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Competing
(High Assertiveness and Low Cooperativeness) – Involves
standing one’s ground, focusing on winning an argument/debate, etc.
Collaborative (High Assertiveness and Cooperativeness) – Involves
working with others to find solutions that will result in a win-win situation
Compromising (Moderate Assertiveness and Cooperativeness) –
Involves working with others to find middle ground and settling on an agreement regarding the solution
Avoiding (Low Assertiveness and Cooperativeness) – Involves choosing
not to engage in conflict
Accommodating (Low Assertiveness and High Cooperativeness) –
Involves a level of self-sacrifice by giving in, placating, etc.
Everyone has the capacity to use each of the five modes; however, in my experience, most tend to primarily use one to three modes consistently.
Coaching helps clients break unresourceful patterns of behaviors and adapt
new, effective ones. That can be accomplished through awareness of one’s preferred TKI conflict handling mode(s)—as well as the remaining modes not typically accessed. Coaching often focuses on developing the capacity to slow down, assess the situation at hand and mindfully choose which TKI mode would likely be the most effective in the situation. This results in shifting to an empowered response versus knee-jerk reaction.
Whether in an individual or group setting, coaching can help clients explore
when using each of the five modes may, or may not be, effective in conflict situations. From basic coaching questions, clients discover the following, drawing on their work-life examples.