light of this incident, how
attention and tried to enter the toilet, still clad in the quilt. His
his life had been till norv. He had already suffered similar e.x-
wife was flustered:
periences. He invariably tasted the bitterness of lonely torment, "What are you doing? You shouldn't get drunk like this! It's
the torment of forever being made to stand on the outside of
horrible! That's the toilet!"
thitgp and, because of some wrong step, never being able to
Suddenly she pulled at the quilt from behind, and was left
enter into the heart of destiny. It was the same with literature,
holding it there in the entrance to the toilet. Tokio was relieving
the same with society. Love, love, love . . . Was he still being
himself in a dangerously erratic manner, and on finishing he
tossed,even now, by the waves of a negative fate ? The thought
promptly flopped straight down on his side, still in the toiiet.
left him overcome by his wretchednessand by the ineptitude of
'superfluousmanr"' he thought, and went His disgusted wife tried her best to move him, but he would
fate. "I am Turgenev's
neither move nor stand. Yet neither did he fall asleep,but rather,
over in his mind the transient life of that protagonist.
with wide piercing eyesin a face like red clay, he just stared at
Unable to endure the loneliness, that afternoon he said he
the rain pouring down outside.
wanted to drink sakd. He moaned because his wife was slow
preparing fftgp, and then the food he was given was tastelesqso
he inded up getting angry and drinking out of desperation. One
bottle, two botties . . . the number grew, and soon Tokio was
hopelessly drunk. He even stopped moaning at his wife. He
"Sak6 ! Sakd!" whenever he emptied the bottie.
4
would simply yell
Tokio came piodding back at the usual hour to his home in Ushi-
He gulped it down. The timid maid looked on in surprise and
gome Yaraich6.
disgust- First he hugged and kissed his five-year-old son with
 50
THE QUILT 5I
For three days he had been struggling with that torment. him abouthow I'd toldyu eaerything, aboutltourkind.words,and,about
Part of him had a sort of strength that made it impossible for howyou'd kindl| become the witnessandprotectorof ourpure and sincere
him to abandon himself to indulgence. He always regretted being loae, he was extremrl2moued$t lour kindnessand, was oaercome with
controlled by this strength, but sooner or later he was always tearsof gratinde. It seemshe was extremelyshockedby the ouer-worried
beaten and forced into submission by it. For this reason he was nature of m1tleUn and had comeup to Tolgtoprepared
obliged always to taste the bitterness of standing on the outside for the worst.
He said lu'd comzutith the intention of, if necessary,getiing afiend_
of destiny, and was considered by society to bL a correct and who'd gonewith us tlwt time to saga-to act as witneist0 nata it clear
trustworthy man. After three days of anguish he could at reast that nothing dirt| tookplace betweenus, and fu wanted to explain how
now see how things stood before him. The curtain had come we became awared our loaeonly after we'd parted. He abo wanted,to
down on the first act of his relationship with Yoshiko. From now askif2ou'd be kind enoughto tell all thisto ryt parentsbackhome.But
on he would just have to do his duty as a teacher and think of seeinghow I'ae jwt aal rashll upsetm1tparents'-feelings,how could,we
the happinessof the woman he loved. ft was hard, but life was do that? we'ae now cometo the conrlusionthat tfu bit thing to do is
hard. Such were his thoughts as he went home. wait a uhile and say nothing,to cfurish our hopesand deaoti ourselaes
His wife came up to greet him as soon as he opened the door. to our studies,and wait for an opportunit2to exptain things eaenif it,s
The day was still hot, a late fling of summer, and his under-
fae or tenlears from now. I alsotold him euerything ltou'd-said.Aid so,
wear was soaked in sweat. He changed into a simple unlined things being settled,fu should haaegone back, bii wfun I sau how
starched white kimono and sat in front of rjrrehibathi in the thoroughlyworn out he looked,I just couldn'tterl hhn to go straightbark
living room. His wife took a letter from the sideboard, as though again- (Please forgiae my weakrcss.)I do try to honorTour ad,aice that
she had just rememberedit. I shouldn'tget inaolaedin prailical problemswhile I'm in the middleof
" From
Yoshiko-san," she said as she handed it to him. m1 studies,but, for tfu time being, I got him settledin a traael lodgi,
He opened it quickly. Just by looking at the t}ickness of the andinre fu'd takentlu troubleto com^e sofar, I endedup sqing I, d spend,
roll of paper he knew it was about the incident. He eageriy started a d_a/sightsuing with him. Pleareforgiae me, seruei.For ali oui passinnate
to read.
feelings, we still haaecommonsmse,and we uon't do arrythingttot *ight
It was in the new colloquial writing style, the penmanship be misunderstood b7 othns, suchas at Kloto wlun we tempoiaiQ f;gnt
flowing and excellent. ourselaes. f swearto2ou we won't do arything like that.
Smsei, Best wishu also to your wife,
Actually I wantedto talk this ooerwith you, but things happmedtoo
Toshiko
quickly so I jut aded on m1 ownjudgment. As Tokio read this letter various feelingskindled rike fire within
futerday, at four o'clock, a telegran carnefrom Tanaka saying he him. That twenty-one-year old boy Tanaka had actually come
wouldarriueat ShinbashiSntion at ix-Iou can't irnaginehou surprised to Tokyo. Yoshiko had gone to meet him. Who knows what they
I was! did? What shehad just told him might be a pack of lies. perhaps
I was really wonied because I belieaedthat tu wasn,t the rash sortd there'd been physical motives ever since Tinaka had fint met
personwho'd comeabout nothing. Smsei,please
forgioe me-I went to herat Suma bathing resort during the summer holidays, and so,
meethim at thesaid time. WhenI methim and askedhim why he,dcome, having sought to gratify his desiresin Kyoto, he had now come
ti
it turnedout that, qfter reading n7 letter-in which I explainedeaerlt- to Tokyo in pursuit of the woman for whom he could no lon.qer
i '
I
thing-he'd beenreally wonied that perhaps, becauseof this incident, contain his desire. They had no doubt held hands. Their heJns
I,
I
I mightbe takenof batk home,and that he,dbe to blame.So,he,daban-
donedhis studiesstraight awal and comeup to Toklo with the intention
yould have pressedagainst each otler. \Alho knows what they
I doing upstairs in that travel lodge, out of other people,s
of explaining euerlthing to 2ou, apologi{ng, asking for support, and. laf legn
lr
I
sight? Ilwas only a fleeting moment between purity and'im-
I' trytng to ensurethat euerythingwent snoothll. Thm whenI exprainedto purity. Tokio couldn't bear such thoughts. ,,This concerns my

l"
52 THE QUILT 53

responsibility as her supervisor!" he cried out angrily- wighin him overcome his depression.At the third bottle his wife grew
,,I can,t leave things like this! I can't allow such freedom worried.
himself.
p-ro- "\Mhat's the matter with you lately?" she asked.
to a woman of capricious mind. I must exercisesupervision,
'We are passionatebut sensible'-v[a3'5 this 'we'? Why "why?"
tection.
"fsn't it a fact you do nothing but get drunk?"
did she write'we'and not'I'? Why did she use the plural?"
"Is there anything the matter, then, if I get drunk?"
Tokio was confused, angry. Tanaka had arrived at six the pre'
"I'd say so, yes. I think there's something on your mind.
vious evening. If Tokio went to his sister-in-law's and asked, he
could find out what time Yoshiko had returned that night. But Shouldn't you stop worrying about Yoshiko-san?"
"Fool !" thundered Tokio.
what had they done today? \AIhat were they doing now?
The dinner, which his wife had so carefully prepared, included His wife went on undaunted.
"Well, it's poison if you drink too much, you knorv, so I should
fresh sliced raw tuna and chilled bean-curd with sirso-plant
seasoning,and although he didn't feel much like savoring his stop while you're still all right. If you lay yourself out again in
meal, he got through one drink of sakCafter another' the toilet, you're too big for me and the maid Otsuru to manage
His rvife put the youngest child to bed and then came and sat between the two of us!"
"Never you mind-let's just have another bottle!"
in front of the hibachi.Glancing at Yoshiko's letter at her hus-
band's side, she asked: And so he drank another half-bottle. He now seemedvery
"What did Yoshiko have to saY?" drunk. His face had turned a copper color and his eyes were
Without replying, Tokyo tossedthe letter to her. As shecaught rather fixed. Suddenly he stood uP.
"Get my waist-sashout!"
it she gave him a siarching look, and knew a storm was brewing'
"Where are you going?"
She read the letter through and then rolled it up'
t'He's come, tlten?" "I'm off to Sanbanchd."
"IJh." "IvIy sister's?"
"Will he stay on in Tokyo, do you think?" "IJh."
"Isn't it written in the letter! He's going back soon, she "You should forget that idea-you're not in a fit state!"
"\Mhat!? I'm all right! You can't be given responsibilityfor
says. . ."
"WilIhe go back, though, I wonder?" someone'sdaughter and then neglect to look after her! I can't
"ll/ho knows?" just look the other way when this fellow comes up to Tokyo and
Her husband's tone was harsh, so she kept quiet' Then, after goesstrolling about with her! I can't relax while she'sover with
a while: your sister Takawa, so I'm going to bring her back here today,
"Well, it's really too bad. A young girt like her, saying she if there's time. You go and clean upstairs."
"You're going to bring her back to stay here, again . . . ?"
wants to be a ttou.iitt or something-she might well want what
t'Of course!"
she wants, but her parents should act like properly responsible
parents too, shouldn't theY?" His wife didn't seemkeen to get out his waist-sashand outdoor
"But I dare say you were relieved at her affair!" he was about kimono.
"Well, don't concern yourself about "All right, then!-If you won't get my things out, I'll go like
to say, but checked himself.
it-people like you just don't understand. . . ' \alhy don't you this !"
just
- pour some saki instead?" He hurried out, just as he was, without a hat, in his plain
Hi, obedient wife took up the sak6-pourerand fil1ed his Kyoto- white kimono with its dirty muslin under-belt.
"I'm just getting them out! . . . Dear me, what next?" He
made porcelain cuP to the brim.
Tokio knocked back the sakd as though it alone could help heard his wife's words behind him.
54 THE QUiLT s5
The summery day was drawing to a close.The birds were chat- His mind was excited, his wild feelings and the pleasure of his
tering noisily in Yarai's Sakai Wood. In the nearby housesthe sadnessmustered all their force, and while on thi one hand he
evening meal had been finished, and made-up young women was carried away by a burning jealousy, on the other he was
appeared in the doorways as they set out for the evening. Some coolly and objectively considering his own situation.
boys were playrng ball. He also encountered several couples :,r"' of course his feelings were not the passionate feelings of a
strolling to the Kagurazaka-thinly moustached gentlemen, 8'
first love. Rather than blindly following his fate, he was-coolly
government officials to judge from appearances, escorting their appraising that fate. Burning feelings and ice-cold objectivl
14'
young wives, with their fashionable low-pompadour hairstyles. appraisal fused firmly together like entwined threads, urrd pro-
Tokio was thrown into disorder by his agitated feelings and duced in him an extraordinary state of mind.
drunken body, and all his surroundings seemed to belong to He was sad, truly deeply sad. His sadnesswas not the sadness
a different world. It seemedto him as though the houseson either of florid youth, nor simply the sadnessof lovers. It was a more
side were moving, the ground Sving way beneath his feet, the profound and greater sadness,a sadnessinherent in the innermost
sky coming down over his head. Although he had never had reachesof human life. The flowing of moving waters, the wither-
a particularly good tolerance for drink he had just drunk heavily ing of blossoming flowers-when encountering that irresistible
and recklessly,and it had gone straight to his head. All at once force which is deep within nature, there is rothit g as wretched
he recalled how lower-classRussians got drunk and fell flat out nor as transient as man.
asleepon the roadside. He remembered having told a friend that Tears flowed down over Tokio,s whiskered face.
this shorvedwhat great people the Russianswere-if you're going Then suddenly an idea struck him. He stood up and started
to let yourself go, then you should let yourself go all the way! walking. rt was now full rright. The glasslamps .r..t.d here and
"Fool ! How there in the grounds gave off their light, a;d the three words
could love possiblymake any discrimination betrveen
"all-night
teacher and pupil ?" he yelled at himself. lamp" showed clearly on their faces. It upset him to
By the time he had climbed Nakanezaka Hill, gone past the read those three words. Had he not once before looked upon
rear gate of the Officers' School, and come to the top of Sanai- those three words in a state of great distress? When his wife ias
zaka Hill, the day had drawn completely to a close.Many people still unmarried and living just below the high ground where he
in white Tukata were passing by. The tobacconist's young wife now stood, he had often climbed to this same spot hoping just
had come out in front of the shop. The hanging curtain in the to catch the faint sound of her harp. so great had been hii p*iio.t
doorway of the shop selling iced refreshments fluttered in the that if he couldn't win her he had wished only to cast himself
evening breeze with a suggestionof coolness.Gazing vacantly at in some colony in the South Seas,and he had often pon-
lway-
this summery night scene Tokio bumped into a telegraph pole dered things while gazing at those three qpelds-.c2llnisht
and, on the point of collapse, fell to his kneesin a shallow ditch. lamp"-"od at the haiku poems on the paper lanterns, at ihe
"Drunkard! Stay sanctuary, at the long stone steps, at the temple gates.
on your feet!" yelled someworkman contemp- lemple
tuously. Below,just as in earlier days, stood the samehousesand, although
Suddenly seeming to come to his senses,Tokio turned to the the occasional rumbling of a passing train now broke the silence,
right from the top of the hill and went into the grounds of the just as in the old days a light shone bright and clear from the
Hachiman Temple. Here there was no one to be seen and all windows of his wife's house. What a fickle heart! Who would
was peaceful. Tall old zelkovasand pines formed a canopy over- .have thought that things would change so much after just eight
head, and in a corner to the left stood a huge, thick coral tree. years? Why, with the change of her unmarried. monowarehiir-
Here and there the all-night lamps started to come on and cast style into tJre rounded chignon marutage style of a married
their light. In terrible distress, Tokio plunged into the shadow woman, had their pleasant life become so bleak? l{hy had he
of the coral tree and laid himself out on the ground at its base. now come to feel this new love ? Tokio could not help feeling
56 THE QUILT 57

an acute awarenessof the frightening Power of time. However, noticed in surprise the liberal amount of mud on Tokio's clothes.
"Well now, what's
strange as it was, the facts of the Present situation remained happened to you, Tokio-san?"
completely unchanged. Under the clear bright light of the lamp he could see, sure
"faradox it may be, but there's nothing I can do about it' enough, on the shoulder, knee, and hip of his plain white casual
That paradox, that inconstancy, is a fact, and facts are facts' kimono, not merely a trace but a very large amount of mud.
"What? Oh, I just fell
Fad!" over back there."
"Really? But it's even
The thought echoed through his mind. on your shoulder! You were drunk
Like a being oppressedby the unendurable forces of nature, again, I suppose."
"What! . . ."
Tokio once again laid down his bulky frame, this time on a
nearby bench. Chancing to look up, he saw that a large and Tokio tried to turn the comment arvay with a forced laugh.
lusterlesscopper-colored moon had risen silently over the pines He continued, not letting up in the least.
"Where's Yoshi-sangone?"
along the moat. The color, the form, the aPPearance' y:re "lVhen she went off this
thoroughly miserable. Tokio thought how well it matched his morning she said she was going for
o*r, pi.t.t t misery, and once again his heart was filled with a walk with a friend, towards Nakano. She should be back any
unbearable sadness. time now. Anything you wanted with her?"
"Well, yes, a small matter.
By now he had soberedup. The evening derv had started to . . . Was she back late last night?"
"No. She said she was going
fall. to Shinbashi to meet a friend,
He arrived in front of the house in Dote Sanbanch6' left just after four and came back around eight."
He looked, but could see no light in Yoshiko's room' It ap- She looked at Tokio's face. "Is anything the matter ?"
"Well, really, after all.
peared that she still hadn't returned. His heart raced feverishly . . ." Tokio's tone became serious."I
again. Alone with her lover, on a dark night like tonight! \{ho just thought we'd have problems if the same sort of thing that
knew what they might be getting up to ? When they acted as happened in Kyoto were to happen again, and that therefore
"pure love," their I ought to have her back at my place and keep a proper eye
stupidly as this, what was to become of their
claim to have committed no vulgar act? on her."
"Yes, that would
Tokio's first thought was to go inside, but then, realizing there be best. Really, Yoshiko-san has such a
was no point in going in before Yoshiko got back, he went strong character, and for uneducated people like me . . ."
"No, that's not the reason.It's just
straight past. As he walked he looked at the face of each woman that to allow her too much
he passed, thinking she might be Yoshiko. He loitered-first freedom might turn out to be against her own interests, and so
oo ih. embankment, then in the shadow of the pines, then at I thought of having her at home and looking after her prop-
the corner of the road-so much that he began to arouse the erly."
"Well, that would
suspicions of passen-by. It was now nine o'clock, now almost be best. Really, even Yoshiko-san. . . .
te.r. Yor. might well say it was a summer night, but there was There's nothing really bad about her, and she's bright and
no reason for being out quite as late as this. convinced that intelligent and a rare sort of person, but if she does have a fault
Yoshiko must have returned by now, he returned to his sister- then it's this habit of hers of walking nonchalantly around at
in-law's house, but no, she still wasn't back after all' night with her men friends. I'm often telling her that it's the
He went in. one thing she should stop, but when I say that she just laughs
No sooner had he gone through to the small fiving room at and calls me old-fashioned. And then I hear how, at the police-
the back than he asked: box on the corner, they felt it suspicious that she was always
"What's happened to Yoshi-san?" hanging around with these men and how a plainclothes detective
Before answirit g, in fact before all else, his sister-in-law had been stationed outside the house. Of course those things
 .I'HE
T'UILI :
58
"Oh no-it's for me too !" replied Yoshiko cheerfully' Although
aren't really going on and so I'm not worried in that sense,
she had looked as if she intended to go into the next room, she
but. . . ."
"When was this ?" wa:i now obliged to sit in a corner of the living room, under the
"The end of last yeat." dazzhng lighr of the lamp. Her beautiful figure, her fashionable
"She's just a bit too sophisticated for comfort." Glancing at hairstyli, her colorful flannel kimono tied neatly with an olive-
"Anyway, green summer-style waist-sash,her seductive appeal as she casu-
his watch, which showed half past ten, he added,
itty tuy back. . . . Sitting facing this figure, Tokio felt a sort of
I wonder what's happened? Staying out alone as late as this,
vague satisfaction, and half forgot his earlier distressand anguish.
at her age. . . ."
"She'll be back soon." No matter how powerful your rival in love, if you can just Possess
"Does this happen often, then?" the girl you can at least feel somesort of peaceof mind'
"I really am late getting back."
t'No, it's to.ry ,tttut.tal. But it's a summer evening, so she'll
She apologized again, quiedy, uneasily.
be out thinking it's still earlY." "You weni to Nakano then, for a walk?" Tokio askedabruptly'
His sister-in-law went on with her needlework as she talked. "Yes . . ." Yoshiko shot another searchingglance at him'
In front of her stood a cutting-board with broad-based leg-
His sister-in-law made some tea. On opening the present she
supports, while silk cuttings and thread.sand scissorslay scattered "Oh, how deli-
found it was her special favorite, cream puffs.
about in jumbled disarray. The lamplight shone clearly on the
cious!" she exclaimed, and for a moment or two everyone's
beautiful colors of women's clothes. The mid-september night
attenlion was focusedon the cakes.
wore on, it grew a little chilly, and a Kobu Line cargo train
After a while Yoshiko sPoke:
passedby along the embankment behind the house, setting uP "Sensei, were you waiting for me, then?"
a dreadful shaking. "Yes, that's right-he's been waiting over an hour and a half,
Every time he heard the sound of geta Tokio felt sure it had
you know !" cut in Tokio's sister-in-law.
to be Yoshiko, but eventually, just after eleven had struck, a '
With this the whole story came out, about how he had come
particular light, mincing sound of a girl's geta cotld be heard
with the intention of taking her back with him, that very night
resounding through the quiet night.
"This time it rs Yoshiko-s?n," said his sister-in-law. if possible-her luggage could be sent on later. Yoshiko listened
with head bowed, nodding assent. certainly she felt a certain
Sure enough, the footsteps stopped at the entrance to the
coercion, and yet deep down she had absolute faith in Tokio-
house, and the sliding-door opened with a noisy rattling'
"Yoshiko-san?" and after all, it **tt't so bad to go and live in the home of
"Yes," replied a charming voice. a teacher who had sympathized so much with her recent love
affair. In fact, for some time now she had been unhappy about
A tall, biautiful figure with a fashionable low-pompadour
staying in this old-fashioned house and had wished, if only it
hairstyle came quickly and quietly in from the porch'
"Oh! lVhat a surPrise!Sensei!" ouereiossible, that she could live as she had at the beginning, in
Sensei'shouse; and so, if only it hadn't come about as it had,
Her tone was cnough to reveal her surprise and embarrass-
she would have been only too huPPy about the plan'
ment.
"Sorry I'm so later" she said as she came to the doorway Tokio was anxious to find out about her lover. where was he
norv? When was he going back to Kyoto? For Tokio this was
between the front room and the living room. Then, half-sitting
a truiy important question. But he couldn't reveal everything by
and flashing a searching glance at Tokio, she took out a Purple
asking in front of his sister-in-law, who knew nothing, and so
cr.p.-*tupped package and handed it to his sister-in-law'
';Oh, wtat's this then? A present? Really, you always go to that ivening he said not a word about it. The three talked into
the night about trivia.
such trouble over me. . . ."
 'r.tsul bl
llurLl
Tokio had mentioned her moving back that very evening, but
the storeroomshad been left for the children to play in, and were
since it was now midnight his sister-in-law thouglt it besl that
thick with dust, but, after setting to work with a broom and
Yo1liko go the following day. Tokio considered ieturning alone
dusters and after repairing the broken, rain-stained sliding paper
to Ushigome, but he felt hopelesslyworried and so, or, tL. pr.-
screens,it became so bright and cheerful one would not have
text ofit being late, he arranged to stay the night at his sister-in-
believed it possible. The place was fi"lled with a pleasant green-
law's and for himself and Yoshiko to leavi earlv the nexr
ness by the huge, thickly growing trees of the Sakai Cemetery
morning.
to the rear of the house, and the view also included the neigh-
Yoshiko slept in the front room, while Tokio and his sister-in-
bor's grapevine trellis, and the abandoned garden with poppies
law slept in the slightly smaller living room. presently he could
blooming beautifully amid the weeds.For the alcove Tokio ihose
hear his sister-in-law's little snores. The clock struck one. Ao- a wall-scroll of morning-glory by a certain artist, and placed
parently Yoshiko was finding it hard to get to sleep,for from time
some late-blooming rosesin the hanging vase.
to time he heard what seemedto be a loud sigh. A K6bu Line
Around noon her luggage arrived-a large Chinese trunk,
cargo train passed by alone through the still night, setting up
wicker cases,cloth bags, the bookcase, the desk, her bedding-
a dreadful shaking in the house. For a long while Tokio too
and it was no small task to carry it all upstairs. Tokio was obliged
was unable to get to sleep.
to take the day off work in order to help.
The desk was placed under the window to the south, the
bookcaseon its left, and on top were set the mirror, the lipstick-
tray, and the bottle. The Chinese trunk and the wicker cases
5 went into one half of the rvall-cupboard; then, as he was about
to put the set of patterned bedding into the other ha$ Tokio
The next morning Tokio escorted yoshiko to his own house.
caught a faint, lingering, feminine smell, and felt rather strange.
He had wanted to find out about the previous day,s happen-
By two o'clock the place had achieved a degree of order.
ings as soon as he was alone with her, but when ire ,"on ho* "Well, how
about this, then? It shouldn't be too unpleasant
she was following dejectedly on behind him with bowed head,
living here," said Tokio, laughing and looking very pleased with
rather sorry for her, and walksd on in silence, containing himself. "The thing to do here is study quietly. Really, there,s
l: tt,
his impatience.
no sensein getting worried over practical issues."
When they reached the top of Sanaizaka Hill tJrerewere only "Yes. . ." Yoshiko
hung her head.
a few passers-by. Tokio suddenly turned round and asked "We
can go over things in detail later, but for the moment the
abruptly: two of you just have to settle down to your studies."
"Well,
what happened?" "Yes
6(Eh?" . . ." Yoshiko raised her head. "That's just what we both
Yoshiko frowned as she returned the question. feel too, Sensei-for both of us to study now, and hold out hope
"I'm
talking about yesterday! Is he still here?t' for the future, perhaps even for my parents' consent."
"He's
going back on the six o'clock express.', "That's
"So, good. At the moment, if you make too much of a
won't you have to seehim ofl tJ:en?"
"No, that's fuss, you'll only be misunderstood by everybody, including your
not necessarynow.t' parents, and you'll end up unable to make that special dream
With this their conversation came to an end, and they walked
of yours come true."
on in silence. "And
so, Sensei,I want to devote myself to my studies. That's
In Tokio's house in Yaraich6 they cleaned the upstairs three-
what Tanaka said, too. He also said that he should definitely
mat and six-mat rooms, which had been used till then as store-
meet you and thank you, and he asked me to give you his best
rooms, and made them into Yoshiko's living quarters. For ages
regards . . .t'
 b2

"Really, THE QUILT 63

there's no need . . ."
Tokio was unhappy with yoshiko,s use of the word ,,we', and. into his study and talk to her about literature,
about novels,
her thinking in the gl11al, as though they had now openly about love. He would give her advice about
her future. His
pledged their betrothal. He was surprised that a still unmarried attitude at such times was fair, frank, and full
of sympathy, and
girl of nineteen or twenty and in th- budding bloom of woman- one would never have thought him the same
man who had
hood could talk like that. He felt, somewhat belatedly, how times collapsed blind drunk in theloilet and laid
himself flat our on
had changed. He was surprised how much the iharacter of the ground. Even so, it wasn't that Tokio actually
pf"rrrrJ on
modern girl students differed from that of the unmarried girls of adopting such an attitude, but rather that,
at *o*.rrt *hen
his own courting days. of course, from the point of vi-ew of he was face to face with his beloved woman,
no sacrifice was
principle and personal taste, he was certainly pleased to see this too great in order to gain her favor.
character in girl students. old-fashioned education simply could. And so, Yoshiko had faith in her teacher.
she even believed
not equip a girl to be the wife of a modern, Meiji man. Hi, o*r, that when the time for speaking to her parents, even if
view was that girls too had to stand on their own feet and de- there.was going to -came
be a clash betweJn old uoi rr.*'ways of
velop their own willpower. Indeed, he had often preached this thinking, then it would be enough just to
have the ,rrppo.t of
view to Yoshiko. But naturally, when it came to seeing this this benevolentteacher
new+tyle sophisticationactually put into practice, he couldn't Septemberbecame October. A desolatewind
rustled through
help showing a certain consternation. the wood behind the house, the sky turned
a deeper, darker
blue, the sunlight came piercingly through the clear
uir,'u.rJ tn"
A postcard was forwarded the folrowing day from his sister- ;r.gninS.shadows gave a nerv dipth to iheir surroundings. Rain
in-law's housein sanbanchd. It was post-markedK6zu in Kana- fell all day long on the remaining taro leaves,
arrd mu"shrooms
gawa and was from Tanaka, saying he was on his way home. appeared in the gt...tgroc.rr, shops. The cries of
9n $;nlaf
Yoshiko, now installed upstairs, would come dolvn ., ,oor, u, rruectsin the hedgesdisappearedwith the dew,
and the leaves
she was called. The daily meals would all be taken in a happy of the paulownia trees in- the gardens fell frail to
the grourra.
"was
For one hour each morning, from nine till ten,
atmosphere. In the eveningp,as they gathered round'the there an
family explanation_of Turgenev,snoveh, and under her
bright_shining lamp, the conversation would wa-xlively. yoshiko teacher,stwin-
knitted socks for Tokio. She never failed to present a beautiful, kling eyes,Yoshiko would lean acrossthe desk as
she ristened to
smiling face. Tokio had her completely to himself, and at least the lengthy story of on the Eae. How moved she
must have
this gave him a certain relief and satisfaction. His wife too, been.by-Elena's passionatefeelings and strong, willful
character,
knowing that Yoshiko now had a lover, completely forgot her and by her sad and tragic fate. Voshiko compared Elena,s
love
feeiings of danger and unease. story with her own and lost henelf in the novel. Her
love's fare
-the fateful act of placing
It was painful to Yoshiko to be separated from her lover. If her future in the hands of someone
unexpected, dth no chance to love tJle man she really
only it had been possible she would have liked him to be there wurried
to-this was just how yoshiko actually felt at the
in Tokyo with her, and just once in a while be able to see him, dme. She
had never dreamed that the lilyJeaf postcard she
speak to him. But she knew this was difficult at the present time. had chanced
to receive at Suma Beach would lead to such a destiny.
she realized that, until he graduated from Ddshisha in a few
years' time, they would have to study quietly and wholeheartedly, As she looked out on the wood, out there in the rain,
in the
"F1,, in, the moonlight, yoshiko had various thoughts
only exchanging the occasional letter. And so, in the afternoons,- 'f about her
alarr. he night train to Kyoto, the moon over Saga,
she went as before to her private Engtsh school in Kdjimachi, "to the beau-
tiful suruet over Lake Biwa when they had gone
while Tokio went to his job in Koishikawa. -in Zeze, the
lespedeza blooming in picturesqrr. profrrion
From time to time in the evening, Tokio wourd calr yoshiko the garden of
the inn. . . . Those two days of-fun seemed now a
drIam. Her
64 THE QUILT 65
thoughts went further back, to before the time she had fallen "f just
don't know what to do."
in love with him, to swimming at Suma Beach, to the moon over "Didn't you lead
him into this, then?"
"No I didn't!" She shook
the hills at home, to before the time she had fallen ill-her cheeks her head emphatically. "In facr,
flushed instinctively at the particular thought of her distress at I told him that for the time being we were in a fix and that he
that time. should at least graduate from D6shisha, and I made him give
From reverie to reverie . . . The reveries took the form of iong up this idea of his when he first mentioned it, but now . . . now
letters, bound for Kyoto. And bulky letters would come back he's acting completely on his own. And it's too late to do any-
from Kyoto, almost every other day. However much they wrore, thing about it now, he says."
their feelings were inexhaustible. In fact, their correspondence "Why?"
was so frequent that Tokio waited until yoshiko was out and "!Vell, you see, in Kobe
there's this Christian called K6zu
then, placating his conscience with the pretext of supervision, who's been payrng Tanaka's expenses,for the sake of the Kobe
went furtively through her writing-case and the drawirs of her Church. Tanaka went and told him that he wasn't cut out for
desk. He read hurriedly through the two or tlree letters from religion and wanted to make his career in literature. And then
Tanaka which he found. he asked him to let him go to Tokyo. Kdzu got angry at this
They were full of lovers' sweet words. However, Tokio was and told him t}lat if that was the casethen he didn't care any
trytng hard to find out something a bit more than that, to dis- longer and to do what he wanted, and so now he's made all
cover a certain secret.Was there no evidenceanywhere of their these preparations,and I just don't know what to do."
"How stupid!" Tokio snapped
lips having met, of sexual desire? Had their relationship not again. "Please get him to stop
gone beyond the bounds of pure love? But the real state of this time too. This idea he has of making his career writing
their love could not be learned even from theseletters. novels-it's not possible,it's just a daydream, a complete and
A month went by. utter daydream! And besides,if he does come here to Tokyo, I
Then one day Tokio took receipt of a postcard addressedto shall be in an extremely difficult position over your supervision.
Yoshiko. It was written in English. He read it, nonchalantly. I won't be able to look after you, so please,make sure you get
It was from Kyoto, from Tanaka, to the effect that he had saved him to stop!"
enough money to support himself for a month and was now Yoshiko looked increasingly worried. "I'Il try to get him to
wondering if he could find work in Tokyo to keep him going stop, but my letter may be too late."
afterwards. Tokio's heart raced. His peace of mind wai de- "Too late? Is he already on his way,
then?" Tokio's eyes
stroyed at a stroke. opened wide in astonishment.
He asked Yoshiko about it after dinner. "He said in the letter I just got that I wasn't to send any further
She looked upset. "Sensei, I just don't know what to do- letters becausethey'd be too late."
Tanaka saln he's coming to Tokyo ! I've stopped him severaltimes "The letter you just got? Did one come after that postcard you
already, but for semg1sa56n-tre saysthat after this affair he's sick just got?"
of pursuing religion and leading a life of hypocrisy, or something Yoshiko nodded.
like that-anyway, he says he's definitely coming to Tokyo.,, "\,Ve're in trouble, then. That's why they say young
day-
"What
does he intend to do in Tokyo ?" dreamers are hopeless."
"He
says he'd like to do literature." His peace of mind was destroyed a second time.
" 'Literature'?
What's that, then, 'literature'? Writing novels,
do you mean?"
" Y e s ,I s u p p o s e s o . . . "
"How
stupid!" roared Tokio.
66 THE qUILT 67
His wife suddenly whispered something to him.
"Upstairs-this
. . ." She imitated someone sewing clothes.
"She's
making something for him, you know-a blue and white
6 splash-pattern student's coat! And she's bought lots of white
cotton cord as well."
Two days later a telegram came from Tanaka to say he would "Really?"
be arriving at Shinbashi at six that evening. Telegram in hand, "Yes, really,"
his wife laughed.
Yoshiko was in complete confusion. She wasn't allowed to go Tokio felt far from laughing.
to meet him, however, as it wouldn't have been right to allow
a young giri out alone at night. With blushing face Yoshiko told him that today she would
She met him the next day, saying she would remonstrate be back a little late.
strongly with him and somehow or other get him to return to "You're going there,
then?" he asked.
Kyoto. He was staying in a travel lodge called Tsuruya, in front "Oh no! I just have
to call in at a friend's for something."
of the station. That evening, with a certain desperation, Tokio visited her
When Tokio came home from work, although he had not lover in his lodgings.
expected Yoshiko to be back by then, there as usual was her "Sensei, really, I don't know
what to say . . ." Tanaka made
smiling face in the porch. It turned out that Tanaka would def- his formal apologies in a drawn-out, flowing tone, as though
initely not return to Kyoto after having made up his mind to he were making a public speech. He was of medium height,
come to Tokyo. Yoshiko had clashedwith him almost to the point slightly plumpish, and of pale complexion, and he spoke as if
of arguing, but all to no avail. He had come to Tokyo with his seekingsympathy, with a look in his eyesas if at prayer.
hopes pinned on Sensei,but well, if that was how it was, then Tokio was heated. "But wouldn't it be best to do that, if you
that was horv it was. He also fully appreciated the inconvenience understand? I'm speakingwith the future of the pair of you in
with regard to supervision. But it was now impossible for him to mind. Yoshiko is my pupil. IVIy responsibilities rvon't allow me
go back, and so all he could do was try to support himself and to let her give up her studies.If you insist on staying in Tokyo,
try to achieve his objective. then I must either send her back home, or reveal everything to
Tokio was disturbed to hear what Tanaka had said. For a time her parents and beg their approval-I must chooseone of these
he thought of telling the pair to do as they pleased,and of com- two coursesof action. I don't imagine you're the sort of egoistic
pletely abandoning the matter, but how could he remain totally person who would let the girl you love be kept at home back
indifferent, involved as he was? there in the hills just for your own sake. You say that this affair
During the next few days there was no sign that Yoshiko had has turned you off religion, but that's just one point of view.
visited Tanaka again, and she came home punctually from school, If you were just to bear up and return to Kyoto, then everything
but Tokio's heart burned with a jealous suspicion that she might would go smoothly and there'd be hope for your relationship in
just have said she was going to school while actually going to the future."
seeher lover. He was greatly "I fully appreciate what you're
@hange saying . . ."
from momentftho@ *o"ta aiciiF'to be- "But you can't do it?"
- -1 '-

"Well, I'm sorry,

- - - - -a comprere"iitq4-ald-do .".-rytiiirrg-[e-c6nFE-6;
come
-'-

but. . . I've sold my hat and uniform, and

pair]w-lille-tEenext he would decide-tod6Gby ev_91-yih-ing'at t even if I wanted to, I couldn't go back now."
-rilgt; "So do I
rttot@b tfing to'tt.t- pur."li3.it send Yoshiko back home, then?"
in his i:T-aenffi t6 taFe_Eimer6-urse Tanaka remained silent.
in practice. "Shall
I tell her parents, then?"
68
THE qUrLT 69
Tanaka continued to remain silent for a while, but presently Somehow he felt foolish. He felt as if he'd done something
spoke. stupid, and derided himself for it. He had spoken rvords of flattery
"My reasons
for being in Tokyo have nothing to do with all that he did not mean, and he remembered horv, to conceal the
that. Even now that I'm here it won't particuiarly affect our secretin his own heart, he had even promised to act as a "kind-
relationship . . ." hearted guardian" of their love. He also rememberedsaying he
"That's
what you say. But it means I can't superviseher. would take the trouble to introduce Tanaka to someonehe kner,v
You can never tell when love will give in to indulgence." in order to get him some minor translating lvork. He cursed
"Well,
that's not what I intend." himself for having no pride and for being too nice a chap.
"Can you
swear to it?" He thought things over again and again. Perhaps it would
"As long
as I can study quietly, there'll be nothing like that." be better to tell her parents. But the problem then was what
"In that case
it's hopeless!" attitude to adopt in doing so. fu long as he felt himself to be
They sat facing each other for some considerabletime, con- holding the key to their love, he felt a heavy responsibility. He
tinuing this roundabout sort of conversation.Tokio proposed couldn't bring himself to make a sacrifice of his beloved,spas-
Tanaka's returning to Kyoto, on grounds such as hope for the sionate love affair for the sake of his own unreasonablejealousy
future, the sacrificeof the male, the advancementof the affair, and his own improper feelings of love, and at the same time,
and so on. The Tanaka Hideo that now appeared before his as their self-styled"kind-hearted guardian," he couldn't bear
eyeslvas not good-looking and tough as he had imagined, nor to deal with them like some moralist. In yet another respect,he
did he look like a genius. lVhen Tokio first mer him, there in feared Yoshiko's being taken off home by her parents should
that cheap travel lodge in Kdjimachi SanbanchdRoad, in that they learn what was happening.
stuffy room hemmed in on three sides by solid walls, the first It was the following evening that Yoshiko came into Tokio's
thing that struck him rvas the distasteful,unpleasantattitude of study and, rvith quiet voice and bor.r'edhead, talked about her
one raised in the Christian faith, annoylngly smug and too hopes for the future. However much she reasonedwith Tanaka,
mature for his years. He spoke in the Kyoto accent, his com- he would not go back. And yet if her parents rvereinformed, she
plefon was fair, and he had a certain gentlenessabout him, but knew they rvould not give their consent and might even feel it
Tokio could not understand why Yoshiko had chosen someone better to fetch her back at once. Then again, Tanaka had taken
like him from among numerous young men. What he particularly such pains to come to Tokyo, and moreover their love wasn't
disliked about him was his formal attitude of trying to justify just common and vulgar and she could swear that there would
himself, producing all sorts of reasons for his misdeeds and be no impure act or indulgence between them. Literature was
shortcomings, without the least bit of simple and down-to-earth a difficult path to follow, and perhaps it was impossible for
frankness. But in fact, for all his anger Tokio did feel-not someonelike Tanaka to support a family by writing novels, but
immediately or spontaneously,but on seeing,in a corner of the anyway, if they were going to share the future together, then
room, the little traveling-case and the crumpled plain rvhite they wanted to rvalk along their chosen path together. She
yukata-a certain sympathy for this young man suffering and wanted Tokio to leave things as they were for a while, letting
anguishing for love, and he was reminded of his own past and them stay in Tokyo.
the dreams of youth. It was impossiblefor Tokio simply to refuse coldly this inevi-
Facing each other in that stuffy room, not even relaxing table request.He did have doubts about Yoshiko'schastityduring
enough to sit with crossedlegs, the two of them talked for at her stay at Saga, but on the other hand he also believed the
least an hour. Their talk finally finished without any real con- explanation, and felt it very possible that the young couple's
clusion. "WelI anyway, try and reconsider thingsr" were the relationship might still be pure. Considered in the light of his
final words with which Tokio took his leave and returned home. own youthful experiences,it was by no means easy for physical
70 THE QUILT 7I
love to be realized, even if there was spiritual love. And so, he of the home, but where'sthe meaning in that? There,s probably
said it would be all right to leave things as they were for . *liil., somemeaning for the wife, who existsfor the sake of the children,
provided they were not given to indulgence, and went on to but what about the husband? He has his wife taken from him
lecture her with great earnestnessand sincerity on spiritual love, by his children and his children taken from him by his wife,
physical love, the relationship between love and human life, and so how can he avoid being lonely?,' He stared at the lamp.
on what an educated modern woman should properly preserve. De Maupassant's "As Strong as Death,, lay open on the
-
The main points of his lecture were that the fact-thai people of desk.
old paid such heed to a woman's chastity was really, rathei than
being one of society'smoral sanctions,for the benefit of safeguard- Two or three days later, when Tokio came home from work
ing that woman's independence;that once a woman gu.ri h.r- at the usual hour and sat in front of the hibarhi, his wife said
self physically to a man her freedom was completely destroyed; quietly to him:
"He came
that modern lVestern women well understood such tlings and today, you know."
"Who?"
so never got into difficulties in their affairs with the other sex,
"You know
and that modern Japanese women most certainly had to do like- . . . upstairs-Yoshiko-san's young manr,, his wife
wise. He talked with particular earnesoressabout trre nerv type laughed.
of woman. "Really?"
'(!ss-21611nd
Yoshiko listened with head bowed. one o'clock today, someonecame to the porch
Tokio warmed to the occasion. asking if anyone was at home, and when I went to see who it
"lVell, just was, lvho should it be but a round-faced young student in a
how does he propose to live?,'
"He's splash-pattern coat and white-sriped hakana trousers. Well, I
come a little prepared,and he'll be all right for a month
or so, but . . .t' wondered, is this yet another student with a manuscript or
"f t wouldn't something, when he went and asked if yokoyama-san livedlhere.
be so bad if he had a good job or something . . ."
"Well, actually Strange, I thought, and asked him his name, and it was none
he was pinning all his hopes on you, Sensei,
and came up to Tokyo not knowing anyone, and so he,s greatly other than Tanaka. So that's him, is it, I thought. Horrible,
disheartened. . ." isn't he?-She could have had plenty of better students than
"Y:ll, just too hasty. That's what I thought when I that for a boyfriend. She's really peculiar, yoshiko-san. There's
!e was
met him the other day. There'll be problerrs, you know,', said no hope for her at all if this is anything to go by."
"So what
Tokio laughingly. happened?"
"But "I suppose
please, if there is anything you can do to help him . . . Yoshiko-san must have been pleased, but she
f'm very sorry to have to keep troubling you like this . . ." looked sort of embarrassed.When I took them iome tea she was
Yoshiko blushed as she sounded so helpless. sitting at her desk, and he was there too, facing her, and they
"Don't suddenly stopped talking and clammed right up. I thought it
worry-things will work oui somehow.,,
As soon as Yoshiko had gone Tokio's face adopted a troubled, a bit odd so I came straight dorvn again. . . . But, you know,
sullen expression. "fs it possible fsy rns-ms !-to help out in it really is strange the things young people get up to nowadays.
this love affair?" he asked himself. ,.young birds flock only In my day we women used to get really embarrissed if a man
with other young birds-the wings of old birds like me aren't just looked at us!"
"Times
beautiful enough to attract the young ones any -more.', The do change, though."
"Well, however
thought overwhelmed him, leaving him with an indescribable much times change, I got the idea she'sjust
loneliness."A wife and children-they call them the happiness loo modern. She's no better than some drop-out student. WeI,
72 THE QUILT 73
"Why?" Yoshiko'stone
to go by appearancesthat's how it seems,though I supposein was measured.
"Oh, no particular reason."
her heart she's not like that. But anyway, it really is quite ex-
"Now really, let's stop this,
traordinary." shall we ?" Yoshiko looked indig-
"Never mind all that! \Alhat happened next?" nant again.
"Yoshiko-san went out and bought some rice cakesand baked Tokio watched this playful bantering in silence. Naturally he
sweet potatoes-our maid Otsuru said she'd go for them, but was upset. Unhappiness filled his heart. Yoshiko shot a searching
Yoshiko-san said it was all right and went herself-and then glance at him, and immediately realized his unpleasant mood.
they made a right royal feast out of them. . . . Even Otsuru had She promptly changed her attitude.
"Sensei,Tanaka came today."
to laugh, you know. When she went up to offer them some hot
"So f hear."
water, there were the pair of them, stuffing themselves with
"He wanted to meet you to give you
thesesweetpotatoes.. . ." his thanla, but said he'd
Even Tokio had to laugh. come again. . . . He gave his regards. . . ."
"They were talking for quite some time, "Oh, really?"
His wife continued.
and very loudly too. It seemed to be some sort of discussion, Tokio suddenly stood up and went off into his study.
and Yoshiko-san was really holding her own in it."
"So when did he leave?" fu long as Yoshiko's lover was in Tokyo, Tokio was unable to
'Just a little while ago." rela-x, despite having her upstairs under his supervision. It was
"And Yoshiko-is she in?" absolutely impossibleto prevent the two of them meeting. And
"\[6-shg said he didn't know the way, so she went out to naturally neither could he stop them sending letters to each other,
seehim home." nor say anything about Yoshiko blatantly going off with "I'm
Tokio frowned. calling in at Tanaka's today so I'll be an hour or so late." More-
As they were having dinner Yoshiko came in through the over, he could not now prevent Tanaka from visiting her, how-
back door. She seemedto have been hurrying and was panting ever unhappy he might feel about it. Before he knerv it, he found
for breath. that the couple had firmly accepted him as that "kind-hearted
"How far did you go?" asked Tokio's wife. guardian" of their love.
"As far as Kagurazaka." With this Yoshiko turned to Tokio, He was constantly irritable. He had numerous manuscripts
"Welcome home," and hurried to write. He was pressedby the bookshops. He needed money.
gave him her usual greeting of
off upstairs. They thought she would come straight back down, Yet he just couldn't get himself into the right settled frame of
but in fact quite a while passed with no sign of her. Tokio's mind for getting down to writing. When he did force himself
wife called her several times, and she answered with a long, to try, he couldn't collect his thoughts. When he tried reading,
"O-kay," but still didn't come down. Otsuru finally he lost interest after a few pages. Every time he saw the warmth
drawn-out
went to fetch her and presently she did come down, but she of their love his heart would burn feverishly,'and he would drink,
ignored the dinner set out for her and lounged near the wall- and take his anger out on his innocent wife. He would find fault
support. with the vegetablesin the evening meal and kick the table away.
"What about your dinner?" asked Tokio's wife. Sometimes he would come home past midnight, drunk. Yoshiko
"I don't feel like anything just now-I'm quite full." was not a little worried about Tokio's violent and extraordinary
"I supposethat's becauseyou ate too many sweet potatoes!" "It's my fault because
behavior. I cause him so much trouble,"
"Oh, nolv really, what a terrible thing to say!" she retorted, she would say apologetically to his wife. And so she tried to
looking indignant. keep her correspondenceas much out of sight as possible; and
"Yoshiko-san really is a strange one." to make her visits seemlessfrequent she would, about every third
Tokio's wife laughed.
ta
THE QUILT 75
visit, take time off school and go on the sly. Tokio found out that lay on his desk, and lost himself in thought over its contents.
about this and became even more unhappy. The inn maid had brought the letter to him a short while before,
In the fields the autumn drew to a close and a cold wintry and the writing was Yoshiko's.
wind started up. The leaves of the gnkgo trees in the wood Sensei,
behind the house turned yellow and added a beautiful colora- I reall2 must apologi.<e.I shall certain$t neaerforget your kindness
tion to the evening sky. The fallen leaves, curled and crackly, and sympath1as long as I liae, and eaennow, whenI think of it, tears
tumbled along the hedge-lined lanes. The cries of the shrike cometo m! eles.
filled the air. It was about this time that the young couple's It was typical of m-yparents to act like that. Despiteyour writing to
love grew just too open for comfort. fu supervisor, Tokio could themas1ou did, theL'retoo old-fashioned and stubbornto understand our
not look upon such a state of affairs, and persuaded Yoshiko to and so thel wouldn't giue their consent no matterhow muchI
feelings,
report everything to her parents back home. He himself also begged then. I nied uhm I readmy motlur's lettcr,but I dothinkit would
sent a long letter to her father about the love affair. Even in this benieeif theywouldtry to understand ryt feelingsa little, too.I nowfully
case Tokio tried to win Yoshiko's gratitude. He deceived him- reali4 how painful louecan be. Sensei,I haoemadeu! ryt mind. Just
self and, telling himself he was a tragic sacrifice, he became that as it sgts in the Bible that a womanleauesfur parentsto follow her
"kind-hearted guardian" of their love.
husband,I think I shallfollow Tanaka.
A number of letters arrived from the hills of Bitchfi. He has still not beenable tofnd meansof support, hasalreadyused
up the monel he saued,and saw the2ear out in the mostwrehhedof
circumstances. f can't bear anlt longer to seehim in such a state. Eaen
withoutsupportfromhome,we sltall try our bestto makea life together.
7 I'm really sorryfor hauing caused 2ou so muchtrouble. As superaisor
it's understandable that 1ou're worried. But despiteTour going to tlu
January the next year found Tokio on a geography trip to the troubleof writing to themto explain things on our behalf m1parentsjust
banla of the Tone River, the boundary between the K6zuke got angry and reftuedto listm to us, which is mostluartlessof them,and
and Musashi regions. He had been there since the end of the eaeni.f they disown me tlure's nothing ue can do about it. They jttst go
previous year and was therefore anxious about his household on and on about dcpraoity uithout adually knowing wlwt's happening,
affairs, especially Yoshiko. However, he could do nothing to but do tlqt supposeour looe is really that insircere?And then they talk
avoid the duties of his work. On the second of January he had offamiQ pedigra, butyu will n"odoubtforgioeme,Smsei,for not being
briefly returned to Tokyo, to find his secondson suffering teething the old-fashionedsortof womanwho loaesin arcordarceutith herparents'
troubles and his wife and Yoshiko busy nuning him. According conaenience.
to his wife, Yoshiko seemedto have become even more indulgent Sensei,I haaemadeup nry mind. Testnday,therewas an adaertisement
in her affair. Apparently, on New Year's Eve Tanaka had, with
for girl traineesat UenoLibrary, and I think I'll try applykg. If we
no means of support, been unable to return to his lodgings and bothwork our ltardest,I don't npposewe'll starue.I'm son2for all the
had spent the night on a train. His wife had also come to a vague troubleI'ue causedto bothyouandlour wife, but,it's because I'm inltour
exchangeof words with Yoshiko over the two of them seeing too home.Please,Sensei,forgiue ryt decision.
much of each other. When he learned of these and various other
foshiko
happenings, Tokio realized what a fine passthings had come to. So the power of love had plunged them into the depths of in-
He stayed one night and then went back to the Tone River. dulgence after all. Tokio felt he had to do something about it.
It was now the night of the fifth. In the wide, open sky the He considered his attitude as "kind-hearted guardian," a role
moon was ringed with a halo, and its light sparkled on the center he had assumed in order to win Yoshiko's favor. He thought
of the river like broken fragments of gold. Tokio opened a letter about the letter he had sent to her father in Bitchu, in which he
/o
THE QUILT 77

had askedfor her parents' complete support for the young couple peal forth again. Thanks to Yoshiko he had been fiiled with
and for consent to their relationship. He knew they would never a new zest for life, been resurrected. And yet now he had to
give that consent. In fact, he had hoped rather that they would resume that former existence, banal, bleak, and lonely. . . . He
completely oppose the relationship. And sure enough, they felt it was unfair, he felt jealous, and hot, burning tears rolled
completely opposed it. Her father had even written back that down his cheeks.
unless Yoshiko obeyed her parents they would disown her. The He thought seriously about Yoshiko's love, about her future
two lovers had received due reward for their love. Tokio had Iife. He thought, in the light of his own experience, about the
argued painstakingly on Yoshiko's behalf, writing how her love boredom, the tedium, the callousnessthat would come into the
had no impure intentions, and he had askedfor one of her Parents young couple's life after they had lived together for a while. He
to come without fail to Tokyo to sort the problem out. But they thought about the pitiable situation of a woman once she had
had not come, sayrng that it was uselessto go to Tokyo since given her body to a man. His heart was now fi"lled with world-
Tokio, as her supervisor,felt the way he did, whereasthey them- weariness, lveariness of that dark power lurking in the hidden
selves could definitely not bring themselves to give their ap- reachesof nature.
proval. He concluded that a serious step was called for. He felt that
Tokio now consideredYoshiko's letter. up to now his own behavior had been very unnatural and not
The two lovers' situation now called for immediate action. serious enough. That same evening he wrote with great convic-
He took sufficient warning from the bold words with which tion to Yoshiko's parents back in the hills of Bitchfi. He enclosed
Yoshiko had expressedher wish to live with Tanaka, away from Yoshiko's letter and gave a detailed account of the young cou-
his supervision. Indeed, perhaps they had already carried the ple's latest situation. Finally he added:
"I believe the time has now come for you, as her father, for
situation a stage further. Yet he was also so annoyed at how
they had reduced all his good efforts on their behalf to nothing me, as her teacher, and for the couple themselvesto meet together
through this ungrateful and inconsiderate decision that he felt to discussthis problem properly. You have your point of view
like washing his hands of the whole business. as her father, Yoshiko has her freedom as herself, and I too have
To calm his agitated mind he went for a qralk along the em- my opinion as her teacher, and while I appreciate that you are
bankment of the river, which was bathed in a misty moonlight. e.xtremely busy, I would be obliged if you rvould without fail
Although it was a winter night, with the moon ringed by a halo, come to Tokyo. I am full of expectation."
it was quite warm, and a peaceful light shone quiedy from the Finishing the letter, he put it in an envelope, addressed it
"Yokoyama Heiz6, Niimimachi, Bitchir" put it to on€ side, and
windows of the houses below the embankment. A thick mist
hung upstream, broken occasionally by the gentle sound of a stared fixedly at it. This letter is the hand of fate, he thought.
passingboat. Downstream someonewas calling for passageacross Making up his mind, he called for the maid and handed it to her.
the river. The sound of a cart crossing on the ferry filled the He imagined the letter being taken to the hills of Bitchtr a
air for a while aad then all was silent again. Tokio thought over day or two later. The postman would deliver it to a large white-
various things as he walked along the embankment. It was the walled building in the middle of that little hill-encircled country
lonelinessof his own home that upset him so, rather thaLYosl4-. town, and some fellow at the counter would take it through to
- a life thai a man in his mid- the rear. The tall, whiskered gentleman would read it. . . . The
-.-e"--l- ?'i
thirties shoulcl-exp.€Uather io enjoy, his unhealthy- thqughts force of destiny pressedever closer.
--aboirt
.-.-";-1-1-:,.r----
his jgb,-U-s-ss.xudft,lggud*. . . . He felt terribly depressed
byiuih thitgt. Yoshiko had been the flower and the substance
of his banal existence. Her beautiful power had made flowers
bloom again in the wiiderness of his heart, had made rusty bells
78
THE qUrLT 79
"Really, it'll
be all right, sojust face up to him and speak your
mind. Don't worry."

B Finally Yoshiko confronted her father. When she saw his

familiar face, with a hint of gentlenesssomewhere beneath its
heavy whiskers and outward dignity, she could not hold back
Tokio returned to Tokyo on the tenth.
her tears. He was a stubborn, old-fashioned father, a father who
The following day a reply came from Bitcht stating that
didn't understand the feelings of young people, but nevertheless
Yoshiko's father would leave for Tokyo in a few dap' time.
he was a gentle father. Her mother was attentive in all things
It seemed that both Yoshiko and Tanaka were if anything
and often took a sympathetic interest in her, but somehow
now hoping for this, and they showed no particular sign of
Yoshiko still preferred her father. She believed that even he
surprise when informed.
would be moved when she told him of her desperatesituation,
It was around eleven on the morning of the sixteenth that
when she told him in tears how sincereher love was.
her father called at Tokio's house in Ushigome, having fint "Well, Yoshi,
it's been quite a time. . . . How have you
found, on arrival, accommodation in Kydbashi. It was a Sunday
been?"
and Tokio was at home. Her father wore a frock coat and bowler "Father
. . ." Yoshiko could say no more.
hat, and seemedworn out after his long journey. 'Just now,
on the lvay here . . ."-hs1 father was addressing
That day Yoshiko had gone to the doctor's. She had caught
Tokio, who was sitting there beside 1lsg1-('f think it was be-
a cold a few days before, and had a slight fever. She complained
tween Sano and Gotenba, anyway, the train broke dolvn and
of a headache.Presently she came in through the back door,
we had to wait two hours. The engine exploded."
looking unconcerned,and Tokio's wife hurried to speakto her: "oh?"
"Yoshiko-san,
Yoshiko-san! Something terribly important- "lVe were
going at full speed, when there was this dreadful
your father's come!"
"Father?" noise and then the train started going backwards,on an incline.
What on earth's going on? I rvondered.Well, the engine had
Yoshiko was, not unnaturally, a little taken aback.
e-rploded, and two firemen were killed outright. . . ."
She went straight upstairs but didn't come down again. "It must have
been dangerous."
They were asking for Yoshiko in the living room, so Tokio's "We had to
wait a good two hours for a locomotive to be
wife shouted up to her, but got no reply. When she went up
brought out from Numazu and fixed on, so I had time to think
to find out what was going on, she found Yoshiko slumped over
about thirgr. . . . If anything had happened to me on the way
her desk-
"Yoshiko-san." up to Tokyo because of this affair, then, Yoshi," (he turned
to his daughter) "then you'd have had a hard job justifying
There was no reply.
yourself to the rest of the family!'
She went over to her side and spoke again. Yoshiko raised her
Yoshiko hung her head in silence.
nervous, ill-looking face. "It was
"They're dangerous, that, but it's fortunate that you weren't
asking for you downstairs, you know." injured in any way," put in Tokio.
"But how
can I possiblymeet Father?" "Well, yes."
She was cryrng.
"Well now, isn't Her father and Tokio talked for a while about the engine
it a long time since you last saw him? Really, explosion. Suddenly, Yoshiko spoke:
you must meet him. Theie's nothing to worry about-every- "Father,
is everyone all right back home ?"
thing'li be all right." "Yes,
ttBut everyone's in good health."
. . .tt "And
Mother. . .?"
80 THE QUILT 8I
"She's fine. I've investigate his lineage. Then again, the person himself is mosr
been busy recently and did ask your mother
to come instead, but then I thought it'd be better if I came after important. From what you've seenof him, you say he has ability,
all." but..."
"And my brother? How's "Well no, not
he?" exactly that . . ."
"Yes, he's all right, too. "Then, as
Seems to have settled down a bit a person,just what sort of . . . ?"
"I understand
lately." that your wife knows that better than f do.,,
"What? She doesn't
As they talked about one thing or another, lunch was served. seem to know him all that well; she only
Yoshiko went back to her room. After lunch, during the tea, met him once or twice at Suma Sunday School. Anyway, in
Tokio continued with the issue in question: Kobe they do say that he has a certain amount of ability, and
"So there's no way Yoshi has probably known him since her time at the Girls'
you'll give your consent,then?"
"Whether I Academy. They also say that when they get him to preach and
consentor not is not the problem. At the moment,
even if I did temporarily agree to the two of them trying to to lead prayer he does things even better than adule, but . . ."
make a go of things together, he's only twenty-two, and a third- Ah, no wonder he talks so formally, as if he were delivering
year student at Ddshisha. . ." a public address,and usesthose horrible upturned eyes-it's the
"That's true, but after you've expressionhe uses at prayer, thought Tokio. He was disturbed
met him, perhaps then some
promise for the future . . ." to think that this horrible expressioncould send a young woman
"No, I can't make any promises. into confusion.
I haven't met him so of
"Well anyway,
course I don't know for sure, but if he's the sort of man who what are we finally going to do? Are you going
waylays a girl student on her way back to Tokyo and gets her to take Yoshiko-san back with you ?"
"I supposeif that's how it's got
to dilly-dally with him, and then one morning just ups and to be. . . . If possibleI would
abandons his long-standing benefactor from the Kobe Church, like to avoid taking her back, but . . . It's not tlle least bit
then I don't think there's anything to be discussed.In the letter pleasant when you suddenly bring your daughter back to a
Yoshi just sent to her mother she asked us to appreciate how country town. My wife and I are involved in various charitable
badly the fellow was suffering, and to provide enough money worls back home and we hold various honorary positions, and
for him to attend Waseda University, even if it meant reducing if this sort of affair got out . . . well, we'd be in a lot of bother.
her own allowance-I just wonder if Yoshi hasn't been tricked So I would like if possible, as you say, to send the boy back to
as part of some such scheme?" Kyoto, and for my daughter to stay here under your care for
"I wouldn't a year or two, but . . ."
say so, but . . ."
"Well, it's just a "That would
bit suspicious. No sooner has he made all be best, I agree," said Tokio.
thesepromisesto Yoshiko than he suddenly grvesup religion and They talked about the couple's relationship. Tokio recounted
takes a fancy to literature-that's a bit strange. And then he the circumstancesof the Saga incident, and the course of events
comes following her, and despite your advice stays on here in afterwards, and said that their love was probably a purely spiri-
Tokyo even though he's struggling to find mearu of support. tual one, with no impure relationship involved. Her father
There's something behind all this, I reckon." listened, and nodded his head, but added, "Well, surely we
"It could just simply must also consider that there is that other type of relationship
be the infatuation of love, and so it is
possible to interpret things in a good sense,too." too ?"
"Well anywa)r, Yoshiko's father was now filled with remorseover his daughter.
be that as it may, whether I grve my consent
or not is not the problem. A promise of marriage is no small He remembered how they had sent her, out of country folks'
matter-you have to investigate the person's social standing, vanity, to such a sophisticated school as the Kobe Girls' Acade-
consider the balance with your own standing, and you have to my, how they had obliged her to lead a dormitory life there, how
82 THE qUrLT 83
they had let her go to Tokyo, as she had wished, to learn about for her. If you can't go back to Kyoto, then go back to your
novels, and how they had, because of her pronenessto illness, home in the country. Even if as you say, you won't be able to
not been very strict with her and had let her do as she pleased. accomplish your aims if you go back, I still say that's best. That's
An hour later Tanaka entered the room, having been specially to say, even if those aims have to be sacrificed too, then that
sent for. Yoshiko was there too, listening to the conversationwith can't be helped."
bowed head. From the outset her father didn't take to Tanaka. Tanaka looked at the floor and said nothing. He didn't seem
The figure before his eyes, this student figure with white-striped prepared to agreejust like that.
hakamatrousers and dark blue, splash-pattern coat, fi"lled him Tokio had been listening quietly, but since Tanaka was being
with feelings of contempt and hatred. His feeling of hatred to- so stubborn he suddenly cut in:
wards this man who had taken away his property was very "I've been listening.
Don't you understand what Yokoyama-
similar to Tokio's feeling earlier when he had met him in his san has been saying? He's not saying anything about your mis-
lodgings. deeds, nor about your impudence, neither is he saying that if
Tanaka very properly folded the creasesof his hakamaand sat you're still bound to each other in the future, he will necessarily
stiffiy, staring at the mat a few feet in front of him. He showed, refuse his consent. You're still young, and Yoshiko-san too is
rather than compliance, an attitude of defiance. He seemed right in the middle of her studies, so the two of you should leave
somehowjust a bit too stifl as though he had a certain right to this affair in abeyancefor a while and seewhat the future brings
act freely with Yoshiko. -this is what he's saying. Don't you understand? At the present
The conversation was serious and intense. Yoshiko's father moment, there's no way the two of you can be left together.
didn't go so far as to condemn Tanaka's impudence openly, but One of you will have to leave Tokyo, and since you came here
would occasionally put a bitter sarcasm into his words. Tokio after Yoshiko it's only right that that person be you."
"I quite understandr"
also spoke at first, but eventually Yoshiko's father and Tanaka answered Tanaka. "I'm entirely to
took over. Her father was a member of the prefectural council, blame, so I must be the one to leave. Sensei,you've just said that
so his manner of speechwas clever and convincing. Even Tanaka, it doesn't necessarilymean that our love won't be given approval,
accustomedas he was to public speaking, was occasionallyforced but I still can't find such satisfaction in what Yokoyama-sama
into silence. The problem of consent or otherwise was raised, has been saying."
but dismissedas a subject not in need of consideration for the "What do you mean?" asked
Tokio.
moment, and the immediate question of Tanaka's return to "I supposeyou mean it's
unsatisfying not to receive a definite
Kyoto was taken up instead. promise," cut in Yoshiko'sfather, "but I've just e-xplainedabout
For the two lovers, and for Tanaka in particular, this separa- that. At the present moment I can neither consent nor refuse.
tion seemed a bitter matter. He asserted strongly that it was You're still in the middle of your studies and can't be independ-
impossiblefor him to return for severalreasorui:he was no longer ent, so I just can't have any confidence in what you say about
qualified for religion, he had neither house nor home to return the two of you making your way in the world together. There-
to, and now, after enduring abject circumstances for the last fore I think it's best for both of you to study for a few years. If
few months, he was at last beginning to see some hope for the you're serious,then you must understandwhat I've been saying.
future here in Tokyo, and couldn't bring himself to give up I supposeyou're also dissatisfiedbecauseyou think that I'm just
now. fooling you for now and that I intend to marry off Yoshi to
Yoshiko's father spoke with earnest penuasiveness. someone else. However, I swear before God-and I say it also
"You say that you
can't go back to Kyoto any more, and I'm before Sensei here-that I wiil not marry off Yoshi for three
sure that's true. But things are :ui they are. If you love a girl, years. As Jacob believed, sinners can but await that final judg-
then I don't supposeit's asking too much to sacrifice yourself ment, and therefore I can't go so far as to promise Yoshi to
84 THE QUILT 85
you-I can't agree at present, because tr don't believe that at a successof things, then it doesn't matter about me being lost
present this affair accords with the Will of God. We can't tell in oblivion in the country-I'll go back."
at the moment whether, in three years from now, it will then The company sank into silence again.
accord with his Will or not, but if you're truly sincereand honest Presentiy Tokio spoke, in a different tone.
in your heart, then I'm sure that it will." "Anyway, just why is it that you can't go back to Kyoto?
"You see how understanding Yokoyama-san is?" Tokio fol-
"He'Il wait three years for your sake. That really is Wouldn't it be all right if you were just to explain everything
lowed up. to your benefactor in Kobe, apologize for your indiscretion, and
the greatest favor you could wish for, to be told you'll be given then go back to D6shisha? Just because Yoshiko-san hopes to
three years, enough to prove your dependability. Though no make a go of literature, it doesn't mean that you have to as well-
one is under any obligation to discuss anything seriously with lyVhat aLout you becoming a religious teacher, a theologian,
someonewho's seducedhis daughter, and you would've had no or a minister?"
cause for complaint in the least if he'd taken Yoshiko straight "I can no longer enter the service of the church. I'm just not
back home without further ado, Yokoyama-san has said that if that special sori of Person who can preach to people "-' But
you wait three years, until your sincerity becomesclear, then he what,s particularly upsetting is that after three montls of hard-
will not marry Yoshiko to anyone else. Those are really kind ship I've finally managed to oPen up a path for the future, thanls
words to you, kinder even than if he actually gave his consent- to th. kind help of a friend, so I just couldn't bear to go back to
Don't you understand this?" the nothingness of the countryside."
Tanaka looked down at the floor and, just when everyone The three talked on again. Finally the conversation came to
expected him to put on a frown, tears started to roll down his a vague sort of end. Tanaka left, saylng he would talk-thingp
cheeks. o',r., *ith his friend that evening and come back with a definite
The company fell silent, as if cold water had been throrvn over answer, either the nort day or the day after. It was now four
them. o'clock, the winter's day was drawing to a close, and a patch of
Tanaka wiped away his flood of tears with his hand. Tokio light that had, up till then, lit up the corner of the room, now
thought it the right moment to speak: faded quickly away.
"Well, please give your answer."
"I don't care what happens to me! Let me be swallowedup left in the room'
Just Tokio and Yoshiko's father were
in the countryside,then, I don't care!" r'H"', a wishy-washy sort of fellow." Her father made the
He wiped his tears away again. remark almost casuallY.
"Now that won't do-it's meaninglessif you say it so antago- "He's formal, and never gets to the point. It'd be better if he
nistically. The whole point of this meeting is for everyone to say opened up a bit more and spoke franklY - . ."
what they really feel and to bring about a settlement satisfactory "Yes, but somehow that sort of thing just doesn't go down
to all. If you find it so absolutely unpleasant to go back to the with Chflgoku people-they've got very little caliber, and try
country, then there's nothing else for it but to send Yoshiko to worm their way around you. People from this KantS area
back," said Tokio.
"Isn't it possiblefor the two of us to be together in Tokyo?" and up north in Tdhoku are completely different in this resPect.
"Impossible! Impossible from the point of view of supervision! Bad ii bad and good is good-they say what's really in their
mind, which is how it should be. It just won't do, resorting to
Impossible from the point of view of the future of both of you!" petty little tricls like that weeping."
"In that caseI don't care if I'm swallowed up in the country." -
"i/es, he certainly doesseem to be a bit like that, doesn't he?"
"No, I'll be the one that goesback!" Yoshiko'svoice trembled "You just watch-tomorrow he's bound to find some reason
with tears. "I'm a woman. . . a woman. If vou alone make why he can't agree, and why he can't go back to Kyoto"'
86 THE qUrLT 87
Suddenly Tokio was seized with suspicion about the couple's
relationship, a suspicion aroused by Tanaka's impassioned per-
sistenceand by that attitude of his as though he had a right to
make Yoshiko his own property.
9
"So what sort Yoshiko's father went back to his inn after staying for dinner.
ofviews do you have about a physical relation-
ship betweenthem?" he asked her father. That night, Tokio's distress was extreme. The ihought that
"Well, I think we probably he had been deceived made his anger boil. He *u, fiirior* to
have to assume that there rs a
physical relationship." think how he had done his serious test to help their love, yet
"At this stage I do all the while having Yoshiko taken from him bidy and soui by
think we should make sure about this.
Shouldn't we get Yoshiko-san to tell us exactly what happened some student. If things had reached that stage-if she had given
at Saga? She saysthey fell in love only after Saga, so there should up her body to Tanaka-then there was no need for him to
be letters to prove this." respect her chastity as a virgin. It would be in order for him,
"Well, I don't really too, to make a bold move and satisfy his sexual desire. Such
think we need go quite that far . . ."
Even though he believed there was a physical relationship, her thoughts led him to look upon Yoshiko, whom he had formerly
father seemed to fear this turning out to be a definite fact. worshiped as heavenly, as some sort of prostitute, whose beau_
Unfortunately, at that moment Yoshiko came into the room tiful attitude and expressions,let alone her body, were nothing
with sometea. b.ut contemptible. In such terrible torment, he irardly slept at
fu she was leaving Tokio asked her to show them the old all that night. All sorts of feelings passed through hir heuti lik"
letters she no doubt had from around that time, as thesewould dark clouds. Placing his hands on that troubled heart, Tokio
prove her purity. thought things over. Perhaps he should . . . Well, for a start it
Yoshiko suddenly blushed. From her expressionand attitude was a fact that she was now soiled, having given her body to
she was clearly greatly embarrassed. a man. Should he simply send Tanaka back to Kyoto, and then
"I've just exploit her weaknessto make her his own ? This prompted all
burned all those old letters," she said quietly.
"Burned them?" sorts of thoughts. what if he were to creep silently upstain while
"Yes." She hung Yoshiko was asleep there, and then pour out his love for her?
her head.
"Burned them? I Perhaps she would hold herself very prim and proper andlecture
can't believe that!"
Yoshiko's face grew even redder. Tokio couldn't stop himself him. Perhaps she would call out for help. And yet, perhaps she
from getting furious. The facts struck him with a terrible force. would understand his pressing passion and sacrifici herserf to
He stood up and went to the toilet. He was angry and upset, him. And if she did sacrifice herself to him, what then the fol-
his mind in a daze. He was staggeredby the thought that he had lowing morning? Of course,in the bright light of day they would
been deceived. be unable to face each other. She would stay in bed, ignoring
When he came out of the toilet he found Yoshiko standing breakfast. He called to mind a short story of de Maupassant's-,
"The
there outside the sliding-door, looking nervous. Father." He remembered with particular poignancy the
"Sensei, bit about the girl grving her body to the man and thin sobbing
really, I've burned them."
"And her heart out afterwards. At such thoughts, however, a force
nolv tell me a lie, why don't you!" snapped Tokio.
Violently slamming shut the sliding-door, he went back into the arose within him to oppose this dark imagining, and a sharp
room. conflict followed. Torment followed torment, anguish followed
anguish, and he tossed and turned endlessly, hearing the clock
strike two, then tfuee.
Undoubtedly Yoshiko was in great distresstoo. She looked iil
8B THE QUILT 89
when she got up the next morning. She hardly touched her can't resteas1.I'ae betnworriedabout thisall day long. Please,Sensei,
breaHast. She seemed to be trying to avoid meeting Tokio's haaepily on this poor girl. I haoeno oneto turn to butyou.
eyes. Her distress appeared to be not so much that her secret foshiko
was known as that she realized she had done wrong in trying Tokio felt as if he were about to be swallowed by the earth
to hide things. That afternoon she said she'd just like to go at his feet. He stood up, letter in hand. His mind was too upset
out for a while, but Tokio, who had not gone to work, wouldn't to interpret Yoshiko's reason for daring to make this confession
allow it. Thus the whole day passed. No answer came from -her attitude of confessingeverything and then asking for help.
Tanaka. He climbed noisily up the stairs, and sat solemnly beside the deik
Yoshiko ate neither lunch nor dinner, saying she didn't feel over which Yoshiko was still bent.
"Well, with things
like eating. A gloomy atmosphere filled the house. Tokio's wife as they are now, I can no longer do any-
lvas perplexed at her husband's out-of-sorts mood and Yoshiko's thirg. I'll give this letter back to you, and I promise I won't
depression.After all, the previous day's talk seemedto have gone say anything about it to anyone. At least, your having trusted
so smoothly. . . . She took Yoshiko some food upstairs, thinking me as your teacher is nothing to be ashamed of as a new Meiji
she must be terribly hungry as she'd eaten so little. Tokio was woman. But with thirgp as they are now, it's only right for you
spending the miserable twilight hours drinking sakd, a sour look to go back home. Let's go straight away this evening to your
on his face. Presently his wife came down. Tokio asked her what father and tell him everything, so that you can return home as
Yoshiko had been doing, and it turned out she had been sitting soon as possible-that's best."
there in the dark at her desk, bent over a letter she had started And so, after something to eat, they got ready and left the
to write. Letter? A letter to whom? Tokio grew exasperated. house.Yoshiko was no doubt full of various complaints and gnev-
He dashed noisily off upstairs, intending to warn her against ances, as well as sadness,but she could not disobey Tokio's
rwiting such a letter. solemn command. They got on the streetcar at Ichigaya. They
"Sensei, please,for Heaven's sake. . ." sat next to each other, but didn't exchangea single word. Getting
She soundedas if she were praying as she spoke. offat Yamashitamon,they went to the inn at Ky6bashi, where,
She was still bent over her desk. fortunately, Yoshiko's father was in his room. They told him
"Sensei, for Heaven's sake, please,just wait a little longer. everything. He didn't get particularly angry. It seemed that he
I'm writing everything down in this letter for you." just wanted, as much as possible,to avoid accompanying Yoshiko
Tokio went back downstairs. Presently, at his wife's directions, back home, but there was nothing else for it. Yoshiko's only
the maid went upstain to light the lamp, and when she came emotion appeared to be one merely of being fed up with the irony
down she was carrying a letter, which she gave to Tokio. of fate. Tokio askedif it were not possiblefor him to continue to
He read it eagerly: look after her, if her parents decided to abandon her, but her
Sensei, father wouldn't allow this as things stood, though he wasn't sure
I am a fallen student.I haaeusedlour kindnessand dtceiuedyu. I what might happen if Yoshiko herself were to abandon her
think my misdeedis so tenible I can neaerbeforgiuen howeaermuchI parents. Yoshiko herself didn't seem resolved to refuse to return
apologiae.Sensei, pleasehaaepitlt on meas a weakbeing.I haaefailedto home to the point of forsaking her parents, and so Tokio gave
dischargem7 dutiu as a new Meiji-era u)oman,sach asyou taught me her over to her father's care and went back home.
about.After all, I am an old-fashionedwomanwithout thecourageto put
the newphitosophyinto action.I had talkedthingsoaerwith Tanakaand
we'd decided that at all costswe wouldnot reuealthis onething. What's
donewas done,but wepledgedto rnaintaina pure loaein thefuture. But
thenwhm I think that all yur troublesare dueto m7 shortcomings I just
90 THE QUILT 9I

Okyo, and Y6sai and the scrolls of San'y6, Chikuden, Kaioku,

and Sazan, and he had himself a considerable collection of their
10 masterpieces.The conversation turned naturally in that direc-
tion, and for a while the room was filled with banal talk of art.
The following morning Tanaka called on Tokio. I]naware of Tanaka arrived, saying he wanted to speak to Tokio. They
what had ,,o* b..tt settled, he attempted to explain in de' met in the eight-mat room, the partition to the six-mat room
tail how his own circumstances were not conducive to his being closed. Yoshiko's father was in that six-mat room. Yoshiko
returning home-that is, lovers who had given body and sorrl herself was in her room upstairs.
"Is her father going back home, then?"
to each other could just not bear to be parted, Tokio felt to be
"It looks like it, yes."
his meaning.
"With Yoshi-san?"
A triumphant look spread over Tokio's face'
"Well, the problem has now been solved. Yoshiko told me t'Looks that way."
"Could you please possibly tell me what time they'll be
everything. I know now how the pair o! you had been deceiving
tpure' love, wasn't it!?tt leaving?"
me. It was some
"Well, in the presentsituation, I don't think I can."
Tanaka's expressionsuddenly changed. Shame, erasperation,
"fn that case, do you think I could be allowed to see Yoshi-
and a terrible leetng of despair filled his heart. He didn't know
what to saY. san,just for a moment?"
"There's nothing that can be done about it nolv," Tokio "No, I really don't think so."
..I can have nothing more to do with this affair. In "lVell, where is her father staying, then? I'd just like to know
continued.
fact, I'm now fed up with it- I've given Yoshiko back over to her that."
"I don't know whether I should really even tell you that."
father's supervision."
Tanaka iat in silence. His illJooking face could clearly be seen Tanaka could make no headway. After sitting for a while in
to twitch nervously. Suddenly, he took his leave with a bow, as silence, he took his leave with a bow.
though he could no longer bear being there in such a situation. Presently lunch was brought into the eight-mat room. fu this
wzrs a farewell, Tokio's wife had carefully prepared something
Yoshiko and her father came at about ten that morning. They a little special. Tokio was also hoping to have the three of them
were going home tlrat same evening on the six o'clock Kobe eat together as a sort of farewell gathering. Yoshiko, however,
.*pr.ri ani would take only her penonal effects, with most of said she didn't want to eat. Tokio's wife pleaded with her, but
the l.tgg"ge being sent on afterwards' Yoshiko went uP to her she wouldn't come down. Tokio himself went upstairs.
room to sort out her luggage. The room was dark, with just one window open to the east.
Tokio was upset, but neverthelessmore cheerful than before. Books and magazines and clothes and waist-sashesand bottles
He felt indescribably miserable at the thought that he could no and traveling-cases and trunls were all over the floor, leaving
ionger look upon her beautiful expressions'soon to be separated hardly anywhere to walk, and a strong smell of dust struck the
froir him by more than five hundred miles of hills and rivers, nostrils. In the middle of all this Yoshiko was sorting out her
but on the other hand it was at least pleasing to have taken luggage, tears in her eyes.What misery and gloom compared with
her from his rival in love and delivered her to her father. And that time three years ago when she had come uP to Tokyo with
so it was in quite a cheerful manner that Tokio chatted with her a heart full of youtMul hope. It was terribly sad to think that
father. The Ltter was, as is often the case with country gentle' her fate was to return to the country without having produced
men, very fond of art, Particulariy of the paintings of Sessht' a single memorable work.
92 THE QUILT 93
"There's some lunch specially educationalists' constant talk of the female problem. He thought
prepared for you, so how about
trylng to eat? It'll be quite some time before we get the chance about her father's unhappiness,about Yoshiko's tears, about his
to eat together again." own bleak life. There were passers-bywho looked meaningfully
"$g16gi-" at this passing spectacleof a flower-like girl student and her pile
Yoshiko burst into rears. of baggage, protected by her father and another middle-aged
Tokio was moved too. Had he fully discharged his duty as her man.
teacher? He searched his heart scrupulously. He too was mis- They arrived at the inn in Kydbashi, gathered the baggage
erable enough to want to cry. Here in a dark room among a together, and paid the bill. It was in this same inn that Yoshiko
jumble of baggage and books, his beloved in tears over having and her father had stayed three years before, lvhen they had
to part for home . . . and he had no words of comfort to offer. first come up to Tokyo, and Tokio had visited them there. They
At three in the afternoon three carriages arrived. The drivers were, all three of them, filled with much emotion as they com-
carried the traveling-casesand the Chinese trunk and the bags pared that time with the present. Yet they all kept their feelings
from the porch, where they had been placed, and loaded them to themselves.
into the carriages. Yoshiko wore a purple-brown coat, with a At five o'clock they went to Shinbashi Station and entered the
white ribbon in her hair, and her eyeswere swollen with crFng. second-classwaiting room.
She took firm hold of the hand of Tokio's wife, who had come Confusion upon confusion, crowds upon crowds. The minds
out to see them off. of the travelers and those who had come to see them off were
"Well, goodbye then . filled with restlessconfusion, and the noise reverberating around
. . I'll be back again, I'Il definitely be
back. . . I just have to come back. . ." the room echoed in their hearts. The station was enveloped in
"Yes, please,certainly, you must come back, say in a year or a whirhvind of sadness,of joy, of curiosity. At every moment
so.tt
groups of people would arrive, and in particular there seemed
Tokio's wife firmly returned the handshake. Tears filled her to be a lot of passengersfor the six o'clock Kobe express.The
eyes. lVith a woman's weakness,her heart was fi"lled with sym- second-classwaiting room soon became a sceneof utter chaos.
pathy. Tokio bought two packagesof sandrvichesfrom the stall upstairs
The carriages set off through the residential suburb of Ushi- and handed them to Yoshiko. He bought their tickets and a
gome, somewhat chilly in the winter's day, with Yoshiko's father platlorm ticket for himself. He got a check for their luggage.
in the fint one, then Yoshiko, then finally Tokio. Tokio's wife Now all they had to do was wait.
and the maid stayed and watched the carriages disappear. The All three were wondering if Tanaka might not be in the crowd.
neighbor's wife was behind them watching too, wondering what However, they couldn't see him.
this sudden departure could be. And behind her, at a corner of A beli rang. The crorvd surged towards the ticket-barrier.
the lane, stood a man wearing a brown hat. Yoshiko looked back Everyone was eager to board at once, everyone impatient, and
several times. the confusion was considerable.The three of them just managed
fu the carriagesturned from K6jimachi Road towards Hibiya, to get through and found themselvesout on the spacious plat-
Tokio feil to thinking about present-day girl students. There was form. Yoshiko and her father got into the nearest second-class
Yoshiko in the carriage in front of his, with her high, right-up- compaftment.
with-the-fashion hairstyle, her white ribbon and her rather Other passengersflooded in after them. There wzuia merchant,
slouched figure, being taken back home with the baggage by prepared to sleep through the long trip. Ar army captain, prob-
her father, under such circumstances-there were probably lots ably returning to Kure. A group of women, gossiping away in
broad Osaka dialect. Yoshiko's father spread a white blanket
of other girl studentsin similar positions. Even the strong-willed
Yoshiko, then, had met this fate. There was good reason for the on the seat, placed his little bag beside it, and sat down with
 94
THE QUILT 95
Yoshiko. The electric light in the carriage made yoshiko's white
pressedhim to hear his wife shouting at the
face stand out like an engraving. Her father came to the window, children all the
ume.
repeatedly expressedhis thanla to Tokio for all his kindness.and
Life fell into the old rut of three years before.
askedhim to attend to those things still remaining. Tokio stood
Five days later a retter arrived from yoshiko.
there nert to the window, in his outfit of brown iritUv hat and It was not in
her usual relaxed, conversational style, but stiff
triple-crested, silk haoi coat. and formal:
The time for the train's departure drew near. Tokio thought I wish to inform2outhat we.ania_ed sqfrll 2astnight *a tn rryorr-nop,
about their trip, about Yoshiko's future. If he had not hai a 1to1 w.ill no longerbe wonied. I hope it it you w-iil acceptmj sinurest
wife, of coursehe would certainly have married yoshiko himself. allogie:for hauingoccasioned somuchtroubrewhen
2ou 1ou wereso bus..
And she would probably have been glad to be his wife. she would I "/4 cannotapologi4 enough,-and in fact I wantedti tnnn[you ana n
have comforted his life of ideals, his life of literature, the in- apologiae.to you in person,but I hopeyou uilr understand hoi I i^ ,oo
sufferable torment of his literary creativity. she would probably upsetto do so eaenwhenwefnail.y parid. Each timeI go
to tn, gt;r-aoo,
have been able to savehis now bleak heart. He rememberedher hereat homeI imaginethat triin window at shinbasii,
ood l* cr'arty
picturethat brown-hattedfgure
words to his wife: "why couldn't I too have been born a little standingon theothersidi. snow hos:joilrn
earlier, in your time? It would've been interestingif f had. . . .,' in this regionfrom the ,! the nori, and alongthe thirtl * *ori *;tu
Ub
lvas he then fated never to make yoshiko his wire I woutd there of mountainroadfrom Tatai I nuld think onlyrid thoughltr,
beinggitatl-t
never come a time when he would call her father his father-in- mouedas I recalledIssa,s*famous haiku,,:Is this mf oli
ho*7,"troUa
law ? Life was long, and fate had strange powers. The fact that deepin the snowhere,or mereQa difi?; Father*ihrd
tp senda letter
she was not a virgin-that of thgnksto 7ou, but todal is.markit-dayand he is
she had losf her chastity-mighr ury busy,and,fu
askedto beforgiaenfor expressingnrstnaik through
actually be a help towards her becoming his wife, the wife of *t. rniri i **n
moreI would like to tell 7ou, I arn-frrtirs ueryupsetand so toda1
a man getting on in years and with many children. Fate, life . . . _but
I shall concludethis letter at this boint.
he remembered rurgenev's Punin and Babuin, and now realized
Tokio thought about those thirty miles of mountain
the significance of the life depicted by that outstanding Russian . road deep
in snow, and about that countrf town there in
writer. the hiils, also
buried in snow. He went upstairs to yoshiko's room,
Behind Tokio was a crowd of people, come to see passengers *t i.tt' *u,
still as she had left it the day of her departure.
off. There at the back, standing next to a pillar, *u, u ,irun overcome with
nostalgia-and longrng, he wanted to recall something
in an old trilby hat, who must have arri.red without anvone of her from
thoseof her things rhat were left behind. That d"ay
noticing at the time. Yoshiko now noticed him and her heart tt " *irra
from Musashi Plain was blowing fiercely, and the
raced. Her father wasnot at all pleased.Tokio, however, standing ancient trees
behind the house were roaring frighteningly, Iike ocean
there lost in his daydreams, had not the faintest suspicion that breakers.
when he opened one of the iairishutteri of the window
this man was there behind him. facing
The guard blew his whistle. the day.of her departure, the light came flooding in.
ffl T ?"
r ne oesk,
The train started to move. the bookcase, the bottle, the lipstick-tray, all iere
there just as before, just as if she had simpiy goo"
off to school
u.:. He opened d. drawer of her desi..'6 old oil_smeared
."r"4.
ribbon had been thrown in there. He picked it up
and,oieta
it. Presently he stood up and opened the sliding
11 large wicker traveling--ases, tiid with cord, *".r.
purri,ioi. ft.""-u"
*uiti"g io
A lonely, bleak existence visited Tokio,s home again. It de_
4 176T1827, a
renowaed fr,ster of thc seventeen-syllable haiku.
96

sent ofl and beyond them in a pile lay the bedding that Yoshiko
normally used-a mattress of Iight green arabesquedesign, and
a quilt of the same pattern, with thick cotton padding. Tokio
TheEndof JUemon
drew them out. The familiar smell of a woman's oil and sweat
arcited him beyond words. The velvet edging of the quilt was
noticeably dirty, and Tokio pressedhis face to it, immersing him-
self in that familiar female smell.
All at once he was stricken with desire, with sadness,with
despair. He spread out the mattress, lay the quilt out on it, and
wept as he buried his face against tlte cold, stained, velvet
edging.
The room was gloomy, and outside the wind was raging.
1
(September1907) were somehalf dozenpeoplein the group and, for some
THERE
I reason or other, the conversation chanced to turn to the
works of the Russian novelist I. s. Turgenev. various interesting
opinions emerged about Rudin's fate, Bazarov's character, "od
so forth, but then one of the men sat excitedly forward in his
chair and said, "All this talk about Turgenev has reminded. me
that I once met a character out in the country who could have
come straight from th_epagesof A sportsman's Diary.It was a really
moving experience. He was just like the Russian peasants we
il Turgenev's worls, and I can honestly say that in my
t' l"{
JZ: limited experience I've never had such an obvious revelation of
t-
.9. nature's strength and presence.You know, if we look around. us,
there are quite a few Andrei Kolosovs and chertopkhanovs here
in Japan too." He started to tell his story. . . .

2
Well, I'll begin at tJle very beginning. It started when I was
sixteen and first came up to Tokyo to continue my studies,so it's
quite an ol{ rlgry: Anyway, in those days there was a small pri-
vate school in K6jimachi, in Nakarokubanch6, called the sokusei
Gakkan-the fntensive Training College. It was a really insig-
nificant school like you often seenowadays in the streets around
Hongd and Kanda, a sort of academic general store offering
English, German,' math, Chinese classics,japanese-largely the