Characteristics of Late Childhood
Characteristics of Late Childhood
Characteristics of Late Childhood
1: Late Childhood
Late childhood is the stage of development in the life span of an individual that begins at approximately 6 years old to
the age of twelve years. It coincides with the child’s elementary school years, entering Grade 1 at six years and
graduating from Grade 6 at age 12. Physical, motor, social, emotional, moral, and intellectual changes are sources of
anxiety for the growing child. This is a critical period for the development of his achievement motivation. The child’s
sense of competence gives him the enthusiasm to learn skills, information, and values. His success in these efforts gives
him a sense of control and sense of self-esteem. When properly guided and directed, he develops a sense of maturity.
Characteristics of Late Childhood
Late childhood is the period of learning the basic skills in life. The child receives instruction from adults and older
children. He also learns from his experiences. His peers and other significant people in his environment can influence his
learning.
Parents, educators, and psychologists apply various names to late childhood and these names reflect the important
characteristics of the period.
Names used by PARENTS:
Sloppy age - a time when children tend to be careless and slovenly about their appearance and
when their rooms are so cluttered that it is almost impossible to get into them
Quarrelsome age – the time when family fights are common and when the emotional climate of
the home is far from pleasant for all family members
Name used by EDUCATORS
Elementary school-age – the child is expected to acquire the rudiments of knowledge that are
essential for successful adjustment to adult life
Names used by PSYCHOLOGISTS
Gang age – major concern is acceptance by their age mates and membership in a gang,
especially a gang with prestige in the eyes of their age-mates
Conformity age –willing to conform to group-approved standards in terms of appearance,
speech, and behavior
Play age- there is an overlapping of play activities characteristic of the younger years and those
characteristic of adolescence. It is the breadth of play interests and activities rather than the
time spent in play.
Creative age - whether the child will become conformist or producer of new and original work
Late- Childhood Skills:
1. Self-help skills -older children should be able to eat, dress, bathe, and groom themselves with almost as much
speech and adeptness as an adult, and these skills should not require the conscious attention that was
necessary for early childhood
2. Social-help skills - relate to helping others at home.. they include making beds, dusting, and sweeping; at
school, they include emptying wastebaskets and washing chalkboards; and in the playgroup, they include
helping to construct a treehouse or layout a baseball diamond
3. School skills-at school, the child develops the skills needed in writing, drawing, painting, clay modeling, dancing,
crayoning, sewing, cooking, and woodworking.
4. Play skills- learn such skills as throwing and catching balls, riding a bicycle, skating, and swimming in connection
with play
Developmental Task of Late Childhood
Children in their childhood need opportunities, support, and guidance so that they can develop and accomplish the
following:
learn physical skills necessary for group and organized games
learn to get along with age-mates and members of his family and community
learn fundamental skills in reading, writing, and numeracy
develop appropriate masculine or feminine social roles
learn concepts/skills necessary for everyday living
develop a healthy self-concept
develop a conscience, a sense of right and wrong, and values according to his culture
achieve personal independence by being able to perform life skills
learn to perform the different roles expected of him
think rationally to adjust to situations, make decisions and solve problems
APPROXIMATE
STAGE COGNITIVE DEVELOPMENT
PERIOD IN LIFE
SENSORIMOTOR Birth to 2 years old Children explore the world using their senses and
ability to move. They develop object permanence
and the understanding that concepts and mental
images represent objects, people, and events
1. Etiquette vocabulary- by the end of the first grade, children who have had training at home in using such
words as “please” and “thank you,” have as large etiquette vocabularies as those of the adults in their
environments
2. Color vocabulary- learn the names of all the common colors and many of the less common ones shortly
after they enter school and begin to have formal training in art
3. Number vocabulary- from their study of arithmetic at school, children learn the names and meaning of
numbers
4. Money vocabulary- both in school and at home, older children learn the names of the different coins and
they understand the value of the various denominations of bills
5. Time vocabulary- the time vocabularies of older children are as large as those of adults with whom they
come in contact but their understanding of time words is sometimes incorrect
6. Slang-word and swear-word vocabularies- children learn slang words and swear words from older
siblings and from the older children in the neighborhood. Using such words makes them feel “grown-up”
and they soon discover that, in addition, the use of such words has great attention value
7. Secret vocabularies- use secret vocabularies to communicate with their intimate friends. These can be
written, consisting of codes formed by symbols or the substitutions of one letter for another
Real talk: Filipino culture discourages expressions of emotions so children are confused. When
they were young they were showered with hugs and kisses, with attention. As they grow older, they
are given less attention and scolded more often, at certain times for reasons they cannot
comprehend.
Another confusing condition is the tolerance for the emotional expressions of boys and girls. Boys
should be made aware that it is all right for them to cry or to have some fears. Girls can profit from
their anger by directing their anger to constructive projects.
Trust Versus Mistrust If babies’ needs for food, If babies’ needs for food,
comfort, and affection comfort, and affection are
Infants learn a basic Infancy are meth, they develop a not met they develop a
sense of trust dependent sense of trust in people sense of mistrust and do
Birth to 1 ½-year-old
upon how their needs are and expect those needs not expect their needs to
met. to be met in the future. be met in the future.
Industry Versus Elementary School When children feel they When children fail or feel
Inferiority
The school-aged child have succeeded in
must learn new skills in learning these skills, they
that they have failed in
both the academic world Age develop a sense of
learning these skills, they
and the social world. industry, making them
5 to 12 years old feel inferior when
They compare feel competent and
compared to others.
themselves to others to improving their self-
measure their success or esteem.
failure.
Children begin to form friendships within the context of the peer group. The importance of friends
during childhood. As children move into early adolescence, they begin to talk about friends in terms of
shared identities and similar personalities. This is an outgrowth of the theme of cooperation in which
mutual understanding implies similarity. If individuals know and help each other at this stage, they
assume that the other person is a lot like them. Themes of trust, loyalty, and self-revelation are now
frequently mentioned in discussions of friendship. Children are very industrious and busy where they
are gaining a sense of how they measure up when compared with friends. If industrious children view
themselves as successful, they will get a sense of competence for future challenges while feelings of
inferiority and self-doubt arise when they view themselves as less successful.
In addition, children prepare children who are friendly, not aggressive, physically attractive, members
of their own race, and the same sex. it is rare for a girl and boy to be best friends in late childhood.
Some youngsters are "stars" and others are "isolates" or "rejects," at an early age. Friendless children
lack skill in joining a group, cooperating, and solving conflicts peacefully. Hurlock identified the
psychological hazards of late childhood such as:
speech hazards- children who have difficulty speaking the language used in their school
environment may be handicapped in their efforts to communicate and may be made to feel that
they are “indifferent” - egocentric speech, critical and derogatory comments, and boasting
antagonize their peers
emotional hazards -if they continue to show unacceptable patterns of emotional expression,
such as temper tantrums, and if such unpleasant emotions as anger and jealousy are so dominant
that children are disagreeable and unpleasant to be with
social hazards - children who are rejected or neglected by their peer group are deprived of
opportunities to learn to be social
play hazards- children who lack social acceptance are deprived of opportunities to learn the
games and sports essential to gang belonging
moral hazards - the development of a moral code based on peer or mass-media concepts of right
and wrong which may not coincide with adult
hazards associated with interest - being uninterested in the things age-mates regard as
important
hazards in sex-role typing - when children have grown up in homes where parents play sex
roles that differ from those of their age-mates’ parents
family-relationship hazards - it weakens family ties and leads to a habitual unfavorable pattern of
adjustment to people and problems which carries outside the home. There are common conditions
contributing to the deterioration in family relationships in late childhood, such as:
o attitudes toward parenthood- parents who perceive their roles unfavorably and feel that the
time, effort, and money expended on their children are unappreciated tend to have poor
relationships with their children
o parental expectations – when children fail to meet expectations, parents often criticize, nag,
and punish.
o child-training methods – authoritarian child training, commonly used in large families, both
lead to friction in the home and feelings of resentment on the child’s part. Democratic
discipline fosters good family relationships
o socioeconomic status – if children feel that their homes and possessions compare
unfavorably with those of their peers, they often blame their parents and the parents tend to
resent this bitterly.
o parental occupations –if their mothers work outside their home, children’s attitudes toward
their mothers are colored partly by how their friends feel about women working outside the
home and partly by how many home responsibilities they are expected to assume.
o changed attitudes toward parents- from contacts with their friends’ parents and as a result
of what they have read in books or see in television or in the movies, children build up
concepts of an ideal mother and father. If their own parents fall short of these ideals, they are
likely to become critical of them and compare them unfavorably with the parents of their
friends
o sibling friction – older siblings frequently criticize the appearance and behavior of the
younger child who in turn likes to teas and bully even younger siblings. If parents attempt to
put a stop to this, they are accused of playing favorites. The children may then gang up
against them and the sibling whom they regard as the parental pet.
o changed attitudes towards relatives- older children enjoy being with relatives less than they
did when they were younger and tend to regard them as “too old” or “too bossy.” When they
are expected to be a part of a family gathering, they often put up a protest and claim that
family gatherings “bore” them. Relatives resent these attitudes and frequently reprove the
children.
o stepparents – older children who remember a real parent who is no longer in the home
usually resent a stepparent and show it by critical, negativistic, and generally troublesome
behavior. This leads to friction in the home.
hazards in personality development - the development of an unfavorable self-concept, which leads to
self-rejection
Real Talk: Children's opportunities to make friends, and the kinds of friendships they form,
depend in part on their social environment and such factors like school size.
Pre-Conventional Morality
Behavior is guided by rewards and punishments. Behaviors are “good” or “bad” depending
on their consequences. The child does not understand the rules of society.
Obedience or
Obeying the rules is important to avoid
STAGE 1 Punishment
punishment.
Orientation
Conventional Morality
The child begins to grasp social rules and gains a more objective perspective on right and
wrong.
Post-Conventional Morality
At this level, emphasis is on the personal or idealized principles of a person.
Children who are in their late childhood are expected to be at the conventional level of moral
reasoning. At Stage 3 they uphold conventional laws and values by favoring obedience to parents
and authority figures. Children base judgments on how they imagine others would feel about their
actions. This is sometimes called the "good boy/good girl" stage of morality. Children are most
concerned about the opinions of their family and friends.
According to Hurlock, late childhood children began to experience conflicts whose resolution will
affect the development of their moral standards and sense of self-esteem. Their moral concepts
change when it comes to their perception in:
o life - while some older children find it difficult to understand that many things that move—a
river, for example—are not alive, they become increasingly aware that movement is not the
sole criterion of life
o death- children who experience the death of a family member or pet have a good
understanding of the meaning of death, and the emotional weighting of their concepts of death
is colored by the reactions of those around them
o life after death - concepts of life after death depends mainly on the religious instruction
children receive and on what their friends believe
o bodily functions - until children begin to study hygiene in elementary school, many of their
concepts about bodily functions are inaccurate and incomplete. This is especially true of
internal bodily functions
o space- by using scales and rulers, children learn the meaning of ounces, pounds, inches,
feet, and even mile-from reports of space exploration in the mass media, they develop
concepts about outer space
o numbers- numbers take on new meanings as older children use money and work out
arithmetic problems- by the time they are nine or ten years old, children understand number
concepts to 1,000 and beyond
o causality- concepts of physical causality usually develop earlier than concepts of
psychological causality- children know, for example, what causes rain or snow earlier than
what causes people to become angry
o money- children begin to understand the value of various coins and bills when they start to
use money- opportunities to use money vary markedly and are greater in the lower
socioeconomic-status families than in the upper
o time- the rigid schedule of the school day enables children to develop concepts of what they
can accomplish in a given period of time. Social studies in school and mass media help them
to develop concepts of historical time
o self- children’s concepts of themselves become clarified when they see themselves through
the eyes of their teachers and classmates and when they compare their abilities and
achievements with those of their peers
o sex roles- not only do boys and girls develop clear concepts of approved sec roles, but
before childhood is over they may also learn that the male role is apt to be considered more
prestigious than the female role
o social roles- older children are aware of their peers’ social, religious, racial, and
socioeconomic status and they accept cultural stereotypes and adult attitudes toward these
statuses. This leads to group consciousness and, in many cases, to social prejudice
o beauty - older children tend to judge beauty in terms of group standards rather than
according to their own aesthetic standards. What the group regards as beautiful or ugly, they
accept as their own concepts.
o the Comical - older children’s concepts of the comical are based partly on what they have
observed others perceive as funny and partly on what they themselves can comprehend, as in
the case of riddles.
physical condition- poor health or physical defects that cut children off from play with their peers
make them feel inferior and martyred
body build- children who are overweight or very small for their ages may be unable to keep pace
with their peers, and, as a result, they develop feelings of inferiority
names and nicknames –names which cause children to be ridiculed or which suggest minority-
group status, can lead to feelings of inferiority. Nicknames that make fun of a physical or
personality trait lead to feelings of inferiority, martyrdom, and resentment.
socioeconomic status –if children feel that they have better homes, better clothes, and better
play equipment than their age-mates, they will feel superior. If they sense that their socioeconomic
status is inferior to that of their age-mates it is likely to lead to feelings of inferiority.
school environment–competence, understanding teachers do much to bring about good
adjustment in their pupils, while teachers who use discipline that children consider unfair or that
otherwise antagonize them have the opposite influence.
social acceptance –acceptance or the lack of it on the part of peers influences the child’s
personality through its effect on the self-concept. Very popular children and isolates are especially
affected.
success and failure –success in the tasks the child sets out to achieve leads to a feeling of
confidence and self-acceptance, while failure makes for a feeling of inadequacy. The more
prestigious the activity, the greater the effect of success or failure on the self-concept. Repeated
failures have a damaging effect on a child’s personality.
sex-girl recognize that the sex roles they are expected to play are inferior to male roles, and this
realization results in a corresponding decrease in self-evaluation. They incorporate society’s
evaluations of their roles as inferior and so value themselves less.
intelligence
o Children who are duller than average sense their inferiority and the rejectant attitude of their
group- they become shy, introverted, or apathetic and aggressive toward those who reject
them
o Children with high IQs also are likely to have poor self-concept due to the fact that adults
expect too much from them.
appearance-interested in their looks only if they are so homely or so different in appearance from
their age-mates
clothes- interested in clothing like that worn by their friends-with definite color preferences in
clothing
names and nicknames- first names are of interest to older children only when they are different
from their friends’ names – they do not like nicknames that imply ridicule
religion-often skeptical about religious teaching and about the efficacy of prayers
the human body- try to satisfy their curiosity about what goes on inside their bodies by asking
questions, reading books, or looking at illustrations
health- only when they are sick are they interested in health
sex-getting information from books or from their friends with whom they exchange “dirty” stories
and jokes
school- enthusiastic about their school at first. By the end of the second grade, many develop
bored, antagonistic, and critical attitudes toward the academic work though they may still like the
nonacademic aspects of school- their attitudes are greatly influenced by how interesting the
teachers make the material they are expected to learn and how they view this material in terms of
future occupations
future vocation-interest in their future vocations is centered on jobs, children regard as
glamorous, exciting, and prestigious, or which embody activities or uniforms that are important to
them at that time
status symbols- interested in visible symbols of the socioeconomic status of their families such
as cars or large houses
autonomy-how much autonomy depends mainly on how much their friends have…. If they have
as much or more than their friends, they are usually satisfied
PUBERTY
The word puberty is derived from the Latin word pubertas, which means “age of manhood.” It refers to
the physical rather than the behavioral changes which occur when the individual becomes sexually
mature and is capable of producing offspring.
Puberty is the point in the development of man at which the individual becomes physically capable of
sexual reproduction. It covers the time during which the primary and secondary sex characteristics of
the body emerge. Sexual maturation follows a predictable sequence for members of both sexes. It
begins with the production of sex hormones by the ovaries in females and testes in males. These
hormones trigger a series of physiological changes that lead to ovulation and menstruation in females
and the production of sperm cells in males. These are the primary sex characteristics. Menarche or
the first menstrual period signifies this new stage of maturation for girls. The secondary sex
characteristics like the development of the breast and hips begin before menarche and continue until
the individual has reached full maturity.
There is no one particular experience that establishes manhood in the same way that menarche
signals womanhood. However, the pubescent male experiences growth in both primary and
secondary characteristics. Growth usually occurs first in the testes in their sac-like container, the
scrotum. About a year later the developmental acceleration encompasses the penis, which becomes
larger. Internal glands in the reproductive system enlarge and begin to form and secrete a variety of
substances including mature spermatozoa.
6. A negative phase - losing some of the good qualities previously developed. The worst of the negative
phrase is over when the individual becomes sexually mature. The negative phase is more pronounced in girls
than in boys.
7. Occurs at a variable age- can occur between the ages of 5 or 6 and 19 years.
Sex differences in growth rates. While males and females grow at about the same rates during
childhood, females experience puberty, and the adolescent growth spurt 2 years earlier than
males.
Different growth rates of body parts. Hands and feet grow before arms and legs, and legs grow
before the torso. Noses, ears, and jaws can outpace the growth lead to awkwardness, lack of
poise, and embarrassment.
Irregular changes in weight and physique. The rapid gains in height, the shifts in body fat, and
the late development of muscle tissue can cause the adolescent’s physique to change
dramatically.
Troublesome skin changes. Sweat and odor glands step up their activity, producing body odor
and the need for frequent bathing. The oil glands become active and may cause skin problems
like acne.
Personality/Appearance. His physical growth and development make the pubescent develop
self-consciousness. He begins to worry about his personal appearance-- clothes, grooming, and
acceptability to peers.
Relationships. The pubescent’s sense of self, his new self, his new role, and his view of the
future usually overwhelms the young pubescent, affecting his interaction with significant others.
Variation in age maturity. Sexual maturation can begin anytime within a six-year range for both
sexes. These differences in the timing of puberty can be of significant concern for the individual.
1. The desire for isolation- when puberty changes begin, children usually withdraw from peer and
family activities and often quarrel with peers and family members. They spend much time
daydreaming about how misunderstood and mistreated they are and experimenting with sex
through masturbation. Part of this withdrawal syndrome includes the refusal to communicate with
others.
2. Boredom-pubescent children are bored with the play they formerly enjoyed, with schoolwork, with
social activities, and with life in general. As a result, they do as little work as they can, thus
developing the habit of underachieving. This habit is accentuated by not feeling up to par
physically.
3. Incoordination- rapid and uneven growth affects habitual patterns of coordination, and the
pubescent child is clumsy and awkward for a time. As growth slows down, coordination gradually
improves.
4. Social antagonism– the pubescent child is often uncooperative, disagreeable, and antagonistic.
Open hostility between the sexes, expressed in constant criticism and derogatory comments, is
common at this age. As puberty progresses, the child becomes friendlier, more cooperative, and
more tolerant of others.
5. Heightened emotionality– moodiness, sulkiness, temper outbursts, and a tendency to cry at the
slightest provocation are characteristic of the early part of puberty. It is a time of worry, anxiety,
and irritability. Depression, irritability, and negative moods are especially common during the
premenstrual and early menstrual periods of girls. As pubescent children become more mature
physically, they become less tense and exhibit more mature emotional behavior.
6. Loss of self-confidence– the pubescent child formerly so self-assured, becomes lacking in self-
confidence and fearful of failure. This is due partly to lowered physical resistance and partly to the
constant criticism of adults and peers. Many boys and girls emerge from puberty with the
foundations of an inferiority complex.
7. Excessive modesty- the bodily changes that take place during puberty cause the child to
become excessively modest for fear that others will notice these changes and comment on them
favorably.
According to Hurlock, there are three A’s of unhappiness at Puberty ( 3 “A’s ), these are:
Acceptance- both self-acceptance and social acceptance. To be satisfied with their lives to the
point that they can consider themselves happy, pubescents must not only like and accept
themselves, the happier they will be. Similarly, the more people there are whom they want to like
and accept them, the more satisfied they are with their status in the social group
Affection- they want more affection than they formerly did because they are unhappy and
dissatisfied with themselves and with life in general
Achievement- at a low level at this age that it makes little or no contribution to the pubescent
child’s happiness. When their achievements fall short of their potentials, most pubescents realize
it and feel guilty and ashamed. When for example, their school grades take a plunge, as they
often do during the puberty years, pubescents are aware of the fact that they can do and have
done better work than they are now doing. If parents and teachers criticize and reprimand them
for their lack of achievements, this adds to the feelings of guilt they experience and affects
detrimentally their happiness.
Because the three A’s of happiness--- acceptance, affection, and achievement--- are often violated
during these years, puberty tends to be one of the most unhappy periods of the life span. This is
serious because unhappiness can and often does become habitual.
9.1: Adolescence
The term adolescence comes from the Latin word adolescere meaning to grow to maturity---
mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically. This point of view was expressed by Piaget as quoted
in Hurlock (1982) when he said:
“ Psychologically, adolescence is the age when the individual becomes integrated into
the society of adults, the age when the child no longer feels that he is below the level of his elders but
equal, at least in rights. This integration into adult society has many affective aspects, more or less
linked with puberty. It also includes very profound intellectual changes… These intellectual
transformations typical of the adolescent’s thinking enable him to achieve his integration into social
relationship of adults, which is, in fact, the most general characteristic of this period of development.”
Adolescent Years
It is customary to regard adolescence as beginning when children become sexually mature and
ending when they reach the age of level maturity. Studies of changes in behavior, attitudes, and
values throughout adolescence show marked differences during the early part of the period. As a
result, it is divided into two subdivisions, early and late adolescence. The division is placed at around
17 years, at about the same time they pursue collegiate courses or begin to be apprentices in the
world of work. Early adolescence extends roughly from thirteen to sixteen or seventeen years while
late adolescence is a short period from the age of 16 to 18 up to twenty-one for those who would like
to continue to depend on others for financial support until they are through with college course.
Characteristics of Adolescence
1. An important period-rapid physical and mental development occurs. These give rise to the
need to form mental adjustments and the necessity for establishing new attitudes, values, and
interests.
2. A transitional period- is neither a child nor an adult. If adolescents behave like children, they are
told to “act their age.” If they try to act to act like adults, they are often accused of being “too big
for their britches” and are reproved for their attempts to act like adults
3. A period of change- during early adolescence, when physical changes are rapid, changes in
attitudes and behavior are also rapid. As physical changes slow down, so do attitudinal and
behavioral changes.
heightened emotionality- depends on the rate at which the physical and psychological
changes are taking place
rapid changes that accompany sexual maturing-making young adolescents unsure of
themselves, of their capacities, and other interests- have strong feelings of instability which
are often intensified by the ambiguous treatment they receive from parents and teachers.
changes in their bodies, their interests, and in the roles the social group expects them to
play create new problems
values- most adolescents no longer think that a large group of friends is a more important
indication of popularity than friends of the type that are admired and respected by their
peers. They now recognize quality as more important than quantity
ambivalent about changes- while they want and demand independence, they often dread
the responsibilities that go with independence and question their ability to cope with these
responsibilities.
4. A problem age- many adolescents are inexperienced in coping with their own problems, rebuffing
attempts on the part of parents and teachers to help them. Because of their inability to cope with
problems alone as well as they believe they can, many adolescents find that the solutions do not
always come up to their expectations.
5. A time of search for identity- to establish themselves as individuals is by the use of status
symbols in the form of cars, clothes, and other readily observable material possessions. They
hope in this way to attract attention to themselves and to be recognized as individuals, while at the
same time, maintaining their identity with the peer group.
6. A dreaded age-the belief that adults have poor opinions of them makes the transition into
adulthood difficult. By so doing, it leads to much friction with their parents and places a barrier
between them and their parents which prevents them from turning to their parents for help in
solving their problems.
7. A time of unrealism- tendency to look at life through rose-tinted glasses. They see themselves
and others as they would like them to be rather than as they are. The more unrealistic their
aspirations are, the more angry, hurt, and disappointed they will be when they feel that others
have let them down or that they have not lived up to the goals they set for themselves.
8. The threshold of adulthood-begin to concentrate on behavior that is associated with the adult
status—smoking, drinking, using drugs, and engaging in sex. They believe that this behavior will
create the image they desire.
The Ability to Coordinate Multiple They may not proceed Is able to raise and test a
Factors in Problem Solving systematically in solving a hypothesis about a given
problem and may not be able to problem in a systematic fashion;
perceive the interaction of marked ability to deal with many
several factors in a situation. facts simultaneously.
Although not all adolescents attain formal operations during early adolescence, there is evidence that
some older adolescents may go beyond formal operations or to the second phase of formal
operations. This phase has been called problem finding in contrast to the problem solving that
characterizes formal operations. Thus, the thinking of some older adolescents aged 15 to 20 years
old might be considered “divergent” (moving towards new or creative solutions or the identification of
alternatives) rather than “convergent” (moving toward known or accepted solutions to problems). this
type of thinking characterizes older adolescents. Intelligence is identified by the quality of questions
asked rather than the arrival at known conclusions.
Thinking about the meaning of words leads the adolescent to the creation of ideals. Thinking about
“what would be” makes him question “what it,” and is sometimes the basis for conflicts between hos
and adults. He begins to criticize the conditions of his own environment or the persons in his family
and school. “My teacher is not good, she does not know how to teach and yet she scolds us very
often.”
According to David Elkind (1984), teenagers are particularly likely to harbor such beliefs. Taken
together, he calls them the “personal fable,” the conviction that “I am special--- what is true for
everyone else is not true for me.” Up to a point, this fable supports an optimistic outlook on life, but it
becomes dangerous if it leads people to take foolish risks.
Although most adolescents have reached the level of formal operational reasoning, their cognition at
times often retains an immature quality. This is not really surprising; they have recently developed the
ability to reason abstractly, but have little experience upon which to base their abstract thoughts.
David Elkind (1984) has pointed out that adolescents often possess a form of egocentrism of young
children and similarly distorts their perception of reality. There are four primary features of adolescent
ego-centrism. As you will readily notice, the thinking of fully mature adults is not always free of these
characteristics. However, the four reality-distorting activities described by Elkind are more
characteristic of the adolescent stage than any other -- and help explain why conversations between
adolescents and adults are sometimes so frustrating to both parties.
1. The primary characteristic of adolescent egocentrism has been termed the imaginary audience by
Elkind. The adolescent often feels that he or she is the focus of everyone’s attention. If he
stumbles or stammers, everyone will notice, talk about, and never forget the event. Of course, the
crowd is no more interested in his minor tragedies than in their own. The audience that the
adolescent believes detects his every flaw does not really exist-- it’s imaginary.
2. Adolescent egocentrism also manifests itself in what Elkind calls the personal fable. The
adolescent often feels that her problems- over school, complexion, friends -- are totally unique,
having never been experienced by anyone else in a remotely similar way. Understandably, this
form of egocentric thinking can heighten the adjustments that are a normal part of adolescence
and can lead to a sense of isolation in some adolescents.
3. Adolescent egocentrism is typified by an unusual degree of hypocrisy. Adolescents are even more
likely than adults to condemn in others the same actions and traits that they find acceptable in
themselves. The adolescent is outraged when she learns that her friend had a luncheon with a
friend. She is jealous but excuses herself for talking with her neighbor because it was just plain
courtesy.
4. Finally, adolescent egocentrism is characterized by what Elkind (1984) colorfully calls
pseudorapidity. This often involves an overreliance on the power of logic. The adolescent might
say, “ If alcoholics know they’re going to die from cirrhosis of the liver, why don’t they just stop
drinking.” the cold logic of their argument makes it difficult for them to consider that it’s difficult for
alcoholics to stop their consciousness-numbing addiction for many psychological and physical
reasons. At other times, however, this pseudostupidity takes the form of using unnecessary
convoluted and complex logic when simpler thinking will suffice. These unusual patterns of logic
also tend to make reasoning with adolescents a notable challenge.
An important product of thinking about ideals is adolescents’ future orientation. The future orientation
of the adolescent is a way of developing goals and organizing immediate activities meaningfully in
terms of nature is an important skill of adulthood. “I have to study harder in Mathematics. I’ll need this
when I take up Engineering in college.”
Identity Forec
Decisions
already made Identity Achievement
Decisions not
yet made
Identity Moratorium Identity Diffusion
Those who have not yet given any serious thought to making any decisions and who have no clear
sense of identity are said to have identity diffusion. They are not actively concerned with their
identity at that moment. Identity diffusion is more common among people with low self-esteem and a
hopeless, pessimistic attitude toward life. People in identity moratorium are considering the issues
but yet making decisions. They experiment with various possibilities and imagine themselves in
different roles before making a choice. Researchers distinguish between two kinds of moratorium ---
simply delaying a decision and actively searching for a decision (Crocetti, Rubini, Luyckx, and
Meeus, 2008).
Identity foreclosure is a stare of reaching firm decisions without much thought. For example, a
young man might be told that he is expected to go into the family business with his father, or a young
woman might be told that she is expected to marry and raise children. Decrees of that sort were once
common in North America and Europe, and they are still common in other societies today. Someone
who accepts such decisions has little reason to explore alternative possibilities.
Finally, identity achievement is the outcome of having explored various possible identities and then
making one’s own decisions. Identity achievement does not come all at once. For example, you might
decide about your career but not about marriage. You might also reach identity achievement and then
rethink a decision years after.
Alienation syndrome
GAMES-organized games and sports lose their appeal as adolescence progresses, and the
adolescent begins to prefer spectator sports. Games requiring intellectual skill, such as card
games, increase in popularity.
RELAXING- Adolescents enjoy relaxing and talking with their friends. They often eat while
gossiping and exchanging jokes, and older adolescents may smoke, drink, or take drugs.
TRAVELING- the adolescent enjoys traveling during vacations and may want to go farther and
farther away from home. Parental affluence and youth hostels make travel possible for many
adolescents
HOBBIES- because hobbies are, for the most part, solitary recreational activities, unpopular
adolescents are more interested in hobbies than popular ones. Many pursue useful hobbies; girls
may make their own clothes, and boys enjoy repairing radios, bicycles, or cars.
DANCING- although many boys have little interest in dancing, they, like girls, try to become good
dancers because it is an important part of dating.
READING- because adolescents have limited time for recreational reading, they tend to prefer
magazines to books. As adolescence progresses, comic books and comic strips lose some of
their appeals, and newspapers gain in popularity.
MOVIES-going to the movies is a favorite clique activity and later a popular dating activity. Girls
prefer romantic movies, while boys like those dealing with adventure.
RADIO AND RECORDS- adolescents enjoy listening to the radio while studying or engaging in
solitary forms of amusement. Programs of popular music are the favorites. They also enjoy
listening to records.
TELEVISION- television watching loses some of its appeals as adolescence progresses, partly
because the adolescent becomes increasingly critical of the programs and partly because the
adolescent cannot study or read and watch television simultaneously
DAYDREAMING- in a typical adolescent daydream, adolescents see themselves as conquering
heroes gaining prestige in the eyes of the peer group by their achievements. Daydreaming is a
popular recreation among all adolescents when they are bored or lonely.
Period of religious reconstruction: sooner or later, most adolescents feel the need of some
religious faith, even though they find their childhood faith no longer meets their new faith--- the
faith of an intimate friend of the same or of the opposite sex or one of the new religious cults.
These cults are constantly springing up in different parts of the country and have a strong appeal
to the older adolescents and young adults who lack religious ties. Such young people are easy
prey to any new or different religious cult
Standards of behavior: adolescents often consider their parents’ standards of behavior old-
fashioned and resent having to conform to standards different from those of their peers
Methods of discipline: when adolescents regard disciplinary methods used by their parents as
“unfair” or “childish,” they rebel. The greatest rebellion occurs in homes where one parent is
perceived as having more authority than the other. This is especially so when the mother has the
greater authority. By contrast, egalitarian marriage relationships tend to be related to a moderate
amount of rebellion.
Relationships with siblings: the adolescent may be scornful of younger siblings and resentful of
older ones, leading to friction with them as well as with parents, whom they may accuse of
“playing favorites.”
Feeling victimized: adolescents often become resentful if the socio-economic status of their
families makes it impossible for them to have the same status symbols--- clothes, cars, etc. – their
friends have; if they must assume many household responsibilities, such as care of younger
siblings; or if a stepparent comes into the home and tries to “boss” them. This antagonizes
parents and adds to an already strained parent-adolescent relationship.
Hypercritical attitudes- family members resent adolescents’ hypercritical attitudes toward them
and the general pattern of family life.
Family size: In medium-sized families--- three to four children--- there is more friction than in small
or large families. Parents in large families will not tolerate friction while, in small families, they are
more permissive and adolescents feel less need to rebel
Immature behavior: parents often develop punitive attitudes when adolescents neglect their
school work, shun their responsibilities, or spend their money foolishly. Adolescents resent these
critical and punitive attitudes
Rebellion against relatives: parents and relatives become angry if adolescents openly express
their feelings that family gatherings are “boring” or if they reject their suggestions and advice
Latchkey problems: the new and more active social life of adolescents may result in the breaking
of family rules concerning time to return home and the people they associate with especially
members of the opposite sex.
Poor foundations: adolescents who did not establish good foundations during childhood will be
unable to master the developmental tasks of adolescence
Late maturing: late maturers have less time in which to master the developmental tasks of
adolescence than early maturers or those who mature at the average age. Many late maturers
have barely completed the puberty changes when adolescence is drawing to a close
Prolonged treatment as children: adolescents who, because they were late maturers, are often
treated as children at the time when their contemporaries are treated as near adults. As a result,
they may develop feelings of inadequacy about their abilities to assume the rights, privileges, and
responsibilities that go with adulthood.
Role change: adolescents who go to work after completing high school, or after dropping out of
school, undergo a drastic role change almost overnight. They must assume adult roles earlier
than their contemporaries who continue their education, and they are deprived of the opportunity
to make a slow transition into adulthood.
Prolonged dependency: a prolonged state of dependency as when adolescents continue their
education into early adulthood, is a handicap in making the transition to adulthood. Because girls,
as a group, are more apt to be forced into a state of prolonged dependency than boys, they are
especially handicapped in making the transition into adulthood.
As adolescence progresses, the frictional relationship is gradually replaced by a more pleasant and
affectionate relationship.
The parent-adolescent relationship improves when parents begin to realize and accept that their sons
and daughters are no longer children and when they try to understand the new cultural values of their
adolescents. They begin to relax in their discipline and try to understand their children’s standards of
behavior. Adolescent, on the other hand, begins to share anxieties and experiences with their
parents. Thus, both parties enjoy a more pleasant and affectionate relationship.
Relationship with siblings, grandparents, and other relatives improves as adolescence progresses.
With their newly acquired poise and self-confidence, adolescents begin to appreciate older siblings
and accept younger siblings’ behavior. They begin to treat grandparents and other relatives more
graciously and heed their criticisms more gratefully.
1. Parent and Adolescent Conflict. It is the family where an individual should experience the most
stable relationship individual should experience. Parents and adolescents usually develop
conflicts even if they are most familiar with each other, living in the same unit, which is the home.
They are also attached to each other by the greatest interpersonal emotion which is love. Yet, a
survey of adolescent problems shows that family relations are one of the highest sources of an
adolescent’s problems.
One of the most complaints of adolescents about their parents is that the latter treats them as
unthinking. They are reminded of the same things so they sound like a “broken record.” “They seem
not to realize that I have grown and am not a kinder pupil anymore.” Stubbornness ( not heeding the
former’s reminders and advice) and their lack of cooperation with them when peer and parent conflict.
Joseph R. Thomas (1980) cites seven ways to effectively manage conflicts in the family:
1. The “setting-down age.”When adults of today start to settle down depends upon two factors. First, how
soon they are able to find a lifestyle that meets their needs throughout life. Second, the responsibilities they
must assume before doing so. Once individuals decide upon the pattern of life they believe will meet their
needs, they develop patterns of behavior, attitudes, and values that will tend to be characteristically theirs
for the remainder of their lives
2. The “reproductive age.” Parenthood is one of the most important roles in the lives of most young adults.
Those who were married during the latter years of adolescence concentrate on the role of parenthood during
their twenties and early thirties; some become grandparents before early adulthood ends.
3. A “ problem age.” In the years from the beginning of legal adulthood to thirty, most men and women are
adjusting to marriage, parenthood, and jobs. Consequently, most men have made their adjustments to their work
earlier and are now concentrating on adjustments related to problems of parenthood.
4. A “ period of emotional tension.” When emotional tension persists into the thirties, it is generally
expressed in worries. What young adults worry about will depend on what adjustment problems they are facing
at the time and how much success or failure they are experiencing in meeting these problems. Their worries
may be mainly concentrated on their work because they feel they are not advancing as rapidly as they had
hoped to, or their worries may be concentrated on marital or parenthood problems. When adults feel that they
have not been able to cope with the problems in the major areas of their lives, they are often so emotionally
disturbed that they contemplate or attempt suicide
5. A “period of social isolation.” Isolation is intensified by a competitive spirit and a strong desire to rise on
the vocational ladder. To achieve success, they must compete with others—thus replacing the friendliness of
adolescence with the competitiveness of the successful adult—and they must also devote most of their energies
to their work, which leaves them little time for the socialization that leads to close relationships. As a result,
they become self-centered, which contributes to loneliness
6. A “time of commitments.” Establish new patterns of living, assume new responsibilities, and make new
commitments. While these new patterns of living, new responsibilities, and new commitments may change
later, they form the foundations on which later patterns of living, responsibilities, and commitments will be
established.
7. A “ period of dependency.” Some young adults resent this dependency, though they realize it is essential if
they are to get the training needed for their chosen careers. Many take the financial support of their parents of
educational institutions, or of the government for granted, but feel no obligation to be dominated in any way by
those who have financed their training for their future careers. They expect and demand the same autonomy that
their self-supporting age-mates have.
8. A “ time of value change.” There are many reasons for value changes. First, if young adults want to be
accepted by members of the adult group, they must accept the values of the adult group. Second, young adults
soon discover that most social groups hold conventional values about beliefs and behavior, just as they do about
appearance. Third, young adults who become parents not only tend to change their values earlier and more
radically, than those who are unmarried or childless, but they also shift to more conservative and traditional
values. In general, the values of most young adults change from egocentric to social. Members of the “me”
generation--- those who think mainly of their own happiness and desire for self-indulgence--- gradually become
more socially conscious and concerned as they assume the roles of spouse and parent.
9. The “ time of adjustment to new lifestyles.”The most common are adjustments to new family-life patterns
and new vocational patterns, especially large and impersonal work units in business and industry
10. “A creative age.” Many young adults pride themselves on being different and do not regard this as an
indication of inferiority. Because they are no longer shackled by the restrictions placed on their behavior by
parents and teachers, young adults are free to be themselves and to do what they want to do.
The authorities know “the tutor knows what is right and wrong”
Dualism
The true authorities are right, the “my tutor doesn’t know what is right and wrong
others are frauds but others do”
(a) Everyone has the right to their “different tutors think different things.”
own opinion “there is an answer that the tutors want and we
(b) The authorities don’t want the
right answers. They want us to think
have to find it”
in a certain way
You have to make your own “What is important is not what the tutor thinks
decisions but what I think.”
Relativism
First commitment “for this particular topic, I think that….”
Furthermore, the argument about the possible growth of intelligence versus the slowing down or
decline of intelligence in adulthood has contrasted fluid with crystallized intelligence. It has drawn
some conclusions about the intelligence argument. It has raised the possibility of the fifth stage of
cognitive development. It has described the decision-making processes of adulthood and has
highlighted the importance of certain career decisions and other decisions.
John Holland (1985) proposed that there are six personality types as well as varying types of work
environments. The better matched one’s personality is to the workplace characteristics, the more
satisfied and successful one is predicted to be with that career or vocational choice. Research
support has been mixed and we should note that there is more to satisfaction and success in a career
than one’s personality traits or likes and dislikes. For instance, education, training, and abilities need
to match the expectations and demands of the job, plus the state of the economy, availability of
positions, and salary rates may play practical roles in choices about work.
Likes to do things to help people -- like, teaching, nursing, or giving first aid,
providing information; generally avoids using machines, tools, or animals to
Social achieve a goal;
Is good at teaching, counseling, nursing, or giving information;
Values helping people and solving social problems; and
Sees self as helpful, friendly, and trustworthy.
Likes to lead and persuade people, and to sell things and ideas; generally
avoids activities that require careful observation and scientific, analytical
Enterprising thinking;
Is good at leading people and selling things or ideas;
Values success in politics, leadership, or business; and
Sees self as energetic, ambitious, and sociable.
Likes to work with numbers, records, or machines in a set, orderly way;
generally avoids ambiguous, unstructured activities
Conventional Is good at working with written records and numbers in a systematic, orderly way;
Values success in business; and
Sees self as orderly, and good at following a set plan.
According to Levinson, young adults have an image of the future that motivates them. This image is
called “the dream” and for the men interviewed, it was a dream of how their career paths would
progress and where they would be at midlife. Dreams are very motivating. Dreams of a home bring
excitement to couples as they look, save, and fantasize about how life will be. Dreams of careers
motivate students to continue in school as they fantasize about how much their hard work will pay
off. Levinson’s stages (at least up to midlife) are presented below. He suggested that periods of
transition last about five years and periods of stability last about seven years. The ages presented
below are based on life in the middle-class several decades ago.
STAGES
Entering middle adulthood (45- Committing to new choices made and placing one’s energies into
50) these commitments
10.5: Relationships in Early
Development
Relationships are very important during early adulthood, especially because they become even more
intimate and in some cases will lead to marriage. Happiness is tied to relationships.
We all understand what Erikson‘s intimacy vs. isolation stage describes. Intimacy, to Erikson,
involves elements of unselfishness, sacrifice, sexuality, and devotion. This developmental crisis of
“intimacy versus isolation” is affected by how the adolescent crisis of “identity versus role confusion”
was resolved (in addition to how the earlier developmental crises in infancy and childhood were
resolved). The young adult might be afraid to get too close to someone else and lose her or his sense
of self, or the young adult might define her or himself in terms of another person. Intimate
relationships are more difficult if one is still struggling with identity. Achieving a sense of identity is a
life-long process, but there are periods of identity crisis and stability.
In our twenties, intimacy needs may be met in friendships rather than with partners. The kinds of
friendships shared by women tend to differ from those shared by men. Friendships between men are
more likely to involve sharing information, providing solutions, or focusing on activities rather than
discussing problems or emotions. Men tend to discuss opinions or factual information or spend time
together in an activity of mutual interest. Friendships between women are more likely to focus on
sharing weaknesses, emotions, or problems. Women talk about difficulties they are having in other
relationships and express their sadness, frustrations, and joys. These differences in approaches
could lead to problems when men and women come together. She may want to vent about a problem
she is having; he may want to provide a solution and move on to some activity. But when he offers a
solution, she thinks he does not care! Effective communication is the key to good relationships.
proximity - allows people the opportunity to get to know one other and discover their similarities
—all of which can result in a friendship or intimate relationship.
familiarity- just being around someone or being repeatedly exposed to them increases the likelihood that
we will be attracted to them. We also tend to feel safe with familiar people, as it is likely we know what to
expect from them.
similarity - while many make the argument that opposites attract, research has found that is
generally not true; similarity is key - we like others who are like us.
reciprocity -we are more likely to like someone if they feel the same way toward us- relationships
are built on give and take
LOVE
Robert Sternberg’s work has focused on the notion that all types of love are comprised of three
distinct areas:
Voluntary temporary singles: These are younger people who have never been married and
divorced people who are postponing marriage and remarriage. They may be more involved in
careers or getting an education or just wanting to have fun without making a commitment to any
one person. They are not quite ready for that kind of relationship. These people tend to report
being very happy with their single status.
Voluntary permanent singles: These individuals do not want to marry and aren’t intending to
marry. This might include cohabiting couples who don’t want to marry, priests, nuns, or others
who are not considering marriage. Again, this group is typically single by choice and
understandably more contented with this decision.
Involuntary temporary: These are people who are actively seeking mates. They hope to marry
or remarry and may be involved in going on blind dates, seeking a partner on the internet, or
placing “getting personal” aids in search of a mate. They tend to be more anxious about being
single.
Involuntary permanent: These are older divorced, widowed, or never-married people who
wanted to marry but have not found a mate and are coming to accept singlehood as a probable
permanent situation. Some are bitter about not having married while others are more accepting of
how their life has developed.
10.6: Parenthood
Galinsky(1987) identified six stages of parenthood that focus on different tasks and goals.
Stage 1: The Image- Planning for a Consider what it means to be a parent and plan for
Making Stage child; pregnancy changes to accommodate a child
Stage 2: The Nurturing Develop an attachment relationship with child and adapt
Infancy
Stage to the new baby
Stage 3: The Authority Toddler and Parents create rules and figure out how to effectively
Stage preschool guide their children’s behavior
Stage 4: The Parents help their children interpret their experiences with
Middle childhood
Interpretative Stage the social world beyond the family
limited preparation for marriage: Although sexual adjustments may be easier now than in the
past because of readily available sex information in the home, schools, and colleges, and
premarital sexual experience, most couples have received little preparation in the areas of
domestic skills, child-rearing, getting along with in-laws, and money management.
roles in marriage: The trend toward changes in marital roles for both men and women and the
different concepts of these roles held by different social classes and religious groups make
adjustment problems in marriage more difficult now than in the past when these roles were more
rigidly prescribed.
early marriage: Marriage and parenthood before young people have finished their education and
are economically independent deprives them of the opportunity to have many of the experiences
enjoyed by their unmarried contemporaries or even by their married friends who waited to be
financially independent before marrying. This leads to constant envy and resentment which
militates against good marital adjustments.
unrealistic concepts of marriage: Adults who have spent their lives in school and college, with
little or no work experience, tend to have unrealistic concepts of what marriage means in terms of
work, deprivations, financial expenditures, or changes in life pattern. This unrealistic approach to
marriage inevitably leads to serious adjustment problems which often lead to divorce.
mixed marriages: Adjustments to parenthood and to in-laws--- both of which are important to
marital happiness--- are much more difficult in interracial or interreligious marriages than when
both marriage partners come from the same racial or religious backgrounds.
shortened courtships: The courtship period is shorter now than in the past, and thus the couple
has less time to solve many of the problems related to the adjustment before they are actually
married.
romantic concepts of marriage: Many adults have a romantic concept of marriage developed in
adolescence. Overly optimistic expectations of what marriage will bring often lead to
disenchantment which increases the difficulties of adjusting to the duties and responsibilities of
marriage.
lack of identity: If a man feels that his family, friends, and associates treat him as “Janes
husband” or if a woman feels that the social group regards her as “just a housewife” even though
she is or has been a successful career woman, they are likely to resent the loss of their identity as
individuals which they strove hard to achieve and valued highly before marriage.
attitudes toward pregnancy: The woman’s attitude toward parenthood is colored by her physical
and emotional condition during pregnancy. In most cases, if her attitude has been unfavorable, it
improves after the baby’s birth.
attitudes toward parenthood: Adults adjust better to parenthood if they want children because
they feel they are essential to a happy marriage, rather than because of family or social
pressures.
age of parents: Young parents tend to take their parental responsibilities lightly and not allow
them to interfere too much with their other interests and pleasures. Older parents tend to be more
anxious and concerned. Thus younger parents often make better adjustments.
sex of children: Adults’ attitudes toward parenthood are more favorable if they have a child or
children of the sex they prefer.
number of children: When adults have the number of children they consider “ideal,” their
adjustment to parenthood will be better than if they have more or fewer children than they want.
parental expectations: If parents have a “dream-child” concept, their adjustment to parenthood
will be affected by how well the child measures up to this ideal.
feelings of parental adequacy: Conflicts about child-training methods lead to confusion and to
feelings of anxiety about doing the job well. This has an unfavorable effect on the adult’s
adjustment to parenthood.
attitudes toward changed roles: Parenthood means that both the man and the woman must
learn to play family-centered rather than pair-centered roles. How men and women react to these
role changes will have a profound influence on their adjustments to parenthood.
the child’s temperament: Children who are easy to manage and who are responsive and
affectionate make parents feel rewarded for the time and effort they spend on them. This has a
favorable effect on parents’ attitudes toward their parental roles.
happiness of husband and wife: A husband and wife who are happy together derive satisfaction
from the roles they play. They also have a mature and stable love for each other, have made good
sexual adjustments, and have accepted the parental role.
good parent-child relationships: Good parent-child relationships reflect successful marital
adjustment and contribute to it. If parent-child relationships are poor, the home climate will be
marked by fiction, which makes marital adjustment difficult.
good adjustment of children: Children who are well adjusted, well-liked by their peers, and
successful and happy in school are proof of their parents' good adjustment to marriage and
parental roles.
ability to deal satisfactorily with disagreements: Disagreement between family members,
which are inevitable, generally end in one of three ways; There is a temporary truce with no
solution, one person gives in for the sake of peace or all family members try to understand the
other's point of view. In the long run, only the latter leads to satisfactory adjustments though the
first two help to reduce the tension that friction gives rise to.
“togetherness”: When marital adjustments are successful, the family enjoys spending time
together. If good family relationships are built up during the early formative years, men and
women will retain close ties with their families after they grow up, marry and establish homes of
their own.
good financial adjustments: In many families, one of the common sources of friction and
resentment centers on money. Regardless of the income, a family that learns to budget its
expenses so as to avoid constant debts and to be satisfied with what it can afford to have and do
is better adjusted than one in which the wife constantly complains about the husband earning
power or take a job supplement his earnings.
good in-law adjustments: Husbands and wives who get along well with their in-laws, especially
parents, brothers, and sisters-in-law, are far less likely to have frictional relationships.
Whether fifty-year-olds feel frustrated or satisfied with the lives they have led depends on their self-
assessment. Their physical health, psychological well-being, feelings of sexual competence, family
status role in the community, job competence, security --- all contribute significantly to the way
individuals view their finite existence.
An individual’s feelings at middle age may also depend on gender. Because female menopause
occurs fairly early in the life cycle ( usually between the ages of forty-five and fifty ), and because it is
a decisive event, women may be more sensitive than men to lasting physical changes. Yet, for
mothers who have been charged with childrearing, middle-age is also the time children leave home:
this period thus provides an opportunity for fresh discoveries and new life experiences. Men do not
undergo the same definite physical changes, but neither do they ordinarily have the sudden
opportunity for change in their routines. Thus middle age for them may be a time of boredom, fatigue,
and occasional depression, as the chance for major changes in life slips away. Of course, such sex
differences in middle age may decline as more women join the labor force and as men come to lead
less conventional lives.
1. A dreaded age: Many unfavorable stereotypes and traditional beliefs concerning the mental and
physical deterioration that is believed to accompany the cessation of the reproductive life. While
dreading middle age, most adults become nostalgic about their younger years and that they could
turn back the hands of the clock.
2. A time of transition: The time when men and women leave behind the physical and behavioral
characteristics of adulthood and enter a period of life when new physical and behavioral
characteristics will prevail. It is said that that this is the time when men undergo a change in virility
and women a change in fertility. In addition to role changes in the home, men must adjust to the
changes that impending retirement and physical conditions necessitate in their work. For women,
the adjustments must be either to changing the role of housewife and mother for that of a worker
in business, industry, or one of the professions or of an “isolate” in a formerly busy home as the
“empty nest” period in home life sets in
“Where did we go wrong syndrome”: Occurs when children fail to come up to parental
expectations and the parents then question whether they have used the right methods of
child training, blaming themselves for their children’s failures to come up to their
expectations.
“ I hate to put mother there”: Many middle-aged parents, in trying to cope with the problems
of aging parents, feel guilty when they either cannot or do not want to have their aging
parents live in their homes.
Trying to deal with death: “HOW CAN I GO ON?”
3. A Time of Stress: Radical adjustments to changing roles and patterns of life, especially when
accompanied by physical changes, always tend to disrupt the individual’s physical and
psychological homeostasis and lead to a period of stress --- a time when a number of major
adjustments must be made in the home, business, and social aspects of their lives.
4. A Dangerous Age: It is a time when individuals break down physically as a result of overwork,
over worry, or careless living. The incidence of mental illness rises rapidly in middle age for
suicides, especially among men. The so-called “middle–age revolt” of men usually coincides with
the upsets in homeostasis caused by menopause in women.
5. An Awkward Age: As Franzblau has put it, the middle-aged person “stands between the younger
‘Rebel Generation’ and the ‘Senior Citizen Generation’ – both of which are continuously in the
spotlight and suffer from the discomforts and embarrassments associated with both age groups.
6. A Time Of Achievement: According to Erik Erikson, it is a crisis age in which either “generativity”
--- the tendency to stand still--- will dominate. According to Erikson, during middle age, people
either become more and more successful or stand still and accomplish nothing more. If middle-
aged people have a strong desire to succeed, they will reach their peak at this time and reap the
benefits of the years of preparation and hard work that preceded it. Normally, men reach their
peak between 40 and 50 years, after which they rest on their laurels and enjoy the benefits of their
hard-won successes until they reach the early sixties when they are regarded s “too old” and
usually must relinquish their jobs to younger and more vigorous workers. They claim to be the “
command generation.” According to Neugarten, “the successful middle-aged person often
describes himself as no longer ‘driven’ but as now the ‘driver’ --- in short, ‘in command.’
7. A time of evaluation: Archer has further pointed out, “The mid-years seem to require the
development of a different, generally more realistic sense of who one is… In growing up,
everyone nurtures fantasies or illusions about what one is, and what one will do. A major task of
the mid-life decade involves coming to terms with those fantasies and illusions.
8. The time of the empty nest: Unquestionably, the empty-nest period is more traumatic for women
than for men. This is especially true of women who have developed their adult years to
homemaking and who have devoted their adult years to homemaking and who have few interests
or resources to fill their time when their homemaking jobs lessen or come to an end. Many
experience a “retirement shock” similar to that experienced by men when they retire.
9. A time of boredom: Men become bored with the daily routine of work and with a family life that
offers little excitement. Women, who have spent most of their adulthood caring for the home and
raising children, wonder what they will do for the next twenty or thirty years. The unmarried
woman who has devoted her life to a job or career is bored for the same reasons men are. At no
age is boredom conducive to happiness or even contentment. Consequently, middle-age is often
one of the unhappy periods of life. In a study of pleasant and unpleasant memories over a span of
years, adults rated middle age, especially the years from 40 to 49, as the least pleasant. Only the
years after 60 did they find nearly as unpleasant.
Sarcopenialikely results from leg muscles become progressively detached from the central
nervous system; exercise encourages new nerve growth
Osteoporosis, the deterioration of bone mass, impacts both men and women
Autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis often begin in the 50s, affecting more
women than men
Changes in vision, more joint pain, and weight gain all occur in midlife
Presbyopia is when the lens of the eye gets larger but the eye loses the flexibility to adjust to
visual stimuli
The accumulation of fat in the abdomen is one of the common midlife complaints as metabolism
slows by about one-third
Hearing loss is experienced by about 14% of midlife adults, accumulating after years of exposure
to intense noise levels
Individuals with a healthy lifestyle or those who begin an exercise regimen in their 40s may enjoy
comparable benefits to those who began in their 20s
11.3 : Sexual Development during
Middle Adulthood
The changes in the sexual-reproductive system are more dramatic, more observable, and potentially
more troublesome than in any other body system. The impact of these changes is very much
dependent on the individual and some other related factors.
Decline in Functioning of the Sex Organs: After fifty, there is a gradual decline in gonadal activity,
although men in their seventies and eighties occasionally father children.
Decline in Sexual Desire: A decline in sexual desire parallels the decline in sex-organ
functioning. This is due partly to the decline in gonadal functioning and partly to psychological
causes, such as unfavorable marital relationships or business, economic, or family worries.
Decline in Masculine Appearance: With the decline in gonadal activity, the man loses some of
his typically masculine characteristics and takes on some that are more feminine. The voice, for
example, becomes somewhat higher in pitch, there is less hair on the face and the body becomes
slightly more rounded, especially the abdomen and hips.
Anxiety about Virility: The man whose appearance and behavior seem less masculine may
become concerned about his virility. This often leads to impotence.
Physical Discomforts: Many middle-aged men complain of depression, anxiety, irritability,
tingling sensations in their extremities, headaches, insomnia, digestive disturbances,
nervousness, flushes, fatigue, and many minor aches and pains. Some of these conditions are
real whereas others are imaginary.
Decline in Strength and Endurance: This decline is due in part to poor health and in part to
gonadal deficiency. Because of the high social value placed on strength and endurance, men may
feel they are losing their virility when the decline in these areas sets in.
Personality Changes: Concern about loss of virility causes some middle-aged men to behave
almost like the adolescent who is “sowing his wild oats,” This can be a dangerous period for men,
during which they may have extramarital affairs, engage in other behavior that leads to the
breakup of the family, or cease caring about their business responsibilities.
The theory maintains that as time horizons shrink, as they typically do with age, people become
increasingly selective, investing greater resources in emotionally meaningful goals and activities.
According to the theory, motivational shifts also influence cognitive processing. Aging is
associated with a relative preference for positive over negative information. This selective
narrowing of social interaction maximizes positive emotional experiences and minimizes
emotional risks as individuals become older. They systematically hone their social networks so
that available social partners satisfy their emotional needs.
This model emphasizes that setting goals and directing efforts towards a specific purpose is
beneficial to healthy aging. Optimization is about making the best use of the resources we have in
pursuing goals. Compensation is about using alternative strategies in attaining those goals.
Stages
Entering middle adulthood (45-50) Committing to new choices made and placing one’s energies into
these commitments
Unfavorable social attitudes: While older workers used to be respected for the skills they had
acquired through years of experience, today the tendency is to regard them as too old to learn
new skills or keep pace with modern demands, as uncooperative in their relations with coworkers,
and as subject to absenteeism and accidents because of failing health.
Hiring policies: Because of the widespread belief that maximum productivity can be achieved by
hiring and training younger workers and because employers want to spend the minimum amount
for retirement pensions, middle-aged workers have greater difficulty getting jobs than younger
ones, although this varies for different kinds of work. Thus changing jobs becomes increasingly
more hazardous with each passing year.
Increased use of automation: Automated work requires a higher level of intelligence, more
training, and greater speed than work that is not automated. This has an adverse effect on middle-
aged men and women of the lower level of intelligence, with training for specific lines of work only,
or whose health causes them to work more slowly than younger workers.
Compulsory retirement: With compulsory retirement now coming in the mid to late sixties, the
chances of promotion after fifty are slim, and the chances of getting a new job are even slimmer,
except at a lower level and with lower pay.
Stage 1: Marriage Childless The joining of a couple through a formal marriage is a big
Family step! This stage is sometimes referred to as the
"honeymoon phase" because of the happiness that most
couples tend to feel at this stage. There are typically no
children yet, so some of the biggest stressors on the
marriage are that of leaving the family they have always
known and getting to know each other as a new family unit.
Children ages It is important to note that only around 50% of children who
Stage 3: 2.5 to 6 are of preschool age attend preschool. Others stay home
Preschooler Family with a caregiver, parent, or another family member
(grandparents are popular choices for this option).
Stage 6: Launching Children begin At this stage, children are beginning to leave home.
Family. to leave home
Helping children to prepare to leave home can be a daunting
task for the family and individual. Parents need to prepare
their child to be autonomous and should allow their child
independence as the child is ready for it. Parents and
children both need to navigate their changing relationships
during this time.
Wife’S Attitudes:
Age Categories
Senescence, or biological aging, (senescence, can be traced back to Latin senex, meaning “old”)
o The Young Old—65 to 74: This group is less likely to require long-term care, to be
dependent or to be poor, and more likely to be married, working for pleasure rather than
income, and living independently- is less likely to experience heart disease, cancer, or stroke
than the old, but nearly as likely to experience depression.
o The Old Old—75 to 84: This age group is more likely to experience limitations on physical
activity due to chronic diseases such as arthritis, heart conditions, hypertension (especially for
women), and hearing or visual impairments. Rates of death due to heart disease, cancer, and
cerebral vascular disease are double that experienced by people 65-74.
o The Oldest Old—85 plus: This group is more likely to require long-term care and to be in
nursing homes.
o The Centenarians: People aged 100 or older, are both rare and distinct from the rest of the
older population. These “super-Centenarians” have led varied lives and probably do not give
us any single answer about living longer.
Developmental Task ( Havighurst-1952)
Primary Aging
Primary aging is the process by which cells irreversible stop dividing and enter a state of permanent
growth arrest without undergoing cell death. Primary aging refers to the inevitable changes
associated with aging to the skin and hair, height and weight, hearing, and eyes.
Skin and hair: skin becomes drier, thinner, and less elastic with scars and imperfections more
noticeable and hair graying and loss more prevalent.
Height and weight: older people are more than an inch shorter than during early adulthood and
often weigh less than in mid-life due to loss of bone density and muscle loss
Vision issues that arise impact the lens and optic nerve and make it harder to see in situations that
were previously unaffected
Hearing. Hearing loss is experienced by 30% of people age 70 and older with almost half of people
over 85 having some hearing loss
Conductive hearing loss: may occur because of age, genetic predisposition, or environment and
involves structural damage to the ear
Sensorineural hearing loss is due to a failure to transmit neural signals from the cochlea to the
brain and can be caused by prolonged exposure to loud noises
Temporal theory of pitch perception is the sound’s frequency coded by the activity level of a
sensory neuron
Presbycusis is age-related sensorineural hearing loss resulting from degeneration of the cochlea
or associated structures of the inner ear or auditory nerves
Ménière’s disease results in a degeneration of inner ear structures that can lead to hearing loss,
tinnitus (constant ringing or buzzing), vertigo (a sense of spinning), and increased pressure
Cochlear implants, a treatment option for Ménière’s disease, are electronic devices that receive
incoming sound information and stimulates the auditory nerve to transmit the information to the
brain
People may use elderspeak or patronizing form of speech when talking with older adults
Secondary Aging
Refers to changes that are caused by illness or disease. These illnesses reduce independence,
impact the quality of life, affect family members and other caregivers, and bring financial burden.
Heart disease is the leading cause of death from chronic disease for adults older than 65 with a
variety of underlying mechanisms and about 90% preventable when improving risk factors.
Age is one of the most important risk factors for developing cancer with prostate and lung cancer
common in men and breast and lung cancer common in women. Older adults with cancer have
different needs than younger adults.
Hypertension, high blood pressure, and associated heart disease and circulatory conditions,
increase with age.
Stroke is a leading cause of death and severe long-term disability.
Arthritis is used to mean any disorder that affects joints. There are over 100 types of arthritis with
the most common forms being osteoarthritis (degenerative joint disease) and rheumatoid arthritis.
Type 2 diabetes (T2D) is characterized by high blood sugar, insulin resistance, and relative lack of
insulin. T2D primarily occurs as a result of obesity and lack of exercise with lifestyle a major
factor.
Osteoporosis is a disease in which bone weakening increases the risk of a broken bone and
becomes more common with age.
Parkinson’s disease (PD) is a long-term degenerative disorder of the central nervous system
mainly affecting the motor system. Causes of Parkinson’s disease are generally unknown, but
both genetic and environmental factors are thought to be involved
The ACTIVE study found to support that the brain can be trained to build a cognitive reserve to
reduce the effects of normal aging
Older adults generally have greater emotional wisdom or the ability to emphasize with and
understand others
Older adults do not generally show impairment on tasks that test sustained attention
Problem-solving tasks that require processing non-meaningful information quickly also decline
with age
Dementia, severely impaired judgment, memory, or problem-solving ability can occur before old
age and is not inevitable
Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia and is incurable while other
nonorganic causes of dementia can be prevented
Delirium (acute confused state) is an organically caused decline from a previous baseline
functioning that develops over a short time period and can involve other neurological deficits
Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease causing problems with memory, thinking, and behavior and
will develop slowly and worsen over time
Common symptoms include emotional problems, difficulties with language, and a decrease in
motivation
Alzheimer’s is not a normal part of aging and the cause is poorly understood
12.4: Sexual Development during Late
Adulthood
It has been suggested that active sex life can increase longevity among the elderly. Dr. Maggie Syme
found in her research on sexuality in old age that, “Having a sexual partnership, with frequent sexual
expression, having a good quality sex life, and being interested in sex have been found to be
positively associated with health among middle-aged and older adults.”
There are a number of associated health benefits with practicing positive sexual health. Positive
sexual health often acts as a de-stressor promoting increased relaxation. Researchers also report
health benefits such as decreased pain sensitivity, improved cardiovascular health, lower levels of
depression, increased self-esteem, and better relationship satisfaction. This could also imply that
there are negative consequences of poor sexual health or lack of sexual activity, including
depression, low self-esteem, increased frustration, and loneliness.
The pattern of earlier sexual behavior: People who derived enjoyment from sexual behavior
and were sexually active during the earliest years of their marriage continue to be sexually more
active in old age than those who were less active earlier.
Compatibility of spouses: Where there is a close bond between husband and wife built on
mutual interests and respect, the desire for intercourse is much stronger than when a frictional
relationship exists.
Social attitudes: Unfavorable social attitudes toward sex in old age make many elderly men and
women feel that interest in sexual matters not only is ‘not nice’ but may even be perverted.
Marital status: Married people are likely to continue sexual activity into old age. Those who are
single or divorced or whose spouses have died usually do not have a strong enough sex drive to
make them seek new sex partners.
Preoccupation with outside problems: When either or both spouses are preoccupied with
financial, family, or other problems, it tends to weaken sexual desire. If they eat or drink
excessively in order to escape from these problems, their sexual desires are further weakened.
Overfamiliarity: Being together too much over a long period of time tends to deaden a couple’s
sexual desire in old age.
Impotence: Many men who find themselves impotent on one occasion, regardless of the
condition that gave rise to it, withdraw from further sexual activity to avoid the ego-shattering
experience of repeated episodes of sexual inadequacy.
Masturbation: There is evidence that masturbation is widely practiced by elderly men and women
who have few if any other sexual outlets, particularly those who are becoming senile.
Erotic dreams and daydreams: Erotic dreams and daydreams are a common substitute source
of sexual satisfaction among elderly women who are widowed or divorced and also among those
who are married but whose husbands are unable, because of falling health or impotence, to
engage in sexual activities. This substitute source of sexual satisfaction is more common in
women than in men.
Thinking about sex: Many elderly men who are sexually deprived not only think about sex but
talk about it with their contemporaries. In addition, they like to look at pornographic pictures and
tell off-color jokes. Elderly women seldom engage in this form of substitute satisfaction.
Sexual recrudescence: Elderly men may be sexually attracted to young girls or women, and
some may want to marry girls young enough to be their granddaughters. Occasionally they may
rape children or adults. Older women may play with dolls, assume a mothering role with someone
else’s child, or become infatuated with men young enough to be their grandsons.
Adulthood
Erikson: Integrity vs. Despair
According to Erikson, as a person grows older and enters into the retirement years, the pace of life
and productivity tend to slow down, granting a person time for reflection upon their life. They may ask
the existential question, “It is okay to have been me?” If someone sees themselves as having lived a
successful life, they may see it as one filled with productivity. Here integrity is said to consist of the
ability to look back on one’s life with a feeling of satisfaction, peace, and gratitude for all that has
been given and received. Thus, persons derive a sense of meaning (i.e., integrity) through careful
review of how their lives have been lived. Ideally, however, integrity does not stop here but rather
continues to evolve into the virtue of wisdom. If a person sees their life as unproductive, or feels that
they did not accomplish their life goals, they may become dissatisfied with life and develop despair,
often leading to depression and hopelessness.
Ego differentiation versus Work Role Preoccupation: The older adult adjusts to retirement and
enjoys leisure activities that they were unable to partake in while they were gainfully employed.
Ego Transcendence versus Ego Preoccupation: The individual accepts their own mortality
without fear.
Body Transcendence versus Body Preoccupation: The aging person maintains a sense of
well-being, happiness, and satisfaction despite the physical declines associated with the aging
process.
1. As early as in late middle age, an individual’s social sphere becomes increasingly narrow.
2. Individuals anticipate these changes and accept their participation in this “narrowing.”
3. As individuals become less role-centered, their style of interaction changes from being active or
dynamic to a less dynamic or a passive one.
4. Due to the change in their style of interaction, older people are less likely to be taken for new
roles.
Continuity Theory
Old age makes people neither more nor less engaged in life than they were; rather, older people are
essentially the same in their approach to living as they were when they were younger. According to
this theory, basic personality characteristics, whether genetic or the result of experiences, remain
stable with time.
Discontinuity Theory
The discontinuity can be caused by occurrences that may alter cognitive and behavioral patterns.
This theory explains that in late adulthood, life events such as retirement, change of residence, failing
health, and death of a spouse may cause substantial discontinuity in personality and behavior.
Diversity Theory
This theory explains that the patterns of psychosocial development in late adulthood are at least as
varied as in earlier periods. It is believed by gerontologists that variability and diversity increase with
age; so, by late adulthood, the multiplicity of patterns and personalities is greater than at any other
age.
Personality Typology
Gerontological research ( the study of old age ) focuses in particular on the coping mechanisms that
people use to adjust to their changing circumstances, and then to describe this behavior in terms of
personality types. The assumption made by the personality typology theorists is that during our early
life stages, we develop certain behavioral patterns in order to cope with the challenges and changes
with which we are confronted. These coping styles gradually develop into specific personality types. A
person’s personality type then serves as a prediction mechanism of the way in which he or she will
act in a specific situation. These theorists maintain that it is more important to know how people have
coped with challenges in the past than to have knowledge of the specific situation with which they are
confronted in the present.
In an early study, Reichard, Livson, and Petersen (1962 ) investigated the personality types of men
who could adjust successfully and those who adjusted unsuccessfully to retirement and aging. They
identified five personality types:
The mature type: these men evaluate themselves realistically, are accepting, and do not show
significant conflict. They accept the aging process and experience their lives in general as
satisfactory.
The rocking chair type: these men are passive, are satisfied to be free of responsibilities, and
are happy to leave activities to others.
The armored type: these men develop certain defense mechanisms such as denial and
projection to protect themselves from the fear of aging. They also try to remain active.
The angry type: these men do not adjust well to retirement. They usually feel embittered, since
they believe that they have not reached their goals. They tend to act aggressively and accusingly
towards others
The self-hate type: these men also struggle to adjust to retirement and feel that they have failed.
However, they are inclined to turn their anger towards themselves and blame themselves.
High
Disengaged
PASSIVE
DEPENDENT Low level of activity; passive
spectator of life
Apathetic Low to moderate
Grandparenting
It has become increasingly common for grandparents to live with and raise their grandchildren, or
also to move back in with adult children in their later years. Grandparenting typically begins in midlife
rather than late adulthood, but because people are living longer, they can anticipate being
grandparents for longer periods of time.
Remote: These grandparents rarely see their grandchildren. Usually, they live far away from their
grandchildren but may also have a distant relationship. Contact is typically made on special
occasions such as holidays or birthdays.
Companionate Grandparents: These grandparents do things with the grandchild but have little
authority or control over them. They prefer to spend time with them without interfering in
parenting. They are more like friends to their grandchildren.
Involved Grandparents: These grandparents take a very active role in their grandchild’s life. The
grandchildren might even live with the grandparent. The involved grandparent is one who has
frequent contact with and authority over the grandchild.
12.7: Retirement
Retirement is the withdrawal from one's position or occupation or from one's active working life. A
person may also semi-retire by reducing work hours or workload. Many people choose to retire when
they are old or incapable of doing their job. People may also retire when they are eligible for private or
public pension benefits, although some are forced to retire when bodily conditions no longer allow the
person to work any longer (by illness or accident) or as a result of legislation concerning their
position.
In the near-retirement phase, employees become increasingly aware that they are approaching
retirement and that adjustments are necessary to establish a successful transition. Some can
experience either positive or negative feelings about this, while others experience ambivalent
feelings. In this phase, good planning is necessary to facilitate the adjustment.
Health: Retirees do not experience a decline in health because of retirement. More often,
individuals retire because of ill health.
Activity: Retirees’ patterns of activity do not necessarily decrease. Persons who followed an
active lifestyle previously tend to maintain an active lifestyle after retirement ( e.g. by doing
volunteer work)
Social and leisure activities: Retirees’ social and leisure time activities also do not change
dramatically. In fact, retirement has no significant influence on the individual’s social network,
frequency of social interaction, and social support. (Only those who had no social support outside
the work situation could be negatively affected)
Stage 3: Revised stage- was a time of adapting to the choices made in the previous stage. The
participants generally maintained their independence and control over their lives. Many continued
with the same kinds of activities. Some affiliated with other adults for socialization, and for some,
organizational membership was a way to achieve their goals. Lifestyle changes were highly
individualized, and some individuals adapt to changes positively.
Stage 4: A later transition - resulted primarily from loss of health and mobility, and the necessity of
establishing new goals and activities. Some participants made the transition from greater
independence to dependence voluntarily by applying for entry into a retirement community while they
were still alive, but most made the transition as a result of disabling events. The loss of independent
living was triggered by disabilities, illnesses, and accidents, as well as the death of a spouse, a
relative’s relocation, or the loss of a caregiver.
Stage 5: A final period- was a time of stability and included revised goals and activities implemented
within a context of limited mobility. Some of the participants enjoyed positive new activities and
growth in settings that included nursing homes, although they also experienced resignation and
loneliness. The participants generally described their movement as sequential through the periods,
although there were expectations when a spouse had died before completing all periods or a
participant had experienced a disabling illness before or during the first period and gone directly into
the later transition period. The experience of returning to earlier stages occurred among subjects who
remarried. For those who experienced Fisher’s framework sequentially, the periods, beginning with
retirement and ending with death, differed in length. For women who had experienced little or no
employment outside their home, retirement was an elusive concept.
· Strong and varied interests · Little interest in the world of today or the
individual’s role in it
· Economic independence, which makes
independence in living possible · Withdrawal into the world of fantasy
· Many social contacts with people of all ages, not · Constant reminiscing
just the elderly
· Constant worry, encouraged by idleness
· The employment of work which is pleasant and
useful but not overtaxing · A lack of drive, leading to low productivity in all
areas
· Participation in community organizations
· The attitude that the only activities available are
· The ability to maintain a comfortable home ‘make-work’ activities and, therefore, a ‘waste of
without exerting too much physical effort time’
· The ability to enjoy present activities without · Loneliness due to poor family relationships and
regretting the past lack of interest in contemporaries
· A minimum of worry about self or others · Involuntary geographic isolation
· Enjoyment of day-to-day activities regardless of · Involuntary residence in an institution or with a
how repetitious they may be grown child
· Avoidance of fault-finding especially about living · Constant complaining and criticizing of anything
conditions and treatment from others. and everything
· Refusal to take part in activities for the elderly on
the grounds that they are ‘boring’
The worst thing about death is the fact that when a man is
dead it’s impossible any longer to undo the harm you have you
have done him or to do the good you haven’t done him. They
say: live in such a way as to be always ready to die. I would
say: live in such a way that anyone can die without you having
anything to regret.
- Leo Tolstoy (1865/1978)
Have you ever heard the advice, “Live each day as if it were going to be your last?” The point is to
appreciate every moment, but the advice would be terrible if you took it seriously. If you really
believed you would die today, you certainly wouldn’t plan for the future. You wouldn’t save money or
worry about the long-term health consequences of what you ate or drank.
Just thinking about the fact of eventual death evokes distress, and to go with life effectively, we try to
shield ourselves from thinking too much about dying. According to terror management theory, we
cope with our fear of death by avoiding thoughts about death and by affirming a worldview that
provides self-esteem, hope, and value in life. When something reminds you of your mortality, you do
whatever you can to reduce your anxiety. You reassure yourself that you still have many years to live.
“My health is good, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink too much, and I’m not overweight.” If that isn’t true,
you tell yourself that you plan to start to quit smoking, you are going to cut down on your drinking, and
any day now you are going to start losing weight. You also think about the good job you have ( or
hope to have), the high salary you earn (or expect to earn), and the exciting things you will do during
the rest of your life.
Still, even excellent health merely postpones death, so a reminder of death redoubles your efforts to
defend a belief that life is important. You reaffirm your religious beliefs, your patriotism, or other views
that help you make sense of life and find meaning in it. You become more dutiful than usual in
upholding the customs of your society. You also take pride in how you have contributed to your
family, your profession, or something else that will continue after you are gone. Up to a point, these
affirmations are good, although it is also true that people who are reminded of their own mortality
sometimes become hostile to those who disagree with or challenge their beliefs.
The advances in modern medicine have raised new ethical issues with regard to dying. We can now
keep people alive long after they have lost most of their physical and mental capacities. Should we? If
someone is bedridden and in pain, with little hope of recovery, is it acceptable to help the person
hasten death? A growing number of people have to face these difficult decisions for themselves and
their family members.
Proximity to death is often associated with a need to put life into context, to complete life tasks that
remain possible, and to resolve difficulties in order to gain a sense of fulfillment and a feeling of
having made a contribution to the lives of others. As Erikson described it, the final stage of life can be
described as a period of ‘integrity versus despair’, in which people look back on their lives and
consider whether it was well-ordered and meaningful (resulting in feelings of integrity) or unproductive
and meaningless (resulting in despair). For those who have concerns about the events of their lives, it
may be a time of reconciliation and attempts at making life more meaningful. A failure to express
forgiveness, where appropriate, was associated with more depressive symptoms, as were unresolved
differences between individuals.
Close proximity to death may also trigger an exploration of personal grounds for faith. Not
surprisingly, levels of depression can be high in the weeks and months before death among people
who know they are going to die.
Social death begins earlier than physiological death and occurs when others begin to withdraw from
someone who is terminally ill or has a terminal illness diagnosis
Doctors, as well as family members and friends, may spend less time with patients after their
prognosis becomes poor and
People in nursing homes may live as socially dead for years with no one visiting or calling
Psychological death occurs when the dying person begins to accept death and withdraw from
others and regress into the self
This can take before physiological death and may even bring it closer as people give up their will
to live
Interventions based on the idea of self-empowerment for terminally ill individuals has been
associated with a perceived ability to manage and control things resulting in better mental health
The death of a child can take the form of a loss in infancy such as miscarriage or stillbirth or
neonatal death, SIDS, or the death of an older child. In most cases, parents find the grief almost
unbearably devastating, and it tends to hold greater risk factors than any other loss. This loss also
bears a lifelong process: one does not get ‘over’ the death but instead must assimilate and live
with it. Intervention and comforting support can make all the difference to the survival of a parent
in this type of grief but the risk factors are great and may include family breakup or suicide.
Feelings of guilt, whether legitimate or not, are pervasive, and the dependent nature of the
relationship disposes parents to a variety of problems as they seek to cope with this great loss.
Parents who suffer miscarriage or a regretful or coerced abortion may experience resentment
towards others who experience successful pregnancies.
Suicide. When a parent loses their child through suicide it is traumatic, sudden, and affects all
loved ones impacted by this child. Suicide leaves many unanswered questions and leaves most
parents feeling hurt, angry, and deeply saddened by such a loss. Parents may feel they can’t
openly discuss their grief and feel their emotions because of how their child died and how the
people around them may perceive the situation. Parents, family members, and service providers
have all confirmed the unique nature of suicide-related bereavement following the loss of a child.
They report a wall of silence that goes up to around them and how people interact with them. One
of the best ways to grieve and move on from this type of loss is to find ways to keep that child as
an active part of their lives. It might be privately at first but as parents move away from the silence
they can move into a more proactive healing time.
The death of a spouse is usually a particularly powerful loss. A spouse often becomes part of
the other in a unique way: many widows and widowers describe losing ‘half’ of themselves. The
days, months, and years after the loss of a spouse will never be the same, and learning to live
without them may be harder than one would expect. The grief experience is unique to each
person. Sharing and building a life with another human being, then learning to live singularly, can
be an adjustment that is more complex than a person could ever expect. Depression and
loneliness are very common. Feeling bitter and resentful are normal feelings for the spouse who is
“left behind”. Oftentimes, the widow/widower may feel it necessary to seek professional help in
dealing with their new life.
Death of a parent. For a child, the death of a parent, without support to manage the effects of the
grief, may result in long-term psychological harm. This is more likely if the adult carers are
struggling with their own grief and are psychologically unavailable to the child. There is a critical
role of the surviving parent or caregiver in helping the children adapt to a parent’s death. Studies
have shown that losing a parent at a young age did not just lead to negative outcomes; there are
some positive effects. Some children had an increased maturity, better coping skills, and
improved communication. Adolescents valued other people more than those who have not
experienced such a close loss.
When an adult child loses a parent in later adulthood, it is considered to be “timely” and to be a
normative life course event. This allows the adult children to feel a permitted level of grief.
However, research shows that the death of a parent in an adult’s midlife is not a normative event
by any measure, but is a major life transition causing an evaluation of one’s own life or mortality.
Others may shut out friends and family in processing the loss of someone with whom they have
had the longest relationship.
Death of a sibling. The loss of a sibling can be a devastating life event. Despite this, sibling grief
is often the most disenfranchised or overlooked of the four main forms of grief, especially with
regard to adult siblings. Grieving siblings are often referred to as the ‘forgotten mourners’ who are
made to feel as if their grief is not as severe as their parent's grief. However, the sibling
relationship tends to be the longest significant relationship of the lifespan, and siblings who have
been part of each other’s lives since birth, such as twins, help form and sustain each other’s
identities; with the death of one sibling comes the loss of that part of the survivor’s identity
because “your identity is based on having them there.” The sibling relationship is a unique one, as
they share a special bond and a common history from birth, have a certain role and place in the
family, often complement each other, and share genetic traits. Siblings who enjoy a close
relationship participate in each other’s daily lives and special events, confide in each other, share
joys, spend leisure time together (whether they are children or adults), and have a relationship
that not only exists in the present but often looks toward a future together (even into retirement).
Surviving siblings lose this “companionship and a future” with their deceased siblings.
13.5: Grief
Grief is the psychological, physical, and emotional experience and reaction to loss. Grief reactions
vary depending on whether a loss was anticipated( when a death is expected and survivors have time
to prepare to some extent before the loss) or unexpected and whether it occurred suddenly or after a
long illness. Struggling with the question of responsibility and what if is particularly felt by those who
lose a loved one to suicide. Complicated grief involves a distinct set of maladaptive or self-defeating
thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that occur as a negative response to a loss. Disenfranchised grief
may be experienced by those who have to hide the circumstances of their loss or whose grief goes
unrecognized
It has been said that intense grief lasts about two years or less but grief is throughout life. Layers of
grief include an initial denial marked by shock and disbelief and anger towards those who could not
save the person’s life or that life did not turn out as expected. Grief and mixed emotions go hand in
hand with normal contradictions arising throughout our grieving. We are often asked to grieve
privately, quickly, and to medicate our suffering. The fading affect bias suggests that negative events
tend to lose their emotional intensity at a faster rate than pleasant events.
Bereavement is the outward expression of grief and mourning and funeral rites are expressions of
loss reflecting personal and cultural beliefs Culture does not provide set rules for how death is viewed
and experienced. Regardless of variations in conceptions and attitudes toward death, ceremonies
provide survivors a sense of closure after a loss. In most cultures, after the last offices have been
performed and before the onset of decay, relations or friends arrange for ritual disposition of the
body. There are various methods of destroying human remains, depending on religious or spiritual
beliefs and practical necessity
Regardless of variations in conceptions and attitudes toward death, ceremonies provide survivors a
sense of closure after a loss. These rites and ceremonies send the message that death is real and
allow friends and loved ones to express their love and duty to those who die. Under circumstances in
which a person has been lost and presumed dead or when family members were unable to attend a
funeral, there can continue to be a lack of closure that makes it difficult to grieve and to learn to live
with loss. And although many people are still in shock when they attend funerals, the ceremony still
provides a marker of the beginning of a new period of one’s life as a survivor.
Models on Grief
Stages of Loss by Kübler-Ross
Kübler-Ross described five stages of loss experienced by someone facing the news of their
impending death that provide a framework (not a linear progression) for understanding the
psychological experience of an impending death
o Denial is often the first reaction to overwhelming, unimaginable news and protects us by
allowing the news to enter slowly
o Anger provides us with protection by energizing us to fight against something and providing
structure to an unknown situation
o Bargaining involves trying to think of what could be done to turn the situation around
o Depression involves feeling the full weight of loss and is an important part of the process of
dying
o Acceptance involves learning how to carry on and incorporate this aspect of the life span into
daily existence