Little Shop Of Horrors

VOICE: On the 30th day of the month of March , the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to it’s very
existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.

“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”

RONETTES: LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF TERROR
CALL A COP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, NO! OH OH OH NO-OH!

LITTLE SHOP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

BOP SH’BOP, LITTLE SHOP OF TERROR
WATCH ‘EM DROP, LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS, NO! OH OH OH NO-OH!

RONNETTES: SHING-A-LING, WHAT A CREEPY THING TO BE HAPPENING

GIRLS: Look out! Look out! Look out! Look out!
RONNETTES: SHANG-A-LANG, FEEL THE STURM AND DRANG IN THE AIR
GIRLS: YEAH YEAH YEAH!
RONNETTES: SHA LA LA, STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE
DON’T MOVE A THING

RONETTE: YOU BETTER

ALL: YOU BETTER, TELLING YOU, YOU BETTER
TELL YOU MAMA SOMETHING’S GONNA GET HER
SHE BETTER, EVERYBODY BETTER BEWARE!

SCENE 1

MUSHNIK: So, she finally decides to come to work

AUDREY: Good morning Mr Mushnik.
MUSHNIK: What morning? It’s two o’clock in the afternoon. Not that we had a customer. Who has customers when
you run a flower shop on Skid Row?
AUDREY: I’m sorry.
MUSHNIK: Audrey. Where’d you get that shiner?
AUDREY: Shiner?
MUSHNIK: Audrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours – he’s been beating up on you again? I’m beginning to think he’s
maybe not such a nice boy.
AUDREY: You don’t meet nice boys when you live on Skid Row, Mr Mushnik.
SEYMOUR: I got these plants repotted for you, Mr…
MUSHNIK: Seymour!
AUDREY: Don’t yell at Seymour, Mr Mushnik.
SEYMOUR: Hi Audrey. You look radiant today. Is that new eye-make up?
AUDREY: I’ll clean it up before any of the customers get here.
MUSHNIK: Well that ought to give you plenty of time. Misfit employees, bums on the sidewalk, business is lousy.
You! Urchins! Off the stoop! I don’t need three worthless ragamuffins to complete the picture.
RONNETTES: Aw, we ain’t bothering nobody. Are we Crystal?
RONNETTES: No we’re not Ronnette.
MUSHNIK: You ought to be in school

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RONNETTES: We’re on a split shift
RONNETTES: Right. We went to school ‘til the fifth grade, then we split!
MUSHNIK: So how do you intend to better yourselves?
RONNETTES: Better ourselves? Mister, when you’re from Skid Row, ain’t no such thing.

“DOWNTOWN (SKID ROW)”

RONNETTES: ALARM GOES OFF AT SEVEN, AND YOU START UPTOWN

YOU PUT IN YOUR EIGHT HOURS, FOR THE POWERS THAT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
RONNETTES: Sing it child
RONNETTES: TILL IT’S FIVE P.M
WINO #1: THEN YOU GO

GIRLS: DOWNTOWN, WHERE THE FOLKS ARE BROKE

YOU GO DOWNTOWN, WHERE YOUR LIFE’S A JOKE
YOU GO DOWNTOWN, WHEN YOU BUY YOUR TOKEN YOU GO-
HOME TO SKID ROW!

GIRLS: HOME TO SKID ROW!

WINO #1: YES YOU GO

ALL: DOWNTOWN
RONNETTES: WHERE THE CABS DON’T STOP
ALL: DOWNTOWN
RONNETTES: WHERE THE FOOD IS SLOP
ALL: DOWNTOWN, WHERE THE HOP-HEADS FLOP IN THE SNOW
DOWN ON SKID ROW!

GIRLS: UPTOWN YOU CATER TO A MILLION JERKS

UPTOWN YOU’RE MESSENGER AND MAILROOM CLERKS
EATIN’ ALL YOUR LUNCHES AT THE HOT DOG CARTS
THE BOSSES TAKE YOUR MONEY AND THEY BREAK YOUR HEARTS

GIRLS: UPTOWN YOU CATER TO A MILLION BORES

YOU DISINFECT TERRAZZO ON THEIR BATHROOM FLOORS
YOUR MORNING’S TRIBULATION, AFTERNOON’S A CURSE
AND FIVE O’CLOCK IS EVEN WORSE
WINO #1: THAT’S WHEN YOU GO

ALL: DOWNTOWN
AUDREY: WHERE THE GUYS ARE DRIPS
ALL: DOWNTOWN
AUDREY: WHERE THEY RIP YOUR SLIPS
ALL: DOWNTOWN,
WHERE RELATIONSHIPS ARE NO GO

ALL: DOWN ON SKID ROW!

GIRLS: DOWN ON SKID ROW!
ALL: DOWN ON SKID ROW!
GIRLS: DOWN ON SKID ROW!
ALL: DOWN ON SKID ROW!

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GIRLS: DOWN ON SKID ROW!
ALL: DOWN ON SKID ROW!

AUDREY: Mr Mushnik, we were both thinking that maybe some of Seymour’s strange and interesting plants would
attract business.
SEYMOUR: I’m afraid it isn’t feeling very well today.
MUSHNIK: What kind of weirdo plant is that Seymour?
SEYMOUR: I don’t know. I haven’t been able to identify it. So I gave it my own name. I call it an Audrey Two.
AUDREY: After me?
SEYMOUR: I hope you don’t mind. You see sir, if you put a strange and interesting plant like this, here in the window,
maybe –
MUSHNIK: Maybe what? Just because you put a strange and interesting plant in a window, people don’t suddenly…

CUSTOMER: Excuse me. I couldn’t help noticing that strange and interesting plant. What is it?
AUDREY: It’s an Audrey Two
CUSTOMER: I’ve never seen anything like it before
Yes sir. That is one strange and interesting plant.

MUSHNIK: I’d never have believed it. My friends, I’m taking us to dinner!
AUDREY: Oh, I’d love to, Mr Mushnik, but I have a date.
MUSHNIK: With the same nogoodnik?
AUDREY: He’s a rebel Mr Mushnik. But he makes good money. And besides… he’s the only fella I’ve got. Enjoy
dinner. Goodnight Seymour.
SEYMOUR: Goodnight

MUSHNIK: Poor girl

SEYMOUR: Are we still going to dinner?
MUSHNIK: You’re staying right here and taking care of this sick plant. How come it’s fainting all the time?
SEYMOUR: I told you, It just wilts like this. The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.
MUSHNIK: Strictly between us, neither is the Audrey one.

SEYMOUR: Are you sick little plant?

Ouch! Damned thorns!

Hey! You’re opening up! Well, I guess a few drops couldn’t hurt.

SCENE 2

RONNETTES: Well look who’s here.

AUDREY: Seymour’s first radio broadcast. I…
RONNETTES: Don’t tell me.
FIVE GIRLS: You got tied up?
AUDREY: No…just handcuffed a little.
RONNETTES: Girl you need to dump the chump and get another guy.
AUDREY: Oh no, it’s just a day dream of mine. The sweetest, greenest place – where the houses are so neat
and pretty. Oh, I dream about it all the time. Just me. And the toaster. And a sweet little guy. Like
Seymour-
[Audrey sings acapella & Ronettes join]
Audrey Ronettes
FAR FROM SKID ROW

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 I DREAM WE’LL GO
YOU’LL GO
SOMEWHERE THAT’S GREEN SOMEWHERE THAT’S GREEN

SCENE 3

ORIN: Excuse me ladies. Which way to thirteen Skid Row?

I’m here to pick up my date.
RONNETTES: That’s him! That’s the one!
ORIN: Ladies! Ladies! Please! I’m friendly! You want some nitrous oxide?
This stuff is great. Allow me to explain.

“DENTIST”

ORIN: WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, JUST A BAD LITTLE KID

MY MAMA NOTICED FUNNY THINGS I DID –
LIKE SHOOTIN’ PUPPIES WITH A B.B GUN
I’D POISON GUPPIES, AND WHEN I WAS DONE
I’D FIND A PUSSYCAT AND BASH IN IT’S HEAD
THAT’S WHEN MY MAMA SAID –
GIRLS: What did she say?
ORIN: SHE SAID MY BOY I THINK SOME DAY
YOU’LL FIND A WAY, TO MAKE YOUR NATURAL TENDENCIES PAY
YOU’LL BE A DENTIST!
GIRLS: YOU’LL BE A DENTIST!
ORIN: YOU HAVE A TALENT FOR CAUSING THINGS PAIN
GIRLS: Pain!
ORIN: SON, BE A DENTIST!
GIRLS: SON, BE A DENTIST!
ORIN: PEOPLE WILL PAY YOU TO BE INHUMANE
GIRLS: Inhumane!
ORIN: YOUR TEMPERAMENT’S WRONG FOR THE PREST-HOOD
AND TEACHING WOULD SUIT YOU STILL LESS!
ORIN & GIRLS: SON, BE A DENTIST!
YOU’LL BE A SUCCESS!

ORIN: Hey, how ya doin’?

SEYMOUR: Fine thankyou… But the shop’s closed.
ORIN: I’m not here to shop. I’m here to… Hey this must be the plant they’re talkin’ about on the news.
Whatdya call it?
SEYMOUR: An Audrey Two. I raised it myself. Now, if you don’t mind I’m not really supposed to let
anyone…
AUDREY: It’s okay Seymour. This is my boyfriend. Seymour, Orin Scrivello. D.D.S. Shouldn’t we be
leaving now?… I’m sorry.
ORIN: Sorry, what?
AUDREY: I’m sorry, doctor… doctor… Sorry, doctor.
ORIN: You gotta train ‘em, eh stud. Well, my bike’s outside and double-parked. Okay, Audrey! Let’s
go!

SCENE 4

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PLANT: Feed me!
SEYMOUR: I beg your pardon
PLANT: Feed me!
SEYMOUR: Twoey, you talked.
PLANT: Feed me, Krelborn! Feed me now!
SEYMOUR: [looking at his hand] I can’t!
PLANT: I’m starving!
SEYMOUR: I know! I know! But you can’t get blood from a…
PLANT: More! More!
SEYMOUR: I haven’t got any more! What do you want me to do? Look… how ’bout I run down the corner
and pick you up some nice chopped sirloin?
PLANT: Must be blood!
SEYMOUR: Twoey! That’s disgusting!
PLANT: Must be fresh!
SEYMOUR: I don’t want to hear this!

“FEED ME - GIT IT”

PLANT: FEED ME!

SEYMOUR: Does it have to be human?
PLANT: FEED ME!
SEYMOUR: Does it have to be mine?
PLANT: FEED ME!
SEYMOUR: Where am I supposed to get it?
PLANT: FEED ME, SEYMOUR
FEED ME ALL NIGHT LONG
That’s right boy, you can do it!
FEED ME, SEYMOUR
FEED ME ALL NIGHT LONG
Hehn, hehn, hehn
‘CAUSE IF YOU FEED ME SEYMOUR
I CAN GROW UP BIG AND STRONG

SEYMOUR: You eat blood, Audrey Two. Let’s face it. How’m I supposed to keep feeding you? Kill people?
PLANT: I’ll make it worth your while.
SEYMOUR: What?
PLANT: You think this is all coincidence? The sudden success around here?
SEYMOUR: Look, you’re a plant. An inanimate object.
PLANT: Does this look inanimate to you punk? If I can talk and I can move, who’s to say I can’t do
anything I want?
SEYMOUR: Like what?
PLANT: Like deliver pal. Like see you get everything your secret greasy heart desires.
ORIN: Stupid woman! What a scatter brain!
AUDREY: I’m sorry doctor! I’m sorry doctor!
ORIN: Get in there and pick up the sweater. Now!
AUDREY: Yes doctor! Right away doctor! Hi, Seymour. I left my sweater here before.
ORIN: C’mon, move it. If your stupid head weren’t screwed on!
AUDREY: Orin! That hurt!
ORIN: Move it! Oohhboy! Seymour, I am flyin’ now! You want some? No? Well, I guess I’ve had about
enough of this stuff! I’ll just take the mask off now and… Hey… Seymour…. Guess what?
SEYMOUR: What?
ORIN: It’s stuck!

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SEYMOUR: What?
ORIN: The mask! It’s stuck! I can’t get it off! Hey Seymour – gimme a hand will ya?
SEYMOUR: Well –
ORIN: Well? He says well? Uh, Seymour… I don’t think you understand…

SCENE 5

AUDREY: What a day! Seymour, do you mind locking up for me?

SEYMOUR: Uh, one minute Audrey. I want to show you something.
AUDREY: Can’t it wait till tomorrow?
SEYMOUR: It won’t take long. I’ve been shopping like you told me to and… [he reappears wearing a black
leather jacket] Ta da… [beat] What do you think?
AUDREY: [in shock] Seymour.
SEYMOUR: You don’t like it?
AUDREY: I… I… I don’t know, I…
SEYMOUR: I’ll take it off. I’ll burn it.
Just don’t cry. Please. I only bought it to impress you. Audrey, you shouldn’t waste one more
minute worrying about that creep. There’s alotta guys that would give anything to go out with
you. Nice guys.
AUDREY: I don’t deserve a nice guy, Seymour.
SEYMOUR: That’s not true.
AUDREY: I’ve led a terrible life.
SEYMOUR: You’re a very nice person and I always knew you were. Underneath all the bruises, you know
what I saw? A girl I respected. I still do.

“SUDDENLY SEYMOUR”

SEYMOUR: LIFT UP YOUR HEAD, WASH OFF YOUR MASCARA

HERE, TAKE MY KLEENEX, WIPE THAT LIPSTICK AWAY
SHOW ME YOUR FACE, CLEAN AS THE MORNING
I KNOW THINGS WERE BAD, BUT NOW THEY’RE OKAY

SUDDENLY SEYMOUR, IS STANDING BESIDE YOU

YA DON’T NEED NO MAKEUP, DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND
SUDDENLY SEYMOUR
IS HERE TO PROVIDE YOU
SWEET UNDERSTANDING
SEYMOUR’S YOUR FRIEND

AUDREY: NOBODY EVER TREATED ME KINDLY

DADDY LEFT EARLY, MAMA WAS POOR
I’D MEET A MAN AND I’D FOLLOW HIM BLINDLY
HE’D SNAP HIS FINGERS
ME, I’D SAY “SURE”

SUDDENLY SEYMOUR IS STANDING BESIDE ME

HE DON’T GIVE ME ORDERS, HE DON’T CONDESCEND!
SUDDENLY SEYMOUR, IS HERE TO PROVIDE ME
SWEET UNDERSTANDING
SEYMOUR’S MY FRIEND

SEYMOUR: TELL ME THIS FEELING LASTS TIL FOREVER

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 TELL ME THE BAD TIMES
ARE CLEAN, WASHED AWAY

AUDREY: PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT IT’S STILL STRANGE AND FRIGHTENIN’

FOR LOSERS LIKE I’VE BEEN, IT’S SO HARD TO SAY…

AUDREY: SUDDENLY SEYMOUR!

SEYMOUR & GIRLS: SUDDENLY SEYMOUR!
AUDREY: HE PURIFIED ME!
SEYMOUR & GIRLS: HE PURIFIED YOU!
AUDREY: SUDDENLY SEYMOUR!
SEYMOUR & GIRLS: SUDDENLY SEYMOUR!
AUDREY: SHOWED ME I CAN
SEYMOUR & GIRLS: YES YOU CAN!
ALL: LEARN HOW TO BE MORE
AUDREY: THE GIRL THAT’S INSIDE ME
SEYMOUR & GIRLS: OOH, OOH, OOH
SEYMOUR: WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING…
AUDREY: WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING…
SEYMOUR: WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING…
AUDREY: WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING
ALL: WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING!
SEYMOUR’S MY (YOUR)
MAN!

SCENE 6

MUSHNIK: Little red dots. All over the floor.

SEYMOUR: You’re acting pretty strange
MUSHNIK: I had a pretty strange afternoon. I was called to the police station.
SEYMOUR: The police?
MUSHNIK: Yes. It seems they found a Mushnik’s Skid Row Florists bag … in the dentist’s office!
Little red dots all over the linoleum!
SEYMOUR: I… I spilled a drink and it stained.
MUSHNIK: Hard to keep things clean around here isn’t it? Especially when they only remove our garbage
once a month!
SEYMOUR: What are you talking about?
MUSHNIK: This! A dentist’s uniform!

“SUPPERTIME”

PLANT: HE’S GOT YOUR NUMBER NOW

MUSHNIK: I saw it last week and didn’t think twice
PLANT: HE KNOWS JUST WHAT YOU DONE
MUSHNIK: And the little red dots seemed innocent enough
PLANT: YOU GOT NO PLACE TO HIDE
MUSHNIK: But now I catch you kissing the dentist’s girlfriend…
PLANT: YOU GOT NO WHERE TO RUN!
MUSHNIK: And it begins to look like a motive!
PLANT: HE KNOWS YOUR LIFE OF CRIME!
MUSHNIK: Once he’s out of the way, you move in, right?
PLANT: I THINK IT’S SUPPERTIME!

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SEYMOUR: I’m innocent! I’m innocent!
MUSHNIK: Then come with me to the police and tell them that!

PLANT: HE’S GOT HIS FACTS ALL STRAIGHT

MUSHNIK: Just so my conscience will rest easy
PLANT: YOU KNOW HE’S ON YOUR TRAIL
MUSHNIK: If you don’t, I’ll have to go tell them myself.
PLANT: HE’S GONNA TURN YOU IN
MUSHNIK: Now, will you come?
PLANT: THEY’RE GONNA PUT YOU IN JAIL!
SEYMOUR: O… Okay
PLANT: HE’S U.S.D.A P-RIME
FOR MY SUPPERTIME!
MUSHNIK: I’ll go lock up; we’ll head over.

PLANT: COME ON, COME ON, THINK ABOUT ALL THOSE OFFERS!
COME ON, COME ON, YOUR FUTURE WITH AUDREY!
COME ON, COME ON, AIN’T NO TIME TO TURN SQUEAMISH!
COME ON, COME ON, I SWEAR ON ALL MY SPORES –
WHEN HE’S GONE, THE WORLD WILL BE YOURS.

MUSHNIK: Okay, Seymour. Let’s go.

SEYMOUR: Er… don’t you want the receipts so you deposit them in the morning?

MUSHNIK: You put them in the safe, didn’t you?

SEYMOUR: Err… no
SEYMOUR: In the plant
MUSHNIK: The money’s inside the plant?

[Mushnik attempts to enter the plant and is eaten]

SCENE 7
[The plant laughs]

SEYMOUR: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

[SEYMOUR keeps shouting and the plant laughs]

AUDREY: Seymour! What’s the matter with you?

SEYMOUR: It’s the matter with me! I’m trying to think of someway… something… someone…
AUDREY: Seymour – [She slaps him daintily] You’re hysterical. [beat] When did Mr Mushnik say he’d be
back in that note he left you?
SEYMOUR: Err… Oh… He could be gone a very long time. Audrey… could I ask you something?
AUDREY: Anything
SEYMOUR: Well, just suppose that I was a nobody again. Would you still like me?
AUDREY: I’d still love you, Seymour
SEYMOUR: Then it’s settled.
AUDREY: What’s settled?
SEYMOUR: Right after Life Magazine takes our picture – you know who bites the dust!

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AUDREY: I don’t get it Seymour. You’re scaring me.
SEYMOUR: There’s nothing to be scared of. We’ll go away from here and live happily ever after, I promise.
I’ll explain everything to you tomorrow. Just go home now, Audrey. Please.
AUDREY: I can’t leave you in this condition
SEYMOUR: Don’t worry about me. Don’t worry about anything.

PLANT: Feed me!

SEYMOUR: I’ll run down to the corner and get you some meat.
PLANT: It’s better than nothing.

[AUDREY enters]

“SOMINEX / SUPPERTIME (REPRISE)”

AUDREY: I COULDN'T SLEEP

I TOOK A SOMINEX
BUT VOICES IN MY HEAD KEPT SAYING
"GO TO SEYMOUR, TALK TO SEYMOUR"
I DRANK SOME TEA
BUT GEE THE FEELING WASN'T GONE
SEYMOUR, SWEETHEART
TELL ME, DARLING
WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

PLANT: HEY, LITTLE LADY, HELLO

AUDREY: Who… Who said that?
PLANT: YOU’RE LOOKING CUTE AS CAN BE
AUDREY: Is somebody in there?
PLANT: YOU’RE LOOKING MIGHTY SWEET!
AUDREY: Seymour? Seymour?
PLANT: NO IT AIN’T SEYMOUR –
PLANT: IT’S ME!
AUDREY: Oh my God!
PLANT: YOUR FRIENDLY AUDREY TWO!
THIS PLANT IS TALKING…
To you.
AUDREY: I don’t believe it.
PLANT: Believe it baby. It talks.
AUDREY: Am I dreaming this?
PLANT: No. And you ain’t in Kansas neither.
AUDREY: [turns forward on a MUSICAL CHORD] Something’s very wrong here.
PLANT: Relax and go with it doll. Do me a favour will ya sweetheart?
AUDREY: A favour?
PLANT: I need some water in the worst way. Look at my branches. I’m a goner, honey.

COME ON AND GIMME A DRINK

AUDREY: I don’t know if I should.

PLANT: HEY LITTLE LADY BE NICE
AUDREY: You just want water right?
PLANT: SURE DO, I’LL DRINK IT STRAIGHT

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AUDREY: Your branches are dry, poor thing.
PLANT: DON’T NEED NO GLASS AND NO ICE
AUDREY: I’ll get the can.
PLANT: DON’T NEED NO TWIST OF LIME!
AUDREY: Here you go.
PLANT: AND NOW IT’S SUPPERTIME!

PLANT: Come on, join your dentist friend and Mushnik. They’re right inside!
AUDREY: Help!
SEYMOUR: Audrey! No! Get off her! Get off her!

SEYMOUR: Audrey! Are you alright?

AUDREY: Yes……..No.
SEYMOUR: Don’t die Audrey…please…I need you.
AUDREY: The plant said the strangest thing just now… it said Orin and Mr Musnik are already inside.
SEYMOUR: It’s true. I’ve done some terrible things Audrey. But not to you, never to you.
AUDREY: But…I want you to, Seymour. When I die which should be very shortly. Give me to the plant, so
it can live to bring you all the wonderful things you deserve.
SEYMOUR: You don’t know what you’re saying.
AUDREY: But I do. It’s the one gift I can give you. And if I’m in the plant, then I’m part of the plant. So in a
way….we’ll always be…together.

“SOMEWHERE THAT’S GREEN (REPRISE)”

AUDREY: YOU'LL WASH MY TENDER LEAVES

YOU'LL SMELL MY SWEET PERFUME
YOU'LL WATER ME
AND CARE FOR ME
YOU'LL SEE ME BUD AND BLOOM

I'M FEELING STRANGELY HAPPY NOW;

CONTENTED AND SERENE
OH, DON'T YOU SEE?
FINALLY I'LL BE
SOMEWHERE THAT'S…GREEN

SEYMOUR: This is what you planned all along! Every house hold in America!
PLANT: NO SHIT Sherlock!
SEYMOUR: I’ll hack you to bits. I’ll get you from the inside.

“DON’T FEED THE PLANTS”

RONETTES: SUBSEQUENT TO THE EVENTS YOU HAVE JUST WITNESSED

SIMILAR EVENTS IN CITIES ACROSS AMERICA
EVENTS WHICH BORE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE
TO THE ONES YOU HAVE JUST SEEN BEGAN OCCURRING

SUBSEQUENT TO THE EVENTS YOU HAVE JUST WITNESSED

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 UNSUSPECTING JERKS FROM MAINE TO CALIFORNIA
MADE THE ACQUAINTANCE OF A NEW BREED OF FLYTRAP
AND GOT SWEET-TALKED INTO FEEDING IT BLOOD

THUS THE PLANTS WORKED THEIR TERRIBLE WILL

FINDING JERKS WHO WOULD FEED THEM THEIR FILL
AND THE PLANTS PROCEEDED TO GROW AND GROW- AND GROW
AND BEGIN WHAT THEY CAME HERE TO DO
WHICH WAS ESSENTIALLY TO
EAT CLEVELAND AND DES MOINES
AND PEORIA AND NEW YORK
AND THIS THEATER!

GIRLS: THEY MAY OFFER YOU FORTUNE AND FAME

LOVE AND MONEY AND INSTANT ACCLAIM
BUT WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU
DON’T FEED THE PLANTS!

SOLO: THEY MAY OFFER YOU LOTS OF CHEAP THRILLS

SOLO: FANCY CONDOS IN BEVERLY HILLS
SOLO: BUT WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU
ALL: DON’T FEED THE PLANTS!

GIRLS & SEYMOUR: LOOKOUT! HERE COMES AUDREY TWO!

PLANT:: LOOKOUT! HERE I COME FOR YOU!
HERE HE COMES FOR YOU
HERE HE COMES FOR YOU
HERE HE COMES FOR YOU!

ALL: HOLD YOUR HAT AND HANG ONTO YOUR SOUL!

SOMETHING’S COMING TO EAT THE WHOLE WORLD
IF WE FIGHT IT, WE’VE STILL GOT A CHANCE.
BUT WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU –
THOUGH THEY’RE SLOPIN’ THE TROUGH FOR YOU –
PLEASE WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU,
DON’T FEED THE PLANTS!

ENSEMBLE MEMBER[Shouts]: What about Donald Trump?

PLANT: I’LL EAT HIM TOMORROW.

ALL: DON’T FEED THE PLA-A-ANTS!

END OF SHOW

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