Before The New Year

Before the New Year . . .
1. Let go of the fantasies you have about all the distractions in your life. – If it
entertains you now but will hurt or bore you someday, it’s a distraction. Don’t settle.
Don’t exchange what you want most for what you kinda want at the moment. Study
your habits. Figure out where your time goes, and remove distractions. It’s time to
focus on what matters.
2. Let go of the fantasy that everyone else knows what’s best for you. – Too
many of us listen to the noise of the world and get lost in the crowd. Don’t do this to
yourself. Don’t read every gossip column . . . don’t check the news five times a day.
Find the strength to fill your time with meaningful experiences. The space and time
you are occupying at any given moment is LIFE, and if you’re worrying about the
Kardashians or Lebron James or some other famous face, then you are
disempowered. You’re giving your life away to marketing and media hocus-pocus,
which is created by big companies to ultimately motivate you to want to look and
behave a certain way. It’s all just a distraction from what is real and good. What is
real and good is YOU and your friends and your family, your loves, your highs, your
hopes, and your dreams. You know this already! Listen to what your heart is telling
you!
3. Let go of the fantasy that your anger and frustration is someone else’s fault. –
The ultimate measure of your wisdom and strength is how calm you are when
facing any given situation. Calmness is indeed a superpower. The ability to not
overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace,
which instantly gives you the upper hand. (Note: Angel and I discuss this in more
detail in the “Happiness” chapter of our “1,000 Little Things” book.)
4. Let go of the fantasy that your biggest obstacle is outside yourself. – The
biggest and most complex obstacle you will ever have to overcome is your mind.
Truly, if you can overcome that, you can overcome anything. And by “overcoming,”
I’m referring to the skill of mindfulness, and learning to effectively control your
emotional responses to life’s unexpected challenges. Because most of our deepest
pain comes from the way we respond, not the way life is.
5. Let go of the fantasy that life shouldn’t be so hard. – It’s so easy to
overestimate the importance of one big, challenging circumstance and then
underestimate the value of making better daily decisions based on what that
circumstance has taught you. The truth is, you need things to be challenging—you
need things to be hard! Your mind and body need to be exercised to gain strength.
They need to be worked consistently. Because if you haven’t pushed yourself in lots
of little ways over time—if you always avoid dealing with and working through the
hard things—of course you’ll crumble on the inevitable days that are harder than
you expected.
6. Let go of the fantasy that the risks are too great. – Angel and I have met
hundreds of interesting, intelligent people searching for something new—a new
relationship opportunity, a new income opportunity, etc. Yet oftentimes when these
people have their ideal opportunity sitting right in front of them, they take zero
action. They refuse to step up and pursue what they truly want because, deep
down, they fear pain—rejection, failure, etc. So, they subconsciously and
heartbreakingly trade comfort and self-preservation for lifelong misery. Don’t do this
to yourself!
7. Let go of the fantasy that you need permission to move forward with your
life. – No one is going to give you the permission you need. Don’t wait to be chosen
or blessed by someone else. The chosen and blessed ones choose and bless
themselves, with heart-centered focus and consistent action. Your life is YOUR
choice! Know this, choose wisely, and take action.
8. Let go of the fantasy that you should feel more confident first. – Seriously,
stop believing that you should feel more confident before you take the next step.
Taking the next step is what builds your confidence. Meditate of that for a moment,
and then force yourself forward. You don’t need to have it all mapped out. You don’t
need to feel “ready.” You just need to get started—to make “starting” a daily ritual.
Do so—learn to start every day before you feel ready—and I promise you will learn
how to succeed, step by step, before you even realize that you’re good
enough. (Note: Angel and I build small, life-changing, daily rituals with our students
in the “Goals & Growth” module of the Getting Back to Happy Course.)
9. Let go of the fantasy that you need more, more, more . . . of everything. –
Simplify wherever and whenever possible. Clear the clutter in your physical and
mental space. Instead of figuring out how to make ends meet, work on having fewer
ends. Don’t sell your sanity to the impulse of acquiring things—more distractions—
you don’t need in your life. Learn to say “no!” When you simplify and live
comfortably below your means, mentally and physically, you ultimately enjoy a
freedom that people busy upgrading their lifestyles and schedules can’t even
fathom.
10. Let go of the fantasy that what you know now will always be true. – Warren
Buffett once said, “What the human being is best at doing is interpreting all new
information so that their prior conclusions remain intact.” This is a tragedy, this kind
of thinking. Don’t do it to yourself. Don’t just look for data that confirms what you
already know. Be willing to be wrong. Be willing to learn. Be mindful, humble and
teachable. There’s always room for a new idea, a new step, a new
perspective . . . a new beginning. Life changes every second, and so can you.

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Before the New Year . . .

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