True Surrender PDF
True Surrender PDF
True Surrender PDF
True
Surrender
True
Surrender
Just Let Go 20
True Surrender 23
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Thank You
‘True Surrender’ is a collection of transcripts on Surrender, Devotion and
Inquiry, all different ways of pointing to the One Truth.
Time and again, Ananta has most patiently and lovingly, pointed us to our
own Truth. Holding our hand as we (seemingly) discover this for our Self, his
compassion is unsparing of all beliefs being held onto. We would like to
dedicate this book to our most Beloved Guru on this blessed occasion of
Guru Purnima, 5th July 2020.
Many of us in the Sangha lovingly call Ananta, Father. Thank you Beloved
Father, endless gratitude for your Presence. Thank you for finding us.
The seva teams are grateful to have the opportunity to transcribe, edit and
make highlights of the Satsangs shared by Anantaji. In doing so, His pointings
reveal themselves. So much gratitude for this seva. Also remembering Amaya
who organised and set up the transcripts seva back in 2016 and whose light
continues to shine amongst us.
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What Is ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam’?
Q: Master, what do you mean by Guru Kripa Kevalam ?
Well most of us, through our surrender, we are wanting to make a trade with
God, we are wanting to make a deal with God - ‘I am going to surrender to
you but you please take care of ‘me.’
God says ‘Ahh, you want assistant? You be the assistant.’ [Smiles]
And that, even now it could be pushing some buttons, because the notion of
independent free will for the non-existent one is so deeply embedded in our
culture (all cultures, all humanity) that it can, even if I am making the point
lightly about ‘God-assisted verses God-dictated’ it can feel like ‘I don’t want
to be dictated to! God is a dictator! ’
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That’s not what I am saying. [Smiles] I am just saying that, we lay that which
seems to be an individual and seems to have this idea of the individual will, at
the feet of the Lord, at the feet of the Guru and we accept that it is only
God’s will that plays out. That’s why the ‘Kevalam’ word is very important.
So… and what happens when we lay out this individuality, the notion of this
individual free will at the feet of the Lord, what happens?
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God Assisted Life or God Dictated Life
It's also coming to me to share some thing about, Guru Kripa Kevalam.
The key word there (in a way) is Kevalam, which means ‘only is’, only the
Masters grace is. So the term Kevalam signifies that. That is a huge distinction,
because I realize that most of us want [the] Master’s grace so that [the]
Master’s grace can help us. So we are looking for a Guru-assisted life.
But the minute we start to feel like it is a Guru Kripa Kevalam, which means that
it doesn't matter what we may have wanted, what our plan was…
Most spiritual seekers they start like this, they will say ‘I am suffering, I need
some help, I want to become better or I want my life to become better’ so
they want assistance. So they are looking for a God-assisted life. But the
minute it comes to the point of giving up the ego, giving up their sense of ‘me’
who God was supposed to assist and the minute it is realized that the more
you dive into spirituality, it moves from an idea of a God-assisted life to a
God-dictated life; that's when the trouble starts to happen. You feel like
running, no? Because many didn't bargain for this. We just wanted… we heard
that, there's a great super power, super natural which can do everything and if
you just surrender to it, it will help you. So what can be a better deal than that
- if all I have to do is ‘Om Namah Shivaya, please help me’ [Gestures with folded
hands in prayer] and the greatest super power in the world comes to help
you, the greatest force in the universe, in fact the light of the universe is
available to help you, that is a fantastic deal. Who will not want that?
But the minute we start digging deeper and deeper into the Truth and we
start to see that the sense of individuality, the sense of separation between
my Self and that greatest force in the universe is just notional and it is not
here to help 'me' but it is more assimilating it's entirety into its Self. And you
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start to… in the phase that switch is happening (where you are moving away
from individualised identity to identifying with your Reality), the drugs of this
individuality will completely fear the notion of a grace-dictated life.
So surrender goes from a facade of a way to get some great assistance from
this highest power in the universe, to really letting go of every idea we may
have had about how this life should go. And that is when the rubber hits the
road! That is True Surrender.
So to accept that this life is not just God-assisted but God-dictated, in fact, it
is God itself which is leading this life. So what happens in [the] cusp between
‘I am leading my life’ and ‘God is leading my life’ ? In the ‘I am leading my life’
we have the idea that God should assist it and then when we start to see that
as our surrender is deepening, we are seeing that there is no real distinction
being felt. But actually there's a fear coming that, ‘But now I have to give up
on every righteous notion that I have about myself and about how my life
should go. And I have to completely let go to the will of the God, to the will of
the Satguru, to the will of Grace.’ Then many of us feel like... we don't say it in
these terms but really there can be a fear of it becoming a God-dictated life or
Guru-dictated life. In India maybe it is a bit easier to handle these things but
in Western culture of course, the idea of something dictating our life can
seem very very contracting. It can seem almost repulsive. This whole idea that
I have to give up this independence to God or god-forbid a Master.
It’s a very scary notion in fact, this whole idea of Master is very scary in many
cultures. Because it signifies not Master and devotee, not Master and beloved
but Master and servant. And the idea of servant, although we may like the
idea of service, we don't so much like the idea of servant, that can be a very
scary idea.
This is the crunch time of our surrender because it is very easy to talk about
surrender and it is very easy to talk about a spontaneous life without planning
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and allowing everything to unfold. All that sounds very nice, but the minute
that unfolding or that spontaneity is squeezing our ego out of us, then it is
seen as it is not just a customer support that we are calling and saying ‘God
help me' [Chuckles]. But that which you are calling for customer support is
actually now taking over our entire life. There can be some sense of wanting
to run. So this Guru Kripa Kevalam implies that everything is God's grace,
everything! So everything is being dictated in our life by God, by grace, by
consciousness.
So when speak about Truth for Truth’s sake, that is what we are talking
about. When we speak about surrender that is what we are talking about.
It is not something has to come, the Master's job is to come and help me, but
the Master's job really is to show you your Reality, show you what you really
are. And during that process you will let go of your individual idea and
identity about yourself, and that process of letting go, for some, comes very
easy. For those with the devotional temperament it can seem like very easy.
Some of you hearing this will say 'God-dictated life, that sounds amazing’ and
some of you may be feeling that pinch. Some of you feeling that pinch saying
that 'No, no, I am happy with God assisting me, as long as He is my assistant, I
am deciding the plan, it should go here and that He should help me to get
there and He should help me with peace, with joy, with love, He should carry
me so kindly to my plan.' But the minute it is said that ‘your plan’ is not really
a good plan, you don't really know how to plan and you don't have to worry
about planning. So where God will carry you is also up to God. That can
seem a bit shaky. Because then anything can happen and we open ourself to
the great unknown.
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only that will that will be done, anyway. Because That Is, all there is, anyway.
But in this play of that same ‘what Is’ it can only seem like… we can determine
like an inner attitude towards this and that inner attitude of openness makes
it empty of suffering. And that inner attitude of holding on to the false idea
of separation, can make it seem like it is suffering.
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A Good Contemplation: What Are We in This
For?
What are we in this for?
Are we in this so that the ‘me’ is primary and God is the assistant? So God is
really the servant and we are happy with that kind of paradigm. But the
minute it is realized that the situation may be reversed and then ultimately
realized that there is only One, there is only God… So it is only the middle
seeming step of the process which can seem a bit constrictive, which is that, it
is me that is subservient to the will of God and that is True Surrender.
So, many times in Satsang we ask. ‘Who is it, that you want to be helped?’ Is
the Master the customer support [and you] saying, ‘I signed up for this life. I
paid the full subscription and I was told the Master will help me and please
help me’. Is it like that? Is that the relationship? It can seem like in the
beginning. But I have a sense that I am speaking to all of you [who] are
spiritually mature enough to hear what I am saying. So, is it like this?
For most people in the world, if you went and told them, you just go this
Satsang, or you go to any temple, or you go to church, or go wherever and you
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go a few times and you just put your head down and say ‘I surrender to you
Lord, you please take charge of driving this wheel, take charge of the wheel
now, you drive this car or truck or whatever it is’ and then what will happen is,
the highest power in the universe will help you. Who will not want such a
deal? Everybody will want it. What else could we ask for? ‘Hello, I got my
genie’. Just rub the lamp of surrender and ta-da ‘Yes my Lord’, God comes
and says ‘Yes my Lord, what do you want?’
But the minute we start to realize it is not about what my mind wants; what
this voice of separation wants. In fact by invoking this God or Satguru’s
Presence, what is happening is that our individuality is being consumed in our
intuitive insight of our True Reality, then that can seem like it is a bit scary, ‘I
am not getting what I want, that’s why I was here, because I thought I will get
what I want with the lot of peace, with the lot of joy added on like the cherries
on top.’ Not only should I get what I want but it should also come with love,
peace, joy - all the beautiful things. So that was the deal we thought we were
making but actually, the deal was to start to see more and more that the ‘me’
that is the desire-est ‘me’, the ‘me’ that wants was never my Reality anyway.
Then what is your attitude towards this?
Are you willing to allow everything that unfolds in this life, which you call your
life, to be according to the will of the Satguru, the will of your own holy spirit,
your own Being, Presence?
Why? Because it is True. No other why. Not a single reason about ‘Why it will
help you’. Just ‘why’ because it True. And that’s why I keep saying, are you
tired enough of living the lie, that you are willing to consume your will in the
Higher will? Or is it still that ‘Let thy will be done, so that ultimately my will be
done’ or is it truly ‘Let thy will be done’, is it truly Guru Kripa Kevalam or is it
still Guru Kripa Kevalam because it helps ‘me’?
So, I feel like this is good for some inner contemplation for all of us.
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And it is important to hear these words because ignorance is like a blind spot.
We don’t end up spotting it for ourselves. We feel like ‘But I surrendered so
well, I was completely in service to the Lord.’ Whatever representation or
expression of the Lord which appeals to your heart you can use that. You can
say ‘I surrendered so deeply to the Lord, but still he did not help me’, but that
is not the deal that the Lord signed. There is no such deal – it is the Lord’s job
to further your delusions about yourself. There was never the deal. The job of
the Master, of your holy Presence, is to bring you to your Reality, to bring you
to the end of ignorance – from darkness to light, not to further the darkness
because it pleases you.
So, just notice this for yourself. In your heart, check on what is True?
What do you really want?
Would surrender still be an attractive notion once you realize that it is not
meant to fulfil some ideas that you may have about your life?
And by the way, remember that this idea includes the idea of enlightenment.
Because you may be hiding in that corner, saying, ‘I don’t want anything else
from God, all I want is enlightenment.’ And for whom do you want this
enlightenment? For whom do you want this enlightenment? So not even that
you can hold on to.
So the surrender-ers have to surrender every notion they have about what
they want and also of course the notion of ‘surrendering’ and ‘surrender’
itself. That is True Surrender.
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The Doer and the Experiencer Are One
The doer and the experiencer are one; it is not who we have taken ourselves
to be in the past.
So, surrender is, to hand over to that which is running this life and also
experiencing this life - as long as these distinctions still remain.
That’s what I’m pointing out: that which is handed over now (is the one) that I
took myself to be - this non-existent one - and I took it to be the doer. Now, if
you continue to take yourself to be the non-existent one which is still the
individual experiencer, then it is not fully surrendered.
You must now say that ‘That which I considered myself to be is neither the
doer nor the experiencer and there is only one, which is my Master, Guru Kripa
Kevalam, who is now doing and experiencing. There is no distinction between
my Being and my Master.’
So, we can’t just hand over the doer-ship aspect of our limited idea of our
Self; we must also hand over the idea of our limited experiencer-ship that this
is happening to me individually.
A: So, it starts like this [Joins hands in prayer]: ‘Please take care of me, I’ve
tried running this life and now it is not working, so I put my head to You.’ So,
separation between Master-disciple. Then, it is found often (not always) that
most actually stay at this point and they find some peace. It gives them some
band-aid, and they go about their life until something pokes them very much
and then they come back and say: ‘Sorry, sorry, I forgot, but You please take
care.’ So, some can stay at that.
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But many times, it happens that you stay at that and you say: ‘Thank You for
being here. I see that I’m not so concerned now about what is being done
because what is being done and what is being experienced are both Your
problem. Who am I to ask for only this type or that type?’
You see, we can start by saying, ‘Please let this life be full of all things that the
world has to offer. May I never be in a lack for something.’ You can do all
kinds of ceremony and rituals around it, but most prayer is like that: ‘Please
give me money, give me strength, whatever, whatever, whatever.’ So that,
clearly now, ‘I’m handing it over to You. You are the doer, but please can You
just take care of my bank account, my spiritual progress, whatever.’
Then, if that surrender is true, then many can come to this point, which is that
‘Yes, You are doing and I’m nobody to define for You what You have to do. If
You want to keep this body in wealth, keep it in wealth. If You want to keep it
in poverty, keep it in poverty.’ So, you can make a prayer like, ‘Jaahi vidhi rakhe
Ram, taahi viddhi rahiye.’ Meaning, however Ram keeps me, I’m happy.
So, you move away from making that surrender but still having an expectation
of what that experience should become, to saying, ‘Whatever happens, it’s up
to You. Whichever way You want to keep me, I’m fine with that,’ becomes the
thing.
Then, it becomes, ‘Yes, I see You only everywhere, Oh Lord, it’s only You; I
don’t find this me anywhere.’
Then, you may say something like, Bulleh Shah [Sufi poet] saying, “Mein
kaun?” - Who am I? I don’t understand. Here I look, I’m not; there I look, I’m
not.
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So, some may say then, ‘Here, there, everywhere, there is only You, You, You.
Tu hi tu. Who am I even to pray to You? It’s all You.’
So then, this surrender naturally comes to this oneness of jnana yoga [path of
knowledge], which through the inquiry you see there is only one, there is no
separation, there is no two. Then, in our devotion, when we let go of this
outcome, this individual expectation, what should happen, what should not
happen, you see that, ‘Who was I asking for anyway? I don’t find any
existence of that one. It’s only one; it’s only You. So, for many it can feel like a
progression.
20th July 2019
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Surrender and Inquiry Are Same in Reality
Q: Dear Father, is letting go of my thoughts and Self-inquiry, two opposite
ways for realization?
But in Reality, there are not two, because He [Sri Ramana Maharishi] has
clearly defined this. He said ‘I am something’ is the source of all trouble. Now
this ‘something’ is always a thought, unless you attach this something with
identification (with belief to the sense of your Being) it is not possible to be
identified.
Now, let us say that something was [saying] ‘I am not Free.’ When you say ‘I
am not Free’ you can say ‘Who is the one that is not Free?’ You don’t find such
a one that is not Free. Then that ‘not Free’ doesn’t attach to your Being,
because you investigated and you saw that there is no such one.
What happens when you surrender? You say ‘I am still not Free’ and then you
say ‘Okay, that is the Master’s problem. That is God’s problem, it has nothing
to do with me.’ So then it doesn’t attach. Either way you are not attaching any
notion to your Being and anything which leaves you in this un-born, leaves
you notion-less, is true Satsang. Anything that makes you conditioned, even if
it makes you conditioned spiritually, is not Satsang.
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So whatever… not just surrender and Self-inquiry, which are both the same in
this way, just different seeming ways to come to the same result… but that is
for all of spirituality.
And anything that seems to get you there is a worthy spiritual practice. Then
you will see that actually nothing is needed. It is only when we are deeply
conditioned in the habit that it seems like we need a particular practice. And
you see that [Clicks fingers to mean ‘in this moment’] you are not attached. It
is natural that you are not attached. It is not natural that you are attached.
But till we have the notion that ‘naturally I am attached’ then these practices
can be used.
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Simplest Surrender: Don’t Make a Conclusion
Notice, right Now, whether you are some ‘thing.’
Originally, in the moment, are you something’? [Silence]
Do You have a name, originally?
Do You have a boundary?
Like, does something define You originally; what You are, in this very
moment? [Silence]
What do you need now a concept for? Do you need a concept even for
normal body functioning like breathing? If you did not have the concept [of]
breathing would you stop breathing? Would your hearing stop if you did not
know what hearing was?
Existence is completely taking care of Itself. Like my Master [Sri Mooji] says
‘Let Existence take care of existence’ or ‘Leave your existence to Existence’. It
is already doing all of this. In Your very Existence, the light of Your Existence,
all this play is moving on its own. So, what support do you want to give to
God or to Existence?
The One that is playing with this entire universe and many universes…, does It
feel like it needs some support from the non-existent idea that we have about
ourself?
So, when we make a conclusion, we feel that ‘What Is’ is not enough; the ‘Is-
ness’ is not enough. ‘It needs the aid of my idea of what life should be, of who
I am or what the world is.’ But those conclusions are not needed.
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The simplest way to surrender (because sometimes we struggle with this
‘surrender’ (‘How do I surrender?’)…, the simplest way to surrender is - Don't
make a conclusion.
It is possible to live a notion-less existence. But the trouble that many of you
are having is that after hearing all of this then you’re getting into the cycle of
self-judgment. Because you hear that ‘Notion-less Existence is the best’ then
it can feel like ‘Oh, then why do I keep picking up these notions?’ Then this
can be so… [Circling his hand] ‘Why do I keep doing this?’ But that is another
notion. So, then it becomes a vicious cycle. You see? Suppose you picked up
the notion ‘Oh, I wish I had this in my life?’ It is fine. I call it the 'starter'. That
is the starter, but the desert (with the most calories) is the guilt. ‘Oh, why am I
being so full of notions? Why can't I drop this?’
That's why I keep assuring all of you that the best amongst us, the best that
have ever lived in this realm, have had moments of where they do pick up
notions. Even the Sages pick up notions from time to time. But they don't
usually pick up the desert ‘Oh, why did I do that? I must not be Free yet?’
Then the mind it picks up and it says ‘Yes, yes, this moment is fine.’
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One from the Sangha was saying that ‘This moment is fine, Father, because I
am with you. But I know what is going happen. This always happens, that
when I leave you, I start picking up notions and I can't remain like this.’ Then I
said ‘But why do you want to spoil this moment for something that is going to
happen in the future?’
So, if you know, for example, that you are going to fall into a ditch tomorrow,
then why do you want that falling to seem like it must spoil this moment
already?
It's better that you don't worry about that.
It can sound like a simple thing, but actually, all of us know that death is
coming. Ultimately, the end of this body is going to be the funeral; the
burning on the funeral pyre or the burying under the ground. That's what's
going to happen to this body.
If it is that way anyway, then why do we even bother with anything at all? If
Freedom was for this body then why would we bother with it? Because it's
going to die anyway. Of what use is that Freedom? If Freedom is for an
individual, the individual has only one end, which is death. So, why would we
then bother with it?
7th June 2018
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Leave Nothing Out of Surrender
Trust means that, everything that appears in light of Being, is left for Being to
do. Everything that appears in the light of Being, Being has to take care of.
So many times we make this mistake of, we say, ‘I surrender, I surrender.’ And
we try to surrender as if we are the body and we are like ‘Oh, I surrender…’ But
when you surrender you must surrender the whole universe. Leave nothing
out of your surrender. If you are just surrendering one measly body, what is
the big deal in that?
Surrender everything and give it the freedom. Let it be. Stop burdening it and
therefore burdening yourself with these ideas. That is the feeling behind Guru
Kripa Kevalam - Everything is Master’s grace.
Not everything in my life, for this body, this kind of egotism is not surrender.
Everything ever perceived… just let go.
[Silence]
[Silence]
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A: Yeah, we have an idea of how it should translate, how it should play out
and also we have an idea of something limited which is surrendering. We are
still surrendering as something, as somebody.
But just surrender your entire waking state. Just let go of your expectations of
the entire waking state.
[Silence]
Not like ‘I’ forgive the world. Just let go… of everything that appears to you.
Don’t try to manage any of it and don’t do any of this as a body. Include the
body in your forgiveness. Let it play out whatever as part of this great dance,
this one is also dancing.
14th January 2020
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Just Let Go
If you are trying to understand the Truth, you are doing it wrong.
If you are trying to perceive the Truth, you are doing it wrong.
Even if you are trying to be the Truth, you are doing it wrong.
If there is any trying, you are doing it wrong.
Just let it all go, all your effort.
Once you are in Satsang, what is the effort you are making to come to Satsang?
But you are already here.
Once you are in Bangalore, what is the effort that you are making to come to
Bangalore?
It sounds absurd, isn’t it? In the same way, for the Self to try and make an
effort to be the Self, is absurdity.
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How to Come to This Surrender?
‘How to come to this surrender?’ has been what we’ve been talking about for
the last few days actually. To ‘be surrendered’ means to have no idea: to not
know anything at all.
Now, of course, when pain is there, then pain is experienced. And you check,
rightly, to see ‘Who is suffering from this pain?’ But whatever the objective
experience might be, inquiry means to look at: What witnesses that? So,
whether it is an energetic sensation in the throat or it is a concept of
something, to inquire is to find out: Who witnesses that? What is perceiving
that? Can that perceiver be perceived? (Whatever the content of the
experience might be.)
So, the problem is that when we inquire with expectations, then there is
always this monkey on our back which is saying ‘Is the symptom going away?
Is the feeling going away? Am I feeling better?’ That’s why I’ve been saying
today: Just inquire for inquiry; inquire for the Truth. It is worth it…
independent of any other benefit.
So many get frustrated because ‘I’ve been looking for this for so long. I just
don’t find it. How many Satsangs does it take? How much inquiry does it take?’
because it can feel like ‘One day I will find the I’, as if it is an experience of the
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‘I’. But the Truth is much more obvious than that; simpler than that. It cannot
be painted in a picture. It cannot be described in a concept. And yet, it is Your
very own discovery.
So, as we remain empty of any concept, of any notion of anything, then that
is surrender and inquiry.
The fruit of the inquiry is apparent. And there is never a suffer-er; there is
never the owner of anything unless there is a concept. Who You Are is just
naturally present.
Then even actually the terms (I rarely will say something like this) but at this
point, even the terms inquiry and surrender will become meaningless. They
will just be used when the Guru puts them in your mouth to share with others.
All concepts like body, world, universe, God, Consciousness, Awareness…,
they don’t point to anything at all.
15th November 2017
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True Surrender
Just empty of any position, see how everything unfolds. Without obsessing
about how it must unfold.
As any time I say this then you feel like ‘Oh, this is very convenient. I am just
going to watch and everything will go according to my mind's plan.’ [Smiles] It
doesn’t happen that way.
It is not a new cheat code to make life function exactly the way you want it,
without even having you to do anything. This sounds like a great deal to the
mind.
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Surrender (Not Half-Surrender) and Inquiry
There are many variations of half-surrender which I used to speak about
earlier. Maybe I can share a little bit before we get into the inquiry.
One is that ‘You are now the doer (You: God, Guru, Self are now the doer) but
I am still the experiencer’. This may be the most popular form of half-
surrender. It cannot be that the doer and the experiencer are two. It must be
that ‘You are the doer and You are also the experiencer’…, as it is said in the
scriptures in India ‘Tvam Karta, Tvam Bhogta’.
So this is one form of surrender, where we say to God ‘Yes, I leave everything
to You, but please make sure that I’m well taken care of’. You see? So, that is
more like a business deal rather than surrender. It must be that ‘I leave
everything to you. Do with me as You please. Let Thy will be done’. It is not a
way to get my will to be done, to say that I am offering up everything to You
as a way of getting my will to be done. So, ‘Let Thy will be done’.
So, this is one version; where we say that ‘You are the doer, but make sure my
experience is a certain way, the way that I want it to be’. This, many times (at
least we used to hear in Satsang), somebody would say ‘But I surrendered
everything to you; but now look at my life!’ [Chuckles] Yes. But it’s no longer
your life because you surrendered everything, isn’t it?
Then, the other variety is where ‘All the good things, I’m still doing. All the
bad things, God is doing to me’. You see? [Chuckles] This happened where
we’re attracted to pride in some way, so everything good that is happening is
‘Oh, I worked so hard and got this done. But why did you have to do this to
me, God? Everything was going so well’. So, all the blame is God’s and all the
credit is yours; quote-unquote ‘yours’. That is one version.
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The other one is, those who are attracted to guilt and unworthiness, they will
take on all the blame. All the blame will be theirs, and all the credit goes to the
world or to God or to Guru. You see, even that is not…, even that is half-
surrender. Because otherwise then we retain this guilty, victim mind-set.
So, all these variations, (and there could be a few more, but these are the
main ones, I feel)…, ‘You are the doer and You are the experiencer: Let Thy
will be done. All actions are Yours. All in-action is also Yours. Every single
movement of a blade of grass is Yours. Every emotion is Yours. Every
sensation is Yours’.
So, the end of this presumed ‘me’, the presumed ego, is through this inquiring
and checking that it doesn’t exist, and to come to recognition of Who We Are.
And the surrendering of all we have presumed about ourself and handing it
over to the higher power, to the God-Presence. Both are the same, because
we’re not picking up anything; any attribute, any conditions. And ‘I Am’
remains un-associated.
And both the legs of the ego - desire and doer-ship; are also dissolved in this
surrender. What desire can you have now? Because your entire life belongs to
your Master. And the prayer already is that ‘Let Thy will be done. May You be
the doer of all actions and in-actions that happen through this body’.
Then what happens? Then we say that ‘Actually surrender was just a play,
because I see that it was always this way anyway. There never was a ‘me’ that
was doing anything at all. It was always You, my Lord (or my Master). Always
You’.
I said earlier that ‘God is not waiting for your surrender’. He’s not sitting
waiting over there in the corner for the tag-team to come…, ‘Okay, yours now’.
[Laughs] God is already running this life and experiencing this life. God is not
waiting for your surrender to run your life; it is already so. It is only the false-
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presumption that is taken away in this surrender. You see? And once you start
to truly surrender, truly become open…, (because openness IS surrender),
then you see ‘It has always been so. It is this Consciousness, this God-
Presence, which has been the only doer and the only experiencer here.
That is why it is said that the path of inquiry and surrender are ultimately one;
because the finding is the same.
You know, here how it was, was a very fickle personality operating. Some
days, very, very bhakti [devotional] oriented; just wanted to sing and sing
bhajans [devotional songs]. And other days, just wanted to inquire and say
‘What is this bhajan stuff?’ You see, it was just fluctuating. [Chuckles] And
even that is fine.
There is no set template for Freedom. It is only a response to your inner urge
of coming home; of Self-recognition, of not playing ‘as if’ you are separate
anymore. And really, there are no rules for this game. It’s just that the Masters
have, in their beautiful compassion, suggested some things so that it can
seem more peaceful, joyful; this seeming-journey.
And it is inevitable, this recognition of the Self, this coming home. Inevitable,
because actually you never really left anyway. But it’s a beautiful ride, when
you get on the Guru’s back and let him do all the work, you see. [Smiles]
16th August 2016
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Most Are Misunderstanding Full Surrender
A: You said [addressing a Sangha member] that until 2009 there was great
belief that everything is God’s will, everything is God’s grace. Then in 2009 an
event happened where you felt like ‘No, this could not have been God’s will,
this couldn’t have been God’s grace.’ So, you said that ‘I have to take back
charge of my life. I can’t leave it to God.’ Then until 2015, it continued to be a
mess and then you started coming to Satsang. And now, something seems to
be shaking up again.
A: It’s not the full step. ‘You do it; You run my life’ or the recognition ‘You are
doing it; You are running my life anyway’ - that is half-surrender. Because you
have surrendered the doer-ship over but you have not yet surrendered the
experiencer-ship over. ‘You are the doer, I’m still the experiencer.’ And this
creates too much dichotomy, too much conflict.
So, the first step to surrender (this half-surrender) ‘You are the doer’ deepens
in this surrender and then it becomes ‘You are doing and You are
experiencing, my Lord. What is my role in this play, I don’t understand.’ Then
that deepens further in to ‘You are the one doer, one experiencer. This ‘me’
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was never here.’ So, that’s why the surrender and inquiry is the same; true
surrender and inquiry is the same. But if it is this kind of half-surrender…
In Sanskrit they say ‘Tvam karta, Tvam bhogta’ is surrender. This means ‘You
are the doer, You are the experiencer.’ But we know that (especially in our
Indian culture it is very much like this) this popular notion is this half-
surrender. ‘You are doing, but please make sure what You are doing is taking
care of me’ basically. So, it’s basically a business deal that we are making with
God, saying that ‘I surrender to You. But by the way, I’m keeping one eye
open, okay? And You better not mess this up, because then I’m going to take it
back.’
So, now the surrender that we are discovering is, ‘The One that is doing is
also the One that is experiencing, let’s surrender to that One.’ And we come
into clarity about who that is. So, if you keep ‘God’ and ‘me’ in the equation,
then it can seem like a lot of things will still be squeezed out of you. Because
God didn’t agree to this deal. Did He say to you in response when you said
‘God, I’m surrendering to you, please take care of this me’ did He say ‘Yes, it’s
a deal?’ God did not say that. Because God wants to experience Itself as God
Itself ultimately. It has been playing as ‘me’ but it is not fine with that. It gets
tired with that play after some time. So, the other half of the contract was
never signed.
So, the point of this first step towards surrender is not so that you can go
back and forth in this first step. It’s so that we can also go deeper and come
to the second step; which is that One who is doing, the Light of my Existence,
is the One that is perceiving, that is experiencing everything also, it is only
One. This One is this all-pervasive Reality, this Consciousness. This is the fruit
of the surrender.
So, if you surrender at the Master’s feet or at God’s feet, we must surrender
both the aspects: the doing and the experiencing. This must become God’s
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life then. ‘Do with it what You want.’ It can’t be ‘I surrender to You; do with it
what I want.’ Although it sounds funny when I’m saying it, you will notice how
much deal making we have done like that. You see?
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True Surrender and True Devotion
[Conveying a seekers message] The short version of what she is saying is that,
‘There still comes some anger towards you. The mind says ‘You, Father, are
not helping me get rid of the ‘me’. How much am I going to go through? So
much I have trusted you, had faith. Why do I still have to go through so
much?’ And ‘Why is Father not giving moksha [liberation] to this mind?' And
then she says ‘By saying ‘Father’ this includes all the big guns like Bhagavan
[Sri Ramana Maharishi] and Yogi Ramsuratkumar.’
This trust… and exactly this is one of the few rare highlights of Satsang which
I posted on my own timeline, which is the interaction with you only, where we
talked about the meaning of true surrender and true devotion. Our idea of
trust is ‘I trust you make things happen my way’. And that does not mean trust
at all.
Trust means ‘Whichever way Bhagwan [God] is keeping me, that is the way
I'm meant to be’. Our mind hates this idea because without this idea of ‘Where
I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be, how my life is supposed to be’
there is no utility for the mind, no use for it. So, it will resist this idea with all
its might. Like Guruji [Sri Mooji] says ‘The fear is if I hand over my existence
to God or Satguru, then what if he makes a mess out if it?’ Does that sound
like trust? That's not trust.
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This ‘me’ that all that of us are fighting and trying to get rid of does not exist,
naturally in this minute. You have to bring the past into it. You have to project
the future.
Q: ‘Actually, I see this, too. This ‘me’ is not here.’
A: Then? [Chuckling] Got rid of the ‘me’? Or no? You said ‘Help me get rid of
the me.’ So, you see that this ‘me’ is not here. Done! [Chuckles]
How to get rid of that which does not exist? Only by withdrawing our belief in
it. You see?
Q: ‘I see the space. In fact, it’s about getting carried away with these
sensations which arise.’
There is never any trouble with the sensations in themselves. It is just the
interpretation of these sensations. You see, ‘me’ is not a feeling. It is that
these feelings are interpreted as separation. All feelings arise in the great
inclusive space, the great inclusion that is You. But we look at some feelings
and say that ‘This makes the ‘me’ possible. This is me.’ This is the big trick. It’s
just an idea.
If you had no notion of separation, if you had no idea of ‘me’ and ‘other’, then
who is doing what to whom?
All our grievances, all our resentments, they fall away. The trouble that
happens sometimes for all of us is that we see this clearly, but quickly as we
are Seeing, the mind will come and say ‘But what about when Satsang ends?
Then you still have your family to deal with and all this.’ But none of what I'm
saying now will actually change. Otherwise, I would be speaking nonsense. If
it was just temporary, then it would be just another set of concepts. But what
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you are finding is the unchanging Truth about what You Are. This does not
change.
Q: ‘What is happening here is that one moment I'm here in this ‘me’, and then
I move to this space-like Being.’
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What Are We Hoping That Surrender Will Do
for Us?
A: Surrender means you stay with this divine presence and let life take care of
itself, is that what you mean to surrender? Now, suppose you did that and
things did not go according to plan? No problem! Sure?
Q: God’s plan.
A: God’s plan… because many times we feel like ‘We surrender and everything
will be taken care of according to my plan.’ I tried to achieve these four
concerns [money, health, relationship, the search for meaning] through effort,
through doer-ship, now I am letting go of doer-ship and maybe everything
will be taken care of. But if the concerns remain the same, which is money,
health, relationship, the search for meaning; and we are actually trying to look
for a way (quick way) to get what we want phenomenally through surrender,
then surrender does not work that way.
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To surrender itself means to see that there is no individual doer. So you see
that this idea of the power of control was just made up.
This is a very important point and most miss this point actually. Because we
surrender so that things will be taken care of now, but things have always
been taken care of. It did not need your surrender.
Nothing is out of place, not a blade of grass, not a snowflake that falls, falls
out of place, it’s an old Zen saying. So if not one snowflake falls out of place,
what are we hoping that ‘surrender’ will do for us? Because this is the fallacy
many times. We feel like ‘We have tried, tried, tired, I can’t do it. So let me
then go to God and then he will do it for me.’ So God is now our new servant -
just what we want, we want to achieve through that. But that is not what
surrender is.
In true surrender, the expectation must be surrendered first. The idea of what
should happen as a result of my surrender, that should go. And then you see
that everything is always taken care of - Guru Kripa Kevalam.
It is not after that you say ‘Guru Kripa Kevalam’ that it becomes Guru Kripa
Kevalam [Smile]. Or not after we accept that ‘All is Master’s grace, Sadguru’s
grace’ not after that does Guru Kripa play out, it is more a statement of our
recognition that ‘everything has always been Masters grace’ and that is tough,
seems to be tough. Because we can accept the candy-flavoured moments as
Master’s grace but when things don’t go according to our minds plan or our
desire, things don’t go according to our desire, then we can feel like ‘It’s not
going according to Master’s grace.’ But if there is something outside of
Master’s grace then there is no Master’s grace.
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Who wants a limited grace? [Smile]
Nobody.
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The Expectation Has to Be Surrendered
Life is always just life. We can say 'Life is always perfect' but actually the word
'perfect' has a wrong connotation at times. So, better to say 'Life is just life'.
Because when you say 'perfect' then you're imagining some utopian sort of
ideal.
Life is always just life. But to suffer life, you have to have a limited notion
about yourself.
Because I know that you are God (because I know that I am God) and God
cannot suffer. But when I believe myself to be something limited, everything
can become an opportunity to suffer. [Silence]
But once you start (when Consciousness Itself starts) to enjoy It’s notion-less
Existence, it's very rare for It to go back to feeling feverish about notions.
So, I'm also reassuring you: Try it. You've tried the way, full of concepts for
long, now try this concept-less way.
And if you have a report that 'You said this, and since then, my life has
become a full mess' [Laughs] then we can talk about it.
It has happened with me. [Laughs] I had this Satsang with her [Referring to a
seeker] where I told her that 'Your concern is that if you hand over your life to
God, He's just going to make a mess of it, or a hash of it.'
She said, ‘Yes, yes Father, that is fine. This concern, I am surrendering it.' (Or
something; this is what I remember, that ‘I'm surrendering it.')
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The next day she came to Satsang and she had this pretend anger with me
[Makes a mock angry face] and she said, 'Anantaji, I'm very angry with you
today.'
She said, 'You said to hand it over to God and I've been a practicing
psychotherapist for 20 years; I’ve never missed an appointment, and I handed
it over to God and for the first time in 20 years, I missed an appointment.' She
said, 'I gave it over to God and He messed it up.' [Laughs]
So, this giving it over to God cannot be done with an expectation of what a
mess-up is or not. This is not a cop-out. It is not an excuse. But if we still have
an idea of 'What my life should be' then that is not surrender at all. So, it is
that expectation which has to be surrendered. It's not a cheat code to getting
your desires.
'I'm just going to hand over to Guruji [Sri Mooji], and then Guruji will make
sure I have a million dollars in my bank account, he'll make sure I have the
perfect partner or my meetings go on time.' [Chuckles] It's not that.
So, the idea that 'I am the doer' and the idea that 'I am the experiencer' are
both surrendered. 'Twam Karta Twam Bhogta' means 'You [God] are the doer'
and 'You [God] are the experiencer'.
And this 'You' will be seen to be 'I' only, ultimately; it's fine. But in the spirit of
surrender, it means ‘You [God] are the doer and You [God] are the
experiencer’.
Who am I? All of this is Your game, Your play. You are playing with your Self.
True surrender is to surrender this 'me' (this identity). Then you start to see
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that, there never was this 'me' anyway. The surrender-er was just a play by
Consciousness Itself.
10th November 2017
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Surrender Is Not Doing, It’s Just Recognition
Q: What is the means of prayer in this Consciousness?
A: Anything that takes us away from considering our Self to be this limited
identity (and this limited identity, as you know, is made up of Doer-ship,
Desire and Duality).
So when we pray, we might be even praying for our desire, but at least we are
getting rid of this doer-ship part… [Gestures of hand folded] ‘You are the
doer, please’ - Anything that takes us away from these three 'D’s’ is good.
A: Of course, everything is just only witnessed. [Smiles] To see that ‘My idea
of control in the way I thought I was controlling one body is false’ - is enough.
That is why one great Master (I was with) said that ‘Surrender is not a doing,
it is just a recognition.’ You recognize the way things always were and you
realize that there was no such individual doer. So it is just a recognition that
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this One… in the light of this One Being, on the screen of this One Being, all of
this play of light and sound is happening.
Who is doing it right now? Who is hearing right now? Who is doing the
hearing?
Q: Awareness.
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To Surrender, Then It’s the Master’s Problem
Q: Father, I feel I have no need to know ‘Who am I’? Because ‘I am’ because of
you. You are always here in my heart. Always put your hand on my head.
Always at your feet, Father. Love you.
A: This is very beautiful. Because yesterday when I was sharing I said that if
you can just say that ‘I have let go of the mind, I have disposed of the mind,
and handed over my life to God or Guru’ then that is it. Then even what you
want or don’t want is the Master’s problem. What interests you or doesn’t
interest you is the Master’s problem. Then we don’t make any statement
about ‘What I want or don’t want’ because we don’t know. Next minute, it
might be the Master’s will, that this [topic] is what is being contemplated. A
life becomes open and fresh and completely surrendered.
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This Openness: Surrender
More and more, this openness will reveal its gifts to you. Because openness
seems like a very simple pointing. To the mind, it seems like ‘Can open really
be at the core of these pointings which are about Awareness and
Consciousness?’ But it is very much. Because this openness, acceptance…,
this openness, surrender; we cannot surrender if we have concepts about how
things should be. If we are closed to what should appear or should not
appear then that is not a surrender. You see?
They are introducing yourself to your Being. You are coming to your
recognition.
Don’t undervalue this. Because we are now jaded with the words ‘Awareness’
and ‘Consciousness’. Truly, you are discovering now, that all of this play of
time and space are just like toys you brought to entertain yourself.
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See for yourself what is being spoken. Don’t just put it in a mental drawer to
be used in Advaita discussions.
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Satsang with Ananta
A nanta (born, Tapan Garg) is a disciple of spiritual Guru, Sri Mooji. His
quest for Self-realisation began in 1998, at the age of 23.
He spent the initial few years involved with Sri Sri Ravishankar’s Art of Living
Foundation. At one point, he seriously contemplated becoming a teacher of
the Art of Living, but life led him in a different direction when he came across
the teachings of Nisargadatta Maharaj and later, Bhagawan Ramana Maharshi
and Sri HWL Poonja (Papaji).
The search for Truth finally led him to his Guru Sri Mooji in January
2009. The instant Ananta met Mooji he felt a deep sense of having come
Home. He experienced a complete sense of surrender to Mooji and in His
Presence, he discovered all that he was seeking. With Sri Mooji’s blessings,
Ananta has been sharing Satsangs since 2013.
www.anatasatsang.org
www.facebook.com/satsangwithananta