INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH EXAMPLES: Definition essay

HOOKS: in yellow
HOOK ELABORATIONS: in red
THESIS STATEMENTS: in blue
SUBTOPICS FOR THE WRITING TEST ONLY: in green
Imagine if you were in a world full of What would you do in a world without heroes?
villains without superheroes. Life would Without heroes, we would not know who to
be out of control. There would be no trust. However, in my mind, a hero is someone
order. However, in my mind a true who is trustworthy, believable, and reliable.
hero is one who you can depend on to This idea of a true hero can be seen through
do the right thing and be a strong role my personal experiences, observations and
model. This idea of a true hero can be readings. (question lead)
seen through my personal experiences,
observations and readings. (imagine
lead)
In comic books, heroes save people and Some would say it is better to be a true hero
stop crimes. However, in real life, our rather than just look (act) like one. True. One
heroes do not wear spandex and flashy needs to walk the walk in order to talk the
capes or carry cool gadgets. They are talk. We see heroes in everyday life. A hero is
ordinary people living ordinary lives. someone who is a role model, someone with
Instead, a true hero is one who will not good character, and a positive person that
mislead you or let you down. This idea others admire and imitate their actions. In
of a true hero can be seen through my other words, heroes are people with good
personal experiences, observations character, strong role models, and people with
and readings. positive outlooks.
(situation lead) (quote lead)
Superman, Batman, Cat woman, the
Green Lantern, and even the Hulk are
“ Aspire rather to be a hero than merely appear

all superheroes in today’s life. They all as one,” said Baltasar Gracian. They do not all
had a positive effect on others. They wear capes or fly. All heroes do not want to be
were heroes in costumes, but in famous for their daring acts. Some, however,
normal life who are the heroes? My do not look like a hero as many would imagine
definition of a hero is a role model to heroes. My definition of a hero is someone
the people of the community… a who contributes much to the lives of others,
family member or even a sports star. puts others ahead of himself, and gives
This idea of a true hero can be seen without expecting anything in return. This idea
through my personal experiences, of a true hero can be seen through my
observations and readings. personal experiences, observations and
(list lead) readings.
(quote lead)
Intro Paragraphs &
Thesis Statements
An Academic Writing Workshop

Compiled by the
Academic Support Center
& the
Library Resources
Division
About this Workshop Series
Strong academic writing does not typically
develop “naturally”; rather, it is an acquired skill
that all college students must learn. Even the
most skillful writers will have room for
improvement. This workshop series thus aims to
break down the writing process into key focus
areas for improvement. By following these tips
and techniques, you can become a more effective
writer, whatever your level.
Approaching Writing
First, we must recognize academic writing as a
Process. Strong essays cannot be written
overnight! Be sure to schedule in time for:
• Pre-writing – brainstorm words or phrases, free
write for 5 minutes, create a thought cluster, etc.
• Planning – create a thesis, assemble evidence,
create an outline
• Practice – draft, edit, & repeat!
Outlining: a Critical Blueprint
Strong academic writing has a clear structure. Start by
drafting an outline to help you stay on track.
Sample Outline:
 Intro Paragraph
 Hook
 Context
 Thesis
 Body Paragraph (repeat as needed)
 Topic Sentence
 Concrete Detail
 Analysis
 Transition Sentence No architect would construct a
 Conclusion building without a detailed floor plan;
 Summary why would anyone attempt to write
 Significance an essay without an outline?
An Intro to Intro Paragraphs
The Intro Paragraph is the most important part
of your essay. It should give the reader a concise
overview of everything that is to follow, the way
a film preview does for a movie.
Choosing a Topic
Avoid writing on a topic that is…
 Too broad…it will make it harder to focus your
writing, rather than give you more to work with
 Too personal…it will not be academic in nature if
it’s all based on personal experience or opinion
 Too skimpy in evidence…you can argue whatever
you want, as long as there is supporting evidence!
 Too factual…it’s difficult to make an argument out
of something that is entirely factual. There’s no
wiggle room!
Elements of an Intro Paragraph
A strong introductory paragraph sets the
stage for the essay by providing:
• a hook to lure the reader in
• context to explain what book, text, or theory
will be used to further discuss this topic
• and a thesis to make your argument
Using a Hook
The hook grabs the reader’s interest by
introducing a topic. Be careful not to make
this statement too broad or too specific
Too Broad:
Some things in life seem destined to happen,
regardless of what we do to try to stop them.
Too Specific:
In Romeo and Juliet, the lovers are doomed from the
start, and sure enough, end up dying by the play’s end.
Just Right:
Many of Shakespeare’s tragedies illustrate the concept
that individual will is no match for pre-ordained fate.
Elements of an Intro Paragraph
Definition of Context:
The context guides our discussion of our topic by
situating us within a particular text, historical time,
or theoretical frame. We move from a broader topic
to a specific context.

Example:
Romeo and Juliet is a classic Shakespearean
tragedy in this sense. In it, the young lovers
struggle to overcome many barriers in order to be
together.
Drafting a Thesis Statement
The thesis makes a claim about your topic or
text, lays out key evidence to support this
claim, and explains the significance of this

Identifying thesis elements:

 Claim: WHAT are you saying about the book?
 Evidence: HOW do you know this?
 Significance: WHY does this matter?
 Let’s try it!
 Claim:
The play reinforces the idea that individuals are
powerless to change their fates
 Evidence:
The chorus uses foreshadowing, Romeo and Juliet
are characterized as young and naïve, their final
deaths are caused by situational irony
 Significance:
The course of our lives cannot be changed by hard
work or wily, we must accept our destinies.
Drafting the Thesis Statement
When in doubt, use the magic sentence.

“Through (EVIDENCE), the book reveals that

(CLAIM); thus, the book shows us that
(SIGNIFICANCE).
 Ta Da!
Through the foreshadowing element of the
chorus, the characterization of Romeo and
Juliet as young and naïve, and the situational
irony of the final scene, the play reinforces the
idea that individuals are powerless to change
their fates. Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet
thus serves as a reminder that the course of
fate cannot be altered by hard work or
cunning; we must accept our fate as is.
 Want more on this topic?
Ready to work on your thesis
with a writing tutor?
Contact the Academic Support Center at:
Building 32, Suite B-103
asc@udc.edu
202-274-5938

Thank you!
 Introductory Paragraphs
GENERAL FORMAT FOR SINGLE-PARAGRAPH INTRODUCTIONS
If you are unsure of how to organize your introductory paragraph, this is a good format to
follow:
1. Hook (be creative in capturing your audience's attention)
2. Background Information (or statements that connect the hook to the thesis)
3. Thesis. In most papers you write in college, readers will assume that the thesis is the last
sentence in the introductory paragraph, so try not to hide your thesis somewhere else.

EXAMPLES OF DIFFERENT HOOKS

Personal Anecdote/Story:
Starting a paper with an interesting story (whether it is your own or someone else's that
you researched) can be a fun and creative way to start a paper, as well as effective in
getting your audience to care about your topic.
Topic: Argue for universal healthcare
Hook: Begin with a true story about someone who finds out they have cancer but
cannot afford healthcare or the costs of treatment.
Ask Question(s):
If you use this method, make sure you either ask questions to get the audience to think
about a specific topic, or ask questions that you later answer.
Is it true that bigger is always better? Could it be that society's insatiable desire
for more is, in many ways, giving people less? Once society has accepted the
premise that more choice is better, is it possible to reverse that trend? For small,
local, family-owned businesses, more and bigger has been anything but better.
("Romeo and Juliet Hook Strategies." Windsor High School. Web.http://www .windsorhs.com).
Quotation or Paraphrase:
If you are going to begin with a quotation of some sort, make sure it strongly relates to
your argument. Don’t use a quotation if you could say the same thing with fewer words
or in a more interesting way by summarizing.
A recent article in Time magazine states that the viewing of extremely violent
television shows is the number one cause of violence in our inner cities.
Unusual Fact or Statement:
Avoid broad or bland statements. Instead, it can be effective to begin with an unusual
fact to get the audience to think about something in a different way.
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft, could spend one million dollars per day, every
day, seven days a week and would not run out of money until he was 311 years
old!
(“Romeo and Juliet Hook Strategies." Windsor High School. Web.<http://www.windsorhs.com>)

Adapted from Washington State University 2016

WHAT TO AVOID
• Very general, broad, or vague statements. It is okay to be specific and direct in the
introduction; it actually makes your paper more interesting. Make sure your introduction
doesn't just loosely relate to your topic, but strongly relates to and introduces your thesis.
• Overused statements: "In today's society..." "Since the beginning of time ..."
• First-person statements (unless specifically requested by your instructor): "In this paper I
will..." "My paper will address..."

ORGANIZING THE WHOLE PARAGRAPH

It can help to think of an introduction as a funnel, or the top of an hourglass. Start off with a
broader idea in the hook and background information, then narrow your focus to your thesis:

The hook grabs the reader’s attention (see examples)

Background information provides context.

Introduce your specific topic

State your thesis.

Structuring your introduction this way, you might come up with something like this:

Hook: Is it true that bigger is always better? Could it be that society's insatiable
desire for more is, in many ways, giving people less? Once society has accepted
the premise that more choice is better, is it possible to reverse that trend? For
small, local, family-owned businesses, more and bigger has been anything but
better.
Background: While economic policies are often revised with big businesses in
mind, smaller companies have difficulty making their voices heard. But these
small businesses do have a large impact on their local economies.
Specific topic: When big chain stores like Walmart come into communities like
Green Hill, Oregon, they force out local family owned businesses such as the
Verner Brothers’ Grocery.
Thesis: The case study of Verner Brothers’ Grocery and its struggle to avoid
bankruptcy after trying to keep up with the bigger chain stores demonstrates the
extent to which the “bigger is better” mindset can upset local economies.

Adapted from Washington State University 2016

 The Introductory Paragraph
Writing the introductory paragraph is often one of the trickiest parts of writing an essay. One reason for
this difficulty is that writers have several jobs to do in the introduction: grab the reader’s attention,
introduce the topic and bring the reader into the conversation, and state the thesis. Although there is
no set formula for writing a successful introduction, here are some suggestions to consider.

1. Grab the Reader’s Attention

Here are some techniques to get the paper started. Remember, use a technique that is ACTUALLY
interesting and not overused or cliché.
• Begin with a statistic
• Cite a relevant quotation
• Relate a personal anecdote
• Begin with a dramatic narrative
• Pose a provocative question
• Give an amazing or unusual fact
• Offer a bold opinion
• Use dialogue
• Start off by defining the problem
*PLEASE NOTE: Defining a term is not listed above. If a definition is used to start a paper, it must be
interesting. Giving a dictionary definition does not usually interest the audience in reading further.

2. Introduce the Topic and Bring the Reader into the Conversation
This section is the “guts” of an introduction. Here the writer will introduce the specifics about the topic
of the essay. Often times, writers will vaguely or loosely discuss related ideas to their topic; avoid this
when possible. For example, when writing a paper about Romeo and Juliet, specific information should
be given about the play that pertains to the particular topic of the essay and also the discussion going
on about the particular take on the topic. DO NOT summarize what love is!

3. State the Thesis

The thesis statement sums up the paper’s main idea in one or two sentences. It is recommended to
write a preliminary thesis statement, which is an early version of the final thesis, to use as guide for the
first draft. After writing the first two parts of an introduction, a writer may build on his preliminary thesis
statement and use it as a final thesis statement. Remember that a thesis should be specific and should
state the essay’s topic as well as the opinion of the topic. For example, the thesis of a paper on Romeo
and Juliet might sound like this: The actions of the protagonists in Romeo and Juliet reflect the two
reoccurring themes love and sacrifice.

Mt. SAC Writing Center

http://www.mtsac.edu/writingcenter/
Building 26B, Room 1561 (909) 274-5325
 English 255    Instructor Geneffa Jonker 

Introductory Paragraphs
Many people feel that the introductory paragraph of an essay, (also known as the
Introduction), is the most important paragraph of all. Certainly, it lets the reader know
what to expect in terms of tone, style, purpose and theme. It’s your essay’s first
impression—and you only get to make a first impression once!
Have you ever had a long conversation with someone where you become
increasingly frustrated because the other person doesn’t seem to have a POINT? You
might even say, “Get to the point, man!” or “What are you trying to say?” An essay
without an introduction feels the same way to a reader. An introductory paragraph
prepares the reader for the rest of the essay by stating its overall theme or point.
An introductory paragraph has a slightly different structure from a P.I.E.
paragraph. (P.I.E. paragraphs make up the body of the essay). To remember a general
format for your introduction, think of the word: H.I.T.

H = Hook (the opening sentence that attracts the reader’s attention)

I = Information (general information that leads the reader to your focus)
T = Thesis Statement (a sentence that contains the main idea or central theme of the
whole essay).

The Hook
There are many ways to attract a reader’s attention, so allow yourself to be creative.
You may find yourself coming back and re-writing the “hook” sentence of your essay
after you’ve finished the essay as you think of more ideas. Many writers also leave the
title to the last step, or change their title after they’ve finished writing.
Some students really agonize about writing that first sentence. You may want to
choose one of the following options unless (or until) a better idea occurs.

1. Begin with a sentence that asks the reader to question him or herself.

2. Begin with a quote from a famous person or text.

3. Begin with an interesting fact or statistic

4. Begin with a contradiction that shocks the readers or sets them up for a surprise.

5. Begin with a general statement of opinion that leaves the reader questioning your

point of view.

6. Begin with a very brief anecdote or story that contains the theme of your essay.

7. Begin with a personal revelation.

 English 255    Instructor Geneffa Jonker 

Information
This is usually the first part of the introduction you have—it often comes directly from
your brainstorming. It provides the general facts or background to your essay, leading
us from your hook towards your thesis statement. The information should consist of
about four or five sentences that help us understand the focus of your topic.

Thesis Statement
The thesis statement is the nucleus of your essay. It is the most important sentence in
the whole essay because it contains the main idea and the mode of development. It
often contains a list of items that will then be covered in the body of the essay. It is
called a statement because it should be a claim and not a question.

Example: My education consisted of a series of trials, errors and more errors as I

learned the hard way that homework does not do itself.

Here is a sample introductory paragraph:

Have you ever noticed that we learn more about the world from socializing with
our peers than from our textbooks and teachers? I certainly can say that I learned more
over the years in the locker room than the classroom. As an African American male
who played football, it was expected that I would do the bare minimum in class but
shine on the field. I felt embarrassed in the classroom as my knees couldn’t even fit
under the desk and my body didn’t belong there. On the field, I came to life. In fact, I’ve
come to realize that football is the answer to most of life’s mysteries.

Can you identify the hook, information, and thesis in the above example?

Now write an introductory paragraph for your first essay:

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