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Scripted Research - Trauma Bonding

The document outlines the seven stages of trauma bonding: 1) love bombing, 2) gaining trust, 3) criticism, 4) manipulation, 5) resignation, 6) distress, and 7) repetition of the cycle. Abusers engage in love bombing to gain trust, criticize victims to make them doubt themselves, and manipulate them through gaslighting. Over time, victims resign themselves to the abuse and experience psychological distress. Unfortunately, the cycle often repeats as abusers regain victims' trust through love bombing after each abusive incident.

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100% found this document useful (2 votes)
382 views

Scripted Research - Trauma Bonding

The document outlines the seven stages of trauma bonding: 1) love bombing, 2) gaining trust, 3) criticism, 4) manipulation, 5) resignation, 6) distress, and 7) repetition of the cycle. Abusers engage in love bombing to gain trust, criticize victims to make them doubt themselves, and manipulate them through gaslighting. Over time, victims resign themselves to the abuse and experience psychological distress. Unfortunately, the cycle often repeats as abusers regain victims' trust through love bombing after each abusive incident.

Uploaded by

muskan
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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https://www.verywellmind.

com/trauma-bonding-5207136

Stages of Trauma Bonding


You may have heard of the seven stages of trauma bonding. Though each
trauma bond is unique, they often involve a version of the common
patterns listed below.

What Are the Seven Stages of Trauma Bonding?

 Love bombing
 Gaining trust
 Criticism
 Manipulation
 Resignation
 Distress
 Repetition

Love Bombing
Love bombing is when a person overwhelms you with grand displays of
affection. They might send you extravagant bouquets of flowers every day
for a week, or tell you that they love you early on in the relationship.

Psychologists note that narcissists and sociopaths may engage in love


bombing to gain the other person's trust.3

Gaining Trust
An abuser may perform specific actions in order to be considered
trustworthy. If you doubt their trustworthiness, they may become
offended that you would doubt them in the first place.

Criticizing the Victim


An abuser often criticizes the victim to the point where the victim even
blames themself. In many cases, the victim comes to believe they
deserve the criticism—even when they've done nothing wrong. 2

Manipulating the Victim


Abusers defend their own behavior by manipulating their victims. When a
victim tries to speak out against unfair treatment, the abuser might
gaslight them by saying, "You're imagining it," or "You're exaggerating."
They may even convince the victim that the abuse is normal and there's
nothing wrong with it.2
Resignation
Often known as the fawn response to trauma, after repeated incidents of
abuse, a victim often resigns to going along with the abusive behavior.
They acquiesce to what the abuser wants. The fawn response is often
referred to as people-pleasing. However, it's also a coping mechanism for
survival.4

Psychological Distress
A victim experiences severe psychological distress as a result of abuse;
unfortunately, during this stage, they may also experience emotional
numbness, feeling as though they've lost who they are, withdrawing from
people and activities, and even suicidal ideation.

The Cycle Repeats


Unfortunately, the cycle of abuse is characterized by its repetition. After
an abusive incident, an abuser often begins the stages of trauma bonding
all over again by love bombing the victim and regaining their trust.

The victim may make excuses for the abuser's behavior. Things may
seem like they're returning to "normal," until another incident of abuse
occurs.5

The cycle of abuse can be broken. Though it may seem impossible at


times, many people go on to end abusive relationships and find safety in
healthy relationships.

Causes of Trauma Bonding


Trauma bonding can occur in any situation of abuse, no matter how long
or short an amount of time it lasts.

That said, it is most likely to happen in a situation where the abuser


makes a point of expressing love to the person they are abusing, and
where they act as if the abuse will not happen again after each time it
does. It's that combination of abuse and positive reinforcement that
creates the trauma bond or the feeling of the abused that the abuser isn't
all bad.

There are many types of abusive situations in which trauma bonding can
occur, and emotional attachments are common in abusive situations. 6

It's important to note that trauma bonding does not mean bonding with


another person over shared traumas; but rather, a bond that a survivor of
abuse feels toward the person perpetrating the abuse.
Trauma bonds are nothing to be ashamed of, as they result from our
brains looking for survival methods. Also referred to as paradoxical
attachment,7 this phenomenon can occur due to a wide variety of
situations. Here are the most common ones:

 Domestic abuse
 Incest
 Kidnapping
 Sexual abuse
 Cults
 Elder abuse
 Human trafficking

It may be difficult to understand how someone in such a terrible situation


like one of the above could have feelings of love, dependence, or concern
for the person or people abusing them. While you may not understand it if
you've never been in a situation yourself that involved cyclical abuse, it's
pretty straightforward.

The bond forms out of the basic human need for attachment as a means
of survival. From there, an abuse victim may become dependent on their
abuser. Add in a cycle in which an abuser promises never to repeat the
abuse and gains the victim's trust repeatedly, and you have a complex
emotional situation that affects even people who seem very emotionally
strong.

Risk Factors for Trauma Bonding


The following may make someone more susceptible to trauma bonding in
abusive relationships:8

 Attachment insecurity
 Childhood maltreatment
 Exposure to abusive relationships growing up
 Lack of social support
 Low self-esteem

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