BCS1U2L2 (Listening)

BCS1U2L2 ( Conversation Control :Reflection & Empathy, Listening )
Reflection & Empathy
Reflection is a way of repeating back to the person you are talking to what they have said, both their
words and their feelings. It is a good way to show that you are listening and that you understand. It
can also help to build trust and rapport, and to avoid misunderstandings.
Factors for Effective Reflection:

 Accuracy: Reflect exactly what the other person has said .
 Objectivity: Personal opinions (Of reflector)to be avoided while reflecting a message.
 Empathy: Reflect opinions and feelings of Communicator
 Time your reflections carefully. Don't interrupt the person while they are talking, but wait
for a natural pause in the conversation to reflect back what they have said.
Example:
 Interviewer: "So, you are saying that you have five years of experience in customer service?"
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. In conversation
control, empathy is the ability to use that understanding to guide the conversation in a way that is
beneficial for both parties. Empathy can help build trust, avoid conflict, persuade & Influence, and
make better decisions.
The three elements of empathy are:
 Cognitive empathy: This is the ability to understand and share the thoughts and
perspectives of another person. It involves being able to "put yourself in their shoes" and
see the world from their point of view.
 Emotional empathy: This is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another
person. It involves being able to resonate with their emotions and feel what they are feeling.
 Compassionate empathy: This is the ability to understand and share the suffering of another
person. It involves feeling concern for their well-being and wanting to help them.
Listening
1. The ability to hear and understand spoken language.
2. The process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to
spoken and/or non-verbal messages.
Objectives /Purpose of Listening
 To understand: The primary objective of listening is to understand the message that
the speaker is trying to communicate. This includes understanding the speaker's
words, their intent, and the context of the conversation.
 To learn: We listen to learn new information, to gain new perspectives, and to
develop our understanding of the world around us.
 To build rapport: Listening shows that we are interested in the other person and
that we value their input. This can help to build trust and rapport, which are
essential for effective communication and relationships.
 To respond: Listening is not a passive activity. We listen in order to
respond, whether it is to ask a question, offer support, or share our own thoughts
and feelings.

The PROCESS of listening involves five stages:
1. Receiving: This is the physical act of hearing the speaker's words. It involves
picking up the sound waves and transmitting them to the brain.
2. Understanding: This is the process of decoding the speaker's words and
interpreting their meaning. It involves using our knowledge of
language, culture, and context to understand what the speaker is trying to
communicate.
3. Remembering: This is the process of storing the speaker's message in our
memory. It allows us to recall the information at a later time.
4. Evaluating: This is the process of judging the speaker's message. We may
evaluate the message for accuracy, relevance, and importance.
5. Responding: This is the process of reacting to the speaker's message. We
may respond verbally, nonverbally, or both.
Essentials of Listening:
 Patience: Allow the speaker to finish their thought before responding.

 Listen to emotions: Try to understand the speaker's feelings, not just their
words.
 Restatement and summary: Repeat back what you have heard to ensure
understanding.
 Time of questions and decisions: Ask clarifying questions and make
decisions after listening carefully.
 No interruption: Avoid interrupting the speaker.
 Talk less, listen more: Let the speaker do most of the talking.
 Relationship with speaker: Build rapport and trust with the speaker
Types of listening :
 Discriminating Listening: This type of listening involves paying attention to specific
details in what the speaker is saying. It is often used in academic or professional
settings, where it is important to understand and remember complex
information. For example, a student might use discriminating listening to take notes
in a lecture.
 Comprehensive Listening: This type of listening involves understanding the overall
meaning of what the speaker is saying, For example, two friends might use
comprehensive listening to have a conversation about their day or to discuss a
current event.
 Active Listening: This type of listening involves paying close attention to the speaker
and responding in a way that shows you are engaged and interested in what they
have to say. For example, a therapist might use active listening to help a client feel
heard and understood.
 Passive Listening: This type of listening involves hearing what the speaker is saying
but not actively engaging with the information. This can be due to a lack of
interest, distraction, or fatigue.
 Biases Listening: This type of listening involves filtering the speaker's message
through your own personal biases. This can lead to misunderstandings and
conflict. For example, you might bias listen to a politician if you disagree with their
political views.
 Evaluative Listening: This type of listening involves judging the speaker's
message. This can be done in a positive or negative way.
 Appreciative Listening: This type of listening involves enjoying the speaker's
message for its own sake.
 Sympathetic Listening: This type of listening involves understanding and
empathizing with the speaker's feelings , for example listening to a friend who is
going through a difficult time.
 Therapeutic Listening: This type of listening is used by therapists to help their clients
feel heard and understood. Used by Psychiatrists.
Faults in Listening/ Causes of Poor Listening
1. Filtering: You only listen to the information that is relevant to you or that you agree
with.
2. Guessing: You assume that you know what the other person is going to say before
they actually say it.
3. Discounting: You minimize the importance of the other person's message.
4. Relating: You compare the other person's message to your own experiences.
5. Forecasting: You try to predict what the other person is going to say next.
6. Placating: You agree with the other person just to keep them quiet.
7. Advising: You offer advice to the other person, even if they didn't ask for it.
8. Rehearsing: You think about what you are going to say next while the other person is
talking.
9. Thinking Speed: You have a tendency to think faster than the other person is
talking, which can lead to boredom and distraction.
10. Premature Evaluation: You start to form an opinion about the other person's
message before they have finished talking.
11. Distractions: You are distracted by your own thoughts, the environment, or other
people.
12. Egocentric listening: This is when you only listen to the speaker in relation
to yourself and your own experiences.
13. Emotional listening: This is when you let your emotions get in the way of
listening effectively.
14. Physical barriers: This can include things like noise, distance, or poor
lighting.
15. Physiological factors: This can include things like fatigue, hunger, or illness.

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BCS1U2L2 ( Conversation Control :Reflection & Empathy, Listening )

Reflection & Empathy

Factors for Effective Reflection:

The three elements of empathy are:

 Patience: Allow the speaker to finish their thought before responding.

Faults in Listening/ Causes of Poor Listening

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