UNTAMED

A novel from The Legacy Wife and The Ring Fire

CHAPTER 01
SPHAKAMISO

I came all the way here with a car that

can break at anytime. I don’t know if I
can say love led me, or if it’s just lust
mixed with desperation and sorrow. I
miss Mkhuleko so much. Malibongwe
has Miyanda, Nombuso has her
boyfriend and new sisters that she
talks to, I have never been close to
Mpatho and I don’t think I ever will,
not in that way. I long for someone to
check up on me and listen to my
thoughts. And Nokwanda happens to
be that one person who knows which
buttons to press to take me out of
misery.
I told her I had arrived in Ballito
where she said she’s having lunch. She
didn’t mention being with a male. But
then again, Nokwanda doesn’t care
much about what we have. It’s just a
fling, a “give-me-your-dick and I-will-
open-my-legs”. I know it raises
eyebrows when I say I’m not into
casual flings given how I got my son.
But I’m not, I hate myself for allowing
Nokwanda to do this to me.
“Who is this?” I can’t even control my
anger.
It’s a hotel full of her, this fool, and
white people.
“This is Wise, I told you about him.
Sphakamiso meet Wise, Wise meet
Sphakamiso,” she does her
introductions.
What’s more shocking is that this fool
thinks I’m going to shake his hand.
“I want to talk to you,” I say to her,
sounding a bit dictating.
“Sit, I ordered something for you as
well,” she says.
What is this? Uthando Nesthembu?
I’m doing no double date, I want to
talk to her, her alone.
“Are you coming or not?” I ask.
She raises her drawn eyebrows.
I’m not playing games, I travelled
miles to be with her.
“Are you threatening her?” asks the
fool next to her.
I don’t know where he comes from,
but even if his home language is
Chinese, if I start threatening he won’t
need to be told, he will know that I’m
threatening and he will shake.
“Nokwanda?” I look at her,
impatiently waiting for her decision.
She takes a deep breath and looks at
her main-nigga. “I will be back,” she
says.
I head towards the exit, we will talk in
the car.

I’m angry and beside. Mpatho says I

have anger problems, I hate his
opinions but he may be right. I’m not
normal when I’m angry. I just wish
Nokwanda can stop pushing me
against this Wise guy. Now it’s
starting to look intentional, I don’t
want to fight over a girl. I have done
enough of that in the past.
I open the door for her. This is the
only Tazz parked here, it looks so out
of place.
“Why are you mad at me?” she asks.
“I’m not, please get inside the car, we
have to talk.”
She’s hesitant and I hate that she looks
scared because of my face. I’m not
going to hurt her, I will never do that.
I take a few deep breaths before
turning to the other side and getting
inside.
“Nokwanda, what do you want?” This
is the second time I’m asking this.
“You came all the way here to ask me
that?” She looks at me with confusion.
I didn’t come here to ask that, I came
to spend time with her, but then I
found her with Wise.
“I just don’t understand why you’re
trying so much to hurt me. You came
into my life, Nokwanda. I didn’t go
after you, you came to me. You made
me feel like we can have something.
But now you’re posting other men on
your Whatsapp and planting evidence
everywhere that you’re fucking other
guys. What is this?”
I look at her expecting an answer but
none comes.
“I get that you’re young but I’m 28
years old, I’m not going to do this
hide&seek,” I say.
“Then don’t,” she says.
“What do you mean?” This girl is
breaking my heart, she’s making sure
of it.
“Block me so that you won’t see what
I post. And don’t call me asking to
meet up. I’m fucking other guys,
right?”
“Are you not?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” she says.
I shut my eyes for two seconds and
breathe.
“But you have a choice to choose your
peace, I’m not worth it,” she says.
It sounds like she’s breaking up with
me. I didn’t say I want to choose
anything over her.
“If I spoke badly I’m sorry,” I say.
“Okay. Can I go now?”
“No, please.”
She sighs. “What now?”
“I came all the way here and you’re
not even giving me 10 minutes of your
time.” I can’t believe this is me,
begging a polygamous girl to give me
attention.
“We can stay in the car or go
somewhere quiet,” I say.
“Let’s go to Salt Rock,” she says.
I don’t know places around here, so I
let her take the wheel and take us
there.

It’s clearly a white suburb. My chest

starts drumming when I see her
driving in a big mansion. I don’t want
any trouble with her father.
“Relax, nobody is here and this is not
Nkatha’s house,” she says, easing my
nerves.
I still don’t know why she calls her
father by name, but then again she
gets away with everything.
My poor Tazz, I don’t think it has ever
parked across the swimming pool.
Right now lust is leading, I’m not in
my head. I’m entering this huge
mansion whose owner I don’t even
know.
She opens the refrigerator. It’s a
drinks-only refrigerator, like in
grocery shops. The fridge back home
stores everything; half-drank sodas,
left-overs, vegetables and fruits,
medicines and meat.
I ask for water, I don’t need sugar, not
now.
She sips her ice-tea and then smiles at
me. First smile today, she’s no longer
scared of me.
“I have never seen you in a shirt. So
smart and formal,” she says.
Well, I was making an effort for her
and I ended up looking stupid.
“I’m wearing something even more
stunning underneath,” I say.
“Mmmm. Can I see?” She comes and
unbuttons my shirt.
She leaves the vest on.
“Under this?” she asks.
“Yes, it’s under the vest,” I say.
She takes it off. I’m left topless. Even
though I have no abs to flaunt, I’m
back in a good shape after my physical
and emotional breakdown last year.
“This is a good view!” she brushes my
chest.
I grab her behind, I’m hard already.
“I miss you,” I say.
I’m far away from any sense, even
common sense.
She drops her hands to her boobs and
squeezes them while staring right at
me.
“What do you miss?” she asks.
My dick starts throbbing behind my
pants.
“Just you baby,” I say.
“Just me?” She smiles.
“Yeah.” I pull her for a kiss.
My body is aching for her. I want to be
inside her. She’s giggling as I break
the kiss and push her down on the
floor, luckily there’s a fluffy carpet
close to us. I kiss her again, opening
her legs to touch her warm cookie. She
loves G-strings, my finger slides in to
her soft walls in a hurry.
“Ngikukhumbula ngempela
Nokwanda, I really do miss you.” I’m
desperate as I sound. Despite
everything that she does, I did miss
her badly.
“Put a condom on and eat your
cookie,” she says.
I don’t know what her words do to
me, but I feel shivers all over my body.
Finding the condom in her bag is a
struggle. She always has good quality
ones, I put it on and kneel between her
legs again. She lifts her legs up to her
shoulders.
“Yoh, Nokwanda!” I have never had
anyone give me like this. I’m seeing
everything inside her pinkish walls.
She always keeps her cookie so clean
and appetizing.
I moisten her; rubbing her wetness
around her opening. She’s slippery
enough for me to get in. She feels like
heaven, I’m whimpering like a sick
puppy, her name won’t leave my
mouth. What is this girl feeding me?
“Nokwanda, please!” I’m in too deep,
her walls are tight around me.
I feel all the knots in my body
loosening.
“Yes Phaka?” She’s grabbing on my
butt.
Then it starts feeling different, like
she’s spanking me.
Discomfort mixed with pleasure can
make you explode.
I feel the need to confess before I do.
“I want to be the only one Nokwanda,
please.” I don’t want to keep sharing
like this.
I need to know this is my territory. I
want to feel safe.
“Okay baby,” she says.
I kiss her lips, they’re soft and cold. I
really can’t share this.
“Kumnandi kakhulu sthandwa sami,
this is so good.” I kid you not, she’s a
different taste.
And I can only hold in for so long. My
whole body trembles, it feels like
heaven.

I’m holding her body against mine. I

really don’t want to go. But I don’t
know where I am and the more I think
about it, the more I realize how
dangerous lust can be.
“I wish we can plan another time, so
that I can organize a place where we
can spend quality time together. I
really enjoy being with you,
Nokwanda.” I take a deep sigh and
kiss her forehead.
Small but mighty. It’s been so long
since I had this kind of physical
attraction towards anyone.
“But you’re working,” she says.
“Not all the time and I can always
make time for us.” I lift her chin with
my hand. “Please look at me,” I say.
She looks up, she looks really fucked,
she’s exhausted.
“I meant what I said,” I say.
“What did you say?” she asks.
“I said I can no longer do this sharing
thing. I really can’t, and if I have to
prove myself to you, I will put an
effort,” I tell her.
“Well, your efforts will tell. Want one
last round before we go?”
One day I will die and the cause of
death will be too much kuku.
CHAPTER 02
SPHAKAMISO

I tried to channel my thoughts away

from the Mhlongo issue. My focus is
on work, Aphelele and…yes,
Nokwanda. I’m keeping tabs on her
like a professional FBI. I don’t know if
I’m getting too desperate, but she’s no
longer giving me the same attention as
before. I may have dragged my feet in
the beginning and let her down a few
times. But I’m what she wanted now,
am I not? I text every morning, I ask
for meet-ups, I show that I respect her.
What does she want? This question is
still not answered.
“I’m leaving,” Nombuso says, coming
from the back with her bag.
We are at Unified, it’s working hours.
“It’s 1pm,” I say.
“I know. I have to do shopping,
remember Miyanda can’t do groceries
with a little baby. How much are you
contributing?” She takes out her black
purse and opens it, waiting for the
machine to cough out the money.
“Since when do I contribute to the
grocery?” I ask.
We have a big brother for that. I’m
saving up to go and pay for Aphelele’s
damages.
“You eat more now, Sphakamiso. You
eat for two people. Where do you
think you’re getting this weight?” she
asks.
I know I eat a bit more now that my
head is in the right place. But grocery
contribution?
“Did Malibongwe say this?” I ask.
“Leave it!” She throws her purse back
inside the bag and walks out.
Was I being scammed?
“Nombuso, you can’t just walk out
from work, it’s unprofessional.” I’m
telling this to nobody, she’s gone. I
will need Malibongwe to come here
for a day, just to have an insight of
how working with Nombuso is like.
-
-
-

I’m not expecting a plate of food from

Nombuso. I know she’s mad about me
not giving her the money to go and
spend on goodies, because there’s no
way she now buys groceries in the
middle of the month. But Miyanda is
here, I will not go to bed in an empty
stomach, that I know for sure. Not
under her watch.
“Hey,” she says to me, joining us on
the table.
I take Ima, I don’t see him much
because I wake up everyday, go to
work and come back late. I last saw
Manzi when they were being
exchanged. I feel bad about it because
regardless of my history with his
parents, he’s still my nephew too and I
love him so much.
“How is he treating you?” I ask.
Miyanda smiles, “Beside being fussy,
he’s a good boy.”
I don’t know how to describe Miyanda
because the word perfect doesn’t do
her justice. I will just say every man
would be lucky to get someone like
her in life. I love the aura her presence
brings. She’s here man, we can all feel
it. We are not walking around
eggshells but even Nombuso knows,
we cannot just wild out. Malibongwe
holds her in a high standard and we
try by all means to respect her
position.
He joins us last. It still feels strange not
to have Ma, Mkhuleko and Yoli on the
table with us. A huge part of us was
taken away. But Ma and Yoli’s case is
better because I know where they are.
But my brother, Mkhuleko! My heart
bleeds for him.
I try not to think about him too much.
But I pray for him everyday. We all
do.
“Can we talk about something?” I ask
Malibongwe.
I want him to address his sister’s work
ethics.
“I also want to talk to you
Malibongwe,” she meddles and
interrupts me.
Malibongwe is not sure who to attend
to first. I’m not a drama king, I let her
go first.
“Where do I lay a complaint about bad
management at work?” she asks.
It seems like we both want to discuss
work-related matters.
“I’d like to know about reporting a
lazy employee who goes in and out as
she pleases. Talk back to management
and say what she will do and not do.”
That’s my own, I need some people to
get disciplinary hearings.
“Please figure it out, guys,”
Malibongwe says.
I can’t say I expected him to say more,
because he never does. I eat my food, I
will start exercising my power now, I
will not let her disrespect me. If she
continues like this she will get fired. If
Malibongwe has a problem, I will fire
him too.
“Nombuso please remember that at
work he’s not your little brother, he’s
your manager,” he finally says.
I didn’t expect that, neither did
Nombuso.
“Are you saying I’m the one who’s
wrong?” Nombuso.
“No, this is a separate statement,” he
says.
I love my sister and I’m very mature,
but a win is a win. I’m smiling and
she’s annoyed to the core.
We have our dinner over light
conversations then Malibongwe and
his little family go to bed. I don’t think
Nombuso is still talking to me. She
clears the table and disappears in the
kitchen.
I don’t know how we are still keeping
it together. Our family has changed
from what we know. So many people
are gone.
I call Nokwanda, she still hasn’t
responded to any of my messages.
“Hello,” she picks up.
I feel some relief hearing her voice.
“Hey unjani?” I ask.
“I’m okay, and you?”
“Not good. Why are you blue-ticking
me?”
“I was still going to answer,” she says,
slightly giggling.
Maybe I am a bit clingy, I accept.
“What are you doing there?
Ngikukhumbule,” I ask.
“Waiting for dinner,” she says.
“Oh, you’re cooking?” I can imagine
her in the kitchen.
“I don’t cook, I’m waiting for a
delivery,” she says.
I should have known yazi.
“Okay. I miss you, Nokwanda,” I say.
“I miss you too,” she says.
I’m smiling like a fool.
“When am I going to see you?”
“I don’t know, I have plans this
week.”
She’s slipping away, I don’t know
what went wrong.
“Can’t you give two hours of your
time to us, just two hours?” I don’t
think she knows how much I miss her.
I can’t stop thinking about her.
Someone stops behind me. Nombuso.
I tell Nokwanda I will call her back
because my sister has decided to
eavesdrop.
“So uyajola?” she asks.
“No, I’m not dating and it’s none of
your business.”
“Well, I heard that she doesn’t want to
see you.” She grabs a seat and looks at
me with anticipation. “Come on,
everyone comes to me for relationship
advice.”
“Who is everyone?” I ask, I have never
seen anyone coming to her.
“People in general. Malibongwe and
Miyanda are together because of my
expertise. So who is it? You’re my
young brother here, not my manager,
talk to me.”
Crap! Everyone knows that she didn’t
want Miyanda anywhere near
Malibongwe when they started.
“Even Mpatho and Phume,” she says.
“Traitor!” I say.
She laughs. I laugh too, I have made
peace with that part of my life. I tell
her everything. She also shares about
Mapholoba, sometimes she shares too
much and forget that I’m still her
brother. Our relationship is the
weirdest. And as I suspected, she has
no solid advice to give, just judgment
and criticism all the way. Nokwanda
is not my type, she will break my
heart- Nombuso is telling me
everything I don’t want to hear.
-
-
-

Nombuso wakes me up early in the

morning saying Mpatho is here to see
me. He moved out of the village after
their home burned down. I see less of
them, which is better. We are in a
better place now, me and him. But our
relationship will never be solid, it can
end with just one phone call from me
to Phume.
Mpatho did me dirty in the past, over
an arranged wife I didn’t even know
was his. I have a criminal record and
scars on my body because of him. I
know he went to the Mhlongos with
MaNhleko, I appreciate that a lot even
though I’m scared of what they
could’ve found there.
I’m already late for work, I overslept.
I walk in, he’s drinking a cup of tea,
dressed formally for office.
“Sho!” I sit on the chair.
“How is it going?” he asks.
“No complaints,” I say.
“Well, as Malibongwe told you,
MaNhleko and I went to see Mrs
Mhlongo. We received a warm
welcome regardless of everything. She
is looking forward to meeting you.”
This is a huge relief. It feels like
something has just been shed off my
shoulder. Now I know that I belong
somewhere, I have a second home.
“Aphelele was there too, he doesn’t
know me,” he says with a grin.
“I miss that little boy, yoh!” Nombuso.
I don’t say anything. Her and I are
okay, but I’m still not comfortable
bringing my son back to this
environment. He is more than fine
with Aunt Teekay. It’s a big
coincidence that my son’s godmother
happens to be my stepmother’s
biological sister. What a small world!
“Thank you Mpatho,” I say.
“No worries! She’s expecting you to
visit soon.”
I’m looking forward to it. Malibongwe
walks in.
“I’m going to plan during the
weekend,” I say.
Malibongwe stands next to me,
“You’re still a Mcineka. You’re just a
Mhlongo by blood, since nobody is
responsible to come and pay for the
damages that Mhlongo did, including
a proper apology.”
“So he can’t change his surname?”
Nombuso asks, grabbing my hand and
holding it.
Weird!
“Unfortunately there’s nobody there.
Just the mother and her daughter
who’s about to get married. We can’t
expect the daughter to pay for her
father cheating on her mother. Her
father’s brother is in prison, serving 15
years,” Mpatho says.
I’m disappointed but I understand.
Nondu cannot pay for the damages
and come to face the Mcinekas, those
people will not make it easy.
“It's okay, thank you once again,” I
say.
I should get ready for work. I’m both
disappointed and happy. It’s not all
that I wanted but at least now I have
clarity and direction. On a positive
note, being a Mcineka is no longer that
bad. I don’t think I would’ve wanted
to move to Mandeni and live with the
Mhlongos anyway. I’m addicted to the
Mcineka toxicity; that’s the only life I
know.
CHAPTER 03
NONDUMEZULU MHLONGO

I have a brother. Nzuzo and Enhle

now have an uncle. But as exciting as
all this feels, my mother’s feelings still
got hurt. She hasn’t said anything yet.
Yesterday the Vilakazis, led by a
double-muscled man came here to
explain the situation. Even if she
wanted to interrogate them and turn
them away, she couldn’t disappoint
everyone. Salo, Aunt Teekay, Aphelele
and Nzuzo are members of this family
and they are Team Sphakamiso. So she
had to put her feelings aside and be
welcoming. It happened 28 years ago,
my father is dead to answer any of her
questions.
I knocked off from work and came
home. Enhle will be with Masentle
after his nanny leaves, Nkalipho is
coming home late today. I see Nzuzo
every weekend but it still feels
strange; I have two kids but I only live
with one. He’s happy to see me, I can’t
believe how tall he’s growing.
I can’t lift him up and swing him
around anymore. I hug him and beg
for a kiss.
“You have left Enhle?” he asks.
Unfortunately my kids still don’t get
along.
“I’m just here to check on you guys, I
can’t leave Enhle, she’s a baby,” I say.
“Why can’t she just grow up?” This
Enhle thing pisses the hell out of him.
But his question makes sense. Why
can’t Enhle just grow up?
I give him my phone and pull him
inside. My mother is cooking in the
kitchen. I greet and put the goodie-bag
on the counter.
“You didn’t tell us that you’re
coming,” she says, wiping her hands.
“I would’ve cooked earlier.”
“Don’t worry Ma, I’m sure Masentle
cooked already,” I say.
“You’re such a disappointment
Nondu kodwa mntanami. You really
let your mother-in-law cook for you
and your fiancee? And you call her
name. What kind of embarrassment is
this?”
She’s old school, expecting a woman
to slave for the in-laws.
“They don’t mind,” I say.
“Nonsense! Nkalipho paid full lobola
for you. Do you want juice? I was
about to make a snack for your son,”
she asks.
“Yes, please.” I go to the lounge and
switch the TV on while watching.
I don’t know how I’m going to start
the conversation. My mother is still
black and Zulu, she’s not just going to
open up about her feelings to a child.

She comes in with biscuits and juice

for both Nzuzo and I. Nzuzo takes his
to the room with my phone.
“How are you?” I ask.
“Me? I’m okay, your son is just giving
me grey hair,” she says.
“I’m asking this based on what we
recently found out. How are you
feeling about MaVilakazi and dad?”
I’m very bold to ask this.
Her face says I’ve crossed the line.
“Why are you asking me this at your
age?”
I can just roll my eyes right now.
“You’re my mother, I care about your
feelings,” I say.
“Well, they are both dead. I can’t hold
an innocent child responsible for his
mother and father’s sins,” she says.
“I know but I’m sure you feel
betrayed. I don’t know what I’d do if
Nkalipho make a child and hide him
from me. It’s cruel to both you and
Sphakamiso. He didn’t have a great
childhood,” I say.
“I know Nondumezulu, don’t worry
I’m not going to be an evil stepmother
to your newly-found brother,” she
says.
“It’s not like I’m rejoicing over your
misery.” I mean, it’s a sad situation
and I’m not that excited about.
She lowers her eyes, giving me a look.
“Are you sure?”
My mother though!
“I’m happy, just a little bit,” I say.
She laughs, “I know you’re happy,
don’t feel bad about it. I hope he will
visit soon, I can’t wait to see the
photocopy of my cheating husband.”
I can’t believe my father has ruined his
reputation from the grave. He will
now be remembered as a cheating
husband, child-dumping father and
home-wrecker. I’m disappointed in
him, however I appreciate the results
of his cheating.
Salo is calling me…
“I have to take this, it’s my boss’
girlfriend,” I tell my mother.
Salo and Nkatha are official, they’re
sealing it very soon.
“Hey sisi,” I answer.
“Nondu!” she sighs heavily.
“Is it Nokwanda’s mom again?”
“Nope, it’s Nokwanda herself. Can I
ask MaNkosi how she dealt with you
during your days with Solwazi?”
Really now? I wasn’t that much of a
trouble.
“What has she done?” I ask.
“They had a fight, she drove off. It’s
been hours, she’s not answering our
calls, now he’s feeling like a bad
father,” she says.
“She will calm down and come back.
At least she drove off, not many black
children get that opportunity, we
normal walk to the back of the house
and cry.” I cannot relate to
Nokwanda’s problems.
“She left her credit card Nondu.” She’s
so worried.
“That’s sad. I hope she reaches out, we
don’t want her crying in her father’s
penthouse without her credit card,
now do we?” I sympathize with them.
“You’re such a clown. Kiss Enhle for
me,” she says and drops the call.
My mother is staring at me like I owe
her a summary.
-
-
-

I came home earlier than I usually do

because I wanted to cook my turn.
Miyanda always cooks for me but
today I wanted her to rest. I want to
have an early night, my body doesn’t
get enough rest lately.
Malibongwe knocks, just as I’m about
to call it a day.
What is it that he couldn’t discuss
during dinner?
“You need to buy a new bed,” he says.
This is why I don’t like people coming
to my room.
Is the bed complaining?
“I want to talk about Mkhuleko, I
know you also think about him a lot.”
He says lowering himself on my old,
single bed.
“I can’t wait any longer,” he says.
“Neither can I. But we have to wait for
a sign and stay positive for his sake,” I
say.
“I can’t, he’s too young for this. I want
to know that at least he’s okay. I want
to insult a seer,” he says.
“What did Sis’ Miyanda say?” I ask.
“I didn’t tell her,” he says.
“And Nombuso?” I ask.
“I will tell her when I come back.”
Yoh, I don’t know what to think. I do
want to know about Mkhuleko and his
journey wherever he is, but I also
don’t want to ruin it by getting my
emotions involved.
“If it’s not something good can you
please not tell me?” I ask.
He nods, “I won’t. Beside this, wena
uright?”
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I say.
“Cool. Let me not keep you up. Don’t
forget to close the window in
Mkhuleko’s room.” He gets up and
leaves.
I’m getting in bed, nothing is keeping
me up. As usual, I cannot get gold of
Nokwanda, my texts are ignored. I
don’t know if I should just forget
about her, after all I hadn’t planned on
being in a relationship this year.
-
-
-

I hear my phone ringing from far. I

open my eyes, indeed it’s my phone. I
heard it from sleep, someone is calling
me restlessly. I pull it under the pillow
without checking the name.
“Hey Sphakamiso,” she says.
Everything wears off. It’s Nokwanda
and it’s 10pm.
“Nokwanda?” I’m shocked.
“Am I at the right place?”
God, she sounds very drunk.
“What do you mean? Where are you?”
I sit up.
“In your village…I’m seeing a school.
Are there criminals here? I don’t want
to be hijacked.”
This got to be a joke!
“Whose village?” I ask.
“Your village, I want to see you.”
The Lord chose to answer my prayers
like this? Wow.
“Okay, you’re next to the school,
right?” I ask, pulling up my pants.
She doesn’t give an answer but she’s
still on the line.
“Nokwanda?” I’m panicking a bit.
Cars do get hijacked here.
Oops, not anymore, Malibongwe has
retired.
“Yes, the tall one…I don’t know his
sister…Yeah, that’s one with dark skin
and big head,” she’s talking to
someone on the side.
At 10pm she’s talking to strangers,
WTF!
“Nokwa…” She drops my call.
I get up and put my shirt and shoes
on. I’m trying to call her back with no
avail. If anything happens to this girl it
will be on me.

I don’t walk two yard before I see

headlights over the hill. That’s her,
she’s coming here at night
unannounced. I’ve never had a girl
just visiting me except that one time
when Phume was kicked out and
homeless, I brought her here after
getting my mother’s permission.
CHAPTER 04
SPHAKAMISO

I badly wanted to see her. I missed

her. But this is not how I wanted it to
happen. She’s drunk, I have never
shared a bed with a drunk girl in my
whole life. She’s lying in bed with her
sneakers on, blabbering about her
father’s unfairness.
I think something happened, her
phone keeps ringing, her father’s
name pops up. But I can’t answer for
her.
“Just text him and tell him that you’re
okay,” I say.
“You text him. I want nothing to do
with Nkatha.” She throws her phone
to me.
I’m hesitant but I have to do it before
her father hires people to track her
down and end up accusing me of
kidnapping. I write in full words and
keep it short. Then I put the phone on
silence.
I look at her, she’s fallen asleep.

It doesn’t take long before I see that

the outside light from main house has
been turned on. It’s either Malibongwe
or Nombuso. I have to go and explain
whose car is outside the yard.
It’s both of them.
“Is this your guest?” Malibongwe
asks.
“Yeah, I’m sorry to give you a fright,
she didn’t inform me.”
“She?” he asks, alarmed.
“Yes,” I nod.
“Don’t tell me you have the doctor’s
daughter here.”
Well, it is what it is.
“She just came without telling me,” I
say.
“Does her father know that she’s with
you?”
“Yes.” Telling half truth won’t hurt
anyone.
Nombuso clears her throat, “Are you
talking about Nokwanda, the girl who
made you her number 6 boyfriend.”
I never said I’m number 6, I said she’s
talking to other guys.
“What is she doing here?” Nombuso
will blow this out of proportion.
“Can she sleep over? She can’t drive
home, she’s drunk,” I ask.
Their silence is loud. Maybe I
shouldn’t have said the last part.
“Is that what her father taught her? To
get drunk and go to boys? Won’t she
accuse you of things tomorrow when
she’s sober?” Nombuso.
“I won’t do anything to her,” I say.
“Siyoyicela ivuthiwe!” She turns and
goes back inside the house.
It’s clear she doesn’t like Nokwanda
that much.
Malibongwe is giving me a look I
don’t understand.
“What is going on between you and
this girl?” he asks.
“We haven’t defined it yet,” I say.
“So you’re just swimming in the
community pool with five other guys.
What if she gets pregnant?” he asks.
“She won’t,” I say.
“What do you mean she won’t? You’re
intimate with her and awuchami
amanzi kapopo.” He’s not happy and
his concerns are valid. But Nokwanda
and I always play it safe.
“Free sex may be nice but it’s no use
risking your life for someone who
doesn’t even love you. You have
Aphelele, he needs your attention. We
don’t want to see you getting hurt
again,” he says.
“I’m not going to get hurt,” I say.
“Alright, if you say so.” He walks
away.
I take a deep breath and return back to
my room.
-
-
-

Soft pats on my shoulder wake me up.

I open my eyes and instantly
remember my drunk guest.
“Sphakamiso, I want to pee,” she says.
“I will get a bucket,” I say, stretching
my arms.
“I want to pee,” she emphasizes.
“I will get a bucket, the toilet is
outside the yard.”
She frowns, “What?”
“It’s outside the yard, not here.”
“I can drive there instead of peeing
inside a bucket like I’m gravely sick.”
“Don’t worry, I will give you privacy
and stand outside,” I say.
“No, that’s disgusting nje.” She gets
up, only wearing her gym bra and
leggings
She takes her car keys.
“You can actually walk there, it’s
outside the yard, not in another
village,” I say.
“What about the dog that I heard
barking?” she asks.
“Ruby is harmless. Come, I will go
with you.” I just want her to put down
the car keys, some neighbors are
awake already. Who drives to the
toilet? Nobody.
We come back, I give her warm water
to freshen up. Nombuso is up,
sweeping the yard and singing. It’s too
early, she just wants to disturb the
peace. After Nokwanda has bathed I
go and warm the food. It’s yesterday’s
leftovers, we don’t eat bread for
breakfast everyday. I know she might
not be used to this but she came here
on her own, I wasn’t prepared for
anything.
“Please move the car, I want to hang
my laundry,” Nombuso says as I pass
her.
“The car is not next to the line,” I say.
“Yeah but it’s going to shield the sun
when it comes out.” I know when she
gets provocative like this, she wants to
start a fight because she dislikes
Nokwanda. I did this. I knew how she
reacts to things, I saw it with
Malibongwe and Miyanda, but I still
told her negative things about my
relationship with Nokwanda.
“She’s going to leave. Can you be nice
for two hours?” I ask.
She sings loud: “Ngiyayesaba inkomo
esengwa yiviyo!!!”
I want the earth to open up and
swallow me.
When I walk in to Nokwanda I’m just
worried about what she thinks about
all of this.
“Who is that Adele?” she asks.
“My sister, Nombuso,” I say.
Nombuso is still singing about inkomo
esengwa yiviyo. But it looks like
Nokwanda’s understanding of Zulu is
not that deep.
I close the door to block out the noise.
It’s 6:25am, I need to open the shop at
8am. She’s not eating by the way; she
just looked at it and pursed her lips.
“I didn’t expect you to come here,
especially after ignoring my texts like
that,” I say.
“I wasn’t ignoring you,” she says with
a grin.
She was ignoring me and she knows
it.
“Why Nokwanda?” I ask.
“We talk when we see each other nje,”
she says.
“But I told you how I feel,” I say.
She smiles, her eyelashes droop down.
I don’t know but she looks so damn
sexy doing that thing.
“I know how you feel vele,” she says.
I’m confused.
“When you are inside me,” she says.
This girl, fuck!
“I’m serious Nokwanda. I do love sex,
a lot. Mostly because I didn’t become
intimate until too late and it was
inconsistent. For the longest time I
didn’t have sex, I’d snoop around here
and there but it wasn’t intimate. So
what I’m trying to say is that I love
love more than I love sex.” I should’ve
just went straight to the point, so
many unnecessary details.
“You love love?” She looks confused
and amused at the same time.
“Yes. I want to have a random chat
with you after a long at work. I want
cuddles, I want giggles, I want to be
wanted emotionally, not just sexually.
I want the whole package, not just
sex,” I say.
She just looks at me, I don’t know if
she understands my point.
“I don’t want to keep having casual
sex with you. I want us to define what
is it that we have, if how I feel is
mutual then I want exclusivity,” I say.
“Why?” she asks.
I didn’t expect that.
“Because I’m attracted to you beyond
what your body has to offer. I want to
explore what I feel for you with you,
in more than one way. I want to love
and to be loved back,” I say.
“Okay, but I’m kinda hung-over right
now, we will revisit this
conversation,” she says.
“Do you want me to make you
something hot or black tea?” I ask.
“Nah, thanks,” she declines.
I think she’s a bit stuck-up. I dated a
millionaire’s daughter and she ate my
mother’s samp and tripe. Nokwanda
has a habit of wanting to bruise my
feelings.
I remove the plate in front of her
because clearly she has no appetite for
anything that comes from a home that
raised this dick she runs after.
“I will walk you out,” I say.
She furrows her brows. “You look
angry. You need to work on your
anger management. I can ask my
father to link you up with a therapist.”
“No, thanks,” I politely decline.
I don’t need her father to do anything
for me.
She smiles and runs her finger up on
my shoulder.
“Or, I can calm you down on my own.
Special services by Nokwanda.” She’s
removing her gym bra.
I stop her hand. “Nokwanda, I just
told you this is not what I want.”
“Me? You don’t want me?” She
squeezes her boob, narrowing her
eyes.
“I want you but you’re not defining
where I stand with you. What is this
called?” I’m softening up, I can’t help
it.
Nokwanda has me by balls.
“We like each other, don’t we?” she
asks.
I take a deep breath, her soft hands are
all over my chest. I lie down on my
back, she sits on my waist. It’s barely 3
minutes later and I’m smiling, ready
to betray my own feelings to feed
physical desires.
I don’t know if we have the same
ambitions. If she wants to have kids
and settle down before 35. Can she
even be a village wife?
She gently rubs her lips against mine,
then slowly opens them to latch on my
lower lip. She kisses me slowly, with
her eyes closed. I can feel the
connection between us. I think it’s
what makes her keep coming back.
She takes out her leggings, I grab on
her soft ass. There’s no turning back,
my body will fall apart if I’m not
inside her in the next minute. But
there’s only one hiccup; I cleaned my
room before the funeral to
accommodate guests.
“I don’t think I have a condom here,” I
say, in a trembling whisper.
“Oh shit!” She releases a deep sigh.
She wants me so bad, it makes me
harder.
“Unless if you allow me to pull out,” I
say.
“Your Life Sciences teacher said that
works?”
I laugh. She’s right, that’s not 100%
protection.
“You will grab a pill on the way
home,” I say.
“You will pay for it, ne?” She raises
her eyebrow.
“I can afford a pill Nokwanda,” I say.
“Okay, black boy!” She comes for a
deep kiss.
I can feel her wetness on my thigh. We
are both thinking with our sexual
organs. I just want her to ride me like
a horse. I want to be buried deep
inside her.
She’s slippery, soft and warm.
Everytime I get inside her it feels like
my first time. Maybe what they say
about girls who sleep around a lot is
true. She’s always so tight. I don’t
know if it’s natural or she’s swollen
from another dick. All I know is that I
get so much pleasure inside her.
“Nokwanda!” I call her name in the
bubble of pleasure.
“Yes baby!” She’s moving her waist in
circles.
It feels like I’m going to explode.
“I love you, please don’t let me down,
don’t disappoint me Nokwanda.” I’m
ready to give love another chance, I
want to start over again, with her.
“I won’t let you down, Sphakamiso,”
she promises.
CHAPTER 05
NONDUMEZULU MHLONGO

We are getting in a better place, I

think. It will take time for us to get
back to where we were because now I
know how deep his dark past goes.
Sometimes I look at him and worry
that next year might be another year
where he relives his cruelty. He did
cleanse but I cannot be sure that he’s
now completely clean. I have to wait a
year or two before believing that he’s a
changed man.
He's been coming home late because
of work. Today he’s coming with a
bunch of flowers.
“Are those guilty flowers?” I ask.
“They are,” he says, giving his
lopsided smile.
I take them, he kisses my cheek.
“How was your day?” he asks.
“My boss was not in a good mood but
I worked normal hours and I’m
getting paid tomorrow,” I say.
“Oh, should I expect anything?”
“From my salary?” I’m shocked.
Are men animals?
He chuckles, “Even if it’s just one
beer.”
“I will take from Enhle’s money,” I
say.
“You’re so stingy. Anyway I think I’m
going to clear my schedule this
coming weekend, I want us to go
away and recharge. We will ask Ma
for Nzuzo and go with the kids,” he
says.
“That’s very thoughtful of you, but my
brother is coming during the
weekend, I have to be home,” I say.
He’s disappointed, I can see.
“We can move it to the following
week,” I say.
“I was looking forward to it. We
haven’t spent much quality time as a
family. I want a chance to bring peace
between Nzuzo and Enhle,” he says.
I laugh thinking about that one-sided
beef.
“He asked me why can’t Enhle just
grow up,” I tell him.
“It’s not funny Nondu, I think he’s
really uncomfortable with a sibling.
Remember Nzuzo is different, he
thinks and feels about things
differently. He feels threatened and I
want him to be sure that no number of
new babies will take his place in our
hearts. Solwazi might have chosen
other kids over him but me and you
will never.”
Now I feel bad for laughing about the
situation. Nkalipho makes so much
sense. Nzuzo knows how rejection
feels like, that’s why he’s mad at
Enhle.
This makes loathe Solwazi even more.
“I want to take him to court,” I say.
He frowns, “Nzuzo?”
“No, his father. I want him to sign his
rights away and I want you to legally
adopt Nzuzo,” I say.
“We are black, babe,” he says.
Yes, we are black. So what? Many
black kids get damaged by bad
parenthood and stick it up because of
cultural ties.
“It’s been months, he hasn’t reached
out, not visited, not sent even a text to
ask if he’s still alive. I’m done letting
him in and out of my son’s life. He
knows the kind of a child Nzuzo is
and he still does this to him.”
“Okay, come here.” He wraps his
arms around me and kisses my
forehead. I know when he doesn’t
agree with me but sparing my
feelings, this is one of those cases.
I’m going to call Samantha and see if
she’s willing to have a conversation. I
think this is what she wanted anyway.
I will legally make her husband son-
less.
-
-
SPHAKAMISO

I have looked forward to this day ever

since I found out that I’m not
biologically a Mcineka. But now that
it’s here I’m getting cold feet. Mpatho
says the wife was kind, she even made
lunch for them. But nothing changes
the fact that I’m a product of her
husband’s infidelity and she will
never find closure because both him
and his side-chick are dead.
Nombuso walks in and raises her
eyebrows.
“You’re still not dressed? Didn’t you
bath two hours ago?”
“I will go tomorrow,” I say.
“Hhayi-bo Sphakamiso, they’re
waiting for you. Just go, what worse
could happen? MaNhleko and
Nkosiyazi already went there,” she
says.
“I’m just not in a good space, I don’t
want to get there and be
disappointed,” I say.
She folds her arms, glaring at me. “Is
she returning your calls?”
“Who?” I ask.
“Nokwanda,” she says.
I remember that I left my sneakers
outside the door, Ruby will drag them
outside the yard and act like she
didn’t do anything.
“Sphakamiso, I’m asking you a
question,” Nombuso.
Can’t she let this go?
“No, she’s not,” I say with a low sigh.
“Good! In fact, goodest. Didn’t I tell
you that she’s playing you? She’s a
rich spoilt-brat, in you she’s just seeing
a village boy she can easily fool
around.”
“That’s not true, she’s having
problems with her father.” Deep down
I know that I’m defending nonsense.
“And her other boyfriend is her
shoulder to cry on, not you farm-
julia,” she says.
I won’t lie, that went deep.
I walk out. On second thought, I’m
going to the Mhlongos.
-
-
-

I imagined this day with my mother

by my side. Nondu sent a boy to fetch
me from the mall. He’s Salo’s little
brother, I can see myself in him. He’s
calm, he sounds intelligent and
matured way more than his age. But
his name is Sekhona, he’s a Gen-Z.
“My sister said you look like
Babomdala, she didn’t lie,” he says.
“That means he was handsome,” I say.
He laughs, “No, he was not. My
father, the one in jail, was the good-
looking sibling between them. At
home Salo is the good-looking one
because she took after him. In your
father’s house it’s Nondu. You and I,
mmmm.”
This child! Is it my confidence he’s
after?
“As long as we get wives in the
future,” I say.
“Hopefully some girls will be kind
enough,” he says.
I’m laughing all the way…home. I
needed him to calm down my nerves.
I only remember that I’m a product of
infidelity when we reach the gate. But
there’s no time to dwell on that
because I just saw Aunt Teekay.
She didn’t tell me she’d be here. She
must’ve known that I’d be
uncomfortable, she’s here to set the
mood.
“Now you’re eating,” that’s how she
greets me.
I laugh, “If that’s a compliment, thank
you.”
Nzuzo appears behind her. This
young man is my friend.
“That’s my uncle, umalume wami!” he
says, pointing at me.
I’ve seen him two times, this is how he
talks. He claims his people, he marks
his territory.
He’s an old soul, he shakes my hand
and tells me that Aphe is inside
sleeping.
“Mommy baked a cake because you
are coming,” he says.
“That’s so nice of your mother,” I say.
He’s leading us inside, he can’t stop
talking.
“But gogo was crying last night,” he
says and everything stops.
I think everyone stopped breathing for
a second.
Nondu gets off the couch, “Nzuzo!”
He looks at me fearfully. It looks like
he’s scared of his mother.
MaNkosi must be the woman with a
headwrap. She also didn’t expect
Nzuzo to just say that. It makes me
sad, I know that she must’ve cried
because of my existence.
“Sanibonani,” I greet amidst the thick
tension.
“Little brother!” Nondu says, smiling.
She just can’t accept that she’s
younger.
“Hi,” I say.
We hug.
MaNkosi is staring at me. I don’t
know what’s going on in her head.
“Sit, Salo will bring us drinks,” Nondu
says, pulling my hand.
“Salo sit, Nondu will go,” says Aunt
Teekay.
She’s still on her feet, she looks more
worried than me.
“But Aunty…”
“This is not the Mnguni household
where your mother-in-law and her
helpers do everything for you,” Aunt
Teekay never mince her words.
Salo laughs, “Murdered and
cremated!”
“Dr Manzini also has a helper in his
house.”
“I don’t live with him,” Salo.
“Yes, you live with your nanny.”
“I cook my own food and do my own
laundry.”
“Can you both take this to the
kitchen?” MaNkosi finally speaks.
It has to be one of the strangest rich
housewives argument I’ve ever heard.
But what’s more strange is that Salo is
dating Dr Manzini, Nondu works for
Dr Manzini and I’m sleeping with Dr
Manzini’s daughter. Somewhere
somehow this will turn out badly.
Aunt Teekay remains behind. I don’t
know where Sekhona disappeared to.
Nzuzo is sitting next to his
grandmother.
“You’re taller than I imagined,”
MaNkosi says.
It’s awkward, I don’t know how to
respond.
“You’re taller than your father was at
your age,” she says.
I still don’t say anything, I’m just
looking at her wondering how many
drops of tears she’s holding back.
She looks at Aunt Teekay. “Please
make sure they put two spoons in my
tea.”
Aunt Teekay didn’t want to leave but
she does, to give us privacy.
“I’m happy to meet you,” I say. This is
the only thing I can come up with.
“So am I,” she smiles.
I don’t think she’s really happy.
“It was unexpected but I’m happy
you’re home,” she says.
“He never mentioned me?” I ask.
This question has burnt me. Did my
real father think about me when he
was alive?
“He did,” she says.
I’m shocked.
“He knew about me?” I ask.
“He told me about your mother after I
raised suspicions. Then he said she
was pregnant and the child could be
his. A few months passed, he came
back to me again and said you were
your mother’s husband,” she says.
“Did he do anything to confirm that I
wasn’t his?” I ask.
“Not anything that I remember,” she
says.
“So him and my mother said that
because it was convenient for them in
a situation they were in.” This makes
me mad.
They sacrificed me to save their
marriage.
“I’ve never heard of a child who is
illegitimate on both sides. I’m from
outside marriage from both of them.”
I’m illegal from any point you look at
it.
“I’m sorry, my child. I know you want
answers. Trust me, I want them too.
But they’re not here, now we have to
figure out how we move forward
because there’s no doubt you’re his
child.”
“I’m sorry,” I say.
She shakes her head, “Don’t be like
your sister, don’t include yourself in
elders’ businesses. Do you want to see
his pictures?”
“I’d appreciate that,” I say.
She fetches the photo-album from the
room. Picture quality isn’t good but I
can see that he’s my father. In most of
them he was with them, happy family
poses. He looks like he was a good
father to Nondu. Looking at his
pictured I don’t feel anything. He’s
just another parent who failed me.
“We can arrange if you want to see his
grave,” MaNkosi says.
“Not anytime soon, this is enough,
thank you so much.” I don’t know
what I was hoping for but whatever it
was, it’s not here.
“Now that you’ve come home I hope
he will free my grandson,” she says.
“Nzuzo? He’s a smart little boy. How
is his sister?” I ask.
“She’s fine. You will see her, she’s
coming with her father.”
Oh, I’m meeting everyone today.

Nondu and Salo serve drinks and

lunch. They’re chaotic too, but the
happy kind of chaotic, not the
Mcineka chaotic. Aphelele is awake,
he sees me but I don’t think it fully
registers in his head. Because why am
I here?
I call him to come and sit on my lap. I
want to feed him, I miss those old
days even though they were not good.
I’d feed him because I didn’t have a
choice but to make sure that he was
full first and then eat whatever he left.
It still breaks my heart when I think
about it. I’m holding no grudge but no
parent can ever forget their child being
abused everyday.
I’m glad he found the way home
before me. I think it was meant to be;
Snenhlanhla leaving him behind and
Aunt Teekay taking him from me.
“Nzu don’t let ubabawakho feed you
like Enhle,” Nzuzo just had to spoil
the moment. Now all of a sudden
Aphelele doesn’t want me to feed him.
“He’s one of those bad influence
cousins,” Nondu says.
Everyone laughs.
“Guys, I have to go before Khaya
cause havoc,” Salo says.
“You all have babies,” I say.
Nondu has two, Salo has one.
“If this was a farm, I tell you my boy,
we’d be milk suppliers to the whole
township,” MaNkosi says.
I didn’t mean it that way, but damn.
“Let me get ready before I get my
confidence crushed, my ride is almost
here.” Salo says grabbing a piece of
meat. Sekhona is leaving with her,
tomorrow he has to leave for school.
“Salabenzeni wait, stand there,”
MaNkosi says.
Salo stands, she’s confused.
MaNkosi looks at Aunt Teekay;
they’re acting very weird.
“Are you on contraceptives?” she asks.
Nondu almost coughs out on the
plate.
Maybe I’m slow, I don’t understand
why all these women on the table look
like they’re seeing a ghost in Salo.
“I…I am,” Salo says, swallowing hard.
“Are you sure?” Aunt Teekay.
“Oh, fuck!” Nondu grabs her juice and
drinks while giggling.
I think she’s pregnant, she looks so
frightened.
Maybe MaNkosi is right about the
milk-supply thing.
CHAPTER 06
SPHAKAMISO

I didn’t expect to see her here. I didn’t

want to see her. Nokwanda has played
with my feelings enough, the last
thing I needed was her face on my first
day in my father’s house.
She smiles when our eyes meet, like
there’s absolutely nothing wrong
between us. She’s here to fetch Salo
and Sekhona. I already told MaNkosi
that I will leave tomorrow, I can’t
leave now out of the blue.
“You know Nokwanda, right?”
Nondu asks.
“Oh trust me, they do,” -Salo. She’s
forgotten about her pregnancy
suspicions.
Nondu frowns at me. I’m not going to
say anything, at least not now.
“We will talk, brother. Also expect a
call from your uncle’s brat, she
couldn’t make it today,” she says.
Sekhona bumps my fist before they
leave. We exchanged numbers, we
will communicate from now on. I turn
my eyes away from Nokwanda,
whatever she wants to say, even if it’s
a mere goodbye, I don’t want to hear
it.

As soon as they all leave Nondu

jumps into it.
“And then? Are you dating
Nokwanda?”
“No,” I say.
I’d rather not talk about this.
“So what was that about? Her father
once told me about a ‘boyfriend’ that
he met with and promised hell,” she
says.
I shrug, “Could be one of many.”
“Listen, I’m crazy but Nokwanda is
crazyyy. Can you believe she once
attempted murdering Khaya?”
“Salo’s Khaya?” I hope not.
“Yes,” she says.
What the fuck?!
“Her mother told her to do it. So her
father, my boss, took her from her
mother as a baby and she was raised
by his parents. I think she lacks the
mother-figure thing in her life, that’s
why I always question my decision of
leaving Nzuzo to be raised by mother.
There’s nothing Nkatha doesn’t do for
her, trying to bribe his way out. The
Louis Vuitton bags that girl has can
cover Nzuzo’s primary and high
school education. But she’d still do
anything to get her mother’s
approval.”
“Is he just a doctor?” I’m asking
because I don’t understand why he’s
so rich and stupid.
“I think his father had some sort of
wealth from the grandfather who
fathered the mother that mothered his
father.”
“I don’t understand,” I say, confused.
“The point is, they had some wealth
passed down or something like that,
him and his brother. You and I have
our father’s guitar, that’s it.”
“Where is it?” I ask.
“I think Ma threw it away years ago, it
was uselesss. But that’s not the point.”
Lord!!!
“What is the point kanti Nondu?”
Why do I get this type of sisters only.
It’s like I don’t deserve a normal
female relative.
“The point is, you shouldn’t associate
yourself with Nokwanda. What if she
kills Aphelele one day?”
“Is she that crazy?” I’m a bit scared, I
won’t lie.
She did drive all the way to the
Mcinekas without telling me.
“Yes, Salo banned her from seeing
Khaya until she completed her rehab
program.”
Rehab? This is serious than I thought.
“Well, unless if you’re attracted to
psychos like me,” she says.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Nzuzo’s father and Enhle’s father.
They’re brothers by the way, don’t
panic.”
How am I not going to panic? What
the fuck!
“You were impregnated by brothers?”
I’m shocked.
“Yeah, but they didn’t know each
other. Different moms, one father, they
have no relationship, it’s pure hate
from both side. And they’re crazy as
hell.”
“Your life sounds like a hot mess each
time you open your mouth,” I say.
“No, you haven’t heard anything.
Listen, there was MaKhumalo, your
uncle’s wife. Salo’s mother, and she
hated my parents’ guts. I’m talking
about the witchcraft guru, the OG of
everything African dark magic and
spells. She stole our father’s spirit.”
“Huh?” It’s bombs after bombs.
“Ask me where I was two years ago.
Shoprite, brother. I was a cashier with
my degree and intelligence. I couldn’t
find a job anywhere, Nzuzo’s father
rejected him before I even gave birth.
We were eating baked beans and
cabbage on daily basis. And for some
reason MaKhumalo was flourishing.
Baba was her light, she took all my
blessings, maybe yours too.”
“That’s hectic!” I’m lost for words.
“She wanted to kill Salo’s baby before
he was born. She didn’t want her to be
in a relationship because she wanted
her to work and take care of her
younger kids and household. By the
way her younger daughter is her
husband’s bestfriend, that’s why Babo
is in jail.”
“He killed them?” I think I’ve ran out
of shock in my body.
“He killed the bestfriend after
MaKhumalo’s funeral. She was killed
by Nzuzo’s father with a truck,
accident,” she says.
“Where do they sell beers around
here?”
She laughs, “Don’t worry, I’ve told
you enough for the day, I won’t
continue. I think that’s Nkalipho
outside.”
There’s car pulling up. It’s broad
daylight, I’m quite surprised that the
son-in-law is in the premises. This is
not how things are done where I come
from. If the Mthethwas invite
Malibongwe for a gathering, I attend
on his behalf, he’s not allowed to step
on Miyanda’s father’s premises
anyhow.
He walks in with a baby girl in his
arms. That must be Enhle, Nzuzo is
already pulling him by his shirt.
“I want to play,” he keeps saying.
Nondu rushes and takes the baby.
Nzuzo is being a bully but I also acted
the same when Mkhuleko was born.
Now he’s lost between staying with
his stepfather and coming to his
mother to fight the baby out of the
way.
“This is your brother-in-law, Nkalipho
Mnguni,” Nondu introduces us.
“Babe, this is my brother, Njomane
Junior.”
I don’t know if he’s shy or avoiding
eye contact for some reason, I don’t
see his face properly because it’s
dropped.
“I’m happy to meet you,” I say.
“Likewise. I heard you have magic
hands when it comes to cars.” He
speaks without looking at me. At this
point I know that I’m facing another
strange case. I should’ve let Nondu
reveal more skeletons. I’ve met people
like Nkalipho during my stay in the
men’s hostel, and trust me, they’re not
shy, they avoid eye contact because
they don’t want to be read. I hope he’s
not a serial killer.
“She’s not wrong,” I say.
“Then having your business card is
crucial,” he says.
How cute!
I look at Nondu, “Give him my
cellphone number.”
“I will. You need to go with him to…”
She looks at him, “What’s that thing
babe?”
“The BBO annual conference,” he says.
“Yes, yes. Squeeze him in, so that he
can mingle with business people from
around the province and possibly
meet sponsors and new customers.”
“Nondu, I’m running a small shop…”
She doesn’t let me finish.
“Exactly why you have to meet
sponsors and people who will give
you connections,” she says.
“It’s in two weeks,” Nkalipho says.
“You need to buy a suit,” Nondu says.
I can’t help but laugh. The answer is
no, if I’m going I’m not wearing a suit.
“Printing business cards is more
important,” says Nkalipho.
“Thank you guys, I will talk to my
brother about it.” I still have to get
permission from Malibongwe because
the business is under his name and
he’s not a man who hasn’t stepped on
people’s feet at some point.
Chapter 07
SPHAKAMISO

I should be in a better mood but I’m

down. It’s all the things I found out
about Nokwanda, I wish they were
not true because even though we have
our ups and downs, I do like her. And
Aphelele too, leaving him behind is
always hard. He still doesn’t
understand why we can’t be together.
He also wants to see Yoli. Nzuzo gives
him weird looks everytime he brings
her up like he knows something that
Aphelele doesn’t. I wouldn’t be
surprised if he does, Nzuzo is not a
normal child.
Mpatho’s car is here. Why did he leave
the village if he still wanted to be
around this much? They’re all
together, having nice sibling time
without me. Obviously the mood is
going to change now.
I greet and pass them. I go to my room
and lie in bed, reminiscing about
yesterday’s events. Now I know my
true identity but everything remains
the same. My life is still the mess it
was yesterday. I’m going to use the
Mcineka surname probably for the rest
of my life.

“Hhayi-bo!” Nombuso yells.

I ignore her and continue resting on
my bed. I know she will come and
drag me out any minute from now.
But I’m kinda avoiding Mpatho, he
texted about the Snenhlanhla issue
and I ignored him. I did promise to
call her but my feelings are still all
over the place when it comes to her. I
believe in second chances but one
must make the first move. I can’t be
chasing her around. She knows where
I am, she knows the people to call if
she really wants to know about her
son’s whereabouts. More than helping
me, I know Mpatho wants me far
away from Phume, and if I can link up
with the junkie he’s cleaning up then
he would’ve hit two birds with one
stone.

I hear footsteps, Nombuso’s voice

coming closer. I get up and drag
myself to the door.
“Did they beat you?” she asks.
“No, I’m tired,” I say.
“But the least you could have done is
tell us how everything went and then
rest. Come before Nkosiyazi leaves.”
She turns and walks back.
They want to know if I found the other
family better than them. I’m not used
to talking to them, especially Mpatho
and Malibongwe. Malibongwe and I
used to be close, back when I was with
Phume, he loved us. But things
changed after Nombuso and I started
having issues over Aphelele. He also
went through his own life changes,
things are no longer the same.
“Are you okay?” that’s the first thing
he asks.
“Yeah, I’m just tired,” I say.
“Okay. Did they welcome you
warmly?”
“Yes, I was warmly welcomed. Aunt
Teekay and Aphelele were there too,”
I say.
“That’s very thoughtful of her.
Mpatho told me that he texted you
about Aphelele’s mother running
away from rehab.”
Honestly, I don’t care. I knew at some
point it was going to happen.
Sinenhlanhla has a child older than
Aphelele, she’s never been present in
that child’s life either, what was going
to make her change for Aphelele?
“I’m glad I hadn’t told Aphelele
anything about her.” I would’ve
broken my son’s heart over nothing.
“At some point he’s going to ask,”
Mpatho says.
“I will tell her that she’s a junkie,” I
say.
I can see that he doesn’t agree but he
knows his lane. Nombuso comes with
the food, I’m not hungry but I can
never say no to a home-cooked meal
prepared by her.
“I think it’s time we pay for Aphelele
and rightfully get him to be yours to
avoid future complications,”
Malibongwe says.
“I’m saving towards that,” I say.
“Save towards his future. He’s your
first child, first mistake, I will take care
of it. Mpatho will go with me to see
the Mzimelas,” he says.
I’m grateful but shocked too.
“Why now?” I ask.
“Because now we only have each
other,” he says.
I look at Mpatho. And him, why is he
so available to help lately? It’s either
he’s feeling guilty or he’s repented
from his ways.
“I have to go, we will talk over the
phone if you don’t pull up,” he says to
Malibongwe.
“Definitely over the phone, your wife
hates me.”
Phume hates Malibongwe? I wasn’t
aware of this. I think it might be the
other way around because I know he
took our break-up harder than me.
“So you’re not coming to Manzi’s last
appointment to see him taking his
braces off?”
“I’m not missing that for anything in
the world. It’s your house I’m not
coming to,” Malibongwe says.
“I’m doing a ceremony for the
ancestors, must I be alone and invite
my white neighbor to slaughter the
goat?”
“Sphakamiso will come and slaughter
it,” Malibongwe says.
I don’t say anything but in my head
I’m just wondering what could be
strange for Mpatho to cut the throat
with a knife himself.
“Who’s killing a goat for the
ancestors?” Nombuso yells from the
kitchen.
“You know the sinner,” Malibongwe
says.
Mpatho laughs, “I’m not apologizing
for anything, just surprising them with
meat. Nombuso please come and do
your mqombothi magic early.”
“I’m going to start charging you now,”
Nombuso says.
“Name your price!”
Hawu, where is Miyanda and Ima? It’s
so unlike her to shut herself in the
room for so long, especially with a
baby like Ima.
CHAPTER 08
SPHAKAMISO

Imangothando is sick, together with

his mother. Malibongwe is obviously
sick too, emotionally. I haven’t had
time to tell him about the conference
thing Nkalipho is taking me to.
Nombuso appears with her bag. I look
at the time, it’s only 14:43.
“I have to go and see how
Malibongwe is coping with his
patients,” she says.
“Are you a nurse now?” I’m confused.
“It’s a family emergency and I’m done
cleaning, unless you want me to climb
on the roof and start licking it,” she
says.
“You will never work anywhere else,
you should be grateful that I haven’t
given you a second warning.” I’m
going to issue it very soon though.
Her behaviour is intolerable.
“It’s just a piece of paper,” she says
throwing her bag over her shoulder.
“Where is Nokwanda?”
“That’s an unprofessional question,”
I’m trying to avoid talking and
thinking about Nokwanda.
“Let me guess, she’s too busy for
you,” she says with a wide grin.
“We are both too busy for each other.”
I stopped texting and calling after
what Nondu told me about her.
“Good, I hope it stays that way
forever. You deserve better. Have you
seen how beautiful Lungile Zondo is?”
“I don’t know who that is,” I say.
“You don’t know Bab’ Zondo’s last
daughter? I’m going to invite her for
dinner.”
What the hell!!
“No, Nombuso,” I say.
“I just want you to see her, nothing
much.” She walks out. Don’t I have a
say in who I want to see now? I don’t
know that girl and I’m not interested,
no matter how good she looks.
-
-
-

I get home praying Nombuso invited

no girl for me to see. But then I see
Phume’s car, something is happening.
I can’t get inside fast enough to see if
Ima is okay. Phume doesn’t do casual
visits.
She’s here with her husband, holding
Ima. Miyanda is sitting next to them. I
don’t see Malibongwe and Nombuso.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Ima fainted,” Miyanda says, she has
Manzi on her lap. He’s one big baby.
“What?” I thought they were having
normal flu.
I know he’s safe with his other parents
but I grab him from them.
“Mango?” I’m hoping he can tell me
what’s wrong. But he’s sucking his
thumb, just staring at me.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“He is now, I put Mkhuleko’s bracelet
around his neck and he woke up,”
Miyanda says.
This is strange and scary.
What does it mean? I was told if
anything happens to Mkhuleko we
will know through Ima.
“Where is Malibongwe?” I ask.
“He went to a sangoma with
Nombuso. Don’t panic, I think
Mkhuleko was sending a message.”
How can she expect me not to panic?
What if Mkhuleko is in danger where
he is?
“At least we know now that they
really do have a connection,” Mpatho
says.
Ima is too innocent and young for this.
I give him back to Phume.
Last time I saw Manzi he was wearing
casts, not braces. There’s been a huge
progress. I heard that he’s due for his
last appointment where he’s going to
take them off too. He’s close to being
normal.
“Nsizwenye!” I pull his hand.
It’s a little weird that I don’t have a
good relationship with his parents but
I love him as much as I love Ima and
Aphelele.
“He’s bigger than Ima,” I say.
“Because he doesn’t have a crying
routine,” Miyanda says. She’s
accepted Ima, our family radio.
“Stop lying on my baby. Look at how
quiet he is!” Phume says, brushing
Ima’s lips.
The bond they have as mothers to
these little boys is rare and beautiful. I
think it was meant to be the way it is.
At the end of the day Phume doesn’t
have siblings, or even a family she can
call for help, in Miyanda she’s found a
sister for life, an aunt for her son.

I go to my room to change. At least I

know that Nombuso will not be
bringing any girl for dinner. It’s
Miyanda’s turn but I will take it and
cook. She always come through for me
too.
My phone rings. It must be them. I fish
it out of my pocket but guess what,
Nokwanda’s number flashes on the
screen.
I watch it ring until she drops.
Is this real?
She calls again.
This time I pick up.
“Nokwanda?” I’m confused.
What does she want after this long?
CHAPTER 09
NOKWANDA

I have hated my life more than I have

loved it for the last couple of months.
If my grandparents were here I know
things would be different.
It’s almost time for dinner, I don’t
want Nkatha coming to my room to
fetch me. It’s Thursday, he’s probably
going to Salo’s house after the chef is
gone.
He’s already at the dinner table.
“What are we having?” I ask.
“Traditional Thursday meal; steamed
bread and oxtail,” he says.
“It looks fancy, not traditional,” I say.
With all the colours, sides, greens and
over-decorated oxtail, nothing seems
traditional about this food.
“How are the assignments coming
along?” he asks.
“Good,” I say.
“I spoke to a few tutors.”
“No, I have study groups. I don’t need
a tutor, I’m doing okay with all my
modules.”
He shrugs, “Okay, I was just trying to
help.”
“Try to help Thule too,” I say.
He raises his eyebrow. I know to him I
have crossed the line. He cut her off
from our lives. But I don’t think he’d
do that to Khaya if Salo had some
mental challenges.
“Your mom is an adult, she’s 42 years
old. Stop worrying about her, her
problems are not yours to carry,
neither are they mine. We can only
help where we can, if she proves that
she needs our help.”
“I need my mom,” I say it out loud for
the first time. I don’t care if she’s an
alcoholic and mental unstable, she’s
my mom. Nkatha loved his own
mother until the day she died.
“I will set an appointment with your
therapist,” he says. I know this is final.
“I want to talk to my mom, not a
professional.”
“And come back here with funny
ideas? This is for your own good
Nokwanda, I don’t want you to end
up in jail,” he says.
“That was one time and I learned my
lesson. There are things I need to talk
to my mother about. Not you, not a
therapist.”
“You can talk to me about anything,
you know that,” he says.
“Does morning-after pill work after 5
days? How does one tell if there’s
something growing inside them?” He
said I can talk to him about anything
but now he’s dropping everything. Me
being pregnant is his biggest fear.
“You had your injection last month,”
he says, his eyes widened.
“No, I didn’t,” I say.
“lot
I fill a glass of water and take a few
sips.
“Get up!” he orders.
“Huh?” We are in the middle of
dinner. Our so-called traditional
dinner.
“Up, Nokwanda!”
Phewww! I can no longer count how
many conflicts we’ve had in the last
couple of months. All because I want
us to help Thule. She’s on the streets,
the whole Zungu babymama.
Nkatha is mad, as he should be.
“Take your T-shirt off,” he instructs.
I’m being scanned, I can’t believe this
is even a suspicion. Nkatha doesn’t
want to be
grandfather, neither do I want to be a
mother.
I’m holding my breath.
I’m not hearing any heartbeat, so I
look at his face hoping to see relief.
But his face is dark as night.
“Am I pregnant?” I ask.
“You’re asking me bullshit. Who did
this to you?” he asks.
“Baba!” I sit up, holding my pounding
chest.
I only call him baba when the going
gets tough.
I’m scared. What does he mean who
did this to me?
“People were right, I coddled you, I
gave you too much freedom,” he says.
“That’s not true.” Which freedom did
he give me? Freedom not to have a
relationship with my mother and her
family?
“You’re 4 weeks pregnant, Nokwanda.
I went against every black man’s
morals trying to build you into a smart
girl. A girl who wouldn’t turn out like
those girls who parade the streets
from sunrise to sunset. There’s
nothing I didn’t teach you about life.”
He’s livid.
“I was going to take a pill but Thule
called me, she was hospitalized,” I’m
crying.
“Are you Thule’s mother or she’s your
mother? How many times
Nokwanda…How many times…?” At
this point he wants to get physical but
he knows that he can’t. He swore on
his life that he’d never use physical
discipline on me.
He takes a few steps around and a
deep breath.
“Who is the father?” he asks.
“Sphakamiso,” I say.
“The dark village boy?”
I’m afraid, yes.
“The same one I told not to get you
pregnant?”
“He gave me money to buy pills, I’m
at fault, not him,” I say.
“So what’s your plan now, Mama
kaThule?”
I shrug, tears dropping down. “I will
talk to Sphakamiso.”
Even this sounds impossible, I have
ignored him since our last time
together. I saw how he looked at me at
the Mhlongos, he’s fed up. He’s done.
I was unavailable too many times.
There’s no way he’s going to
understand this, especially since he
thinks there’s Wise in the picture. My
games have finally caught up with me.
I dug my own grave.
CHAPTER 10
SPHAKAMISO

We are at the Vilakazis doing a

ceremony that was requested. We still
don’t know where Mkhuleko is, we
don’t have the address, but we know
that he’s at the right place. This is
Mkhulu Vilakazi’s ceremony, no
slaughtering took place, it’s just a
small celebration with incense burning
in the alter.
Manzi has been put off braces. His feet
look straight now. There’s nothing
doctors can’t do nowadays.
“You need to bring your son next time
there’s a ceremony,” MaNhleko says.
“Okay,” I say.
That’s not going to happen.
“When are you taking a wife?”
A wife? Me?
“Hhayi-bo malumekazi, I’m not even
30.”
“Your uncle had already married me
at your age. Your mother died without
meeting her future daughter-in-law,
now you’re waiting for your uncle to
die too?”
This woman is serious!
“I’m still looking,” I say.
“Ask us to help you if your eyes are
not functioning well,” she says.
I laugh as she walks away. I’m
thinking about doing my degree and
she’s dreaming about my wedding.

Ruby is also here. We have all

embraced her ever since her father left.
Even Malibongwe gives her soft
treatment. She’s getting fat, I suspect
she might be pregnant. Even though
we love her, nobody wants
grandpuppies yet.
“Is this one pregnant?” Malibongwe
asks, stepping out of the house.
“I suspect,” I say.
“Her puppies will live with the father.
There’s no space for more dogs,” he
says.
“How are we going to know the
father?” I’m laughing at his
foolishness.
“Fuck!” He sits down and peels his
orange.
“Do you think he’s going to tell us
where he is after this ceremony?” I
ask.
“He might, but nobody knows for
certain. What we know is that he is
okay. I want you to focus on the
business, things will fall into place. On
Saturday we are going to pay for
Aphelele.”
“Thank you,” I say.
I’m grateful to him for all his efforts.
When Aphelele was living with us he
was working at the hardware store but
he made sure that Aphelele had
clothes for all seasons of the year. It
wasn’t enough because he was
providing for everyone at the same
time. But I will never downplay his
efforts, even though I did have some
complaints when it came to how he
allowed some people to behave at
home.
“How is your relationship going?” he
asks.
“My relationship?” My brows furrow.
“With the doctor’s daughter,” he says.
I know that Nombuso already told
him. They never approved of her from
the very beginning.
“It ended,” I say.
“You finally knew your worth.” He’s
laughing.
It wasn’t actually that, I found out that
she’s a pyscho. But they already
worked that out, they looked at her as
nothing other than a mental unstable,
loose little girl.
Last time she called me she sniffed on
the phone and ended up dropping
without saying anything. I didn’t call
her back, I had no reason to. I’m done
running after her, it seems like that’s
what she wanted from me.
“How are you and Sis’ Miyanda?” I’m
tired of talking about me and my non-
existent love life.
“I miss her,” he says.
“Huh?” I’m confused.
“Miyanda is from the village, she’s
following rules and myths. Can you
believe Ima is almost half a year and
we are still sleeping in separate
blankets?”
“Oh shit!” I can’t believe it.
I thought paying lobola means
limitless access.
“Ever been starved to the point where
you wish you can call a family
meeting and ask for intervention?”
He’s going through it, the dry season.
“What intervention?” Mpatho says,
coming behind us with a beverage can
in his hand.
They get along now, more than I ever
thought they would. I was this tight
with Mkhuleko too.
“My last seen is old as
Imangothando,” he says.
I laugh out loud, forgetting my own
miserable life.
“What is that?” Mpatho is confused.
“Miyanda is sleeping with tights on,”
he explains.
Mpatho is a bit tipsy, he’s going to
have a field day over this. Judging by
how hard he’s laughing, obviously
he’s not going through the same
struggles. Weird!
“It can never be me. Six weeks was
long enough. I had to give Mshazi his
happiness. Phume knows that I don’t
feed it pap,” he says.
I don’t want to think about it any
other way. He’s talking about his wife.
I guess that’s how generous Phume is
as a girlfriend.
“Nika uNombuso ingane ubambe lo
muntu nge-romance echame,
uzozivulela yena,” Mpatho says-
romance her, she will cum and
voluntarily open those legs herself.
Right now I understand that I’m
younger than them, I’m cringing as
they talk.
“Akezwa lutho, uvala ngisasondela,”
Malibongwe says- she wants nothing,
she closes her legs before I even get
close to her.
“You’re just too soft on her. She knows
that you will never have your way
with her, you take whatever she
throws at you. Sometimes you need to
pull a face and put your foot down.”
“Do you know her father?”
Malibongwe asks, laughing. “I’m
already on my second warning.”
“Hhayi-ke, then you have to pull a
Sphakamiso and make alternative
plans,”- Mpatho.
I don’t know why they’re laughing.
That’s my past and nothing is funny
about it. And why is he promoting
cheating?
“Don’t do anything stupid, Sis’
Miyanda will be ready when she’s
ready. It’s not worth the
consequences, nothing stays hidden
forever,” I say.
“I know bafo, Mpatho is just drunk,”
he says.
He’s tipsy, not drunk. It makes me
wonder if he’s cheated on Phume, or
forced himself on her. Mpatho is not
innocent as his suits look.
“Where is Nokwanda?” he asks me.
Will I ever rest from Nokwanda
questions?
“I don’t know,” I say.
“That was a short relationship.”
It wasn’t even a relationship, just one
person fucking another for pleasure
and moving on with her life the next
day.
CHAPTER 11
NOKWANDA

Yesterday I came here, parked on this

very same spot. But I couldn’t find
courage to go inside the shop and talk
to him. What do I say? Where do I
start? I don’t think he’s going to accept
that he’s the father, I made him believe
that he wasn’t the only one.
Nkatha is not talking to me, but he
hasn’t punished me yet. My cards are
all working, I’m still driving his car
and have access to his flat in
Umhlanga. I don’t think Salo knows
yet, she would’ve confronted me
about it already. What Nkatha doesn’t
know yet is that Sphakamiso is
Nondu’s newly-found brother. I don’t
know what this means for our family.
I’m inside the car contemplating
whether to go inside or drive home
like I did yesterday. But before I make
up my mind, he comes out of the shop
wearing green overalls. He’s on full
mechanic mode, I still can’t point one
thing that attracted me to him. But I
know that he has something that
nobody has. If Nkatha hadn’t been
successful, I think he would’ve been
like him. I know that if he wanted to
see me the past few weeks he
would’ve seen me. He would’ve
found a way and forced things to
happen.
He's such a hard nut to crack, until
bed. Once he gets inside me he
becomes vulnerable; he lays his heart
in the open.
I should’ve said something back when
I had time.
He looks at my direction, I hide my
head. Which is stupid because he’s
already seen my car.
I’m holding my breath, praying that
he went on with his business. But
someone knocks on my window.
I roll it down, he’s not wearing a kind
face.
“What do you want?” he asks.
“Nothing,” I’m shaking a bit.
“Yesterday you were here, today
you’re here again. What’s up? Are you
planning to murder me?”
I’m offended. Do I look like a
murderer?
“No,” I say.
“Then what do you want?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“I’m working.”
Ya neh.
“We can schedule,” I say.
“Nokwanda, I’m done. Stop coming
here and stop calling me to cry. I’m
over this game, let me be.” His face is
evident of his words; he wants
nothing to do with me.
“It’s important,” I say.
“If it was important, you would’ve
told me already,” he says.
I can’t just drop it like a bomb. But I
don’t think I will ever have a perfect
time to tell him. I’m scared because I
already know how his reaction is
going to be.
“I’m pregnant,” I say.
He blinks twice…thrice…then he
laughs.
“I’m serious Sphakamiso,” I say.
“I know that you’re a pyscho but this
is beyond craziness, Nokwanda.
You’re not pregnant, if you are I’m not
the father. Have you told Wise? The
guy who bought you flowers? How
about the white boy who was on your
Whatsapp not so long ago?”
“Phaka, I haven’t slept with anyone
other than you,” I’m crying.
He doesn’t care; he doesn’t believe me.
“We can do DNA tests,” I’m
desperate.
“Please don’t get me involved
Nokwanda. You know where you
have been, please leave me alone, you
never gave me a chance.” He walks
away, he doesn’t even look back.
I call Nkatha, in tears.
He picks up but doesn’t speak a word.
“He’s denying it,” I sob over the
phone.
“Okay, come home,” he says.
We haven’t spoken in days, I cannot
describe the relief I feel hearing those
words coming from him.
-
-
-

SPHAKAMISO

I didn’t think there would be actual

cows, given the fact that Aphelele is
Snenhlanhla’s second child.
Malibongwe bought two fat cows and
withdrew sums of cash. The truck is
here to transport them. Mpatho has
arrived, he’s wearing a suit.
Malibongwe is still dressing up.
Aphelele arrived yesterday, I have put
my guards down and allowed
Nombuso to get him ready. He’s going
to meet his mother’s family for the
first time today.
“They mustn’t forget to send back
some meat with you guys. It’s a
tradition,” Nombuso says. “Unlike
someone’s family.” She’s looking at
Miyanda.
“Don’t lie, they did send meat back
with your people. Right
Sphakamiso?”- Miyanda.
“Yeah,” I nod and go stand at the
window.
What the fuck is happening with my
life? Everyone warned me about
Nokwanda. How do I even begin
telling them that she’s accusing me of
making her pregnant? I did sleep with
her many times, we were safe most of
the times. That one slip we had, I
made sure that I give her money for
the pill and reminded her with a text.
Malibongwe will just lose it. Why is
this happening now when my life is
finding direction?
My phone vibrates.
It’s a text from Salo, she knows.
This is more real than I thought.
Aphelele is ready, he comes and gives
me a twirl. He can be girlish at times. I
pick him up, he smells of coco-butter
oil and shampoo. I’m still trying to
figure it out with him. I don’t want
anyone to threaten me with another
baby.
“Are we going to see Yoli and my
mother?”
My heart just sinks. I can’t give him
any of those people.
CHAPTER 12
NOKWANDA

I have come between them,

unwillingly so. Salo is not on my side,
they’ve been disagreeing all morning.
I know it looks like I don’t support
their relationship but the truth is, Salo
is actually the only woman I prefer to
see my father with. They’re right for
each other, I hate that they’re fighting
because of me. Khaya is on my lap, he
doesn’t care. I can’t believe I might be
a mother. I’m saying “might” because
if Sphakamiso doesn’t come on board I
will not have a fatherless baby.
“I know you’re young Nokwanda, but
defining your relationships is
important. If you were transparent
about everything you did none of this
would’ve happened,” Salo says.
“Why are you siding with this boy
Salo? He called me and asked for a
meeting to come and tell me that he’s
sleeping with my daughter. Now he
doesn’t think he made her pregnant!”
“He’s my brother,” Salo drops the
final bombshell.
He frowns, looking at both of us.
“It’s the same Sphakamiso, you saw
him with the Mcineka side of the
family,” Salo says.
“So you were sleeping with your
uncle? And wena Salo, you knew
about this all this fuckin’ time.” His
voice rises.
I never thought I’d witness them at
odds like this.
Sphakamiso is not my uncle, I’m not
blood related to the Mhlongos. And I
knew him before knowing him and
Salo were related. He caught my eyes
the first time I saw him.
“They’re old enough to make their
own decisions. All I’m saying is, don’t
blame Sphakamiso because
Nokwanda never accepted his love
proposal. He’s shocked and
confused.”
“I don’t care about love proposals, he
came to me and told me he’s been
sleeping with my daughter even when
he was mourning. He’s not going to
deny anything,” he says.
I see Salo’s nostrils flaring up in anger.
“Is it hard for you to hold Nokwanda
responsible for once?” It seems like
she’s forgotten that I’m here.
“I’m still here,” I remind her.
She gives me a look. “I know
everything, so don’t!”
Sphakamiso must’ve told her about
Wise. Wise is my friend, we’ve never
had a sexual relationship or
whatsoever. I wanted to make
Sphakamiso jealous, he wasn’t giving
me attention.
“I will find him tomorrow,” Nkatha
says.
“It’s not a man’s place to talk about
pregnancy issues,” Salo says.
“It’s my daughter, if nobody is willing
to help I will go there and handle it
myself.” He storms out.
How can I be taken by my father to
report pregnancy? I know it’s
complicated for Salo because she’s
related to both of us, but where will I
find Thule?
She looks at me and sighs heavily.
“You have put me in a very difficult
position. Be up before 4am, we have to
get there before sunrise,” she says.
“Thank you.” I’m feeling relieved.
But I know a storm awaits me
tomorrow.
-
-
-

I tried getting hold of Thule the whole

night with no avail. I’m not surprised
though because she’s never really been
there when I need her. It’s always the
other way around. Maybe Nkatha is
right about me acting like her mother
instead of her child. I protect her more
than she will ever protect me.
I try one last time before going to the
bathroom. I just want to tell her that
Salo is taking me to a boy’s family to
report the pregnancy. I want my
mother to shout at me. I want… no, I
need my mother.
“She’s not going to answer
Nokwanda.”
Where did he come from? I don’t need
him intruding like this.
“Stop crying.” He grabs the phone
away, wipes my cheeks and pulls me
for a hug.
I know he’s mad at me but he’s trying
to make sure I don’t feel totally
abandoned.
“I don’t want to see you hurting like
this. It gets me mad, we have come too
far,” he says.
We have a tumultuous relationship.
But as shaky as we can be, he’s one
person who will always have my back.
“I’m sorry baba,” I say.
“It’s okay, we will figure it out.
Whatever answer he gives you, it
doesn’t mean you will have a
miserable life. I’m always going to be
there for you,” he says.
“Even when you’re not talking to
me?” I ask.
“Yes, even when I’m not talking to
you, in my heart you will never stop
being my baby. I love you, okay?”
I nod.
He kisses my forehead and wipes my
tears off again. I know he’s going to
support whatever decision I make
from now onwards.
CHAPTER 13
SPHAKAMISO

Nombuso had a running stomach, she

was waking me up the whole night
wanting me to watch her go to the
toilet outside the yard. I never thought
I’d say this, but can she get married
again? Having a sister is a lot of
hardwork. I tried telling her to simply
take Ruby with her but she refused.
Women are scared of dark until it’s
time to sneak out to their boyfriends.
I overslept, that’s why Malibongwe is
banging my door. I’m late for work.
Lately we’ve been opening the shop
late because of me.
“I’m up,” I say, stretching my arms.
“Hey come out wena!”
Why is he being an ass now?
“Now!” he adds, angrily.
“It’s still 6:45, I will bath fast.”
“There are people here for you, get
out.”
What? Who would be visiting me at
this time? I don’t remember inviting
anyone.
I wash my face and put my T-shirt on.
There’s a familiar car outside.
Malibongwe looks angry.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“Did you make that girl pregnant after
everything we talked about?”
No, Nokwanda you didn’t.
“She’s here?” I’m shocked and
disappointed in myself at the same
time.
“Yes,” he says.
“I told her the baby can’t be mine, she
wasn’t just sleeping with me alone.”
“I don’t know, go and sort it out,” he
says.
“I also told you about her
indecisiveness and…”
“Ungang’faki Sphakamiso,” he wants
nothing to do with this. I understand
he’s disappointed but can’t he back me
up this once? I also told him about
Nokwanda’s multiple sex partners.
“I really thought Aphelele was a
lesson. But clearly not, you’re going to
father two children from different
mothers you were never in a
relationship with.”
“I’m not the father,” I say.
“What is she going to gain from
saying you’re the father?” he asks.
I guess nothing financially but that
doesn’t mean she cannot lie on me.
“I know when her and I didn’t use
protection I gave her money for the
pill and reminded her to buy it even
after she had left.”
“Mxm, get out of here!”
I’m already outside.

Salo?
I can’t believe this. She knows the
story, I told her everything yesterday.
I can’t even look at Nokwanda. Why is
she doing this to me? If Nondu had
warned me earlier I would’ve stayed
far away from her.
Miyanda is sitting down. Nombuso is
on her feet with a towel wrapped
around her waist. This is going to be
dramatic.
I greet, my eyes are on my sister, the
Mhlongo one. Is she about to turn on
me?
“Is this who I think it is?” Nombuso
asks me.
I feel like nothing I’m going to say
right now is going to satisfy anyone in
this room.
“Sphakamiso I’m asking you a
question. Is this the Nokwanda girl
who made you her 6th boyfriend? Or
should I say fuck buddy?”
“It is Nokwanda,” I say.
“Umcondo wakhe ubekwa yini pho
la?” What is bringing her here, she
asks.
“As I’ve said, Nokwanda is pregnant
and she believes that Sphakamiso is
the father. She was only intimate with
him when she conceived. She’s four
weeks pregnant right now. He’s
welcome to do his own calculations.”
Nokwanda was here four weeks ago.
But how? I texted her, she read my
message.
“I told you to buy a pill,” I say, staring
at her.
“My mom was at the hospital, I could
only buy it after 5 days and it didn’t
work,” she says.
This doesn’t make any sense. On the
way to the hospital she did pass
pharmacies. Why couldn’t she grab a
pill?
“You could’ve slept with Wise or any
other guy the same week,” I say.
“Exactly! And wena sisi you can’t tell
us that our dog ate your eggs. Your
eggs came to our dog. She woke all of
us up with her car, coming to
Sphakamiso uninvited,”- Nombuso.
Nokwanda starts crying. I don’t know
if it’s part of the act.
“Have you reported to the other guys’
families or ibhadi liphume
noSphakamiso nje?” Nombuso asks.
“Nokwanda knows biology more than
you. She knows who made her
pregnant,” Salo says, clearly she’s on
her stepdaughter’s side.
“Is it Biology that told her the
morning-after pill also woks as a
week-after?”
Salo doesn’t know Nombuso, she can
do this until sunset. Nokwanda is
crying painfully, I don’t know if she
wants to get sympathy or she’s crying
out of remorse.
“I don’t think Sphakamiso is denying
paternity here,” Miyanda says.
All eyes turn to her. Nombuso looks
ready to bite her head off.
“He’s just not certain because they
were not in a defined, exclusive
relationship. Can we all agree that
things didn’t happen properly? And
for both parties to be happy it’s wise
to wait for the baby to be born then
tests will be conducted. It’s unfair to
him if he’s going to take on a role that
he’s not even sure he should be
taking.”
She summed it up so well. That’s
exactly what I feel. Even though I’m
not ready but if something points at
me with evidence then I will happily
take my role.
“So she must go through the
pregnancy journey alone?” Salo asks.
“I will avail myself whenever she
needs me,” I say.
“No, that’s not fair. She knew how to
walk her journey here alone when she
wanted Sphakamiso. Now all of a
sudden she can’t walk through things
alone? Hhayi-bo sisi, didn’t she drive
down the hill alone at night?”
Nombuso.
I know it’s not fair but if it turns out to
be really my baby then I don’t want to
miss a thing. I missed everything with
Aphelele. If it turns out that
Nokwanda was lying, I will lick my
wounds and move on.
“It’s fine, I will be there until the baby
is born then we will conduct tests,” I
say.
Nombuso is not happy but I think this
is the better way to do it. I’m keeping
the window open, if I deny paternity
now her father will write me off even
if it turns out the baby is mine.
But Nokwanda and I still need to talk.
CHAPTER 14
NOKWANDA

I don’t know how I feel about what

the Mcinekas decided. In few words
they said they will only believe once
they see the actual baby and have
DNA tests confirming that it’s theirs. I
played myself, if I didn’t lie to
Sphakamiso I wouldn’t be here. It
didn’t sound like his sister heard good
things about me. She literally wants
nothing to do with me.
I know how he feels though. Hurt,
disgusted, angry and uncertain. He’s
right to feel all those emotions. But
this is hard on me as it is on him.
He comes out as we are about to get in
the car. I know he has things to say, or
rather to ask.
His eyes are full of regrets. I miss
those days when I’d see desire
flickering in his eyes when he looked
at me.
“Why are you doing this?” he asks.
“What am I doing Sphakamiso?”
“This game. What do you want from
me?”
“It wasn’t intentional. My mom was
sick and…”
“Just stop. If you wanted to buy a pill
you would’ve done so. And you
would’ve called me and told me to
bring it to you if you were really that
busy.”
“I didn’t think of that,” I say.
His jaw twitches. I see his heavy
breaths. We are now enemies; he hates
me.
“Anginalutho mina Nokwanda. I have
identity issues, I lost my mother and
my niece not so long ago, I’m grieving
my young brother on top of all that. I
had to send my son away because I
couldn’t take care of him. What do
you think you’re going to achieve?”
“Sphakamiso!” I’m getting emotional.
I’m not what he thinks I am. I have
battles that I’m fighting; internally and
externally.
“Stop with the fake tears, please.”
I wipe them and take a deep breath.
“Can we have a conversation?”
“We are having a conversation,” he
says.
“But we can’t talk here. I don’t want to
make decisions alone. I could have,
but I didn’t because I wanted you to
know.”
“What are you talking about?” he
asks.
“If I terminate the pregnancy, I want
you to be aware,” I say.
He pulls his brows like this is the
wildest thing ever. He’s not ready for
another baby, he just said it.
“Why would you kill an innocent
soul?”
Soul? It’s just a fertilized egg.
“Sphakamiso, we have to be realistic.
You don’t want this baby, I’m also not
sure about being a mom,” I say.
“I want to be sure the baby is mine, I
never said I don’t want it. Can you
stop talking about abortions? I have a
lot to process as it is.”
“Okay, let me know when you’re
ready to talk. My father also wants to
have a conversation with you,” I say.
“Cool.” He steps away without
looking at me.
That didn’t go as bad as I imagined.
But Salo, she’s not happy with this.
She’s only here because I didn’t have
anyone else beside Nkatha. And if
Nkatha had come here himself a lot
would’ve been ruined.
“Thank you,” I say after closing the
door.
“Sphakamiso thinks I’m taking your
side. But I had to do this because your
father is stressed. Can you please
make better decisions from now on?”
“Okay,” I nod.
“Thule is not your priority. Anything
that messes with your mental wellness
is not worth it. I know that you’re kind
and you’re a good daughter, but
there’s only so much you can do.”
“I just feel like Nkatha is not fair. Even
before this, he’s always been like that
way.”
“The same Nkatha who provided a
shelter for her, clothed her and fed
her. You know what was his breaking
point Nokwanda. And until she
admits and apologizes for it, your
father will remain the way he is.”
“Okay, I really don’t want to keep
thinking or talking about this.
Sphakamiso agreed that we will sit
down and talk properly.”
“Do you even like him?” She’s giving
me a look.
I don’t know why everyone paints me
as a pyscho-player who breaks hearts.
I haven’t broken anyone’s heart except
maybe 5 boys.
“Kind of, but that chance has already
passed me by. I don’t think he needs
someone like me in his life,” I tell her.
“Just don’t hurt him. He’s a kind guy,
he needs time to process this. Please
get rid of Wise and others,” she says.
Wise would actually laugh at this.
That’s one person who knew my
intentions and how much I actually
wanted Sphakamiso.
CHAPTER 15
NONDUMEZULU

Salo told me about Sphakamiso and

Nokwanda. I’m disappointed, I won’t
lie. I love Nokwanda to death, but not
for my brother. Sphakamiso has been
through a lot, he doesn’t need
someone like Nokwanda. Nokwanda
has a lot of growing up to do and I
don’t see Dr Manzini allowing that to
happen.
She’s pregnant. I think she got
pregnant on purpose, because
Nokwanda has all the resources in the
world. She could’ve avoided it,
especially because she knew that she
didn’t want a relationship with him.
I hear Nkalipho in the kitchen. Who is
he talking to? I pick Enhle and make
my way to the kitchen.
He’s with Mnguni. Mnguni comes
here often to see Enhle.
“Sawubona baba,” I greet.
“MaMhlongo, what does a person do
here to get a drink?” He’s dramatic
like his wife.
I look at Nkalipho, “Where are your
manners?”
“My father never taught me
hospitality,” he says and gets a hard
push on his head. They’ve been
getting along so well lately.
“Tea or whisky, Mnguni?” I ask.
“Whisky,” he says.
“Same for me,” Nkalipho.
He’s a recovering alcoholic, he’s
getting a glass of Oros. I serve them in
the lounge, Nkalipho asks me to sit
down.
“I told Mnguni about adopting
Nzuzo,” he says.
“Oh.” I didn’t expect that.
It looks like Mnguni is here to talk is
out of it. Nobody believes in Solwazi
like he does.
“I saw him earlier this week. I don’t
think it’s a good time to do that, he’s
not a good space in his marriage,” he
says.
How sad it is! Poor Solwazi is having
marriage problems. It’s so rare for
people to go through that.
“Baba, I have had my own ups and
downs with Nkalipho but I have never
abandoned my son. It’s unhealthy for
Nzuzo, it’s planting insecurities and
abandonment fears in him. He’s
struggling accepting Enhle in his life
as we speak, all because of the things
he’s suffered.”
“He’s lying low on purpose. Nzuzo is
his only child but he needs a way
out,” he says.
I’m confused, so is Nkalipho.
“He has two daughters Mnguni,”
Nkalipho says.
“Yep, his chosen children,” I add.
Mnguni empties his drink down his
throat. It looks like there’s a bomb he’s
about to drop.
“What do you mean?” I’m curious.
“The girls are not his. It’s a long story,
I just want you to be patient and give
him time to fight this battle. Trust me,
he misses Nzuzo and he trusts you
two with him until he’s out of that
marriage in one piece.”
It could be that I’m getting hearing
problems. Solwazi who left me
pregnant and married Samantha, took
her kids to private schools and treated
my son like trash, was cheated on?
“He could’ve just informed Nondu or
MaNkosi,” Nkalipho says.
“Samantha is crazy,” Mnguni says.
We all know that, she hired people to
kill him when he asked me to be his
second wife. I don’t know but this
makes me happy.
“You still want whisky?” I ask
Nkalipho.
He slightly frowns but nods. I will go
out of my way and get him his Johnny
Walker later when I go shopping.
Karma really never forgets people’s
addresses.
I’m in the kitchen sending voicenotes
instead of getting Nkalipho’s whisky.
Imagine losing 8 years with your
biological child because you’re busy
raising another man’s children. Oh
Samantha, you’re a sly crazy bitch. A
silent poison!
-
-
-

Dr Manzini hasn’t been around much

these days. There’s Dr Barker who
joined recently. He’s young, maybe a
year older than me, attractive and
much better than Dr Manzini when it
comes to socializing skills. I think I’m
the only person who’s not scared of Dr
Manzini here. That man is huge and
dark as night. Maybe he’s smiled only
twice this month.
When he arrives after lunch everyone
gets busy. Gossips and laughter are
cut short. Nokwanda is pregnant, I
cannot begin to imagine how he’s
feeling. The modern parenting
technique didn’t work, he’s going to
be a grandfather.
I have samples to submit and right
now is a good time because there’s no
patient. I find him buried on a pile of
files.
“May I come in?” I ask at the door.
He doesn’t lift his head nor responds.
I let myself in and have a seat.
“I’m sorry to disturb, Olivia told me to
give you these samples,” I say.
“Thanks,” he says without looking up.
“How is Khaya?” I ask.
A sigh.
“Khaya is okay,” he says.
“And the little one, how is he or she
growing?”
He’s bored. “Who is that?”
“The one in the oven,” I say.
“What oven?” he asks.
Is he slow or what?
“Dr Manzini, you know the 20th
century lingo. I can’t believe you
didn’t let Khaya even turn 2.
Changing diapers must be nice, hey.”
He looks at me. No, he stares at me.
Did I..? Oh, shit.
“You don’t know,” I’m dead.
Salo is going to kill me.
He pulls his phone from the drawer,
he’s calling Salo. What have I done?
Salo didn’t even confirm it, I just took
Aunt Teekay’s word because she’s the
best when it comes to detecting
pregnancy.
“Please don’t call her, she will kill
me,” I beg.
He drops the phone. Is that a smile on
his phone?
“I heard from Aunt Teekay, I don’t
know if she’s confirmed it yet. Don’t
sell me out, find other ways to hear it
from her,” I say.
“Why would she hide such good news
from me?”
“I don’t think it’s good news. Didn’t
you tell her you had a vasectomy?”
Fuck, I know too much about people’s
business.
He’s shocked.
“Let me go back to work.” I lift my
gossip-thirsty ass up and leave before
spilling more beans.
Eish, I didn’t ask about Nokwanda’s
situation.
CHAPTER 16
SPHAKAMISO

It’s Sunday, I’m off from work and

meeting with Nokwanda to discuss
more about her pregnancy.
Malibongwe is understandably
disappointed.
I see him before I leave, Ima has been
sick again. As weird as it may sound,
Ima being sick is a good thing in this
family. I want to know when
Malibongwe is going to find out what
message Mkhuleko is sending this
time. I hope he wants us to go where
he is, I miss that idiot.
Miyanda gets up and takes Ima as I
walk in.
“I wasn’t chasing you out,” I say.
She laughs, “Don’t worry, I was going
to the kitchen anyway.”
She walks out with Ima, he’s not that
sick.
“Are you going to see a sangoma
about it?”
“He’s teething,” he says.
“Really?” I’m disappointed.
“Yeah, it has nothing to do with
Mkhuleko.”
“That sucks! I came to ask that, I’m
going out, I will be home before 7pm,”
I say.
“If you will come back,” he says.
I’m confused. What does he mean?
“If Nokwanda doesn’t get you hooked
again. We all know that your sense
rushes down your ass when you’re
with her. If you used your head we
wouldn’t be here,” he says.
“She’s thinking about abortion, I just
want her to keep the baby until the
paternity is proven. If I don’t go she
will make decisions on her own.”
“That just says a lot about her. Good
luck though, you need it.” He lies on
his back and pushes a pillow to his
chest and sighs heavily.
I walk out with a heavy chest.
-
-
-

I have never seen her with just her

natural short hair. She’s leaning
against her car outside the shop. I
don’t hate her, I just wish we never
met.
I pass her and open the shop. She
follows after a minute, I close the door
and open the windows.
“You can have a seat,” I say.
Malibongwe brought a bar fridge, I
have cold drinks but I don’t know if
they’re safe for pregnant people.
I really don’t want to look at her.
“How are you?” I ask.
“I’ve seen better days,” she says.
“How is your mom?” I ask.
“I don’t know, we haven’t talked in a
while. How are you?” she asks.
Does she even care?
“I’m stressed Nokwanda,” I say.
“Let’s make a decision.” She’s still on
about this nonsense. I don’t support
her killing the baby, whether it’s mine
or not.
“Keep the baby, please,” I beg.
“Why if it’s brings more stress and
sadness into our lives? Is it worth it?”
“You and I have faced storms in our
lives. A baby cannot break us.” I’m not
ready to be a father again but I know I
will be a good father if the time comes.
“Nkatha is mad,” she says.
I can never imagine Aphelele calling
me Sphakamiso, I’m black.
“Is it my fault?” I ask.
“No, it’s my fault. I’m really sorry
about this. I know you feel like I
targeted you. I was playing games
with you, maybe childish too. But a
baby was not anywhere on my plans. I
just wanted you to want me, there was
never a Wise in the picture. The watch
you threw out was Nkatha’s, as well
as the socks. Wise is a friend, we’ve
never had any intimate relationship.”
Maybe she’s making sense in her
head, to me she’s not.
“You are friends with men?” I ask.
“Yeah, we hang out, there’s nothing
going on between us. His girlfriends
know me, he knows about you. We are
not romantically or sexually involved,
I said that because you were playing
too hard to get.”
She played too hard to get after
having sex with me, not the other way
around.
“I hope you don’t expect me to believe
you,” I say.
She releases a deep breath, “Yeah, I
know it’s too late. I’m just trying to tell
you that I didn’t do this on purpose.”
“I still need to do DNA test when the
baby is born. We can be cordial for
now, call me when you need
something, I will also check up on you
if you care to answer my calls.”
“Thank you.” She’s tearing up.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve
seen her cry recently. Now I’m
starting to believe they’re real tears
and they have nothing to do with our
situation. She did cry over paper
straws.
“This could’ve been avoided
Nokwanda.” I feel heartless standing
across her while she’s breaking down.
But if I hug her I’m betraying my own
feelings. I should be crying too, I also
have my own shit.
CHAPTER 17
NOKWANDA

I didn’t expect Nkatha to be in such a

good mood. He’s in the kitchen
cooking, it’s not a daily thing. Did I
forget my birthday, maybe?
I walk in and greet. Sometimes he
talks to me, sometimes he doesn’t.
“Go change and come back, I need
help with dinner,” he says.
“What are we celebrating?”
“You might have a little brother or
sister on the way.” He’s smiling from
ear to ear.
He might have a grandchild on the
way too but he’s mad about it.
“Is Salo pregnant?” I’m shocked.
Is it not too soon? I mean, Khaya is
still young on his own.
“Yep, but she doesn’t know that I
know already,” he’s the happiest man
alive.
“So we are celebrating the
pregnancy?” I can’t believe how
biased men are.
“Yes, we are actually adults who have
settled down and secured our future.
We can make babies because we
afford them.”
Yey, parents! You’d swear they never
made mistakes during their youth
years. He forgets that he made me
when he was still in university.
“Who afford babies?”
Do people even walk in this family?
I go and take Khaya from her, they say
practice makes perfect.
“You and him,” I say.
Nkatha is not pleased.
“No, we don’t,” she disagrees.
Mmmmmnmmm!
“Nokwanda go and change,” –
Nkatha.
He doesn’t want me to hear him
getting his ass roasted. I doubt Salo is
excited to get pregnant while Khaya is
this young.

I get to my room and change into my

cotton pants and loose Tee. I’m not
showing yet, I still have my flat
tummy. I’m still not sure about what I
really want.
My phone rings. Who is this? I’m
walking around eggshells with
Nkatha, I have to go and help him
with dinner.
Whoah, Thule?
“Ma, I’ve been trying to get hold of
you since last year,” I’m actually
relieved to receive this call.
“The drama that you have Nokwanda,
I wonder who you took after!” She’s
laughing, sounding so happy and free.
“How are you doing?” I ask like a
concerned parent.
“I’m okay baby and you?” she asks.
Where do I even start?
“I’m pregnant,” I say.
“Wow baby, congratulations!”
“The father wants DNA tests to be
done. He’s not sure the baby is his and
he doesn’t want a baby,” I say,
confiding in my mother.
“Oh mntanami, so you’re going to be a
single mom?” she asks.
“I might be.” I’m fighting back tears.
“I’m scared to abort, he also doesn’t
want me to abort just in case it’s his
baby.”
“Your father can afford the grand
baby. But if you want to send it back
to the sender you can, your body your
rules sweety.”
“What if I don’t go to heaven?” I ask.
“Then you will be with your father
and I in hell.” She must be high on
something. Maybe she’s going to hell
but my father is not.
“Okay, thank you for calling me back.
I have to go and help with dinner,” I
say.
“Errr sweety, how solid are you this
month?” She wants money.
“I will send an Ewallet before bed,” I
say.
“Okay, mommy loves you, toodles!”
She doesn’t love me as much as she
claims. She loves what I give her,
emotionally and financially. I make a
lot of sacrifices.
I walk into a heated argument in the
kitchen. Khaya is witnessing it all. Salo
seems livid, Nkatha apologetic.
“Is everything alright?” I ask.
“Take cutlery to the dining room.”
“Hawu Nkatha!” I’m just a concerned
fan of love. Maybe I can help, who
knows.
“UNkatha unyoko, take cutlery to the
dining room now!” He’s now
shouting, God help.
By the way unyoko wami is not
Nkatha, she’s Thule, I don’t know
what he’s trying to say.
“You’re too old for these tricks,” I hear
Salo saying behind me.
“I was going to tell you I reversed
vasectomy, just that Nokwanda has
been giving me a lot of headache.”
For real now? He’s blaming me for
going behind her back to reverse
vasectomy and making her pregnant.
“I’m 10 weeks already, Nokwanda
only started being crazy recently, so
don’t lie Nkatha.”
Thank you Salo. I’m not crazy though,
I have never been.
When I return back to the kitchen they
cut their argument short. She must
continue, I’m enjoying it.

We sit down for dinner, I have Khaya

on my lap. His behavior gets better as
he grows. Now he can stay quiet for
five minutes, especially if there’s a toy
in his hands.
“You’re practicing already,” Salo says.
“No, I’m bonding with my brother. “
The more my pregnancy is talked
about the more Nkatha gets mad.
“So am I getting a sibling?” I ask.
She takes a deep sigh and throws
daggers at Nkatha.
“She’s asking,” she says.
“Yes, you’re going to be a sister again.
Salo and I are expecting,” he says.
I’m not going to say congratulations.
“You shouldn’t have been reckless,
condoms are there for a reason,” I say.
His face turns darker. He’s pulling his
brows. “Who do you think you are?
You are a child here.”
“I think Salo would agree with me.” I
look at her. Wouldn’t she?
“It’s not even recklessness, someone
decided to be a bully,” she says.
“I hate bullies,” I say.
“Me too, I hate people who think their
way is the only way and can’t even
consult others before making decisions
that affect everyone’s life.”
“Exactly!” I love this very much.
“Okay, pregnant ladies, can we eat?”
I hope Salo puts him in the guest
bedroom for this. He’s full of it.
CHAPTER 18
SPHAKAMISO

I’m at Aunt Teekay’s house dropping

Aphelele’s lunch for the week. She
told me not to worry about it but
whenever I get money I think about
my son. I try to show up as much as I
can. Well, there’s another thing I want
to tell her about. I don’t know how
she’s going to take it.
“Sanibonani,” I greet.
“Kunini silindile!” She grabs shopping
bags in my hands and screams for
Aphelele to come out.
My boy seems to be grown each time I
see him. I pick him up and kiss his
lips.
“How is my big boy?” I ask.
“Bafo,” he still says this.
“Bafo, usharp?”
“Yes, I’m eating a hotdog.”
“Really?” I poke his stomach, he
laughs uncontrollably.
He’s talking about a plastic toy of a
hotdog. I have to pretend to eat it also
because he’s set a fake lunch on the
coffee-table.
“He told me that he saw his aunts,”
Aunt Teekay says.
“From the Mzimelas, yes.” I’m not
keen on him having a relationship
with them. I don’t think they care
enough either, he’s just a child
Snenhlanhla mistakenly conceived
during work.
“Is the main character back on the
streets?” She’s talking about his
mother, lately he’s been asking a lot
about her. It must be the kids at his
school giving him pressure.
“Yes, she escaped from the rehab.”
“It’s demons,” she says.
“Or just drugs,” I say.
“Drugs are demons,” she insists.
I don’t think they are but who am I to
go against Aunt Teekay?
“Has Nondu told you anything?” I
ask.
“About what?” She frowns.
“A girl called Nokwanda and I.”
“No, why?” She gives me a suspicious
look. She’s aging but with grace.
“Ayy, ukuthi nje there are stories
coming up. Her and I had a thing
going on for a moment,” I say.
“What stories?” I don’t trust the way
she’s looking at me. She’s going to
overreact.
“Stories that she might be pregnant be
me,” I say.
“Hhayi-bo Sphakamiso. Didn’t you
say you want to pursue your degree
next year?”
“I did,” I nod shamefully.
“So how are you going to do that with
a little baby?” She’s asking a valid
question, just that I don’t have an
answer yet.
“I don’t know Aunty, I didn’t want a
baby but if it’s really mine then I don’t
want its soul terminated. I’d rather
run the shop forever, as long as I’m
able to feed them.”
“Baba you’re having a baby?”
Aphelele comes out of nowhere with
the question. I didn’t think he’d
understand this.
“I might be. Will you be a good
brother if there’s a baby?” I ask.
“Yes!” He’s too excited for this. “I
want a baby like Enhle but not girl.”
“Oh, he wants a baby brother,” Aunt
Teekay laughs.
Now, how am I going to make sure
the baby comes out as a boy?
“Why not a sister?” I ask.
“Because Enhle and Yoli.” He has
enough sisters, he doesn’t want more.
“Next time you take him home take
him to her bed, once he’s asleep get an
elder to whisper in his ear. Tell him
the truth about Yoli’s whereabouts.”
“He will be heartbroken,” I’m not
comfortable. It hurts when he thinks
Yoli is still alive but at least it keeps
him happy.
“No, he will wake up the next day at
peace,” Aunt Teekay says.
“Okay, I will try.” It’s been over half a
year since Yoli and MaVilakazi died
but the pain is still fresh like
yesterday. One of the killers died in
prison by suicide. I don’t know about
others, they mysteriously vanished.
Mpatho is smooth, nobody can ever
see him coming. There were three
people involved, we still don’t know
who was behind it and I guess now
we will never know.
CHAPTER 19

I have seen things that no normal

human being should see. And I have
survived. I have been under the water,
I have stayed there, I have felt my
spirit leaving my body. But most of
all, I have learned. I can interpret my
own dreams, I can use my extra senses
and I can read my palm accurately.
Things have happened around here. I
have seen people drop and die, I have
helped them get buried in the middle
of the night. Just digging deep graves
and throwing them inside. Not
everything is legal and morally right. I
had to accept that and leave with it.
Just a few days ago I saw them
carrying a dead body of a 12 year old
boy, throwing it in an open grave. I
know what they did to him. We all do.
But we can’t do anything about it
except doing what we came here to do
and keeping our mouths shut.
I no longer eat meat unless it’s from a
slaughtered animal that I helped skin.
I don’t like meat from the butcheries.
It can’t be that Magedla kills people
every week for sacrifices and then
mysteriously afford strange looking
beef for every meal. Others think I’m
crazy but there’s no way I will ever
put myself in a risk to eat human flesh.

“There’s a new girl,” someone yells.

It’s always an excitement when
someone joins us in this traumatic
environment.
“She’s white,” he says. It’s Msomi
from Richard’s Bay. He’s mental
unstable, those who know say he’s
been here for 15 years. I have never
seen her heal a patient, Magedla is just
keeping him around to run errands.
“Who’s going to mentor her?” I ask.
It must be someone who knows
English. Everybody knows that my
English teacher fell sick when I was in
high school, I never got a chance to
learn English well.
“You,” all four of them say.
“No, ikhehla lami doesn’t want me to
speak foreign languages.” I have never
tried it but I know Vilakazi won’t like
that. He died during times where
white people were oppressing the
blacks, I’m sure he hates English.
“You will inform him. You’re not even
a year old here but you’re already
refusing duties.” They’re trying to
blackmail me.
I haven’t been here for a year but I can
survive under the water, I have healed
more people than them, and I happen
to be Magedla’s current favourite
because he gets to practice his
witchcraft in peace knowing that my
presence will purify his alter.

Drums start rolling, Magedla is

bringing her here. I can’t believe we
are a rainbow nation even in sacred
places like this. They crawl out on
their knees to welcome her. I pretend
to be asleep. I don’t want to be
appointed to show her around. I’m
saving the little English that I have for
when I get back to the real world.
They start singing outside the door. I
know how Msomi, Malahle,
Lulwandle and Mboni sing. It’s like
you have put a bird, a bee, a lion and
drunk person on one stage. The
smooth voice definitely belongs to the
newbie. At last Jay-Z has met his
Beyonce. I was tired of carrying notes
alone.
But she sings in Zulu? This means
she’s a white person from Stanger or
Maritzburg. I almost took sleeping
medicine for nothing.
They walk with her in, she’s white as a
snow. But this is not a white person.
She just lacks melanin and half of her
eyes. I’ve never seen such tiny eyes in
my life.
Can she even see?
“Yes, I can see,” she says.
What the fuck?
“Are you a mind reader?” I ask.
“You said that loud. I’m Nosipho,
Gogo MaDlamini,” she says.
“Thokoza!” I bow to her.
Can she see the whole gesture
properly?
“So you’re not white?” Mboni asks. He
was born in the 70s, he’s the left-overs
of apartheid, hence the ignorance.
“No, she lives with albinism,” I say.
Nosi smiles at me. “Thank you.”
“So did you come here because you
had a vision or you are sick?” They’re
still going to drill her with questions.
I have to prepare her room. The three
of us share an open space because we
are all men. But Nosipho can’t, there’s
a room behind us that she’s going to
use.
“I have a gift that needs elevation,”
she says.
“How did you find out?”
“From Mkhulu’ Magedla, he saw me
in town and started telling me
everything. Everything I went through
as a child, to my parents history and
their ups and downs. He’s truly the
Great One.”
Msomi came here the same way. I
don’t know why I’m not getting a
good feeling about this. Magedla did
become a traditional doctor at the age
of 14, he’s trained and healed a lot of
people in his life. He’s in his late 70s
now. But he’s lost his credibility, he’s
now a criminal that wears a leopard
skin. Yes, he literally wears it.
“But what makes you think you have
a gift?” I ask.
“Because I dream a lot. I had many
dreams of Mkhulu calling me to this
place. I’m destined to be here, my
future lies in here.”
“Thokoza!” the fools clap.
Am I the only one who’s seeing this?
Or is it that I’m the only one who’s
had access to the news and internet
recently. I know what people like
Magedla think of people like Nosi.
She’s not here to be trained for shit.
They’re going to kill her.

I know this will put my life in

jeopardy. We don’t talk about things
that happen here, not even to each
other. Nobody told me about all the
dark things Magedla does here, I
found out on my own. Maybe after
one month, I started being suspicious
and seeing things.
When she walks in to her room her
eyes widen. She didn’t expect a coop,
did she?
“You will sleep here,” I tell her.
“What if a wild animal comes in? Even
a person passing by can push their
arm inside and grab me.” She’s funny.
Did she think Magedla owns
mansions and penthouses.
“You need to leave,” I tell her.
“I just got here. I handed my
resignation letter at work to come and
do this.” She drops her bag and opens
her small window.
“I hope I’m not going to be trained
with weird people who cry and faint.”
“You’re facing one of them,” I say.
“Oh my word! Do you do that often?”
“I don’t know what often means to
you. Nosipho, I mean it. You’re at the
wrong place,” I tell her. I don’t think
she will make it to a week. I can’t even
feel anything from her, Magedla
obviously sent his creatures to make
her get dreams. This is a trap. Next
thing they will tell her parents that she
went under the water. I know people
who are waiting for their relatives ro
come back from the river, they don’t
know that Magedla put them six feet
under the ground.
“You are really weird. What’s your
name?” she asks.
“Mkhuleko Mcineka,” I say.
“Nice to meet you. Can I change?”
“Nosipho!” Can she take me serious? I
have been here, I know the kind of shit
that happens.
She squints her already non-existent
eyes and smiles. Lord, her smile! This
girl belongs to magazines, not in the
forests digging roots with Mboni and
Msomi.
“I have to go and see Mkhulu for
briefs, please,” she says softly.
I will give her space. But if Magedla
thinks he’s going to kill her like all
other people he’s killed, then he has
another thing coming. I don’t even
know what he keeps sacrificing for,
he’s poor as Nombuso and
Sphakamiso.
CHAPTER 20
SPHAKAMISO

Nokwanda changed for a few weeks. I

could get hold of her, she texted me
back and gave me necessary updates.
That was until two days ago, I can’t
get hold of her. I’m worried at this
point, she might be going through
something. The more I talk about it the
more I start accepting that I might be a
father again.
I try not to be stressed in front of my
family because everything is, “I told
you so”. They are always expecting
Nokwanda to pull a stunt and break
my heart. Even Nondu and Salo. I
don’t think anyone would’ve
supported this relationship even if it
existed.
I go straight to my room after dinner. I
try calling her one more time.
“Phakaaaa!” She’s answering.
“Nokwanda can you hear me?”
There’s so much noise where she is.
“I’m at Club 2.0, I’m drunk,” she yells.
“You’re drunk?” I’m confused. At her
state she’s drunk?
“Amnandi amaSavanna!” she’s
singing.
I drop the call. Where is Club 2.0?
What the fuck is this girl doing? When
is she ever going to grow up?

Malibongwe is standing outside.

Idlozi lingifulathele straight, which
has been a case since I was born.
“Can I take your car?” I ask.
“Where are you going at this time?”
“I’m fetching Nokwanda, she’s in a
club drunk,” I say.
“The key is on top of the dressing
table,” he says.
It’s weird that he has nothing more to
say, like he expects things like this to
happen to me.
I Google the place before driving out.
I’m going to Zinkwazi, hopefully I will
find her still there.

I have reached many breaking points

with Nokwanda. Manzini failed this
girl but he’s looking for me up and
down like I spoiled an angel.
It’s packed in here, I can’t even find a
parking space. I leave the car beside
the road and walk in.
I manage to walk past the bouncers
but how am I going to find her in a
full club?
She’s no longer answering her phone.
I only have one option; the DJ. I need
him to turn off the music and give me
the mic.
I look like a hooligan grabbing a mic
from her. Everyone howls when the
music stop.
“Nokwanda go to the door,” I
announce.
Silence.
“Nokwanda Zungu, you’re pregnant,
you shouldn’t be here,” I say.
Gasps.
“Phuma Maka Syeza,” they start
yelling. This is embarrassing for her
but she’s left me no choice.
“Mfethu you’re disturbing my work.”
This bloody DJ mustn’t test! Bouncers
know the drill. Nokwanda is
pregnant, she shouldn’t have been
allowed here in the first place.
After her fellow drunks call her out I
see her making her way to the exit
door. I thank the pissed DJ and make
my way to her.
She has a glass in her hand, I grab it
and throw it away.
“How did you get here?” I ask.
“Wise,” she can’t even walk straight.
So assistant father brought her here. I
pull her to the car by the road and
drive home with her.
CHAPTER 21
SPHAKAMISO

I leave her in bed, still snoring. I have

to prepare her water before Nombuso
wakes up and starts asking questions.
“Am I going to get my car back?”
Well, Malibongwe is here instead.
“Can I drive her home first?” I ask.
He sighs and takes Ima’s cereal from
the cupboard. His silence on
Nokwanda’s situation is loud.
“Morning,” she walks in.
It’s just after 6, why is everyone up?
“Is Ima hungry so early in the
morning?” she asks.
“Yeah, he’s crying,” Malibongwe says.
“Miyanda needs to introduce him to
maize porridge, he will get full and
strong,” she says.
I’m just holding my breath, can she
leave after talking about porridges.
“Who is the tray for? You serve Ima
on a tray?” she asks.
Malibongwe points at me with his
head. Sigh.
“You have a guest?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I’m hoping she will drop it.
But not Nombuso.
“Who?” she asks.
“Nokwanda,” I say and embrace
myself for a long speech.
“She better wake up because I want to
clean all the houses,” she says.
“You never clean my room, thanks for
the offer though,” I say.
“I want my charger,” she says.
“I will bring it.” Can she stop already?
“What is she doing here?” Now she’s
not going through the corners.
“She could be carrying my baby
Nombuso. You don’t like her, fine, but
don’t make my life harder than it
already is, I beg of you.”
“I don’t know her,” she says.
“Do you want to?” I ask.
“Oh, yes. In fact let me make breakfast
for you.” She grabs the bread from me.
Something cannot be right about this.
I look at Malibongwe. Is he just going
to let her do this?
“How does she like her tea?” she asks.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“How does she like her Savanna?”
Malibongwe, I don’t know what he’s
trying to achieve.
I know they don’t like her but there’s
no need this hate. I take her bathwater
to her. She’s still asleep.
Unfortunately I have to wake her up
and take her home before Malibongwe
takes his car back. The Tazz broke
down, I don’t think I will be fixing it
any time soon.
“Do people in the village wake up at
this time?” She’s squinting her eyes
looking around.
I won’t lie, she has the looks. It shows
that she grew up eating cakes and
milk. Her skin is smooth, no single
spot.
“I have to drive you home,” I say.
“How did you find me?” she asks.
“I called and you told me. I didn’t
expect that from you but I guess I was
stupid once again,” I say.
“Askies, I didn’t think I’d end up
there, drinking. I must call Nkatha,
did you see my phone?”
“I put it in charger,” I say.
She turns and takes it. I honestly don’t
even have the strength to reason with
her. She said “askies”, I guess that was
an apology.

I get in bed while she pours water into

the basin to bath. I should give her
some privacy but I don’t want to deal
with Nombuso and Malibongwe.
She’s not shy to get her clothes off. I
should keep my eyes off her
because…I’m trying to be a man of
morals.
She dries with a towel. I’m hard, I
can’t control my eyes from going to
her. It’s either I need to pray or to get a
life. I can’t be still attracted to
someone who’s hurt me like this.
“Do you want to lotion my back?”
“Nokwanda awukahle.” I’m not even
firm with my words. Nokwanda
doesn’t take no, she wasn’t raised like
that.
“Okay,” she gives up.
I’m surprised by how quick she’s
giving up. I offer her my T-shirt to
wear. It’s hard to focus knowing that
she’s not wearing anything under that
skirt.
When she sees my erected front she
laughs. She knows how much hold
she has over me.

I come back, she’s looking at herself in

the mirror. I make the bed and sweep,
then open the door and windows.
I pray Nombuso doesn’t give me
unnecessary problems.
“My sister wants to see you,” I say.
“The one who hates me?” She knows
that Nombuso doesn’t like her.
“It’s not that she hates you, she just
doesn’t know you,” I say.
“Okay,” she agrees.
I go to the kitchen to check on
Nombuso. She’s done.
“I hope you didn’t put any poison.”
She rolls her eyes, “I wouldn’t waste
my sins killing her. Please boil more
water for me.”
I’m not staying behind. I’m boiling it
and following her.

I almost break my ankles running

inside. Is Nokwanda okay? I don’t
trust my sister, she’s a pyscho more
than her.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“I’m okay. What are you guys talking
about?” I look at Nokwanda.
“Pregnancy rules,” she says.
“Rules?” I look at Nombuso.
“Yes, like not drinking alcohol, not
sleeping around and put the baby at
risk, definitely not wearing crop-tops
and showing the belly buttons. And
not coming here without wrapping
her head, if this is really her baby’s
family,” she says.
“Are you Muslims?” Nokwanda.
“No, we are Zulus, black people.
Wrap your head to show respect.”
“And how are you going to show me
respect?” Nokwanda.
I wish she can just keep shut.
“Why must we show you respect?”
“Am I not a human?” she asks.
“It doesn’t work like that. This is not
Umhlanga…”
“Ballito,” Nokwanda corrects her.
“Whatever, we have different rules
around here. Next time park your car
outside the yard when you’re coming
here, uzosingenisela izulu.”
“How? You already have two cars in
the yard. How is mine going to attract
thunder?”
“Because it’s not reported to the
ancestors,” Nombuso says.
“Yimovie!” Nokwanda claps her
hands and picks a slice of bread to it.
I’m happy she’s eating today. We are
taking baby steps towards mutual
respect and understanding.
CHAPTER 22
MKHULEKO

Dogs barked the whole night. I

couldn’t sleep, I kept thinking about
Nosipho. This is not the place she
thinks it is. I’m still here because I
know I can survive until I get what K
came here for. She’s just an innocent
girl who was tricked to come here and
become a sacrifice.
I’ve been keeping an eye on Magedla
but that old man moves stealthily like
a snake. I hope that has happened. I’m
still trying to figure out where I’m
going to find proof. Nosipho doesn’t
believe me, she thinks I’m just
delusional and standing on her way.
I put my trouser on and wrap ibhayi
on top and go out. I head to Nosipho’s
room and notice that the door is
widely open.
My chest tightens. I’m sure
Imangothando is inheriting this
wherever he is. Poor boy. He gets
uncomfortable when I am. I hate it but
it’s the only way I can stay connected
to my family.
I make my way in, Nosipho’s bed is
neatly made like she didn’t even sleep
here. I check her bags, it doesn’t look
like she took anything. She’s sane, she
wouldn’t leave all her belongings
behind.
I rush out and head to Magedla’s hut.
I’m stopped by his right-hand man. If
not summoned, you provide a valid
reason why you’re here.
“Nosipho is not in her room,” I say.
“And who is Nosipho?” He’s so
relaxed with his smelly armpits.
“Gogo MaDlamini,” I say.
“She went to the river with Magedla.”
“To the river?” No, no, no.
Nosipho should’ve listened. If
anything happens to her I will never
forgive myself.
I’m running with no shoes on,
crossing the bush and climbing the
hill. I hope I’m not too late.
Just as I turn by umthombothi I see
her. She’s carrying a brown bag,
Magedla is behind her.
They stop and look at me suspiciously.
“Hey, are you okay?” I ask.
“Yes. What are you running from?”
I look at Magedla. Filthy, old man
with the wisdom that I need.
“Thokoza Mkhulu,” I’m just faking it
so that I can make it. I’m counting
every second.
“I panicked when I heard that
Nosipho went to the river so early in
her journey,” I say.
“Who is that?” he asks.
“My apologies, Gogo MaDlamini.”
“She’s fine, you can run back home to
your duties,” he looks angry.
What’s so bad about me checking up
on a fellow trainee?
Nosipho is just smiling cluelessly. I’m
sure he’s already put umathothobala
on her. Why would she walk such a
long journey with an old man whose
dick is always erect? Having an erect
dick in your 70s is also a problem on
its own.

I lie on the floor, exhausted. Msomi

has prepared meat for breakfast. I will
have cabbage, they know I’m part time
vegetarian.
“Where were you?” he asks, between
loud chews.
“I went to check on Nosipho, she was
at the river with Magedla,” I say.
He laughs. “Are you lusting over
Magedla’s apprentice now?”
“Lusting? I just want her to be safe.”
“Phela if your sexual desires
overshadow your senses I can mix
something for you to calm yourself
until your journey is complete.”
“Give your master that mixture, he
needs it,” I say.
“How do you expect him to take care
of his 5 wives if he drinks umthambisi
wezinsizwa?”
“He’s in his 100s, he needs to retire.”
I don’t like Magedla, I want to be done
and go start my life.
Nosipho comes in to collect her food. I
need to talk to her again. I put my T-
shirt on and follow her.
She’s sitting on the floor eating with
her hands. She’s older than me by few
years. But I’m taller, so it doesn’t
matter.
“Mkhuleko, you should stop being
sceptical about everything,” she says.
She already knows that I’m here to
preach.
“I have seen things Nosipho,” I say.
“Mkhulu did say you dream a lot and
end up confusing reality with
dreams.”
Oh, so he already knows that I’m on
his back and he’s working on
confusing her.
“I think you treat me differently
because I’m a girl and I’m an albino.”
“No, Nosipho that’s not true.” How
do I explain this? It has nothing to do
with her.
Fuck, it has everything to do with her.
“I just want you to be safe,” I say.
“I am safe,” she chuckles and shakes
her head.
Can’t she see that I’m worried? I care
about her, she’s the only girl here.
“Why are you so naïve?” I ask.
“Now you’re insulting me. Can I eat
my food in peace?”
Phewwww!
CHAPTER 23
SPHAKAMISO

I’m at my first pregnancy check-up

ever. I have never done this. Aphelele
came to me as a grown baby.
“Mom and dad,” says the
gynaecologist smiling at us.
“How are you finding it so far?” he
asks Nokwanda.
“I don’t know, I don’t think about it.”
She’s right about that, she doesn’t
carry herself like someone who’s
pregnant. She definitely doesn’t think
about it.
“Don’t worry, soon you will feel him
or her. Please take your clothes off for
me.”
For him???
Naye uNokwanda ke! I can’t believe
the speech in which she strips her
clothes off for another man.
She lies on her back while he touches
her all over the tummy.
What is he looking for? I’m sure the
head hasn’t even developed yet.
He’s jotting things as he checks her.
Then he puts on surgical gloves and
tells her to open her legs.
“Excuse me, sorry, is this…?”
“I’m checking if she has any
infections. I know it might be
uncomfortable for you but I’m a
professional in this,” he says.
Professional in checking infections in
women’s vaginas?
Nokwanda is way too comfortable. I
can’t believe this. If I was paying her
medical bills I would’ve changed this
gynaecologist.
Everything is alright. It’s such a relief
but he’s setting up the next
appointment. I’m sure they don’t do
all this at the government clinic.

We grab lunch on our way back. I

don’t think we’ve ever been this
cordial before. Someone is finally
growing up.
She’s ordering two cheeseburgers.
“I’m having another sibling,” she says.
“How?” I don’t understand.
“My father is having a baby,” she says.
“Oh, wow!” I already knew, I’m just
acting surprised to make her happy.
“Are you happy?” I ask.
“No,” she says.
I remember what Nondu told me.
“Why?” I ask.
“Everyone will know that my father
and I were having sex at the same
time. It’s embarrassing.”
I can’t help but laugh.
“But it has helped because his mood
has improved ever since he heard the
news. He even forgot to punish me.”
“You get punished?” I’m shocked.
She doesn’t look like someone who’s
ever told that she’s wrong.
“He cut my allowance and take the
car. You don’t know him, he can be
cruel.”
Cruel? MaVilakazi did the real
punishment with a belt.
“Does he know that I threw away his
watch?” I ask.
“I told him I lost it. He said I will pay
for it when I’m old and working.”
“I still don’t understand why you lied
to me,” I say.
“What I did to you is what you did to
me, ignoring me and not answering
my calls. I just doubled the effort and
added spices. Do you want me to call
Wise?”
“No, there’s no need. I just find the
whole thing childish,” I say.
“I’m childish most of the times.
Sometimes I even act like an infant.”
That’s very true. I’m sure she even acts
like an unborn.
“How is your mom?” I ask.
“She was okay the last time we
spoke,” she says.
“Does she know that you’re
pregnant?” I ask.
“Yep, she said congratulations.”
In my next life I want to have parents
like hers.
“Can we not talk about her?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m sorry if I crossed the
line,” I say.
She smiles and looks at me. Sometimes
she acts like she’s in love with me,
sometimes she’s a complete different
thing.
“Your haircut looks cute on you,” she
says.
This is not my first time cutting my
hair like this. Maybe she’s just in love.
“You’re blushing,” she says.
“That’s a lie, I’m just smiling at my
food.” A man like me can never blush.
She rolls her eyes and laughs.
CHAPTER 24
NONDUMEZULU

We finally went on our vacation with

the kids. Nzuzo is a lot as usual. We
got here yesterday, I don’t know how
many demands he’s made. Nkalipho
is the kids’ favorite parent and I’m just
a person who makes them food.
He manages to get Nzuzo to sleep on
his bed. Now we can have quality
time together. Enhle is just a clueless
angel, she doesn’t fuss.
I put her on the carpet and join her
father on the couch with a bottle of
champagne. This parenting thing is
not easy.
“I can’t believe it takes us 3 hours to
get Nzuzo in bed.” It’s supposed to be
better at this age.
“He’s just restless because he’s
keeping an eye on Enhle. Tomorrow I
will remain here with Enhle, you have
to go with him to games and movies.”
“Just the two of us?” I ask.
“Yes, like old times. Mom and son.
Reassure him and be honest to him
about Solwazi. I think he will
understand, Nzuzo is smarter than we
think,” he says.
“What do I say? Your father is waiting
for a divorce then he will be your
father again?” I don’t know how
people do this. What I know is cutting
the relationship and accepting that I’m
the only responsible parent.
“Just tell him that he’s going through
some major life issues and remind him
of how much Solwazi loves him. All
those crazy stunts of his coming to
take him to school in trucks and
motorbikes because Nzuzo asked him
to. Buying him expensive sneakers
until you complain that people will
say uthwele. Their ice-cream outings,
park visits and soccer matches.”
I think his brother instincts are acting.
Since when does he praise Solwazi like
this? One thing about me, I’m not a
fan of Solwazi and I’m not his
cheerleader.
“There’s something I want you to hear
and make Nzuzo listen to tomorrow.”
He scrolls down his phone and plays a
voicenote. It’s Solwazi, hoarse like he’s
recovering from Covid;
“Hey boy, this is your father. I miss
you so much, I wish I was there with
you. I hope you’re still doing well at
school. I’m still held up, going
through some adults issues. But I
promise once it’s all over you and I are
going to be together, forever. I love
you so much, I hope you never forget
that.”
Okay….right.
Nkalipho is looking at me. I’m not
sure what he wants me to say.
“He’s remorseful,” he says.
“I can hear that,” I say.
“So, are we giving him time?”
He’s bored me for two years straight.
Samantha is not stupid. I don’t know
what his plans are but I know that
Samantha is ten steps ahead.
“I applaud her,” I think out loud.
“Who?” He frowns.
“Samantha, she pulled a number. He
will never recover from this. She’s my
role model,” I say.
“Role model yok’feba? Hhayi-bo kahle
wena.” He goes and takes Enhle from
the floor.
I don’t care what anyone thinks, I’m
team Samantha. She’s hurt Solwazi for
all of us; me and all other girls he
played.
He’s a joke.
I will only protect his image from
Nzuzo because of Nkalipho.
CHAPTER 25
SPHAKAMISO

Mpatho is officially getting married.

The date has been set, invites sent out.
He’s overtook Malibongwe and
Miyanda. These two are now relaxed,
they’re not even talking about
wedding dates.
Malibongwe was asked to be a
groomsman. I’m not surprised the
request wasn’t extended to me. It
would’ve been weird. I’m okay at the
back watching. It’s a small wedding,
strictly by invitation. I think that also
makes his arrangements easier than
Malibongwe’s. Malibongwe will have
a traditional wedding here in the
village, people will come because they
saw a tent, invited or not. Mpatho is
having a white wedding. There’s a
theme, all men have to wear shirts and
long pants.
“I never told you that Nondu’s man
invited to a conference thing to mingle
with KZN big shots. I didn’t go
because I wasn’t sure you would be
comfortable,” I tell him.
“Why?” He frowns, like he doesn’t
know his own reputation.
“What if I bump into your enemies?”
“Hhayi-bo Sphakamiso, I did clean
jobs, when I was solid enough to build
my own legacy I stopped. There’s no
need for you to keep looking over
your shoulders.”
“Okay, I will accept his invite on the
next one. He’s in the construction
business and it sounds like he knows
people,” I tell him.
“It sounds like the Mhlongos are not
financially struggling. Why are they
not getting the man in jail out?”
“I doubt anyone wants him home. Not
even his kids.” I have thought about
going to see him. He’s the closest thing
I have to a father.
Someone screams.
It’s Miyanda.
We are sitting in the veranda but it
takes Malibongwe only one minute to
get to his rondavel. I’m right behind
him.
Is it Ima?
I run inside, Malibongwe has taken
him from his mother. It looks like he
fainted again.
Water doesn’t wake him up. I have to
get any piece of Mkhuleko from the
room.
I grab the first thing, his jacket. I run
back and give it to Malibongwe. As
soon as he wraps it around Ima he
opens his eyes and cries.
Another message from Mkhuleko. It’s
a bittersweet moment because Ima
gets sick from this.
-
-
-

MKHULEKO

I was sent to Kwamhlabuyalingana to

get a certain root. It wasn’t a request
but an order. I cannot disobey
Magedla, nobody does. But at what
cost? He’s getting rid of me for a
reason. And that reason is Nosipho.
She still doesn’t take any of my
warnings seriously. I know I will not
find her alive once I leave.
So, I cannot leave her behind.

I should’ve left two hours ago, they

said when the sun sets down. He’s
planted men all around the yard. Still,
Nosipho doesn’t see anything strange
about all of this.
Mboni walks in. “You’re asked to
leave the premises. You have three
days to come back.”
“I have stomachache, I will leave as
soon as I feel better. Tell him not to
worry, two days is enough for me.”
“It’s an order, not a request,” he says.
I close my eyes and keep silent. I’m
taking Nosipho with me. I don’t know
how but she’s not going to be here if
I’m not here.
CHAPTER 26
SPHAKAMISO

We at the hospital, Ima started

bleeding from his mouth and nose.
Miyanda is crying this time around.
Malibongwe’s head is all over the
place. Is Mkhuleko doing this?
This is too much, the baby is now
connected to the oxygen because he’s
no longer breathing properly on his
own.
His other parents arrive. It’s midnight,
Phume is wearing her sleeping
pyjamas.
Mpatho pulls me to the side after
getting an update from the nurse in
charge.
“We have to go and find out what’s
going on,” he says.
“Now?” I ask.
“Yes, now.” He’s not negotiating.
I pick my jacket and follow him to the
car. We are going to the seer’s house at
this time.
I’m getting scared. Is Mkhuleko still
okay? Blood scares me because I don’t
understand what it means.

I don’t know how seers work. We

found the man already waiting for us.
He woke up from his sleep and came
to stand by the gate. He’s one of the
few legit ones.
“Your brother has left,” he says after
throwing his bones.
“Left to where?” He needs to explain
what he means by this.
“There’s no direction but I see blood.
There’s a big war coming,” he says.
“Is he still alive?” Mpatho asks.
“He’s alive, he didn’t complete his
journey. Heart matters were involved,
he lost direction.”
Hhayi-bo, Mkhuleko can’t do that. He
never allowed umjolo to distract him,
why would he start now when his life
depends on it?
“Where can we find him?” Mpatho.
“You can’t, he will rewrite his wrongs
first and come back home after
completing his journey,” he says.
“What about the baby? He’s sick
because of this,” I ask.
“Separate them, otherwise the baby
will carry his punishment.”
“Then how will Mkhuleko
communicate if we separate him from
Ima?”
He looks at me like I’m stupid. No, we
cannot cut off the only connection that
we have to our brother.
“What kind of war is this? Who wants
to fight him?” Mpatho asks. He
probably wants to go and throw a
bomb to whoever it is.
“It’s sacred wars. Go home and
separate the baby from him. Slaughter
a goat and rename him.” He’s done.
I walk out after Mpatho. I hope he
knows that we cannot separate
Mkhuleko from Imangothando.

“We are not separating them,” I say,

looking at him desperately in the car.
“So you want Imangothando to be a
sacrifice? No, Sphakamiso. It’s not fair
on that innocent soul.” He’s heartless,
he’s cruel.
“What about Mkhuleko?” I ask.
“As you heard, he has to fight
whatever war he’s started and
complete his journey.” He’s saying it
like he knows the journey is easy.
“He’s 22 years old. He got distracted
by a girl or whatever. What if they
want to kill him?” I’ve lost way too
many people in my life, I cannot
handle another lost.
-
-
-
Nobody heard my plea. They’re doing
the goat ceremony today,
reintroducing Imangothando to the
ancestors as Mnqobi. Even if
Mkhuleko faces difficulties where he
is, we will never know.
I haven’t slept, I haven’t eaten, all I
keep thinking about is my brother. Is
he okay where he is.
CHAPTER 27
SPHAKAMISO

I can smell the nicotine from her lips.

But I don’t ask her anything. I pin her
against the wall and pull her panty to
the side. I have wanted this for so
long. I held myself, held on to my
morals and proved to her that I was
mad.
But not today, today I have to release.
She grabs my neck, I lock my eyes
with her. She’s feeling every thrust,
calling my name.
I burst inside her, she slowly goes
down on the floor and sits. I kiss the
top of her head and find my way to
the bathroom.
I wash my face and look at my
reflection in the mirror. Everything
I’m going through is written in my
eyes. I grab a towel and wipe my face.
Nokwanda is probably waiting for me.
She’s a drama queen.
Indeed she’s still sitting on the same
spot. I separate her legs and wipe her.
She’s staring at me the whole time. I
lean over and kiss her cheek.
“I missed you,” I tell her.
She slightly frowns and then smiles. I
don’t think she really believes me.

We sit on the bed. She has a box of

pizza on her lap. She eats a lot but I
don’t see where all the food goes. Her
tummy is no longer flat but she’s still
not evidently showing under her
baggy T-shirts.
“How is your mom?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes thinking I don’t see
her. “Thule is fine. Your brother?”
“They’re both fine,” I say.
“The one who left?” she asks.
“I don’t know.” It hurts that I’m even
saying this. I don’t know how my
mother’s last-born is.
“Can’t you visit him?” she asks.
“No, I don’t even know where he is,
whether he’s still alive or not.” I look
away because I don’t want pity. I’m
handling my emotions the best way I
know how but sometimes the pain
gets too much.
“I’m so sorry,” she puts her arm
around me. She has a soft side that she
hides most of the times.
“You’re so nice these days. Why?” I’m
smiling. I deny that she makes me
blush but she does, especially when
she frowns and smiles at the same
time.
“Because you’re a good guy. You’re
even too good for me. You’re honest,
firm in what you believe in, and
mostly you’re caring.”
“Thank you.” I’m blushing.
She kisses my cheek. Is she for real?
“A cheek?” I ask.
“I have food in mouth.”
“Swallow and give me a proper kiss.”
I made a right choice by coming here.
Being with her has made me forget all
my troubles.
-
-
-
I have terrible mood swings. Anger
issues, or whatever you call it. I
haven’t been on the best of terms with
anyone at home. I woke up from
Nokwanda’s place and went to the
shop.
I don’t think I have shared a table with
them since the ceremony.
“Sanibona,” I greet.
I’m feeling guilty seeing Miyanda and
now Mnqobi. I love my nephew, I
didn’t want him to become a sacrifice.
I was just concerned about Mkhuleko.
“Can I take him?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She passes him to me.
I sit and put him on my lap. I’m glad
he’s okay, I didn’t want anything bad
to happen to him.
“You’re cooking,” – Nombuso.
I’m not going to argue. I’m here for
peace, I will cook if I have to.
“Where have you been?” She comes
and sits opposite me.
“I was with Nokwanda,” I say.
“For a change it wasn’t her who
hunted you down. Have you designed
your outfit for Mpatho’s wedding?”
“I have a shirt,” I say.
“Your Identity shirts? Do you know
who’s coming to that wedding?”
“I don’t care, it’s not my wedding. I
will respect the theme, not empty my
slim pockets for one day.”
“Umuncu!” she says.
I don’t respond. If she’s wearing a
designer dress, Phume definitely
sponsored her. She’s poor just like me.
CHAPTER 28
SPHAKAMISO

It’s Salo’s lobola day. It’s just a day

before Mpatho’s wedding, I have to go
back home after they’ve concluded.
Salo’s love story is complicated as
mine and Nondu’s. Manzini is way
older than her. It doesn’t help that
Salo is not thick, they look like uncle
and niece. But where there’s money
and love, people will find a way.
I’m in a difficult position because I
might be indebted to the Zungus in
the next 6 months. And today I’m
sitting next to an old Mhlongo man
discussing how much they should pay
for Salo.
Manzini’s representatives came
prepared. They only negotiate because
it’s tradition, not because there’s a
price they can’t afford. They pay 6
cows and leave others because a girl
can’t be paid for in one day like a
piece of cloth.

Well, there’s Sbonga. The youngest

girl in the family. She’s the opposite of
Salo. I guess that’s how they ended up
knowing that she’s not a Mhlongo.
She’s out there, she’s street-smart, she
dresses in shorts and crop-tops. She
has multiple piercings on her body.
She is loud.

I sit with Sekhona in front of the

house. They’re serving food now.
Sekhona is a calm, well-spoken boy.
“Salo was meant for the old Manzini,
not Khaya’s father,” he says.
“Why do you say that?” I’m curious.
“His death and Khaya brought them
closer. I didn’t even know him before
that. They just fitted like pieces of the
puzzle,” he says.
“Mmmmm.” I don’t know how I’d feel
if one of my brothers took my
girlfriend after I die. One took my ex
and I was ready to hate him for the
rest of my life.
“Wena, when are you sending
lobola?” he asks.
Yoh, this child!
“Once I get enough money,” I say.
“Would you marry your babymama?”
“No,” I say with my full chest.
Never, ever! Not even if it was me and
her left in the world alone.
“I had a crush on her,” he says.
“Huh?” I’m confused.
“Yeah, I used to wish she can notice
me. But she never did, I’m just a little
boy to her. She loves big guys,” he
says.
“You’re talking about Nokwanda?”
“Yes, who did you think I was talking
about?” He’s laughing.
“Aphelele’s mother. With Nokwanda
it’s still complicated for now but I like
her vibe, I just don’t know if she can
settle down in a village.”
“So you’re the village type that gets
married and bring the wife home to
live with the whole family?”
“Yes.” I don’t know of any other way.
Now more than ever, I will never
leave my family.
“Nokwanda will never do that, so you
will have two babymamas and a
wife,” he says.
I laugh. That sounds wild. I never
imagined my life that scattered.
“One thing I can tell you about life, it’s
not about life. Life is not about life. It
doesn’t care about life,” I say.
“I love motivational quotes of
heartbroken men,” he says and laughs.
He will also learn about learn as he
meets his own Nkwandas in life.

I leave the Mhlongos late in the

afternoon and head to the Mshazis.
They’re not a big family, extended
family members will arrive tomorrow
on the actual day. I find Mpatho with
Beauty and another old man whom I
suppose is the one who led the lobola
negotiations.
I thought I’d find Malibongwe and
Nombuso already here. Miyanda
joined the bride’s family.
I’m not good in social settings, I tend
to keep to myself, especially when I’m
not close to anyone.
Mpatho offers me a drink.
“How is it?” he asks.
“I’m good, just tired.”
“And Nokwanda?”
He’s Team Anti-Nokwanda.
“She’s good,” I say.
“So niyaphusha while waiting for the
DNA to be conducted? You want them
to come out when your emotions are
deeply involved.”
I know it’s stupid of me but
Nokwanda is my happy place at the
moment. I enjoy being with her.
“I am leaving space for
disappointments,” I say.
“I know you’re not me, but if I was
you I would’ve put any attraction on
hold until I know the truth. What if
the baby is not yours? Can you be in a
relationship with someone who has
another man’s baby?”
“Mpatho, I don’t know. I will cross
that bridge when I get there. For now
I’m just focusing on the fact that she
makes me happy,” I say.
The truth is, I have started hoping the
baby is mine. It’s needless to say I’m
already believing that she wasn’t
romantically involved with Wise.
Nokwanda is childish, she can make
things like that up. I Googled the price
of the watch, it was really her father’s
because Wise is just a student, he can’t
afford a watch that expensive.
“Is Aphelele coming?” he asks.
“No, I didn’t invite him.” It didn’t
cross my mind.
“I’m his uncle, he doesn’t need an
invite.” He’s getting offended.
“I didn’t think about it,” I say.
“I don’t have to be enemies with your
son. I want to meet him, I want him to
meet Manzi. It’s my wedding, I will
never get married again, and you just
chose to keep him away. That’s not
fair.”
“I didn’t think about it. There was
something at the Mhlongos, dates
clashed and…”
He clicks his tongue. I didn’t have any
malicious reason, but if he thinks this
is intentional then that’s on him.
CHAPTER 29
SPHAKAMISO

It’s Phume’s wedding and I’m the

guest sitting at the back. Life is really
unpredictable. She’s grown, she’s not
the sweet, little girl I used to love. I
don’t know but I think it was destiny;
arranged or not. I don’t see Mpatho
being complete without her. He lives
for her and Manzi and Mnqobi.
And Phume, she deserves this
happiness. I don’t think I would’ve
been able to give it to her. Looking at
where I am even now, she would’ve
struggled and that’s not the life she
deserves. I’m not hurt, shockingly I’m
happy for her. At least I know she’s
happy, she’s glowing and she’s getting
everything she ever dreamed of.
I’m sad that Mkhuleko is not here, I
hope he will see the day in pictures
one day.
It’s an outdoor wedding, I don’t think
the guests are more than 50. It’s a
white wedding that is really white. I’m
disappointed they didn’t take our
village pastor, Masondo. They went
for a white pastor. There’s no chaos.
No children crying, no dogs running
around, no kitchen lady sending for
salt because it’s not enough.
Just when I feel like I’m in a white
wedding someone cries out loud.
It’s Nombuso, she’s not crying but
singing. She’s right behind me.
“There’s a band,” I try telling her.
Nobody needs her trembling vocals.
But she’s on her feet, she doesn’t care.
I don’t even think noise is allowed in
this venue, we are in a different
neighbourhood.
“Uyothi wabonani mfazi
ongazalanga!” She’s waking
something in the air.
Mpatho loves her like this, he’s
laughing at the alter.
Once she calms down the pastor
continues. He’s asking if there’s
someone who doesn’t want this
wedding to continue.
Mpatho looks at me. Like really?
Nobody stands up, he joins them in
their matrimony as husband and wife.
I’ve seen them kiss many times before.
I stand with the rest of the guest to
clap.

I don’t join them at the reception,

Nokwanda has arrived, I promised
her that we’d spend time together. It’s
been a long day, I don’t think anyone
would even feel that I’ve left.
Nokwanda is beautiful and it gets
better everyday.
“You look so handsome in a white
shirt. Black really goes well with
white,” she says.
“Who is black?” I pull her for a brief
kiss.
She laughs, “You are. How was the
wedding?”
“It was beautiful, my sister pulled
some stunts here and there but
everything went well. I think I have an
idea of how I want my wedding to
look like.”
“Wedding? You want to be a
husband? That’s a lifetime trap.”
I know we are different, we want
different things in life.
“Yes, I want to have a wife, someone
to be sisters with Miyanda,” I say.
“In the village?” She’s laughing.
“Yeah, it’s a good place to raise kids.”
“No, it’s not. There are no good
schools around, you want your kids to
grow up playing with cows and eating
guavas.”
“So you think that’s what I grew up
doing?” I ask, a bit offended.
“I don’t know, you never told me
about your childhood. Let’s get inside
the car before he gets angry.”
She opens the back door and signals
for me to get inside. Okay, there’s a
driver.
I thought she was driving herself.
She gets inside and closes the door.
“How was the wedding?” the driver
asks.
“It was good,” I say, hesitantly.
She’s just looking at me and smiling.
“Fasten your seat belts,” he instructs
like we are kids. Who fastens a seat
belts without seeing the police?
“Is that…?” I’m confused.
“Yes, it’s my father, he’s my driver for
the day,” she says.
I almost wet my pants. What the fuck?
Why would she invite her father to
our date? The man threatened to kill
me the other day, now he’s fetching
me from the wedding to spend time
with his daughter.
I text Malibongwe:
If anything happens to me please
take care of my son. I’m on a surprise
date with Nokwanda and her father.
CHAPTER 29
SPHAKAMISO

We are in a restaurant picked by him. I

don’t even know what is in front of
me. Some sea creatures that look alive.
Right now I don’t even remember how
to hold fork and knife. I still think I’m
being tricked towards my death.
“How is Salo?” I ask.
I’m just trying to remind him that we
are related, I’m sure that’s more
important than the situation I have
with his daughter.
“She’s fine,” he says.
Nokwanda being the naughty girl that
she is, she’s rubbing my leg with her
foot under the table.
“Do you like prawns?” he asks.
He’s looking at me.
“Prawns? Yes, definitely love them.”
“Let’s dig in, I will drop Nokwanda at
her friend’s place and then take you
home.”
Whooah! Nope. Never.
I’d rather walk home, it’s two towns
away but I trust my legs. I’d rather
have them swollen than un-alive.
“My brother is picking me up but
thanks for the offer,” I say.
“But they’re at the wedding,” says
Nokwanda. Is she also in this?
“He said they’re done,” I’m lying.
Only God knows how I’m going to get
home.
“And when is your own wedding?” he
asks.
I’m trying to eat this thing, I will puke
it out with water when I get home.
This question is making me sweat.
“Sphakamiso wants to wed a wife
who’s going to live in a village and
raise kids,” Nokwanda is now my
mouth-piece.
“What about her ambitions and
dreams?” he asks, glaring at me.
“Living in a village doesn’t stop
anyone from having ambitions. I don’t
like fast life. I dream to have a good
family; happy wife and healthy
children. But I’m not saying I’d force
anyone to conform to what I envision.
It’s all about communicating and
taking mutual decisions.”
He nods, “I agree.”
I almost drop my prawn. He’s
agreeing with me?
“I learned a lot in my past
relationships. The city life can break
people,” he says.
This is weird.
“Nokwanda’s mother had everything.
A good career, loving family and
everything she dreamed of growing
up.” This topic might not age well.
I know how Nokwanda gets when
talking about her mother.
“But the pressure got her to her. She
started living beyond her means and
eventually she lost her independence.
It took a toll on her mental health, she
started depending on alcohol. From
there it just went downhill.”
“That’s sad. I have had my own battles
with mental health. Three years ago I
lost my job and found out that I had a
son. I went back home, started
depending on my family for
everything.” I don’t know why I’m
opening up about this.
“Are you back on your feet now?”
“Slowly getting there. At least now I
have an income and a good
relationship with my family. But it
was tough at first, I won’t lie. That’s
why I’m not living with my son, it got
too toxic. I’m a protective father, I had
to put him first and do what was best
for him.”
“A man does what a man got to do.”
He raises his hand, the waiter comes.
This is getting less intense. I wasn’t
sure why he’s here, I get it was to
know me better because I’m around
his daughter a lot now.
“Please get him your ribs special,” he
says to the waiter.
Thank you Lord!
I look at Nokwanda, she’s smiling.
CHAPTER 30
SPHAKAMISO

Nombuso decided not to be home,

nobody knows where is. If it wasn’t
for Miyanda we would’ve eaten bread
and butter for dinner. I’m going to be
on her neck about it because she
always fusses when it’s other people.
“I think Mkhuleko is going to come
home soon now,” Malibongwe says.
“What makes you say that?” I ask.
“There have been a lot of snakes
visiting lately. Even this morning I
woke up to a green snake in the
middle of the yard,” he says.
“He’s being trained to take over
Mkhulu Vilakazi’s bags. What makes
you think he’s going to return here?”
“I don’t know, I just have a feeling
that he will,” he says.
Unfortunately I don’t have that
feeling. Mkhuleko told me so many
times that he’d return a different
person and he wouldn’t be coming
here to take on his role as a son. But I
do hope his instincts about him
coming back soon are correct.
Even if he’s no longer the Mkhuleko
that won every argument, stole our
mother’s chickens and loved Ruby
more than us, I still want to see him.

The door opens. Someone finally

remembered her way home. From
what I heard she never came home
from work. But what’s surprising me
is that she’s wearing totally different
clothes, not the blue dress she left
work wearing.
“Hold your breaths,” she says.
What a bright mood!
We just stare at her. Why would we
hold our breaths and why is she
wearing a fake crown on her head? It’s
not her birthday.
“Ta-daaaa!” She opens her hands,
showing us her fingers.
If I’m seeing correctly that’s a ring on
her left hand. When did she get
married? Why were we not there?
I don’t think she expected this silence.
Her excitement dies.
“Mapholoba proposed,” she says.
“Whaaaaat?” Miyanda runs into her
arms. They hug and giggle.
My “what” with Malibongwe is
different. What the fuck is she talking
about?
“He’s sending his uncles end of the
month. I have the letter,” she says
dropping the envelope on the table.
The question still stands.
“Who blessed that ring?” I ask.
“It’s a proposal ring. He went down
on his knees. I was so shocked, like
what?”
“Oh my word, it has diamonds!” Her
partner in celebration, Miyanda, says.
“Where’s your iPhone Malibongwe? I
need to take pictures and send it to my
haters.”
Miyanda grabs it from Malibongwe.
They make their way out, celebrating.
This must be huge.
“He has 5 kids,” I tell Malibongwe.
“5? He’s used goods,” he says.
“I know. I’m just surprised by the
ring, I thought he’d be respectful
enough to do things right.”
“Yeah,” he can’t fully agree with me
because he also did the same. He put a
ring on Miyanda’s finger before going
to her father and we were fined for it.
“So he wants to marry her? He’s
proved me wrong.” Deep down I’m
not sad about the fact that he has good
intentions with my sister.
“If she gets married that means she
will leave,” he says.
“Yeah, I know. Just like Miyanda is
going to officially leave her family
after the wedding,” I say.
“She’s our only sister.” He’s just being
childish. Miyanda is the only child.
Nombuso and Miyanda walk back in.
“His sister took a video,” she says.
She’s so happy you’d swear it’s her
first time. I’m sure she understands
why this is a bittersweet moment for
us. This Mapholoba wants to knack
legally now.
CHAPTER 31
NONDUMEZULU

I’m taking Sphakamiso to Babo today.

I asked permission from my mother
first, she agreed. I believe there’s some
closure he can get from seeing his
father’s brother.
I’ve been here a couple of times but I
never get used to it. It always feels like
a dark, cold hell. I don’t know how
Babo adjusted because he seems
happier than he was outside.
He appears, I can hear Sphakamiso’s
breaths getting heavy. He’s been in
prison also, I guess it’s a family curse.
“Is this my brother?” Babo asks with a
chuckle, looking at him.
The more I spend time with
Sphakamiso the more he looks like my
father.
“You also see him,” I say.
“Yeah, this is Mhlongo nezinqotho
zakhe. How are you son?”
“I’m okay,” Sphakamiso says.
“It’s good to finally see you. Your
mother told me you looked and found
home,” he says.
“My mother was here?” I’m shocked
because from what she says and
shows, she hates Babo’s guts.
“Yeah, she does visit, more than you
and your sister,” he says.
I don’t know what to make of this. I
wonder what is the motive behind it.
“I will give you two space to talk.” I
know Sphakamiso has a lot that he
wants to ask and know about Babo
and our father. I want him to have
space to do that.
-
-
SPHAKAMISO

He’s sitting across me, I wish I can

shake his hand. He’s my real father’s
brother, seeing him brings me some
sort of comfort.
“Do I have grandkids?” He probably
already knows because MaNkosi has
been visiting him.
“I have a son and another one on the
way.” I’m claiming Nokwanda’s baby
because I don’t want him to ask a lot
of questions.
“Ususebenzile, indoda yenza kanjalo.
That’s what a man does. Your father
would’ve been happy, he wanted
more children but couldn’t get them.”
“But I was there.” Hearing this makes
me feel rejected all over again.
“Yeah, but he couldn’t claim you. It
was complicated to follow up on that
situation because he wanted to protect
your mother’s marriage.”
“And his marriage,” I say.
He sighs and nods. “Yeah, it was quite
unfortunate. But trust me, if we knew
for sure that you were his we
would’ve made a plan.”
“But what was hard? They just had to
take responsibility for their actions.
The truth always comes out anyway. I
had to grew up with someone who
treated me like I wasn’t his. Like as an
outcast, and I didn’t understand
why.”
“When did your mother tell you?”
“My sister blurted it out.” I’m
exhausted. Maybe I should just let it
go and be happy that I’m finally here,
I know the truth.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know if I will
come out of here alive. But I’m very
happy to meet you. At least now I
know they have a big brother.”
“I’m also happy to see you. It’s
unfortunate that you are here.”
“I’m okay, don’t worry about me. I
deserve to be here,” he says.
“I hope to see you again.” He smiles at
me. Salo is a female version of him.
He doesn’t look like a murderer. I
wish I had gotten a chance to have
him in my life.
CHAPTER 32
NOKWANDA

I love my mother. I will never stop

loving and caring for her. But for my
own sanity I have to listen to Nkatha.
He is my father, he wants and knows
what’s best for me. I’m pregnant and
working on rebuilding my
relationship with Sphakamiso. I don’t
need anything that’s going to mess
with my mental health. So I have cut
her off, I hope she finds her feet again
and rebuild her life. I hope when the
baby comes she will be sober and sane
enough to meet her granddaughter.
Yes, I’m hoping for a girl.

I got home during the day and

navigated my way around the kitchen.
It’s Nkatha’s graduation anniversary. I
don’t know if anyone celebrates that
but I’m going to cook dinner, I have a
cake and a gift for him. My father, my
best friend, my confidant, my spirit-
lifter became Dr Manzini on this day.
The first doctor in her bloodline.
Cooking is harder than I thought. I’m
lucky the chef is here and doing it for
me. I’m focused on decorating the
lounge. And by decorating I mean
putting flowers in the vase and
snacking in between.

My phone rings, it’s Sphakamiso. A

flight of butterflies fill my tummy.
“Hello,” I answer.
“Did you answer on the second ring?”
“I was close to the phone, “ I say.
He laughs, “No, my traditional doctor
is working overtime.”
“Whatever. Why are you calling me?”
“I miss you,” he says.
“What do you miss exactly? You
always complain when I’m with you.”
“I only complain about you putting
your feet on my face when you’re
asleep. But at this point I even miss
that.” He’s sweet.
Okay, maybe not sweet, he has his
demons when he’s angry. But he
makes me smile.
“Do you want to see me?” I ask.
“Yes, please come over for the
weekend,” he says.
“To the village?”
“Yeah.”
His sister hates my guts. I don’t think
his brother likes me either, he just
doesn’t express it like the sister.
But I don’t give a fuck.
“I will come,” I say.
“Don’t lie to me Nokwanda, I will be
expecting you tomorrow afternoon.”
We are getting to know each other
better, I will definitely go. He’s the
father of my unborn baby, that’s his
home.

Nkatha is here!
Jeez, is everything ready?
I stayed on the call and forgot to check
if all the preparations went well. Now
I have no time, I have to get him from
the door.
He looks tired.
“Why are you blocking me?”
“Because you have to follow my
steps,” I say.
“Nokwanda, I had a long day. If this is
a TikTok prank I swear you and I will
have a problem.”
I pull his hand towards the lounge.
I’m excited, this is the first surprise
I’ve ever done for him. I don’t
remember doing anything nice for him
except father’s day gift cards that I
purchase with his money.
“It’s your graduation anniversary,
happy grade-day!”
“What?” He looks around confused.
I’m not a good event coordinator but I
tried. At least there’s food and flowers.
“It’s your grade-day,” I say.
“How do you know because I don’t
even remember.” The smile on his face
warms my heart. We’ve been at
loggerheads for too long, I’m excited
for this new chapter.
“Ma used to remind me every year
that she attended your graduation on
this day.” I’m talking about my late
grandmother, she was super proud of
him.
“Thank you so much baby.” He pulls
me and kisses my forehead.
I must take this opportunity and
apologize for everything that has
happened between us.
“I’m sorry for being a hard child. I
know you wanted me to graduate and
have a career before having a baby. I
made a mistake.”
“Oh mntanami!” He takes a heavy
sigh and holds me against his chest for
a good minute.
“I know you long for your mom.
Sometimes I ruin things while trying
to protect you. I forgive you, I just
hope you will learn from this.”
“I learned the hard way, especially
with how things happened with
Sphakamiso. I can’t believe my baby
will be going through DNA tests soon
after birth because of my behavior.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to be
ashamed. The baby won’t even
remember that ever happened.”
He’s right. I’m very certain that the
baby is Sphakamiso’s, after that is
confirmed this will never be talked
about again.
“Did you help the chef?” he asks
taking the lid off the bowl.
“He helped me, not the other way
around,” I say.
He laughs, “I know you more than
anyone. But it’s the thought that
counts, I really appreciate this. I will
take a shower and come back to eat.”
“Okay, Medicine Guru.” He will join
me on the way, I’m not wasting any
time, I’m eating.
CHAPTER 33
SPHAKAMISO

I invited Nokwanda over for the

weekend. I want her to get to know
my family better after spending time
with her father.
I have to tell the family before she
arrives. I don’t want Nombuso
fighting because she parked her car in
the yard.
“I have a guest coming,” I tell them.
They’re watching TV.
“Nokwanda?” Miyanda asks.
“Yes, she will leave on Sunday,” I say.
“Okay,” she’s very supportive and
understanding. Only if they were all
like her.
“What if the baby is not yours?”
Nombuso asks.
I have answered this question way too
many times, at this point it just annoys
me.
“I will cross that bridge when I get
there. Right now we are trying to
make things work, rebuilding trust
and our bond,” I say.
“Heeeh, ay asazi!” She gets up and
leaves. For someone who had a hard
time with her ex in-laws, she always
treats our girlfriends badly. She was
the same with Phume, then Miyanda,
now Nokwanda.

I washed the sheets, I change the bed

and clean the room. The last time she
was here she ate and she didn’t have a
problem with the outside toilet
anymore. I’m more relaxed this time
around.
She knows her way here now but I still
go and fetch her from the main road.
It’s still early, the sun is just setting
down. Obviously everyone will see
arriving. I expect my family to treat
her like my girlfriend. They have to
come and greet her. Her past is in the
past. We have all made mistakes in
life.

She’s wearing denim shorts and

oversized T-shirts. This is her style, I
can’t dictate what she wears, but I do
wish she had put on a dress.
“You look cute,” she says.
She compliments me everytime,
sometimes I feel awkward. I have
never had anyone being consistently
opinionated about my looks in such a
positive way.
“Thank you. You also look
beautiful…and half naked,” I say.
“It’s a short that covers my bum, I’m
not naked,” she argues.
“It’s just that, women have never wore
pants here at the Mcinekas.” I’m not
trying to control her, just giving her an
idea of my family.
“Well, there’s a first time for
everything.” She doesn’t care.
I don’t want to be too hard, at the end
of the day she has to be comfortable.
“But I will change because I don’t
want you to defend me from your
sister,” she says.
I was letting it go though.
“You don’t have to,” I say.
“Sphakamiso, I will make
compromises. I’m not a spoilt brat.”
She is not what???
“I didn’t say that. Thank you mama,
come here.” I pull her and kiss her
lips.
The baby bump has grown. I have
never touched it. I lift her T-shirt and
put my hands around the belly.
Things are just happening so fast. In a
few months she will be a mom and
hopefully I will be a father for the
second time.
“Nokwanda,” I take a deep breath as
she lifts her eyes to me. I’m scared, if it
happens that I’m not the father my
whole family will laugh at me.
“I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t
genuine. I’m attracted to you, I think
you saw that the first time we met.
Mistakes have happened but I promise
you, I will not let you down.”
“Please, I’m going against everyone’s
advice to trust you again. I want us to
give love a chance because I’m in love
with you.”
She closes her eyes and releases a deep
sigh. She’s beautiful, I have deep
feelings for her. I want us to do this.
“Thank you,” she says.
I raise my eyebrow. “Thank you?”
“I’m also in love with you,” she says,
smiling. I kiss her lips, this is the
beginning of something real.
CHAPTER 34
SPHAKAMISO

Nombuso is running around the yard

chasing a chicken and I don’t know
why because we have frozen chicken
in the fridge. She promised to behave
but it seems like she’s started her hate
train again.
I get inside the house, Nokwanda was
freshening up in the room. Miyanda
went to greet her, she doesn’t have a
cold heart like her man.
I sit with them, the mood is tense.
“Why is your sister chasing chickens?”
“She wants to cook,” Malibongwe
says.
“There’s frozen chicken nje. Maybe
she’s trying to lose weight, I don’t see
the need.”
“Or she’s trying to welcome your
girlfriend with a traditional meal.”
“A hard-body chicken?” If that is the
case she simply wants to torture
Nokwanda.
We watch the TV in silence. Mnqobi is
on the floor eating his toys. Babies
grow fast, it feels like he was born just
yesterday.
“Phakaaa!” Someone yells my name.
It sounds like Nokwanda.
Both Miyanda and Malibongwe stare
at me. Miyanda has never raised her
voice in the yard, this is so awkward.
I get up and make my way out. I
bump into her at the door.
“Nokwanda?”
Why is she here? She could’ve texted
me.
“I want to watch TV,” she says.
Phewww, I thought this would be
easy.
“With my family?” I ask.
“You don’t have TV in your room.”
“We can go and watch YouTube
together,” I say.
She frowns, “It’s just TV. How is that
untraditional?”
“I just think you will be
uncomfortable,” I say.
“No, I won’t.” She walks past me.
It’s going to be a long weekend.
Nombuso appears with a dead
chicken. She’s killed it, there’s blood
dropping from its neck. Why a black
chicken out of all chickens we have in
the yard?
“Ewwww!” Nokwanda screams.
“Hello Nokwanda, I’m happy to see
you again,” Nombuso with the act.
“Likewise. Are you having a
ceremony?” Nokwanda asks.
“No, we slaughter chickens to eat
them,” she says.
“Oh wow!” She looks really surprised.
I better get her inside, Malibongwe’s
coldness is better than Nombuso. I
think they’re likely to clash, their
personalities cannot blend together.
-
-
-

Miyanda has been chatting with

Nokwanda. It’s not awkward as I
thought. Nokwanda even has Mnqobi
on her lap.
“You’re getting her used to the village,
huh?” Malibongwe asks.
“Yes, she has to know the life that I
live,” I say.
“So you really have feelings for her?”
“Yeah, I do,” I admit.
“For your sake I really hope things
turn out positively in the next 4
months. She seems comfortable, I
didn’t expect it from her.”
Only if he knows how she was the first
day she came here. She wanted to
drive to the toilet.
“Dinner is ready!” Nombuso is
screaming for the whole village to
hear.
“Your sister is dramatic!” I say as we
return back to inside the house.
She’s cooked pap and her hard-body
chicken. The portions are huge.
I’m not sure if she made a mistake,
one plate has the chicken head and
one foot. I quickly swap it with mine
because I can tell what her intentions
are. She wanted Nokwanda to get the
chicken head. Nombuso can be really
evil.
We start eating, I’m worried about
Nokwanda.
“Can I have a fork?” she asks.
Nombuso raises her head with a
frown, “Fork for what?”
“To eat the chicken, it’s hard.”
“Don’t you have 32 teeth?”
I get up and go to the kitchen to fetch
the knife and a fork.
“Are you enjoying the food?”
Malibongwe asks her.
Is it not clear that she’s not?
“The pap is okay, it just lacks
seasoning. But the chicken is breaking
my jaws.” She doesn’t hold back.
“Uthi ipapa injani?” Nombuso.
“Hey!” Malibongwe turns to her.
“Don’t start. Let’s have a peaceful
dinner, if she’s not happy Sphakamiso
will go and make her something else.
She’s a guest here and MaVilakazi
taught all of us good hospitality.”
Thank you for finally standing up for
me.
“Do you want me to make you
something else?” I ask her. I have a
permission to do so, no evil eye is
going to stop me.
“Maybe a sausage and ketchup. I can’t
eat this chicken,” she says.
I look at Nombuso and smile. The
devil never wins, I’m surprised she
hasn’t learnt that. You see when
people pray that even when they walk
through the valley of death they shall
fear no devil? The devil they’re talking
about there is Nombuso.
***4 MONTHS LATER***

CHAPTER 35
NONDUMEZULU

My mother called and asked that I

come home after work. Something
must be up, I was home during the
weekend and she never said anything.
I’m worried but not much because if
something bad has happened she
would’ve told me on the phone.
I buy a few things at the mall and
head home. There’s an X5 parked
outside our gate. And that means
Solwazi Dlomo is here.
Trust my mother to want my world to
stop because of this. I gave him time
after Nkalipho asked me to, and guess
what it’s been over a year now since
he saw his child.
But a year is probably nothing, he did
miss the first 8 years.
I walk in, put shopping bags on the
kitchen counter and take a few deep
breaths.
Nzuzo is sitting on his lap. With all
the stress he’s been under I thought
he’d lose some weight. I walk in, my
mother has served him tea and
biscuits already.
Nzuzo is such a traitor, he doesn’t
even jump up when he sees me.
“Sanibona,” I greet.
“Yebo ntombi, did you drive safely?”
Yes, I drive now. I don’t have a car of
my own yet but you can no longer
find me at the taxi rank.
“Yes,” I say and look at the man I
made a child with.
I will choose peace for once.
“How are you?” I ask.
“I don’t even know,” he says.
“Your son missed you,” I tell him. A
part of me is bitter about it.
“I know but I had to do this first.” He
shows me his hand, there’s no ring
anymore. I laugh in Afrikaans.
“Where is she now?” I ask.
“I don’t know, I don’t care. I have a
protection order against her.”
“What really happened?” I’ve been
curious. How did she cheat on this
baqwe?
“It’s a long story. What is important
for me right now is building my
relationship with my son and making
things right with my father’s family.”
“So you’re done running away?” I ask.
“I didn’t run away. But to answer
your question, I’m committed to being
the best father that I have failed to be
to him.”
“It’s not like you have many options.”
My mom gives me a cold look. Am I
lying? He doesn’t have anyone else to
father now except Nzuzo.
“We have to go and re-register his
birth certificate so that it can have
your details on it.” I’m not going to be
a stupid mother. My son stands to
inherit millions, they’re all his alone
now.
“For real? He’s going to have my
surname?” he asks.
“Yeah, why not? You paid for the
damages and now you’re committing
to playing your role.”
“I’d really appreciate that.”
Surely not more than me.
“I will talk to Nkalipho and then we
can set a date to go to Home Affairs.”
“Thank you,” he says blowing out a
sigh of relief.
He can’t be grateful more than me.
-
-
-

I’m busy breaking the good news to

Nkalipho, Salo is blowing my phone
up.
“Jeez Salo, I’m planning my multi-
millionare baby’s future here. What do
you want?”
“I’m working overtime, Nkatha is in
Pietermaritzburg, Nokwanda just
went to the hospital, she’s in labor.”
“What? Is she due already?” I’m
surprised. Wasn’t she whoring just
last week?
“Yes, it’s her month,” she’s panicking.
“Okay, we will take Enhle to his
grandfather and go to her. Don’t
worry,” I say.
“Thank you so much.” She drops the
call.
I know Nkalipho is tired and all.
“Salo’s stepdaughter-slash-sister in
law is in labor. Her parents are not
around,” I say.
“And you just agreed that we are
going all the way to the hospital just
like that?”
I kiss his lips. “I could be that baby’s
aunt.”
“Okay.”
I wonder if Sphakamiso is aware of
this. Let me get Enhle ready to go to
his grandparents’ house.
CHAPTER 36
SPHAKAMISO

We received a call from our uncle

saying we need to rush to the
Vilakazis. Miyanda stayed behind, it
was too short notice for her to just up
and leave with the baby.
A lot is playing in my head. I’m
thinking maybe Mkhuleko is there. Or
they simply have bad news?
It feels like I’ve been holding my
breath since we drove off. The yard is
quiet as we arrive. My chest is
pounding.
MaNhleko steps out of the main
house, she’s dressed in a seshoeshoe
dress, her head is wrapped nicely.
Obviously there’s a guest. I’m not
saying she doesn’t look beautiful on
daily basis, but normally she’s in her
dirty aprons and leopard doek.
We exchange greetings, she leads us
inside the house. There’s a snow white
girl who almost look like an angel in
her white dress and hair-ribbon of the
same color.
She’s blinking, that’s how I know she’s
human. But I’m getting a little bit
confused as to why are we here on
emergency if there’s just this girl, no
Mkhuleko on sight. Who is she?
“This is Nosipho Dlamini,” MaNhleko
puts us out of our misery.
I’m sitting next to malume,
Malibongwe is on the other side.
“Hi Nosipho,” Malibongwe says.
“Yebo sanibona.” She speaks Zulu,
she’s one of us. I’m slow, she’s an
albino, just too beautiful for this
world.
“This is Mkhuleko’s family, the
Mcinekas, his old brothers. They have
been in dark since he left,” MaNhleko
says.
“Does she know anything about his
whereabouts?” I ask.
“She saw him, a few months ago, but
she will tell you the story.”
I have a bad feeling about this.
“I’m a journalist, I work for the
Citizen24 newspaper. Last year I got
an offer to work with a private
investigators company that I can’t
mention for confidentiality reasons. I
worked on a case of Mkhulu Magedla
who faced a lot of accusations of
murder, kidnapping and human
sacrificing. It’s at that place that I got
to know Mkhuleko, he was an
apprentice there with three other
men.”
I’m not patient enough to hear how
the undercover thing went. I just want
to know if my brother is still alive.
“Where is Mkhuleko?” I ask.
“I’m getting there. Mkhuleko knew
what was happening in the dark, what
his mentor was capable of. When I got
there he warned me and told me it
wasn’t safe for me, as a woman and
someone living with albinism. He
thought I had been tricked, soon I was
going to be killed like many others.
They also knew that he cared about
me more than he should have. One
day they sent him to
Kwamhlabuyalingana for impande.”,
She takes a deep breath and pats the
corners of her very tiny eyes with a
piece of tissue.
“He thought they wanted to kill me
while he was gone. On the other hand
I was acting oblivious to reality
because I had a mission that he didn’t
know about. He left with me that
night, unfortunately by force. He
dragged me through valleys and
forests, it was dark, we both didn’t
know where we were going. I was
crying, I couldn’t tell him who I was,
he was no longer in his senses. I think
it happens when one is sent for
something like that, they have to be in
a certain zone, they can’t be
themselves.”
Can she gets to the point already?
“I don’t remember much after that, all
I know is that I woke up at the
hospital with bruises all over my
body. My team was there with the
police and Magedla, his mentor.”
“And where was Mkhuleko?” She
mustn’t fuck with us. I know some
bullshit is coming.
“He was arrested for attempted
kidnap,” she says.
“Didn’t you say he was trying to help
you?” Malibongwe asks.
“He was, but that was just my word
and his against Magedla’s and the
proof that was presented to the
police,” she says.
This girl is crazy. She’s out of her
mind. Mkhuleko can’t be arrested
while she’s here.
“So you set my brother up?”
Malibongwe gets up. I have to sit him
down because we still haven’t heard
the rest of the story.
“He was arrested but as soon as I got
out of the hospital I told my team the
real truth and we worked on getting
him released. He’s not in jail.”
Phewwwww! I almost lost my mind.
“Now, the real reason why I’m here is
because Mkhuleko has left the safe
place we kept him in while trying to
get Magedla to make a mistake. As I’m
speaking to you he’s on his way there
to get revenge.”
That is what a Mcineka does. We get
the motherfuckers!
“Where is that place?” I ask.
“It’s called Esphekephekeni. But we
failed to track him down, we don’t
know which route his used on his way
there. It’s 5 hours away. My request is
that you connect to him, he told me
about a baby that is spiritually
connected to him. Maybe we can use
that to get him back on his senses.”
“We broke the connection, it was
making the baby sick,” Malibongwe.
She shuts her eyes and releases a deep
breath. She’s stressed.
“Can you take us to that man?” I just
want to go and see the man that lied
and got my brother arrested.
“I will call Mpatho, we can’t go
without him,” Malibongwe walks out.
This time around, we might all end up
in jail, for a valid reason this time.
CHAPTER 37
NONDUMEZULU

We found Nokwanda already a

mother. She’s given birth to a little
boy. I don’t know, I kinda expected it
to be a boy. But I thought she’d be
crying and putting the whole hospital
on a standstill.
I’m quite surprised to see her
peacefully bonding with the baby and
complying the nurse’s instructions.
Moghel is even learning how to
breastfeed.
“How are you feeling?” I ask.
“I’m tired,” she says with a low sigh.
“How did you handle the pain?”
She shrugs, “It wasn’t that bad, I had a
team of nurses and my doctor was
here.”
I look at Nkalipho. If he can pull this
much weight in making sure that I
have a smooth delivery, I’d give him
another baby.
“Your father is on his way. Have you
spoken to Sphakamiso?” I ask.
“I can’t get hold of him,” she says.
“When did you last spoke to him?”
“In the morning, I wasn’t feeling
anything then,” she says.
“Okay, must I try to get hold of him?”
“Yeah,” she nods.
I leave her with Nkalipho and step out
to call Aunt Teekay, she’s one person
who can connect me to the Mcinekas.

I got the big sister’s number, I have

tried calling her twice and she didn’t
pick up. Just as I return back inside a
Please Call Uwubani comes through. I
don’t remember the last time I
personalized a please-call-me.
I call her back.
“Hey this is Sphakamiso’s sister,” I
say.
“I am Sphakamiso’s sister,” she says.
Oh God!
“The Mhlongo one,” I explain.
“Oh, I’m the real one. How are you?”
Yooh, hhayi-ke.
“Nokwanda has given birth, I don’t
know if Sphakamiso is next to you, we
can’t get hold of him.”
“Sphakamiso is not around. Does the
baby look like him?”
“He’s just one hour old,” I say.
“Okay. I will tell him when they come
back, they went to fight some
nyanga.”
“To fight?” I’m shocked.
How can she be so calm?
“Yes, our little brother went to train to
become a healer, he fell in love with an
undercover journalist, they set him up
and he got arrested. Now they have to
get revenge and bring him home.”
“But Sphakamiso is expecting a baby,
he has Aphelele to live for. How can
he gamble with his life like that? There
are police officers for a reason.”
“We are not rich sisi, we can’t afford
lawyers and courts, so we take law in
our own hands.” She sounds like a
pyscho.
I have to tell my mother and Aunt
Teekay. They must expect anything,
Sphakamiso is busy fighting witches
instead of being a here to welcome his
possible second baby.
I walk back to Nokwanda,
unfortunately I don’t have good news.
“He’s not home,” I say.
“Where is he?” she’s confused.
I can imagine what she’s going
through. It’s only Nkalipho and I here,
all the people that matter to her are
not here.
“They went to fetch the brother who
went to spiritual training. I got hold of
Nombuso. Do you know her?”
“Yes, she’s a pyscho,” she says.
Nokwanda is a pyscho too. I wonder
how they co-exist.
CHAPTER 38
NOKWANDA

Sphakamiso not being here hurts more

than Salo and Nkatha not being here.
He missed this important moment and
I know how badly he wanted to be
involved. I thought they’d take DNA
samples today so that my son can be
free in the next three weeks. But
nothing is going my way.
Nondu and Nkalipho just left. I’m
happy they came, saw the baby and
spent a few hours with us.
I open my eyes to a man walking in
with a bouquet of flowers. I feel relief
all over me, that’s my dad.
“Hey grandpa,” I say.
“Don’t you dare!” He puts flowers
next to me and looks at the baby.
“I’m sorry I’m late. What’s his name?”
“I don’t know,” I say.
He laughs, “All this time you still
haven’t thought of his name? Don’t
you want to honor your uncle and
give his name to him?”
“Zothani? Yeah, that’s a good name.”
Why didn’t I think of this? My son is
Zothani, the surname is between
Mcineka, Mhlongo and Zungu.
“Thank you for putting together a
team, I had a smooth delivery. I can’t
wait to do it again.”
“Do it again, you will be crying in a
public hospital waiting in a queue of
20 people,” he say.
I laugh. Of course I’m just kidding, I’m
not getting pregnant ever again.
When I turn my face I see Thule. I
don’t know how long she’s been
staring at us. She doesn’t look sober.
I look at Nkatha. “Did you bring her
here?”
“I thought you’d want her to be here.”
Since when I need him to think for
me? If I wanted Thule here I would’ve
looked for her the same way I always
do.
“Nhloboni?” she asks.
She’s actually sober, it’s just that
nowadays you can’t tell the difference.
“It’s a boy,” Nkatha says.
“Where is the father? Oh, I remember
you said you don’t know him.”
“No, I never said that.” She mustn’t
piss me off.
“Don’t be ashamed. Can I see him?”
Nkatha gives her the baby. She looks
at him and starts laughing.
“Hhayi Nokwanda yini kwafana
negundane nje?” Why is the baby
looking like a rat?
First of all, Zothani doesn’t look like a
rat. All small babies look like this.
“He will grow, he’s actually cute than
most babies,” Nkatha says.
I know he’s just trying to make me feel
better.
“You all have to go, I want to sleep,” I
say.
“Okay, I will fetch you in the morning.
Take care.” He kisses my forehead.
Thule is leaving with him.
“Wait, where is Salo?” I ask.
“She’s in her house, she said she will
be here to fetch you with me.”
“Does she know about your new
friend?” I ask.
“Yes, please get some rest.”
For the first time I feel like I don’t
need to have Thule in my life. I don’t
want her here, laughing and not
caring about reality.
-
-
-
SPHAKAMISO

We don’t know what the future holds.

We don’t know what this means for
Mkhuleko’s gift. When we got there
he had brought the hut with Magedla
down on fire. Is he going to get
arrested again? Nobody knows.
But we made it home without the
police behind us. It’s been over a year
since we last saw Mkhuleko.
He’s darker than Mpatho, he has
multiple scars on his face. His hair is
hard like steelwool. It’s like he’s been
living like an animal.
He’s not saying anything much. I
know some shit went down, he will
never be that carefree, outspoken
Mkhuleko that we all loved to hate.

As soon as we get out of the car Ruby

runs to us. She can still see her father.
She’s happy, dancing around his feet
and barking. By the way, all her
puppies died, she didn’t have time to
breastfeed and be a mother.
Mkhuleko kicks his leg, Ruby flies and
falls on her back. I don’t know if he no
longer remembers Ruby, my heart
breaks into a million pieces. Yes, she’s
just a dog, but we take her as a family
member now.
Nobody says anything, we get inside
the house. Nombuso screams and
starts crying when she sees him.
Miyanda seems shocked to see him in
this state.
“Are you hungry?” she asks.
“No,” he shakes his head.
“I will prepare water for you to bath.”
She looks at me, “Please get me his
clothes, I will iron them.”
This is not how we imagined him
coming home. Everyone is scared. Can
he revive his gift after this? If not, can
he live a normal life?

Miyanda prepares his bath and irons

his clothes. Malibongwe is getting
ready to shave his head.
I’m just sitting down with Nombuso,
confused and scared.
“I have to go and see what I can do to
make this go away,” Mpatho says after
staying on a phone call for five
minutes.
If there’s something he can, it is
pulling strings and getting the law
officials on his side. If he wants this to
go away he will pay for it to
disappear. Or the wrong people will
go down. Either way I’m good, I just
want us to figure out Mkhuleko’s
future without worrying about the
law.
“Did I tell you that your Mhlongo
sister called?” Nombuso asks.
“No, what did she say?” I ask.
“Nokwanda gave birth yesterday, it’s
a boy,” she says.
“Nombuso! Why are you only telling
me now?” Jesus, I don’t even know
where my phone is.
CHAPTER 39
NOKWANDA

I finally receive a call from

Sphakamiso. I don’t know what’s been
happening, I was just told to wait for
him to call.
“Nokwanda,” he says.
“Hey,” I answer.
“I’m so sorry, I just got home and
heard the news. I don’t know how
soon I can get there because…” He’s
just rambling nonstop.
“I’m home already, how are you?”
“I’m not okay, but that has nothing to
do with you. I’m going to see you
soon, okay?”
“Okay, be alright.”

Nkatha walks in, he’s been really

supportive throughout the pregnancy
and even now. And honestly, I don’t
know what I would be without this
man.
“Sphakamiso just called, he’s coming
to see me soon. How long do you
think you can make the DNA results
come back?”
“Two weeks,” he says.
“Baba! Can’t you pull some strings,
you know lab people nje.” I just don’t
want this to keep lingering over my
son.
“It’s not possible, I’m sorry. But we
have to discuss how are you going to
write your exams?”
What does he mean?
“I will go back to campus,” I say.
“And who’s going to look after the
baby?” he asks.
“The nanny,” I say.
“You don’t have a nanny.”
“Salo’s nanny,” I mean, she can look
after Zothani too, Khaya is an old man
now.
“And who’s going to pay for it? I can’t
pay your medical bills, your son’s,
feed both of you and clothe you. And
then pay for your nanny on top of
that? I’m also responsible for your
tuition fees.”
“What are you trying to say?” I’m
confused.
“As soon as the results come back,
Sphakamiso will play his part. He has
to find you a nanny, if he can’t then he
needs to make a plan for his son
because you’re going to finish your
studies on record time.”
I didn’t expect this. Yes, Sphakamiso
has a job, but he also has another kid. I
don’t think managing the car repair
shop gives him enough to afford a
nanny. Now I’m fuckin’ stressed.
-
-
-
I decided it’s better for us to meet at
the lab clinic. He’s seeing Zothani for
the first time, Zothani is 5 days old
and we are here to take his DNA
sample. I’m glad he won’t remember
this ever happening.
“He’s so tiny,” he says holding him in
his arms.
“Thule called him a rat,” I’m still bitter
about it. I guess it’s just the mother
protective thing, I don’t want anyone
saying bad comments about my son.
“I’m sorry,” he says.
I look at him, “For what?”
“I’m sorry that we are here, I hope you
understand my reasons and don’t hold
anything against me.”
“No, I understand.” At this point I
know he wants the results to come
back positive too. We have come too
far, I love him, he loves me. Zothani
just has to be his, our relationship will
grow stronger.
“I love you,” he says.
“I love you too.” I kiss his cheek.
My chocolate boy has been stressed, I
can see it in his eyes.
“How is your brother?” I ask.
“He’s just there physically, I don’t
know, it feels like we’ve lost the old
Mkhuleko that we knew.”
“Can’t you get him to therapy?” I ask.
He chuckles, “You’re so cute. No, we
can’t. It’s deeper than therapy.”
“But just try, in order to get him to
open up about his traumatic
experiences.”
“I will talk to Miyanda about it, she
knows those things better.”
I know how much he loves his
brother, I hope they figure out how to
help him. Therapy will be their first
step, it helped me, I know he will also
shed some burdens off there.
They collect their DNA samples, I’m
certain they will come back positive.
But I don’t know how I’m going to tell
him about the nanny issue.
CHAPTER 40
SPHAKAMISO

Mkhuleko agreed to therapy, Mpatho

came to fetch him this morning. I’m at
work trying to make it work but
honestly, this is the most difficult
week of my life. DNA results will be
ready on Friday, the fate of my
relationship with Nokwanda lies on
them.
It’s going to hurt if Zothani is not
mine. Which is why I’m starting to
regret not listening to Malibongwe. If I
didn’t invest my emotions I would be
okay with whatever results that come.
Nombuso comes to me sitting outside
and tosses a box of KFC to me.
“Where did you get this?” I ask.
“From your brother-in-law,” she says.
“Sengidla inyama yomjolo manje?” As
far as I’m concerned their thing is still
just dating. Mapholoba sent his uncles,
they came to propose, no cows have
been sent yet and I plan to throw that
on her face every chance I get.
Nombuso gives our partners a difficult
time, why should we open arms for
hers?
“You’ve eaten it before, he’s bought
me groceries and I cooked them at
home,” she says.
“I didn’t know.” I give her the box
back. I’m not even hungry.
She sighs and sits next to me. “How
long before we know if the baby is
yours?”
“The results are coming back Friday.”
“That’s better, hopefully it’s yours.
You don’t need more stress. So if you
look at the baby, does he look like us?”
“He looks more like his mother, so I
don’t know,” I say.
“Who paid for the tests to be
conducted?” She wants to know
everything.
“Manzini. I’m scared I will have to
pay him back if Zothani is my baby. I
don’t even know how I will manage
going forward because they’ve
already made him an expensive baby.”
“You will bring him to me, I will
introduce him to real life,” she says.
I laugh, “No, thanks.”
“What are you going to do if she
wants to go back to school? Pay for the
nanny?”
“The basic salary in South Africa is
R3500, do you think I can afford that?
Hhayi-bo Nombuso!”
“Then obviously you will bring him
home. I know you’re still hurt from
everything that happened with
Aphelele. We can start over, I can
make up for the lost time and help you
two.”
“If you say so.”
I don’t think this is about how she
treated Aphelele, it’s coming from a
void Yoli left in her.

For the first time she waits to ride with

me home after work. Mpatho is here.
Whenever he’s needed, he shows up. I
respect him for that, from time to time
I count on him.
Mkhuleko is in the kitchen drinking
something from a hug.
“Sho!” I greet.
“Wola!” he responds.
This is the first time he’s acted like a
Mkhuleko that I know.
“Zithini?” I ask.
“Nix! What job does Nombuso do?”
Nombuso is walking right through the
door.
“She’s a cleaner,” I say.
“She scrubs floors?” Ok, the old
Mkhuleko would say something like
this.
“I’m in charge of the shop image
maintenance,” Nombuso says.
“No, you clean,” I say.
“Same difference. I don’t make kids
that I can’t afford.” She’s always read
to hit below the belt.
“That was unnecessary.” I walk away,
annoyed. I was confiding in her, why
is she using that to fight.
-
-
-
Mpatho stayed for dinner,
unfortunately for me I’m headlining
the news today.
Malibongwe starts talking about
Zothani. I’m uncomfortable listening
to them talking about the DNA test.
“If he’s not Sphakamiso’s Nokwanda
better not set her foot here ever
again.” Nombuso is the alpha and
omega here, that’s what she thinks.
“Doesn’t Mapholoba have 5 kids that
are not yours?” Malibongwe asks her.
“He didn’t get them while he’s with
me, I’m not stupid,” she says.
“Okay, can we talk about something
else?” I’m tired of hearing my name
and Nokwanda’s on everyone’s lip.
“Maybe talk about Nosipho Dlamini,
the journalist,” I say looking at
Mkhuleko.
He hasn’t opened up about that part of
his life to us. We already know
Nosipho, so what is the deal?
“You want her to write an article
about the DNA tests?” he asks.
I don’t know if he’s being sarcastic or
stupid.
“No. Are you dating?” I ask.
“No, we are not,” he says.
Someone he risked everything for?
“But you love her?” Mpatho asks.
“I care for her. Love is a big word. My
life doesn’t revolve around
relationships, I’m not like any of you.”
I can’t say he’s lying. He had
relationships in the past but they were
never the main focus.
“What do you think is going to
happen now?” Mpatho.
“I will wait and hear what my guides
say. I can interpret my own dreams
and heal. I just didn’t complete all the
steps.”
“Can you get a new mentor or it’s
done like this?” Mpatho.
“I can’t start afresh with a new person.
As soon as I know something, I will let
you know,” he says.
“So you will be home now until
further notice?” Nombuso asks.
“No, I will stay with Mpatho and
Phume for security reasons. But yes,
I’m back until I’m clear what the next
step is,” he says.
It’s a relief to hear this. If he’s at
Mpatho’s house he’s safe and close to
us.
He looks at Miyanda, “I’m sorry.”
She nods.
I’m not sure what is the deal between
them. I’m just happy to have my
brother back.
CHAPTER 41
NOKWANDA

I woke up to a text from Wise asking

for Zothani’s pictures. I sent them
because, why not?
But the text that followed after he saw
the pictures left me cold in my
stomach.
Noks, I think you should sample my
DNA too. That night, before going to
a club, remember we did something
on the couch in your flat. I don’t
remember us using a condom.
First of all, I was drunk. How can my
best friend take advantage of me and
be quiet about it for 9 months?
What am I going to say to Sphakamiso
if the results come back negative?
Nkatha is coming back with the
results in the afternoon. Sphakamiso is
probably on his way as we speak. I
convinced everyone that I knew who
the father of my baby is. How am I
going to look at my father in the eyes
after disappointing him yet again?
I don’t think I can do this. I can’t. I
have done fucked up shit but this one
is too heavy even for me.
Zothani is safe here. He’s sleeping
peacefully, his grandfather has been
providing everything that he needs.
I don’t want to drag him down with
me. If it’s hell I’m going to, I have to
go alone.
Salo is in the kitchen, she’s been living
with us since Zothani arrived. She’s
been helpful. I owed her so much
respect.
“Where are you going?” she asks.
“I’m going to buy pads,” I say.
“You’re still bleeding? Have you told
your father?” she asks.
“Yes, he said it’s still normal.”
She nods, but she’s still looking at me
some kind of way.
“Okay, see you now, I left Zothani
sleeping,” I say.
“Okay, don’t worry.”
I walk out, get in the car and drive out.
Oh my god, what am I doing?
Nokwanda what are you doing? I’m
leaving my son, running away from
my mess.
-
-
-
SPHAKAMISO

It’s been over two hours since I

arrived. Nokwanda is still buying
pads, I don’t know which shop she
went to.
Zothani woke up, Salo fed him and
gave him back to me. He’s slept for the
second time, his mother is still not
here.
Manzini is in the balcony, pacing
around. The envelope is on the coffee-
table, we are waiting for Nokwanda to
come back and open it.
Salo comes with a glass of juice and
gives it to me.
“I don’t think she’s coming back,” she
says.
“Huh?” I’m confused.
“Nkatha has been trying to call her, it
goes straight to voicemail. I should’ve
suspected something when she left
yazi.”
Here we go, I’m the biggest fool yet
again. Her running away means only
one thing, she’s been lying to me. I
might not be Zothani’s father.
Salo goes out to talk to her fiancee.
Then they come back inside. I deserve
to know the truth and go home.
“Let’s open the results,” he says
without explaining anything.
He picks the envelope and tears it
open. I’m already expecting the bad
news.
Manzini reads them, his facial
expression doesn’t change. I’m not
sure what he’s seeing. Then he passed
them to me.
My hands are shaking. Salo quickly
takes Zothani. My eyes run to the
bottom but words just seem blurry.
“Take a deep breath,” Salo says.
Phewwww!
I look again, this time the words are
clear. Probability of paternity: 99.9%.
I have never felt this much relief in my
life. My world would’ve crashed.
“Are you the father?” Salo asks.
I throw the paper away and take my
son, Aphelele’s little brother. I kiss his
forehead. God you have loved me, I
feel so blessed.
I don’t know why his mother ran
away but it’s something I will never
do. Nobody knows where she is and if
she plans to come back and face the
truth. Once again, I have to go home
with a breathing parcel.
-
-
-

Everyone is in the lounge. They were

waiting for me because usually at this
time Malibongwe and Miyanda are in
their rondavel.
“Not this again!” Nombuso stands up.
I drop Zothani’s bags on the table and
release a deep sigh.
“Another one?” Mkhuleko asks.
“Yes, I brought him here with me
because his mother ran away before
the results came,” I say.
Nombuso laughs, “I would’ve ran
away too.”
“I hope you’ve both learnt your
lesson. Can I see him?” Malibongwe
takes him. “Aphelele will be thrilled.”
“I hope so.” I sit down and pick a half
glass of Coke on the table.
It’s been a long day, but for once
tonight I will sleep peacefully.
My phone beeps; a text message from
Nokwanda. This girl is full of jokes.
I’m really sorry Sphakamiso.
I’m not going to entertain her
childishness anymore. The day she
grows up she will come and own up
to her shit. And we will sit down and
plan our son’s future, like two grown-
ups who fucked irresponsibly and
created this cute human being. I
cannot fix her, no matter how much I
try. I have to love myself enough to
step back. Until she starts acting like a
loyal girlfriend and a good mother,
my focus will be on my sons only.
“Why are you drinking my Coke?”
Nombuso is going to get married, I
cannot wait. If I had a time machine, I
would’ve fast-forwarded time to when
we finally send her off to become a
Ngcobo problem.