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4

Series Editor: Jeanne Lambert


The New School

Wendy Asplin
University of Washington
Monica F. Jacobe
The College of New Jersey
Alan S. Kennedy
Columbia University
with
Lindsay Hansen, University of Arizona

* .4. nH CAMBRIDGE
4 : UNIVERSITY PRESS
4

Series Editor: Jeanne Lambert


The New School

Wendy Asplin
University of Washington
Monica F. Jacobe
The College of New Jersey
Alan S. Kennedy
Columbia University
with
Lindsay Hansen, University of Arizona

* .4. nH CAMBRIDGE
4 : UNIVERSITY PRESS
CAMBRIDGE
UNIVERSITY PRESS

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© Cambridge University Press 2016
This publication is in copyright. Subject to statutory exception and to the provisions of relevant collective
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Cambridge University Press.
First published 2016

20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10 9 8 7 6
Printed in Malaysia by Vivar Printing
A catalog record for this publication is available from the British library.

Cataloging in Publication data is available at the Library of Congress.

Jacobe, Monica F author.


,

Final draft. 4 / Monica F Jacobe ; Alan S. Kennedy.


,



pages cm ISBN 978-1-107 - 49557 -9 (Students Book Level 4 ) ISBN 978 - 1- 107 - 49558-6 {Students Book with Writing Skills
— -
Interactive Level 4 ) ISBN 978 -1-107-49559 - 3 ( Teachers Manual Level 4 ) 1. English language Rhetoric- Problems,
exercises and etc. 2. English language- - Textbooks for foreign speakers. 3. Report writing — Problems, exercises and etc.
I. Kennedy, Alan S., ( Language teacher ) author. II. Title. III. Title: Final Draft four IV. Title: Final Draft 4.
,

PE 1408.J 23 2015
808 042 — dc 23
^
2015004565
ISBN 978 -1- 107- 49557-9 Students Book Level 4
ISBN 978 - 1 - 107- 49558 -6 Students Book with Writing Skills Interactive Level 4
ISBN 978 -1-107- 49559-3 Teachers Manual Level 4

Additional resources for this publication at www.cambridge.org / finaldraft

Cambridge University Press has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy of URLs for external or
third - party Internet Web sites referred to in this publication and does not guarantee that any content on
such Web sites is, or will remain , accurate or appropriate. Information regarding prices, travel timetables,
and other factual information given in this work is correct at the time of first printing but Cambridge
University Press does not guarantee the accuracy of such information thereafter.

Art direction , book design , and photo research : emc design limited
Layout services: emc design limited
CONTENTS
SCOPE AND SEQUENCE 4
TOUR OF A UNIT 6
THE TEAM BEHIND FINAL DRAFT 10
ACADEMIC ESSAYS 13
PSYCHOLOGY: CONSUMER BEHAVIOR

HISTORY: IMMIGRATION

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 79


SOCIOLOGY: EFFECTS OF GEOGRAPHIC MOBILITY

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 111


ANTHROPOLOGY: FOOD AND CULTURE

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 143


PUBLIC HEALTH: MEDIA

COMMUNICATIONS: THE INFORMATION AGE

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 213


SOCIOLOGY: SOCIAL INTERACTION

TEST TAKING 249


TIMED WRITING

SELF- EDITING REVIEW 270


SOURCES 277
INDEX 280
CREDITS 285
SCOPE AND SEQUENCE
UNIT TITLE & ACADEMIC TOPIC VOCABULARY <§) MODELS
Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:
1 ACADEMIC ESSAYS Academic Collocations

"Buy Nothing Day"
Student Model:
PSYCHOLOGY: CONSUMER
"The Benefits of Online Shopping"
BEHAVIOR PAGE 13
Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:
2 Academic Phrases

"An Immigrant's Silent Struggle"
Student Model:
HISTORY: IMMIGRATION
"How I Became a Mexican American"
Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:
3 CAUSE AND EFFECT Academic Collocations

"Moving Is Tough for Kids"
Student Model:
ESSAYS
"Rural Communities Left Behind"
SOCIOLOGY: EFFECTS OF
GEOGRAPHIC MOBILITY PAGE 79
Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:
4 COMPARISON AND Academic Phrases

"The Cost of a Global Food Chain"
Student Model:
CONTRAST ESSAYS
"The Naturally Inferior Choice"
ANTHROPOLOGY: FOOD AND
CULTURE PAGE 111
Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:
5 PROBLEM-SOLUTION Academic Collocations "The Psychology Behind
Cyberchondria"
ESSAYS
• Student Model:
PUBLIC HEALTH: MEDIA PAGE 143 " Social Media, Consumers, and Health
Care"

Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:


6 Academic Phrases

"Overcoming Information Overload"
Student Model:
Summary and Response to " Stop
COMMUNICATIONS: THE Knocking Curation"
INFORMATION AGE

Academic Vocabulary • Writing in the Real World:


7 ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS Academic Collocations

"Dunbar's Number"
Student Model:
SOCIOLOGY: SOCIAL INTERACTION
PAGE 213
"Why Girls Should Learn Alone"

• Student Model: 45-minute timed


8 TEST TAKING writing response
TIMED WRITING PAGE 249

All academic vocabulary words appear on the Academic Word List (AWL) or the General Service List ( GSL ) G> All academic
*

collocations, academic phrases, and common grammar mistakes are based on the Cambridge Academic Corpus.

4
WRITING SKILLS GRAMMAR FOR WRITING © AVOIDING PLAGIARISM DO RESEARCH
Thesis statements Gerunds and infinitives Citing sources to avoid Developing key words
plagiarism for an Internet search

Parallel structure Past tense forms Common knowledge Choosing a quotation


Sentence variety for an essay

Paraphrasing Present perfect and present perfect Paraphrasing to avoid Choosing a text to
Avoiding sentence progressive plagiarism paraphrase for support
fragments, run-on in an essay
sentences, and comma
splices

Words and phrases that Appositives Choosing credible sources Evaluating Internet
show similarities and sources
differences
Coherence

Introduction to It constructions Time management Finding up-to-date


summarizing information
Acknowledging and
refuting opposing
solutions

Language for Noun clauses with wh- words and Note taking Taking clear notes to
summarizing if / whether avoid citation mistakes
Neutral and unbiased
language
Avoiding overuse of key
words
Audience and appeal Complex noun phrases Citing graphs and charts Using non-textual
Language for sources in research
introducing
counterarguments and
refutation
Steps for timed writing:
• plan time
• analyze prompt
• brainstorm
• write outline
• write essay
• proofread essay

SCOPE AND SEQUENCE 5


TOUR OF A UNIT
ACADEMIC WRITING AND VOCABULARY

Students begin to
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ANALYSIS OF TWO WRITING MODELS

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The second model shows a typical assignment from a college writing


course. Students analyze this in detail, preparing for their own writing.

TOUR OF A UNIT
THE SKILLS AND GRAMMAR EVERY WRITER NEEDS

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TOUR OF A UNIT 9
THE TEAM BEHIND FINAL DRAFT
!S EDITOR
Jeanne Lambert brings 20 years of ESL classroom, teacher training,
and materials writing experience to her role as series editor of Final Draft.
Jeanne has taught at Columbia University, City University of New York
(CUNY), and The New School, specializing in academic writing and
English for Academic Purposes. While at Columbia University, she taught
writing courses in both the American Language Program and for the
School of International and Public Affairs. At CUNY, she co -designed a
faculty development program to help high school teachers align their
ESL reading and writing curriculum with college standards. She has
worked as an ESL Methods Practicum instructor and currently teaches
academic writing at The New School.

is
Wendy Asplin has taught international students and teachers-in-training
in Turkey and the United States. For the past 20 years, she has been a
lecturer at the University of Washington in Seattle and is an author of the
Cambridge academic reading series Read This!

Monica F. Jacobe is Director of the Center for American Language & Culture
at The College of New jersey. She has 15 years of experience teaching
multilingual writers and supporting teachers of multilingual students.
She has published and presented widely on a variety of issues in higher
education, including pedagogy, instructional support, and writing.

Alan S. Kennedy is a lecturer in language in the American Language


Program at Columbia University, where he is also the coordinator of the
International Teaching Assistants program. He has presented at several
national and international conferences on linguistics and language
teaching.

A< £ Cl AD BBS-!Y
The Advisory Panel is comprised of experienced writing instructors who have helped guide the
development of this series and have provided invaluable information about the needs of ESL
student writers.
Laszlo Arvai, Borough of Manhattan Community College, New York, NY
Leo Kazan, Passaic County Community College, Paterson, NJ
Amy Nunamaker, San Diego State College, San Diego, CA
Amy Renehan, University of Washington, Seattle, WA
Adrianne Thompson, Miami Dade College, Miami, FL

10
ri\i

Final Draft was influenced by the opinions and insights of classroom teachers from the following
institutions:
UNITED STATES Alabama: Cleburne County High School, Gadsden State Community College,
University of Alabama; Arizona: Arizona State University, Northern Arizona University, Pima
Community College; Arkansas: Arkansas State University, University of Arkansas, University of Central
Arkansas; California: Allan Hancock College, Berkeley High School, California State Polytechnic
University, California State University East Bay, California State University Fullerton, California State
University Long Beach, California State University Los Angeles, City College of San Francisco, College
of San Mateo, De Anza College, Diablo Valley College, East Los Angeles College, El Camino College,
The English Center, Evergreen Valley College, Foothill College, Fullerton College, Gavilan College,
Glendale Community College, Hollywood High School, Imperial Valley College, Las Positas College,
Los Angeles City College, Los Angeles Southwest College, Mendocino College, Mills College, Mission
College, Modesto junior College, Monterey Peninsula College, Palomar College, Pasadena City
College, Placer High School, Roybal Learning Center, Sacramento City College, Sacramento State, San
Diego Community College District, San Francisco State University, San Jose City College, Santa Ana
College, Santa Barbara City College, Santa Monica College, Santa Rosa Junior College, Skyline
College, Stanford University, Taft College, University of California Berkeley, University of California
Davis, University of California Irvine, University of San Diego, University of San Francisco, University of
Southern California, West Valley Community College; Colorado: Community College of Aurora, Front
Range Community College, Red Rocks Community College, University of Colorado; Connecticut:
Central Connecticut State University, Enfield High School, Naugatuck Valley Community College,
Norwalk Community College, Post University, University of Bridgeport, University of Hartford; Florida:
Barry University, Florida Southwestern State College, Florida State University, Hillsborough
Community College, Indian River State College, Miami Dade College, Robinson High School, St.
Petersburg College, University of Central Florida, University of Florida, University of Miami, University
of South Florida; Georgia: Augusta State University, Emory University, Georgia Institute of Technology,
Georgia Perimeter College, Georgia State University, Interactive College of Technology, Pebblebrook
High School, Savannah College of Art and Design, West Hall High School; Hawaii: Hawaii Community
College, Hawaii Tokai International College, Kapiolani Community College, Mid-Pacific Institute,
University of Hawaii; Idaho: College of Western Idaho, Northwest Nazarene University; Illinois:
College of DuPage, College of Lake County, Elgin Community College, English Center USA, Harold
Washington College, Harper College, Illinois Institute of Technology, Lake Forest Academy, Moraine
Valley Community College, Oakton Community College, Roosevelt University, South Suburban
College, Southern Illinois University, Triton College, Truman College, University of Illinois, Waubonsee
Community College; Indiana: Earlham College, Indiana University, Purdue University; Iowa: Divine
Word College, Iowa State University, Kirkwood Community College, Mercy College of Health
Sciences, University of Northern Iowa; Kansas: Donnelly College, Johnson County Community
College, Kansas State University, Washburn University; Kentucky: Bluegrass Community & Technical
College, Georgetown College, Northern Kentucky University, University of Kentucky; Maryland: Anne
Arundel Community College, Howard Community College, Montgomery College, Johns Hopkins
University; Massachusetts: Boston University, Mount Ida College, New England Conservatory of
Music, North Shore Community College, Phillips Academy, Roxbury Community College, The
Winchendon School, Worcester State University; Michigan: Central Michigan University, Eastern
Michigan University, Grand Rapids Community College, Lansing Community College, Macomb
Community College, Michigan State University, Saginaw Valley State University, University of Detroit
Mercy, University of Michigan, Wayne State University, Western Michigan University;

THE TEAM BEHIND 11


Minnesota: Century College, Saint Paul College, University of Minnesota, University of St. Thomas;
Mississippi: Mississippi College, Mississippi State University; Missouri: Missouri State University, St.
Louis Community College, Saint Louis University, University of Missouri, Webster University;
Nebraska: Union College, University of Nebraska; Nevada: Truckee Meadows Community College,
University of Nevada; New jersey: Bergen Community College, The College of New Jersey, Hudson
County Community College, Kean University, Linden High School, Mercer County Community
College, Passaic County Community College, Rutgers University, Stockton University, Union County
College; New Mexico: University of New Mexico; New York: Alfred State College, Baruch College,
Borough of Manhattan Community College, City University of New York, Columbia University,
Fashion Institute of Technology, Hofstra University, Hostos Community College, Hunter College, John
Jay College of Criminal justice, Kingsborough Community College, The Knox School, LaCuardia
Community College, LIC/LISMA Language Center, Medgar Evers College, New York University,
Queens College, Queensborough Community College, Suffolk Community College, Syracuse
University, Zoni Language Centers; North Carolina: Central Carolina Community College, Central
Piedmont Community College, Duke University, Durham Technical Community College, South
Piedmont Community College, University of North Carolina, Wake Technical Community College;
North Dakota: Woodrow Wilson High School; Ohio: Columbus State Community College, Cuyahoga
Community College, Kent State University, Miami University Middletown, Ohio Northern University,
Ohio State University, Sinclair Community College, University of Cincinnati, University of Dayton,
Wright State University, Xavier University; Oklahoma: University of Oklahoma; Oregon: Chemeketa
Community College, Clackamas Community College, Lewis & Clark College, Portland Community
College, Portland State University, Westview High School; Pennsylvania: Pennsylvania State
University, University of Pennsylvania, University of Pittsburgh; Puerto Rico: Carlos Albizu University,
InterAmerican University of Puerto Rico; Rhode Island: Johnson & Wales University, Salve Regina
University; South Carolina: University of South Carolina; South Dakota: Black Hills State University;
Tennessee: Southern Adventist University, University of Tennessee, Vanderbilt University, Williamson
Christian College; Texas: Austin Community College, Colleyville Heritage High School, Collin College,
Dallas Baptist University, El Paso Community College, Houston Community College, Lone Star
College, Northwest Vista College, Richland College, San Jacinto College, Stephen F. Austin State
University, Tarrant County College, Texas A& M University, University of Houston, University of North
Texas, University of Texas, Victoria College, West Brook High School; Utah: Brigham Young University,
Davis Applied Technology College, Weber State University; Vermont: Green Mountain College;
Virginia: College of William & Mary, Liberty University, Northern Virginia Community College,
Tidewater Community College; Washington: Bellevue College, EF International Language Centers,
Gonzaga University, The IDEAL School, Mount Rainier High School, North Seattle College, Peninsula
College, Seattle Central College, Seattle University, Shoreline Community College, South Puget Sound
Community College, Tacoma Community College, University of Washington, Whatcom Community
College, Wilson High School; Washington, DC: George Washington University, Georgetown
University; West Virginia: West Virginia University; Wisconsin: Beloit College, Edgewood College,
Gateway Technical College, Kenosha eSchool, Lawrence University, Marquette University, St. Norbert
College, University of Wisconsin, Waukesha County Technical College
CANADA British Columbia: Vancouver Island University, VanWest College; Nova Scotia: Acadia
University; Ontario: Centennial College, University of Guelph, York University; Quebec: Universite
du Quebec
MEXICO Baja California: Universidad de Tijuana
TURKEY Istanbul: Bilgi University, Ozyegin University

12
We live in a word of
things, and our only
connect on wth them
is that we know how
to manipulate or to
consume them.
Erich Fromm
(1900-1980)

About the Author:


Work with a partner. Read the quotation about consumerism. Then
Erich Fromm was a German
answer the questions. psychologist who studied
the relationships between
1 What kind of ''things" was the author referring to ? Do you agree that sociology, politics, and
we live in a world of things? human behavior.
2 Fromm wrote this quote in 1955. Do you believe it is more accurate
today or less accurate? Explain.
3 When did you last purchase something for another person ? What did you buy,
and what motivated you to buy it for that person?

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 13
1 PREPARE YOUR IDEAS

O Connect to Academic Writing


In this unit you will learn skills to help you write academic essays. While some of the writing
skills that you will use may be new to you, others are not. In your everyday life, you already
use many of the same skills when you tell a story about a recent trip or compare different cell
phone plans.

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will choose a writing prompt and reflect on it. You will develop these ideas
throughout the unit and use them to practice skills that are necessary to write your essay.
The writing prompt below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 20-22. After
reflecting on the topic, the student decided to focus on advantages and used a cluster diagram
to help generate and organize ideas. This helped her think of a possible thesis.

WRITING PROMPT: What are the main advantages or disadvantages of shopping online?
I
' r

Convenient - can do
it anywhere, anytime

Adva ntages of
shopping online

Easy to check prices


Can be less
and compare items from
different places
expensive?

My thesis: The main advantages are that it is convenient, easy, and can be cheaper.

1.1 Notice
Work with a partner. Choose one of the ideas in the cluster diagram. Take turns
explaining to your partner why you agree or disagree with it.

14 UNIT 1
& 1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on your topic.

A Choose a prompt:

• In order to make a profit, companies need to promote their products to consumers and
convince them to buy. What are three ways companies attract consumers?
• Shopping is sometimes jokingly called "retail therapy," and many people say that
shopping makes them feel good. Why do some people shop to feel better?
• Think about a company and/ or its products that you like, such as a shoe company or a car
company. Explain why the company appeals to you. Consider the way the company does
business, how it advertises its products, and the quality of its products.
• A topic approved by your instructor
B Work with a partner and complete the following tasks:
1 Think about your prompt. Decide what you will focus on in your essay.
2 Complete the cluster diagram below. Write down as many ideas as you can. Add more
circles if you need them.
3 Write a possible thesis statement

Possible thesis statement:

p ti r T 1 B a a a
1 p ra a a a a r a a B p a B r p
-
a s p p 'l a r r a a p p p a a p pT a a r p a a a p pa' a a pTT p a
- a p aa p p a' a a p p a a s p ra a p a a p p r a a r a f f P p a, a B P T a a p p ,p a a r p a a a a r p T a a r r a, aarra a a r i a pT a ra a p a a p p p p a p p a a a p p p 'p p v a

a a p p a a m p a a p p p a

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 15
O EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE

In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your academic essay. You
will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of academic essays.

O Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. Many are from the Academic Word List. Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

alternative (adj) commitment (n) excessive (adj) radical (adj)


coincide (v) ethical (adj) expose (v) widespread (adj)

& 2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Read the sentences. Decide the meaning of the words in bold and
circle the correct answer.
1 The new soda commercial tried to show that diet drinks are safe, alternative options to
higher calorie sodas made with natural ingredients. Alternative means
a better. b other, different.
2 When signing a new contract for a cell phone service, many consumers must make a two-
year commitment to the company's services. Commitment means
a a promise to do something. b a record of something.
3 Many companies have special sales events, such as Presidents ' Day sales, during periods that
coincide with national holidays. Coincide means
a happen at a different time. b happen at the same time.

16 UNIT 1
4 An important ethical concern for any company is treating ail employees fairly. Ethical means
a relating to what is right or wrong.
relating to financial concerns.
b

5 Many people begin shopping for Christmas gifts just after Thanksgiving, but there is a
growing movement questioning this excessive focus on gifts and little focus on religion.
Excessive means
a extreme; unnecessary. b very important.
6 Taking children on shopping trips is an opportunity to explain how to get good value for the
money they spend. This can expose them to good consumer habits. Expose means
a change someone 's mind about b offer an experience.
something.
7 The company was losing money on traditional ads, so it tried something radical. It stopped
advertising altogether. Radical means
a extreme. b small.
8 The widespread thinking that organic products are healthier choices grew out of a natural
farming and anti-pesticide campaign that has gained national attention and influence.
Widespread means
a affecting many places or people. b providing new knowledge.

O Academic Collocations
Collocations are words that are frequently used together. Research tells us that the academic
vocabulary in Part A is commonly used in the collocations in bold below.

2.2 focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Match the phrases to their meanings. Write the letters.
1 The biggest snowstorm of the year a a different way of doing
coincided with Christmas Eve, normally a something
big shopping day.
2 According to surveys, millions of Americans b promise to do
share the widespread belief that something
genetically modified foods are not healthy.
L « . .. .
1 J a ii i 1 . .
1 a ii i i 1
3 Some shoppers don't like to carry cash or c happened at the same
credit cards. An alternative approach is time
paying by mobile phone.
4 You often must make a commitment to d a feeling in many places
stay with a phone plan for two years to or among many people
avoid a fee. that something is true

5 Many people feel that excessive e buying or using too


consumption is bad for the environment much
and can also lead to debt.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 17
0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "Buy Nothing Day " uses features of academic essays to strengthen his argument.
Before you read, answer these questions: What does it mean to consume responsibly ? How do
you think the world would be different if people bought fewer things?
Now read the article. Think about your answers to the questions above as you read.

1 Some people are trying to change the


culture of consumerism in North America.
For them , the most important day in their
calendar is Buy Nothing Day. On this
day, these anti- materialists congregate in
shopping malls around the country. They
take out their credit cards and cut them up.
They wander through department stores
in single file, often walking and acting like
zombies. They push empty shopping carts
and buy nothing. For twenty- tour hours,
they make a commitment to spend no
money at all.
2 Buy Nothing Day is scheduled each year
to take place in late November so that surrounding Buy Nothing Day with the
it coincides with the beginning of the average consumer,” In the minds of the
busiest shopping period of the year in general public, there is a widespread belief
North America - the month leading up that proponents of Buy Nothing Day are
to Christmas day. The idea started in trying to “crash the system” and trying
Vancouver, Canada, in 1992 and is now to stop people from buying anything. So
“celebrated ” in more than 65 countries. Yet, Collins has made it his goal to change that
despite the relative success of the movement, perception. His goal now is to use Buy
many question whether or not it has any Nothing Day as an opportunity to expose
effect whatsoever. They wonder whether shoppers to an alternative way of thinking
it is more than just an empty gesture that about shopping. He wants consumers to be
makes those who celebrate it feel good forced to hesitate a moment and think about
about themselves, but has no effect at all on their buying habits.
shoppers’ habits.
4 Ironically, another anti -consumerism
3 One of the organizers of Buy Nothing Day, activist,2 Michael Kalmanovitch , is the
Tyler Collins of Edmonton, Canada, is owner of a general store. He has celebrated
aware that “there’s a great deal of stigma 1 every Buy Nothing Day since it started in

stigma: a strong feeling of disapproval that many peopie Activist: someone who tries to create social and political
have about something change

18 UNIT 1
1992. He judges the success ol Buy Nothing stopping people from shopping tor just one
Day by seeing how much less money he day doesn’t achieve much. It simply stops
makes in his store on that day. When he a tew welboft individuals from shopping
first marked Buy Nothing Day, he kept the for a day, alter which they will simply buy
store open. When shoppers tried to buy more on subsequent days. Laura Bercovitz,
something, he told them that there were to be who has promoted Buy Nothing Day since
no transactions on that day. He realizes now its inception and is worried about being
that this approach was counterproductive. ' misinterpreted by such critics, is therefore
It just made shoppers unsympathetic to his now promoting a radical alternative: Buy
cause because they did not enjoy being told Nothing Christmas. She wants consumers
what they could or could not buy. Now he to stop spending throughout the complete
keeps the store open, but when shoppers holiday period.
come in or want to make a purchase, he uses
6 Tyler Collins, Michael Kalmanovitch , and
it as an opportunity to raise consciousness.
Laura Bercovitz may have different strategies,
His staff tell the shoppers, “Do you know
but they have one common goal, They are
its Buy Nothing Day? Wed appreciate it if
trying to promote ethical consumption. In
you didn’t buy anything from our store or
many cases, this means buying products that
anywhere else tor that matter, but we respect are produced locally and sold in small locally
that it’s your right or your decision to do
owned stores , They want consumers to be
whatever you feel is appropriate.”
made more aware of what they are doing
5 Some activists feel that Buy Nothing Day when they are shopping. They want them
does not go far enough to discourage to ask themselves how their consumerist
excessive consumption . They think habits might be having an impact on the
environment and the world.

’counterproductive: having an eftect that is the opposite of


what you intended

2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.


1 What is Buy Nothing Day trying to change about society?
2 Why have some people proposed changes to Buy Nothing Day? What are the changes, and
which ones do you think would be most effective?
3 Do you agree with the goals of the Buy Nothing Day organizers? Why or why not?

2.4 Notice the Features of Academic Essays

Answer the questions.


1 Look at paragraph 1. Which sentences draw the reader in ?
2 Look at paragraphs 3, 4, and 5. What is the main idea of each paragraph?

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 19
3 STUDY ACADEMIC WRITING

In Section 1 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on her topic. In this section
you will analyze the final draft of her academic essay. You will learn how to structure your ideas
for your own essay.

O Student Model
Read the writing prompt again and answer the questions.
WRITING PROMPT: What are the main advantages or disadvantages of shopping online?

1 Circle the words in the prompt that you expect the writer to use in her thesis statement.
2 What are some advantages and disadvantages that you think the writer might mention?

Read the essay twice. The first time, think about your answers to the questions above.
The second time, answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes. This will help
you notice key features of academic essays.

The Benefits of Online Shopping

As of 2012, Americans were spending over $1 trillion online ( “Ecommerce 1 Analyze Writing Skills
Sales” ). Economists predict that e-commerce will increase another 62 percent Underline the sentences in
paragraph 1 that get your
by 2016 and continue growing after that. Years ago, people could only shop attention or make you
interested in this topic .
in stores near their homes or stores that they could drive to. Ordering by mail
from catalogs was also possible, but it was time-consuming. The Internet 2 Analyze Writing Skills
offered a radical shift in shopping that has forever changed consumer behavior. a What Is the writer
discussing in
While detractors ' of online shopping often point to its dangers, these risks paragraph 1 ?
Circle your answer:
are exaggerated. There are retailers who are not ethical both online and in advantages
stores. Overall, online shopping is superior to shopping in stores because it is disadvantages
both.
convenient , it offers consumers a wider range of products, and it saves money. b Circle the three main
points that the writer
2 Online shopping is clearly more convenient than in- store shopping. The will discuss to develop
first reason why online shopping is more convenient is that it takes less time her thesis.

than traditional shopping. Less time shopping means more time to do free- 3 Analyze Writing Skills
time activities and to be with friends and family. In addition, it takes less time Underline the main point
that the writer discusses
to receive merchandise, as well. Now, ordering and shipping almost coincide, in paragraph 2. Does it
because shoppers can order in a single click and send the order right to the match one of the points
you circled in paragraph 1 ?
warehouse. The number of distribution centers is growing throughout the
world. As a result, transactions are faster than ever. Amazon.com is one example
of this. As of May 2014, Amazon.com had 108 distribution centers2 and was
planning to build 14 more in the United States and another 11 outside of the
U.S. (“Amazon”). In addition , online shopping is extremely beneficial3 for senior

’ detractors: people who criticize someone or something, , often ,unfairly


distribution centers: places where products are stored packed and shipped to customers
'beneficial: having a good effect

20 UNIT 1
citizens, the disabled, and anyone who has limited mobility. One example of this 4 Analyze Writing Skills
is the worlds first Internet shopper, Jane Snowball, who ordered groceries to be Read the final sentence of
paragraph 2 and the first
delivered when she broke her hip ( Winterman and Kelly). Its easy to see that sentence of paragraph 3.
Circle the words that help
convenience is a key advantage of online shopping. the writer change from
3 Another advantage of online shopping is that it offers better product one point to another.

availability than stores do. Online retailers can keep a very large number of items 5 Analyze Writing Skills
in stock4 at all times. There is often more variety and more actual items available a Underline the main
point that the
online than in physical stores. For example, retailers such as Target and Walmart writer discusses in
carry many more items in their online stores than they do in their physical stores paragraph 3.
b How many
( Fitterman ). In addition , shoppers can buy items from anywhere in the world, supporting ideas
does the writer use to
not just things that are available in their local stores. This can expose consumers explain this subject?
to new and exotic items that they may not have in their neighborhood stores, B P P 1 1 B B P P 1 B P P

such as ethnic foods and foreign language DVDs. Online shopping also allows
consumers to know what is in stock at all times. This is because many online
retailers can show c ustomers the quantities that are available for many items.
Consumers can also sign up for email messages that tell them when items they
are looking for become available. Online shopping clearly offers shoppers a wider
range of products than traditional retailers can.
4 Finally, online shopping reduces costs. Shoppers are much less likely to 6 Analyze Writing Skills
practice excessive consumption because they are less likely to make last-minute Underline the last sentence
or unplanned purchases than they might make in a physical store. With online in paragraph 4. Does this
sentence restate the main
shopping , there are no high- pressure salespeople, so online shoppers can think point of the paragraph ?
through their purchases independently. Online retailers can also often offer
p r r

lower prices for products because they have such large quantities stored in their
distribution centers, and not just what they can stock in a physical store. Online
shoppers also save money on gas and parking because they use their cars less
when they shop at home. These conditions make online shopping less expensive
overall than in-store shopping.
'in stock: available for sale
(CONTINUED)

\z
NOW m
ACADEMIC ESSAYS 21
5 Online shopping was once an alternative approach to the retail experience , 7 Analyze Writing Skills
but today it is the most convenient, cost - effective way to shop tor a wide variety ot a Circle the sentence in
the last paragraph that
products. With these advantages, it seems very likely that economists’ predictions connects back to the
thesis.
about online shopping are correct: online shopping will undoubtedly become b Underline the sentence
even more convenient and popular in the future. that contains a
suggestion, opinion , or
Works Cited prediction .
Amazon Global Fulfillment Center Network " M WPVL International . MWPVL International, Inc . n d Web. 2 (5 May 2014,
, , ,

"
Ecommerce Sales Topped $ 1 Trillion for First Time in 2012," Emarketer Emarketer, 5 Feb - 2013 Web - 11 Nov, 2014,
, ,

Fitter man, Scott / The Ultimate Debate: Online Shopping vs. Brick and Mortar Shopping / Wired Incurvation Insights* Conde Nast
Digital 19 Dec 2013 Web , 26 May 2014,
, ,

Winterman, Denise, and fon Kelly Online Shopping: The Pensioner Who Pioneered a Home Shopping Revolution BBC News
, .

Magazine . BBC , 16 Sept 2013 Web , 11 Nov 2014,


, . ,

&
3.1 Check Your Understanding
Answer the questions.

1 According to the writer, what are the main benefits of online shopping?
2 Evaluate the writer's main points. Which do you think is the strongest? Why?
3 Have you or someone you know ever had similar experiences with
online shopping?

3.2 Outline the Writer's Ideas

Complete the outline for "The Benefits of Online Shopping" using the
phrases in the box.

consumers know what's in stock good for people with limited mobility
saves money on transportation cost reduction
more variety and items in stock takes less time to receive goods

22 UNIT 1 L J
ESSAY OUTLINE

Introduction .
I L I.

Thesis
Online shopping is superior to shopping in stores because it s convenient, it offers
,
Statement

consumers a wider range of products, and it saves money,

Body
Paragraph 1 II, Convenience .
IL I.

Supporting
Idea 1 A. Takes less time to shop J J iI I I J i i B J i ii A J i m a t iii n i m u i im i .
I I Ii i im i j im ii m u ii i nim ii m i im iim u i m u m uiL U I n u i im iim uI B I I J I B I B J II I I J II I I I I L I J I I I I J ii m IB i l l II I I J I l U I II B I I I I B J I m i ii I I I J i I B 11 i I I J I III I L I J III B i

Supporting
Idea 2
B . I lll J ll . .
l J 1 .

Supporting
Idea 3
c, J II . I. J 1 .

Body , Product availability . .


Paragraph 2
1,1.11 I I I J L I J J I I I J IB J I B J I I I I J J I I B J I II I I JII I I J aJ M U A I I U J B a B I I I IIIB J II B i l l I I B J I I I B J I I I B J I I I B J I I I B J I II, B J I I B I J I I B I I 1IB B J I I I J IIB I B II L B J I I B I J IIB I B II I B I I I B I I J II I B III B I I I I B I I II B B III B I J I II I I III B I II B I J I II IIJ J I I B I J III B III B I I I I B I J III B J I I I I

Supporting
Idea 1
A, J II . I. JJ

Supporting
Idea 2
Can buy things not available locally

Supporting
Idea 3
c. II BIL I I I B I I II I B J II B I J I I I I J II IB J II B I I I L I U I I I B I I I B J B i l lIk i l lII I I II B I B IIB I B II 111 I I I II B I J I I J B J II I I J I I B J I I I I B II I J I I B I J I 111 J IIBI I L I U I I L U II B B J II B I J I B I I J I L I UII B I II B I I J I B I B J IB B I J I B I I J Ik i l lIB B J I I B I I J IB i l lII B I J I B I I J Ik i l lIB I I J I I I I J IB I B I I I B I I B i l l II I I IB i l l I I B I J I B I B J I B I I J B I I J I B B J J I I J I J J II I I I B JIB B I J I B B I J

Body
Paragraph 3
IV, .
IB I.

Supporting
Idea 1 A, Fewer unplanned purchases IIB I I II B B I J I J II . I. JJ

Supporting 3 . Large stock =. lower prices


Idea 2
la J JI J J

Supporting
Idea 3
c, B i l l J II . I. JJ

V, Conclusion l.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 23
O Academic Essays: Essay Structure
Writers use essay structure to communicate
their ideas clearly and convincingly. There An introductory paragraph that explains the
are several types of essays that you will topic and the writer's purpose in writing. It
study in this book, including narrative, includes:
comparison and contrast, cause and effect, • a hook
problem-solution, and argumentative. • background information
Academic writers often combine elements • a thesis statement
from different types of essays, depending
Body paragraphs that develop each of the
on which type is more effective for their
writer's main points. Each body paragraph
purpose. For example, a college writing includes:
prompt may ask a writer to argue a specific
• a topic sentence
viewpoint (argumentative), and the writer
may choose to do so by comparing two • supporting sentences and details
subjects (comparison and contrast) or • a concluding sentence or transition sentence
by examining the causes or effects of an A concluding paragraph that summarizes
issue (cause and effect). the main idea of the essay and provides a final
comment. It includes:
An academic essay has three parts:
• a restatement of the main idea
• an insight, prediction, or call to action

3.3 Notice
Circle the correct answers.
l What does an introductory paragraph usually include?
a a topic sentence
b an insight, prediction, or call to action
c a thesis statement

2 In which part does the writer develop each main point of the essay?
a introductory paragraph
b body paragraphs
c concluding paragraph
3 A concluding paragraph includes the main idea of the essay.
a a restatement of
b support for
c an introduction to

24 UNIT 1
THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH
An effective introductory paragraph invites the reader into the essay with a hook, provides
context for the topic with background information, and presents the writer's point of view in a
thesis statement.
The hook is usually the first sentence in the paragraph. It makes the reader interested in
reading your essay. A hook can be:
• a surprising statistic
Online shoppers spent over $ 1 , 964 billion during Black Friday sales in 2013 .

• a provocative question
Have you ever wondered why an ad for an item you recently bought online pops up every time
you check your social media page?
• an interesting fact or statement
Some people are trying to change the culture of consumerism in North America.

• a memorable quotation
" To travel is to shop."
Background information usually consists of three to five sentences. It connects the hook to the
thesis statement and provides information the reader needs to know before beginning the essay,
including definitions of terms and ideas. Background information can be:
• a story or narrative
One rainy Saturday Jen decided to stay home and go online to buy some items she needed for
an upcoming business trip. As she clicked her way through her purchases, it never occurred to
her that ...
• historical information
Years ago, people could only shop on days when stores were open. In fact, there were days when
no one shopped at all. Sundays and holidays, for example, ...
• general to specific information
The goal of many shoppers is finding a good deal. For example, finding something inexpensive
and fashionable online gives many of us a thriii. However, do we ever stop to consider what
makes these items so inexpensive in the first place?
The thesis statement is the last sentence or two in an introductory paragraph. It presents the
main idea of the essay. A thesis statement includes:
• the topic of the essay
• what the writer wants to communicate about the topic
A thesis statement may or may not include the main points that the writer will discuss in the
body paragraphs.
• Online shopping is inferior to bricks-and- mortar shopping because you cannot interact with the
merchandise, it's more expensive, and it isn' t safe, (includes points)
• Bricks- and -mortar shopping will never disappear as it offers significant advantages over online
shopping , ( doesn't include points)
You will learn more about thesis statements in Section 4.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 25
3.4 Notice
Read the introductory paragraph of the Student Model on page 20. Answer the
questions.
1 Find the hook. What type is it?
a a surprising statistic
b a provocative question
c a memorable quotation

2 What type of background information does the Student Model use?


a a story or narrative
b historical information
c general to specific information

3.5 Notice
*
4

Find the thesis statement in the introductory paragraph of the Student Model. Answer
the questions.
l What is the topic?
r r r

2 What does the writer want to communicate about the topic?


k .
4 B k I l a b h iB 4 4 B 4 4 B 4 H B 4 Bn 4 B Bn 4 a B I 4 B B .
4 B I 4 4 4 B I .
4 k I 4 k B 4 4 k 4 4 k 4 B k I 4 B k B 4 k k I 4 k k I 4 k k I 4 k 4 k 4 4

3 Does it include the points that the writer will discuss in the body paragraphs?
! 9 P r B P

3.6 Practice Writing


Read the prompt. Then complete the introductory paragraph for an essay that responds
to the prompt. Write a hook and a thesis statement.

WRITING PROMPT: To save money and pass on the savings to consumers, many clothing
companies produce items in developing countries. Should consumers buy inexpensive clothing
made in developing countries? Why or why not?
.
a k k .
4 J k k 4 J 4 k k

HOOK

The goal of many shoppers is finding a good deal. For example, walking out of a store with a
bargain makes many of us feel victorious. However, do we ever stop to consider what makes
these items so inexpensive in the first place ? - 4 8 4 4 ..
k 1 4 k k 4 4
- .
k k 4 4
--- 4 4 4

THESIS STATEMENT
- k 4 .
k 4 4 4
- k 4 k 4
- k k 4 4
- --

26 UNIT 1
& 3.7 Practice Writing
Work in a group. Read the prompt. Then complete the introductory paragraph with
background information about the topic.
WRITING PROMPT: Many companies practice planned obsolescence - intentionally producing
consumer goods that rapidly deteriorate or become out of date and require replacing. What are
the main advantages or disadvantages of planned obsolescence?
Have you ever wondered why you need to buy a new cell phone every two years or constantly
purchase expensive ink cartridges for your printer?
BACKGROUND INFORMATION
h i i J i <i i .1 a

- ..
& i
-
I 4 .
4 4 4 .
ft 4 A .- - . - -
4 ft I 4 1 4 4 4
- .
I 4 ft 4 ft 4 4 .
I .
b 1 4
- . . -.ft ft 4 ft l 4 .
ft 4 4 Si I .
ft ft
- b l . - -
fi 4 a s
--- 4 4
- . ..
4 4 4
-. ft 4 4
- -
b 4 4
-

Planned obsolescence may help companies increase their profits, but it leads to excessive
consumption, it's bad for the environment, and it contributes to a negative corporate image.

& 3.8 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1 on page 15. Choose a type
of hook and a type of background information that you could use in an introductory
paragraph for an essay on this topic. Write your ideas below. You can change these later.
This is for practice.
Hook type:
Type of background information: - 4 4
- 4 b 4 4 4 4 b 4 ..
ft 4 .
ft 4: b 4 b .
b 4 4 4 b b 4 4 E b 1 4 4 b b 4 4 4 b b 4 . -
4 b b 4 4 .
b b 4 4 4 .
b I 4 4 4 b 4 4 4
— b I 4 4 b bI 4
— 4 .
b 4
— 4
-. ft 4 4
-- .
I 4 4
-
BODY PARAGRAPHS
Body paragraphs present the main points of an essay. Each body paragraph logically and
thoroughly explains, describes, or argues one aspect of the thesis statement.
A body paragraph includes:
• a topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph. A good topic sentence clearly
connects to the thesis by reusing or paraphrasing key words.
Thesis statement: People who buy merchandise online tend to fit into three different types.
Topic sentence: One type of online shopper is the researcher.
• supporting sentences that give specific information about the topic sentence. They
give information such as facts, examples, explanations, and reasons. Details are extra
explanations, examples, and facts.
| TOPIC SENTENCE EXPLANATION

One type of online shopper is the researcher. A researcher does a thorough search of a
jj EXAMPLE 1
product before buying it. For example, before buying a product, a researcher finds out all the
,

possible places to buy the product and how much it costs at various online retailers.
j DETAIL THAT GIVES ANOTHER EXAMPLE j
A researcher might even read product reviews or use online product comparison features.

• a concluding sentence that ties all the ideas in the paragraph together. Writers signal the
conclusion with a word or phrase such as dearly, for these reasons, therefore, and in brief.
Online shopping clearly offers shoppers a wider range of products than traditional retailers can.
Below are some ways that writers can order body paragraphs within an essay:
• Use chronological order when the essay describes events or steps.
• Start with the strongest or most important idea.
• Start with the idea that is most familiar to the audience.

j * 3.9 Notice
Look at the first body paragraph (paragraph 2) of the Student Model on pages 20-22
and answer the questions.
i What main point of the thesis does this paragraph describe ?

2 What key word or phrase connects the topic sentence and the thesis statement?

3 Which supporting sentence gives an example?


r ri n i i r ti
-
i i n r n i i m i i i i I I n i r rn m

4 Which supporting sentence gives a fact?


.
j 1 4 m m .. . ...
1 m

5 Which supporting sentence gives a reason?

28 UNIT 1
6 Which of the sentences is also a detail sentence?
a B e r r i i B P T i B B f i i p p r r T f P P Pi P a * a

7 What key word or phrase in the paragraph signals the conclusion ?


U L J J .
B I J J I L I J I L j a i L i .J J L I I J .
i i J J .
L .i j a i l .a. J J i a i B J I I I a a i B j j i J I I I J J L j a B B J L I, I J j L I I J a L I J J B I J 2 .
L I I J E L I. I J f l L I I J B L

3.10 Practice
Work with a partner. Read the thesis statement. Think about the underlined main point
in the thesis. Write a topic sentence, two supporting sentences, two detail sentences, and
a concluding sentence fora body paragraph on this point.

Thesis statement: Consumerism is good for the economy because it helps keep existing
companies in business, creates new jobs, and leads to the development of new products.
Topic sentence: i j a B L i .i a i i i a a L i . < i a d ..
B i 1 J i a i k k i a a h k aa J i a k B i i a k i i a a k i> i i a a fa k B a S fa I: i a a B k i i a a h k i a a k k J a

Supporting sentence 1: a a a a k a a i k i a a i k i i a k k a a k B k B k k a B k B k a

Detail sentence:

Supporting sentence 2: . i i i r r i i i i r 'i B B i i i a a n 'B i i i i i a u a i I I n I I a I I i i r i g a r a a g a r n i n a r

Detail sentence: j a k L a a i L i J J k L I d a I L i a a k i . i j a B i L i j a k I L L a E L a E L 11 E L a E L J J B L i a a i, I I
_ k

Concluding sentence: a ++
- «
a! + - k .«. m a a p p p a p* T T

3.1 1 Apply it to Your Writing


Look at the thesis statement you created in Section 1 on page 15 for your writing
prompt. Write a topic sentence for one body paragraph. Write two supporting sentences
and a concluding sentence. You can change these later. This is for practice.
r T i i r r i i i r r i r rT I r r 'i i r i ' ii P 'T 7 r T1 1 P I T 1 a a ii

a a f a i. i a u k i a a a. a a a a a k i .. a B k .a
i a a k k i a a a .a
i a a .a a
i k k a. a a k k a. a a k a B k k i a B k k i a B k i i. a a a

i P P
- p a i e p Ti a P p !i g B p ri a P rra a e pT
-
ra a a P P
-
ra a p p
-
a a a P ir aa a r ra
- a p p a a a rv a a a r
1 3
a p B’ a a p p ' a a p = B a a ra a
- a a a a a ra a a a ra a a
-
rva a r ra a a r ra a a r ra a a a ra a P P a a p r °r a a P r i a a »
B r a a p a a a a r s a a a i a a p p s a a p p i a a p p

•i .
I I I I L i j i i l l j L ,i jj i i j a m .
i i j a a a j j j j i a L J J L L I J I, J I B U J I L B .
J I L I I J I L1 .

CONNECTING IDEAS BETWEEN BODY PARAGRAPHS


Writers choose appropriate words and expressions to connect ideas within an essay. These
words remind readers how ideas in body paragraphs connect to the thesis statement. They also
show how each body paragraph connects to the one before and the one after. For example, the
topic sentence of the first body paragraph in an essay repeats or paraphrases one of the ideas
in the thesis statement. The final sentence in this body paragraph also repeats or paraphrases
one of the ideas in the thesis, while at the same time reminding the reader of the topic of the
paragraph. The topic sentence of the next body paragraph reminds the reader of the topic of
the previous body paragraph, and at the same time, repeats or paraphrases another idea in the
thesis statement. This continues throughout the body paragraphs in the essay.
Writers also use words and phrases such as also, another, in addition, and finally to help readers
transition smoothly from one paragraph to another.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 29
• Beginning of Student Model body paragraph 1: Online shopping is clearly more convenient
than in-store shopping.
Notice that "Online shopping is clearly more convenient" reminds the reader of one of the
ideas in the thesis statement.

• End of Student Model body paragraph 1: It's easy to see that convenience is a key advantage
of online shopping.
Notice how this sentence paraphrases one of the ideas in the thesis statement ("convenience")
and also reminds the reader of the main idea of the paragraph.

• Beginning of Student Model body paragraph 2: Another advantage of online shopping is that
it offers better product availability than stores do.
Notice that this sentence reminds the reader of the second idea in the thesis statement. Notice
also that the word another te\\ s the reader that this paragraph will add an additional idea to the
one in the previous body paragraph.

3.12 Practice
Work with a partner. Read the thesis statement from an essay on ways retailers can
attract local customers. Follow the steps in the numbered list to complete each body
paragraph. Use the words and phrases from the box where appropriate.

also finally in addition another (way) first of all one (of the ways)

Thesis statement: Some of the ways that retailers can attract potential customers in the areas
where they do business include giving back to the community, hiring local residents, and
carrying merchandise that appeals to the local market.
For each body paragraph, do the following:
1 Write a topic sentence that repeats or paraphrases a point in the thesis statement. Follow the
order in the thesis statement.
2 Write one example that explains the topic of this paragraph.
3 Write a second example that explains the topic of this paragraph.
4 Write a final sentence for this paragraph that repeats or paraphrases the supporting idea in
the thesis and reminds the reader what the paragraph is about.
Body paragraph 1
i '1 a a E l a i a i ra a E r ra a r r

Giving back means helping people in the community who can benefit from what a large
company can offer. A typical large company, for example, 2 e r i e E r i a B r il r a a r B' B 1 a l

Companies can also 3 i i r r i p r pT i P r p p i p p i a B t i i a


- r i i a
- i i B r r fl

Clearly, there are many ways a large retailer 4 l a r p'i i a p p i i i PT1 1 P P1 1 B P I '1 P 1 1 I a a 11

Body paragraph 2
1 a a p
-
a a a p p
- -
a a s p r a a a p p a a a p p a a
- p p a a p a a p a a a
1 p r a P P a a
- a p a a
- p 'p a a
- p

When local residents work for large retailers in their community, they become loyal to the

30 UNIT 1
company and its products. For example, when people work for a company in their community,
they 2 i PI
People also
3 I n FI a n r i r i i i [i 1 1 1! These reasons
show 4 i n ii i a i i . i B I B I B 1' I I I 1 B If r 4

Body paragraph 3
i i
-- « i i d
- k i i d d J .
ii k k . In J. ..
1

Carrying merchandise that is targeted at the local market shows members of a community that
the company knows who they are and what their needs are. For example, 2 m d

J
--.
I i J a E k k d d
_ k i a a d k .
a i d d k m .
k 4 d a .
k i d d a k II J . . k k i s d . k i j . d d k k .
i d d k k k m k k 1 d d . - k i d d d k k d d a .
k k d d a a k d . d d B k k .
d d d k k k d d k k k l d d k k l d d d k k d d d k k c l d d k k k d d d k k k d d k . Also, 3 I d d k .
k k d d d k k d d . - d d k k .
l d d d k l d d d d .
l n l d d

.
k d d d * k i d d d k k I: d k k k d d d k k k d d k k k I d d k k k d d d k k .
d d d d k k k d d d k k l d d d k k d d d B k k k . For these reasons, 4
.. .
k d d d k k i d d k k d d d k k i d f i k k i d & k k d d k k k d d k .
i d d . k .
i d d k k i d d k k i d k k k d k . m
k i i

THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH


The concluding paragraph is the final paragraph in an essay. It tells the reader that the essay is
finished by restating the main ideas of the essay and makes a final comment.
The concluding paragraph includes, usually in this order:
• a restatement of the main idea, which often begins with a transition word or phrase. This
part of the conclusion paraphrases the thesis statement of the essay.
Online shopping was once an alternative approach to the retail experience, but today it is the
most convenient, cost- effective way to shop for a wide variety of products.
• a final comment that leaves the reader with something to think about. This can be a
suggestion, an opinion, or a prediction.
With these advantages, it seems very likely that economists' predictions about online shopping are
correct: online shopping will undoubtedly become even more convenient and popular in the future.

,c
^ 3.13 Practice
Read the following concluding paragraph. Write the final comment.
In conclusion, when a company operates in an ethical way, it increases profits, increases
opportunities to trade with other countries and cultures, and ensures employee satisfaction and
productivity.

3.14 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1 on page 15. Use the space
below to write two or three possible final comments for your concluding paragraph.
r P! i P Pi p p i i r r r A r i p i p i
* * P P i p p p i p p p P P! r s p 1
* *

k k B k I

11 1

1 I I I 1 E FI FI FI FI I E I d I I II B I I I B B I I I B I I I B Ii I I I B I* I I B I E I I B I

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 31
4 SHARPEN YOUR SKILLS

In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

O Writing Skill: Thesis Statements


An academic essay always includes a thesis statement that introduces the topic of the essay and
the idea or point of view that the writer has about the topic. A thesis statement is a topic plus a
point of view.
TOPIC IDEA /POINT OF VIEW
Online shoeing is superior to shopping in stores because it is convenient, it offers consumers a
wider range of products, and it saves money .
Key words in the prompt help the writer develop a point of view. Read the prompt below:
STUDENT MODEL WRITING PROMPT: What are the main advantages or disadvantages of
shopping online ?
The topic is “shopping online." The key words advantages and disadvantages help the writer
decide on a point of view. Other key words in writing prompts that can help a writer develop
a point of view might include discuss differences / simiiarities, explain causes / effects, or argue for /
against.
Thesis statements often tell the reader the specific points that will be developed in the body
paragraphs. Some thesis statements are more general and do not state the points that will be
developed in the body paragraphs, but it is clear to the reader what the points could be.
WRITING PROMPT: What are the benefits of shopping in large chain stores?
Stated points: Shopping in large chain stores is superior to shopping in smaller local stores because
the choice of products is greater, product uniformity is more reliable, and prices are lower.
More general: Shopping in large chain stores offers consumers many benefits.
Effective thesis statements:

• are clear and focused.


Effective: Buying locally produced products is good for the environment, improves the local
economy, and enhances the shopping experience. (The topic and point of view are clear and
focused.)
Not effective: Shopping at some large retailers can be a bad idea. (The topic is vague and the
writer's point of view is unfocused.)
• are debatable.
Effective: Shopping in-store is superior to shopping online for three important reasons.
(Debatable; you can argue for or against the superiority of something.)
Not effective: The Internet allows you to buy goods from all over the world. (This is a statement
of fact. It's not debatable.)

32 UNIT 1
. helpreaders understand how the writer will organize his or her ideas and get readers
engaged in the topic.
Effective: Signal Hill Mall should not be torn down for three reasons: it provides local residents
with necessary goods and services, it offers many employment opportunities, and it gives families
a safe and convenient place to spend free time. (This is specific. You can see how the writer will
organize ideas.)
Not effective: Shopping is a lot easier nowadays. (This is too general because it does not
indicate how he or she will organize them.)
Some things are NOT thesis statements:

• A question: What are the benefits of online shopping?


• A topic that is too vague or broad: The Internet has changed us.
• A simple statement of fact: Many people shop online.
• A statement that tells what you will talk about: / am going to discuss online shopping.

4.1 Choose a Thesis


A Read the prompts and the possible thesis statements. For each prompt, check (/ ) the
most effective thesis statement.

WRITING PROMPT 1: Many people complain about Internet ads. Should they be banned,
or do they serve a purpose ?

1 7 ! 11
a Internet ads are everywhere: on news sites, on shopping sites, and on your favorite
social media sites.
B a d i i i

b internet ads are good for businesses because they are the best way to target
consumers, they allow popular websites to be free of charge, and they are
inexpensive.
- G a a a a a

- -. - a a m
c Internet advertising should be banned for many reasons.
“ " a
Z Zi Z J J

d Internet ads provide a way for websites and online retailers to increase their revenues.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 33
WRITING PROMPT 2: Many people consider impulse buying - buying things without
planning to - a bad habit. However, companies intentionally market products to attract
impulse buyers. What motivates us to buy things impulsively ? Explain your answer.
!i 1 1 1
a Many people buy things impulsively, and companies market products intentionally to
attract impulse shoppers.
b Impulse buying is a bad habit because it leads to excessive consumption, it causes
debt, and it's bad for the environment.
^ "

^ 111 1 1 9
c There are three main causes of impulse buying: poor self-esteem, a culture of
consumerism, and clever marketing practices.
a i a J i

d There are several things that lead to impulse buying.

B Work with a partner. Explain why the thesis statements you chose in A are effective.
Then explain why the others are not effective.

& 4.2 Rewriting Thesis Statements


Choose two of the ineffective thesis statements in Activity 4.1 and rewrite them on
a separate sheet of paper to make them more effective. Refer to the information on
pages 32-33.

& 4.3 Apply It to Your Writing


Look at the thesis statement you created in Section 1 on page 15 for your writing
prompt. Revise it and make it stronger. Use the information you learned about writing
effective thesis statements to help you. Then compare your thesis to a partner's. Identify
the topic and point of view.
h k J B a L I J B i .
I J B B I I . fa I J B f a B I J B f a l i l B a f a i j a fa L i j a fa i fa fa k i fa fa .
i i fa fa fa i . .
i fa fa fa i i fa fa .i i fa fa .
a a i

a B r T i B r T i a P r T a a p r -
l I S
" f s r r 'll a r * B r r i i B r r i B r i i a a a a B P r T P r ra a B r

.
» B i fa .
t in i fa fa L i .i, fa .
i, i a fa a fa i.i fa a f a I: .. . .. .
IfaBfalnlfafafal 1 fa B fa I fa fa B fa 1 1 fa B fa I a f a f a i .
.i f a f a i 1 a a fa . .
fa fa B I I J fa fa I I J a fa . . . .
I IfaBfal IfaBfal I f a B B I f a f a B f a l f a f a f a f a l l f a f a k l f a f a B G I . fa .
fa fa I I fa fa L I 1 fa fa I .I J . .
fa fa I I J fa fa I I J fa b I i fa a k i i fa a fa .
i i fa a fa i I fa fa fa I fa fa fa

r T1 s P T1 P P a P a
- p p a
- a
- p p a
- a
- p p r a P a3 p a a P a a a
1 p a' a P a a
1 p pa a p a* a a P P a a a p a a
- p i1 a
-- p p p p a p a a p p a p p a p a a p p a p a a p a a p p a a
- p

34 UNIT 1
O Grammar for Writing: Gerunds and Infinitives
Writers use gerunds and infinitives to connect ideas between sentences and allow for more
sentence variety.

GERUNDS AND INFINITIVES


1 A gerund is the ing form of a verb SUBJECT
that functions as a noun. Buying nothing is one way in which some activists
It can appear as a subject or as an protest the consumer culture in North America.
object of a verb or preposition. As a While online shopping can be dangerous, that does
subject, it takes the singular form of OBJECT
the verb. not mean consumers should avoid buying online.
2 Some verbs can be followed only Some consumers gvojd purchasing clothing online
by a gerund. These verbs include because it might not fit
avoid, consider, delay, discuss, enjoy,
Smart credit card users insist on paying their
finish, propose, and suggest These
balances in full each month.
verbs also include verb + preposition
combinations such as believe in, be
interested in, be responsible for, care
for, insist on, and worry about.
3 Gerunds are often used in noun + One disadvantage of shopping online is the
of patterns. These noun + of possibility of ID theft.
combinations include benefit of, cost
The idea of buying something that you cannot pay
of, (dis )advantage of, effect of, idea
for is far too common in modern society.
of, problem of, and process of.
4 An infinitive is the to + base form of SUBJECT
a verb. To spend a lot of money with credit cards is a poor
It can appear as the subject of a financial choice.
sentence or as the object of a verb. OBJECT
As a subject, it takes the singular Some people are trying to change the culture of
form of the verb. consumerism in North America.
5 Some verbs can be followed only by Shopping search engines help people find good
an infinitive. These verbs include prices for things they want to purchase.
agree, choose, decide, expect, fail,
need, plan, seem, tend, and want
6 Some nouns are often followed by Most retailers think holidays are the best time to get
infinitives. These nouns include people into the stores.
ability, chance, decision, method, An allowance gives children the chance to learn
opportunity, time, and way.
good spending habits.
7 Both gerunds and infinitives The consumers did not enjoy being told what they
can be passive. Use being + past could or could not buy.
participle or to be + past participle. Many people do not want to be exposed to ads
while surfing the Internet.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 35
#Sr 4.4 Choosing the Right Form
Complete each sentence with the correct gerund or infinitive form of the verb in
parentheses.
1 Many shoppers cannot avoid a m u n i i .a a
i i n I I J i a (buy) something during Buy
Nothing Day.
2 Although Internet shopping has many advantages for consumers, not everyone wants
i k .
a a a k (spend) a lot of their money at online retailers.
a a - a a k .
a a a k k a a a .a
k i a k .
a a a k

3 Some experts believe in (teach) consumer awareness to children a a k

at an early age.
4 Some people nowadays choose (pay) for their purchases with
cash instead of credit cards in order to avoid debt.
5 The idea of (tell) investors bad news about a company is
unpleasant, but it is part of a CEO's job.
6 For the disabled, online grocery stores and pharmacies provide a convenient way
(purchase) necessary items. i iT

7 Many people enjoy (go) to local markets because the k j .


k k J J. J .
k d .
k .1 J k k J
- b L k J k k J k

shopkeepers know them and they get fresher products.


8 Some consumers are interested in i n (buy) only products that are
made locally.
9 Paying with cash is one of the best methods m 1r
* * * * + * -. r ? i i . (get) out of debt,
. ..

according to some financial experts.


io A benefit of ii i J il I (grow up) in a poor family is that you know how to
survive in difficult financial times.

36 UNIT 1
4.5 Choosing the Right Form
Complete the paragraph with the correct passive gerund or infinitive form of the verb
in parentheses.

The CEO of a small shoe company received an email from a graduate student who was
doing a study on ethical businesses. The student wrote: 'Your company has a reputation for J

treating its employees fairly. Would you consider T 7 i p r i i r r « 7 s p p «


- p r I I P r v i H p r a a p i a r T a a r T V a i r T I P P i a P (include) in a
0)
survey on ethical business practices?" To conduct the survey, the student said, all employees
needed a i l . a .
i J (interview). The employees would be asked many questions
(2)
about the CEO's behavior, she added. The CEO agreed p r i m P P a a P P (evaluate)
O)
by her employees. In fact, she saw the survey as an opportunity h I m m m

(4)
better j i (inform) about what her employees were thinking. She was
also interested in i i r t i i i r r i i r 1 a B T •B P P l a p i a p p a a p T a P p a a P B’ i a p p B a .... (expose) to any new ideas that might result from
(5)
the study. When she read the results of the survey, the CEO was shocked. Many employees
described situations in which they felt the CEO had not acted fairly. She called a meeting to
discuss the survey. She promised to listen to all of the employees' complaints and to change
her behavior. She announced, "We need .
h i d h .
( (see) by our customers as
(6)
a company with the highest ethical standards, and I promise to do everything I can to reach
this goal."

lu

V
.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 37
Avoiding Common Mistakes ( •)
Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using
gerunds and infinitives in academic writing.

1 Always use a singular verb with a gerund subject.


helps
Talking to consumers helpA make them more interested in buying a product .
2 Do not use infinitives after verbs that require gerunds.
being
Some people avoid to be flooded with online advertising by changing their browser
preferences.
3 Do not use gerunds after verbs that require infinitives.
to find
People who shop at farmers' markets often expect finding a wider variety of local produce.

&
& 4.6 Editing Task
Find and correct five more mistakes in the following paragraph.
gives
Email advertising from retail stores give customers access to great deals, but is it effective ?
Studies show that filling people's in-boxes with more and more advertising force them to
think about the company, but does not always convince them to shop. Many companies
think that customers will want buying things when they receive these messages, and that is
good enough for them. However, a recent poll showed that consumers choose to delete these
messages 65 percent of the time. The same poll showed that people fail to take advantage of
the advertised deals 61 percent of the time. Studies also show that consumers tend removing
themselves from mailing lists after deleting advertising messages for more than three months.
As a result, some companies are considering to change the way they practice email advertising.
Many of these companies are discussing to use text messaging and social media as alternatives
to email marketing. Clearly, email advertising may not be working well enough for some

companies to continue using it.

38 UNIT 1
Q Avoiding Plagiarism
Plagiarism is a serious problem at colleges and universities, but you can
learn ways to avoid this problem.

On the first day of class, my teacher asked me to sign an


academic integrity pledge. There was a section on plagiarism.
It said that students can be punished if they use other people's
ideas and do not acknowledge their sources. What does all of
this mean ? - June

Dear June,
An academic integrity pledge is a kind of contract with your school. When you sign the
contract, you are saying that you will be honest in your studies. This may be different in
another culture, but in North America "being honest" means you won't:
• cheat on exams (including take-home tests);
• have someone else write your papers for you;
• plagiarize, or copy other people's exact words or ideas (including DVDs, CD- ROMs, film,
music, and radio);
• forget to cite, or identify, your sources.
Yours truly,
Professor Wright

CITING SOURCES TO AVOID PLAGIARISM


Plagiarism is copying other people's words or ideas without giving them credit. Let's look at
how you can avoid plagiarizing by citing sources. There are different styles for citing sources, in
this book, we use MLA (Modern Language Association) style, but ask your instructor which style
you should use.
Within your essay:
• Paraphrase the original writer's ideas and words. In parentheses, write the page number
where you found the information.
According to Michael Norton and Katherine Dunn, if you spend money on others, it will bring
more happiness ( 15 ).

• Use quotation marks when you use the original writer's exact words. Again, write the page
number where you found the information.
Michael Norton and Katherine Dunn report that giving money to others " reliably makes them
happier than spending that same money on themselves" ( 15 ).

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 39
Always list all of your sources at the end of the essay. Follow the formats below, paying special
attention to the punctuation.

• For printed books, write: Author's last name, First name. Title of Book . City: Publisher, Year of
publication. Medium. (You can often find this information on the first page of the book.)
Underhill, Paco. Why We Buy: The Science of Shopping. New York: Simon, 2000. Print.

• For online news articles, write: Author's last name, First name. "Article Title." Name of
Newspaper or Site. Publisher of site, Date of article. Web. Date you got the article.
Richtel, Matt. "There's Power in All Those User Reviews." New York Times. New York Times,
7 Dec. 201 3. Web. 31 Mar. 2014.

• For online government reports when no author is listed, write: Country. Government
agency. Title of Report. Date of report. Web. Date you got the report.
United States. Federal Trade Commission. Bureau of Consumer Protection. Recent FTC Cases
Resulting in Refunds. Feb. 2014. Web. 28 Feb. 2014.

4.7 Practice
Circle the correct citation form.
1 Author: a Wilson, Jim. b Jim Wilson,
2 Publisher: a Java, 2013, Seattle. b Seattle: Java, 201 3.
3 News article: a "New Colors in the New Year" b New Colors in the New Year

4.8 Practice
Use the information to write a citation for the book below.
Steven Levitt (author) Freakonomics (book title) 2006 (year of publication)
Morrow (publisher) New York (location of publication) Print

4.9 Writing Citations


Read the information about a source that was used for a paper. Work with a partner.
Write a correct citation.
You read an article called "Why Clearance Sales Are Psychologically 'Irresistable'" in Psychology
Today. You found it on the Internet. On the Web, the date is January 1 7, 201 3. The publisher of
the site is Psychology Today. You found it on March 30, 2014. The author is Kit Yarrow.

Bit A
40 UNIT 1 I
H
5 WRITE YOUR ESSAY

In this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

STEP 1: BRAINSTORM
Work with a partner. Follow the steps below to brainstorm more ideas.
i Before you start, notice how the writer of the Student Model brainstormed. She wrote many
ideas but did not use all of them in her essay. Cross out the ideas that were not used.

WRITING PROMPT: What are the main advantages or disadvantages of shopping online?

Healthier -
Better for
better for
environment -
Fun! shoppers, less less pollution
stress

Convenient - can
do it anywhere, More products
anytime available; you
have the whole
wo rid

Shopping
online
Easy to check
prices and
compare items Less expensive '-
from different save money on gas,
\ places A v parking /

Can do even Large


if disabled or warehouses =
cannot drive more products
online than in
stores

You know what’s


available before
you try to buy Less likely to buy Takes less time
things you don’t (to shop and to
need get stuff)

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 41
2 Write the ideas that you wrote in Section 1, page 15, in the cluster diagram below. Include
ideas from the Your Turns throughout the unit Brainstorm more ideas.

When you are finished, circle the three strongest points that support your thesis and write
them here.
1 fa fa b m b b b » b b4 i 4 4 a 4 4 fi 4 +* - 4 4 b i

3 4 a fa 4 a b a b a a 4 a b b b b b b b a b fa b b b b fa fa fa a a

Now, circle the best supporting information for each point.


STEP 2: DO RESEARCH: DEVELOPING KEYWORDS FOR AN INTERNET SEARCH
Using the Internet for research is convenient, but it can be challenging because there is so
much information. To search for the information you need, use keywords about the topic from
your writing prompt.
Alex needed to find information from the Internet for this prompt: The Internet has
changed the shopping habits of consumers over the past two decades. What are the
advantages or disadvantages of online shopping? Read and find out how he did it.

First, I identified the content keywords from the prompt. Then, I brainstormed
alternative keywords - like synonyms or phrases - for each content word.
Next, I typed logical combinations of my keywords into a search engine to
find the best information for my paper. Last, ! wrote down the title and web
address of my results so that I could go back to them later.

Alex's Results

Content Alternative Search Results


Keywords Keywords
advantages pros, benefits The Pros & Cons of a Retail Store vs. an Online
Store (http:// smallbusiness.chron.com /)

disadvantages cons,. problems Citizens Advice - Buying by Internet, mail order,


issues or phone (http: // www.adviceguide.org.uk /)

online shopping Internet buying, What’s wrong with online shopping - TIME.com
store (http://business.time.com /)

5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


On a separate sheet of paper, follow the steps Alex took to find the best
information for your essay. Write the content keywords, alternative keywords,
and search results in a chart.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 43
STEP 3: MAKE AN OUTUNE
Making an outline helps you organize your ideas. Complete the outline below with your ideas
from the previous steps.

ESSAY OUTLINE

Introduction

Thesis
Statement

Body
Paragraph 1

Supporting A mm I

Idea 1

Detail 11 .
i I kd ii haa I mm i a a i LriJ i i

Supporting & kad i i

Idea 2

Detail 1,

Body _
. i a.k a d i k i s J B k k B d i.
i k a j B .
ik u . .k i d a a
a ikkd a akkd B I aa ..
- d a a kid . .
a a a da a kkdd a kkdd a hka a a kkdd a kkdd a kiad .
a a kdd a ikdd a a kid a a.k d d a a.k d d a a kid a a a d d a a k d d a a a.d d i a aid .a d d a k d d
a aa
- . .
a a a aadd a k i d J a k k d d a k k s d a a s a j aa .d a a k k d a a k k d a a k k d a a k k d a a k
k ,
_ d aa kkdd a kkdd a kkdd a kkdd a kkdd . . .
a kkdd a kkdd a kkdd a a kdd a kkdd a kkdd a a kdd a akdd a a

Paragraph 2

Supporting A kkdd a

Idea 1

Detail 1,

Supporting 3.
Idea 2

Detail II a kkdd a kdd akdd a a id .k k d a


aa d akdd a i: a kkd

Body \Y,
Paragraph 3

Supporting A
Idea 1

Detail II a kkdd a kdd akkd a a kkd a d akkd a i: a kkd

44 UNIT I
1
A
A \
k
Supporting iFPM i PPII p"« i P P Ii I P

idea 2

Detail 1 .
.
V Conclusion fPIH rpm PPRBB IPPSIIPPPI
- -
PPII ppm PPPB IPPBSI PPPII PPPBI PPPBI PPPH PPPB I PPPI IPPSIIPPPI PPII ppmIPPPI PPPB1 PPPS1IPPP1 PP 11 PPPB1PPPS1 PPP1 IPPP1IPPP1PPPB1 PPPil rrPBI P P P B1 ITPS1IPPP1IPPI1 prill IPPP1PPBB1 PPP 11IPPP1prill PPPII PPPI1P P B B1 PPP 11IPPP1PPPB1 PPPS1PP1
I 1PPPI1PPP11IPPP1I PPH IPPII IPPP1I PPP1

Ideas for Final ir

Statement

STEP 4: WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT

Now It is time to write your first draft. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.
1 Reread your writing prompt and your outline to make sure that your ideas answer the
prompt.
2 Focus on making your ideas as clear as possible.
3 Look back at the Your Turns in the unit and see if you can use them in your first draft.
4 Try to include a reference to one source.
5 just write! Focus on making your ideas as clear as possible.
6 Remember to add a title.

After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors.
i Make sure your thesis statement tells readers what the topic of your essay is and your idea
about that topic.
2 Make sure ali of your main points support your thesis.
3 Make sure that the essay follows this structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and
conclusion.
4 Make sure your introduction has all the necessary parts: hook, background information,
thesis.
5 Check that you have used gerunds and infinitives correctly.

ACADEMIC ESSAYS 45
STEP 5: WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT
l After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.
2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Academic Collocations from this unit. Are there any
that you can add to your essay ?
4 Turn to page 270 and use the Self -Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.

46 UNIT 1
' No matter by what
various crafts we came
we are all now in
the same boat
Calvin Coolidge
(1872-1933 )

Work with a partner. Read the quotation about immigration.


Then answer the questions.
1 What does the idiom "in the same boat" mean? In what ways are you
and your classmates in the same boat?
2 In what ways are all immigrants in the same boat when they first arrive in a new country?
3 Why do people immigrate to another country? With your partner, make a list of three or more
reasons.

47
O Connect to Academic Writing
In this unit you will learn skills to help you present your ideas in a narrative essay. While some of
the writing skills may be new to you, the skill of telling stories is not new. In your everyday life
you use the skill of telling stories in order to explain to your manager why it was not your fault
that you arrived late to your job, or to retell the plot of a movie you recently saw and explain
why it was better than the book version.

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will choose a writing prompt and reflect on it. You will develop these ideas
throughout the unit and use them to practice skills that are necessary to write your essay.
The writing prompt below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 54-56. The student
reflected on his topic and used a chart to help him remember specific events and details that
made each event clear in his mind. This helped him think of a possible thesis.
&
r WRITING PROMPT: Choose a significant event in your life that resulted in a change in your
view of the world or taught you a lesson.

What happened? Feelings and descriptive details

grandparents said we when I was 13 upset, didn’t want to leave my friends


were moving to the U.S.
from Mexico

arrived in the U.S. and a few months felt awful, couldn’t speak English,
started school later didn't fit in at school

things got worse at start of school embarrassed at school, hated it when


school and at home my grandparents came to school and
spoke Spanish, felt lonely

finally my grades improved


and I had friends !
before end of
school year
.
working hard at school feeling more
comfortable, didn t feel so lonely
'

My thesis: My experience of moving to the United States taught me how to adjust to a new culture.

1.1 Notice
Work with a partner. Read the events in the chart above and answer the questions.
1 Do the events have a clear beginning, middle, and end?
2 Do you think this will be an interesting story? What will the writer have to develop?
1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on your topic.

A Choose a prompt:

• Tell the story of an immigrant who moved to a new country and how he or she felt about
that experience.
• When people make changes in their lives, such as moving to a new country or a new
town or school, they often are faced with challenges. Think about a time in your life or
the life of someone you know that was challenging. Write a story that describes how the
challenge was faced.
• Tell the story of a family of immigrants and describe one influential event in their
adjustment to a new culture.
• A topic approved by your instructor

B Work with a partner and complete the following tasks:


1. Think about your prompt. Decide what you will focus on in your essay.
2. Complete the chart below. Think of everything you know about the story that you want to
tell. Add more rows if you need them.
3. Write a possible thesis statement.

What happened? Feelings and descriptive details

Possible thesis statement:


H II I FI H I II U

-,. A- C
n yp

M i1 HJ m

.
b

Jk la J
In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your narrative essay. You
will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of narration.

Q Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. Many are from the Academic Word List. Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

adjust (v) anticipate (v) image (n) security (n)


ambition (n) complexity (n) initially (adv) stressful (adj)

& 2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Match the words to their meanings. Write the letters.
A
1 Initially, the first European immigrants to America were a making you feel
from England. They came before anyone else did. worried and nervous
2 When some immigrants arrive in a new place, they are b at the beginning
surprised because they did not anticipate how different
things would be.
3 Early immigrants to America were not used to the c to imagine or expect
weather and the difficulties of farming in the new land, that something will
so they had to adjust quickly in order to survive. happen
4 Immigrating can be stressful. Getting used to a new d to become more
life is hard, and immigrants sometimes wonder if familiar with a new
they've made a mistake. situation

B
1 Craig Ferguson worked hard to become a well-known the quality of
comedian in Scotland, but his main ambition was to having many parts
be a successful entertainer in the United States.
2 When he arrived in Hollywood, he was surprised by b a strong desire for
how different it looked from the image that he saw in success
his mind. He had not realized how big it would be.
i i sr * i sr 3 He was surprised by the complexity of the c a picture, an idea
entertainment industry in America. It was huge and of what something
difficult to understand. is like
i n E r i n E r 4 When he was eventually hired to be a character on the d a feeling of being
TV show The Drew Carey Show, he finally felt a sense of protected
job security.
O Academic Phrases (•)
Research tells us that the phrases in bold below are commonly used in academic writing.

2.2 Focus on Purpose

Read the paragraph. Then match the phrases in bold next to the purpose, or reason why
the writer used them.
People immigrate for many reasons. Some immigrate in order to leave behind a bad
situation at home. Others come to a new country for the sake of their family. They hope their
children will receive a better education or have more opportunities in a new place. Still others
come to find better economic opportunities. In the case of the Laval family, they moved
to France because Mr. Laval felt that he could find better work opportunities than he could
at home in Haiti. Living in a new country was stressful at first and required a great deal of
adjustment. Over the course of several years, however, the family got used to their new life.
PHRASE PURPOSE
1 for the sake of a to introduce an example
2 in the case of b to define a period of time
3 over the course of c to show the reason for an action
0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "An Immigrant's Silent Struggle" uses the narrative to describe an important
realization he has gained.
Before you read, answer these questions: What are some common struggles that immigrants
often have? What do you think the author means by "silent struggle" ?
Now read the article. Think about your answers to the questions above as you read.

l “I want to be just like you ,” the young man


said. He was an onion seller, sitting in the hot
tropical sun by the side ot the road. He wore
an extra -large T-shirt and over-sized jeans
that reflected the influence ot American
pop culture that was everywhere in Africa.
I had accepted a seat at his onion stand to
take a break before concluding business in
Accra that afternoon. Between brisk sales
serving customers stuck in traffic, he asked
incessant 2 questions about life in America,
convinced that having a visa to the United
States was like winning the lottery. How
could I tell him that I envied his simple
innocent life ? How could I tell him that I was
guilty ot creating a false image of Africans
living abroad ? 3 After two weeks in Ghana, I was in fact
2 From the outside , I looked the picture of broke and eagerly anticipating my return
success. I wore a white designer shirt and to the States. The first time I had left, I was
matching pants that I had bought in a fueled with naive-’ ambition. In fact, until
megamall in Detroit, where I worked as an a tew years ago I had been planning to
engineer. My clothing suggested that I was a return one day and settle back in my home
wealthy man, yet the truth was that I could country. This time, though , I was leaving
not afford the numerous requests tor money knowing that I was returning to America
from my relatives or even to make gifts ot to face the challenges of living there
my belongings. When I had left Ghana 10 permanently.
years ago, uncles and aunts had sacrificed 4 America had fulfilled my ambition . I
much to raise money tor my trip abroad. had arrived with the equivalent ot a high
Now these same uncles and aunts expected school diploma, and after 10 years, I hold
me to finance cousins hoping to make the a graduate degree and have a relatively
same move to the United States. successful professional career. That is not to

: brisk: quick and active 3


naive: too ready to believe something
: incessant: never stopping
say it had been easy. Every inch ot progress there and to return to the uncomplicated life
had been achieved through exhausting I once knew in Ghana - the life perhaps of
battles. My college education had been the onion seller.
financed partly through working multiple
6 Most ot us leave home never realizing how
minimum -wage jobs. Upon graduation, I
much we would change. We also never think
had gotten a job, but adjusting to corporate
about how our experiences might scar us.
culture was initially very difficult. Then,
I suppose my experience is no different
nervous about job security , I went to
from any other immigrant’s to America. I
graduate school part time to give myself’ am torn between the culture I have entered
an edge in case ot job layoffs. And I had
and the culture I have left behind. I am
spent a small fortune in legal tees and had
learning though to accept my new identity
endured many stressful years tor the sake of
and to embrace the blend ot the two cultures
becoming a permanent resident in America. that exist in me. I have also learned that if
5 Living in America had been like running a I work hard and give something back to
marathon, and I had hoped that my trip back loved ones in Ghana, I might turn a life of
home would provide me with some rest and disenchantment4 into one that is rich and
relaxation. But it had not worked out that fulfilling.
way. Instead, I felt as though I were drowning
in conflict. Part ot me wanted to settle !
disenchantment: no longer feeling the value of something
permanently in America. But another part ot
me longed to escape the complexities of life

2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 Why does the author consider the idea of returning to Ghana?


2 How is the author's trip to Ghana different from what he expected ?
3 Have you ever had the experience of feeling "torn between two cultures/' as Robert does ?

2.4 Notice the Features of Narrative

Answer the questions.


1 Look at the last sentence of paragraph 1. What does this fine show the reader?
a The author will present his point of view on U . S . - Africa relations.
b This piece of writing will tell a personal story,
c The author is proud that he is a businessman.
2 What do you think is the purpose of the essay ?
a To tell a story about how immigration changes the way you feel about your home country
b To compare and contrast the economies of Ghana and the United States
c To persuade readers in Ghana that it is a bad idea to emigrate to the United States
In Section 1 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on his topic. In this section
you will analyze the final draft of his narrative essay. You will learn how to structure your ideas
for your own essay.

O Student Model
Read the writing prompt again and answer the questions.
WRITING PROMPT: Choose a significant event in your life that resulted in a change in your
view of the world or taught you a lesson.
1 What is the prompt asking the writer to do?
2 What are some problems a student might have going to school in a new country that he or
she did not have at home?

Read the essay twice. The first time, think about your answers to the questions above.
The second time, answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes. This will help
you notice key features of narrative essays.

How I Became a Mexican American


When I was 13 years old , my family - my grandparents, my little sister,
1 Analyze Writing Skills
and I - moved to the United States from Mexico. I still remember worrying What does the writer do
about leaving my lifelong friends behind and having to make new ones in a in the first paragraph?
Circle your answer.
completely foreign land. My grandparents had made this decision to move, a gives the situation for
and there was no changing their minds. “Ale, we are moving to make a better the story
b gives only details
life for you and your sister, and you will thank us one day,” they explained. about where the story
takes place
I did not believe them. All I could think was that my grandparents, whom I
loved and trusted, were doing something that would be the end of happiness 2 Analyze Writing Skills
as I knew it. I was sure that I would never forgive them. In my teen years, I In the first paragraph, is
the thesis directly stated ?
lacked perspective, 1 above all, the perspective that comes from looking beyond Circle your answer.
yourself . a yes b no

2 As it turned out, I had not even come close to fully anticipating how 3 Analyze Writing Skills
difficult my new life in America would be or how lonely and excluded I would Underline all
the adjectives in
feel. Although I tried to present the image of being just another student at paragraph 2 that the
my new school, I always felt hopelessly different, especially as there were few writer uses to help
his reader understand
Spanish -speaking students in my school and I was ashamed of my difficulties his feelings about his
situation. Are they positive
learning English. Oddly, what I found to be most stressful was when my or negative feelings ?
grandparents would pick my sister and me up after school. They would be
so happy to see us and would greet us very loudly in Spanish. I dreaded that

‘perspective: the ability to consider things accurately and fairly


moment at the end of the school day, worried about what my American peers, 2
who all went home alone, would think. I wanted to ask my grandparents,
“ Why did you bring us here if you are going to act and speak like we are still in
Mexico? ” If I had to adjust to my new surroundings, why didn’t they? After all,
they were the ones who had wanted to come here!
3 Although I managed to keep my mouth shut, these questions bothered me
until one day when I came home unexpectedly. My grandmother was looking
at old pictures from Mexico. For the first and only time in my life, I saw her
sobbing. My grandfather ’s arms were around her and he patted her hair. I
stayed out of sight but overheard her telling my grandfather, “I miss them all
so much - Diego, Isa, Hector, all the rest of our family. I miss the whole town ;
I miss Luz, Mercedes, and all my old friends, the house that you built and
that we lived in so many years, my garden .. M y grandfather was trying to
4 Analyze Writing Skills
comfort her. “My love,” he told her, “Always remember that we did this so that
a In which paragraph
our grandchildren can have the security of a bright future.” An overwhelming does the character
gain a new
sense of shame washed over me. “ How could I have been so selfish as to understanding ?
be ashamed of them at school and even at home? ” I wondered. I had only 3 4
b Which paragraph
thought of how the move to the United States had affected me. In the case of describes the event
my grandparents, who had spent such long lives in Mexico, it had been much that helps the
character gain this
harder. understanding?
3 4
4 Suddenly, I gained a new perspective on my situation. I began to
understand the complexity of my grandparents’ lives and the sacrifices they 5 Analyze Writing Skills
had made and were making for me and my sister and we never knew. Through Good writers vary the
all their difficulties, they always smiled, made us laugh , and gave us hope about length and structure of
their sentences to make
the future. My sister and I had been given a gift from our grandparents. That their writing interesting .
Underline the subject of
was it. I decided right then and there to make the most of it. My worries over each of the first three
struggling to speak English like my peers were replaced with an ambition sentences of paragraph 4 .
Do all the sentences begin
to work my hardest to repay my grandparents for what they had done. This with the subject?

hard work paid off more quickly than I had imagined possible in my learning Yes No

English fluently and feeling more comfortable in my new homeland.

:peers: people of the same age, social position , or abilities


(CONTINUED)
5 Recently, my grandparents had their fortieth anniversary, and I planned a 6 Analyze Writing Skills

special surprise party for them. The party was a complete success, and I made What lesson or message
does the writer want to
sure that our family and our American friends ate the traditional Mexican convey from this story?
Circle your answer.
food and listened to the traditional Mexican music that my grandparents
a Understanding and
still loved so much. In this and many other ways, I have tried to repay my appreciating other
people's situations can
grandparents over the course of the last several years. Sometimes it is only help us see our own
later that we understand we are being given a gift and can see that the gift is situation in a better,
more positive way .
much bigger than even the giver could have realized. b If you adjust to a new
culture and get to
know people from that
culture, you can lead a
better, happier life.

sitf1
3.1 Check Your Understanding
Answer the questions.

1 How did the writer change ? What caused the change, and what positive consequences did it
have for the writer?
2 What is the significance of the party scene in the last paragraph ?
3 What are some other problems people might have to overcome when they move to a new
culture or go to school in a new culture ?

d* 3.2 Outline the Writer's Ideas


Complete the outline for "How I Became a Mexican American" using the phrases in
the box.

grandparents' greeting at school new opportunities and new perspective


lacked perspective sacrifices for grandchildren
looking at old pictures and crying new perspective
ESSAY OUTLINE
r
Introduction

Thesis ; couldn’t see beyond self


Statement

Body , Hard time adjusting Il lI

Paragraph 1

Supporting A. Felt different J i i i i i Bu i ii aJ IIIJII a JI 11.111 Liu J

Idea 1

Detail 1,Felt lonely and left out B BH LIJ I II BJ .


LB I I I LBI I IIBJ I I LBJ I I IB
! .
I I B I J I I L I I I l.l lJ I I, J IIII I J B i n i L I I I i L BJ i BIJI i B i a u m ii III .
11 I ILBI I I HI I I IBB I IIIJI a

Detail 2. Felt different from the other students Bil lII


- .
II BBJ IIBB IIIBUI II IBJ I B BII I IBB III Bl IIIIIII IBB IILBI

Supporting $ , Ashamed BBJ I J I I IIIBI I BIJ II BIJ IIIJIII I I I J II LIBJ I LIBJJ

Idea 2

Detail 1, Ashamed of problems with English a

Detail 2, a felt embarrassing I I L

Body III, One day came home early I II BIB II BIB I II BB III, .
II BB J IIkill LIBJ .
J J I LIBJ IIIJIIBIB J II BB1IIB JI I BBBJ

Paragraph 2

Supporting A. Heard grandparents talking about missing Mexico


Idea 1

Detail 1. Grandmother a JI II. ; she missed Mexico I I L

Detail 2 . Grandfather mentioned LIJIIBBJI ILBI I .


IIIII BBJ II BIJ I LBIJ IIIBJ I LB B J II BIJ II BBJ I BBBJ I LIBJI IJ I J II BIB J II I BBBJ I BBBJ IIBBJ II

Supporting E3, Felt ashamed IIIII B I B Bll II BJ I I BBBJ I IIJI I. B I I I J I ILIBJIBBBJ

Idea 2

Body IV. I gained a i l a i l a i l a i l a i l a i l a i l a i l II B J i

Paragraph 3

Supporting A, Understood complexity of their lives and their sacrifice J

Idea 1

Detail 1. Grandparents never expressed anything but positive thoughts B B I BBBJ I BBBJ I BIBB I BBBJ I BBBJ I BBBJ I BBBJ I Bl

Supporting D, Decided to work hard and made grandparents happy II BII . . . -


BIB IIBBJ I BBBJ I BBBJ IIB B J II BBJ I BBBJ ILBI J II BBBJ II LBJ I

Idea 2

Detail 1, Learned English and felt more comfortable J i l l: I BBBJ I BBBJ IIIBJ I I BIBB I BBBJ I BBBJ IBBBJ I BBBJ ILIU BBBJIBBJ
.
Y Conclusion eaiii ni m ii P i n

Supporting A. Grandparents fortieth a nniversary party


Idea 1

Detail 1, TraditionsI Mexican food and music 11 I Pill

Detail .
2 A way of repaying grandparents p
^i PPII i rail i rail

Supporting
Idea 2
.
13 Lesson learned; realirini ppni m i were grandparents’ gifts

O Narrative Essays
A narrative is a story that reveals an important point, message, or theme for the reader. Writers
use stories for many purposes: to entertain, to teach, to explain, to evoke empathy and
sympathy, and so on. Telling a story is an effective way to engage your readers by appealing to
their emotions. The events in a narrative essay usually involve a conflict, such as a disagreement
between two people or an obstacle to a goal. These events lead to a climax - the most
interesting or significant part of the story.

THE STRUCTURE
A good narrative includes the following:
• an introductory paragraph that prepares the reader for the story by describing the setting
or the scene and the characters. It also usually presents the thesis, which is the point,
message, or theme of the story.
• believable characters that engage the reader's interest.
• interesting details that put the reader in the story, such as sights, sounds, tastes, and other
sensations. It may also include dialogue that makes the story come alive.
• a conflict or problem to solve.
• a series of events that lead to a climax . The events are described in a way that draws the
reader in and makes the reader want to continue reading.
• a concluding paragraph that clarifies the point, message, or theme for the reader.
This is a diagram showing the parts of a narrative.

Events and descriptions c=,2


Or
lead to a climax id
°0

Introduction
Theme / point / message of story

& 3.3 Notice


Work with a partner. Review the information above and complete the statements.
1 Another word for narrative is
2 The purposes of a narrative include to evoke empathy or sympathy, to explain something, to
entertain the reader, and to something. j k J

3 The most interesting or significant part of a narrative is the m .B I. m I I i .


k I i d k L j j a i i J a k i

4 A good narrative includes the following components:


• an introductory paragraph
a a i r II I I n r

believable characters
interesting a p r "i i s r i l a P ri i P r I a that put the reader in the story
a conflict or a problem
a series of events that leads to a
a concluding paragraph

CHOOSING A GOOD IDEA FOR A STORY


The first step in writing a narrative is choosing a good story idea. The following questions can
help writers choose an idea for a story:
1 Will my story communicate the purpose or lesson that I am being asked to write about?
2 Is there enough of a conflict so that the reader is drawn in and wants to see how the
problem is resolved?
3 Will this story be interesting to my readers?
4 Are there interesting characters and scenes that I can use to develop my story ? Can I create
dialogue that helps my readers experience and respond to the situation?
5 Can the story be told in one essay? In other words, are there clear events that have a clear
beginning and end over a specific period of time?
& 3.4 Notice
Read the following prompt and story ideas. Answer the writing prompt questions for
each idea. Check ( /) the idea that you think would make the best story. Then explain
your choice to a partner.
WRITING PROMPT: Think about the first day at a new school or a new job. What obstacles did
you overcome ? What advice do you have for others facing a new situation?
Story Ideas
M a my first job ever, at the supermarket deli counter, and how scared I was when I saw the
dangerous meat-slicing machine they wanted me to use. in the end, I decided not to
do such a dangerous job.
; b the time I brought my insect coilection to school on the first day of kindergarten and
found out that my teacher was afraid of bugs
c the time I ran into another car on the way to my first day at work, found out that my
new manager was the driver of the car I had just hit, and discovered that flexibility and
humor can help a person handle even the most difficult situations
d finding out that my best friend cheated on an exam and trying to decide whether to tell
the teacher. I never told and I never have forgotten it.
e when I learned that my uncle in Canada would pay for my college education if I agreed
to move there for college and then stay afterward and work in his business. It was a
decision that made me seriously think about my career.

3.5 Apply it to Your Writing


With a partner, ask and answer the writing prompt questions above to evaluate
the story idea that you generated for your writing prompt in Section 1 on page 49.

THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH


The introduction of a narrative essay sets the place and time of the story, or gives details
about the main character. The paragraph may include a thesis statement that tells the point,
message, or theme of the story. The thesis of a narrative essay may also be implied; that is, the
writer does not state the thesis directly, but demonstrates it through the evidence in the story.
However, a strong thesis statement can help you stay focused as you write and ensure that your
essay answers the writing prompt. The student model has a strong thesis statement.
A good introduction includes a strong sense of setting, situation, and purpose for the story. A
great introduction does it all with flair by including details and precise and interesting words.
These details and words vividly set up the situation and the conflict or problem in a competing
way that illustrates the thesis. For example, if your thesis is "'dreams don't always come true
and sometimes it's best that they don 't," then you need to create the experience of what the
dream was, its importance to your characters, and hint at the struggle or frustration that your
characters will inevitably deal with. This makes your readers want to continue reading.
3.6 Discuss the Paragraphs
Work with a partner. Which introductory paragraph is better, A or B ? Why? Think of
more information that you can add, such as details about the setting or the characters,
that would improve the other paragraph.
A I had just graduated from college and it was my first day at my new job. It was my dream
job - working as a web designer for my local school district. However, I had no idea that I
was about to have a big surprise when I found out who my new boss was. My experience
that day taught me that humor and a positive attitude go a long way toward smoothing out
difficult situations.
B I'll never forget that day: It was a warm spring morning and the air was infused with a sense of
hope and excitement. I felt this sense of hope throughout my body as I got into my car and set
out on the long drive to my new life. After struggling to survive on unemployment for the past
year, I had finally found a solution. The offer of a dream job convinced me to move halfway
across the country and start a new life. However, one small mistake that day almost robbed me
of all of my dreams. As unfortunate as the incident was, I learned an important lesson that day:
Dreams don't always come true, and sometimes it's best that they don't.

& 3.7 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1. Write some details and
incidents that you might use in your introduction. You can change these later.

.
a .
J a b i J a « .
ft J J ft ft ft J . j f t a f t i. f t f t B b i. f t
h i

n e i f f r i B P 'r i
B i r B f i B i v i i P i B i e r T i i i r r B B s p r
» B i I B I B F T B 1 B P I 1 B fl B B B B B B B
^ ^

& 3.8 Thesis Statements


With a partner, read the writing prompt and the introductory paragraph. Then read the
three possible thesis statements to complete the paragraph on page 62. Check ( / ) the
thesis statement that best answers the prompt and expresses the point of the story.
WRITING PROMPT: The American novelist Thomas Wolfe once said, "You can't go home
again." This saying became a part of American culture and means that once you grow up
and leave home, you will never feel the same again about it. Relate an experience that you or
someone you know has had that either supports or contradicts this idea.

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH
As Thomas Wolfe once said, "You can't go home again." The American author was expressing
the idea that once you grow up and go out into the world and experience what life has to offer,
you will never feel the same again about the place you left. For example, if you move from a
small town to a city, when you return home, your town will seem small and inadequate, and the
people living there will seem dull and unsophisticated. You'll feel like a stranger in a strange land
because you have grown while those who stayed behind never changed.
Thesis Statements
a My decision to stay home and take care of my disabled brother, rather than leave to
attend college in another city, taught me the truth of this saying.
: b However, an experience that i had returning home after three years of college in a
foreign country taught me the opposite of this saying: You can go home again.
c However, after backpacking through Asia for three months, I learned that I can make
my home anywhere in the world where people are kind, welcoming, and open-minded.

3.9 Apply it to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1. Write a possible theme
for your narrative. Can you express it as a thesis statement? If so, write a thesis
statement for your narrative. Work with a partner and check that your theme and / or
thesis statement answers your prompt and expresses the main point of your story.

1 1 1 1

i i i n w i a i n i ) i i i i ii i m ii i k i LI Ii 1' II LI Ii LI B i k i j i II n H I i II II n n i II i >i J i II i J I H I I il I II n a i n i II a i II i i i i II I n i i Bi n i i ii n ii i iiii i i n i i ii n ii I n i i i i i i B i II n ii i n i n i I i i i i II 1 i i i i i i i i n i B 1i i B 9 I k B i I k B i I k r i n ii m u n i i r j n i B n n

r n r i i i i i i i FI I I II I I I i m IF I

BODY PARAGRAPHS
The body paragraphs of a narrative essay include a sequence of well-chosen events; vivid
descriptions of characters, feelings, and places; and revealing dialogue that move the action
forward and end in a climax, a meaningful moment that changes the character.

Although I managed to keep my mouth shut, these questions bothered me


until one day when I came home unexpectedly. My grandmother was looking These events are relevant
and necessary to the
at old pictures from Mexico. For the first and only time in my life, I saw her story,
sobbing. My grandfather s arms were around her and he patted her hair. I
stayed out of sight but overheard her telling my grandfather, “I miss them all
Instead of reporting
so much - Diego, Isa , Hector, all the rest of our family. I miss the whole town ; speech, the writer uses
direct speech to make the
I miss Luz, Mercedes, and all my old friends, the house that you built and
story and the characters
that we lived in so many years, my garden .. .” My grandfather was trying to more real.

comfort her. “My love,” he told her, “Always remember that we did this so that Notice the precise words
our grandchildren can have the security of a bright future ” An overwhelming the writer uses to give
us a clear picture of the
sense of shame washed over me. “ How could I have been so selfish as to characters.
be ashamed of them at school and even at home? ” I wondered. I had only
thought of how the move to the United States had affected me. In the case of
my grandparents, who had spent such long lives in Mexico, it had been much
harder.
Suddenly, I gained a new perspective on my situation. I began to
understand the complexity of my grandparents’ lives and the sacrifices they
had made and were making for me and my sister and we never knew. Through
all their difficulties, they always smiled, made us laugh, and gave us hope
about the future. My sister and I had been given a gift from our grandparents. Notice the sentence the
o writer uses to signal the
That was it. I decided right then and there to make the most of it. My worries climax .
over struggling to speak English like my peers were replaced with an ambition
to work my hardest to repay my grandparents for what they had done. This
hard work paid off more quickly than I had imagined possible in my learning
English fluently and feeling more comfortable in my new homeland.

Read the two paragraphs from the Student Model.


When using dialogue, it is important to follow punctuation rules for direct quotations. These
are the MLA (Modern Language Association) rules for punctuating dialogue:
1 Before a quotation, use a comma or a colon.
The young man said," I want to be just like you."
2 Question marks and exclamation points go inside the quotation marks if the person being
quoted asked a question or exclaimed something. Otherwise, they go outside.
The interviewer asked all applicants, " What obstacles have you overcome?"
What did Thomas Wolfe mean by " You can' t go home again" ?
3 For quotes within quotes, use single quotation marks.
According to Williams, " When asked why they come here, most immigrants answer ' for economic
opportunities .
tit

4 For quoted words or phrases with commas and periods, the comma or period goes inside
the quotation mark.
The feeling of not belonging to any culture is sometimes referred to as " anomie."
& 3.10 Analyze Body Paragraphs
Read the paragraphs from an essay that a student wrote in response to the same prompt
as the Student Model. Complete the tasks.

WRITING PROMPT: Choose a significant event in your life that resulted in a change in your
view of the world or taught you a lesson.

l The first thing my mother said when we arrived in our new country was, “ You children
have to eat. I’m going out today to find work, and I won’t come back until I get a job.”
She left us with our Aunt Mathilde. Aunt Mathilde was a large, jolly sort of woman. She
was always laughing and making jokes. Aunt Mathilde took us to the park that day and
let us play for what seemed like hours. Then she took us for a long walk around our new
neighborhood. She bought us candy and ice cream all along the way. I do not really like
ice cream. She introduced us to all her friends and acquaintances. Finally, it started getting
dark. Aunt Mathilde took us home and gave us dinner, all the while remaining very positive
and upbeat. It seemed very late to us. Finally, my brother Emile said, “Aunt Mathilde, when
is Mama coming back? ” Aunt Mathilde finally lost her happy face. “I do not know, children .
But I do know your mother. If she says she is not coming back until she gets a job, she
means it.”
2 We had a hard time getting to sleep that night. We were all worried about our mother.
Aunt Mathilde put us to bed and sat in a chair next to us in order to comfort us. I’m right
here, she said , Do not worry. Your mother will return. We were just starting to fall asleep.
It was almost midnight. Suddenly, we heard the front door opening. It was our mother! We
ran out of the bedroom and wrapped our arms around her knees. “Mama!” we shouted.
“ Where were you ? ”, I told you I would not come home until I found a job, she explained.
“ Well, I found a good job in a restaurant!” It turned out that the restaurant was so busy that
day and so in need of our mother that they had asked her to start that very day. Not only
did out mother find a good job, but she had also brought us treats from the restaurant. The
restaurant was on Smith Street. Our mother worked hard at that job, and she saved a lot of
money. In a few short years, we were living in our own house on a tree-shaded street, riding
our bikes to one of the best schools in the city.
3 We came from a place where we had no home and could not afford to go to school.
Our mother had tew skills and spoke little English. When we first came to Canada, we
had nothing , only a kind aunt. I think the most important lesson my brothers and I
learned when we came here is to never give up. Persistence, even in the face of the most
insurmountable obstacles, will always bring rewards.

1 Cross out the sentences that do NOT seem necessary to the story.
2 Circle the words and phrases that help you visualize the characters.
Notice the dialogue and the use of punctuation with quotation marks in paragraph . Then
3
^
add three sets of missing quotation marks and correct two other mistakes in punctuation in
paragraph 2.
& 3.11 Identify the Climax
Read the body paragraph below. Underline the sentence that seems like it is the climax.
Tell a partner which sentence you chose and why you think it is the climax.

The mail carrier came by at 1:30 in the afternoon. My mother looked through the mail and
pulled out an envelope from the American embassy. Looking at me nervously, she ripped open
the envelope. She started to yell as she pulled out the letter approving our visa. We hugged each
other for a few minutes. My mother held the envelope tightly in her hand while we hugged.
“ Well, I guess we should start preparing,” she said at last. It was a moment in my life that I will
never forget.

3.1 2 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1 on page 49. Write one or
two sentences describing the climax of your narrative. Show what you have written to
a partner. Make sure that it actually feels like a climax to a story.

l f i i r i i i i r i i i i r i i

.
a i J
- a m ..
a i a B i i i k J a a a k a a
- .. .
a a a a a k a a a a a i a a .. a
k i a a i.a a m a fi a a h a a a a a a a a a h a a a k a a a a a a a a a i a a a a i> J a a a i .
a a a i a a a a i a a i a a a a a a a a i a a a a i> a a a a i a a a a k a a a a a a
-_ i a a a a .
i a i a a i

P r p r r i p p p p p p p

a .a. a a a

THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH


The conclusion should make it clear that the story is over, and emphasize the theme or
message that was stated in the thesis or hinted at in the introduction. A conclusion can make
a prediction, or reflect on the lesson that the main character has learned, as the student model
essay does. Some examples of language that could be used are:
• That's how I learned that homesickness is not always a permanent feeling.
• Jim realized that, even though more storms might come in the future, next time he would be
prepared for them.
• After that summer , I always tried to remember that first impressions of people can really change.

3.13 Apply It to Your Writing


Write a conclusion to your narrative following the guidelines above. Make sure it
reflects the narrative's theme.

l I a r i i i a r i i n r r i i i r

I ! fa I .
1 ..
fa «1 1 fin Ii ii a .
a 1 a a .
i a a a a i .a
i a ia a f i: ..
a 1 a a i a a i a a ..a
i i a a In a ..
a i 1 a fa a fa a a fi a a a a aa a a in a a a a fa a a a a in a a .
in a a .
i i a a a a fa i

p p i
In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

Q Writing Skill 1 : Parallel Structure


Writers use parallel structure when a sentence has a list of words or phrases that are all the
same form and part of speech. This pattern can involve single words, phrases, or clauses and
can be used with different grammatical patterns, which are in bold below. If the part of speech
and form don't match, this is not considered good writing. Here are some examples of different
kinds of parallel structure.
Adjective phrases:
Immigration can be not only very exciting but also quite stressful.
Verb phrases:
My father knew he had to either find work or return home.
He had never spoken English, been to a supermarket , or eaten fast food before he came here.
Clauses:
Albert Einstein emigrated from Germany because he wanted to work in America. he was worried
about the war, and his future there was uncertain.

&
4.1 Using Parallel Structure
Read the information. Complete the sentences using parallel structure. You may have to
add some words of your own.
1 Supreme Court justice Sonia Sotomayor's parents were born in Puerto
Rico. They came to the United States during World War II. During the war,
they got married.
Supreme Court justice Sonia Sotomayor's parents came to the United
States during World War II and
2 Sonia Sotomayor is the first Supreme Court justice of Hispanic heritage.
She is also one of the youngest Supreme Court justices.
Sonia Sotomayor is not only the first Supreme Court Justice of Hispanic
heritage, but she is also i a r i

3 Sotomayor graduated from Princeton University. She also received a


degree from Yale Law School. She served as editor of the Yale Lawlournal.
Sotomayor graduated from Princeton University, received a degree from
Yale Law School, and i i r
4 When Sotomayor first started college, she thought that she did not have the skills to be a
good student. She also felt that she did not have enough knowledge to succeed. In addition,
she suffered from a lack of confidence.
When Sotomayor first started college, she thought that she did not have enough
or to
succeed academically.
5 Sotomayor's biography, My Beloved World, does not discuss her political views. It also does
not include her judicial philosophy.
Sotomayor's biography does not discuss her or
? ?!! P r!
' P T1 P Tf

6 Sotomayor visits Puerto Rico frequently because she has family there. She also has many fans
there. In addition, she also visits Puerto Rico because she is often invited to speak.
Sotomayor visits Puerto Rico frequently because she has family there, she
and she

O Writing Skill 2: Sentence Variety


Writing is better and more sophisticated if the sentences are different from each other. Short
sentences in a narrative give a straight-to-the- point feeling. Longer, more complex sentences
provide richer feelings and a different kind of flow. By combining these different kinds of
sentences, your narrative will sound more natural and be more interesting to read. Here are
some techniques for adding variety to the sentences that you write. Notice how they are used
in the first paragraph of the Student Model.
l
Start with a subordinate
clause.
When I was 13 years old , my family - my grandparents, my little sister,
and I - moved to the United States from Mexico. I still remember worrying
about leaving my lifelong friends behind and having to make new ones in a Make compound
sentences with and, or ,
completely foreign land . My grandparents had made this decision to move, but, so, yet, and other
conjunctions.
and there was no changing their minds. “Ale, we are moving to make a better
life for vou and vour sister, and vou will thank us one dav,” they explained
r r * r ~ . ~~f * ' 1

^O——
I did not believe them. All I could think was that my grandparents, whom I <- Vary sentence length.

loved and trusted , were doing something that would be the end of happiness 4
as I knew it. I was sure that I would never forgive them. In my teen years, I Use relative clauses to

lacked perspective, above all, the perspective that comes from looking beyon
yourself.
- combine information.

Start with a prepositional


phrase.
4.2 Providing Sentence Variety
Rewrite the sentences from the paragraph below as directed. Remember to use correct
punctuation.
(1) Chinese workers began immigrating to the United States in large numbers after the
"Gold Rush" of 1849. (2) Most of them came because they heard that they could work as
"prospectors" and mine gold in California. ( 3) Uncle Lee, my father's great-great-granduncle,
was one of tens of thousands of Chinese immigrants who landed in San Francisco in the early
1850s. (4) He settled just north of the city. ( 5) Gold was not as easy to find as he had expected.
(6) Some prospectors did find it. ( 7) According to my father, life was hard for Uncle Lee and
other Chinese immigrants because they were discriminated against and sometimes even
attacked by American prospectors. (8) However, thanks to Uncle Lee and others like him, there
is a Chinese cultural influence in California, which remains today. (9) For example, in the town
of Weaverviile, north of San Francisco, Chinese settlers established a Taoist temple. (10) It is still
there today.
i Change sentence 1 so that it begins with a prepositional phrase.
.a J a. m m m .. .. m .
B .
m m I
- m I. £ i .
h 4 J b bJ J 4 bid I: .
a .
u

J j a b .4
i J B f a i a a a b b j a h b i a a & m m b 1 a
< . b b I a > .
i i i. a a b b

2 Connect sentence 4 to sentence 3 by adding a conjunction to make one sentence.


.1 J B a i .
i i i J i i i a ii a a ..i
i . ii i II H ii J .a b II J, a i i n J I I i i I I J a B i

n i l i II a nm n in s i i i i i i i r r i i i B B i EI. B i i J B r fi B r 1
r r i u i 1 H I I III 1 I I 1 1 1

3 Make sentence 6 a subordinate clause by adding "although" at the beginning. Then rewrite
sentence 5 to begin with this clause.
J m m b b J
- b b 4
- a b b a
- fa .
b b 4 b J .
•.b b a H .B b a a > b i i j a > a •m m m

a a b b a a a b <b a a a b .
b a a . .
i 1 a a b 1 a a b b J a . .a
i a b l a b i a a b b i b i a a b b i i a b b .
j j a b b j a a a b a a a b b j a a b b j m .
i J a a b i .a a h b n b a a b b .
a a a b b a a a b b r i a a b b a a a b b i . a a b b i a a b b i a a b b b a a b b a a a b b i a b b b j a h b b a a a b b a a b b i.a a b .
b b a a b

4 Rewrite sentence 7 to make it two separate sentences by removing the word "because."

i i a B u B ni r H I I I I I B U I I I I 1 B l> I n B H I I I n a: ii I II i l l I I I •

5 Change sentence 10 into a relative clause that describes the word "temple" in the previous
sentence.
b
-. a a .
b b a b a. a a b a a
* a b b a a b b a a B b a b aa a b a .a
0 Grammar for Writing: Past Tense Forms
English has several different ways to write and talk about the past. Using past tense forms
correctly is important for accuracy in writing academic essays. Because these forms show
the order in which two or more events happened, they are especially important in narrative
essay writing.

PAST TENSE FORMS

i Use the simple past to describe Albert Einstein immigrated to the United States
actions or events that are in 1933 .
completed.

2 Use the past progressive to describe i was reading a biography of Einstein all day
activities or events in progress over a yesterday.
period of time in the past.

3 Use the past progressive to BACKGROUND ACTIVITY

describe background activities that While / was reading the biography my


MAIN EVENT
were in progress at the same time
roommate answered the phone.
that a main event occurred. Use the
simple past for the main event.

4 Use the past perfect to describe FIRST EVENT

the first of two events that were I learned that Einstein had won the Nobel
SECOND EVENT
completed in the past. Use the
Prize in Physics by the time he came to the
simple past for the later event. United States.

5 Use the past perfect progressive to By that time, he had been living in Belgium and
focus on an ongoing past action that England for several months.
led up to a point in the past.
4.3 Choosing the Correct Past Tense Form
Circle the best verb form from the choices given.
1 Einstein graduated from the Federal Polytechnic Institute of Zurich in 1900, and he at
several European universities after that.
a worked b had worked
2 After he about equations of special relativity for a while, he developed one of science's
best-known equations: E = me2.
a had been thinking b was thinking
3 In 1939, Einstein a letter to U. S. President Franklin Roosevelt because he believed that
Germany might be developing an atomic bomb,
a was writing b wrote

4 in the 1950s, Einstein worked at Princeton University. The Israeli prime minister had offered
Einstein the position of president of Israel, but Einstein not to accept it.
a decided b had decided
5 In 1999, Time magazine Albert Einstein "the person of the century."
a had named b named
6 German physicist Max Planck Einstein's work when he began to develop his own
groundbreaking work on an idea he called quantum theory.
a was thinking about b thought about
Avoiding Common Mistakes ©
Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using past
tense verb forms in academic writing.

1 Remember to use be in progressive forms.


been
Many of them had living in Mexico before moving to the United States.
2 Use the simple past form to describe a specific event that finished in the past. Do
not use progressive forms.
overhauled
Congress was overhauling U.S. immigration law in 7 965 .
3 Do not use the simple present to give a reason for a past event.
considered
Many members of Congress rejected the president 's idea because they consider it exploitative.
4 Do not use the present perfect to describe a completed event that happened
before a past event.
had
They demolished the monument that has become the city's symbol.

4.4 Editing Task


Find and correct seven more mistakes in the following paragraph.
passed
In 1882, the U. S. Congress was-pass-inqa law called the Chinese Exclusion Act. This law
stated that immigrant workers from China were no longer allowed to immigrate to the United
States and could not be citizens. Chinese laborers had coming to the United States since the
"Gold Rush" more than 40 years before. Rumors of a "mountain of gold" in California started
in Hong Kong in 1849, and quickly spread throughout the provinces of China. This brought
thousands of Chinese immigrants to America's west coast. These immigrants added an Asian
influence to a country that it has not had previously. Still, this influence remained limited because
the Chinese Exclusion Act is in effect. In fact, this act was a form of discrimination, since the
Chinese were the only ethnic or national group that was not allowed to immigrate. Although
the law was supposed to only be temporary, Congress was making it permanent in 1902. They
also added new restrictions by stating that each Chinese resident had to register and obtain a
certificate of residence. By this time, because so many Chinese Americans were excluded from
the mainstream of American life, they have formed "Chinatown" communities where they
supported each other. However, things changed during World War II. Many Chinese- American
men had fighting in the U.S. military against Japan and helping in the American war effort. The
government decided that they had to change their attitude toward Chinese Americans and end
the discriminatory law. In 1943, the Exclusion Act was finally being eliminated.
© Avoiding Plagiarism
Sometimes it's not necessary to cite facts and information. It's important to
know when you need to cite them and when you don't.

My instructor just returned the essay I wrote about immigration.


He said I was missing some citations. I was very careful about
citing all facts and statistics, but he said some of the information
I didn't cite is rare and unusual. He said those ideas are unique
and many people don't know them, so they need citations, too.
I'm so confused! How can I tell what kinds of information need
citations and what kinds don't ? - Mehmet

Dear Mehmet,
Information or facts that most people know are called "common knowledge." You don't
need to cite that information. However, if the information is not common knowledge, that
is, it is unique or unusual, you do need to cite it. If you're unsure, go ahead and cite your
source. It's better to be safe than sorry!
Good tuck!
Professor Wright

WHAT IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE?


Here is a simple test to help you decide if something is common knowledge. Ask yourself this
question: Before you started to research your topic, did you already know the fact or information ? If
you did, it's probably common knowledge. Also, if the information is easy to find and appears
on at least five websites, it's probably common knowledge. Let's look at some examples.

What is common knowledge ? What is not common knowledge?


You don't need to cite it You must cite it.

• Common scientific or historical facts • Statistics and data


• Common current topics of discussion • Scientific theories or philosophical ideas
• Common myths, legends, holidays • Original opinions or ideas
• Facts common to your major or field • Studies or research by other people
The first immigrants to the United States came According to the 2000 U.S. Census, British
from England. immigrant groups are the ninth- largest
immigrant group in the United States today.
4.5 Practice
Look at the information below. Check ( / ) the information that is common knowledge.
This information does not need citations. Discuss your answers with a partner.
- p r p e
-
9 El :
: i The capital of China is Beijing.
p p r r
- --
_ _ _ _ _

n
: 2 Amazon's net income last year was $ 274 million.
^

3 Water freezes at 32°F (0°C).


p B a
4 The World Health Organization reports that there are about 1 billion migrants
throughout the world.
5 The United States is a nation of immigrants.
i: z
i r:r :
i ~L:
n

6 Research shows that the longer immigrants stay in the United States, the more they
assimilate: buy homes, access education, gain citizenship, and become an important
part of American society.

4.6 Practice
Read this paragraph from a student's essay. Underline the two sentences that should
be cited.
Americans come from many different cultures. The United States is a nation of immigrants.
Although they came from different countries and backgrounds, they are all part of American
society. People came to America for many different reasons, such as political freedom and
economic opportunity. Between 1870 and 1930, there were 30 million new immigrants to
the U.S. For many immigrants, citizenship has been an important goal. In 2012, over 750,000
people became U.S. citizens, mostly in California, New York, and Florida. Coming to America is
still a dream for many around the world, and many people believe the number of immigrants
will continue to increase in the coming years.
In this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

BRAINSTORM
Work with a partner. Follow the steps below to brainstorm more ideas.
i Before you start, notice how the writer of the Student Model brainstormed. He wrote many
ideas, identified two possible climaxes, and thought about two possible themes. Then he
went back and crossed some things out.

r WRITING PROMPT: Choose a significant event in your life that resulted in a change in your
view of the world or taught you a lesson.

What happened? Feelings and descriptive details


'
grandparents said we when 1 was 1 3 upset didn t want to leave my friends
,
were moving to the U.S.
from Mexico

arrived in the U.S. and a few months felt awful, couldn't speak English,
started school later didn’t fit in at school

things got worse at start of school embarrassed at school, hated it when


school and at home with my grandparents came to school and
my grandparents spoke Spanish, felt lonely

tense times between me first few English / school / U ri all easi


r F

and my sister months of


school

tenser time with first few feeling angry at them, feeling more like
grandparents months of outsider because of them
school

I came to understand before end of working hard at school and feeling


things better, including school year more comfortable, feelings of love
my grandparents, and for my grandparents, better feelings
started adjusting better about the U.S. and Mexico
(climax ?)

how this happened: all December, feeling shame, this time about being
about my grandparents: around selfish
day I saw my grandmother Christmas
cry (climax «/)

the party for my last year proud of me, my grandparents, Mexico


grandparents
Possible theme:
-

own culture.
Being able to see how someone feels helps us understand our own lives. S
2 Write the ideas that you wrote in Section 1, page 49, in the chart below. Include ideas from
the Your Turns throughout the unit. Brainstorm more ideas.

What happened? When ? Feelings and descriptive details

Theme: 1 r i !s r 4 r 4 4 §! b
* i -+ a a b b a a a b
-^-- -
a S S i a fa 4 > b b 4 4 h +i S H' + i S H' + H S r *! " P
-
1 s a r 1a r T
" P f
- r r +J - r r H r » b

When you are finished, circle the three most important events and write them here.
l a a e p p a 9 rT a rTi B P ri i a p p a a a u r a a B P I a a a p i a a p p i a p r r
* a p p ra a p ra a a p = a a a p i a a p p i a H B P i a a p p i a B P P i a a p p a a p p 'p a a B P a a B
- p ra a p p p a a a
3 pT a a r a a B P a a a p

2 P P a p a p a p i a !a a p p
- a p a a p a a P p 'p a a p p p a a p P P B a a p p a a a B P B a a a P
-
a a p a a a " p a a
1

-- p a1 a a p p p a a P p p a a
- p p a

— p a a
1
P P a a a
1
B P «P
-
a a a P P s a p a a a a p a a a p p a a B P
-
a a a p p a
- -
p p p a a a pT
-
a a a p p p a a a p p a a p a

3 a p p p a a =p a
DO RESEARCH: CHOOSING A QUOTATION FOR AN ESSAY
A well-chosen quotation, an exact phrase, from a reliable source can help support a thesis, add
an interesting perspective, or emphasize a point. However, it is important to use quotations
carefully to support and not replace your own ideas.
Guillermo needed a quotation for an essay he was writing for this prompt: Immigrants often
leave a lasting impact on the individuals and communities to which they move. Describe
how an immigrant influenced an individual or community in his or her new country.
Read and find out how he did it.

After I identified the keywords and points in my thesis, I read several sources
and found quotations with unique language and support for my thesis. Next,
I compared the keywords from each quotation to see which one related best
to my main point. Last, I incorporated the quotation into my own writing by
using an introductory phrase, the source name, and quotation marks.

Guillermo's Results

Essay Topic : Madeleine Albright - Czech immigrant and former U.S. Secretary of State
Thesis: After fleeing oppression in Europe, Madeleine Albright spent her political career
improving foreign relations around the world
So urce Quotation (keywords)
1 Time magazine article, "Madeleine’s "Some, like Albright, develop an aggressive
War" (Isaacson, 1 999) moralism and idealism, pledging never again’
to let the world turn a blind eve to atrocities."

2 www.history.state.gov, "Biographies of " . . . supported the expansion of free- market


the Secretaries of State: Madeleine democratization and the creation of civil
Korbel Albright” (Office of the societies in the developing world
Historian, n.d.)
3 www.greatwomen.org, “Madeleine “ . . . she has created policies and institutions
Korbel Albright" (National Women’s Hall to help auide the world into a new century of
of Fame, n.d,) peace and prosperity."
Quotation choice: According to the National Women’s Hail of Fame, during her time as a
public servant, Albright “created policies and institutions to help guide the world into a
new century of peace and prosperity" by promoting organizations like NATO (“ Madeleine
Korbel Albright”).

5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


On a separate sheet of paper, make a chart like the one above and follow the
steps Guillermo took to choose a quotation for your essay. Use the quotation in
a sentence and be sure to cite the source and the publication year. (If there is no
publication date on the website or article, use n.d. (no date) for the year.)
MAKE AN OUTUNE
Complete the outline below with your ideas from the previous steps.

ESSAY OUTLINE

f Introduction

Body
Paragraph 1

Supporting AV *
n I.B 4 1 8 il I B BJ IIJIUIJJ

Idea 1

Detail 1

Detail 2.

Supporting
Idea 2 &

Detail 1

Detail 2.

Body
. .
.U KF
Paragraph 2

Supporting A,
Idea 1

Detail 1..
k j j Lf

Detail 2,
Supporting
Idea 2 EL

Detail 1..
k j j Lf

Detail 2,
Body J.VL PIB PBH PBS PIB PBH PBH PIB PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH PBH P

Paragraph 3

Supporting A i i riaitriii I I' P B I PPHB I P P


"1 V P ir ilP
" II PB BH II SHIP H IIP P S I T P l i l P M H P I IPBH PBH I

Idea 1

Detail IB1 PFBH B P B I I P


"B I B P B H B B P B BB PPB I B P -- T I P B1 B B P B B B P M1 B P i i l l B PBH

Detail z. IP 1

Supporting
Idea 2
e. B B pft B p i a i T r e n I I*P 1 1 PPPBB B PB - 1B P H I B P I I P - B I PH I PPB I PPi 1 BB II 1 I P B H B I P H 1"1 I P P I1T P I 1I P P H B B P I IPBH PBH I

Detail 1. -.
ii P F B H f BP
"B I I PPBIIPPHB I IIP
"B I PP 9 T I' f H B I B P B H I P iH B I P P B B I B I IPBB B PBB

Detail Ml - - PBH P H H IIP B H IP 1

V. Conclusion
Ideas for
Prediction,
- -
Reflection, or
B PPPSII PB B P P H1 I P BH I P H I P l H i l I' f B H B B H II I I P“B I I P H I IPPBBI PPBHB PPHBB PPBBB PPHHB PP BB PBHBB PPHHB PPBBBI IPPBBB IP
"H B P P H B B PB

Revelation

WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT


Now it is time to write your first draft. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.
1 Use your outline, notes, and the sentences you wrote in the Your Turns and in Step 3 above.
2 Focus on making your ideas as clear as possible.
3 Remember to add a title.

After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors.
1 Check that all sentences have subjects and verbs.
2 Go through and check all your verbs. Have you used past tense forms correctly?
3 Check that you have used parallel structure correctly and that there is some variety in your
sentence types.
4 If you have a thesis statement, make sure it is clear.

WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT


1 After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.
2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Academic Phrases from this unit. Are there any that
you can add to your essay?
4 Turn to page 271 and use the Self -Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.
Work with a partner. Read the quotation about migration. Then answer
the questions.
1 Huntington said that history is "a record of man's migrations from one
environment to another." What did he mean by a "record"?
2 Give an example of a time in history when people migrated to a new environment.
Where did they go and why?
3 Have you ever moved to a new place ? If so, how did you change?
How did you stay the same?

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 79


1 PREPARE YOUR IDEAS

O Connect to Academic Writing


In this unit you will learn skills to help you analyze causes and effects. While some of the writing
skills that you will use may be new to you, the skill of identifying causes and effects is not new.
In your everyday life you identify causes and effects when you ask questions such as What effect
will my major have on my career options? and How will moving to the United States change my life?

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will choose a writing prompt and reflect on it. You will develop these ideas
throughout the unit and use them to practice skills that are necessary to write your final essay.
The writing prompt below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 86-87. The
student reflected on her topic and used a cause-effect graphic organizer to help her remember
specific events and details that made the situation clear in her mind. This helped her think of a
possible thesis.

WRITING PROMPT 1: Why have so many people moved out of rural communities in recent
V
years? Give at least three reasons.
Causes Effect
not enough jobs

boring for young people


Many people are leaving
not enough educational opportunities rural communities

My thesis: A lack of jobs, entertainment, and educational opportunities is causing many young
people to move away from rural towns.
In writing prompt 1, the student reflected on the causes of a situation. At other times, you will
need to reflect on the effects of a situation, as in the writing prompt below.
WRITING PROMPT 2: How has an increased Spanish-speaking population changed Arizona ?
Cause Effects
morejobsadvertisingfor bilingual applicants
More Spanish
speakers in increased interest in changes in immigration policies
Arizona

My thesis: An increase in the number of Spanish speakers in Arizona has resulted in new job
openings and business opportunities as well as changes to immigration policies.

1.1 Notice
Work with a partner. Discuss an additional cause in the first cause -effect graphic
organizer and an additional effect in the second one. Share your ideas with the class.

80 UNIT 3
& 1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on your topic.

A Choose a prompt:

• Choose a country. Describe a current trend of migration within the country (e.g., rural
areas to urban centers, north to south, east to west). Why has it been happening?

• Choose a country. Describe a current trend of migration to or from the country (e.g.,
people immigrating there from certain countries, or people moving away to certain
countries). How has it affected the immigrants and/ or the country itself?
• How has the increasing ease and frequency of international travel affected those who
travel and the places they go to?
• A topic approved by your instructor

B Work with a partner and complete the following tasks:


1 Think about your prompt. Decide if you need to write about the causes of something or
the effects of something.
2 Choose the cause-effect graphic organizer below that best fits your prompt and complete
it. Think of everything that might have happened to cause the situation or ail the effects
that might result from the situation. Add more boxes if you need them.
3 Write a possible thesis statement.

Causes Effect

Cause Effects

Possible thesis statement: i n n l a i n l a i n i r r n m i m i i i i i s r

. .
I I I B B J a m

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 81


O EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE

In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your cause and effect essay.
You will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of cause and effect.

O Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. They are from the Academic Word List Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

document (v) exhibit (v) reaction (n) summarize (v)


enhance (v) mutual (adj) subsequently (adv) sustain (v)

2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Read the sentences. Decide the meaning of the bold words and
circle the correct answer.
i Many study-abroad programs require students to document what they learned overseas in
papers and projects after they return home. Document means
a to record the details of something. b to avoid thinking about something.
2 Some residents of Arizona believe that newer immigrants enhance their communities, while
others believe immigration is not beneficial to them. Enhance means
a to decrease the quality of something. b to improve the quality of something.
3 Children who move to a new town often exhibit symptoms of psychological problems such
as anxiety and difficulty sleeping. Exhibit means
a to talk about something. b to show something publicly.
4 Expanding internationally offers mutual benefits to companies and to their traveling
customers. Companies increase revenues, and customers enjoy familiar products and
services. Mutual means
a doing something for each other. b doing two different things.
5 When students move to their new college campus, they often have positive reactions when
they like things and negative ones when they do not. Reaction means
a statement that one person makes to b feeling in response to something.
another.
6 Many auto workers in Detroit were laid off in the 1980s. Subsequently, the city's population
decreased as people left to find work elsewhere. Subsequently means
a happening after something. b never happening.

82 UNIT 3
7 The most recent UN report on urban
migration is fascinating but too long for
many people to read. However, the first
page summarizes the key information in
the report. Summarize means
a to present the most important facts or
ideas in a short space.
b to replace older facts or ideas with new
information.
8 If a city does not have enough jobs to
sustain all of its residents who need work,
people will begin to leave. Sustain means
a to keep something going; to maintain.
b to generate new revenue for.

O Academic Collocations ©
Collocations are words that are frequently used together. Research tells us that the academic
vocabulary in Part A is commonly used in the collocations in bold below.

&
2.2 Focus on Meaning

Read the sentences. Decide the meaning of the phrases in bold and circle the
correct answer.

1 One of the results of more Spanish-speaking immigrants in Tucson, Arizona, has been that
English-language centers are working with job centers for the mutual support of those
needing bilingual employees and those seeking jobs. Mutual support means
a help that one side gives the other. b help that both sides give each other.
2 A partnership between ESL centers and job placement services also creates mutual benefit
for those operations because the partnership makes both of their businesses grow. Mutual
benefit means
a no change for either side. b positive results for both sides.
3 It is easy to identify new residents in a city because they exhibit behavior similar to tourists
who do not know the public transportation system and need maps. Exhibit behavior means
a to act a certain way. b to act in a strange way.

4 A very small portion of students have a negative reaction to studying abroad and become
too homesick to continue. Negative reaction means
a a bad response. b a good response.
5 The diversity brought to many countries because of increased immigration has greatly
enhanced the cultural awareness of people around the world, which is valuable in our
globalized world. Greatly enhance means
a to make something impossible. b to make something stronger.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 83


0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "Moving Is Tough for Kids " uses cause and effect to make her argument clearer
and more persuasive.
Before you read, answer these questions: What might make moving tough for kids? What
might be easy for them?
Now read the article. Think about your answers to the questions above as you read.

l The bad news. The New York Times recently


summarized new research on how kids are
affected by moving. The study, published
in the Journal of Social and Personality
Psychology, carefully documents the tact
that frequent moves are tough on kids
and disrupt1 important friendships. The
study reports that these effects are most
problematic2 tor kids who are introverted 3
and whose personalities tend toward anxiety
and inflexibility. The study also goes on to
say that adults who moved frequently as kids
have fewer high -quality relationships and
tend to score lower on well -being and life
satisfaction.
2 The not -so-bad news. The reports warns,
however, that these findings should be
treated with caution because often families 3 A touchy subject." The subject of moving is
that move a lot may be doing so because of a touchy one tor my family. We know a lot
already existing problems, such as a divorce about it because during the first 25 years of
or a job loss. In addition, the moves may be my marriage, we moved 10 times. Yes, that’s
taking place during a time when children are right, 10 times! My oldest son moved five
already making difficult transitions. They times before college (a very touchy subject )
may be going through puberty4 or moving and my youngest has moved three. We
from primary education to secondary school , were always the ones who moved. I don’t
which can be a particularly difficult period. remember my kids ever being the ones left
So the difficult behaviors exhibited by behind. Now, however, things have changed.
kids ( and adults ) who move may be greatly I have become tenured,6 and we are the ones
enhanced by factors that are not directly who are staying. It was my son’s best friend
related to moving. who moved away

5
' disrupt: prevent something from continuing as usual a touchy subject: a subject that must be dealt with carefully
problematic: causing difficulty, or hard to deal with "become tenured: receive a job for life, usually as a teacher
’introverted: shy, quiet , and unable to make friends easily or university professor
puberty: the stage of life when a child develops physically
into an adult

84 UNIT 3
4 The child left behind. After his best our familiar family room and his messy
friend moved, my son went through a very new bedroom - provides them with mutual
difficult time. Children react very differently support and comfort And the kids today
from adults when tilings don’t go well. have video games that can be played online
For kids, negative reactions can include and that tend to promote communication
inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and acting since the kids inevitably talk around and
-
out yelling, hitting, and generally being through a game as they play
difficult to control. Fortunately, my son did 6 Getting involved. When we were kids and
not hit those depths , but he did have trouble
moved to a new town, my parents would
sleeping, his attention was poor, and he was immediately settle themselves in , join
sad a lot of the time. This, ot course, hit his organizations, and take on leadership roles.
friend as well , who was perhaps even more I remember my father saying that one ot the
seriously upset and, being extroverted, was reasons that families moving through our
even more prone to acting out.
community had such a hard time is that they
5 A different generation . Fortunately, it is kept their distance and didn’t get involved in
much easier tor children today to sustain a the community. Often, these families came
distant relationship. Technology has changed to town not knowing if they would be there
things a lot . When I was a kid and my best tor one year, three years, or a lifetime. As a
friend moved, we wrote weekly letters, but result, they never really committed to staying;
never made a phone call. It was 7 cents a they never made friends; they never set down
minute and that was a lot of money. Now roots. My father would say - and I agree with
the kids use the unlimited phone minutes him - that although it can be painful to have
on their cell phones to call each other. My to tear up roots and leave, it is still better to
son and his friend have been video chatting go through that pain than never to become
regularly on the Internet. And just seeing part ot a community.
each other’s faces - and the messiness of

2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 What are some of the effects of moving on children?


2 Was the effect of moving mostly positive or mostly negative for the author's son? How
convincing is this evidence? What kinds of evidence would be better?
3 How does the author's experience differ from your own? What other effects do you think
moving can cause for children ?

2.4 Notice the Features of Cause and Effect

Answer the questions.

1 Look at the first paragraph. Is this paragraph mostly about the effects of something or the
causes of something? What words show you this?
2 Is the second paragraph mostly about the effects of something or the causes of something?
What language does the author use to show this ?

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 85


3 STUDY ACADEMIC WRITING

In Section 1 on page 80 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on her topic.
In this section you will analyze the final draft of her cause and effect essay. You will learn how to
structure your ideas for your own essay.

O Student Model
Read the writing prompt again and answer the questions.
WRITING PROMPT: Why have so many people moved out of rural communities in recent
years? Give at least three reasons.
1 What cause and effect relationship will the writer focus on?
2 Will the essay be about the causes of something or the effects of something ? Which
organization from Section 1 will fit this essay best?
Read the essay twice. The first time, think about your answers to the questions above.
The second time, answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes. This will help
you notice key features of cause and effect essays.

Rural Communities Left Behind

l While many news reports focus on struggling cities like Detroit , there
have been few reports about the crisis in many rural communities, which are
steadily declining and struggling, too, because of a trend called “outmigration.”
Outmigration is when people leave one area and move to another. This problem
interests me because I have lived in a rural community for three years and
have personally experienced seeing friends move away and businesses close.
According to William H. Frey of the Brookings Institution, a 2014 Census report
1 Analyze Writing Skills
showed that as of July 2013 almost two - thirds of rural counties had become
Does this essay focus
smaller. Outmigration happens tor many reasons , but some common factors are on multiple causes or
fewer good job opportunities , lack of amenities , ' and inaccessible health care. multiple effects?

2 One reason for outmigration is a limited number of decent employment


opportunities. There are fewer good jobs and more competition in smaller
towns , so it is harder to find a job. Young people are the largest group who
are most likely to leave to seek job opportunities ( McGranahan, Cromartie,
and Wojan ). For example, in my town there are not many opportunities tor
2 Analyze Writing Skills
jobs in accounting. Many college students graduate with accounting degrees;
In paragraph 2, underline
subsequently , if they want to have a career in accounting, they have to move to all the transition words
or phrases that signal
a city, hi addition, jobs in larger cities usually have a higher salary. In the small reasons or causes.
town of Macon, Georgia, a paralegal makes around $20,000, but in Savannah
the amount is almost double. A lack of economic opportunities is clearly a key
factor in outmigration.

' amenities: the desirable or useful features of a place

86 UNIT 3
3 Another reason people leave rural areas is that they often do not have a
lot ot conveniences, such as entertainment and shops. Young people usually
leave areas that do not exhibit attractive qualities, such as exciting social and
cultural events ( McGranahan, Cromartie, and Wojan ). In my opinion, this is
true because when you are young, you want to learn and know about life, and
larger cities have many more things to do and experience. In addition, data in a
2013 USDA report also shows that when people retire they will leave tor better 3 Analyze Writing Skills
services and entertainment (“Population” ), which enhance their quality of life. In paragraph 3, the
writer uses two sources
These quality ot life concerns have played a major role in outmigration from to support her topic
sentence . Circle them .
many rural areas.
4 A lack ot access to health care makes people leave. According to the National
Council of State Legislatures NCSL), 90 percent of physicians work in cities,
and over three - quarters of rural counties do not have enough health care
professionals to serve the population. This means that families with children
will have to travel far to get basic health care and older adults will not get the
attention that they need. It seems logical that with fewer health care services,
both families and older adults would choose to leave tor metropolitan areas.
5 In sum, a shortage ot job opportunities, lack ot amenities, and difficulty
4 Analyze Writing Skills
getting health care are compelling causes ot outmigration. More attention
Look at paragraph 5 .
should be paid to this phenomenon since 20 percent ot the population live in What kind of comment
these areas and their quality ot life is important, too. I will probably move to does the writer make in
the last sentence? Circle
the city, but I would like one day to return to my town. However, my town may your answer.
not be able to sustain itself until then. a a prediction
b a recommendation
Works Cited
Frey, William H A Population Slowdown for Smil 11 Town America " Er0 0femjr5. edu. Brookings Institution ,
. ,

31 Mar. 2014 Web* 2 Aug 2014


. . ,

McGranahan, David , John Cromartie, and Timothy \Vbjan. NnnMietropolrfciH Outtmgrotion Counties : Some Are Poor, Many Are
Prosperous ERR 107 U, S. Dept of Agriculture, Nov 2010 Web 1 1 July 2014,
, . , , , .

Rural Health NCSL . National Conference of State Legislatures, n d Web, 2 Aug 2014,
, , , ,

United States, Dept- of Agriculture Population and Migratiti#: Overview, 3 Apr 2014 Web 1 1 July 2014
, , , , ,

3.1 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.


1 What is the main idea of this essay?
2 Which paragraphs deal with reasons
people leave rural communities?
3 What ideas presented here about rural or
urban communities have you experienced?

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 87


tit 1
& * 3.2 Outline the Writer's Ideas
Complete the outline for "Rural Communities Left Behind" with the ideas in the box .

Lack of access to health care makes people leave


Accounting example
Families with children have to travel far for health care
When people retire, they leave for better services and conveniences
Jobs in larger cities usually have a higher salary
Rural areas often do not have a lot of conveniences

ESSAY OUTLINE

.
I Introduction - - -
p 11 f P 11 i P II! !p ""i i P
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -
II i r i i r 11 i p ii sP I sP 1i p i sp i i r 11 eP II ep i ep 1i p iB p i p 11 i p i sP I P 1B P II s r i f r 11 i P IsP I sP 1iP II s P I B p 11 i p ii i P I s P *I i p nsP I f P 11 i P IsP I P 1iP II eP I B p 11 i p ii sP IiP 1 sP IsP I B P II i P IIP IIP I s P II s P I f P 11 i P II s P Ifp

Thesis Outmigration happens for many reasons, but the most important are fewer job !! P I fP IIP !! P I fP IIP !! P ‘

Statement

opportunities, lack of amenities, and inaccess ible heaIth care . fP ifp !! P IIP IIP SIP IIP IIP SIP IIP IIP SIP ISP IIP SIP ISP IIP SIP ISP IIP SIP

Body
Paragraph 1:
Cause 1
.
II Limited number of decent employment opportunities 11
- - - -- -- - - - - -- -- - - - - - -- - - - - --
P 11 BP 11 SP 11I p 1Sp 1SP 11I P 11IP 11 IP 11I P 1BP 1IP 11 S P 11 SP 11 IP 11 I P 11IP 1!P 11I P 11 fP 11 IP 11I P 1 B P *1 B P
- - -
11I P 11IP 11 IP»

Supporting
Idea 1
.
A Fewer good jobs and more competition

Detaif 1 Young people want good careers (McOranahan) r


- - - - -- - -
ii ir 11i p iisP II sP ISP IISP II s p i e p
-- --i IP I PPIIIPPI

Detail P
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* lB 1 P 1 P 1ISP 1 P 1 P 1I IP 1 I I P 1 P 1I BP 1 P 1 B P P 1 B P P 1 B P P1 I I P P 1 1 B P P I P
-- -- -
I!P B!P 1 E l B P E P1 P I P1
- -
PP 1 B PP 1 PPI PP
-- B P1 B1 P P1 1 B P ai i P B1 1 B
- PBS
- - - - - -- - - -
P 111P 11 BP 1 B ‘1 B P 1 BP 11 P 1 P 1 P 1
- - - -- -- - - -- -
P 1B BP 1B P 1 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 11

Supporting &
Idea 2

Detail 1,.Paralegal example. - s pp i iPMI s PPII i r


-
PP 1S PP pp 8
- 1 S
- - -
11 II1
11IP 118P
— — --
1 8P 18P
- 118P 1 P 18P
- --11 8P 1 P P1 1 I P P I

Body
Paragraph 2: - - - -- -- - - - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - - - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - - -- -- - - - - -- -- - - -
P 11 B P 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 11 B P 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 11 B P 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 1 BP 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 11 B P 11 B P 11 BP 1 BP 1B P 11 BP 11 B P

Cause 2

Supporting
Idea 1
.
A Young people leave areas that are not attractive and exciting (McGranahan)

Detail .
1 My opinion - young people want to learn and experience new things I B P 1 8Pf
- -- - - --
1SP 18 P 18 r 1S8

Supporting
Idea 2
PPI B
-- B
--- B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---B B
-- ---
B B
-- ---
B B
--- B
-- ---B B
-- ---
B

88 UNIT 3
Body
Paragraph 3: IV.
Cause 3

Supporting A. 90 percent of physicians work in cities (NCSL)


Idea 1

Detail —
r i PP 1r r
-
r P

Detail 2, 0Ider aduIts do net get the medical attention that they need

.
V Conclusion

O Cause and Effect Essays: Organization


Writers analyze cause and effect relationships to show important reasons why something
happened (its causes), or to show how something has changed (its effects). While you may be
asked to write a traditional cause and effect essay for a composition class, you will more often
use this skill to support an argument.

Read the following outlines that show two ways to organize a cause and effect essay.

Organization A: Many Causes, One Effect Organization B: Many Effects, One Cause
WRITING PROMPT : Why are more people WRITING PROMPT: How has migration
around the world moving from rural to from rural to urban areas changed the way
urban areas ? people live?
Introduction Introduction

-
Thesis: Rural to-urban migration results Thesis: Urbanization has resulted in
from a lack of job opportunities, difficult overcrowding in many cities, but has also
farming conditions, and poor health care in helped people support rural relatives and
rural areas. changed the status of women.
Body paragraph 1 (Cause 1 ): Lack of ruraljobs Body paragraph 1 (Effect 1): Overcrowding

A Most work is low -paying farm work A UN: 3 billion people in cities now; will
3 USDA: Rural incomes “substantially double by 2050
lower” 3 863 million live in dirty, crowded slums
Body paragraph 2 (Cause 2): Farming is difficult Body paragraph 2 (Effect 2): Supporting
relatives
A Major droughts in California and
elsewhere A City workers send money to rural
3 Farm work harder and riskier than relatives
before 3 $ 250 billion sent home every year

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 89


Organization A: Many Causes, One Effect Organization B: Many Effects, One Cause
Body paragraph 3 (Cause 3): Poor rural health Body paragraph 3 (Effect 3): Status of women
care
A Women in cities have fewer babies
A Fewer hospitals nearby S Women receive more education in cities
& Hard to find specialists, e,g.,
obstetricians
Conclusion Conclusion

3.3 Notice
Look at each organizational pattern. Circle T if the statements are true or F if the
statements are false.

Organization A
1 Rural-to- urban migration is presented as a cause in this essay. T F
2 The writer discusses more than one effect in this essay. T F
3 The writer discusses one cause in each body paragraph. T F
Organization B
1 Rural-to- urban migration is presented as a cause. T F
2 The body paragraphs in this essay focus on effects. T F
3 The writer discusses more than one effect in each body paragraph. T F

THE INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH IN CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS


Like other introductory paragraphs, a cause and effect introductory paragraph engages readers
and prepares them to understand and consider the ideas that the writer will present.
A cause and effect introduction
• mentions the causes or the effects of the situation.
• makes it clear why the topic is important.
• provides background information on the situation.
• states the causes or effects in the thesis statement.
Writers use the language below to indicate causes or effects: The thesis statement for a
cause and effect essay clearly states whether the writer will focus on causes or effects. Below
are examples of good thesis statements that focus on causes. Notice the words in bold that
indicate causes.
There are three main causes of illness that can occur when moving to another country: changes in
diet; being unprepared for a new climate, and stress .
Rural- to-urban migration results from a lack of job opportunities; difficult farming conditions, and
poor health care in rural areas.

90 UNIT 3
Urban areas in many parts of the world are experiencing tremendous population growth due to
migration and improved health care.
Language that introduces effects includes: ... consequences of ...., ... leads / has led to ..., . v v

contributes to ... the effects of ..., because ... and ... has (positive/ negative) effects on.
Below are examples of good thesis statements that focus on effects. Notice the words in bold
that indicate effects.
Traveling internationally for work contributes to personal growth in many ways; including improved
communication skills, increased awareness of global politics, and an enhanced ability to get along
with diverse groups of people.
Changing demographics in France has had positive effects on the country's fashion, food, and
popular music.
Some thesis statements do not use the language listed above to introduce causes or effects,
yet they clearly show cause and effect relationships through the words in bold. Here are two
examples:
Studies have shown that when children live abroad while growing up, they tend to have better
grades, experience faster emotional growth, and have an increased tolerance for " newness."
Moving to unfamiliar surroundings often makes people stressed, disoriented, and isolated.

rtfl
3.4 Notice
Look at the Student Model on pages 86-87. Circle the words that help you know why the
Issue is important. Underline the thesis. Which words in the thesis tell you whether the
focus is on causes or effects?

&
3.5 Complete the Introduction
Read the prompts for cause and effect essays. Then write a thesis statement.
WRITING PROMPT 1: What are three reasons that people might choose to leave their home
country and start a life in a new one ?

Thesis statement:

WRITING PROMPT 2: Many people agree that moving is stressful. What are the positive or
negative effects of moving to a new home ?

Thesis statement: 1 1 1

i j .
ft .
J i I .
J J H ft I .. .
l d l E L I i B I I I J B f t l 1 .
ft I I a E .
L I Ji S .
ft I

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 91


3.6 Apply It to Your Writing
Think about the ideas you wrote for your own essay in Section 1 on page 81.
Write some sentences for background information on your topic. Remember to
tell your reader why your topic is important.
l i l l l I FI
3
I
‘ ri
3
l l l l i i i l

.. .
i. i J a i i i 1 a
-. i i a b i l l j a JI II 4 B a a L

m A .1 i m A a a a .
B a ii ii h .
i i

i i i i i i i i i B

ill B Ji J I J J J I J a J II a i a a n i l i a u a u

BODY PARAGRAPHS
Each body paragraph develops a main point, in other words, a single cause or a single effect.
The topic sentence of a cause or effect body paragraph:

• states the cause or effect idea.


• connects the idea to the thesis statement.
A good cause or effect topic sentence uses connecting words such as one, another; and
synonyms of the cause or effect to connect it the thesis statement:
• One [ significant / important / ...] effect/ cause of ... is ...
• Another effect / cause of ... is ...

• One/ Another reason why ...


Read the example below. Notice that the topic sentence repeats the key words of outmigration
and reason and paraphrases the effect fewer good job opportunities in the thesis statement.
Thesis statement: Outmigration happens for many reasons, but some common factors are
(fewer good Job opportunities) lack of amenities, and inaccessible health care.
Topic sentence, body paragraph 1: One reason for outmigration is a
(limited number of decent employment opportunities )
'

Each body paragraph contains supporting ideas and details that make the ideas clear and
interesting to the reader. Read the example below. Notice how the detail gives an interesting
personal example that explains the idea that young people "'prefer exciting social and cultural
events " .
SUPPORTING IDEA
Young people usually leave areas that do not exhibit attractive qualities, such as exciting social and
DETAIL (PERSONAL EXAMPLE )
cultural events (McGranahan, Cromartie, and Wojan). In my opinion, this is true because when you
are young, you want to learn and know about life, and larger cities have many more things to do
and experience.

92 UNIT 3
Below in the chart are words and phrases that writers often use to explain cause and effect
relationships:

WORDS AND PHRASES TO SHOW CAUSE AND EFFECT

because Because they have just moved on to campus, many freshmen get lost
easily.

because of Freshmen get lost easily on campus because of their recent move
to campus.

since Freshmen get lost easily on campus since they have just moved to
the university.

due to Freshmen get lost easily on campus due to the fact that they have
just moved to campus.

as a result Freshmen have just moved to campus and, as a result, get lost easily.

as a consequence / Freshmen have just moved to the university and, consequently, get
consequently lost easily on campus .

therefore Freshmen have just moved to campus and, therefore, get lost easily.

so Freshmen have just moved to campus, so they get lost easily.

so that Freshmen are given maps to the campus so that they will not get lost
easily

for this reason Freshmen have just moved to campus, and for this reason, they can
get lost easily.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 93


3.7 Practice Writing Ideas
Read the writing prompt below. Then complete the first body paragraph by writing the
missing topic sentence.
WRITING PROMPT: What are three reasons that people might choose to leave their home country
and start a life in a new one ?

The desire to improve one's economic circumstances is very strong. When job prospects in one's
home country are limited, people tend to move to places where they think they can provide a
better life for themselves and their families. The search for improved job prospects is the major
reason people immigrate, according to the United Nations Population Fund. The UNFPA points
out that many countries that previously had large populations moving away for work, such as
Argentina, Ireland, and South Korea, are now experiencing their own influx of immigrants looking
for better prospects ("Migration"). This trend illustrates one of the most significant reasons that
people move from their home country.

.*
tf 3.8 Practice Writing Ideas
Read the thesis statement and first body paragraph topic sentence for a cause and effect
essay on moving. Complete the body paragraph with your own ideas.
Thesis: Moving is considered to be one of the top causes of stress because it's expensive, it's
disorienting, and it can cause feelings of isolation.
One stressful effect of moving is that people encounter many unexpected expenses.

& 3.9 Connect Causes and Effects

Circle the best answers to complete the cause and effect sentences.
1 Redevelopment of failing cities in the United States has brought populations back to
run-down and abandoned urban centers. People come back due to
a the lower cost of living in these areas

b the lower cost of living in rural areas


2 Urban development has been considered a negative thing in many developing nations because

a it improves the living conditions of everyone, including the poor


b it requires funding that might be better used to provide basic needs such as food and health care

94 UNIT 3
3 Researching new homes in an unfamiliar city can be challenging. Therefore t -_

a many experts suggest consulting a real estate agent


b it's a good idea to research new homes on your own
4 Studies show that one of the most important parts of preparing children for a move is
finding ways to continue their existing friendships so that r *

a they will not experience loneliness


b they will be able to make new friends
5 People tend to . Consequently, housing is abundant in many rural areas with closed
factories.
a remain in rural areas to be near their families
b move away from areas lacking in economic opportunities

& 3.10 Apply It to Your Writing


Use the cause and effect expressions in the chart on page 93 to write three cause
and effect sentences about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1 on page 81.
r r ii r r I T B r r r Ti ir T 1 BBT r r nil B I r t i B r r ii u r i u B r n i B Bin a u r “ I B P I I I B I I I I B I I I I E I I I I E I I I I E I I I I B I I I B B I I I B i l l ii n r 1 B B B I 1 F I B a a B a a B a a B r a B B r a B B r

i i i i . a i a i A A i a H .i
i i B k

m fa a B fa A.a a a fa .
a a a fa fa k a a fa fa l a a fa fa i .a a fa fa .
i a a fa .
a a a a fa .a a a fa fa a. a a fa . a. a a fa fa a a .
a a .fa a a a fa fa a. a a a fa fa a a a. a a a a, a a a a a. .
a a a a a. a a .a
i a a .
a a a k i. a a a k i a a f a f a i a a f a k i a a a a. a a a a a. a a a f a a i a a f a k a a a f a k i a a . fa L a a G a fa a a fa k a a a a L a a fa a .i a a

+4 i 4
p f P 1 4 p p p P p p p 4 p 4 p
*

T "P I 1

I a fa I . L fa L fa a fa i a B a fa fa a a . j B Bill B i L a a B a .fa a. a B a . a a a a . a. a a
i , fa a B .a
i B i. a. .
a a i a a L a a a a a B a a B a a L L a a E L a a a L a a k a a a fa L a a L i a a a a a a a B L a a B L a a B L a B L L i a

fa fa mm fa .
a fa a . .a .a
B .a . a.
> .
a a a a .a
i .
i a fa A: fa fa a fa
- fa fa
- fa fa .
a fa .
a k a fa a ..
f a -
! h * .
a § a fa fa a fa .
f a a

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 95


THE CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH
A concluding paragraph for a cause and effect essay summarizes the thesis and ends with a final
comment This comment can be an observation, prediction, or recommendation.
Read the concluding paragraph below from the Student Model. Notice that the first sentence
of the conclusion restates the thesis and the last sentence gives a prediction.
In sum, a shortage of job opportunities, lack of amenities, and difficulty getting health care
are compelling causes of outmigration. More attention should be paid to this phenomenon since
20 percent of the population live in these areas and their quality of life is important, too. I will
probably move to the city, but I would like one day to return to my town. However, my town may
not be able to sustain itself until then.

3.1 1 Write Final Comments


Complete the concluding paragraph with a final comment.
In conclusion, moving can be very traumatic for children because it can cause an increased
susceptibility to illness, low self -esteem, and depression. However, the parents' attitude and the
way in which they handle a move with their children can make all the difference in the world.
P f f
-- PS
" " p

l i n i i n n i i r

.
a i i a a B . . in i a a .
ii i i a a ..
i i a a .
i a a .
B I .
a a B I JIB L J 1 a a l l J 1 .. . fa . . . .. .
B J J 1 f a I I J I K I I J I B I I J I B I i J l l i l J i l l h l 1 J I k II J I k I J . . . a ..
B B 1 J i l l k J I I a . . .
a I I 1I .
I I II .
l l J J Il l J . .
b I I J 1 b I I J II I 1 4 . . .
B B I BJIbl l J l k l 1 . a fi B I I 4 a B I I J B I i l J B f a h l J J f a l i l J B f c l . 1 II B L J . ..
B 1 i j a B i . i a B i i a a i . J J

& 3.1 2 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the ideas you wrote for your own essay in Section I. What might
your final comment be ? Write some ideas below.
II B I a B B i . a i a a n a a i i n n n B B El B B El

Bi k J a s ii i.a a a ii i.. a a a .
B J J a
-.a 1 1 a ii 1 a.. k a a a . k .
a a a a k a a a a . B k a a a k a a> a a k .
a a> a a a a a a a a a a a a a .
a a a a .
1 a a a a 1 . a a a a ..a
1 .
a a a a a a a a ,a a a a a . .
1» a a a a ..a
1 a a B ..
a a a a 1 a a a a a a a a a a a a a . a 1 a a a a a a 1 a a 1 a a : a a a a a a a a a 1 a

- p ri " P ri
- p r P r P r p r pr
- 'P r 1 p «p 1
- P *P
-- PV
-- P T
- p P r P P T1 PI * P t ? pf § f ? *

r r 1 P P r 1 1 P P r P P P r s P P P P P P 1 P P P1 P P T 'i P P 11 - P P -r P P T ! P P11 a p p 11 a p r 1 B P r 1 B P r 1 1 p 1 1 P 1 P I:
1 P P r 1 P P I s r 11 P P 11 B P!1 1 p r 1 s p r 1 9 P PI 1 m P I
11 P P I
11 P P I
11 1 P I 1 e P I
11 s p 11 P P I
11 B P r 11 e P II1 P 1 m r ri1 m r 1 11 P P 1 a p p i a p p ci p ci

1 1 1 fl i l l B B r B IS B B IH 1 B P i l l B P i l l B B Wl W f l B IITI B P I T 1 B P 1
IT B B I I I III I I f l II I I 1I P l i t 1 1I P U B 1I 1 1 1 f l IIP 1 f l II1f l f l I 1 1 1 1I I I I 1I T i l II 1 1 1 f l B FI fl fl fl 1B BI I I P ' I I P ’ I B P 1 B B P fl B B B Fl fl B P 1 B B a A B 1 1 fl B I fl fl B I n a B 1 f l B B I f l B P P f l B P B El B P I i a B p r a B p r a B p r a B B p a B p p P

a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a 1 . a a a a a a a i .
a a a a i i a a a i i a a a i^ i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a s a i i a E a .
i i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i a a a a i a a a a i a a a .
i i a a a .
i i a a a .
i l a a a .
i l a a a .
i l a a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a a a i B a s a i a a a a a 1 1 1 a a 1 1 1 a a 1 1 a a a a a a a i a a a i l a a a i l a a a a a a 1

a a a - aaaa .
a a a a a aa a
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- - a a a a a a a . a
- a a a a aa a a . a a aa a . a a a .
a a a B a . a » a
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1
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a a a a a a a a a a a .

P !
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[
" P 1 p p p r v p p p1 P I 1 i1 i1 1 p p1 p BP 1 P P ! P ! P 'P

96 UNIT 3
4 SHARPEN YOUR SKILLS

In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

O Writing Skill 1: Paraphrasing


Paraphrasing is an essential skill in U.S. academic culture, and you must practice it in different
subjects and with different kinds of essays. Paraphrasing means putting someone else's ideas in
your own words, changing the order and the language without changing the original meaning.
(You must also cite the source of these ideas.) Paraphrasing is important because it gives a
consistent voice to your paper and shows that you understand your subject. Here are some
useful strategies for creating a good paraphrase.

STRATEGIES FOR PARAPHRASING

Original Quotation from Robert Huesca:


"When I studied in Mexico City in 1980, telephone access was neither easy nor inexpensive
nor of good quality. Attempts to call home were infrequent, costly, and often unsuccessful,
which led to feelings of isolation and vulnerability."

l Use synonyms or antonyms Huesca says that phone calls from Mexico City in
for key words (nouns, verbs, 1980 were expensive and of poor quality.
adjectives, etc.).

2 Change the parts of speech According to Huesca, calling home while abroad used
of some words (verb to noun, to failjegularly and would leave students isolated and
etc.). vulnerable.

3 Break up the ideas and /or Huesca points out that students studying abroad
combine them differently. often felt lonely because of the difficulty of calling
home, which was expensive and often failed.

4 Connect to your own ideas to Huesca talks about the problems of calling home
integrate the quote into your while studying abroad over 30 years ago, noting the
paper topic. cost and the poor connections, but he does not point
out how technology has changed things.

To successfully paraphrase text, you must:


1 Use at least two of the above strategies to change the text so that it reads like your writing -
but make sure you do not change the ideas.
2 include the name of the source. Use phrases like the following to give credit to the source:
According to [author / title], ...
[ Author ] states / claims that ...
In [ name of article/ book ], [name of author ] states / claims that ...

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 97


& 4.1 Practice Paraphrasing
Work with a partner. Read the following quotes. Use the strategies in the chart on
page 97 to make good paraphrases.
i "'Kids who are economically distressed and those at the top end of the socioeconomic
spectrum are more likely to move than those in the middle." - Nancy Darling, "Moving Is
Tough for Kids "

.
B kl 4 J B k 4 4 . - - . .a I 4 E 1 J 4 4 k Bi k k 4 4 a k 4 4 B k 4 3 k k 4 4 k k 4 a k k 4 k k k l 4 4 k . .1 4 a .
k i J

- f p I pi p + !“ a P r + ^ i fe P +a f r +H f
1 p "i
^ * M Hi tl P M 3 h +i .
i .
a m p » 4 1 -
I « I + I § i r

2 "Persons who left rural Pennsylvania moved to counties with generally lower unemployment,
more business starts, and higher wages." - Center for Rural Pennsylvania, "The Outs and Ins
of Rural Migration"

r i n n r t i i a i i a i i i i i i n r i i i i i i r i i r r n i i i i i i i n i i i i n i i B i a m i a i' n i n i M i i i i f l i i n i n i i i i B P

a k 4 4 a k 4 a k m m I 4 fa a a k a a k i a k k 4 a k In 4 a b 4 a b 4 a b .
k i 4 a a k .
i i 4 a k 4 a k i a

4 4
- k k 4 . k m .
m k k 4 .a k k a ..
4 4 m m . -
k 4 4 k .
k 4 4 m m .. .... k k 4 4 . . k k 4 4 . k k 4 4 k 4 k k k 4 4 h . k * k 1 . k k 4

3 "Internal migration within countries is also on the rise, as people move in response to
inequitable distribution of resources, services and opportunities, or to escape violence,
natural disaster or the increasing number of extreme weather events." - The United Nations
Population Fund
r i a P i r P r

iB r s p r i B r l i a r i a s! r a a B P r a

» m
i ii r '1 a i I '1 a i IF H 1 II ft 1

4 "We identify two types of cross-cultural contact: a) meetings that occur between two
societies when individuals travel from their place of origin to another country for a specific
purpose and a limited amount of time [...], and b) meetings within multi-cuitural societies
among its ethnically diverse permanent residents." - Stephen Bochner, "Culture Shock Due
to Contact with Unfamiliar Cultures"

l l El a n i k El B B I . i a i i a B B a B B a B r 4 fl II a k a i i

.
1 4 .
k I I 4 B k k Bi I J 4 k k .
l J 4 k k l 4 4 k k l 4 4 k I 4 . k I 4 k k l l 4 k .
k 1 1 4 . k k l 4 4 k k 4 4 k I I 4 k l l 4 k . 4. 4
I 3 B k I 4 4 k .
l 4 4 k k k 4 4 k k .
l 4 4 k . .
l I 4 4 k l I 4 B . . k k l .
k I 4 4 B k 4 . 4 4 B k .
k 4 a h . .
14 4 k I 4 4 B B I 4 B B . I 4 . . .
4 B b 4 4 B B k I 4 B B k 1 4 B B k 4 4 B B k 4 . . . .
4 B B 4 4 B B k 4 4 B k B 4 4 B k B 4 4 B k . . .
4 4 B k k 4 4 B k 4 4 B k I 4 4 k k I 4 .

98 UNIT 3
O Writing Skill 2: Avoiding Fragments, Run-On Sentences, and
Comma Splices
Complete sentences are expected in academic writing. Using sentence fragments, run-ons, and
comma splices undermines the validity of your writing.

i A complete sentence in English has a subject and a verb, and it expresses a complete idea:
SUBJECT VERB
A significant cause of migration is lack of economic opportunity.
2 When a sentence has two independent clauses, the clauses are joined by a comma and a
conjunction or a semi-colon.
INDEPENDENT CLAUSE 1 INDEPENDENT CLAUSE 2
Freshmen have just moved on to campus; so they get lost easily.
Moving is especially stressful for children; the number of changes is overwhelming for them.

Below in the chart are ways to identify and avoid the common errors that writers make.

HOW TO AVOID FRAGMENTS, RUN-ON SENTENCES, AND COMMA SPLICES

i A sentence fragment is a sentence that does not contain a subject or a verb and
does not express a complete idea.
Missing verb: Another reason people leave rural counties for metropolitan suburbs and
is
cities for employment.
It i
Missing a subject: Afs not easy to find a job in a small town.
-

2 A run-on sentence has two or more independent clauses that are joined without
a comma or a conjunction.
, and
Moving is stressful it can cause physical and emotional problems.
A

3 .
A comma splice is similar to a run-on sentence It is when two or more
.
independent clauses are connected only by a comma Notice the three ways that
you can correct the sentence .
and
Add and: There aren' t enough services in rural areas, young families are moving out.
A

.Y
b Add a period: There aren't enough services in rural areas, young families are
A
moving out.
»

Add a semicolon: There aren' t enough services in rural areas, young families are
A
moving out.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 99


4.2 Correct Mistakes

The following sentences are fragments or run-ons, or have comma splices. Rewrite the
sentences correctly.

i Moving from one city to another.

u I a i r i a i r l i n e r a E r a n r i i a r r r a r a i r a r a a i a ir a r r a i r i a i a r i a r i a a a i r

2 Tourism has helped the global economy it has harmed the environment.
a a i i lit J i l l a i a i J II L I I I I I I I B J l I J l> I I I I i n J L L I I m a m .
i

. a. a
B h i m k k a a .
k i B i .a a B .
i a a
- I 4 m m i JI a .
AJ a a k k i a k kii a .. a
k 1 a m k aa k k i a a
- k a a a k k a a a k k a a a k k a a a k k a a k k k a a k k i a a k k i a .
I I .a .
a k i i a a k a a K k i a B k i a a k k i a a k k i a B k k i a a k k a a a k k a a a k a a a a k a . . . i a

3 Everyone who comes to the United States must have a visa, people who work in the U.S.
must get a special kind of visa and must be supported by a company in a particular field.

a a a a a a L L a a 4 I, I I I 4 L J I L I I J I I I I J L I J i l l a .
i i i i i i k i i i a L i i i a L i i J a L j a i l a a m la a a la a i. n i l a i l a L ii . L U a i a a a

. E B k . ... .
a i k k . -
a a k k .
a a
-

4 It has always been challenging for immigrant job applicants to be treated equally they are
viewed as less important than citizens.
a a a a a a i i i

5 Many believe moving to a warm location like Florida is easy for everyone recent research
shows that changing climates can cause depression and anxiety.
a a a j a i .
l a I L a a i a i j a a la a a

k k a k k 1 4 a k k .
a 4 a k k a a a k i. a k k d . a a
- i .i a a k k a a a k I: a k .
a a a k k i a a
- k i a a B k a a a k k . a a k k a .
a k k a a a k k .
a a a k k .
a a a k k a a a k i, a a i k a a k k a, a a k i a

© Grammar for Writing: Present Perfect and Present Perfect


Progressive
In general, we use the present perfect to emphasize a time in the past up to now. The time
period may or may not be completed, but in both cases, there is a connection to the present.
We use the present perfect progressive to describe an action that started in the past and to
emphasize that it is still going on.

PRESENT PERFECT AND PRESENT PERFECT PROGRESSIVE


l The present perfect or the present perfect progressive can be used to talk about habitual
actions that began in the past and continue in the present, especially with verbs like get, go,
increase, live, study, and work . The meaning is the same.
In the United States, it is rare to encounter people who have lived in the same place their
entire lives.
In the United States, it is rare to encounter people who have been living in the same place their
entire lives.

£1
100 UNIT 3 ;-
2 The present perfect is for completed actions, and the present perfect progressive is for
actions still in progress.
Immigrants who have adjusted to their new country often find it difficult to return home.
The refugees have been adjusting to a new culture and hope to feel more comfortable here in
the future.
3 The present perfect progressive is better for actions that are temporary.
People have lived in this city for hundreds of years.
Since the storm, many residents have been living with relatives while their homes are
being repaired.
4 Use the present perfect to express how much/ many. Use the present perfect progressive to
express how long.
More than 10,000 people have moved to the city in the last year, (more than 10,000 = how
many)
People have been moving out of the country for several years now. (for several years = how long)
5 The present perfect progressive cannot be used with be and other stative verbs.
Geographic mobility has been on the rise in the United States for several decades. (NOT has -

bccn being on the rise)

4.3 Practice
Complete the paragraph with the present prefect or present perfect progressive forms of
the verbs in parentheses. Sometimes both forms are correct.

Some rural communities I I J (experience) new growth over the last


0)
several years because they offer natural beauty and amenities to residents. Part of this change
has come about because dozens of new job opportunities (develop)
(2)
in areas like customer service and tourism. Some residents believe these changes are good,
while others .... r ii n p p l i p (increase) their advocacy work against the influx of
( 3)
certain kinds of businesses. For example, in one small resort town in Wyoming, residents
i a k il l .
i cii i a b 1 4 1 1 .
4 B I 4 .
I l i b 4 HI: l i .l 4 L I ( protest) the recent attempts of a large chain retailer to gain permits
(4)
to build a new store. The permit has not yet been granted by the town council, and the people
believe they can stop this unwanted growth. The debate ( be) a
(5)
difficult one, but it is a common topic for similar communities. What all residents agree on in
these growing, rural communities is that they f1
! r i'H (live) in changing
(6)
communities for years and that they should be in charge of how their communities change.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 101


Avoiding Common Mistakes ©
Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using the
present perfect and present perfect progressive in academic writing.

1 Use the present perfect for an action that is completed. Do not use the present
perfect progressive.
have finished
Now that workers have-been finishing the new airport runway, international flights can
A
land there.
2 Use been when forming the present perfect progressive .
have been asking
Interns hove asking for more low -cost housing in large cities in the United States for
A
many years.
3 Use has with singular third- person subjects. Use hove with all other subjects.
has
Professor Dixon have spent years studying the effects of frequent moves on the children of
A
military families .

4.4 Editing Task


Find and correct five more mistakes in the following paragraph.

Culture shock is common when moving to a new country, but many people experience

cultural difficulties when moving between regions within large countries like the United States.

A new study released by Progress University examines how moving to New England ( a group

of states in the northeastern United States) from many other parts of America comes with
been
challenges. Dr. Rudolph Abrams has studying 25 families that are new to New England for
the last five years, gathering data on community and school integration and measuring mood.

His completed study shows that most of these 25 families has reported missing favorite foods

not available in local grocery stores. Others have been describing the initial difficulty they

experienced getting to know people in workplaces, schools, and community groups. However,
those families now report significant improvement in their local relationships and increased

satisfaction with the move to New England. Other data shared from the study include trouble

with accented English. In one example response quoted by the researchers, a father of two

102 UNIT 3
said that he "has working with a man whose accent [he] could not understand. Assuming the

man was a new immigrant, [he ] asked what country he grew up in and was embarrassed to be

told America - and Maine" (Abrams et ai. 6). The same man reported that he had never lived

outside Alabama and never traveled outside the region until moving north for his new job ( 7).

Dr. Abrams and his colleagues have already been spending more than five years studying these

subjects and will expand the research to other families in the future. All said, this work so far has
presented concrete evidence for something that has coming up in conversations about national
migration for a long time.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 103


© Avoiding Plagiarism
Paraphrasing is a useful skill to avoid plagiarizing, but it must be done carefully.

I wanted to use the ideas in this quotation in my paper: According


to the World Health Organization (WHO), in 2005, approximately
1.6 billion adults (age 15+) worldwide were overweight, at least
400 million of whom were obese /' I paraphrased it in this way:
"In 2005, there were over 1 billion adults over the age of 15
around the world who were overweight, and approximately
one-third of those people were obese." My instructor said I
plagiarized, but I thought I didn't! What am I doing wrong? I
thought I understood paraphrasing. - Olga

Dear Olga,
You've made a good attempt in your paraphrase. You've changed some key words, which
is a good start. One thing I notice is that some of your paraphrase isn't quite accurate.
For example, one-third of 1.6 billion isn't 400 million. Accuracy in paraphrasing is very
important. Always go back and make sure your details mean the same as the original. It is
also important to change the structure of the sentences, not just a few words. Finally, and
very importantly, you forgot to cite your source. Remember that original research, data,
and statistics are not common knowledge. Always tell where this information is from, even
when you paraphrase.
Good luck!
Professor Wright

STEPS TO WRITING A GOOD PARAPHRASE


i Read the material carefully for meaning.
• Take notes on key ideas. Don't copy whole sentences.
• Include the source in your notes.
• Talk to someone about the ideas and details, so you are sure you understand them.
2 Write your paraphrase from memory, or use your notes to help you.
3 Compare your work with the original.
• Be sure your information is correct and accurate.
• Be sure you have used your own words: synonyms, sentence structure, word forms.
• Be sure you cite the original source, both in the text and on your Works Cited page.

104 UNIT 3
4.5 Practice
Read the quotation and the three paraphrases. Discuss with a partner. What is the error
in each paraphrase ?
" In 2012, 13.7 percent of householders living with their own children moved."
Source: David Ihrke, U.S. Census Bureau website

1 According to David Ihrke, in 2012, 1 3.7% of houses with children moved (U.S. Census
Bureau).
2 According to the David Ihrke, 13.7% of children moved (U. S. Census Bureau).
3 Nearly 14% of parents with children at home moved in 2012.

-
t' 4.6 Applying the Strategies
Read the quotation in Activity 4.5. Follow the steps to writing a good paraphrase. Write a
paraphrase of the quote.
J m m ..
m in 4 m J k I

I I I I I I I I : : l : I I I B I I 1 fl B I I FI B I I II I I I I I I I I I I I I I I r i i n r i i n i i i i

i
5 WRITE YOUR ESSAY

in this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

STEP 1: BRAINSTORM
Work with a partner. Follow the steps below to brainstorm more ideas.
1 Before you start, notice how the writer of the Student Model brainstormed. She wrote many
ideas. Then she crossed out the causes she thought were not important enough to use in her
essay.

WRITING PROMPT: Why have so many people moved out of rural communities in recent
years? Give at least three reasons.
Causes Effect
not enoughjobs

IwnngTor -yotmg-pcople

Many people
are leaving rural
communities

lack of access to health care

want services / amenities of city

2 Write the ideas that you wrote in Section 1, page 81, in one of the cause-effect graphic
organizers below. Include ideas from the Your Turns throughout the unit. Brainstorm
more ideas.

Causes Effect

106 UNIT 3
Cause Effects

When you are finished, circle the three most important causes or effects and write them
here. Think about how you will support each one.

l fa s. .a fa fa fa ... 4 fa 4 .
fa fa 4 . -
fa 4 4 fa .
fa 4 4 4 .fa 4 fa fa 4 4 fa 4

2 1 » T MI F T t H I P P r 1 B P P P P !
l B
" P P I B B
" P l B " P P 1 1
" P P i B B
" P ! '! B
" P l
*
1
B P P I l ! B B
" r 1 B P P 1 B P B B P B B P P B B P P 1 B P P B P 1 B
" P P B B B P P 1 B
" P P B P B P P B B P P T T B B P P B B B P B

3 n i l i '
"i 9 i i r r i r i i r r p n r r i i p r i n r r n 9 P I FI i i l l i i r i n I I FI r P I 9 I I r I I I r i I I i i i I I I 9 i i i 9 i r i r *p 9 9 n r p p 1 1 9 I I 9 P I I I I 9 9 P 9
STEP 2: DO RESEARCH: CHOOSING A TEXT TO PARAPHRASE FOR SUPPORT IN AN ESSAY
Selecting appropriate texts from credible sources is an important part of doing research.
Some credible sources are educational institutions, government agencies, and respected news
organizations. You choose texts to paraphrase based on the importance of their evidence, like
details, explanations, or examples, and how that evidence supports the main ideas in the body
paragraphs of your essay.
Sue needed to choose a text to paraphrase for support in an essay response to this prompt: The
populations of most countries are becoming less rural and more urban. What are some reasons for
this trend? Read and find out how she did it.

After identifying the main points in my thesis, 1 read several


sources and identified texts with main ideas related to my
thesis. Next, I compared the evidence in the texts to see
which one provided the best support for my main ideas. Last, I
paraphrased the text into my own words and added a citation
for the source.

Sue's Results

Thesis: Primary causes of the rapid urbanization of sub- Saharan Africa are changes in the
environment , increased economic opportunities, and population growth.

Focus of research: population growth due to rapid urbanization

So urce Text How it supports my point

1 Time, “ Urban Planet: “... the wave of urbanization isn’t shows direct link between
How Growing Cities Will just about the migration of people population growth &
Wreck the Environment into urban environments, but about larger cities (more people
Unless We Suild Them the environments themselves = more space)
Right” ( Sryan Walsh, becoming bigger to accommodate
2012) all those people.”

2 http:// www.afdb.org /, “In the developing world, Africa statistic; general


“Urbanization of Africa” has experienced the hiahest reference to African
(Mthuli Ncube, 201 2) urban growth during the last two population growth, but no
decades at 5.5% per yea rand this cause/effect given
rate of growth is expected to hold
into 2050.”

Paraphraseof chosen text: Sizes of cities are growing in two phases: first, more people move into
the cities, and then the city space must grow to fit all of the new people (Walsh).

5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


Follow the steps Sue took to choose a text to paraphrase for support in your essay.

108 UNIT 3
STEP 3: MAKE AN OUTLINE
Complete the outline below with your ideas from the previous steps.

ESSAY OUTLINE

LIntroduction

Hook Idea

Background
Ideas

Thesis
Statement
Body
Paragraph 1: .1.1.!..

Cause /Effect 1

Supporting A . »

Idea 1

Detail 1.

Detail 2_ !......
,

Supporting [3,
Idea 2

Detail 1 .
Detail 2,
Body
Paragraph 2: .1.1. #.

Cause /Effect 2

Supporting
Idea 1
A .
Detail 1 .
Detail 2.

Supporting 13.
Idea 2

Detail 1 .
Detail 2.

CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS 109


Body
Paragraph 3: IV. i r

Cause /Effect 3

Supporting
Idea 1
A. P"" p P iii PBl
"
P B I M P !! I P
"1 I P P B I I P P "!! P P 1I P P
"1 i P " S c l l P I
‘ I P M1 I P H1I P B M

Detail 1,fPPB„P
B

Detail 2 ,fPPBB,PP

Supporting
Idea 2 PBB

Detail 1,fPPB„P
B

Detail 2,fPPBB,PP I PPS'l B11 P

y. Conclusion

Ideas for a Final


I:
P

Comment

STEP 4: WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT


Now it is time to write your first draft. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.
1 Use your outline, notes, and the sentences you wrote in the Your Turns and in Step 3 above.
2 Focus on making your ideas as clear as possible.
3 Remember to add a title.

After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors.
1 Check that all sentences are complete sentences.
2 Go through and look at every comma. Is it correct? Should it be a period ?
3 Check that you have cited quotes and paraphrases.
4 Make sure your thesis statement and topic sentences are clear.

STEP 5: WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT


1 After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.

2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Academic Collocations from this unit. Are there any
that you can add to your essay ?
4 Turn to page 272 and use the Self-Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.

110 UNIT 3
COMPARISON AND

c*
%

« <

" Tell me what you eat,


and I' ll tell you who
you are."
jean Anthelme Brillat-
Savarin (1 755-1826)

About the Author:


Work with a partner. Read the quotation about food. Then answer
Jean Anthelme Brillat -
the questions. Savarin was a French
politician and lawyer who
1 What do you think the quotation means? Paraphrase the idea in your also became famous for
own words. writing about food . This
is one of his most famous
2 Is there something that you like to eat or drink which reveals something sayings .
about your personality? What is it?
3 What are some examples of the cuisine (style of cooking) of your home
country? What do these dishes show about the culture ?

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 111


1 PREPARE YOUR IDEAS

O Connect to Academic Writing


In this unit you will learn skills to help you compare and contrast ideas. While some of the
writing skills that you will use may be new to you, the skill of comparing ideas is not new. In
your everyday life you use the skill of comparison to tell someone how a movie is different from
the book it's based on, or talk about how you and one of your siblings are similar and how you
are different.

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will choose a writing prompt and reflect on it. You will develop these ideas
throughout the unit and use them to practice skills that are necessary to write your essay.
The writing prompt below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 118-120. The
student reflected on his topic and used a Venn diagram to see similarities and differences.
This helped him think of a possible thesis.

WRITING PROMPT: In U.S. grocery stores, consumers can buy both natural foods and foods
r with artificial ingredients. Some say that only natural foods are healthy, while others say that
foods with artificial ingredients are cheaper, but still healthy. In your view, is one better than
the other?

Subject A: Subject B:
Foods with Natural Foods with Artificial
Ingredients - Ingredients
DIFFERENCES DIFFERENCES

SIMILARITIES
- produced naturally - make food taste good - made in lab
- probably more nutritious - used in fast foods - some people say chemicals
and better for my health - can be good and bad for can cause cancer
- more expensive? health? - cheaper?
s r r i s P p i a p p
J L L I

My thesis: In my view, although foods with natural ingredients can be more expensive, their health
benefits make them a better choice than foods with artificial ingredients.

1.1 Notice
Work with a partner. Discuss one more similarity and one more difference. Which type of
food do you usually prefer? Why ? Share your ideas with the class.

112 UNIT 4
& 1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on your topic.

A Choose a prompt:

• Compare holiday practices and traditions related to food and eating in two cultures
( e.g., Thanksgiving in the U.S. and Lunar New Year in China). What do these traditions
tell us about the cultures they come from ?
• Choose a country. How do eating habits today differ from eating habits 50 years ago ?
How do these changes reflect general cultural changes?
• There is a debate that eating locally sourced food (food that has been produced near the
place where it is eaten) is better for the environment than eating food that is imported,
in other words, food that is transported by truck, train, or plane from far away places.
Compare the two kinds of food from a consumer's point of view. Are there more
advantages or disadvantages for them?
• A topic approved by your instructor
B Work with a partner and complete the following tasks:
1 Think about your prompt. Decide what you will focus on in your essay.
2 Complete the Venn diagram below. Think of everything you know about both subjects.
3 Write a possible thesis statement.

Subject A: Subject B:
9 rT s 9 9 p P T P P P I P T9

DIFFERENCES DIFFERENCES

SIMILARITIES

n n n n i nil n H n ii iii ni i r i : : l i n i n

.
J J J .
I I J 4 .
l a B I l J .a J l .1 a a a a L ..
J J J L I I a a .
i a j a . ..
i i a B I a i i a a i a a L a a a a Li L a a u L a a
- i a a L B a a L a a B a a B L a a B L a B L a a B a BL a B L i

Ha k a. a .
i .a. a
i .
ft m .
ft . . .
ft .
ft .
ft I L I L

r a r T p r i I i p p TT T p r r p p rT r r
9 P P T i i
^p p p T 1 S P I 1 1 P P T p i p p P I T P I T P T1 P I T P I T P T p TT B p p p

Possible thesis statement:


B B I T !
1
B P T T P T' T B P V T T T T P I T r P P 'I T P P 'I T T P P 'I T T P P T T - P P T T P P 'I' T T P P T T - P P T T T P P T P P P T T P P P T T P P P T T P P I T P P P T T P P ‘P T T P P P T T F P T* T T B P T T T P
1
' T T P I T T P P I T P I P P P P T P P

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 113


2 EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE

In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your comparison and
contrast essay. You will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of
comparison and contrast.

O Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. Many are from the Academic Word List. Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

alter (v) concentrated (adj) consequence (n) restrict (v)


commodity (n) condition (n) dramatically (adv) virtually (adv)

& 2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Match the words to their meanings. Write the letters.
A
i Early voyages to the New World had great effects almost, but not exactly
on life in Europe. One consequence was the
introduction of new foods such as the tomato.
2 Today, tomatoes grow throughout the world, but b something that can be
their cultivation is particularly concentrated in bought or sold
China, the world's top producer of the fruit.
3 Chili peppers are found in virtually every cuisine in result
the world. Almost every culture in the world enjoys
this New World vegetable.
4 Tobacco, a product used by Native Americans for existing in a particular
smoking, was an unknown commodity in Europe place in a large
until Columbus's voyages. quantity
B
i European and Native American cultures were a changed
dramatically different. There were hardly any
similarities between the two cultures.
2 In many parts of the New World, growing conditions b very noticeably
such as climate and soil quality were similar to those
in Europe.
3 The European diet was altered by Columbus's c limits
voyage to the Americas. Changes included the
addition of foods such as the tomato and the potato.
4 California restricts the importation of certain fruits. d the state that
People cannot bring them into the state because something is in
they might contain pests.

O Academic Phrases ©
Research tells us that the phrases in bold below are commonly used in academic writing.

& 2.2 Focus on Purpose

Read the paragraph. Then match the phrases in bold to the purpose, or reason why, the
writer used them.
Overeating during special occasions is another cultural habit that has lost its significance
and may no longer be beneficial for society. In ancient times the habit of overeating on
special occasions was a way to celebrate life. Food was scarce in certain seasons, and people
had to work hard to get it. Thus, people ate a lot during holidays to nourish themselves. In
the same way, they used food to celebrate their survival. This habit did not affect people's
health because they normally ate little and they were physically very active. These days, the
habit of overeating during holidays is the cause of health problems. People are likely to gain
weight during holidays because they eat but they do not exercise very much. It is important
to note, too, that modern agricultural techniques have made food more affordable at all
times during the year. As a result, people rarely go without food. In sum, the habit of eating
a great deal of food during the holidays may not be the best option for most people.

PHRASE PURPOSE
i are likely to a to bring a reader's attention to something
important about the topic
2 it is important to note b to show a similarity between ideas
3 in the same way c to show a noticeable tendency

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 115


0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "The Cost of a Global Food Chain" uses features of comparison and contrast to
strengthen his argument.
Before you read, answer this question: What kind of "cost" do you think the title is referring to?
Now read the article. Think about your answer to the question above as you read.

THE C O S T O F A

1 Check out the garlic the next time you’re


in the supermarket. In another era it likely
would have been grown in Gilroy, California,
a town that used to be known as the garlic
capital of the world. But today, chances are
that your garlic has traveled across oceans
and continents to get to your kitchen.
2 Most gallic nowadays comes from China.
Since 2003, the amount of garlic imported
from China has nearly tripled, whereas the
amount grown in California has dropped
by nearly half. This means that instead of
traveling several hundred miles to get to
you, your garlic is probably traveling many
thousands of miles. 4 So why have we shitted to purchasing
Chinese garlic? Even with all the
3 Similarly, the ships that carry the garlic from transportation costs, it is still cheaper to
China utilize highly toxic 1 bunker fuel that import garlic from China than to buy garlic
is likely to have come from distant countries grown locally. However, there are hidden
like Venezuela, a leading supplier of oil. The costs. The farmer in Gilroy is forced to
big container ships take on the fuel in South charge less for garlic and has less money in
America, then travel across the Pacific, his pocket to spend on American goods.
where they or other ships pick up the garlic Moreover, the Chinese garlic doesn’t
in China and then sail back across the ocean have the same taste or texture as that of
to the ports of Los Angeles and Long Beach . locally produced garlic. Finally, the trade
There, it is loaded on trains or trucks, which deficit2 with China gets bigger, American
in turn create additional diesel pollution. unemployment grows, and our connection
The environmental impacts are global , and to the food we eat is undermined /’
they are particularly concentrated in each of
5 The increasing globalization of food
the destination points, whether in China or
the United States, where ships , trains, trucks,
commodities isn’t j ust a concern in the
and warehouses are located. United States. For example , Frito - Lay,

toxic: poisonous 2
trade deficit: the amount by which the value of a coun
try’s imports is greater than its exports
'undermined: made weaker

116 UNIT 4
a division of PepsiCo, has successfully 7 Food has become a global product. That
introduced potato chips, a quintessential has meant we can sip Chilean wine with our
American product, into China. It has done so , French cheese. In the same way it has meant
in part, by adhering to Chinese restrictions nothing is ever out ot season: We can buy
on what can be introduced into China. peaches in January and Brussels sprouts in
The Chinese won’t allow crops produced August. But at what cost ?
elsewhere to be imported, so Frito - Lay now
8 We hear a lot about the benefits ot global
grows potatoes in China. "PepsiCo is not
trade, which has made the food we eat
a farming company. But to build a market,
cheaper. But it is important to note that
we had to take extra steps like this,” the
moving food thousands of miles from farm to
operations director tor PepsiCo’s China
market increases pollution, alters traditional
venture told the Wall Street Journal .
diets, and hurts local farmers.
6 With potato chip products like Frito- Lay’s
9 One thing, though , is abundantly clear:
green tea potato chips joining other fast food
Food is intricately6 bound up with culture,
products that now flood Chinese stores,
and when we lose our connection to locally
the diets of people in China are changing
grown food, we also lose a piece ot our
dramatically . One consequence: Nearly
culture. It’s time to begin reconnecting with
a quarter ot the population is overweight
what we eat.
or obese, " conditions that were virtually
unheard of a generation ago. The Chinese
are not as obese as the Americans are yet, but "intricately: arranged in a complicated way
they’re on their way.

^ quintessential: being the most typical example of something


’obese: weighing too much in a way that is unhealthy

2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.


1 What is the impact on the environment that the big Chinese ships have?
2 How has the globalization of food affected culture, according to the author? Do you agree?
3 Have you ever bought food in a store and noticed that it came from somewhere far away?
What was it?

2.4 Notice the Writing

Answer the questions.

t Look at the first two paragraphs. What two things are compared?
2 Which word in the second paragraph indicates that ideas are being contrasted?
3 Which word in the third paragraph indicates that ideas are being compared because they
are similar?

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 117


3 STUDY ACADEMIC WRITING

In Section 1 on page 112 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on his topic.
In this section you will analyze the final draft of his comparison and contrast essay. You will
learn how to structure your ideas for your own essay.

O Student Model
Read the writing prompt again and answer the questions.
WRITING PROMPT: In U.S. grocery stores, consumers can buy both natural foods and foods with
artificial ingredients. Some say that only natural foods are healthy, while others say that foods with
artificial ingredients are cheaper, but still healthy. In your view is one better than the other?
1 What is the prompt asking the writer to compare ?
2 What are some similarities and differences that you think the writer will mention?

Read the essay twice. The first time, think about your answers to the questions above.
The second time, answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes. This will help
you notice key features of comparison and contrast.

The Naturally Inferior Choice


% r
i When I moved to the United States and first saw the labels “natural” and
' artificial” on food packages, I was surprised. In Kenya , food companies did 1 Analyze Writing Skills
Underline the subjects
not use these labels, but in the United States, they are found on many foods. I in paragraph 1 that the
used to assume that natural foods were better because they come from nature, writer is comparing .

and artificial foods were inferior because they are developed in laboratories. 2 Analyze Writing Skills
However, when comparing their definitions, prices, and impact on the Underline the thesis
statement in paragraph
environment, it soon becomes clear that artificial foods are not always the 1 . What three points or
inferior choice. reasons will the writer
use to compare the two
2 One advantage of artificial foods is that they have a clearer definition subjects ? Circle them.
than natural foods do. Therefore, consumers know what they are eating. In
3 Analyze Writing Skills
the United States, for example, the term ' artificial” is restricted to just one Underline the point that
meaning. Legally, “artificial” refers to any food, flavor, or color that uses man - the writer will discuss
in paragraph 2. Which
made chemicals. For example, when scientists want to make a concentrated subject does the writer
discuss first: artificial or
orange flavor, they create chemicals that match the flavor chemicals in a real natural foods ?
orange (Spector ) . In contrast, natural foods do not have a legal definition. That
is because the U.S. Food and Drug Administration , the body regulating food
labeling, does not want to define them ([ones ) . As a consequence , “natural”
can mean virtually anything that food companies want it to mean. Many U.S.
companies write “natural” on food packaging just to make their products
sound healthy However, saying that a food has “ natural sugar ” does not make

118 UNIT 4
it any healthier. It still has sugar. When we compare their definitions, “natural”
is less straightforward 1 than “artificial.”
3 In addition , foods with artificial ingredients benefit consumers more. 4 Analyze Writing Skills
They usually have lower prices than foods with a “ natural” label because Underline the point that
the writer will discuss
they are made in a laboratory Scientists make new flavors by combining in paragraph 3. Double
chemicals they store in the lab. If they need a new chemical, they can make it underline the supporting
idea that the writer
by themselves right there . In contrast, natural ingredients must be grown on discusses for each subject .
a farm, processed, and then transported to the lab. They are more expensive
5 Analyze Writing Skills
to produce because farmers, truck drivers, and distribution companies charge
Underline the phrase
for all of these services. Food companies need to make up for all of the extra in paragraph 3 that
shows you the writer is
expenses, so foods with natural ingredients cost dramatically more at the introducing a contrast
between the two subjects .
grocery store (Spector ) . Furthermore, natural foods have become a valuable
commodity in the United States ( Ferdman ) . Consumer demand for them is
high, so food companies charge more just because of the label.
4 Finally, in comparison to natural foods, artificial food products have some
Analyze Writing Skills
important advantages for the environment. Since artificial foods are man -
Underline the sentences in
made, the process of manufacturing them does not involve farmland or the paragraph 4 that provide
details for the supporting
cultivation of crops. In contrast , the environmental conditions required for idea for the second
natural ingredients are more demanding.- For example, it is important to note subject.

that putting real fruit in a product means that people must first develop the
land to grow it. They may have to cut down existing trees to make room for
new crops. In addition, they must water the crops regularly to keep them alive.
All of these requirements have a more dramatic impact on the planet.
5 In summary, artificial foods are superior to natural foods in certain ways.
The “natural” label can be used by U.S. companies to charge more for food
that might not truly be healthier, whereas “artificial” has a more transparent 3
definition. Using artificial ingredients saves consumers money and also
reduces the amount of land and water needed to grow natural ingredients. The

' straightforward: easy to understand; dear


-demanding: needing a lot of attention , effort, or time
transparent: dear; obvious
( CONTINUED )

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 119


differences between artificial and natural foods are much more complex than 7 Analyze Writing Skills
I had first assumed. I no longer believe that natural is always better, and I have Underiine the sentences in
altered my shopping habits as a result. Now when I go grocery shopping in paragraph 5 that restate
the main ideas. Draw a
the United States, there are many artificial foods in my cart. box around the sentences
that are a comment by
Works Cited the writer.

Ferdonan, Roberto AH " The Word ' Natural Helps Sell S 40 Billion Worth of Food in the US Every Year and the Label
Means Nothing*" Washington Post , Washington Post, 24 June 2014. Web. 11 NOVH 2014,
|ones , Ashby, " Is Your Dinner All Natural ? WSJ Video , Wall Street |ourn al Digital Network, 20 Sept, 2011 Web*
,

Transcript 11 Nov, 2014


, *

Spec tor, Dina , The Surprising Truth About How Many Chemicals Are in Everything We Eat - Business Insider*
Business Insider, 4 Feb , 2014. Web , 1 1 Nov, 2014.

13.1 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 What is the purpose for contrasting the two subjects?


2 Which point in the writer's thesis do you think is the strongest? Why?
3 Do you agree or disagree with the writer's point of view ? Why or why not?

H 3.2 Outline the Writer's Ideas

Complete the outline for "The Naturally Inferior Choice" using the phrases in the box.

benefits to consumers high demand so price is higher


environmental advantage of artificial foods impact on the environment
expensive to grow refers to foods with man-made chemicals
FDA doesn't want to define them requires land

120 UNIT 4
ESSAY OUTLINE
r
M. Introduction

Thesis However, when comparing their definitions, prices, and impact on the environment, it soon
Statement

becomes clear artificial foods are not always the inferior choice.
Body
Paragraph 1:
Point of II, Definition
Comparison

Subject A A. Artificial foods have clearer definition JI i LI n i l i d i i i i nJ i LB u i

Detail 1, Restricted to one meaning L I J I I L l lIII I H III I I I I B I I I I I I J I I L I J III I III I I II k i l l I l l l l I I I J I I L I J I I k i l lI k i l lII I III k l l l l l l l II L BI a i i J I i i H I i i i i i i4 i JIii< i
> i LIU .
kill IIIIIIII I a IIIIJIIllllILIU I LIU I111IIkillI L

Detail 2, k l J J L L B J J IIIIII HIM kill IIII i i k i n i i B II i .


IIJ i i LIJ i nili i La i i L i n i kin i BIIJ I LIJI I k i n i LIJ i LIIIIkii i ii m i nan i i B B J I HI i i LIIJ IIIJJ II IIIIIi i II

Subject B Natural foods no legal definition J 4 1I B U I I B B J II .


J IL l l J I L B B J I

Detail 1, JJIIIJ IU L I U I L I1J IIII LIJ k i l l l l l lIL L I J I L L J I L I I J II L I L III . 111 .


L l lII L I J II L U II L I J III I IIIH i l l IIL l lI I I I J II L B J II B B J Ik i l lII B B J II BI II 1 1 1 II L B J I I L B I IIk i l lI L B B IIL B1IIB B J II B B J .
B B J IIB B J IL B B J II B B J IIB B J . J I II B J I IBB

Detail 2, Can refer to whatever companies want it to. mean .


I 4 1IIB B J I L B B J I I
- J I II I B J J II B J I II i B . .
J I l a LIJ I I BIJ II B B J II B B J I L k I J I I B J J I L I I J I L B J I I L i B B J IL B J II L B I

Body
Paragraph 2:
Point of
Comparison
Subject A A. ArtificiaI foods benefit consumers more

Detail 1 lower prices - made in a lab I L L

Subject B 3 . Natural foods more expensive

Detail 1, .
B J J II B J LBJ .
I B J J L L B J JIL B J LBJ L B J J IL B J J L L B J J L B B J I L B B I I L B B L B B II L B B LBJ L B J II L B I I I L B J I I L B B I I B B B I IB B I I I L B H II L B I I I L B J II B B J I L B B J I L B B J I L B B J I I IB i l l L B II I L B B II L B B J I L B I I I L B J IIB B J I I B B B B B J IIB B J I L B B J I L B B J I L B B J J I II B B I IBB

Detail 2, L B J J L L B J J 1 1 . 1 1 1I JJ L .
I L B J II L B B IIL B B II L B B II L B B II B B J II L B J I L B B J II B B J I L B B J I L B B J I L B B J I L B B J I L B J J I L B J J I L B B II L B J IIB B B II B B B I I B B1IIB B J I L B B J I L B B J IIB B J II

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 121


Body
Paragraph 3:
Point of
.
IV i ria i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa i rpa

Comparison
Subject A A . Pi r PII i a ai i i P M I P H I i I M I i Beni r pi PM

Detail 1'. Mamfact uring does not- require farmland or crops n i r r ni HI M I im a i l ail HIM i r i i i i i i i i i m i l i n n IIPHI a n

Subject B Natural food& more demanding of environment I P P1 P I 'I I P P 1

Detail 1, 91 II PB P I PP 9 I PP 9 rrnir P P l l I P M I I 9 9 9 1 I B 9M I P B 1 1

Detail .
2 Must cut down trees for land ran 1II PS r PI PM rn r r i l lm i l r r n m m m i li r a n i r i i n r a n i r a n i n a n i i i m a 91

Detail 3, Use a lot of water aii PH i rn i ran P I I i ir ni rrn i PMI rrni


* PI I I r a n PBI I
-

.
V Conclusion

Restatement of
Thesis
A .
ii m uiP B I ii r a r ai i rni lira aiiiriiiirniiri ran r n i P H II r a n a n ir a n i r a n i n a n ir a n i a a n i r n r9 iiP H I rPI rPI

Comment r r n i rrn ni i r n i nan ir r n ran i ran i Bin I B I IPM l ir n

O Comparison and Contrast Essays


In comparison and contrast essays, writers compare subjects to help reveal important
differences and /or similarities between two subjects and arrive at an insight. The ability
to compare and contrast subjects is a valuable skill in many types of writing, such as
argumentative and cause and effect.
As with other academic essays, the introduction has a hook, background information, and
a thesis. The thesis usually contains the points of comparison. Points of comparison are the
features or characteristics that the writer will use to compare the two subjects.
Comparison and contrast essays also include a conclusion that restates the thesis and ends with
an observation or something important that the writer learned by comparing the two subjects.
Two common ways to structure this type of essay are point- by-point organization and block
organization.
Point-by-point organization works especially well when your subjects share similarities and
differences for each point and you want to highlight the distinctions. The following chart shows
the structure of a point-by-point essay.

122 UNIT 4
POINT-BY-POINT ORGANIZATION

Introductory paragraph

Body paragraph 1: Point 1: Definition


Subject A: Artificial foods - clear definition
Detail
Detail
Subject B: Natural foods - no legal definition
Detaif
Detail

Body paragraph 2: Point 2: Benefits to consumers


Subject A: Artificial foods - cheaper
Detail
Detail
Subject B: Natural foods - more expensive
Detail
Detail

Body paragraph 3: Point 3: Advantages to the environment


Subject A: Artificial foods - little impact
Detail
Detail
Subject B: Natural foods - more impact
Detail
Detail

Concluding paragraph

Another way to write a comparison and contrast essay, block organization, is to compare two
or more subjects by presenting Subject A and then comparing Subject B to Subject A. The chart
on page 124 shows the basic structure using the subjects of the Student Model.

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 123


BLOCK ORGANIZATION

Introductory paragraph

Body paragraph 1: Subject A: Artificial foods


Point 1: Definition - Clear definition
Point 2: Benefits to consumers - Cheaper; good for consumers
Point 3: Impact on environment - Little impact on environment

Body paragraph 2: Subject B in comparison to A: Natural foods in comparison to


artificial foods
Point 1: Definition - Not as clearly defined
Point 2: Benefits to consumers - More expensive
Point 3: Impact on environment - Much more impact on environment

Concluding paragraph

In this unit, you will learn to structure your essay in the point-by-point format.

3.3 Notice
Look at the outline of the Student Model on pages 121-122. Which organizational
structure did the writer of the essay use: point-by-point or block organization? Why do
you think he chose that organization?

3.4 Notice
Read each sentence. Circle Tif it is true and F if it is false.
1 In the block organization, artificial foods and natural foods are mentioned in both
body paragraphs. T F
2 In the block organization, in the second body paragraph the writer will always
use the comparative to talk about Subject B. T F
3 Both the point-by- point and block organization have the same number of
paragraphs. T F
4 Both structures have an introduction and a conclusion. T F

124 UNIT 4
BODY PARAGRAPHS
The body paragraphs of a comparison and contrast essay show how the two subjects
compare to each other. Each body paragraph in a point-by-point essay discusses one point of
comparison. Points of comparison are the features and characteristics that the writer uses
to compare the two subjects. Writers choose the strongest, most interesting, or most striking
points that will support their thesis. In each paragraph you will analyze each subject in a parallel
manner. In the essay, writers include the same points of comparison for their subjects.
Below is a chart showing points of comparison for a writing prompt.
WRITING PROMPT: Compare the food and drink that is common in South Korea today with
that which was common there 100 years ago. How do these changes reflect cultural changes ?

POINTS OF COMPARISON 100 YEARS AGO

i drinks tea - traditional coffee very popular


tea - cheap and available
readily available
status symbol

2 beef rare readily available


expensive - mainly for served in many popular
upper classes restaurants

more fish-based society

3 Western-style fast food nonexistent very popular


only local foods both international and
national food chains
& 3.5 Practice
Complete the outline for one of the body paragraphs of an essay based on the writing
prompt and information on page 125.

Body
Paragraph 1: Pf PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP PP

Point 1

Subject A: r
- f rF

Detail “ IIS

Detail FH 11 B F *B F 1I P B !' F
"f p
"i i r i ia "i F
"1 BIFF

Subject B :

Detail i i r
-
i

Detail FH 11 B F
"f F 1IIP B B !' F *B p
"I I B r i P l l 1 F
"1 BIFF

Detail r "i

3.6 Apply It to Your Writing


Read the ideas in your Venn diagram on page 113. Choose one point of comparison and
complete the chart below. On a separate sheet of paper, create the outline of a body
paragraph with the ideas. You can use these ideas when you write your essay in Section 5.

POINT OF COMPARISON 100 YEARS AGO TODAY

1 F I
I II I II I li I I I I E E

r i i li i li i i i H I D i i ii n

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH
The introductory paragraph includes the same features that you learned about in Unit 1.
However, the thesis statement has to communicate to your reader what the essay will focus
on: similarities, differences, or both.

The thesis statement may include the points of comparison. So, the thesis statement for the
writing prompt on page 125 could be written two ways:

126 UNIT 4
With points of comparison: Several aspects of common Korean food and drink are very different
today from 100 years ago, such as the popularity oj coffee, beef, and Western -style fast food.
Without points of comparison: While some of the common food and drinks consumed in South
Korea are the same as they were 100 years ago, there are some key differences.

j
* 3.7 Notice
Read each sentence. Circle Tif it is true and F if it is false.
1 The points of comparison are the characteristics you will compare. T F
2 For the writing prompt on page 125, the points of comparison are the
popularity of coffee, beef, and Western-style fast food. T F
3 Thesis statements in a comparison and contrast essay never mention the
points of comparison. T F

The thesis statements below give you some helpful words and phrases to use in writing yours.

FOCUS ON DIFFERENCES
There are some fundamental differences between the eating habits of the Chinese and Americans.
Although Chinese and Italian cuisines have certain features in common, they differ in terms of
available ingredients and eating utensils, and in the rules and rituals of eating,
However, when comparing their definitions, prices, and impact on the environment, it soon
becomes dear that artificial foods are not always the inferior choice.

FOCUS ON SIMILARITIES
The cuisines of Peru and japan may appear very different, but they actually share some striking /
interesting similarities.
While Chinese and Italian cuisines differ in some ways, they are similar in terms of their emphasis
on noodles, their flavor preferences, and their cooking methods.

& 3.8 Apply It to Your Writing


&
k

Think about your prompt and the ideas in your Venn diagram in Section 1. Write a
thesis statement. This is just for practice. Then share your thesis statement with a
partner. Does the statement make it clear whether the essay will focus on similarities
or differences?

i i ii r, .
i i E n n i B I I B I I B I I fl I B I I B B n ii B 1 1 j B B r I E l I II B E I I II B E I I I IJ E E E II B E I B I

+ ++ # + — Irr f - -
I » i' 9' 9' 9 9 9 +
* +

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 127


3.9 Practice Organizing Ideas

Work with a partner. Read the writing prompt and the introductory paragraph. Then
read the topic sentence for each paragraph. Discuss the points of comparison with your
partner. Then finish each body paragraph.
WRITING PROMPT: Compare two food trends or habits. What, in your opinion, do they reveal
about the people who follow them?

THE SPEED OF FOOD

A current debate concerning food is how fast it is. This topic does not make sense to
some people, but it makes others become absolutely enraged. On one side of the debate are
the fast food people. These consumers prefer food that is quickly and easily prepared and
inexpensive. These people would rather order take- out food, such as pizza and hamburgers,
or prepare microwaveable packaged foods. Food for them has to fit into their lifestyle
and not take up too much space, but it must be tasty. On the other side of the debate are
the slow food people. These people are proponents of the slow food movement, which
advocates that food should be healthy, fresh, and slowly cooked. Taking the time to prepare
and cook food is very satisfying to these consumers and an essential part of their lifestyle.
Although there are some similarities between these groups, they are clearly different in
their lifestyles, concern for their health, and their tastes in food.
Fast food and slow food eaters have very different enjoyments and routines.
r r r i 1 p B i R V I a n i r ! a r i r i i m r i P I i p i I I P i r i a a i r i i a

.
i i A a i a k I J mm k k J a G k a m
- k k J J a k ik a J k i i a J m m k I J
_ k k I m m m B I .
I J J k k I J J .k m k I a m m k .
j j a k i j .a i k B a B J a B k a

p r

iB B a B k m k k

Another difference is how concerned they are about their health.


r r p p t i i R P T i i p p i ,i B r p i
,
! P p r i ,
!i p f p i
,?
- r ,i, i p 'P H if r P

a i i i i r i ' i i i

-- k A

1 I

Finally, they have entirely different tastes in food. L J


- k a. k k J J j k J J J k I 1 J .. rm L J J . k A a .L j

p i pi 1 r n - «
'p ^ - p

I I L I J I L I I . . .
J I L I J J I L I J J I I J J I I I J J I I I J J I B I J J k J k IJ k k J k a k i i

P T1B
- -
T f B P T T B H P T1 P P T B B P I P P •t ip r T B B P P t P P
- B P P 11 I P P B B P

128 UNIT 4
& 3.10 Apply It to Your Writing
Work with a partner. Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1.
Choose one point of comparison and discuss what the supporting points are. Write two
or three sentences that compare Subject A with Subject B. Share your ideas with your
partner.
k
- m k
- k k .
. k k k .
I k A. k .1. k I .
J J k l i: k A:
3 m .
J .
I fi .J
I : .
i B J J fil J » J k k I m . m m k m m i m k m k J A k .
A
- k k J k l> A .
k I 4 k I 4 . -
k k 4 .1. J
- .
k 4 J .1 A ..
k 1 M k k 1 . k k I k k

s p p r r 'i: I P BT a r ii a a p "f a P n m m p at p p p p p p p
i i r r i a e r r i
^ i r r i s p r l i p P

I I 4
_ m k I m I k k A 4 m k k 4 4 k k l A 4 . .
L 4 4 9 .
L 4 4 B .
L 4 4 B k k A .A B k .
k A 4 m m .
i i l . . .. . . .
B i k 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k l 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k A 4 4 B k 1 J 4 E k 4 4 4 B .. . I 4 4 k k 1 4 k .1 J B k|4 4 B E I J 4 a k l 4 4 f a k l 4 4 i k l 4 4 a k L 4 4 i k l 4 4 f a k l 4 4 B k l 4
l .i k l 4 H & k l 4 4 k k l 4 4 M k l 4 4 k k l 4 4 k k l 4 4 k k l 4 1 k k l 4 4 k k l 4 B k k l 4 B i 4 . 8 4 B k l> i a k k A

P ra l a p p i 9 9 p r 9 r T * P a r TI 9 P P P1 9 e r v 1 B P P 1 1 B P P T a a P P a a P r a a P p a a a p p a e p p a a e p p a a B p p a a a r r a a a p a a a p T a a r a a a r a a a a a r

J k 4 .a B A B j a A A B I A A B k l l A B k l A B B A .1 .
A B k I A A B k A A A B k l A A B k l A A B k l A A B k l A A B k l A A k A I I A B A I A B B k l A A B k I A B k A A B k k I A B k A B k I A k k k A k k I . A k k k A k k

a s s !

CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH
In the concluding paragraph, writers signal that they have come to the end of an essay. It
often begins with a transition phrase such as In summary, In conclusion, or To sum up. In this
paragraph, the writer restates the thesis and ends with a final comment.

3.11 Notice
Look at the Student Model on pages 118-120. Circle the summary phrase. What final
comment does the writer make about the topic? Underline those sentences.

3.12 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the ideas you wrote for your own essay in Section I. What might
your final comment be ? Write some ideas below.
I: .
I J .1. A B E I I A A E I .I A A E l .l A A k l .l A B k I I A B k J A E k .1 A E k A J k 1 4 4 k J A B J A k k J A k k J A k I A k J A B k J A B J A k k J A k k J A k k B k J B k I

p r p1
^ r p
^ p p p 1 p p p t p p p T H P P'I P S P P " H P r I - 9 P P T1 9 P P T1 9 P P I 1

A A B k l .I .
A B I I J B k I J B k k 1 a .
k i I B k I. 1 a k 1 a k i . 1 B k 1 I B k .
I A B k I J J B I I 1 A B I . .. . I A B I I A B I: I A B I I A B I I A B I: .
A A fi I I A A fi l A A f c l J A B k l l A B f c l I A B L I I A B fc I l A B k l l A B k l l A B k l l A B k l J A f i k l J A a k l l A k k l J A k l A k I I A k I I A k I I A A k I I A A k I I A A I, I J A k I J B k I I J B k I

P P P P 1 P P -
P P P "P P P - -
P P 1 P P! P9 P9

B B A A A A I I A B B B m m m m J B B B a B B B a B B I B B I B P I I B I

_ . ...
* ! 3 + + + - I- + + * F * + + -S - - -
... .. . A.. . A.- . ... . a.- . a. . a. . -
-- * ! S !• ¥ + * S !• I* + - * + H- -5 H I + b + ® *
i 4
- •k4 « . - B k4 .a - a
- . - *+“ - i, A .A —- ...k ¥ + +*+ I + HI i ! ¥ t H ++ « + H- HI k A .
* hH *
4i 4 4 4 k a k k a k k j B k k J k k j k J 4i k 3 3
*
M A M k j k J 4 « k a 1
" s

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 129


4 SHARPEN YOUR SKILLS

In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

O Writing Skill 1: Words and Phrases That Show Similarities


and Differences
The words and phrases below that show similarity or difference are very common in
comparison writing.

WORDS AND PHRASES THAT SHOW SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES

• To show similarities, you can use similarly ; likewise, similar to, like, and both.
Chinese cuisine is very popular outside of China. Similarly / Likewise, Italian cuisine is a favorite of
many people outside of Italy.
Similar to / Like Chinese cuisine, Italian cuisine is popular around the world.
Both Chinese cuisine and Italian cuisine are well loved in numerous countries.
• To show differences, you can use on the other hand, in contrast, or however, unlike, and while
or whereas.
Fast food restaurants focus on price and convenience. On the other hand / ln contrast / However,
the slow food movement focuses on health and education about how food is grown and cooked.
Unlike fast food, slow food focuses on health and education.
While / Whereas fast food restaurants focus on price and convenience, the slow food movement
focuses on health and education.
• Use although and even though to show a difference that is unexpected or surprising.
Although/ Even though technology enables us to transport food across large distances, if good-
quality food is abused during transport it can arrive spoiled.

& 4.1 Combine Ideas


Connect or combine the two sentences using the words in parentheses.

1 French cooking uses a lot of butter. Chinese cooking does not. (on the other hand)
French cooking uses a lot of butter On the other hand, Chinese cooking does not.
2 Information is now exchanged very easily between countries because of globalization. Food
is now exchanged very easily between countries because of globalization, ( similar to)
" T1 I T I r »

n i l .
I I J I I I I I I i II i i i a ii

3 Rice actually originated in Asia. Rice is a common ingredient in Mexican cuisine, (even
though)
n i a a L I I I L I L I I 1 I L J L

3 3 3 3
* * * * -
3

130 UNIT 4
4 Fast food from big international chains is considered cheap in the United States. !n Russia, it
is much less affordable, (however)

i ii H Iii n iliii r ii i n ii mi n ii i i i i a n II :n PI r i' II i n i II n

5 Indian restaurants typically do not serve beef. Argentinian restaurants are known for their
many ways of preparing beef, (in contrast)
i
- n i i FI u II II » B i i n n i EI n r a A I I p I I p I B P a B a B B a B r a B B r B B B r r i a B B i3
'
fl fl fl 'll Fl fl fl fl II! 1 fl fl fl U r i l l r i l l r i a B r i a ra a n B r i U a B IS I a B E i' i i B B r a B r 1 B I I I a B I I I fl B 1 I B B I I I B E I a B B B i a B I I I B i i i a B i i I I r i i I I r i a a B r a a B r a a B B r a

rilliJi 4
- |
> k 4i 4
- -. - 4 4 fa k 4 m m .
m f 4 . fa in 4 m k k .
^ - k k 4 m . -
k k 4 k k >k 4
- fa
- k l> 4
- k k 4 4. .
fa k >1 4 fa
-- .
fa 4 4 4
- fa 4i 4
- i fa 4i 4
- .B fa 4k > k 4 > k 4< 4 m m k 4> 4 4 . fa fa 4 fa 4 4
- .
fa k 4 fa .
fa 4 4 fa fa .
fa 4 4 fa . -
fa 4 4 fa fa fa fa
- fi fa 4 4 4 ! f a 4 4 * f a 4i 4 4 k b f a 4 fa f a 4 4 f i k 4

6 Haggis, a traditional Scottish dish, is cooked in a sheep's stomach. Drob, a Romanian dish
served at Easter, is cooked in a sheep's stomach, (both)
k f a 4
- .
fa fa 4 4 4 fa fa fa 4 4 fa 4

B r a a p a E p a a r i a a r r i a B r a E a a p r a a r a a p p a a p a p p a a p i a a p i a a p l a p a r a B p a p p i a p a p p a a p a a r a s p a p p a B p a a p a a p

4.2 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1 on page 113. Write four
sentences using some of the words and phrases above.

II I I 4 B II I 4 B Id I B B B I fa B I . . 1 fl fa I 4 fl fa I . 4 B fa ! 4 B fa I I B I I .r I I B II1I I B I I I a B i i i J a i I .
I I B i i i i i I i i ii i i i i J i fa I 4 B fa I 4 B fa 1 4 B Id i a a i .
1 4 fa B I I B I I 4 I i fa I fa I . i a fa i ii a fa a fl H a a B fa m B B m B B 4 B fa m B fa 4 B B

. 4 .. g 4 . 4 4 fa f a f a 4
- 4 . .
fa 4 4 4 . - fa ..
fa § 4 - fa b .#. -- .
fa 1 4
- . fi fa -i. - . fi . 4 - -| fa «. 4 - . .4 fa | .
4 fa fa | 4 a . fa « 4
- fa t !
* a - p !
* .
4 . . . ..fa | | 4 4 fa |i i . fafa |i .« . fafa | . .a 4 . fa |i .
i 4 a r |i [
« 4 s r | 4. -

r Fl P a Fl I 1 Fl B B B B n

.
4 4 .
4.4 4 fafa 4i 4 . .. . . L 4 . 4 4 fa 4i 4 4 S k 4 . 4 4 f a f a 4i 4
- . . .
f a k 4 4 4 f a L 4 4 f a B L 4 . 4 f a f a f a X . 4 fafa 4 ... L f a 4 . 4 . fa 4 4 fa fa 4 4 fa fa 4 4 fa fa .
4 4 fa fa k X 4 fa L k 4 4 fa fa fa k k k

P a a r a B p a B p a P r 1 a a p 1 a a p 1 a a p a s p a s p a s p a s p a P p

fa

O Writing Skill 2: Coherence


Coherence in writing means that the sentences and paragraphs flow well, and that ideas are
connected clearly in a way that is easy for the reader to follow. Here are some of the techniques
writers use to create coherence.

TRANSITION WORDS AND PHRASES

• To add information, use also, in addition, moreover, furthermore.


Globalization has made it easier for different countries to exchange information.
Also,/ In addition,/ Moreover,/ Furthermore, it has resulted in an increased exchange of aspects of
culture such as cuisine.
• To shift focus to a new topic, use with respect to, with regard to, regarding.
With respect to / With regard to/ Regarding American- style fast food, this can now be seen all
over the globe.

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 131


* To show the order of a process, use first, next, followed by, finally.
First, a local company applies for a license to open a local chain restaurant. Next, it receives
approval, followed by any specific requirements. Finally, it opens the restaurant.
• To summarize or conclude, use in conclusion, in summary, in sum.
In conclusion, / In summary, / In sum, food is an aspect of culture that has been rapidly
internationalized in the era of globalization.

4.3 Combine Ideas

Complete the paragraph with the transition words and phrases in the box. Sometimes
more than one answer is possible.

first in addition next with regard to


furthermore in sum regarding with respect to

An examination of Chinese versus Chinese - American food reveals some surprising


facts. Chinese food that is popular in the United States today has been adapted from the
Cantonese cuisine of China’s southeast. It is not so similar, however, to the traditional
food of that region. For one thing, the way it is cooked in the United States is much
richer. I I H H K I' F l l H I i r I 1 I 1 9 1 i i i r r i' i r r i i i r n I 1 F I I *1 F1 I H the American version tends to be sweeter.
0)
H P P T 9 9 9 P P '1 to this, several “Chinese” dishes popular in the United States
( 2)
did not even originate in China. J I li I a a I d m h 1
< I B H h I d m a* I d B fa I I fil i a fc b chop suey, it was actually
(3)
invented in America in the nineteenth century, i i r a I I General Tso’s
(4)
chicken , Jennifer Lee, author of The Fortune Cookie Chronicles ,
went to the hometown of General Tsung- tang Tso, the nineteenth-
century military leader, and asked several of the general’s ancestors
about this dish. They were not aware of it at all. The changes Chinese
cooking underwent in the United States are part of a historical
pattern. When people emigrate from China to other countries, one
of two things generally happens:
(5)
Chinese cuisine influences the mainstream cooking style.
r i i PI n r 'i i , Chinese cuisine adapts to
( 6)
local tastes and ingredients,
( 7)
consumers’ desire for “authenticity," it is no longer an important
element. Essentially, all of this happens because Chinese cooking is
not just a set of dishes, but also a philosophy that serves local tastes
and ingredients. So, - -5 when you look
(8)
at the history of Chinese cuisine, you see a history of adaptiveness.

132 UNIT 4
OTHER WAYS TO CREATE COHERENCE
Writers also create coherence with demonstratives, pronouns, and the use of articles.

l Use demonstratives this / that / these/ Many U.S. cities have a large number of
those + noun to refer to specific ideas ethnic restaurants. These restaurants provide
from previous sentences. opportunities for local residents to try new
dishes.

2 Use demonstratives this / that / these/ Many diners today prefer food that comes
those with certain nouns to label a from local sources. This fact is affecting the
previous idea. These nouns include way restaurants design their menus.
argument, belief, effect, experience, fact,
opinion, process, setting, situation, study.

3 Use pronouns ( he, she, it, they ) to refer Food writer Jennifer Lee was curious about
to specific nouns in previous sentences. the dish. She discovered that it was actually
invented in the United States.

4 Use indefinite articles ( a / an ) the first A plantain is a fruit similar to a banana but
time something is mentioned, and the firmer and starchier. The plantain is a staple
definite article ( the) after that. of cuisines throughout Latin America and the
Caribbean, and is often fried.

5s
(
4.4 Editing Task
Use the ways to create cohesion above to complete the second sentence in the following
sets of sentences.

1 Consuming Passions : The Anthropology of Eating is a survey of eating habits in different


cultures. Written in the 1980s, continues to be an excellent
resource for students of culinary anthropology.
2 Many Europeans believe that GMO foods are dangerous, is
starting to become popular in the United States as well.
3 Many experts feel that there are too many commercial food products that contain
unnecessary sugar. include items that we don't usually think of as
i J i

being sweet, such as vegetables and bread.


4 Unconscious eating is a common cause of obesity. i i p r occurs when
1 rTl a r 7 a r 7 B P i:

people do not pay attention to the act of eating, such as when they are watching TV.
5 Za'atar is a mixture of spices used in Lebanese cuisine. mixture
includes oregano, thyme, and sesame seeds.
6 Peter Farb writes that chili peppers do not just flavor foods. .. rr i 7 EiiniflBr
i
i 7 r I I I P I I i I I I I I I 7 7 i i a r p r7 7 p r
- 7 r i l l also
contain vitamin C and other nutrients.

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 133


e Grammar for Writing: Appositives
An appositive is a noun phrase that renames or gives additional information about the person,
place, or thing that it refers to. They are common in academic writing and usually provide extra
information. Follow the rules below in using appositives:

APPOSITIVES

1 Use appositives to give a definition, Some people think that the acai, a dark purple
description, or title of a noun or proper Brazilian berry; is a kind of ",superfood."
noun. A sweet rice cake, nian gao is commonly eaten
Appositives are always separated by for good luck during New Year in China.
commas, dashes, or parentheses. They Potato chips were successfully introduced in
can come before or after the noun they
China by Frito- Lay, a division of PepsiCo .
modify.

2 Use appositives to refer to tables and On the following page is a map of the original
figures. References to tables and figures Silk Road (see fig. 1 ).
are usually in parentheses.

3 Use appositives to explain abbreviations CMOs - genetically modified organisms - do


and acronyms (words formed from the not occur naturally; they have been manipulated
first letters or parts of other words). by scientists.

4.5 Write About Ideas


Combine the sentences using an appositive. Follow the additional instructions.
i Frito- Lay sells potato chips in China. Frito-Lay is a division of PepsiCo, (appositive at the
beginning)
J a h I: a m ..
A i a « a .i
i « - .
B k i J a a .a
k i a a k .
a a a. a a a a a a a k a a .a
k i a a
-
k i a a a k a a k k k a a k k k a a k k a k k k a a k k j a a k k j a a k k j a a k k a a k a. a a a k a. a k k a a a k k a a a k k a a a k k a a a i

H i n

2 An example of a popular Lebanese dish is baba ghanuj. Baba ghanuj is a kind of eggplant
salad, (appositive at the end)
i i s p p i i B P r i i B r r i T P P P i i P P r i i i p r i T i r p p P r 1 P P T 1 H P P I H I P P 1 1 H 1 H H P H P P 1 I I H P P 1 H P P 1 H P P H H P'P 1 1 H P BP H H P T ' 1 H P CI 1 H B P ‘1 1 H P P I 1 P P 1 P P P 1 1

.
I

3 Christopher Coiumbus was sent by the king and queen of Spain to see if he could reach Asia
by sailing west. He was an Italian explorer, (appositive at the beginning)
J a k i 4 i G a a a k i 4 1 1 4 G I I . ..
k 1 I I
- k 1 4 B k k I 4 I k k 4 I k ! il
-
J B 1 1 4 a B k I i a a k i J k k 4 k i 4 a i a .
k i J a a k J 4 a k l 4 1 B k l J 4 B k 4 4 1 B k l 4 4 k

P i a B P T l B P P T B H P P T I H P P 1 P P H H
- P P B E P T H E B P Y H H P P T 1 B P H
- P P H H
- P P H H H P T H
- P P I H P P P I P H H P P 'P H P P 'P H P P 'P H P P 1 H " P P V B P °P -
H H P P H H H P P H H B P "1 1 B P P H H
- P

4 An early example of the globalization of food was the trading of spices along the Silk
Road. The Silk Road was a group of routes that linked China with Central Asia and Europe,
(appositive at the end)
i a k h

i p p T

134 UNIT 4
5 One kind of cheese which can only be made in Italy is Parmigiano-Reggiano. Parmigiano-
Reggiano is a kind of hard cheese, (appositive at end)

n i i n ^i n i i i i i * i i ii if n i t i i n n i n i i M I D I B ii ii PI n i i LI I I i [i u n i II

Avoiding Common Mistakes ©


Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using
appositives in academic writing.

1. Remember to use an article for an appositive when necessary.

Alice Waters is the owner of Chez Panisse, California restaurant famous for its organic
ingredients.
2. Don't use a relative pronoun in an appositive.
Big Food, which the food production industry in the United Statesresists movement toward
sustainable practices.
3. Always use a comma, a dash, or parentheses with an appositive when it provides
extra information.

Americansa people not often acclaimed for their culinary traditionsA' are experiencing a
watershed moment in their attitudes toward the food they eat.

4.6 Editing Task


Find and correct four more mistakes in the following paragraph.

Because of the United States' special history of immigration, American food has been
a
influenced by cuisines from all over the world. A melting pot,Alarge pot used to melt multiple
ingredients together over heat, has often been used as a symbol of American society and
culture. It's true that some food considered "American" did not originate here. Hamburgers
and hot dogs, very common American sandwiches were brought by German immigrants.
Sometimes, food brought by immigrants adapts to American life just as the immigrants do.
Chop suey, dish of mixed meat and vegetables in a thick sauce, is served at Chinese restaurants
in the United States but was not eaten in China. Mayonnaise, that a very common American
condiment, actually comes from Europe. These are just a few examples of culinary adaptation
in the United States.

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 135


© Avoiding Plagiarism
Choosing credible sources takes practice. Some sources seem useful, but they
may not be accurate.

My instructor always says that we should use credible sources.


I'm not sure what she means. There are so many websites, and
I want to make sure that I choose the right ones. Can you help
me ? What is a credible source? - Magda

Dear Magda,
Credible sources are trustworthy. The information from these sources comes from research.
An example is an educational institution, such as Harvard. There are specific criteria that all
credible sources have and you can ask yourself questions to determine whether a source
meets this criteria and should be used for your essay.

There are great sources out there. Use what you learn to make sure that you choose the
right ones!
Yours truly,
Professor Wright

CRITERIA FOR EVALUATING A SOURCE


To identify a reliable source, you should be able to answer "yes" to these questions.

1 Is the information up-to-date ?


The information should be current and reflect current ideas, especially in subjects that
change quickly, like technology.
2 Can you identify the author?
You should be able to find the author's name. The author should be an expert or have
credentials in his or her field. You should be able to find other articles written by the author
on your topic or other articles that cite the author.

3 Is the information fact-based or research-based?


The author should cite his or her own sources and show both sides of an argument. The
author's point should be supported with facts and research, not just opinion. Avoid blogs or
other personal websites.
4 If you use a website, is it from a respected organization: an educational institution,
government office, or respected news organization?
Look for sites that end in .org, ,edu, or .gov. Commercial sites that end in .com may not be
reliable. Be careful with sites that have a lot of advertising.

136 UNIT 4
& 4.7 Practice
Check (/ ) the three best sources for a research project on American food habits today.
Discuss your answers with a partner.
r p r P B

a 1999 article about American supermarkets


r

l
P

P P P P

a 2015 book about the effects of fast food on the American public by a professor from
p

2
P
P
P
P
I I I

Stanford University
a blog about a writer's eating habits posted on March 12, 2014
a a s
i.
B

a website that sells cooking products


B

4
a
a
a

a
5 a 2016 article about the importance of breakfast from the New York Times
i i r P r B B

a
a a a B a B a
6 a recent government report on obesity
B P

P
n

a a a a a a
7 an article on diet tips from this month's fashion magazine
p p p p p p e

article on food and culture with no author


p

8 a 2014
P

P
P
r a r B B B B

' Y* \ ’ VV\Vi v\
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-
i

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' *
5 WRITE YOUR ESSAY

In this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

STEP 1: BRAINSTORM
Work with a partner. Follow the steps below to brainstorm more ideas.
i Before you start, notice how the writer of the Student Model brainstormed. He wrote many
ideas. Then he chose three points of comparison he thought were the strongest.

WRITING PROMPT: In U.S. grocery stores, consumers can buy both natural foods and foods
with artificial ingredients. Some say that only natural foods are healthy, while others say that
foods with artificial ingredients are cheaper, but still healthy. In your view, is one better than
the other?

Subject A: Subject B:
Foods with Natural Foods with Artificial
Ingredients Ingredients

DIFFERENCES DIFFERENCES

SIMILARITIES

inlatj)- doesn’t need


produced naturally
farmland and water
^ needs
- make food taste
; jwade
land or lots of water
good

- probably more nutritious - used in fast foods


- some research shows that

and better for my health chemicals can cause cancer

- can be good and bad


Qjsually more expensive - food is cheaper and
for health
^ more available
fnot clearly defined
- clearly defined

138 UNIT 4
2 Write the ideas that you wrote in Section 1, page 113, in the Venn diagram below. Include

Subject A: Subject B:
I i ii 4 m I i i 4 I I k I i a fa ii I 4 m I J a h i a a i i a a i 4 m 4 fa Ii I I 4 fa h i ii a k i a ii i a a a. a a a i a a a i a a a i a a a i i i j .
B i I 4 B I . a ii 4

DIFFERENCES DIFFERENCES

SIMILARITIES

h .1. a a a B i i4 a H | .
i i i J a a h . p a a
> b
-

i i

fc k k k k I 4 k I 4 k i d m .1 .1
'
kia a k aa k 4 k k a a k4 k k4 4 . m m k a a i k a a a i i d a k a k k A a a k .
a m m k k a> k k k kd k aa k4 k k a k J a k aa k44 k k4 k k4 k4 k4 k k4 k fc 4 k k4 4 k

I L I I I 4 I I J 4 .
L I 4 II k 44 J 4 4 L 4 I I 4 I 4 4 4 J 4 .
I i l l a I L i 4 I .
I 4 I I I 4 a L I I I I I L I .
B I I B B J B B B4 4 B B 4 4 1 44 . B II I B k 4 4 B 4 4 4 4 .
I 4 4 B . . . .
I 4 B B B I 4 B B B I 4 B B B I 4 B B L I. 4 B B B I 4 B B . B B B B B I 4 B I 4

k I .a
— Ii k 1 4 4 k k 4 4 4 k k 4 4 il k I I 4
— —k k 4 4 k 1.4 4 4
— .
I 1 4 4 k k44 B k I 4 4 4 k 1 4 4
- .
k I 4 4
- k 1 4 4
- . .
k I 4 4 k k P4 4 k k I 4 4 k

'i i B R i 'i i i i B r i i B r i i
-
i B i i r i 'i B r i
-
I I B B I I B B r m I I B I I I I B I I I I B r I I n B I I I n B I I I I r I I a p i i B r i I BIHfllll FI II I I I P I I 1 S P 1 1 1 1 1 II 9 E I B r i i i H i I 9 9 P I 9 9 P I 9 9 P I I 9 E F I I 9 E P I 9 B P I I 9 B I I I B B I I I B B I I I 9 B I I i 9 r

k 4 4 4 k 4, 4 4 k .
4 4 k I 44 4 k I 44 H k . 4 B k el I 4 k I 4 B k B 4 I 4 k 4 .
k i 4 k k 4 1 B . .
I I 4 B k I B k 4 B k 4 B k 4 B k k4 fc k 4 4 k f c 4 4

I 9 P "I 9 P 9 B P 9 9 P 9 9 B P 9 9 B P 'I 9 9 B P 9 9 B P 9 9 B P I I P I I I 9 P I 9 9 P9 9 P9 9 9 I’ 1 P P 9 9 P 9 9 P I 9 P I 9 9 P I 9 9 B P I 9 B P P I 9 B P I B P P 9 B P P9 9 B P 9 9 B ’9 9 B 9 P P 9 9 P I 9 9 P T9 9 9 P I I 9 9 P P I 9 9 P I I 9 9 P T l P P P '1 B P P9 P P I I 9 P P P I B P P9 9 P P El 9 P

ideas from the Your Turns throughout the unit. Brainstorm more ideas.
When you are finished, circle the three strongest points of comparison and write them here.
i . k

2 B n 1» 4 4 B B 4 B B 4 B B B l l B k I J B B k 4 B B fc 4 B B I P I B B fc l l fl B k I. . B B B 4 B B 4 B k 4 B B B 4 B B B 4 B B B 4 B B B 4 B k B 4 B k I 4 B B B 4 B B B 4 B B B 4 4 fl B I 4 fc l 4 f l P I 4 4 f l P I I 4 flfcl 4 4 B f c l . .
l B f l f c l 4 4 J I I I 4 B L I I I B B I I I B I 44 ..
I II 4 4 . ..
I 4 B l fc 4 4 B I I 4 J B II 4 B I .
4 B fc fc 1 4 B k J 9 B fc B 4 9 B

3 n i I I i i I I 9 i i r i i r 9 r i 9 n p n i r r i n n r r r r i p r i 9 ii i . n ii II n P I ri p r i ’ r i n r r9 n p rn r k i ri r H I i
- n H I i
- r
-
II 'I i n r 'ii 9 n n i' i n is i ’l l r I I I I I 9 I I a B I I I I I I I v i i i

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 139


STEP 2: DO RESEARCH: EVALUATING INTERNET SOURCES
When doing research, it is important to use information only from sources that are credible. The
information should be current, accurate, and complete. In addition, the writer or organization
that is the source of the information should have a reputation for fairness and objectivity.
These things are even more important when you are doing research on the Internet.
Inez needed to evaluate the credibility of her Internet sources for this prompt: Historical events
often bring countries together in unexpected ways. Choose two cultures with historical connections
and explore similarities in their modern cuisine that reflect these ties. Read and find out how
she did it.

First, 1 considered if the publication date is up to date for my topic. After


that, I verified the author's background and website's reputation through
an Internet search. Then I read and analyzed details from the information to
decide if they are relevant to my thesis. Last, I identified the purpose of the
information - to inform, to entertain, or to persuade the audience - to make
sure it was appropriate for my essay.

Inez's Results

Topic: French and Vietnamese cuisine

Source: “ Vietnam, the Best of Its Art and Culture” from www.theoulturetrip.com

Publication 2014: Recently writ ten so it provides a modern view. Also


date discusses the history between France and Vietnam (16*49-
1954).

Background In ‘About Us” section: The edi tors are culture experts; websi te was
and reputation a finalist for a UK website award in 2013.

Relevance Details about Vietnamese foods - coffee, soups, sandwiches,


pate - comparing them to French foods.

Purpose To inform. The information about thefood and colonial history


between these countries provides evidence for my comparison
essay.

5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


Follow the steps Inez took to evaluate the credibility of Internet sources for your
essay. Complete a chart like the one above for your main sources.

140 UNIT 4
STEP 3: MAKE AN OUTUNE
Complete the outline below with your ideas from the previous steps.

ESSAY OUTLINE

I. Introduction

Thesis
Statement

Body
Paragraph 1* ,ft

Point of
Comparison 1
Subject A i s rBs iir e s i r a nir a n i r B i i i r i i i i PHII i r i i i i m is ran p r a u r p a i I P P I I I P P H I I P P H I ip mi p r a a i p e a i I P P I I I PPIIIPBII IPBI SI P H I I I P P I I I P M IS r e i i r n i iiBBI IPP - I I I P H I IPBI i r p i u r r m P - 11 I P P I I I P B I I I r a i l i p i i i r m I I F - Ii I P H H I I P H I I P P I I I P P B I I P P - I I I' B B I I P B B I I P S B I I I ii P B H I P B H I P B I I I P B B I I I B I I I I - II I P I I I I P B I I IPBI I I P

Detail PET i r r i i i r m i r m i r i n i r i n i r i m r i m r n i i r m i r m i m i i r n i i r a i l i r a i l i r m i r n rni i m i rrn r n i rr


- i i r BSI PPHI i rPEi i r a n ran i r n i i PHI i p a n IPBI PHI PHI i PP i i PP 5 1 i rpai i PPBI i p m i rpii i r p n i PPII I rrn I PM PB1 PB1 P PI PM PBI i PPII i r p n ip ii
- rrn i r
-

Detail PPIIIPPII PPII i PPII i peai PPII 1 E M I fPMl P H I i i P M i i P Ba i I P B I i I P B I I PP Ba i I P B I I P P I I I Peaa i P P I I PPII I r p n i real i PPII I Paaa i real PPII I PPI I PPII I PPI 1 P P M P P M I PPM I I PHI 1 p H Bi i P P H I i raai pan i P H I i PHI i p a n i PH ill PHI PHI I PPHI I PPHI I PPHI 8 PPHI I PPHI I PPII I PPII I PPII I PPI I 8 PPI I I PHI I P I l T P P P l I P P B1 IP
- 1 I 8 P
- 1 I PPHI IP
- 1 I PPHI I P
-

Subject B 1 I P P H I I P P H I 8 I H H1 I P
— H1 I I
- I I 8 P i l l I P H 1 ‘1 I P i l l 8 P H I I I P H I I i F
- 1 8 8 P H I 8 P P H I I f P H I I P P H I I P P H I I P P H I I P P H I 8 P P I I I P P I I I P P 1 "8 I P P I I I P H I I I P H I I I P H I I I P P I I 8 P
- -
I I I P 1 I PPHI I I PPI I B P
- 1 I f PHI I PPHI I PPHI I PPHI I P
- 1' I P
- 1'1 I P H 1 1 I P H I I I P
- - -
1 I 1 P 1 I I P 1 I I PHI I PPHI I PPHI I PPHI I IP
- 1 I I P H I I P H H1 I P
- H I P
- H 8 I P H1H I P
- 1'1 I I H I I I P H 1 1 I P H I I I P H I I I P H I I I P H I I 8 P H I I I P

Detail

Detail PPHIIPPHI PPHI I PPII I PPII PPII i PHIIRREAI PHI i i PHI I i PHIIPPHI ii PHi i PPHIIREAL IPPHI I PPHIIPPII IPPII i r p n 1 PPII IPPHI I PHIIIPPI I IPPI I I PPI I PPI I I PPI 1 I PHI PPHI I I P
- 1 I I PHI
1
P H H 1 I P P H I I P H I “I p a n i PHII i rni i p a n i PH ill PHI i PHI I PPHI I PPHI I PPHI 8 PPHI I PPHI I PPII I PPII I PPII I PPI I 8 PPI I I PHI IPH1 IIPP1 II P
- -
1 IP 1 I 8 P
- 1 I PPHI PPHI I PPHI I P
-

Body
Paragraph 2* ft
Point of
Comparison 2
Subject A I H

Detail H I PH

Detail

Subject B I H

Detail 1
3 t, PPII I pPa PHII I PPII I PPII P H I I I P H I I P H H1 1 P H I I I P H I I I P H I I I P H I I I P H I I I P H I I I'P H l I P P H I I P H I I I P P H I I P P I I I T H 1 H I P P I I I P P H I I P H I I I P P I I I P P I I I P H I
1
I PPI I I PPI I I PHI IP
- 1 I I P
- 1 I I’P H l P H H1 I P P H I I P H I I PHII i PHII i rni I PHII I PH 111 PHI I PHI I PPHI I PPHI I PPHI 8 PPHI I PPHI I PPII I PPII I PHII I PPI I 8 PPI I I PHI I P H I I* P P P 1 I P P H I I H
— 1 I 8 P
- 1 I PPHI PPHI I PPHI I P
-

Detail

COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS 141


Body
Paragraph 3 : IV
Point of
Comparison 3

Subject A A, J I HII BIIJ I II IIEBB III Lllil I II I. I I I i i in i i in II i IIIIIIIII i i i ii II II II E J II El l I I i i i UII i EII i i HII IIIIIIII IIE

Detai! 1 ll ft i FIB .
iI BB ll .
LI i IIJ II Bin Ii il II BBU III r J imi4 p B i iIH I B i nm i BB III 1 BB IIIIIB J B B IIEBB .
I BB J IIIII II BII BB BI IIIIB M BB B BB IIIBB B IBBI BB

Detai! 2.* E
-
i ii J i mmm IIIIIBIill IIIIIIIII II BBJ IEI JI E II I I i: H IIBillI I I I III1IIJ IEBB J I IBB IIBBI I I IBBBIIEBB BB IIEBH I IBBH I

Subject B I II Bill I BBI II BB II J II I I BBI I EBBJ I I II I I EBB I I EBB I I BB I I BB II IB B II IIIBB IIIIIII BBBI IEBB I IBBH IIBBB I IIBB IIE II BBB II II BB I II BBH II I EB EBB IIEBB IIEBB II BBB II BBIIUBUI I EB

Detai! 1
III A FIBII IIliBB IIIi B I IBB BBI Ii BB BBB IIBBB BBB B B ilI EBB BBBII B fl J B IIBB I B I BBB II BB B BII I BBBIIBBIIIBB B IIEBB .
I BB J I BBB I IIBBB BB BB IIBBB II BBB BBB IIBBB IBBil BB

Detai! 2 . I E l I Bill IBBB


: BHIlEBfall I I I I II H I EBBJ I I BB I I E II II E J I IIEBBJ I EBBJ I BBB I I BBB I BBBIIBBBIIEBB BBB I BBB I I

VI
. . CPUCIusJp.ti I I BBB I I BBB I IBBB I I I BB I I EBBJ IEBBJ I BBB I I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB IBBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB IBBB I IBBB I BBB I IBBB

STEP 4: WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT

Now it is time to write your first draft. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.

1 Use your outline, notes, and the sentences you wrote in the Your Turns and in Step 3 on
page 141.
2 Reread the sentences that you wrote using the writing skills and grammar that you learned in
Section 4. Try to use them in your essay
3 Remember to add a title.

After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors.
1 Check that all sentences are complete sentences.
2 Go through and look at every comma. Is it correct? Should it be a period ?
3 Check that you have cited quotes and paraphrases.
4 Make sure your thesis statement and topic sentences are clear.

STEP 5: WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT


1 After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.
2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Academic Phrases from this unit. Are there any that
you can add to your essay?
4 Turn to page 273 and use the Self-Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.

142 UNIT 4
PROBLEM-SOLUTION
ESSAYS
PUBLIC HEALTH: MEDIA

He who has health,


has hope; and he
who has hope, has
everything. "
Thomas Carlyle
0795-1881 )

About the Author:


Work with a partner. Read the quotation about health.
Thomas Carlyle was
Then answer the questions. a Scottish writer and
historian known for his
1 What did the author compare good health to? Why? social commentary about
2 Carlyle stated, "He who has hope, has everything." What does having the Victorian era in Great
Britain.
"everything" mean to you?
3 What recent advancements in modern medicine have given people
hope for a longer, healthier life?

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 143


1 PREPARE YOUR IDEAS

O Connect to Academic Writing


In this unit you will learn skills to help you analyze problems and solutions. While some of the
writing skills that you will use may be new to you, the skill of solving problems is not new. In
your everyday life you solve problems when you ask questions such as What can I do to catch up
when I miss class ? and What can I do to make sure I get a good job in a tight job market?

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will choose a writing prompt and reflect on it. You will develop these ideas
throughout the unit and use them to practice skills that are necessary to write your essay.
The writing prompt below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 150—1 52. The
student reflected on her topic and used a chart to identify different solutions. This helped her
think of a possible thesis.

r WRITING PROMPT: Some families find themselves in a situation where a family member has a
disease for which treatment is very expensive. Often these families find themselves in debt from
the medical bills. What are some solutions that would help families pay the costs?

Problem: Possible solution 1:


because health raise money online
care is expensive,
some families are Possible solution 2:
going into debt use cheaper, nontraditional treatment options

Possible solution 3:
organize a fund- raising event

Possible solution:

Possible solution:
I .
l fa l I .
l fa l I .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .
l fa l I .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .I
l fa l .
l fa l I l I l I .I
l fa l .
l fa l I I I I J I J I J

My thesis: Americans with high medical bills could raise money online.

1.1 Notice
All of the solutions above might help someone deal with high medical costs. What other
solutions might also be possible ? Compare ideas with a partner. Which solution do you
think is best, and why ?

144 UNITS
& 1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on your topic.

A Choose a prompt:

• Now that international travel is very easy, the spread of infectious diseases such as Ebola
is expanding. What are some possible solutions for controlling epidemics and outbreaks
( diseases quickly spreading around the world)? Consider ways to use technology to
identify and warn the public in order to stop or slow down outbreaks.
• When patients are diagnosed with diseases they know nothing about, they tend to feel
frightened and helpless. What are some ways to deal with this problem? How can patients
in this situation find the information and support they need?
• Many mental health experts are concerned that excessive Internet use can lead to health
issues, such as depression and anxiety. What are some ways to avoid these consequences ?
• A topic approved by your instructor
B Work with a partner and complete the following tasks:
1 Think about your prompt. Decide what you will focus on in your essay.
2 Complete the chart below. Start by thinking about why this is a problem before you try to
solve it. Add more boxes if you need them.
3 Write a possible thesis statement.

Problem: Possible solution 1:


7 c p i B r i B r a H ria r = r T i

i i > .
L I I J .. J
L 1 a a Bia j a .
ii in i a i L .
I I a a B i i a a Bia a a a. i i a .
L I a a a . . .
a i i a a a i a a a a i i a B a. a a a a. i i a a a, i .
a a a a i i a L I . a a L I. a a a a. i a a a a. i i a a .
L I a a a . .
a i i a a a i a a a a, i i a L I. a a a .
B I a a a . .
a i a a a a i i a B a. a a ..
L I a a a a. i a a a a i

Possible solution 2:
rv m r r n r
i P r H i
^r r T a r i 7 s r p i 7 P r i 7 p i 7 p p i 7 r T7 s P77 p

.
i a 14 j a B i i a . i.
K a .
ii b .
a a .a
a B i a a B a. a a B A, a a a B I .
a a a B I a a a B a. a. a a B .
a a a . a. a
a B I a B I a a a B .
a a a B J .a a a B I a. a a B I .
a a a B J.a a a B I.

P T 7 P P T 7 B P T 7
- P T 7 7 P T 7 7 P P 7 7 P

Possible solution 3:
i ft

B .. a
a i. a
p

Possible thesis statement:


+ f

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 145


O EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE

In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your problem-solution
essay. You will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of problem-
solution writing.

O Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. Many are from the Academic Word List. Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

anxiety (n) demonstrate (v) logical (adj) tendency (n)


apparent (adj) irrational (adj) probability (n) trigger (v)

2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Match the words to their meanings. Write the letters.
A

1 Allergy symptoms have many causes and, according a reasonable and based on
to one study, can even be triggered by reading news good judgment
reports about increased pollen counts.
i a r r
2 One pattern that researchers have noticed is that people b to cause something to start
who read about an illness online have a tendency to
believe they may suffer from the same disease .
3 Because Internet searches are cheaper and more c how likely it is that
convenient than a doctor's visit, looking up symptoms something will happen
online is a logical first step for many patients.
l I H l i J I l l l i
4 The probability of finding reliable health information d a way of acting or thinking
on the Internet is often not good because there is so that someone does
much inaccurate information online. repeatedly

146 UNITS
B
1 Many people have an irrational need to diagnose a an uncomfortable feeling
themselves with web-based information, even of worry
though they know they lack medical training.
2 The evidence in the study helped doctors b not based on clear
demonstrate the need for online communication thinking; not reasonable
with patients between appointments.
3 More evidence is needed to prove that the apparent c seeming to be true
link between Internet use and depression is real.
4 Patients who diagnose themselves online often suffer d to show that something
anxiety when a website incorrectly tells them they is true; prove
have a serious disease.

O Academic Collocations
Collocations are words that are frequently used together. Research tells us that the academic
vocabulary in Part A is commonly used in the collocations in bold below.

2.2 Focus on Meaning

Read the paragraph. Then match the phrases in bold next to the purpose, or reason why,
the writer used them.
Recent research on cyberbuilying, posting hurtful comments on the Internet, reveals
that cyberbuilying is a real problem with mental health consequences. The data clearly
demonstrate that cyberbuilying has a connection to reports of low self-esteem and depression
in teenagers. Before the Internet became the primary social space for young people, teenagers
could get away from their bullies when they left school. Now, because young people continue
to interact on the Internet after school, they have a high probability of meeting those same
bullies and new ones online. This is one of the reasons why cyberbuilying is such a serious
problem. One recent study of teenage girls indicated that they have an irrational tendency
to reach out to those bullying them online and try to form friendships, even though this does
not seem to make sense. The logical conclusion of this activity, as the study showed, is that
the bullying will only get worse, which means the problem gets worse. The girls also reported
feeling worse about themselves after this interaction, but they continued the connections in
various social media. Basic logic would say that the girls should stop doing this because it
makes them feel bad about themselves, but they also reported being afraid of more bullying
if they broke the connection all together. The complexity of this problem comes from these
interrelated factors that make any solution very difficult.
Collocation Purpose
i clearly demonstrate a to show that there is a good chance of something
2 high probability occurring
3 irrational tendency b to introduce an obvious result
c to emphasize common sense
4 logical conclusion
d to introduce something that has been proven
5 basic logic
e to emphasize a strange habit

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 147


0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "The Psychology Behind Cyberchondria" analyzes a problem and possible
solutions to strengthen her argument.
Before you read, answer these questions: Have you ever read an article online that made you
believe you had an illness you did not have ? How can people solve this problem ?
Now read the article. Think about your answers to the questions above as you read.

l It’s a familiar story. You’re not feeling


very well , so you rush to a website such
as WebMD or MedicineNet to find out
what might be wrong with you. When
you leave the sites, you’re convinced
that your headache and nausea indicate
that you must have brain cancer. This
kind of hypochondria 1 that comes from
reading medical websites has been called
“cyberchondria.” It is now increasingly
common for people to visit the Internet
instead of the doctor’s office. According to a
2009 Pew poll, 61 percent of Americans use on the list are common ones that a person
the Internet for medical information, and might actually have, such as headache,
other recent studies have shown wide levels nausea, and fatigue, the cyberchondriac
of increased anxiety triggered by this habit. will jump to the conclusion that he or she
must have all of the other symptoms on the
2 But why should simply reading online about,
list, too. According to the study, gamblers
say, Hodgkin’s lymphoma2 convince us that
may have a similar tendency . When they
we too have the disease ? A study in the April
get a number of good rolls of the dice, tor
2012 issue of Psychological Science suggests
example, they believe - irrationally - that
that an irrational tendency is at work in
they have “ hit a hot streak” and their good
the brains of cyberchondriacs. The study
luck will continue.
looks at what happens when people read a
list of symptoms. 2 It the first few symptoms 3 To test this theory, researchers devised an
experiment. They started by inventing a
fictional type of thyroid4 cancer. They then
created three different lists of the same six
symptoms. One list grouped the milder
hypochondria : a condition in which a person worries about and more common symptoms ( fatigue,
their health more than is normal although they are not shortness of breath ) together at the top of
really ill
:Hodgkin’s lymphoma: cancer of the lymphatic system, the
part of the body that helps fight infection and disease
’thyroid: an organ in the neck that produces a substance that
’symptoms: physical feelings or problems which show that a helps the body grow and develop
person has a particular illness

148 UNIT 5
the list . The more severe and rare symptoms who say they have hit a hot streak , Kwan says
( pain in the throat or neck, lump in the throat that cyberchondriacs believe they have “ hot
or neck ) were listed together at the bottom. symptoms.” In other words, when they read
The second list presented the more severe that they have the first couple of symptoms
symptoms together first , followed by the on a list , they think they must have the rest
milder ones. In the third list all the symptoms of the symptoms, and they must have the
were mixed up. Healthy individuals were disease.
given one of the three lists. They were asked Kwan hopes that sites like WebMD will use
5
to check oft their symptoms, and then asked
her results to help decrease anxiety among
how likely they were to have the cancer
their customers. They could do this by not
compared to the average American. Both listing a lot of common symptoms together.
groups that read the lists of mild symptoms On the other hand, Kwan points out that
separated from severe symptoms were far
heightened anxiety isn’t always a bad thing.
more likely to believe themselves at risk tor
For example, during an outbreak of a serious
this fictional cancer than the group with the
disease in a community, she says, “It may
symptoms mixed up.
be good to group the common symptoms
4 According to Virginia Kwan, a psychologist together [in that situation ] so that people
at Arizona State University and lead author pay more attention .” In any case, next time
on the study, the results clearly demonstrate your neck aches and WebMD suggests you
that the human brain unconsciously looks tor may have viral meningitis, don’t panic. Just
and finds patterns. Unfortunately, it appears remember that diagnosis" is best left to a
that the brain is often too quick to assume medical professional.
that there is a pattern and this frequently
leads us to ignore basic logic and to imagine "diagnosis: when a doctor says what is wrong when someone
probabilities that don’t exist. Like gamblers is sick

2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 Why does the author think that cyberchondria is a problem? Which of these reasons do you
think are the strongest? What are some other reasons why it might be a problem?
2 What were the results of Kwan's study, and why does she think the different groups reacted
differently? Do you agree with her interpretation of the results ?
3 Do you think the solution to cyberchondria suggested in this article is a good one ? Why or
why not?

& 2.4 Notice the Writing

Answer the questions.


1 In which paragraph( s) does the author describe why cyberchondria is a problem? In which
paragraph(s) does the author propose a solution to the problem? Circle the words that
helped you find this.
2 What kinds of evidence does the author use to show why cyberchondria is a problem?
Underline specific words and phrases.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 149


3 STUDY ACADEMIC WRITING

In Section 1 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on her topic. In this section
you will analyze the final draft of her problem-solution essay. You will learn how to structure
your ideas for your own essay.

O Student Model
Read the writing prompt again and answer the questions.
WRITING PROMPT: Some families find themselves in a situation where a family member has a
disease for which treatment is very expensive. Often these families find themselves in debt from
the medical bills. What are some solutions that would help families pay the costs?
1 What is the central problem the writer must propose a solution to ?
2 Will the writer need to provide background on the problem and the solution?
3 What are some solutions the writer might propose?

Read the essay twice. The first time, think about your answers to the questions above.
The second time, answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes. This will help
you notice key features of problem- solution essays.

< $
0 1 Analyze Writing Skills
Social Media, Consumers, and Health Care How does the writer
begin the introduction?
1 What is the number- one cause of serious financial problems for people in
a with an interesting
the United States today? The answer is medical bills. Recovering from a serious question
illness or accident is not only physically challenging , it is also expensive. I b with a quote from an
expert
found this surprising when I moved here from Thailand. Back home, the c with a personal
anecdote
government has established a universal health care system that covers almost
all medical expenses. In the United States, however, even people with health 2 Analyze Writing Skills
insurance must pay many of the charges for their care. Since surgeries, How does the writer
organize the background
treatments, and medications often cost thousands of dollars, medical bills information in the
introduction?
can force people into debt and even bankruptcy. Unfortunately, this problem
a explaining steps
has not been solved by the government yet. However, there is now a creative b giving definitions
solution: crowdfunding, or raising money on the Internet. Crowdfunding is a c comparing and
contrasting
practical and effective way for Americans struggling with medical costs
to get help. \ 3 Analyze Writing Skills
2 Recent research clearly demonstrates that financial difficulty related to Read the thesis statement
and underline the
medical expenses is common. According to a study by the National Bureau problem it mentions.
Then, circle the solution
of Economic Research , 75 percent of American adults would have trouble it gives .
producing $2,000 in a medical emergency ( Childers). What if they needed
more ? For example, the average cancer patient must pay about $8,500 each
year for health care ( Childers) . Exorbitant 1 costs are one problem; another is
exorbitant: much too large ( a price or demand )

150 UNIT 5
4 Analyze Writing Skills
loss of wages. If a sick family member misses work and loses income as a result, Why does the writer
include research in
it may be impossible for the family to pay their bills. In fact, over 62 percent of paragraph 2?
personal bankruptcies are attributed to2 medical expenses ( Himmelstein et al. ). a to give solutions for
high medical bills
Life - threatening health problems cause enough anxiety for individuals and b to prove that medical
the people close to them . It is shocking that they have to suffer financially, too. expenses are expensive
c to show why universal
However, with the rise in the cost of health care and without a universal health health care is a better
care program, this unfortunate situation will persist.3 option

3 Crowdfunding is an excellent solution because it is easy to get started , and 5 Analyze Writing Skills
the results are usually good . Fund -raising websites, such as Giveforward.com Circle the sentence
in paragraph 3 that
and GoFundMe.com , offer simple instructions for setting up a web page and introduces the benefits of
sharing it on social media, such as Facebook and Twitter. The page usually crowdfunding .

explains the reason for raising money and states a goal. Contributors are 6 Analyze Writing Skills
encouraged to donate as much as they want and to include personal notes. Why does the writer
include the example of
Since crowdfunding sites can reach a large number of people, and many small the Kennett family in
donations add up, there is a high probability that fund -raising goals will be paragraph 3?
a to give background
reached. The Kennett family is just one example. When Chip Kennett needed about the problem
financial support for lung cancer treatment, his family started a web page on b to show an example
of how the solution
Giveforward.com . It triggered a huge response, and in just two weeks, 325 of works
their friends and family members donated almost $57,000 dollars ( Mayer ). c to criticize the U . S.
health care system
The money eased the family’s concerns and raised their spirits, too. ‘It was
inspiring to check the dollar figure and the notes from friends. It provided
emotional comfort that was extremely uplifting, ” Kennett says.
4 Whereas some people think fund- raising events attract more donors
7 Analyze Writing Skills
because of their personal nature, this apparent advantage is outweighed by the In paragraph 4, the
disadvantages. First, there is a tendency to charge a lot of money for tickets. writer uses First, Another,
and Furthermore. What
When I received an invitation to a fund- raising concert for a neighbor who was is the purpose of these
transition words ?
sick, I felt sorry that I could not afford the cost of a seat. However, if I had been
a to list the
asked to decide on an amount and contribute online, I certainly would have. disadvantages
Another drawback is the time and effort required to organize an event. By b to give examples
c to explain the benefits
contrast, it takes only minutes to raise money online. Furthermore, fundraisers
only attract local donors. Crowdfunding, on the other hand, reaches a much
larger audience, attracting donors from all over the world.

^ attributed to: said or thought to be the result of something


persist: to continue to exist or to do something past the usual time, even when facing opposition

(CONTINUED)

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 151


5 In short, it is a shame that medical costs are unreasonably high and that
seriously ill people need to ask others for help in a country as rich as ours. i Analyze Writing Skills
Underline the sentence
At present, crowdfunding is the most effective and efficient way to solve this in the conclusion that
restates the problem and
problem. However, this solution should be temporary. The logical conclusion solution.
is that the government should replace its current system with one that provides
care for everyone.
Works Cited
Childers, Linda, ” When Medical Bills Pile Up, Can You Crowdfund Your Health Caref " Fortes , Forbes, 17 Apr. 2013, Web. 11 Mar, 2014,
Himmelstein, David U„ Deb orah Thorne, Elizabeth Warren, and Steffie Wo olh an diet. Medical Bankruptcy in the United States , 2007:
.
Results of a National Study: American Journal of Medicine 112 8 ( 2009 ): n, pag 5 June 2009. Web, 14 Nov 2014.
, , ,

-
Mayer, Caroline. ' A Growing Number of Patients Turn to Crowd funding Sites to Defray Medical Costs " Washitigt&ii Post
,

Washington Post, 1 July 2013. Web, 14 Nov, 2014 ,

3.1 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 Why does the writer think that this problem is important? Do you agree with the reasons she
gives? Why or why not?
2 Do you think the proposed solution is a good one? Why or why not?
3 What does the writer say about fund-raising events in body paragraph 3 ? Do you agree ?
Why or why not?

& 3.2 Outline the ideas

Complete the outline for "Social Media, Consumers, and Health Care."

152 UNIT 5
ESSAY OUTLINE

t . t .. Introdnotion I I IJ I .
I BilJ I I I I I I L I U I I I I J I I I 1 1 1I I l l i l I I IIIJ I I LBB I I I I I b

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Statement
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The Problem

Supporting
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Supporting
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Paragraph 2:
The Best III, Crowdfunding is easy and effective. g g B

Solution
Supporting
Idea 1
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Detail .
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PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 153


Body
Paragraph 3:
An Alternative
.
IV Fund-raising events not as effective b b > . .a. b b

Solution
Supporting
Idea 1
.
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Supporting
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Idea 2
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Supporting
Idea 3
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.
V Conclusion .
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O Problem-Solution Essays
Writers use the structure of a problem-solution essay to analyze a problem for their readers and
propose a solution based on the analysis. As part of their proposal they consider alternative
solutions and explain why those solutions are not as effective as the one they are proposing.
There are different ways to structure this type of essay. Below is a typical method of organization.

Introductory paragraph: Introduces the topic and prepares the reader by including
- a hook, such as a fact, quotation, or question that makes readers care about the problem.
- background information that makes readers understand the importance of the problem.
- a thesis statement that gives both the problem and the solution, and makes clear why
the solution will work.
Body paragraph 1: Describes the problem in more detail, by stating
- what the problem is.
- who it affects and how it affects them.
- reasons why it is still a problem.
Body paragraph 2: Describes the proposed solution to the problem, by including
- a clear description of the solution.
- reasons, evidence, or examples that show why the solution would work.
Body paragraph 3: Explains why another solution would not work as well by describing
an alternative solution.
- why some people think it will work.
- reasons and examples to show why this idea will not work as well as the proposed
solution.
Concluding paragraph: Brings the essay to a close by
- restating the thesis and the main idea of each body paragraph.
- reminding readers of the importance of the topic.
- ending with a recommendation of something people can do to solve the problem.

154 UNITS
& 3.3 Notice
In which paragraph(s) would you expect to find the answers to these questions?
1 Why should readers care about this topic ? li 4 > .
h i J >

2 Why does this problem need to be solved? 4 4 a k

3 Has the problem already been solved ? Why or why not?


4 What is the best way to solve the problem? Why? H I I I I ! ,l i J I B l i f l .1
: I

5 What other solutions have been proposed? Why will they not work as well?
I P

6 What can people do about this problem?

BODY PARAGRAPH 1
The first important step in writing a problem-solution essay is making sure your reader
understands the problem and why it needs to be solved. You can do this in the first body
paragraph of your essay. A good paragraph will do all of the things below. Notice the bold
words in the examples. These are common phrases used to describe problems and will help
make your own writing more effective.
• Explain what the problem is.
The word cyberbuHying describes bullying that happens online, for example, by posting hurtful
or untrue comments about someone on social media.
• Describe who the problem affects.
Cyberbuilying has become a serious issue around the world, not only for young people on the
Internet, but for adults as well.
• Explain how the problem affects these people.
It is a problem because studies have shown a strong link between cyberbuilying and serious,
long - term psychological problems for not only the victims but also their friends, colleagues, and
family.
• Explain why the problem needs to be solved.
The challenge is to address this problem so that young people and adults can go online without
fear of being mistreated.
• Explain why the problem hasn't been solved yet.
However, cyberbuilying has been difficult to stop in the past because people can post hurtful
comments anonymously and because many victims are reluctant to report the abuse.

There are many phrases you can use to introduce problems, including:
X is / describes / refers to ...
the problem / challenge is ...
the main / key / most important problem is ...
a secondary issue / problem is ...
while X is a factor, the most urgent issue is ...
X is / has become a (serious) problem because ...

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 155


& 3.4 Identify Purposes
Befow is the first body paragraph from the Student Model. Write the numbers of the
sentences in the paragraph next to the blanks beside their purpose . You may write some
numbers more than once.

(1) Recent research clearly demonstrates that financial difficulty related to medical expenses is
common. (2) According to a study by the National Bureau of Economic Research, 75 percent
of American adults would have trouble producing $ 2,000 in a medical emergency (Childers).
What if they needed more? (3) For example, the average cancer patient must pay about $ 8,500
each year for health care (Childers). Exorbitant costs are one problem; another is loss of wages.
(4) If a sick family member misses work and loses income as a result, it may be impossible for
the family to pay their bills. (5) In fact, over 62 percent of personal bankruptcies are attributed
to medical expenses (Himmelstein et al.). (6) Life-threatening health problems cause enough

anxiety for individuals and the people close to them. It is shocking that they have to suffer
financially, too. (7) However, with the rise in the cost of health care and without a universal
health care program, this unfortunate situation will persist.

Explains what the problem is: ... I I I I I I

Describes who the problem affects and how it affects them:

Explains why the problem still needs to be solved:

3.5 Practice
Read the writing prompt about a problem associated with social media. Write five
sentences that explain the problem using the phrases in the box.

is / describes / refers to a secondary issue / problem is


the problem / challenge is while -
i * . is a factor, the most urgent issue is
the main / key / most important problem is is / has become a (serious) problem because

WRITING PROMPT: Social media can cause users to become depressed as a result of a feeling
of dissatisfaction from comparing their lives to others. What are some solutions to this problem?
i .... j J I B I I Li I

2 n
-
i r rin r r ri r 11" n r i r i
?

3 i m r « n B

4 l i 't P T I P P ' T 1 p i i i p p i
^ p p r s i i p 1
^ P P T t 1 P P H I P P i l l P P i l l

156 UNIT 5
& 3.6 Apply It to Your Writing k

Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1 on page 145. Use the space
W
below to write sentences that describe your problem. Try to use the phrases on page 156.
in L in i i J . .
i i i i L i u u i L i n i i B i i J i B i a i i K B i i i i i i i i iia a a i l a i i i a i i i a a i i i H a i i i J L m L n a i

+i i -
r H 1i r p i = p » 5 S' P 4 t 4 S4
- + 4 I+ +4 4 S + +

5 I I I r i r a

.
a k

1 1 s P I I B P I B B ' 1 P 1’ 1 B I B B

BODY PARAGRAPH 2
In the second body paragraph, you will present your solution and why it would work. That
means explaining specifically and convincingly how the solution would solve the problem.
The elements below will help you do this. Notice the bold words in the examples. These are
common phrases used to describe solutions.

• Explain what the solution is.


One solution to cyberbuilying is to contact the parents or teachers of the bully; or another person
who is an authority figure.
Completely removing an addict from the Internet to begin recovery is a possible solution to the
problem.
Bringing bullies and their victims together for therapy must be considered as a solution to
cyberbuilying.
• Describe how the solution can be implemented.
The solution to the problem lies in emailing or calling the parents of a buily or speaking in
person to a school official.
The problem of Internet addiction can be solved by providing counseling and psychological
treatment in the same way that other addictions are treated.
In order to make this solution work, parents and schools must work together.
• Give reasons, evidence from research, or examples that show why the solution would work.
Involving authorities from the offline world would solve the problem because they can talk to the
bully and closely mon/ for his or her Internet use.
For example, Cail Andrews, a noted advice columnist for parents, has written that contacting the
parents of the girts who cyberbullied her daughter provided a great deal of relief.
One study demonstrates that it is effective to hold a family intervention for Internet addicts so
they can hear how their behavior has hurt loved ones.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 157


3.7 Notice
Read the second body paragraph from the Student Model on pages 150-152. Circle the
phrases or words that help show the solution.

3.8 Practice
Use the phrases below to write sentences that explain solutions Use the example .
language from this section to help you.
1 (Reliable websites / accurate information / because)
Reliable websites c^n provide accurate infarmation because they are based on hmd .
i mmm mhmd m m m d fi

reeearch and updated regularly .... t ir T 'i i r mi r mi P


*I
p ii i P I I i
^ i nn

2 (Intensive addiction counseling / can be a solution / because)


4 .
J 4 L 4
*
k k
*

r r i i a r r i i s i B r i 'i i e r i i i r p i i
^ r i f n P i i r r v H i p r i n i e r ’i i B
*

3 (The problem of / can be solved by / psychological treatment)


..
B I 4 .
4 4 .
k 4 4 .
I 4 4 k 4 4 k I 4 .
I 4 4 k I k 1 4 4 k . .. .
k I 4 B I I k I 4 k I I I 4 k k I 4 4 k I 4 4 . .
k I 4 4 B k I B k I 4 a B 4 k k k .1. fc a a k I. k a

a p rI B

4 (One recent study / in-patient addiction counseling)


k n a a B k i 4 B II a a B i B l> L I 4 B I I I I 4 B I 4 4 B k I 4 4 B k I B B I B B B k I B B B a B u a a* .
4 B I a a B i a B B B I a B i a a a k : B I I a B 1 1 4 I 4 L I .
I B ft I 4 . .
:i B u i a a B i i 4 J a k 4 a
& 3.9 Apply It to Your Writing
Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1. Write sentences
explaining the solution you will propose in your essay and why it will work.
I: L L I L I I n i l i a .
i i» .
I III L a m i i i i i i l l J

+M i S I H r r r H r i r l H S + H H '!' + H I F +
'

r i i i i r i i i i i i i n i i i

B r R " r r i r r B P r

BODY PARAGRAPH 3
The third body paragraph in a problem-solution essay presents an alternative solution
and identifies its weaknesses. In this paragraph, you may sometimes acknowledge that the
alternative solution has some strengths, but the main purpose is to explain its disadvantages.
This will help make it clear why your solution is better.
A strong paragraph will do all of the things below. Notice the bold words in the examples.
These are ail common phrases used to acknowledge and refute alternative solutions and will
help make your own writing more effective.
• Describe an alternative solution.
Some people may argue that the only way to avoid cyberbullying is not to go online at all, or at
least not to use social media.
It has been argued that no treatment is needed for these people, as they are not really addicts.
It has been suggested that cyberbullying can be solved with the same methods as face- to-face
bullying.
• Explain why some people think it will work.
Some may argue that cyberbullies can only hurt people who are actually online, so by staying
offline you will not be hurt.
It seems reasonable that Internet addiction is not as serious a problem as drug addiction.
It is generally accepted that face- to- face bullying includes physical violence that cyberbullying
does not.
• Give reasons, evidence, and examples that show why this solution will not work as well or
has disadvantages.
However, the problem with this solution is that bullies can still post hurtful or untrue things
about someone, even if that person is not on social media. The effect is still the same because
people continue the bullying face- to- face as well as online.
While some research shows that Internet addiction may be exaggerated and gives evidence that
treatment is not needed, the truth is that the problem requires attention and the addicts need
treatment.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 159


For example, if you do not open your own social media account, bullies could open one in your
name and use it to insult and hurt you.
• Explain how your solution works better.
Teaching students that cyberbullying is a crime and showing them ways to get help is a better
way to prevent cyberbullying. This creates an environment that does not allow bullies .
• Writers use a variety of phrases and expressions to convince the reader of their solution.
As these examples show, Internet addiction is in fact a real disease and must be treated as one.
It is clear that completely avoiding the Internet is the only solution to the problem.
As these studies show, it is obvious that this approach is the only way to help children deal with
cyberbullying.
It is also worth noting that sometimes this paragraph appears as body paragraph 2, with your
own solution proposed in body paragraph 3.

& 3.10 Identify Purpose


Below is the third body paragraph from the Student Essay. Write the number of each
sentence next to its purpose below, using the explanation above to guide you. You may
write some numbers more than once.

(1) Whereas some people think fund-raising events attract more donors because of their
personal nature, this apparent advantage is outweighed by the disadvantages. (2) First, there
is a tendency to charge a lot of money for tickets. ( 3) When I received an invitation to a fund-
raising concert for a neighbor who was sick, I felt sorry that 1 couldn't afford the cost of a seat.
(4) However, if I had been asked to decide on an amount and contribute online, I certainly
would have. (5) Another drawback is the time and effort required to organize an event. (6) By
contrast, it takes only minutes to raise money online. ( 7) Furthermore, fundraisers only attract

local donors. (8) Crowdfunding, on the other hand, reaches a much larger audience, attracting
donors from all over the world.

Describe the alternative solution and why some people think it would work:

Give disadvantages of the alternative solution:

Give a fact, example, or statistic to show the weakness of the solution:

Explain why the writer's solution is better: .... i r

160 UNIT 5
& 3.11 Apply It to Your Writing
Return to your chart for your essay in Section 1 on page 145. Write sentences
that describe another solution and why it will not work well.
i in i i E L I II L 1 11 1 LI
!1 I I J I I I >1 II .
I I J 1 I I I I J LI I. J J i J a d f l i i J L i a i i j a a i i j a f l i i j a a i i j a L i i LI a a r I I a j a m J n a a .
i n a a i n a a i a a J a L i .
a a a uJ a a i t, j a a

i i i .
a

.a
fa i m m m fa a m 3 h
-
I fa
-
fa fa m m . - - a-
a a fa

I r a

INTRODUCTORY AND CONCLUDING PARAGRAPHS


In the introductory paragraph, give background information that makes readers care about
the problem and see the need to solve it. Show your readers that this problem could affect
them or people they care about. You can do this with facts, specific examples, or a short
description of a situation that illustrates the problem.
• Facts:
The Family Caregivers Alliance estimates that 44 million Americans over 18 provide unpaid care
to family members who are seriously ill or not able to care for themselves (''Caregiving").
• Examples:
For example, thousands of Americans have sought counseling for Internet addiction in the last
decade.
• Description of a situation:
Joshua H. suffered from Internet addiction in high school and stopped showing up to class in
February. His parents did not know this was such a problem.
The thesis statement should mention the problem and the solution, and make clear why this
solution would work.
SOLUTION PROBLEM WHY (T WILL WORK

Online support groups offer the support caregivers need while also providing the flexibility to a//ow
them to get help when they can.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 161


3.12 Notice
Look at the introductory paragraph below. Underline the sentences that make you care
about this problem and the need to solve it.

The Internet has changed the world in so many positive ways. Who would have thought
that an addiction to it could harm people and do real damage to their lives? The thousands
of Americans who have sought counseling for internet addiction have realized this. Their
loved ones have as well because they have seen family members lose jobs, friends, and
lives because they became addicted to the Internet. As online life grows more important to
professional and academic lives each year, Internet addiction becomes a more important
problem to solve. By treating Internet addiction like a real addiction and providing
counseling and treatment, these addicts and their families can get the help that they
desperately need to save themselves and their futures.

3.13 Notice
Read the thesis statements below on cyberbullying. Does each statement include
the problem, the solution, and a reason why the solution would work ? If not, what is
missing ? Compare your answer with a partner.
1 Cyberbullying is a widespread problem that impacts many young people around the world
today. It can be solved by involving parents and school officials.
2 Cyberbullying is a serious problem that needs to be solved by involving school officials
and parents because they have the power to change online behavior and its real-world
consequences.

& 3.14 Apply It to Your Writing


Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1. Write three sentences
that make your readers care about the topic. Compare with a partner. Which of the
strategies above did your partner use ? Were your partner 's sentences effective ?

I il I Id I .
li I I l I I .
I I H I il l I I I ii i ii i l j i i i l ii i id a il n i ii i ii i i ini ! i i i i ii i i i i i i i i l ii i i I i n i i i i a i i i i i i I H I B il il li il .
I I I i I I I b I I I b I I I b I .
I m

+ + + + + -
f + + ++ + + + ++ 8
- 8 8
* --
8 f 8 + + + -
ft i-

i i i n n i i i r r i r i i H in n r i n u n n nn n r u n i -i i i r i n r n n n u n i r n :r n n t r PI n
* n m m m m r II i i' i n I El Id -
I r i i i i n i i n id n i

--- L .
i . i I. X 4-

r n r p r p i i 9 r i i r r i i i e r i i i r 1 i B p I B P " l r p 11 B p i p P 1 9 P P 1 9 P P 1 1 P P P P P P P P P I fl 1 P P B r r m P r i P T I P P

h b J i b i i k .
1 a k J a k k J a k k J a k k A .1. i. j j a .^
i d a k a b i .a a i i b b i a a b b i a a b b i - a a b b i a a
In the concluding paragraph, remind readers of the importance of the problem, the need to
solve it, and the reasons why your solution will work.

In short, it is a shame that medical costs are unreasonably high and that seriously ill people
need to ask others for help in a country as rich as ours. At present crowdfunding is the most
effective and efficient way to solve this problem. However, this solution should be temporary. The
logical conclusion is that the government should replace its current system with one that provides
care for everyone.
The last thing to leave your reader with is a strong comment, recommendation, or call to
action in order to motivate the reader to think about the problem further. Read the examples
below. The phrases in bold are commonly used for these statements.
It is necessary to recognize Internet addiction as a physical and psychological problem that
requires the same treatment as drug or alcohol addiction.
In order to help victims of bullies, schools and parents must join forces to change behavior on
both sides .
I sincerely hope that the government will soon replace its current system with a better one, but
until that time comes, crowd funding seems to be a viable solution.

3.15 Compare
Read the sentences from concluding paragraphs. Work with a partner. Check (/ ) the
statement that is better at reminding readers about the problem and solution. Think
about the strategies described above.
Finding the right health information online is important, and consumers really do need
F

F
r
1
to learn how to do this to save themselves anxiety.
Unless consumers learn to evaluate health information and its sources online properly,
L L h b B b a

2
they risk worry and anxiety for themselves and trouble for their doctors. It is necessary
to learn this internet skill because deceptive websites will always be out there.

3.16 Apply It to Your Writing


&
k

Think about the writing prompt you chose in Section 1. Write three
recommendations that you might include in your conclusion. Compare with a partner.
Which one is the best ending for your paper ? Why do you think so ?
b i i a . .
a a i, i j m L i ..i a a a i b i J B f a b i J d f a b i J i J

F F F F T1 F F F F F M l P F 'M I P F l l F *

b I a b b i . L b J m J m b I b b I

F F ! ! ! «

n F F F F F

tm m

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 163


4 SHARPEN YOUR SKILLS

In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

Q Writing Skill 1: Introduction to Summarizing


Summarizing means condensing a text or passage into the most important ideas, usually the
thesis and the main points. In academic writing you will often use the skill of summary to
describe a complicated event or a research study in a concise way that omits the details.
Here are strategies that you can use to summarize a text:
1 Read the text or passage a few times and identify the thesis or the main idea.
2 Find the main supporting points. These could be the main events, causes and effects, steps,
results, or other key points. Make note of any important details and examples that will help
you explain each point. Only include the most important details and examples.
3 Restate the ideas using synonyms and different sentence structures to avoid plagiarism.
4 Relate the summary to the point that you are making. In other words, be clear on how it
supports the point.
5 In your essay, include the author's name and title of the source. State the source in your
Works Cited according to the citation style.
Below is a summary of the first two paragraphs of "The Psychology Behind Cyberchondria" on
page 148.

Britt Peterson, in her article iThe Psychology Behind Cyberchondria ” discusses cyberchondria
(

and what makes people believe that they have every disease that they read about on the Internet.
One reason for this phenomenon is how people respond to a list of symptoms. If a few items in a
row match their symptoms, cyberchondr iacs believe that they must have the rest. Therefore, they
have the disease.

4.1 Practice Summarizing


Look at the notes below. Then read the two summaries of the article. Answer the
questions. Compare your ideas with a partner.

Article notes:
Health Times. May 4, 2013
Dr. Sanjay Shah
- Misleading websites and how to find the truth

- Advertisements look like factual, neutral content


- Look in ‘ About," 'Terms and Conditions," and ' Policies,"
'

164 UNIT 5
A
A recent article in Health Times discusses the problems that health consumers can run into
when searching for information online about illnesses. The article describes a rise in lobbying
groups for pharmaceutical companies hosting websites that seem like they offer unbiased
information on certain illnesses but really are designed to support and promote drugs made
by client companies. The article includes screenshots from the website, but a pharmaceutical
company representative says his company does not do this on its website. The article ends with
information about how to decide which websites to trust.

B
In a May 4, 2013, article in Health Times, health expert Dr. Sanjay Shah explains how health
consumers can become more careful about the websites they use to learn about illnesses and
medications. He described the problem with a case study, explaining how one healthcare
lobbying group was hosting a website to promote a new drug for dementia. Shah emphasized
that the problem is not that the medication is dangerous, but that the website is misleading
because it claims this drug is the market leader and best choice. Shah explained how to search
a website both in its "About" section as well as in its policies and terms and conditions to
understand who is presenting the information. In this way, Shah's article highlights the problem
health consumers face when searching online for information.
1 Does each summary:
• give the author's full name and explain who he or she is?
• say where and when the text was published?
• include the important details from the article?
• not include unimportant details?
2 Which summary is better?

O Writing Skill 2: Acknowledging and Refuting Opposing


Solutions
An important part of writing problem-solution essays is acknowledging and refuting an
opposing solution. Using this approach convinces your reader that you understand both
solutions but that your solution is better than the alternative solution.
Here are strategies you can use to acknowledge and refute a solution:
• Acknowledge what someone says without saying it is correct or true.
Dr. Marcus Salam argues that cyberbullying can be solved with some of the same solutions as
real-world bullying.

• Concede a point, then refute it.


That may be true, but that problem comes from the anonymous nature of online
communication.

• Acknowledge what someone says, then counter it with your own idea.
While Dr. Salam claims that parental and school supervision is the best solution, this does not
prevent teenagers from continuing their online bullying and hiding it from parents.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 165


* Use words that show contrast like these:
Even though some parents claim they cannot regulate their children so closely, Dr. Salam says
they should try.
Although schools want to help, some state laws prevent them from doing so.
Despite clear evidence about the damage of cyberbullying, not everyone believes this is a
problem.
Some people claim that real-world bullying has more consequences than cyberbullying;
nevertheless, research shows that is not true.

sF 4.2 Practice Acknowledging


Complete the sentences with your own ideas. Each sentence should refute an alternative
solution for a problem- solution essay.
l Although some doctors believe the only way to stop cyberchondria is to tell their patients
never to research symptoms online, 1 «
- S> cii m m m .1. mi m m

k i .i a .
k i J a .
k J J a a . i. i s .. i J a k a a
-. & i i B .
L i J a B k J.a a B k i

2 It may be true that some caregivers prefer face-to-face support groups; nevertheless, J k I .1 LI i a i .

n .
i II i n I I i i i : i i k a 9 a B U I '
I

3 It is true that cyberbullying can be stopped by having parents prevent their children from
bullying, but " rit t a

a .i. m m m k a . a k i
- a

4 While some people argue that doctors save time by connecting to patients on social media,
H H I I i » 11 1 a i a m

4.3 Apply It to Your Writing


Read the ideas from the Your Turn for Body Paragraph 3 on page 161. Write
three sentences explaining why some of those solutions will not work well. Use the
examples above to help you. These sentences might become part of your essay.
a a k k .i a a k i. a a a ara a a k k .
a a ii a .a
i a a k .a a a a a a a a a a .a a a a a a a a a aa a.
- a kJ a a a .a a a a a a. a a a a a. a a a a a a a a .
i a a a a i a a a i a a a i a a a i. i a a a i a a a i:

t r i

a a a a a i a a B a i a a a a i a a a i, l a a a a i a a a a i a a a a i a a a a i a a a a i a a a a l a a a a i a a a a i a a a i a a a i a a a a.

PTM r i p

a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a

a n a J B I a a a i a i a a a i J a i a a a i a i a i a i i i a i a i a i a i i a l a i i i i a i i i i a i i i i a a i i a a a i i a a a i i a a i i i a a i i E i a a i i L i a a i i i H i i i I I i [ i i ti r i a i i

p P p p a a a i a .
ii i a i a ii

166 UNITS
0 Grammar for Writing: It Constructions
In academic essays, writers often express their personal viewpoint in a more objective-sounding
way by using sentence structures with it These structures include the following:

IT CONSTRUCTIONS
l The following constructions are It is unfortunate that many medical websites provide
often used in academic writing: inaccurate information.
a lt + be + adjective + that clause It is now very common to visit medical websites
b It + be + adjective + infinitive instead of doctor 's offices.
c It + be + adjective + for + subject It is better for most people to avoid researching their
+ infinitive illnesses on the Internet.
d It appears / seems + that clause It seems that more people are using the Internet for
health resources every year.
2 The following modals are common For particularly anxious patients, it might be better
in it construction: to avoid medical websites altogether.
may be, might be, or could be It may be that disclaimers would help people know
when they are on a medical website not written by
doctors.
3 Another common structure is it It might be better for parents to monitor their
may / might / could be + adjective + children's online behavior.
for + subject + infinitive. It could be effective for doctors to suggest reliable
websites for patients to go to for medical information.

*
j 4.4 Write Objectively
Rewrite the sentences with It clauses and the words in parentheses to sound more
objective. You may need to change some words in the sentence.
1 I think that many people rely too heavily on Internet research instead of going to the doctor ,

(unfortunate) \t is unfortunate That many people rely too heavily on Internet research rrMi rrmf

instead of going to the doctor,


2 I think that bullies need treatment rather than punishment, (better)
It might be better for bullies to get treatment rather than punishment = .
4.1 I L B I I
- I lika I k k U JI:

3 I believe doctors should not use social media to reach out to patients, (inappropriate)
j a i .
l I J H I 4 H H 4 11 I I fa I; J 4 HI |
[ HI .
J fa H I 4 H I 4 H H I 4 H

4 i am pretty sure that too much time on the Internet can cause health problems like
headaches and eye strain, (appear)
.1 4 .
i 4 .i a i. i i 4 h J, J 4 a 4 fa I I J 4 4 I 4 4 fa I 4 4 fa I I 4 H 4 4 fa I 4 4 k I 4 4 H k I 4

5 I know that many people regularly look up medical information online before they go to the
doctor, (likely)

6 I think people who are addicted to the Internet need psychological treatment, (seems)
il H 4 .a 4 H I I I I

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 167


Avoiding Common Mistakes (•)
Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using it
constructions in academic writing.

1 Make sure important is spelled correctly.


important
It seems import to take responsibility for our own health.
2 Remember to include to in infinitives.
to
It is impossible account for every possibility when a person tries to self- diagnose.
A

3 Don't forget to include It before the verb be at the start of a sentence.


It is
h difficult for a doctor to argue with a patient who has done a great deal of research online.

&
4.5 Editing Task
Find and correct six more mistakes in the following paragraph.
important
The high number of unreliable health websites is a significant problem, and it is import to use
A

only reliable websites when searching the Internet for health-related information. This simple
solution will solve this problem for many people. One thing consumers can do is find out who
owns or manages a health website, because this information can help users decide if a site is
reliable. For example, is possible to provide marketing information on a drug company's website
that seems like it is posted by doctors and designed for education, when, in fact, the site was
created only to make money for the company. Some people think it is impossible find out who is
behind a website and determine its reliability, but it is actually very easy. At the bottom of most
sites, users will see a Terms of Use link or a privacy policy. These legal statements usually list a
contact person or parent company. It is also import to read any "About" sections that describe
the company, website, or its goals. This information can help users decide if the source of the
information is reliable. The most useful websites for health information are considered reliable
because they are posted by medical organizations and written by those with medical knowledge.
It is impossible find out everything about a website or its content, but smart health consumers
need to understand what they are reading and why it was published. Is one key way to solve the
growing problem of users finding and relying on inaccurate health information online. Therefore,
is necessary to educate consumers of online health information to use the steps outlined here to
research not just health questions but who is providing the answers and why.

168 UNITS
© Avoiding Plagiarism
Time management is a common problem for students. Those who don't plan
well may plagiarize when they copy at the last minute.

I need help. Every time I have a paper due, I wait until the last
minute and I'm usually disappointed by my grades. I know I
should start earlier, but I feel so overwhelmed and nervous that
I keep putting it off. What can 1 do? - Beza

Dear Beza,
This often happens with students. The first step is to manage your time. Plan each step of
a project and give yourself a deadline. That will help you get organized. In addition, when
you feel nervous or overwhelmed, ask for help. Teachers and librarians are there to help
you. They want you to succeed.
Best regards,
Professor Wright

STRATEGIES FOR TIME MANAGEMENT


Sometimes procrastination can lead to plagiarism. Students who run out of time may be
tempted to copy because it takes time to understand difficult sources. It also takes time to
think about how to present others' ideas. Finally, when students wait until the last minute,
they often make errors in their citations or confuse their sources. Here are some time
management strategies.
Strategy 1: Get started efficiently
Getting started is often the hardest part of writing an essay. An essay is a major project and
it can sometimes feel overwhelming. Sometimes the best way to get started is to divide the
project into a list of smaller tasks.
1 Make a list of all the tasks you need to complete to write the essay.
2 Decide how long you need to spend on each task. For example: brainstorm topic - 1 /2 hour,
Internet research - 3 hours.
3 Look at the due date and decide when you need to start.
4 Get started!
Strategy 2: Avoid procrastination
It is easy to procrastinate - to put off doing the things you need to do to complete your essay.
If you leave all of your tasks from Strategy 1 until the last minute, you may not have enough
time. It is better to plan in advance and do a little bit every day.
1 Look at your list of tasks and decide what needs to be done first.
2 Write down a start and finish date (or time) for each task.
3 Cross off each task when you complete it to see your progress.
4 Leave time at the end to review and revise your essay.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 169


Strategy 3: Get support
If you try Strategies 1 and 2 but you are still having trouble managing your time, talk to an
instructor, friend, or classmate about it. They can encourage you and remind you to stay on
schedule. It is also possible that you are having trouble with your schedule because you need
help understanding how to do one of the tasks on your list. Your teacher and others can help
you with this - just ask them!

4.6 Practice
Think about the next essay you have to write for school, or another important
assignment or task. Which time management strategies would be useful for you? Work
with a partner and discuss your next time management strategy.
5 WRITE YOUR ESSAY

In this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

STEP 1: BRAINSTORM
Work with a partner. Follow the steps below to brainstorm more ideas.
i Before you start, notice how the writer of the Student Model brainstormed. She wrote many
ideas, and then circled one solution that she thought was the best, as well as one solution
that she thought didn't work as well.

V WRITING PROMPT: Some families find themselves in a situation where a family member has a
disease for which treatment is very expensive. Often these families find themselves in debt from
the medical bills. What are some solutions that would help families pay the costs?

Problem: Possible solution 1: Why/ how the solution works:


because health raise money online . - avoid costs of modern
care is expensive, medicine
some families are - herbal supplements
going into debt - meditation, yoga,
acupuncture

Possible solution 2: Why/ how the solution works:


use cheaper, nontraditional - avoid costs of modern
treatment options medicine
- herbal supplements
- meditation, yoga,
acupuncture

Possible solution 3: Why/ how the solution works:


organize a fund- raising event - sell tickets to fund -raising
events
- benefit dinners and concerts
- charities donate money to
families

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 171


2 Write the ideas that you wrote in Section 1, page 145, in the chart below, include ideas from
the Your Turns throughout the unit. Brainstorm more ideas.

Problem: Possible solution 1: Why/ how the solution works:


B i i i i 'i F I i a n i a u i a i U B L I I I I J L I I III I I 1 1 1 I I I ! m la I J II I I I J I l i I I I 1I L B i l f l I I J I 1II a iii i n i n ia J i

4 fc fab 4 .
ft

. fi 4. .- + j
- H+ J
-- t +J + --- - I M 4 f i k L 4 . .. . .. k l J ft k J 4 . .. ..
4 f i ft 4 .- B m fi .f i m m m m m I m m fi
t i fi 5 4 . --
I!lII F I i l IIIII I IIII: Biiia FI B B B II IIIB B B I I I I B I I I I B I I I I B r I I B B I I I B I I

rin ii 1'i r ri a i i a P H II p r a n r r i a e a i ir r i l I I
1
a r r n II i B r i r i i a i I I I I I I i I B a i i a i i i i

. .
k In 4 .
ft I 4 .
ft J 4 .
ft 4 4 4 .
f i ft 4 4 L 4 L f i ft 4. f i ft 4. . ..
ft 1 4 m .1. 4 . a. 4
ft . ..
ft ft 1 4 .
ft L 4 4

.
I k J B f i 4 4 .
4 B fc 4 4 4 4 4 ..
f i I II 4 3 k I J 4 .. 4 B ! fc 4 4 B l n l I 4 . . . . . .
f i f c I 4 4 f i f i I 4 4 f i f i k 4 4> S S I 4 4 4 B ... .
fi fi 4.4 fi .
fi 1.4 4 4 B B 4 . 4 4 3 B 4 i l 4 4 k L 4 4 4 i i .
B
* r i ii P P i i P r t a B r r a u r r r a B r r a a r r a a r r i a a r i

I 4 | 4 4
afc : . f c k . .
fi 4 4 f i f c l 4 4 f c f c l 4 4 f c k 4 4 B k l I 4 f i b l 4 4 . . . .
f c l J 4 .
f i f c l 4 4 .
f c f c l 4 4 k k I 4 4 fi f i I 4
- f i k 4 4 f i fi I 4 4 . f i .
fi I 4 4 f i fi 4

Possible solution 2:
4 4 k I:

Why/ how the solution works:


r a a r r a a r = a r r a a r a a a r i a a r r a a a r a a r a r r i a a r -a
a a r r a a r r

H I i

fi i k k 4 4 Bfifitl 4 J fi Ii I 4 J fi fi I I I B k I I I B B I I I 4 B I I I fl B I I I

*- + a a a r + -
i a
- r + i a a i
- -+ §

4 4 4

11 m a r i B B I a B B n FI n I I I I P I I I B r I I I B I I I I B I I I I B I 11 I El B I I

i 4 a r T 4 r r a r r a B B r a B B B a n B n I I a B II a i 4 r n r l a n i i i i a i i i i a r i i i i a i i i 'i a

4 .
i a fi fi 4 . f i 4 . 4 4 M M fi 4 4 H M f i l 4 . f i f i 4 4 . 4 M M 4 4 . - M

I fi .
fi 4 fi fi .
l 4 fi . I ft fi k ft .
ft > .
ft 4: .
ft fi ..
ft ft fi k .
ft fi fi 4 fi 1 4 4 fi

a a r a a r a r r r a a p r r a a r r a a r r a B r r r a B r r a B r r a r i

Possible solution 3: Why/ how the solution works:


4 4 B B J . .
4 4 B B I 4 4 B I I 4 4 B I I . . .
I k 4 B k I

a p r r a r r a a a r r a, a s r r a a a r
1
a
- r r a r r a p r r a a r r a a a 1
r a a a 1 p a a P p

r a a a

4 a B 4 a n k i a a k i i a a i l l a a 4 a a B i I 4 B B I 4 J B B ..
I I B n B k k I I I B k I II 4 B .. B B k l B B B k l B B k B I 4 B B B I

a .
j 4 B B I I 4 B B B I J 4 B fc I J 4 B B I .1 4 B B I I I f f l B I I H U 1

+ -
a

M fi b ¥ a a fi ! - H i t a
—-* ¥

i a a B I

I I

M 4 4 M M fi 4 4 M M fc f t, 4 M fi fi 4 4 . -f .
§ 4 fi k 4 4 M fc k 4 4 . . fi I 4 4 M . .
h fc 4 4 f i fc 4 4 4 f i fc k 4 . . fi fc .«. 4
- S .f c 4 4
- fi

When you are finished, choose two solutions (one you think is best, and one to refute) and
write them here.
The best solution: ... - -
a r r i l a a r P P

A solution that doesn't work as well: i 4 4 a & 1 4 4 k 4 a fc i 4 ft k I . I B fc I . k

f\

172 UNITS
STEP 2: DO RESEARCH: FINDING UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION
When doing research, using current information, from sources published in a time frame
relevant to your topic, adds credibility to your writing. In the academic world, information is
constantly changing or being updated. If your information is too old, more recent information
may be available that changes or even contradicts the older information, thus weakening your
position. When choosing sources, searching for timely, or up-to-date, sources and verifying the
dates in those sources are important steps.

Jean-Bosco needed current information for this prompt: Caregivers of seriously ill family
members may require support to deal with their own emotions and challenges. What type
of assistance offers them the best emotional support? Read and find out how he did it.

When entering my keywords into a search engine, I added a relevant date


range (2008-2015) after my keywords to keep the results current. When
skimming the sources, ) located the publication date or copyright date to
verify that the information was timely. Sometimes the date was at the bottom
of the page, in the margins, at the top of the article, or in the text of the
article, so I had to look carefully for it. Finally, i noted which articles with up-
to-date information I would read closely to use for my essay.

Jean-Bosco Results
^
Thesis: Caregivers have many support options in the United States, but one of the most
cost -effective and comprehensive support systems for caregivers can be found through
In ternet-based support groups .
Keywords and date range : effectiveness of online support groups caregivers 200& 2015 -

Source Source date Read closely?


(Web address and / or title) (Where found) (Y/N: Reason)
www.alz.org, Resource 2014 (copyright, at Y: many locations & resources
Directory bottom of web page) for Alzheimer’s &. dementia
caregivers; will research 1-2

wwwlifelinesys.com, 2014 (top of article; Y: current support information



Dealing with Anxiety When link to archive of blogs on a variety of caregiver topics
Caregiving” dated 2013-2014)
“Dementia Caregivers' 2011 (top of first Y: primary research about
Responses to 2 Internet- page of article) caregivers by university
Based Intervention researchers in Canada;
Programs’ by Marzialt & published in a peer -reviewed
Garcia journal

& 5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


Follow the steps Jean-Bosco took to find current information for your essay.
Complete a chart like the one above for your main sources.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 173


STEP 3: MAKE AN OUTUNE
Complete the outline below with your ideas from the previous steps.

ESSAY OUTLINE

I, Introduction

Thesis
Statement
Body
Paragraph 1:
Describe the
.1.*

Problem
Supporting A >
Idea 1

Detaii 1* k U k J4 m m m m 4 a .
4 4+

Detail jjEfl. .
f : : mmm m m A 1

Supporting
Idea 2
EL k m m m 4

Detail 1* ill 4 k Uk44 m m m 4 a 4> 4+

Detail jjEfl. .
f : : mmm m m A 1

Body
Paragraph 2:
The Best -
.11A

Solution
Suppo rting
Idea 1
A.
Detail 1 : : kli4 .
i fa 4n 1

Detail k 4 k b*44 k k 4 a 4>


**

Suppo rting
Idea 2
EL 4+r
-

Detail 1 : : mmm : fa 4n 1

Detail t. kk4 k b*44 i k k 4 a 4>


**

//
174 UNITS "
i
^w
I
Body Paragraph 3:
A Solution
that Won' t Work
IV, r pp Ip i PP
- M p " * '!1P
""1!
“ ? ? !P "
"piP -- - -
11P
" !P p "P f P * " P1 P --- 1r
-

as Well
Supporting
idea 1
A. 1! p
- itPPHir "
P 1P I PI P P1P P P
"1 P P - * --
11 1p p " *i p p
""iP - - - - - - --- - - -
1p 1P 1p 1P * -,
I
Ip
" ""!P
1

--- 1p P I1 1 p
--- --
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--
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- -
,,
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II nr
-
1i i P B I I I
[
r

i rr - 1 PP Is P *I I
PP« s PPII P P

Detail 1 . i i P P I I R P"i
^ 11 ! P "i r F P 1 - f "i i
-
rs p p i rai p * ir r p ip p
" - - "i r r ^ir r - -- --
iP P Ir m m m n p p o n p F S 11 r
- - - ~ - -- --
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-nP -- 11p f i i r *"i im i l P -

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Recommendation

STEP 4: WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT

Now it is time to write your first draft. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.
1 Use your outline, notes, and the sentences you wrote in the Your Turns and in Step 3.
2 Focus on making your ideas as clear as possible.
3 Remember to add a title.

After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors.
1 Check that all sentences are complete sentences.
2 Go through and look at every comma. Is it correct? Should it be a period ?
3 Check that you have cited quotes and paraphrases.
4 Make sure your thesis statement and topic sentences are clear.

PROBLEM-SOLUTION ESSAYS 175


STEP 5: WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT
l After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.
2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Academic Collocations from this unit. Are there any
that you can add to your essay ?
4 Turn to page 274 and use the Self -Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.

176 UNITS
rifttHRi

People today are in


danger of drowning

o o c . in information; but,
because they have
been taught that
O
information is useful,
O o> they are more willing
to drown than they
need be.
Indries Shah
aI (1924-1996)
'" •
rn
Work with a partner. Read the quotation about information overload. % I . J
Then answer the questions.
1 What does the author mean by saying that we are "'drowning in jI
information"? Can you think of any examples of "drowning in information"
from your own life?
2 How does social media increase the amount of information available
to you?
3 Note that Indries Shah died in 1996. What were the causes of "information overload" in his lifetime ?
Explain.
177
O Connect to Academic Writing
In this unit you will learn skills to help you summarize and respond to texts written by others.
While some of the writing skills that you will use may be new to you, others are not. In your
everyday life, you use the skills of summarizing and responding to explain and share your
opinion of a movie or a new policy at your school or workplace.

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will read an article and then summarize and respond to its ideas. You will
develop your response throughout the unit and practice skills that are necessary to write
your essay.
The article mentioned below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 184-185.
The student read the source article and used the chart to reflect on the author's ideas about
curation. This helped him understand the main idea.

V
Source: “Stop Knocking Curation ” by Steven Rosenbaum
The author's ideas: My reaction to them:
1 , True content curation filters and I think this is the author's opinion, not
contextualizes massive amounts of a fact. People might have different
information in order to make it more definitions of what “true" curation is and
meaningful accessible, and useful for is not.
readers.
2 , Wine stores are not real curators What about stores that organize the
because they don’t offer creative ways to wines by themes, such as ones that go well
help people understand wines. with chocoiate, etc.? Isn't that curating?
3, The constant overflow of unfiltered I completely agree. People simply do not
content would overwhelm us if there was no have the time to sort through ail the data
one to organize and watch over it . available on the Internet by themselves.

4, Every day, 50 million photos are Didn’t know it was so many. Surprising!
uploaded to Facebook.

& 1.1 Notice


Take turns with a partner. Give your personal response to two of the ideas from the
source article that the student noted above.
1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on the ideas for your essay.
A Read the article "Face Time vs. Screen Time: The Technological Impact on Communication"
on pages 211-212 (or another article approved by your instructor). As you read, highlight
and react to interesting and important points in the article. Some things to look for are:
• the main idea or thesis of the text
• important supporting points and evidence
• ideas that you agree or disagree with
• points that you feel are strong or weak
B Write a possible thesis statement for your response to the article. This should be your own
"big idea" in response to the ideas in the article.

Source:
The author's ideas: My reaction to them:

Possible thesis statement:


.
I J b b wi
-- .
b4 m m b b .. I •
-- * a m mm
-- --
b
_ b I m
In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your summary-response
essay. You will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of summary
and response.

O Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. Many are from the Academic Word List. Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

attribute (v) deviate (v) establish (v) inevitably (adv)


constant (adj) dismiss (v) exceed (v) minimize (v)

2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Match the words to their meanings. Write the letters.
A
1 Some researchers attribute an inability to focus nearly continuous or very
on work to the rise of social media such as frequent
Facebook.
2 The constant use of social media all day b to say that something is the
long among young people in our society result of something else
may contribute to a decrease in face-to-face
encounters.
3 Among young people in developed countries c to decide that something is
today, those who do not use social media sites not worth considering
are deviating from what is now the common
way of living.
4 The negative effect of social media on our ability d to change from the usual
to focus on work is significant and should not be way
dismissed.

B
i Parents should establish time limits for use of a to reduce something to the
social media with their teenagers. smallest possible level or amount
2 The amount of time spent looking at social media b in a way that is certain to
should not exceed the time spent on homework. happen
3 If all of your friends are on Facebook, you will c to set something
inevitably want to check it regularly to see what
they are doing.
4 In order to minimize the distraction of social d to be greater than; to go
media so that it doesn't interfere with homework, beyond a limit
time limits must be set.
O Academic Phrases ©
Research tells us that the phrases in bold below are commonly used in academic writing.

2.2 Focus on Meaning and Purpose

Read the summary paragraph. Decide the meaning or purpose of the phrases in bold and
circle the correct answer.

John Danahy's article "'The Origins of the Internet" aims to show the importance that the
idea of partnership can have in innovation. The article is rather technical and is most relevant
to computer science students, but at the same time it also appeals to general-interest readers
as a tribute to two individuals: engineers Vint Cerf and Bob Kahn, known as the "Fathers of the
Internet." Danahy uses their story to support his thesis. First, he details their work in the early 1970s
for the U.S. Defense Department. He then recounts their invention of the Transmission Control
Protocol (TCP), which enabled military data to be moved around. He explains that part of the
reason that this was so important was that it was necessary for the creation of the modern internet
used worldwide today. Finally, he emphasizes how closely they continued to work in later years
to manage this new creation by forming the Internet Society in 1992. He explains the aims and
purpose of this non-profit group, which addresses internet-related standards, education, and policy.
1 The phrase the idea of
a introduces a concept. b gives the thesis of an essay.
2 The writer uses the phrase at the same time
a to show that two things are happening b to introduce a different idea or point
at once. of view.
3 The writer uses part of the reason to mean that
a this was a less important reason for b this was one reason for the importance
something. of something.
0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "Overcoming information Overload" uses features of summary and response to
make her claims valid and engage her readers.
Before you read, answer these questions: What do you think "information overload" refers to?
What are some of the effects of having access to too much information?
Now read the article. Think about your answers to the questions above as you read.

l As a writer tor the web, I’m well acquainted


with information overload. One bit of
information leads to five tacts, which leads
to three articles, which leads to an interesting
interview that you j ust must listen to right
now, which leads to 10 pages in your
browser. But, wait, there’s still one more
thing to look up, to learn, and to digest.
Information is merely a click away. And
depending on what you want to find out,
there are likely to be at least a dozen , if not
hundreds, of blogs on the topic, a similar
number of books, and many more articles. 4 Palladino attributes indecisiveness,
bad decisions, and stress to information
2 This is a good thing, but at the same time it overload. Palladino says that when you’re
can also overburden our brains. Too much “overwhelmed by too many choices, your
information has been shown to exceed our brain mildly freezes and ... you passively
brain’s capacity to deal with it. wait and see.” In other words, you become
3 According to Lucy Jo Palladino, PhD, a paralyzed. ' Alternatively, Palladino reports,
psychologist and author of Find Your Focus you may make a hasty * decision because
"

Zone: An Effective New Plan to Defeat you can’t tell the difference between vital
Distraction and Overload , “ [ information facts and trivial5 ones, and you consider
overload occurs when a person is exposed credible5 and non -credible sources equally.
to more information than the brain can The constant demand to make decisions
process at one time.” The term “ information and to process information, Palladino notes,
overload” was actually coined2 in 1970 by inevitably leads to stress and anxiety.
Alvin Totfler in his book Future Shock . It
became a more and more popular phrase as
people started using the web and realized
that it described how they felt about going
online.
’paralyzed: unable to move your body
’hasty: very quick
';digest: think about and understand
coin: to be the first person to invent a new word
’Credible
trivial: small and unimportant
: believable
Overcoming Information Overload The Conundrum of Control
5 In Find Your Focus Zone, Palladino suggests 6 In his column on information overload, Guardian
that readers think of incoming information reporter Oliver Burkeman also tocuses on
as bags of groceries that you bring into your finding ways to minimize the stress ot overload.
home. “ To put them away, you need time, Burkeman speculates, however, that it is not the
an amount that’s limited to what tits on the tact that there is so much information that is
counter, and an already clean fridge and stressful, but the fact that we teel like we are not
organized pantry.” These are her tips: in control .
1. Schedule breaks . Take a break away from 7 Ironically, it’s often technology that helps me feel
the computer. This gives your brain a rest in charge ot information and not controlled by
and helps you regain perspective. Plus, it. The programs that I use a lot are Freedom,
the quiet time can help you make a good which blocks the Internet, and Oram Writer,
decision. which provides a distraction-tree writing space.
This helps me to toe us on one task at a time.
2. Establish limits. Because the Internet
( Deadlines also help. ) Another strategy that I use
is available 24/ 7, you can consume
when consuming information is to know exactly
information tor hours. Limit how long
what information I need to find and how I am
you scan tor information. Filter your
sources, focusing only on the high -quality
going to tind it. Then I refuse to deviate from my
ones.
plan. If I come across anything that is interesting
but unrelated, I save it for another time.
3. Keep your virtual and physical spaces
clutter-free. Make sure your computer 8 Regardless ot how you decide to approach
information overload, don’t dismiss the
tiles and desk are “clear, well -organized,
importance of regularly disconnecting.
and ready to handle overflow.”

& 2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 What is the relationship between information overload and our brain?


2 According to this article, why might too much information cause you to make a hasty
decision?
3 The article states that information overload makes it hard to tell the difference between
credible sources versus non-credible sources. Do you agree ? Have you encountered this
problem?

2.4 Notice the Writing

Answer the questions.


1 Does Tartakovsky spend more time explaining her ideas or the ideas of others ?
2 Read paragraph 4 and notice how Tartakovsky integrates Palladino's ideas. Do all Paliadino's
ideas that Tartakovsky refers to support her own main idea?
3 Read the last two paragraphs. What is the relationship between Tartakovsky's ideas and the
authors that she mentions?
In Section 1 on page 1 78 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on his topic.
In this section you will analyze the final draft of his summary-response essay. You will learn how
to structure your ideas for your own essay.

O Student Model
A student read the article "Stop Knocking Curation" by Steven Rosenbaum and made
notes. Then he wrote a summary-response essay about the article .

Read the introduction to the topic of content curation and then read the article. Next,
read the student's essay and answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes.
This will help you notice key features of summary-response writing.

Curation is the act of finding and organizing information on a topic online, while also providing
links to the original content. Companies that benefit from using content curation include the
Huffington Post, an insightful online news aggregator and blog, and Reddit, a popular website
where contributions from its community members provide for amusing discussions and tales
from the world of entertainment, news, and social networking.
ANNOTATED REAL-WORLD ARTICLE

Stop knocking curation (adapted) Steven Rosenbaum

Curation is a growing concept as the enormous volume of mostly identical content has
Content made it nearly impossible tor mere mortals to tind useful , thoughtful , contextual content
curation is not
appreciated but on the Web. But its practice is undervalued. In just one example, a 2012 writing in The
its invaluable Atlantic called “curate” one of the “words we’d just as soon never write or see or hear
spoken again.”
I disagree. Information overload inevitably drives content consumers to look for
human-filtered, journalist-vetted , intellectually related material. This demand for AGREE - There’s
too much info
-
coherence isn’t unreasonable; its essential. And for those who think and write every day, we need help
gathering bits of ideas here and there that can be turned into a thoughtful narrative choosing
“on a topic” isn’t cheating, or being lazy. Far from it. For those who would dismiss or
minimize curating, it is in many ways harder than writing ( at least good curating is ). It’s
far easier for me to write 500 words from my head than to find themes and sources and
tie them into a broader narrative.
Now, my issue with the current state of curation is that there are many people who Not clear - What
is "misguided
wrongly attribute misguided meanings to the word. In so doing , they deviate from the meanings”?
core concepts that make curation so appealing and relevant. „
^
Curation started as a term tor a practice that was emerging over the past few years toCfrlteg)
the overabundance of data and create quality, thoughtful, human- organized collections.
Is this what The most urgent need tor curation was in Web content. This is because there is far too
Tartakovsky
meant? much data being produced by digital devices, video -enabled mobile phones, auto- tweeting
devices, and overzealous Facebook friends. Curators create entirely new editorial works by
finding, filtering, and contextualizing. Meaning is produced from within massive amounts
of data.
Curation, in its purest torm, helps to establish a solution to a problem that meets a
growing need. But then a bunch ot random marketers and sign makers got in the act.
Today, things are curated that shouldn’t be. For examplej(awine store can be known as a Interesting
example - why
‘ social wine store*)(whatever that means ) if it claims to provide “curated” craft beer and can't wine be
curated???
spirits. As if another wine shop isn’t “curated ” ( heck, they just stock whatever boxed wine
they can get their hands on ).
If the word curation is allowed to be diluted to simply mean “selected ” or “quality Now I see what he
means by " misguided
collection,” then it no longer solves the problem we need it to solve. Content needs meanings”!
curation. The constant overflow ot unfiltered content would overwhelm us if there was no
Wow ! It’s not one to objectively organize and watch over it . Wine doesn’t pose this problem . Tartakovsky would
just me - agree!
haha! Here are a few scary stats: Everyday,*5cTmillion photos)are uploaded to Facebook,
YIK.ES!
^
( 64,000 hour|
^
)ot video are uploaded to YouTube, and 94 BILLION email

why you can’t read all the mail you get anymore.
re sent. That’s

This all makes curation an important, even essential, part ot journalism. The world is full
of meaningless data. Readers are hungry tor clarity and understanding. And journalists
are trained to find meaning and assemble facts into something that can be rationally and
logically understood. They’re rewarded with enlightened (readersj)engaged audiences,
1 Analyze Writing Skills
Circle the title of the
Summary- Response Essay for “Stop Knocking Curation”
original text and Its
author's name in the
I In his article “Stop Knocking Curation,” Steven Rosenbaum argues that introductory paragraph .
content curation is misunderstood and misused , and asserts that correct Circle the information
about the article that
curation is invaluable 1 for helping us process information on the Internet. the writer includes in the
first sentence to make
Content curation is the collection and organization of information on a topic sure that the reader
or theme. One popular example is Pinterest, which allows people to share understands whose ideas
will be discussed .
and collect information on all kinds of topics. While I agree with some of
the author s points to an extent, I feel that they could have been clearer, and 2 Analyze Writing Skills
Read the thesis statement .
included the point of view of the reader who is the user of content curation .o Which two weaknesses in
2 Rosenbaum makes two points in his article. The first point is that the the author's article does
the essay focus on ?
idea of content curation is misunderstood - or misused by people to
sell things. He criticizes stores that use the term “curation.” According to
3 Analyze Writing Skills
Rosenbaum, these stores are not really curating because they are just creating How does the writer
collections of the same things. This is different from true content curation. organize his ideas in
paragraph 2? Circle your
Rosenbaum further states that content curation should be defined as creating answer.
“entirely new editorial works by finding, filtering, and contextualizing” a He presents the
ideas from the most
information. He goes on to argue that this practice is critical2 now, as there important to the least
important.
is so much content on the Internet that it is overwhelming. He includes facts
b He presents the ideas
such as “every day, 50 million photos are uploaded to Facebook, 864,000 in the same order as
they appear in the
hours of video are uploaded to YouTube, and 294 billion emails are sent.” He article.
asserts that this is too much information to process,3 and readers need help
sorting through it. Content curation provides this help. Rosenbaum ends by
saying that curation is a new critical role for journalists.
3 Rosenbaum’s article contains interesting points, but I found some of his
examples and explanations debatable.4 He claims that the term “curation” is
misused , and gives an example of a wine store that curates wine. Why cant 4 Analyze Writing Skills
a wine store curate wines? This example made me think of the museum in Read the sentence starting
with "This example made
my neighborhood. Museums have curators who put together collections of me - " What previous
i h i
4 !

paintings that are thematically related. The curators contextualize5 them by idea does "this example"
refer to?
sharing information on who the artist was, when the artist painted, and so
on. That can be done for wine collections, too. Curators could bring together

‘ invaluable: very valuable


Critical: extremely important
" process: to deal with, handle, or manage
^ debatable: not dear; possibly not true
^ contextualize: show the environment, surroundings, history, etc. that something exists in
wines related on a theme, maybe because they were all mentioned in a novel , 5 Analyze Writing Skills
In paragraph 3, the
or all taste good with chocolate. They could share information on how the
writer compares his
wines were made, or why they are relevant to the theme. I think it is possible neighborhood museum
to a wine store . What
to curate a wine store. If Rosenbaum had talked more about why the wine is the purpose of this
store was not really curated in his opinion, it would have made his point comparison ? Circle your
answer.
clearer. Reading this part of the article, I felt unconvinced that the label was a to prove that museums
and wine stores give
being used inappropriately. different information
4 However, another part of the argument is Rosenbaum’s very clear b to prove that they can
both be curators for
second point about the need for content curators, and I agree with it to an similar reasons
extent. The facts and figures about the volume of information are indeed
Analyze Writing Skills
compelling. Many people can relate to the feeling of being overwhelmed
Why does the writer
by the amount of data coming to us on social media and in our email. We mention Tartakovsky in
paragraph 4 ? Circle your
simply do not have time, or the patience, to read or look through all this answer.
data on our own. Curation might be the type of “filtering” that Margarita a to show why
Tartakovsky would
Tartakovsky mentions as a strategy for dealing with all of this information agree with Rosenbaum
in her article “Overcoming Information Overload.” However, Rosenbaum b to show why
Tartakovsky would
says that content curation is the job of journalists. I find that assertion 6 disagree with
questionable. It’s also important that readers think for themselves and make Rosenbaum

sure that the content they see isn’t just one person’s opinion . For example, I 7 Analyze Writing Skills
go on one particular website for home decorating ideas. I see lots of pictures In paragraph 4, the
writer states, " I find that
of the same styles over and over. I know that this site is just one point of assertion questionable."
view, so I go to other sites, too, for fresh ideas. I think that responsible What is the effect of
saying "questionable"
readers seek out information in addition to the information curated for them rather than "wrong"?
Circle your answer.
so that they can broaden their perspectives. In this way, content curation
a It sounds less
isn’t just a journalist ’s job - it is everyone’s j ob. emotional
5 In conclusion, Rosenbaum makes some interesting points about what b It sounds more direct

curation is and why we need it. However, there are some weaknesses in
his argument because some of his examples of “true” curation are less
convincing, and he also does not consider the reader’s responsibility. As the 8 Analyze Writing Skills
amount of information we come across will only increase in the future, I Underline the prediction
believe the process of content curation will become even more necessary. that the writer makes in
paragraph 5 .
It would be helpful to know how to do this for ourselves so that we, as
readers, can know when content curation is done right, or choose to do it for
ourselves.
'’assertion: something that is said or claimed
3.1 Check Your Understanding
Answer the questions.

1 According to the writer, which two main points does Rosenbaum make in his article ?
2 Why does the writer believe that a wine store can be curated ? Do you agree or disagree ?
3 The writer suggests that content curation is everyone's job. Do you think Rosenbaum would
be convinced by his argument? Why or why not?

&
3.2 Outline the Writer's Ideas
Complete the outline for "Summary-Response Essay for 'Stop Knocking Curation'" using
the phrases in the box.

readers need help sorting through it


curators of wine stores are like museum curators
curation is critical today
stores arecollecting - not curating
curation could be "filtering"
content curation is everyone's job

ESSAY OUTLINE

I. Introduction P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P

Source Text In his article ‘ Stop Knocking Curation,” Steven Rosenbaum argues that content curation 4lP --
Main Idea

is misunderstood and misused, and asserts that correct; curation is invaluable fonJielping

us p rocess information on the Internet. iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P iP P t P

Student's Thesis While l agree with some of his points to an extent, I feeI that they eouId ha ve been clearer, .

and included the point of view of the reader who is the user of eontent curation .1..^ P -- r p
-- r p
-- rmm 4i
Body
Paragraph 1: .Rosenbaummakes two points riiiirni im 11 rninmi im 11 mnmi IPII 11 ramriii im 11 mnmi IPSI 11 rmimi im 11 mnmi IPSI 11 mnmi im 11 rarnmi im 11 mnmi im 11 rn irn i rai 11 mnmi im 11 mnmi IPSI 11 rimriii im 11 riinriii im i B

Summary

Point 1 A, Label misunderstood and misused by stores I 1 1

Detail 1,

Detail .
2 Definition of true content curation

Point 2 3,
T* f i i r>1 1i r p i r a ni r i m m rmirniim rn i RHI i PMI MIirm M l I P m i l l l l l R I M I R M1 I R M1I E H 1 ii m i n i l 'i ii r a i r i i i m i i rr i i r n runm ur m PRIIIPMI iM I rai ir m i r r n i r m i r m i m i i m i im i i m i i r r n i r mi m i i r m ir m i P E I I I r m i P E I II PHI RAIIIPHI I I PHI rEiiiriin i m iir i n i r m IPPIII rimriai irrni r m

Detail 1, So much content on the Internet

Detail 2.*

Detail 3. New roles for journaIists I

Body
Paragraph 2: , Pisagree with authors exampies ii IB milriii IPII IIrnnmi im II P i r ai irai IIrnnmi irai II rniimi IPII IImiirni irai II mnmi irai IImnmi irai II mnmi IPII IImnmi irai II pniirni IPII IImnmi irai II mnmi irai IImnmi irai ii

Response

Point 1 At Wine store example of misuse - unconvincing 1

Detail 1, Museum curators - paintings on theme I

Detail 21

Detail 3. Author should have given more explanation


Body
Paragraph 3: IV;.Agree that curators necessary - to an extent . PHI PIIIIRN PHI PIIIIRN pn PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII PIIIIRN PII

Response

Point 1 A, Facts and figures are compelling 1

Detail .
l No time to read or look through data

Detail 2, I

Point 2 D. Curation is job of journalists - questionable 1

Detail 1, Readers must think for themselves

Detail 2, I

V. Conclusion milmi IPII IImnrin IPII IImnmi IPII IImnmi IPII II pinrrin IPII IImnmi IPII IImnmi IPII IImimn IPII IImiirni IPII IImnrin IPII II pniirni IPII IImnmi IPII IImnmi IPII IImnmi IPII IImnmi IPII II pniirni IPII II pinrrin IPII IImnmi IPII IImnmi IPII IIriinriii IPII I
^
O Summary-Response Essays
A summary-response essay gives writers the opportunity to express their understanding of
another author's ideas and evaluate them in an objective and logical way. Summary-response
essays are similar to other academic essays: there is a thesis that the writer supports and
develops. The difference is that in this type of essay, writers reflect on an author's ideas.
This type of essay has the following organization:
• An introduction, including:
- the title and author of the text you will summarize and respond to
- background information on the topic
- the author's main idea
- a thesis that gives your main response to the text
• Body paragraph 1 summary: A summary of the author's text, including:
- the author's main idea
- supporting ideas that illustrate the idea well, such as important examples, evidence, and
information from the text
- a short quotation from the text - but only if necessary
• Body paragraphs 2-4 response: Each paragraph responds to a different point in the article
that you feel strongly about. A response paragraph includes:
- a topic sentence that identifies whether you will support, criticize, or illustrate a point the
author makes
- your own critical analysis of the point using examples and supporting details
- evidence from your own observations or those of other authors
• A conclusion, including:
- a brief summary of the text's main idea
- a restatement of your thesis
- a concluding statement, such as a comment, prediction, or call to action

3.3 Notice
Look again at the summary-response for "Stop Knocking Curation" on pages 186-187
and at the information above. Circle your answers.
1 In which paragraph does the writer mention the title and author of
the source text? 1 2 3 4 5
2 In which paragraph does the writer explain the main ideas of the
source text's author? 1 2 3 4 5
3 In which two paragraphs does the writer give his own responses to
the author's ideas ? 1 2 3 4 5
4 In which paragraph does a prediction and call to action appear in
the essay? 1 2 3 4 5
INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH
The introductory paragraph presents readers with important background information about the
article. Your readers might not have read the article, so you need to give credit to the author
and provide enough context to help readers understand the topic and the author's point of
view. Include the following information:
• the author's name and the title of the source text
• the author's main idea in your own words
• background information about the audience and purpose of the text
• a thesis statement that states your response to the main idea(s) of the text
Read the introductory paragraph from the Student Model below and notice how the writer has
marked up the text to note the key features included.

credit to the author and


In his article “Stop Knocking Curation,” Steven Rosenbaum argues that o his article
content curation is misunderstood and misused , and asserts that correct
a paraphrase of the


curation is invaluable for helping us process information on the Internet. author's main idea
Content curation is the collection and organization of information on a topic
background information
or theme. One popular example is Pinterest, which allows people to share
'"
" "'
- about the article's
audience and purpose
and collect information on all kinds of topics. While I agree with some of
the author’s points to an extent, I feel that they could have been clearer, andc the writer's thesis
statement
included the point of view of the reader who is the user of content curation.

& 3.4 Practice


Use the information below to write the first sentence of an introductory paragraph. Use
the model above as an example.
Author's name: Margarita Tartakovsky
Name of article: "Overcoming Information Overload"
Main idea: Information overload can cause the brain to work too hard and make people feel
stressed, but the secret is to find ways to control it through the decisions we make.
i l l i i n

.
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I 1
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SUMMARY PARAGRAPH

A summary paragraph takes key information from a source text and condenses it in writing for
the reader. It is structured just like any paragraph in an academic essay: with a topic sentence
and supporting information. A summary paragraph includes the following:
• a restatement of the author's main idea or a general introduction of the main idea
• key supporting ideas from the text in your own words
• details from the text such as examples and short quotes that support the main idea
Because the only goal of a summary paragraph is to help readers understand the author's main
points, it should not add any personal or unnecessary information. When writing a summary:
• Do not include your own opinions about the author's ideas. Be objective. You will have an
opportunity to give your opinion in the body paragraphs that come later in the essay.
• Do not include details from the source that are irrelevant.
• Do not use emotional language. Be neutral and avoid overly strong words.

3.5 Notice
Below is the first draft of the summary paragraph written by the writer of the Student
Model essay, along with instructor comments. Match the words, phrases, or sentences
with the teacher comment that accompanies them.

(T) Rosenbaums first point is that content curation is misunderstood - or


misused by people to sell things. He hates (2) stores that use the term “curation.”
According to Rosenbaum, these stores are not really curating because they are just
creating collections of the same things. This is different from true content curation,
but I guess stores do it because they just want to make more money. (3) Rosenbaum
further states that content curation should be defined as creating “entirely new
editorial works by finding, filtering, and contextualizing” ( 4 ) information. He
goes on to argue that this practice is critical now, as there is so much content on
the Internet that it is overwhelming. He includes facts such as every day. 50 million
photos are uploaded to Facebook. 864.000 hours of video are uploaded to YouTube,
and 294 billion emails are sent. (5) He asserts that this is too much information to
process, and readers need help sorting through it. Content curation provides this
help. Rosenbaum ends by saying that curation is a new critical role for journalists.

a This word is too emotional - can you use a more neutral word?
L L J 4 I L L b This is a direct quote from the article - add quotation marks or paraphrase it.
c An important quote to include - good!
d Please begin with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph.
... e Delete this - no personal opinions in the summary paragraph.
& 3.6 Practice Summarizing
Write your own brief summary of Steven Rosenbaum's article "Stop Knocking Curation"
on pages 184-185 by following the two steps outlined below.

i Write a sentence that introduces the author's main idea following this format: " [ Author's
name] argues that ... "
P r T 1! P1’1 H P P1
-- P P !1 P P PI P P zr p s f p T P1 1 1 P f

a I n 4 il B J Li Id L

2 Find a supporting sentence from the article that supports Rosenbaum's main idea. Write it in
your own words using this format:
" In support of this idea, the author states that ..."
IIP p i i i p r in H I i i p i i *i r i i i
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( ft
3.7 Apply it to Your Writing i

Read the ideas that you wrote about your article in Section 1 on page 179 that you
thought were important. Choose two and write about them using the language that you
have just learned. Compare your sentences with a partner and decide if they have
mentioned the main ideas and key points of the source text.
i

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RESPONSE PARAGRAPHS
In body paragraphs 2-4, give your objective responses to, and critique of, the source in terms
of the quality of the writing and ideas.
Each paragraph responds to a different point in the article. The topic sentence states the point
to be discussed. It can be supported in any of the following ways:

• a reflection on what it means based on your knowledge of the world


• a personal connection to an idea through an example
• question(s) you may have
• connections between an idea and the ideas of another author
• strengths or weaknesses in the author's reasoning
Response paragraphs can focus on the author's main idea, major points, or weaknesses in ideas
or examples. Writers often choose to write a different paragraph for each idea. For example,
they may write one paragraph for a point they agree with, and another paragraph about a
point that they feel is not well supported. Alternatively, they may include several paragraphs
that show how their own experiences illustrate different ideas mentioned in the article.
Here are strategies to use in a good response paragraph, along with examples of each from the
Student Model essay.

• Include a topic sentence that identifies which idea you are responding to and states your
opinion about it.
Another part of the argument is Rosenbaum's very clear second point about the need for content
curators, and I agree with it to an extent

• State whether or not you agree with an idea in the source text, and explain why.
He claims that the term " curation" is misused and gives an example of a wine store that curates
wine. Why can' t a wine store curate wines?

• When you do agree or disagree with something, illustrate your point with an example.
This example made me think of the museum in my neighborhood. Museums have curators who
put together collections of paintings that are thematically related. The curators contextualize
them by sharing information on who the artist was, when the artist painted, and so on. That can
be done for wine collections, too.
• Evaluate how well the author explains his / her ideas. If you think an idea is faulty, you
can express that with phrases like "[author's name] does not provide enough examples
to support this idea" or "the article presents this as supporting evidence, but this is not
convincing."
Reading this part of the article, I felt unconvinced that the label was being used inappropriately.

3.8 Practice Responding


Read the notes on a source text below. Then read paragraph A and paragraph B, which
are responding to the source text. Check ( /) which paragraph uses the four strategies in
the chart below.

File Edit View Insert Tools

Author : Lincoln , Anthony


Article title: “ FYI: TMI ” from the journal First Monday
Date: March 2011
Main idea: The large amount ot information available to us in the age of technology seems
like an advantage, but it has actually caused problems.
Supporting idea 1: Useful information online can easily be “contaminated” (made dirty, or
poisoned ) with information that might not be fully accurate.
Supporting idea 2: People conduct research thinking that they understand and can handle
information overload, but they may not be able to do that.
A
It is undeniable that we are currently in an age of technology. The author believes most
people do not understand information overload or how to handle it. He gives some examples
in the article of how information overload is negative. The examples are supposed to support
his thesis. Sometimes too much information can overwhelm people. A lot of web users follow
multiple news websites and blogs, but they may not notice their differences because there are
so many choices. Other people are able to handle all the information and make wise choices
about which sites offer useful information, and which have "contaminated" information.
B
Lincoln's article is interesting, but he focuses too much on the negative side of ail the
information we have in "the age of technology." Maybe this is because others who have
written on this topic usually highlight the benefits. It is true that information which we get from
the web and social media can be less accurate than an original source due to "contamination."
However, his examples to support the second problem are not convincing. He claims that we
tend not to understand information overload, or know how to handle it. The examples he gives
for this are confusing, and I don't agree that they are applicable to everyone, such as serious
scholars or web designers.

A B
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The writer has a topic sentence that identifies which idea she is
m m

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responding to and states her opinion about it.


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idea.
.... ...

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b b b b b b b B B

The writer evaluates how well the source text explains its
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ideas.

4
a
* 3.9 Discuss
Now decide which paragraph you think does a better ]ob of using the strategies, A or B.
Discuss your answer with a partner.
CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH
The concluding paragraph restates the author's main idea and your thesis. It ends with a
few final comments that give readers something to think about after they read, such as a
predication or a call to action.
Read the concluding paragraph from the Student Model below and notice how the writer
includes these features:
RESTATEMENT OF THE AUTHOR'S MAIN IDEA
In conclusion, Rosenbaum makes some interesting points about what curation is and why we
RESTATEMENT OF THE WRITER'S THESIS
need it. However, there are some weaknesses in his argument because some of his examples of “true”
curation are less convincing, and he also does not consider the readers responsibility. As the amount
PREDICTION
of information we come across will only increase in the future, I believe the process of content curation
CALL TO ACTION
will become even more necessary. It would be helpful to know how to do this for ourselves so that
we, as readers, can know when content curation is done right, or chose to do it for ourselves.

& 3.10 Notice


Read the sentences from the concluding paragraph for a summary-response essay about
Anthony Lincoln's article "FYI: TMI." Number the sentences in the correct order from
1 to 4. Discuss your answers with a partner.
a I think that people need to be made aware of how much information they are taking in
and how they understand it.
b However, the author seems to ignore the benefits that come from being able to access
so much information.
n .j
i i .
L i J J L c Then they will be better prepared to handle it.
d All in all, Lincoln makes some interesting observations about how information overload
affects people's ability to understand and handle information.

HOW TO ANNOTATE A TEXT FOR A SUMMARY-RESPONSE ESSAY


Good writers read a text a few times and annotate (or "mark up") the text as they read. They
note their questions and annotate as they read to help them find and evaluate the ideas and
writing of an author.
STEPS FOR ANNOTATING

1 Draw a box around the name of the author and his / her credentials, if provided.
2 Double underline the thesis. Is the thesis clearly stated and is it logical based on the
evidence that the author gives? Write your opinion of the thesis in the margin. For
example:
agree disagree - not enough evidence unclear strong thesis
3 Find the main supporting ideas that the author uses to support his /her thesis and
underline them. You will use this information in your summary paragraph.
4a Notice the facts, examples, and other ideas the writer uses to make each idea clear and
convincing. Do they clearly support the thesis? Are they logical? Are they convincing ?
Circle the important ones and note in the margins your opinions of them. Say how well
the writer conveys the supporting ideas and what you think of each one. Did he or she
miss something? Note that as well. For example:
confusing don't see connection to thesis great example!
Really? Interesting !
Why does the author say this ? Not logical Yes ! Agree!
Missing: friends' influence - sometimes that's more important than family's
You will use these notes to create your response paragraph.
4b Find connections between your experiences and the ideas to help support your opinion
and write them in the margins. Also, note connections to other texts you have read that
would support your opinion.
Reminds me of high school experience Rosenbaum would agree!
4c Think about the support again. Has the author omitted, or not included, ideas that you
think are important or better support the thesis? Do you have questions about the ideas?
Note them in the margins.
Doesn 't discuss pressure among girls, only boys What about school policy on this ?

3.11 Practice
Reread "Overcoming Information Overload" on pages 182-183 and annotate the text.
Then compare your annotations with a partner. Did you and your partner have similar or
different reactions to the author's ideas? Explain.
In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

Q Writing Skill 1 : Language for Summarizing


In academic writing, writers often use the following phrases when summarizing the ideas in
other texts.

• Use according to and in the article ... X states that ... to introduce the author, the text, and
the main ideas.
According to Hoak , time and money limitations have weakened the effectiveness of TV news.
In the article " Have 24 - Hour TV News Channels Had Their Day?" the authors state that the
need to broadcast continuously causes mistakes in reporting.
• Use the expressions below to talk about additional points made in the text.
Michael Hoak also points out that channels often have to " kill time" on the air.
The author further states that the Internet and social media have replaced TV news.
Hoak goes on to say that this loss will have negative effects in the future.

4.1 Practice With the Vocabulary


Use the best choice of the two phrases in the boxes to complete these sentences.

According to Margarita Tartakovsky, In the article "Overcoming Information Overload,"

i ... Margarita Tartakovsky provides useful advice.


2 there are strategies that we can use when our brain is j a i i . .1 a i i .
i

overburdened, which she lists in the article.

As Tartakovsky points out in her article, The author states that

3 ..
I I m m m she is not sure she agrees with Oliver Burkeman's conclusion
J d B L J J B h I .
I d B I i J B B .
i d a B B d d k B J d d k i d d a b i d a L .
J i d i i

about technology's influence.


4 some software programs can help us to organize all the
information we have to make us less overwhelmed.

In the article "Overcoming Information Overload," The author further states that

5 the author, Margarita Tartakovsky, claims that the huge amount of


information we receive today has been shown to exceed our brain's capacity to deal with it.
6 P ”
*
we must not dismiss the importance of "disconnecting" as a result
of this.
4.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Write three sentences about your own source article using the expressions you
learned on page 198.
in i i n J .
i a L a L a H J 1 J J i I II J I I I n a i l i n n i a i i i i i i i i i i i i ji i i i i l a i n i a m L J L B U

+ i «

r a i l a i i i I H r i i a i i i r i i B r i I I B r i l l B r i r r i * B B I

.
m m m k i I m m m .
4 a m m k 4.

r ii i i s r r i i p p s p a r p T

O Writing Skill 2: Neutral and Unbiased Language


In many academic writing tasks you will be expected to use language that is neutral and
unbiased. Using neutral, unbiased language makes your writing as objective and impersonal as
possible. It also helps you avoid offending your readers.
One specific example of this is language that minimizes unnecessary emotion in academic
writing.
In the chart below, use the words on the right instead of the ones on the left.

INSTEAD OF THESE EMOTIONAL WORDS **• USE THESE MORE NEUTRAL WORDS #
*a

hate dislike; have an issue with


adore admire, appreciate
wrong questionable, misguided
ridiculous debatable, problematic, not convincing
crazy illogical, unsupportabie
stupid naive, ill -considered

Another example is language that avoids specifying a group of people unnecessarily. For
instance, in academic writing it is often best to use gender-neutral language.
In the chart below are some examples of gender-neutral language.

INSTEAD OF THESE SPECIFIC GENDER WORDS **4 USE THESE GENDER-NEUTRAL WORDS « « *

he, she they


his, her their, his or her
mankind humankind
men (meaning " humans " ) people
businessman businessperson
chairman chair
policeman police officer
& 4.3 Practice
Circle the words in each sentence that are biased or not neutral. Then rewrite the
sentence so that it is neutral.

i Professors at this university generally hate Wikipedia and say that students must never use it,
but I think that is a ridiculous policy.
5 9 ri i r
- ri ri p p P! P f P f

I li .
I Ill J i l l. J Is I I I I I U I I I I I I V I I K I l l l l

2 The chairman of the new company is crazy.


B

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3 Policemen in Chicago arrested a student for illegal downloading. They seem to think this will
stop illegal downloading throughout the city, which is stupid.
r p B a p i H P I B B 9 E P P B 9 E P I B 9 B r P B 9 P I I B P P I I I B P P I

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0 Writing Skill 3: Avoid Overuse of Keywords
As you saw in Unit 4, coherence in writing means that the flow of ideas from sentence to
sentence and paragraph to paragraph is logical and clear. Overusing key words can make your
writing repetitive and harder to understand.

STRATEGIES TO AVOID OVERUSING KEY WORDS

i Use this with the following nouns Some people feel that 24 - hour television news is no
to refer to ideas in previous longerneeded. This idea is the thesis of the article
sentences. by Michael Hoak .
achievement, approach, aspect, The Internet gjjgws us to share information
concept, development, experience, technology, and creativity with anyone regardless
fact, factor, feature, finding, idea, of geography. This feature has been one of the
issue, phenomenon, reason, topic primary revolutions of the information age.

2 Use synonyms of words or phrases Because the Internet is always available, experts
to refer to ideas in previous suggest establishing limits on your use. By
sentences. deliberately setting a time limit on your surfing,
you can waste less time.
Social media keeps people connected with one
another. Families and friends are linked now in a
way that they were not 30 years ago.

i Use pronouns to refer back to The Internet has changed the relationship between
nouns and noun phrases instead of national governments , it has allowed them to
repeating the same nouns. share information as never before.

4 Reduce a long noun phrase to one The U .S. Notional Security Agency's data collection
or two words when you refer to it program became controversial when more details
again. of its operations were made public. The program
seemed like an invasion of privacy to many people.
4.4 Combine Ideas
Rewrite the sentences below to avoid repeating the nouns. Use the strategies on page 201.
1 Tim Berners-Lee's creation of the World Wide Web is regarded as one of the most important
innovations of the twentieth century. Tim Berners- Lee's creation of the World Wide Web has
changed the way most people in the world get their information.
i f r p r

.
E I J B B l> il I il il B B il B il fl

2 Indries Shah felt that people today have access to too much information, and that people
today are in danger of drowning in information.
B B I il il ..
I B B B 1 El B B I il Cl B B . I I B I I I .
I I I I I B I I fl B B I I

3 There is an enormous amount of information on the web right now. The amount of time
required to read all of the information on the web exceeds the time any of us have. Also, the
supply of information exceeds the demand.
I I J i I I k

4 The invention of Transmission Control Protocol (TCP) allowed the movement of data on the
Internet The invention of Transmission Control Protocol was the result of research by Vint
Cerf and Bob Kahn.
L L 1 J. J J J b .
J J L B I J J b L I J b b L I J L L J J J b L J. J J L L J J b b J. J J L K .J .
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- k L I 4 B L .L J 1 L .
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0 Grammar for Writing: Noun Clauses


A noun clause has a subject and a verb but acts like a noun in a sentence. Noun clauses often
begin with w/i- words ( who, what, where, when, which, and how ). They can also begin with if or
whether to show an alternative (or a yes / no) choice. They are often used with these verbs: agree,
disagree, know, remember, see, understand, and wonder.
NOUN CLAUSE

How students can know which information is relioble is something that they wiii learn in this class.
NOUN CLAUSE

Our department assistant is wondering whidi website js the most trustworthy one for travel advice.
NOUN CLAUSE
Dr. Steinberg agreed that it is not dear if pa tien ts should use this websjte.
NOUN CLAUSE
Whether the news posted on his Twitter feed is trustworthy or not is the issue which is unclear.
& 4.5 Write About Ideas
Work with a group. Return to the article by Margarita Tartakovsky on pages 182-183.
Then complete the sentences below with a noun clause from the article.
1 Depending on I I I I J l l L I .i l I 1 1 1 1 L , there are likely to be at least a dozen,
if not hundreds, of blogs on the topic, ( paragraph 1)
2 The term "information overload" became a more and more popular phrase as people
started using the web and realized that it described E LB

(paragraph 3)
3 "To put them away, you need time, an amount that's limited to
, and an already clean fridge and organized pantry."
(paragraph 5)
4 Because the Internet is available 24/ 7, you can consume information for hours. Limit
H r p i i p r Ti B r . (paragraph 5, point 2)
5 Another strategy that I use when consuming information is to know exactly
1 m L A 1 and i j
* a. J J m m I .-
fi E k I I 1 i mm

(paragraph 7)
6 Regardless of r r i n E n r i n t E r r i n e r r i i E , don't dismiss the importance of
regularly connecting, (paragraph 8)

Avoiding Common Mistakes &


Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using
noun clauses in academic writing.

1 With wh- word noun clauses, use statement word order (subject + verb), not
question word order. Do not put an auxiliary or modal verb before the subject.
the source is
We want to understand why is the source less credible.
We need to be able to trust our news sources to give us correct information when do we
need it.
2 When a noun clause is the subject of a sentence, use a singular verb after it. Don't
use the plural verb form. This is true even when the verb is followed by a plural
noun.
was

is
4.6 Editing Task
Find and correct five more mistakes in the following paragraph.

Paul Baker's article brought up many ideas about social media sites that I had not considered
is
before. Whether or not a person can be addicted to these sites are something that I have
wondered myself. What does the author say about Facebook is especially relevant to me.
I often find myself checking Facebook several times per hour. The article is very persuasive
about the dangers of overusing social media. It has forced me to consider why do i need to
check Facebook so often. What have I noticed is that I often see comments and photos which
describe and show my friends doing fun things. Very often, these plans and activities look
more fun than what I am doing. This causes me to wonder if knowing about other people 's
activities makes me dissatisfied with my life. It's not actually necessary for me to know what is
everyone doing all the time. In addition, what I see on Facebook about other people 's lives give
an inaccurate picture. My friends' days are probably just as ordinary and unremarkable as my
own. Baker says, "Sometimes, it's as simple as taking a 'Facebreak.'" That's a good suggestion,
well stated. I do think I need to reduce the amount of time I spend looking at Facebook and
comparing my life to the lives of others. The article has therefore provided me with some
valuable advice.
© Avoiding Plagiarism
It is helpful to take notes when you do research, but keeping track of your
sources can be a problem.

I worked hard on the essay I wrote about Bill Gates. I read a lot
of articles and took a lot of notes. I thought my paper was
good, but my instructor said I plagiarized some information!
1 guess I mixed my notes with the word-for- word ideas from
sources. I didn't mean to plagiarize! f 'm really sorry. How can I
be better at taking notes? - Ruby
i
Dear Ruby,
Good note taking does not have to be difficult, but you do need a system to organize
your notes. Notes can come from many places, for example, your own ideas, common
knowledge, or other sources. If you organize your notes from the beginning, you'll know
which ideas are yours and which ones need to be cited. You'll also know which notes
are quotations and which ones are paraphrases. The important thing is to have a simple
system that you can use for ail your notes.
Good luck!
Professor Wright

CREATING A NOTE-TAKING SYSTEM


In order to avoid plagiarizing, you always need to quote your sources. It is important to be able
to distinguish between your sources, quoted material, and your ideas in your notes. Organizing
your notes from the beginning makes it easier to locate your sources and correctly cite them in
your writing.
Here are some suggestions for creating an effective note-taking system.
1 Take notes in a notebook, on index cards, or in a document on the computer. Keep notes
together. Use a separate page in your notebook, a separate index card, or a new page in a
word document for each source. Write all the source information at the top: authors, titles,
dates, medium, page.
2 When you write down the exact words from a source, write the words in big quotation
marks Write the word quote after the quotation. Highlight all quotations in the same
color, for example, in blue.
3 When you paraphrase someone 's words or ideas, write the word paraphrase next to the
information you paraphrase. Highlight all paraphrases in the same color, for example, in
yellow.
& 4.7 Practice
Work with a partner. Read the original source text below. Then read the notes from
Ruby's notebook. Use the ideas in the system on page 205 to organize Ruby's notes.

Text from Original Source


Home Articles About Register Sign up

When we surveyed undergraduates last spring in a large-scale survey, 8 in 10 of our 8,353


respondents reported having overwhelming difficulty even starting research assignments
and determining the nature and scope of what was expected of them.
Nearly half of the students in our survey sample experienced nagging uncertainty about
how to conclude and assess the quality of their research efforts. They struggled with the
same frustrating open-endedness whether they were researching something for a college
course or in their personal lives.

File Edit View Insert Tools

Ruby’s Notes
Source: “College Students Eager to Learn but Need Help Negotiating Information
Overload. ” Alison J. Head and Michael B. Eisenberg. June 3 , 2011.

http://seattletimes.com/html/opinlon/2015227485 quest05head.html

. Authors did survey. 8,353 people

• 8 of 10 respondents had a hard time starting their research project.


• They had a hard time determining the nature and scope of what was expected of them.
• Half of students not sure how to finish or evaluate their research. Nagging uncertainty.
• Frustrating open-endedness. Both for classes and in private lives.
• My opinion: I agree with the survey. I am insecure about assignments too.

4.8 Practice
Work with a partner. Discuss the ways you organize notes. Do you use visual clues? Do
you use quotation marks? Discuss ways you couid organize your notes for one of your
next assignments.
In this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

ANNOTATE
Here are the steps for annotating that you read in Section 3. Using these steps as a guide,
annotate "'Face Time vs. Screen Time: The Technological Impact on Communication" on
pages 211-212,
Steps for Annotating

1 Draw a box around the name of the author and his /her credentials, if provided.
2 Double underline the thesis. Is the thesis clearly stated and is it logical based on the
evidence that the author gives? Write your opinion of the thesis in the margin. For
example:
agree disagree - not enough evidence unclear strong thesis
3 Find the main supporting ideas that the author uses to support his /her thesis and
underline them. You will use this information in your summary paragraph.
4a Notice the facts, examples, and other ideas the writer uses to make each idea clear and
convincing. Do they clearly support the thesis? Are they logical? Are they convincing?
Circle the important ones and note in the margins your opinions of them. Say how well
the writer conveys the supporting ideas and what you think of each one. Did he or she
miss something? Note that as well. For example:
confusing don't see connection to thesis great example!
Really? interesting !
Why does the author say this ? Not logical Yes! Agree!
Missing: friends' influence - sometimes that's more important than family's
You will use these notes to create your response paragraph.
4b Find connections between your experiences and the ideas to help support your opinion
and write them in the margins. Also, note connections to other texts you have read that
would support your opinion.
Reminds me of high school experience Rosenbaum would agree!
4c Think about the support again. Has the author omitted, or not included, ideas that you
think are important or better support the thesis? Do you have questions about the ideas?
Note them in the margins.
Doesn 't discuss pressure among girls, only boys What about school policy on this ?
DO RESEARCH: TAKING CLEAR NOTES TO AVOID CITATION MISTAKES
Taking organized notes on your reading helps you in many ways. First, identifying the relevant
ideas of the reading can help you organize your ideas for your essay. Second, writing down
exact quotes you might use helps you remember which quotes to include in your essay. Third,
by recording the citation information - such as the article title, author's name, source title,
web address, and the article 's publication date - you have ail the information you will need to
cite and reference the article in your essay.
Abubaker needed to take notes on an article he was reading for this writing prompt: Write a
summary and response to an article that discusses the benefits and / or dangers
of the 24 - hour news cycle. Read and find out how he did it.

In my notebook, I wrote down all of the citation information


about the article: title, author, source, web address,
publication date, and the date I looked up the website.
While reading, I paraphrased the relevant information from
the article that I wanted to use in my summary-response.
I also made sure to write down which paragraph and page
the information was in so that I could find it again later
when I needed to cite it and create my references.

Abubaker s Results

Citation Information
Title: “Has 24-Hour News Killed Print Media?”
Author: Wyn Orant
Source: University of Warwick Knowledge Centre
Web: http:// www2.warwick .ac.uk /knowiedge
Publication date: June 2012
Pate I looked it up/ retrieved it : April 14
Notes and Paraphrases Paragraph/ Page
- ‘print journalism . . , is underthreatfrom a variety of economic paragraph 1
and cultural forces” (quote)
- Because the network has to use all the time, they will report on

paragraphs 2-3
nonsense issues or constantly report on one major issue.

- 24-hour news challenges democracy: leaders are forced to give a paragraphs 0-7
fast solution to complicated problems and issues.

5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


Follow the steps Abubaker took to take notes for your summary- response essay.
Complete a chart like the one above.
MAKE AN OUTLINE
Complete the outline below with your ideas from the previous steps. Include ideas that you
wrote in the Your Turns throughout the unit.

ESSAY OUTLINE

.f Introduction

Source Text
Main Idea

Thesis
Statement

Body
Paragraph 1.
Summary

Point A ..A i i I U I ii Ji i ii ii H I ii i iiI B I III I IIII I I iII f l I III I IIII I III l i l i i i

Detail 1 II II

Detail 2 I l l l lII U I IIIIIJ mu mu BII iM U I L B I I I B I I BIB i mi In u IIBII L m IJ i l I I B i l l L II I I U I I I I J

Point 2 3 B B f l III I J IIB I I II B B III L f l l l I IIJI .


B U I IIB i l l IIB I I II B J IIl l l lIIB i l l II B IIII B J II I B II I B I I I I I B i l III B I II B U I I B I II

Detail 1 II II

Detail 2 I IBI IIIB J I UBBJ mu BflII UBB II B JIIBfl I II B I I BBB BIB II BBB In B B U I I L B I L Bfl BBB .
LA I I IBBB BBJ IBill I IBJ

Body
Paragraph 2. fl

Response

Point A ..A B B B II B U II B B B II B B B B B B III B 11 I I B B 1 . .


B f l II I B i l L I I I n B U i l II B J III B J IIIB i l l II B I III B J III B M I B B I IIL B J III B I III B J I L B J II B J I I I B f l II I B B BflilllBBJII

Detail 1
-
Bii IIBil IIIBJ I UBBJ BIB BIB BBB IBBIIIBFLIINAIL BIB B i l lI BBB LBB B I I LB I IBB BIB BIB I IBIB B il IIBBILIB

Detail 2. f. II JI

Point 2 3 ..Is. II I n B J J I l a B i l J II B J IIIB i i III B I III B I II L B J J I k B J J I I I B i l II L B J III B I IIL B J II

Detail 1
-
Ill IBfl IIII B J I I I I I J BIB BIB BBB IBB IIl l ll I UBBJ BIB BBB II BBI L B B B IIB B I BBB BIB BIB I I BIB BB il I IBJ I LIB

Detail 2. f. II J I
Body
Paragraph 3: IV,. I l l I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

Response

Point A, im i m i im ii m iim i n i l r i mi r a i l mi i r e a l manr ii i r r i i n r t ni r r a i i runirrasi rr im r mi PR iire irea I Ir i i n r i i iIPII i i r n i m i i ren r n ii P a a eaa RREI rrm i r m

Detail i^
e f l 9I B II I m i l i f B1 r miP P a r m i rra r m ir a iP H II P B II p e a m ipaa PH r mi PPH I i - r mr

Detail 2, ea r i i i r r a i i p p i i ip aairrai ii a a i p HA i r e a a reaairiali ii paa ipaa i B r ai i P P I Ii r ra


*i
p mr

Point 2 h ,r m . IPHI PHI ippaa i r r a a ir m M Urrails p a i l ppaa real raairraiirriiii rna i P P I I i m i i p r a s i Pr a irri p p a a i r r irB i mI Irianriii ma i m a i m i i rraa paa rna E a a i1 1° E A rriai i rraaa

Detail 1 . a r m

Detail 2. a i

V Conclusion

WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT

Now it is time to write your first draft. Here are some suggestions on how to get started.
1 Use your outline, notes, and the sentences you wrote in the Your Turns and in Step 3 on
page 209.
2 Focus on making your ideas as clear as possible.
3 Remember to add a title.

After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors:
1 Check that all sentences have subjects and verbs.
2 Go through and look at every comma. Is it correct? Should it be a period ?
3 Check that you have used noun clauses correctly.
4 Make sure your thesis statement and topic sentences are clear.

WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT


1 After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.
2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Phrases from this unit. Are there any that you can add
to your essay ?
4 Turn to page 275 and use the Self -Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.
WORLD NEWS
NEWS POLITICS BUSINESS MEDIA ENTERTAINMENT EDUCATION TECHNOLOGY HEALTH & LIFESTYLE

Face time vs. screen time:


The technological impact on communication (adapted )
By Chandra Johnson
Marc Brackett, director of Yale University’s Center for Emotional Intelligence, realized the
importance of having the skills to understand and manage his feelings after being bullied as a
kid. Today, Brackett uses a specially developed app and classroom curriculum to help people use
technology to better articulate, understand, and control their emotions.
That ability to understand emotions is more important than ever since the advent of the Internet,
social media, and texting. When Brackett was growing up, there was no Facebook for venting, 1
no emoji catalog to illustrate his feelings, and no online community to listen. But in an age with
more methods than ever to talk online, researchers are now studying how technology is changing
the way people communicate.
What they’re finding is that people communicate more often with family and friends because of
technology, but the quality of that communication is likely weaker. Particularly, kids who spend
more time online than with others can struggle to understand emotions, have trouble creating
strong relationships, or can become more dependent on others. “ These kids aren’t connecting
emotionally,” declares parenting expert and pediatric nurse Denise Daniels. She explains that
emails and texts make poor substitutes for the emotive5 qualities of face- to dace interaction.
Brackett sees this as a lack of balance , where there is not enough interpersonal connection. As he
says, “ Kids want to be hugged and touched; they don’t want to be texted . There’s a basic need to
fill that social bond.” So, does a friendly emoji replace a hug or even a phone call ? Probably not ,
finds psychologist Jim Taylor. Even worse, Taylor feels that all the time spent communicating
through technology is preventing kids from developing even basic communication skills.

Smile vs. :)
People who increasingly rely on technology to communicate are paying a heavy price, asserts
Dr. Kate Roberts, a Boston-based school psychologist. She sees families texting rather than
communicating face- to -face and correlates this with diminishing verbal skills and emotional
intelligence. Moreover, we are losing actual physical interaction and the benefits it provides.
Roberts mentions, “ Were down on the interaction time. Right now, at Boston College, there’s
a course on how to ask a person out on a date. Its like we’ve lost the skill of courtship5 and the
ability to make that connection.”
Technology and the ways we use it to communicate are literally changing us biologically. For
children, the overuse of technology to communicate affects neurotransmitters - chemicals in
the brain that relay information between nerves.A developing child is born with pathways that
expand based on stimulation like a parent’s voice, music, touch, and eventually play. But for
Venting: expressing thoughts and feelings forcefully, especially negative ones
- emotive: appealing to or expressing emotion

^ courtship: the activities that occur when people are developing a romantic relationship that could lead to marriage, or
the period of time when such activities occur

( CONTINUED)
children who spend too much time alone and interacting through a screen, Daniels claims that
the neural pathways of their brains change, affecting concentration, self -esteem, and their ability
to have as deeply personal relationships. As a result, Daniels has found that these children do
not develop the sympathetic and empathetic skills they need.

Emotional attachment
The disconnection or sense of feeling separate from others - that people feel is very real,
Roberts warns, because people who are not using face-to -face contact for personal issues do not
have their need for intimacy filled. She claims that using Twitter and Facebook is not necessarily
as effective in arriving at a resolution to a conflict as dealing directly with the person or people
face- to -face. Emoticons are also ineffective in expressing emotions, though they're an attempt
to signify them. Taylor adds that voice inflection, body language, facial expressions, and the
chemicals released during face-to-face interactions are all fundamental to establishing human
relationships. And they’re all missing with most forms of modern technology.

Language barrier
Taylor says that emotional problems with nonfacial online communication are made
worse in families where parents do not understand the language of digital communication.
Conversations do not result in deeper understanding or intimacy. '‘Because parents are not
speaking digital, the dinner table talk can suddenly be like someone speaking Spanish to
someone who doesn’t,” Taylor explains. Also, Dr. Roberts and Toronto - based linguist Heather
Lotherington both express concern that people prefer using technology to interact without
realizing how they are losing meaningful ties to important people in their lives , such as their
parents, children, and spouses.

Finding a balance
Experts agree that the problem is not technology itself but with the way we are using it. It
is essential for us to find a good balance that works to limit our technology use in favor of
more personal interactions. Roberts claims that it is human nature to avoid things and make
uncomfortable situations easier on ourselves, so we often use technology instead of direct forms
of communication . “Place a value on one-to-one interaction,” Taylor suggests. A great way for
people to start doing this is to make it a requirement that everyone unplugs or shuts off their
electronic devices during things like family time and meals.
Socia media is the
ultimate equalizer. It
gives a voice and a
platform to anyone
willing to engage."
Amy ( o Martin (1969-)

About the Author:


Work with a partner. Read the quotation about social media.
Amy Jo Martin is an
Then answer the questions. American social media
expert and entrepreneur.
1 Martin calls social media "the ultimate equalizer." In your opinion,
does social media make people more equal? How does social media
give people a "voice"?
2 Do you believe interaction on social media is as meaningful as face-to-face interaction?
Why or why not?

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 213


1 PREPARE YOUR IDEAS

O Connect to Academic Writing


In this unit you will learn skills to help you make arguments to support your ideas. While some
of the writing skills that you will use may be new to you, others are not. in your everyday life,
you already use many of the same skills when you discuss questions such as What kind of car is
best for our family? and What is the best way to spend a free afternoon ?

O Reflect on the Topic


In this section you will choose a writing prompt and reflect on it. You will develop these ideas
throughout the unit and use them to practice skills that are necessary to write your essay.
The writing prompt below was used for the Student Model essay on pages 220-222. The
student reflected on her topic and decided to write about girls in girls-only classrooms. She
used a chart to help her think of reasons why girls should or should not learn in girls-only
classrooms. This helped her think of a possible thesis.

'I WRITING PROMPT: Single-sex education is a controversial topic in the United States. In your
opinion, is it beneficial for students - either girls or boys - to learn in a single-sex classroom?

Yes / Positive No / Negative

•environment less distracting when •competition between girls and boys is


se pa rated usefui
•builds confidence in girls •does not treat giris and boys equally
•do better in school •reinforces stereotypes
•giris [ earn differently •does not prepare giris for the real world
a a .
i 4 a k a a a a a i a a .
a a a k i a k a i I I a . a i a a a k k i a s k k i a s k k ..
a a a k i a a a

- p + p
-
f H I H -

My thesis: / think that girls should learn in girls - only classrooms because they learn differently and
girls - only classes help them do better in school.

1.1 Notice
Work with a partner. Discuss two more reasons for each column of the chart. Then, for
each column, choose the reason that you think is the strongest.

214 UNIT 7
& 1.2 Apply It to Your Writing
Follow the directions to reflect on your topic.

A Choose a prompt:

• Some research shows that social networking sites have a negative impact on young
people. Do you agree ? Why or why not?
• Peers can have an influence on the behavior of a child. This influence can be negative or
positive. Is peer pressure mostly beneficial? Why or why not?
• People have different opinions about what kind of school community is best for students.
Is it positive or negative for young people to go to school with students who come from
similar social backgrounds ?
• A topic approved by your instructor
B Work with a partner and complete the following tasks:
1 Think about your prompt. Decide what you will focus on in your essay.
2 Complete the chart below. Think of as many reasons as you can to support each side of
the topic. Add more rows if you need them.
3 Write a possible thesis statement.
Yes / Positive No / Negative

P 1 1 PI * " P 11 P P t 1 P 'P 1 1 P P 1 t p rr ! P P T19 F P f 9 9 H P f 9 P P T 9 P P 9 9 P P 9' 1 9 P P 9 P F t


- P t 9
- F t 9 9 P P1 P T 9 P P19 P 1 9 9 ! 9 9 P P 9 9 9 P P 1 9! 9 B P “P 1 S F

a i i.

a ..
E i i a a m k i . a a .
t i a a Li .
a a a B a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a i a a a a a a a i .

ii I I n ii r i i i r n i l! I 1 F I nan i F r i r i in i n ' n r i n <i r i ‘i n r i r r i i? r n r ii n r r I I B I FI I I I! 1


' IIP I a i P i i i i Fl B F I 1 II I

FI 11 B F 1 B B l l F I F 1' f l 1 B F I F I I I B r I I B F I t a i i i i i FI B r I I I I B B I I I B T I I B F I I I B I I I I B I a B I i B n I B F B n 1 1 1 i a B i I B I I B B II B fl

9 P 9 9 r i 9 P F P 1 9 F P 9 9 9 P 'r 9
- " P 1 9 P P P 9
" P I I P P P 9 9 F P t 9 9! B i t 9 F F t 9 F T t B F T I B P T 9 9 P 9 9 9 P F 9 9
- P I 9 F F F I F P T I
- F F t
- H P 9' 9 9! F F 9 1 9 P P 9 9 P P 9' 9 S P I 9
1

- F ft t 9 F F P 1
- F F # t
- P1' f
- P 9 9 F 'F 1 9! F P T 9 H F
,f c 'P 9 P P T 9 9 P p 4 9 P P 1 1 9 F T 1 9! B P 'F t 9 F P 9 9 F1' 9 9 F 9 B F P 9 B F P T 9

F F t T F F t t
— —
F F t I" t S F

a a a a a a fa a a fa a a .
A a a k a a a a a a a a a .
i .
a i a a a a i a fa a a fa fa

Possible thesis statement:


I . a a a a a a fa .
a a .
B a .
i fa a fa a a fa a a fa a a fa a a .
a i a a fa i a fa i a .aa
i fa in a fa .a
fa i a a a i a a a a .
a i a fa In a .
fa i a fa

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 215


O EXPAND YOUR KNOWLEDGE

In this section you will learn academic language that you can use in your argumentative essay.
You will also notice how a professional writer uses the language and features of argumentation.

O Academic Vocabulary
The words below appear throughout the unit. They are from the Academic Word List. Using
these words in your writing will make your ideas clearer and your writing more academic.

capacity (n) constraint (n) evidence (n) selective (adj)


conclusion (n) equate (v) perception (n) stable (adj)

&
2.1 Focus on Meaning

Work with a partner. Match the words to their meanings. Write the letters.

A
He is a very stable person. He doesn't get angry a something that limits
easily, nor does he make quick decisions. what you do
2 Time zones are one important constraint people b to be similar to
must deal with when trying to stay in touch with
family far away.
3 Having expensive technology is often equated c an opinion based on
with being wealthy, but many poor people own information
smartphones as well.
- - -.- - m .4
m
4 Online relationships often cause people to come to d not likely to change or
the wrong conclusion about someone and misjudge end
who they are and what they believe.

B
l Young people do not always understand how a fact or idea that helps
selective they should be about who they choose to prove something true
"friend" on the Internet.
2 It is a common perception among young people b ability to do or
that if you know someone through social media, they understand something
are your friend, but this is often proven false.
3 Some people believe that women have a natural c careful in choosing
capacity for dealing with children because of how
cultures view motherhood and fatherhood.
4 Survey results, medical statistics, and other evidence d an opinion based on
in the report show the dangers of social media for appearances, often an
children. opinion many people
have

216 UNIT 7
O Academic Collocations ©
Collocations are words that are frequently used together. Research tells us that the academic
vocabulary in Part A is commonly used in the collocations in bold below.

& 2.2 Focus on Meaning

Read the sentences. Decide the meaning of the phrases in bold and circle the correct answer.
1 Among high school students, there is a popular perception that joining many school clubs will
make their college applications stronger, but some people say that being very active in one club
is better. Popular perception means
a the way most people see something.
b an uncommon belief.
2 Being in a stable relationship can help people stay sane during stressful situations because they
know that they can depend on a partner for support. Stable relationship means
a .
a difficult relationship that ends quickly
b a relationship that lasts a long time.
3 The study by the Work and Family Research Center at Boston University presented strong
evidence that mothers in the workplace were less likely to get promoted than fathers. It
documented this trend in companies all over America for ten years. Strong evidence means
a many facts that support many different conclusions.
b facts obviously leading to a single conclusion.
4 Researchers drew a conclusion from several studies that all showed the same facts: cyberbullying
has the same effects as real world bullying on young people. Draw a conclusion means
a to decide on a single idea based on evidence.
b to sketch out an idea based on a guess.
5 It seems obvious that principals have the capacity to change the behavior of their students,
but they do not always realize that their impact spreads beyond the classroom. Have the
capacity means

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 217


0 Writing in the Real World
The author of "Dunbar's Number" uses features of argumentation to make the article's ideas
stronger.
Before you read, answer these questions: How many friends can a person really have ? Why do
you think so ?
Now read the article. Think about your answers to the questions above as you read.

DAWN BRANLEY ( ADAPTED )

1 In 1992, Robin Dunbar concluded that the What does this mean in relation to Dunbars
maximum number ot friends one individual Number and his conclusion that we cannot
can have is 150. This is now referred to as cognitively' manage more than 150 triends ?
Dunbar’s Number. 5 As I see it, there are two possible explanations:
2 You might be wondering how there can be a
• Social media “triends” are not really friends
maximum limit. Surely we can have as many
in the traditional sense.4 Thereto re Dunbars
friends as we wish ? Well, Dunbar was talking Number still applies.
about real friendships, that is, stable social
relationships, not mere acquaintances. 5 On • Social media aids our management ot
average, he says, we have 5 best friends, 15 relationships in a manner that frees us from
good friends, 50 close friends and / or family, our previous limitations. Theretore Dunbars
and a total of 150 friends. Number does not apply in the online
1

environment.
3 According to Dunbar, the processing
capacity ot our brain’s neocortex2 places a 6 Goncalves, Perra, and Vespignani (2011) tound
biological constraint on the number of stable evidence to suggest that Dunbars Number
friendships we can maintain. still applies in the online world. They found
that even though individuals may have more
than 150 connections on their social media
accounts, they still showed signs of limiting
4 Many social media users have over 150 social interaction to around 150 people.
friends on their social networking accounts.
‘ acquaintance: a person you know but do not know well ’cognitively: in away related to thinking and reasoning
hieocortex: a part of the brain responsible for feeling and in the traditional sense: in the way we normally think of
thinking something
'does not apply: is not true, relevant, or important

218 UNIT 7
7 In 2009, The Economist asked Facebook to loved ones. It was developed in 2010 by a
find out the average number ot friends per designer who used to work at Facebook. In
user ; their answer was 120 . This number contrast to many social media sites, Path
may surprise you because there is a popular limits the number oi friends a user can have
perception that many users have many more to 150. This is no coincidence since Path was
than this. It’s true that some do, but it is inspired by Dunbar s Number and built with
interesting to note that the average falls close it in mind.
to Dunbars Number.
8 This all suggests that the cognitive limits 10 What are your thoughts ? How many social
to the number ot friendships that we can
media friends do you have, and how many
manage still applies even when we use social ot these do you perceive as being true
media to maintain friendships. What seems
friendships? Do you believe you can maintain
to be happening is that the term “friend”
more than 150 close social connections ? In
is not being used on social media in its
my case, I have fewer than 150 Facebook
commonly accepted sense, and that an online friends. This has not been a conscious
friend does not necessarily equate to a true decision based on Dunbar’s Number. My
friendship. Facebook friends are fewer than some users
People who are members of online social because I choose to be very selective . I only
networks are not so much “networking” add people who I want to communicate with
as they are “broadcasting” their lives to on a fairly regular basis.
an outer tier of acquaintances who aren’t
li Personally, I think 150 people sounds like
necessarily inside the Dunbar circle. a lot of connections if we are talking about
( Rainie , qtd. in The Economist , 2009 )
fairly close connections. All of this brings
me to the conclusion that the term “friend ”
on social media is not a very useful or
appropriate one. Perhaps the term “followers”
9 Interestingly this has been recognized by one as used on Twitter or “connections” as
social media platform. Path is an application
used on Linkedln are more accurate than
designed to work as an online journal,' 1

Facebook’s “friends” when it comes to


which you share with your close friends and
defining our social media relationships.

journal: a diary

2.3 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 What is Dunbar's Number?


2 What is the central problem surrounding friends and social media that the author addresses?
3 Do you agree with the author's claims about the possible number of friendships? Why or
why not?

2.4 Notice the Writing

Answer the questions.


1 Look at paragraphs 6 and 7. Circle the evidence used by the author.
2 Look at paragraph 11. Underline the words that show the author's stance on this topic.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 219


3 STUDY ACADEMIC WRITING

In Section 1 you saw how the writer of the Student Model reflected on her topic. In this section
you will analyze the final draft of her argumentative essay. You will learn how to structure your
ideas for your own essay.

O Student Model
Read the writing prompt again and answer the questions.
WRITING PROMPT: Single-sex education is a controversial topic in the United States. In your
opinion, is it beneficial for students - either girls or boys - to learn in a single-sex classroom ?
1 What issue is the prompt asking the writer to have an opinion about?
2 What reasons could the writer give in support of boys or girls learning in single-sex
classrooms ? What reasons could she give against them?

Read the essay twice. The first time, think about your answers to the questions above.
The second time, answer the questions in the Analyze Writing Skills boxes. This will help
you notice key features of argumentative essays.

Why Girls Should Learn Alone


Can learning in girls-only classrooms help girls be more successful? I
believe it can. In contrast to coed1 classes, single- sex education means that
only students of one gender will be in a class together. In some countries, all
schools are single -sex. In other countries, such as the United States, students
can choose a single -sex school only if there is one close by. The number
of single-sex schools is rising in the United States, but educators disagree iyze W
on the benefits of them . Proponents2 say that girls-only classes remove a Underline the sentences
in paragraph 1 that give
the social pressures that girls feel. Opponents say that they make girls less background information
on the issue ,
competitive and act stereotypically. In my opinion , girls should learn in
b Circle the sentence
girls-only classes because they become more self- confident and perform that states the writer's
opinion about the topic.
better in math and science. Is she for or against
2 First of all, girls in girls - only classes develop a confidence in themselves single-sex classrooms?

that stays with them. When I was younger, I attended a girls-only high 2 Analyze Writing Skills
school in Ecuador. Without boys in class, we were less shy. We felt free to In paragraph 2, which kind
of evidence does the writer
express ourselves and take risks. Personally, I started to participate in class use to support the topic
more, and the more I did , the more confident I became. This is true of many sentence? Circle ail that
apply.
of my friends, too, and this confidence remained after we graduated. There a research
is also strong evidence of the effect of girls-only education on confidence b a quotation
in a 2014 report by Linda Sax and her colleagues at the Higher Education c a personal experience

' coed: for male and female students together


proponent: a person who supports an idea , plan, or cause

——
220 UNIT 7
3 Analyze Writing Skills
Research Institute of UCLA ( HERI). The report compared freshman girls What mode does the
from girls- only schools to girls in coed schools and found a significant writer use in paragraph 2
to make her point ?
difference in confidence in their academic ability, public speaking skills, a narrative
and computer skills. It is obvious that an all- girls environment leads to b cause and effect
success (Sax et al. ). c comparison and
contrast
3 In addition, girls in single-sex classes do better in math and science and
have more positive attitudes toward these subjects. One study in Canada
looked at grade differences for girls in the final two years of high school
(Shapka and Keating). The researchers compared the effects of girls -only
and coed classes on math and science performance. They found that the 4 Analyze Writing Skiiis
In paragraph 3, which
grades for girls in same-sex classrooms were 5 percent higher than their piece of evidence is
peers3 in coed classrooms. This is a noteworthy difference. The HERI strongest in your opinion?
Why do you think so ?
study found that SAT scores on math and verbal skills were over 40 points
higher for girls in single- sex education. These girls were much more likely
to study engineering. These statistics show that girls- only schools could
produce more successful women in the workforce, especially in the areas of
technology and engineering.
4 Some critics of single- sex classrooms argue that single -sex education
is dangerous because it reinforces gender stereotypes.4 In their view, a
same -sex environment makes girls and boys emphasize the differences
in each other and adopt stereotypical behaviors. In other words, girls
act more passively and boys act more aggressively. While it may be true 5 Analyze Writing Skills
that same- sex grouping has the capacity to make boys and girls aware How is paragraph 4
different from the
of differences, we should not draw the conclusion that they behave previous two paragraphs?
Circle its purpose.
stereotypically as a result. Some research has shown that, in fact, students
a toexplain why girls-
behave in a less stereotypical way. Similarly, a study by Park, Behrman , and only classrooms are
dangerous
Choi looked at girls in single- sex and coed physics classes. They assigned
b to discuss the reasons
girls to each class and found that those “ in the all- girls classroom were less why people might
disagree with her
likely to regard physics as a boys’ subject, compared to girls who had been
randomly assigned to the coed classroom” ( Park, Behrman, and Choi ).
In other words, the single -sex environment allowed girls to be free of the
limits and expectations that they felt in the mixed gender classroom.

5
peer: a person of the same age, social position, or abilities as other people in a group
’stereotype: a description of a particular group of people that is usually false or inaccurate

( CONTINUED)

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 221


5 In conclusion, studying in a single -sex environment has important
6 Analyze Writing Skills
benefits. It can make girls be more self- confident and improve their grades in Underline the writer's
math and science, two subjects that can lead to jobs in growing fields. Girls call to action or
recommendation in the
deserve to have the opportunity to enjoy these benefits, no matter where they final paragraph .
live. Girls-only classes must be available everywhere to make that possible.
Works Cited
Purk , Hyutyooiij fere R Bchriiim, and Jacsung Choi Causal Effects of Single - Sep Schools oti College Entrance Exams and College
. .

Attendance: Random Assignment in Seoul High Schools PSC Wmltmg Paper Sente*. LI of Pennsylvania , Jan 2012 Web, 24 Oct 2014
* , , , ,

Sax, Linda I - , etui Women Graduates of Single - Sex and Coeducational Higli Schools: Differences in Their Characteristics and the Transition to
.

College . Higher Education Research Institute, U of California, Los Angeles, 2009 Web , 28 Nov. 2014
, .

S hap lea , Jennifer, and Daniel Keating " Effects of a Girls- Only Curriculum During Adolescence: Performance, Persistence, and
.

Engagement in Math entities and Sioencer American Educational Research Journal 40 4 ( 2003 ): 929 —60 , Print
, ,

& 3.1 Check Your Understanding

Answer the questions.

1 According to the writer, what advantages do girls-only classes provide?


2 What is the writer's opinion about math and science classes for girls?
3 Has the writer convinced you that all-girls schools make girls more successful? Why or why not?

3.2 Outline the Ideas

Complete the outline for "Why Girls Should Learn Alone" using the phrases in the box.

critics - single-sex classes reinforces stereotypes


HER! report
less shy
participated more
physics - not only for boys
Park, Behrman, and Choi - does not reinforce stereotypes
math and verbal skills - 40 points higher

222 UNIT 7
ESSAY OUTLINE

Introduction

Thesis Girls should learn in girls -only classes because girls become more self-confident and I BIJ IILIJ II Blfl IIiltl IIllll

Statement

perform better in math and science,


Body
Paragraph 1: II, More confidence
First Point

Supporting
Idea 1
A. Personal experience at a girls -only high school

Detail 1* Ik III IBill J Ik J II. Ilk I IL III Ikill

Sub-detail a, Free to express ourselves and take risks

Sub-detail b, . J LIJ .
LIJ J LI BJ IIJ I LIJ IIIIJ IILIJ IIIIIII BUI I BIU I IIJII LI J IIIIII I LIU I LIU II a J IIIIII I J IILIJ I LIIIJ ILIJ Im i .
IIIIIIIIJ I llllI Lt LI

Supporting
Idea 2 0,

Detail 1. Compared freshman girls from mixed sex and girls -only schools

Sub-detail a,. ILIJ Difference in confidence, public speaking skills, computer skills
Body
Paragraph 2: ..Do better in math and science and more positive attitudes
.1.1,ft .

Second Point

Supporting A, Shapka and Keating study


Idea 1

Detail 1 . Compared effects of girls-only and coed classes in math and science JJ IIIJIIIIJ J IIIJIILIJ IIJ .
IIJI ILI I IIIIIIILI II LIU

Sub-detail a . Grades were 5 percent higher

Supporting
Idea 2
13, HERI report

Detail 1
L» .
n ILIJ ii LIB i ILIJ II LB J IIBU II BBJ II IBJ I BBU I BIIJ I BBBJ I LBJ Lll lILll lILBJ I BUII BIB IIIBI J LIJ LBJ J

Detail 2 . More likely to plan for careers in technology and engineering

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 223


Body Paragraph 3:
Counterargument K 4 1P P k k k 4

and Refutation
Supporting
Idea 1
A . Emphasizes d iff erence& 4

Detail 1,G \ rl s more passive* boys - more aggressive P "" P kk k

Supoorting
Idea 2
1 P* 4 P t P k k k 4

Detail 1. <3irls in single - sex and coed physios classes P k

Detail 2.. 4 P kk k

.
Y Conclusion 4 k k 4 4 8

O Argumentative Essay with Refutation


The purpose of an argumentative essay is to convince the reader of your ideas by making clear
and strong arguments for them. In addition, you will also need to explain why your argument
is better in some way than your opponent's arguments. This skill is called refutation.
An argumentative essay that includes refutation has the following structure:

• An introductory paragraph that introduces the topic and necessary background


information, leading readers to the thesis statement
• Two or more body paragraphs that build the argument by explaining each point, or reason,
and giving clear evidence to convince the reader that the point or reason is valid.
• A final body paragraph which raises a counterargument and a refutation that explains the
counterarguments weaknesses and tells why your argument is more valid.
• A concluding paragraph that restates the thesis and ends with a suggestion, prediction, or
call to action.

224 UNIT 7
& 3.3 Notice
Look at the Student Model essay on pages 220-222. Read the summary sentences for
each paragraph below. Number them in the same order as they appear in the essay.
. . a Even though some people think that coed classrooms reinforce stereotypes, evidence
suggests that the opposite is true.
b Girls develop a stronger self-confidence in themselves and their abilities because they
are free to be themselves.
c Girls-only classes have clear advantages over coed classes, which is why girls in all
schools deserve access to them.
rran 1 d Increased self-confidence and higher performance in math and science are the two
main advantages of girls -only classes.
e When girls learn math and science in girls-only classes, they get better grades and are
more likely to pursue careers in these areas.

INTRODUCTORY PARAGRAPH
An introductory paragraph for argumentative essays has a few important features:

• The hook helps writers attract the attention of the reader.


Can learning in girls - only classrooms help girls be more successful? I believe it can.

• The background information helps readers understand the topic and shows them why
the topic is relevant and important. When choosing your background information, it is
important to be aware of your audience - including their knowledge of the topic and range
of views. For background information to be effective, consider your readers and ask yourself
these questions:
- What do my readers know about the topic? How much do I have to explain?
In contrast to coed classes, single-sex education means that only students of one gender will be
in a class together. In some countries, all schools are single-sex. In other countries, such as the
United States, students can choose a single- sex school only if there is one close by. The number
of single-sex schools is rising in the United States, but educators disagree on the benefits of
them.
- What common perceptions and views on the topic do my readers have?
Proponents say that girls-only classes remove the social pressures that girls feel. Opponents soy
that they make girls less competitive and act stereotypically.
• The thesis statement states your position or point of view and usually your main reasons,
which you will develop in the body paragraphs.
In my opinion, girls should learn in girls -only classes because they become more self- confident and
perform better in math and science.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 225


3.4 Write Background Information
Reflect on the prompt and think about the audience for your essay. Write four or five
sentences that answer the questions and make your introduction effective.

WRITING PROMPT: Should boys learn in an all-male environment?

i What do my readers know about the topic? How much do i have to explain about it?

i ..
i i i b i i B i .
i i B K i .
i B B .
1 J B I . I i B I J B B I . I B B I m m b I B B J B il B I 4 4 B B B B I B B B B a B B B B B B B B B B B
-I B B J il B B B B B

f 1 r r T

2 What common perceptions and views do my readers have regarding the topic?
r r p B B n B I r i n p i

.
B B
- k k 4 m m m ..
m m m m m m- B
- B .
B B B
- . --
B B B .
I B B B
- B m m B L B
-. .
I B
__ .
B B B B B B Bn B
- B B B
- B B B
-- .
B B B B k B B B B B . B B

9 9 1 P 1 P P 9 1 P 9 9 1 P m P r i r 'i i r i 9 9 i 9 9 r 1 9 9 I I I I P I P I 9 9 P I i i 9 r i I I p i i i 9 vi r 9i 9 9 p r i 9 9 p r i 9 r 9 r 9 9 B P

3.5 Apply it to Your Writing


Think about your audience and answer the same questions from Activity 3.4
about the topic for your writing prompt on page 215.
li J u i J II u I J I r i

I P P i n 9 9 9 9 9 9 9 P P r 9 i 9 P 9 9 9 1

B B B
- B k k B - B k :k B - .
B k k B B B k B .B B B .
k B B B B k B . B B kB B B k B - B B kB B m B . B B B BB B B B BB B - k BB B - k . .
B B B B B k B . B B k LAB B B . .
B B B B B .
B BB B B .
B BB B k B . B k k k BkB ; B B k A . m m B k .B B
- B m m m m B B B B B .
B k B B B B B .

P 9 1 9 9 E r I I 9 E P r I 9 B P P 9 P 9 1 9 P P P 9 P P 'P 'I P P 9" 9 P P 9' 9 P P 9 9 P I P 9 P P 9: 9


I
P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 1“ 1 P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P T 1 9 P 9' 9 9 P IP 9 9 I 9 P 1' 9 9 9 P 1 1 9 P 1 9 9 P I 9 9 9 P I I P 1 9 9 B P I 9 P P
THESIS STATEMENT
A thesis statement is also called a claim in argumentative essays. A strong thesis statement
does the following:

• It answers the question in the prompt.


• It contains the topic, the writer's point of view, and the main reasons for it. Those main
reasons are then covered one by one in the body paragraphs.
• It is narrowly focused. If your thesis statement is too general, it will be hard to come up with
good reasons and evidence to support it.
• It contains only one point of view. To write an effective argumentative essay, you must
decide what you believe and try to persuade readers of that one idea only, not other ideas or
points of view.
Avoid writing weak thesis statements by following the rules below:
Rules for Creating Strong Thesis Statements
1 Do not simply introduce the topic.
Weak: / am going to write about singie- sex education because I am interested in that topic.
Strong: in my opinion, girls should learn in giris- oniy classes because they become more seif-
confident and perform better in math and science.
2 Do not just state an opinion that is vague.
Weak: Cyberbuliying is a bad thing for children.
Strong: Cyberbuliying destroys self -esteem, creates anxiety and inhibits the social development of
children.
3 Do not just make statements of fact that everyone would agree with.
Weak: Social media is a very common way to communicate.
Strong: Social media is a useful tool for influencing political, moral, and social opinions.

3.6 Notice
Read the thesis statements below. Write W \i the argument is weak and 5 if the argument
is strong. Write the reasons why each statement is strong or weak.
1 Today I can see more and more children using social media to connect with their
friends and relatives.
J .
L L 1 II L I I J I I J L I J

2 Teenagers need to learn email etiquette because it will have positive effects on their
personal and professional lives in the future.

3 Many people think teaching children at home is a good idea because of ail the
problems in local schools.
fc L i J a > B i l l
^ B, I a b b Ji i a b b b a m B b b a a .
i .
b 4 J s I I B b

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 227


. . 4 Requiring people to use their real names on social networking sites would make
children safer, prevent scams, and allow people to connect with old friends more easily.

5 I am interested in learning why parents do not have more influence on their children as
they get older.

3.7 Practice
Work with a partner. Choose a weak thesis statement in Activity 3.6 and make it stronger
by taking out first- person pronouns and replacing vague opinions with specific reasons.

a G u L L I a G L .
LI L B i a L a .
a a a B I G J J j a .
& i

BUILDING STRONG ARGUMENTS IN BODY PARAGRAPHS


The argument is developed in the body paragraphs, where writers give reasons that support
their point of view. For each body paragraph, writers include a topic sentence that identifies the
reason from the thesis. Look at these examples from the Student Model:
First of ail, girls in giris- oniy classes develop a confidence in themselves that stays with them.
In addition, girls in single-sex classes do better in math and science and have more positive attitudes
toward these subjects.
To make an argument strong and convincing, each reason is supported by evidence such as
examples, facts, statistics, research, quotations, and personal experience. Below are examples of
the types of evidence that writers use to support the arguments in their body paragraphs, some
of which are from the Student Model.
• Facts: Facts are ideas that can be proven or are accepted as true. They make your arguments
seem more logical.
Given that those fields have more men than women working in them, it is important to see this
benefit of girls- only classes changing cultural attitudes.
• Statistics: Statistics are numbers and data that come from research, surveys, and polls. They
make your arguments seem more credible.
They found that the grades for girls in same-sex classrooms were 5 percent higher than their peers
in coed classrooms.

228 UNIT 7
• Quotations: Quotations are the exact words of another person, usually an expert, authority,
or other respected individual. They make your arguments more valid. Writers can also
paraphrase quotations and cite the source.
They assigned girls to each class and found that those " in the all-girls classroom were less likely to
regard physics as a boys ' subject, compared to girls who had been randomly assigned to the coed
classroom" ( Park , Behrman, and Choi).
When the researchers randomly assigned girls to each class, they learned that the single-sex
environment made girls feel like they were as capable as boys when it came to understanding
physics.
• Examples: Examples are specific stories or cases that illustrate a point. They help the reader
imagine and understand what you mean.
Maria Amelia, a high school senior; was a star student in math. When her teacher told her that
she should study physics in college, she was shocked and looked embarrassed. The teacher had
several discussions with her and found out that Maria Amelia did not feel comfortable being in a
mostly male career. She decided she would be an accountant because it was more acceptable to
her family.
• Personal experience: Personal experiences are stories that happened to you or someone
you know. They make your arguments more real and believable.
When I was younger, I attended a girls- only high school in Ecuador. Without boys in class, we
were less shy. We felt free to express ourselves and take risks . Personally, I started to participate in
class more, and the more I did, the more confident I became. This is true of many of my friends,
too, and this confidence remained after we graduated.

In an argumentative essay, strong evidence is key for convincing your readers to agree with
your point of view. Strong evidence is specific and relates directly to the topic sentence of the
body paragraph. Weak evidence is general and does not relate to the topic sentence. Read the
examples below. Notice how the weak evidence does not show how girls do better in math
and science or have better attitudes:
Topic sentence: In addition, girls in single -sex classes do better in math and science and have
more positive attitudes toward these subjects.
Weak: Girls usually get better grades than boys in their classes. They try harder because they
like to do well.
Strong: One study in Canada looked at grade differences for girls in the final two years of high
school ( Shapka and Keating). The researchers compared the effects of girls-only and coed
classes on math and science performance.
To find strong evidence, ask yourself these questions:

• What facts or statistics would most likely convince my reader?


• What quotations or examples clearly support my point of view?
• What personal experiences would make my point of view more persuasive ?

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 229


& 3.8 Identifying Supporting Evidence
Read the writer's body paragraph for an argumentative essay on the effects of social
media on businesses. Then answer the questions.

First of all, social media allows companies to reach a worldwide audience, which
improves profits. All major companies today use various types of social media to improve
their customer base, such as Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. They know that millions
of people visit these sites every day, which can translate into millions of dollars for their
company A recent study found that customers who visit a company’s social media site
will bring in 5.6 percent more revenue for the company compared to customers who
never participate ( “Businesses Increase Revenue” ) . They state that is because social
media improves the customer ’s experience. It also creates a stronger sense of community
among customers. In other words, customers feel more loyal to the company because
they feel valued; therefore, they are more likely to visit the site and spend their money.
Considering that a company’s social media site reaches a much larger audience than a
store would using traditional marketing, this generates much higher profits as well.

1 Circle the thesis statement that the writer's body paragraph supports.
a Social media increase costs for businesses because staff is needed to interact with millions
of customers online.
b Social media helps businesses because they are able to attract more customers and figure
out what customers want more easily.
2 Circle the kinds of evidence the writer uses to support his ideas. Then underline the evidence
in the paragraph.
a facts d a summary of research
b statistics e examples
c a quote f a personai experience

230 UNIT 7
3.9 Match
Read the writing prompt, thesis, and body paragraph topic sentences. Match the
evidence to the body paragraphs. Write the letter.
WRITING PROMPT: Should parents monitor their children's text messages?
Thesis statement: Parents should not monitor their children's text messages because it can hurt the
relationship between them and cause their children to rebel.
Body paragraph 1 topic sentence: Close monitoring of texts can damage the trust between
parents and children.
Evidence:
Body paragraph 2 topic sentence: If parents monitor their children's texts, there is a higher
chance that children will rebel and make poor decisions.
Evidence:
a "Kids need to have a separate life their parents don't know ail about," says Dr. Schlozman. "If
you don't give them any privacy or independence, they may engage in riskier behaviors."
b Child psychologist james Lehman points out that monitoring children who are always
responsible and follow their parents ' rules will send the wrong message that they can never
be trusted.
c Children may try to find other ways to contact their friends privately, which could be more
dangerous. For example, they may lie to their parents, saying they need to stay late at school
when in truth they are secretly meeting their friends somewhere else.
d In my experience, most children want to do the right thing and gain their parents'
confidence, but sometimes parents feel like they must control everything, including their
children's text messages. As a result, children do not feel trusted.

3.10 Evaluate Evidence


Read the writer 's topic sentence, which identifies one reason why social media harms
companies. Then evaluate the evidence below. Write l/Vfor weak and 5 for strong. Explain
your answers to a partner.
Topic sentence: Businesses can lose money when their employees spend time on social
networking sites at work.
l i a r r a A study by Nucleus Research reports that businesses lose 1.5 percent in productivity
because of employees who use social media at work.
b Nucleus Research surveyed 237 randomly selected office workers in the United
States and found that 77 percent had a Facebook account.
2 a Most employees visit social networking sites when they are bored at work or
unsatisfied with their job.
b When employees visit social networking sites at work, they end up wasting their
employer's time.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 231


3 i B r i i i i n 1 Bfl II a My friend Susan works at a bank, and she is always checking her friends' posts on
her Facebook account.
b My friend Susan is always checking her Facebook posts when she is supposed to be
calling customers.

& 3.11 Apply It to Your Writing


Choose one of your supporting reasons from Activity 1.2 on page 215. Write it in
the chart below. Then check ( /) two or three different kinds of evidence you want
to use to support your reason. Add your evidence to the chart.

Reason:

A fact

i a n j a
A statistic

A quotation

An example

A personal experience

COUNTERARGUMENT AND REFUTATION


In an argumentative essay, the final body paragraph often presents a counterargument, or
opposing argument, and a refutation, or reasons why the argument is weak. This technique
makes an argument stronger and more persuasive because it shows that the writer is
knowledgeable about the topic and has considered other points of view. Therefore, it is a good
writing skill to master.
Follow these steps to develop a counterargument and refutation:
1 Introduce the counterargument. Explain the argument and identify the people who
believe it.
Some critics of singie- sex classrooms argue that single-sex education is dangerous because it
reinforces gender stereotypes.
2 Describe the evidence or reasons people give for this counterargument.
In their view, a same- sex environment makes girls and boys emphasize the differences in each
other and adopt stereotypical behaviors. In other words, girls act more passively and boys act
more aggressively.

232 UNIT 7
3 Acknowledge any part of the argument that may be true or partly true and explain why. Then
refute the counterargument by calling attention to a weakness based on evidence or reasoning.
A refutation should be based on evidence, logic, and objective facts, not emotions or bias.
While it may be true that same-sex grouping has the capacity to make boys and girls aware of
differences, we should not draw the conclusion that they behave stereotypically as a result. Some
research has shown that, in fact, students behave in a less stereotypical way. Similarly, a study by
Park, Behrman, and Choi looked at girls in single-sex and coed physics classes. They assigned girls
to each class and found that those " in the all-girls classroom were less likely to regard physics as a
boys' subject, compared to girls who had been randomly assigned to the coed classroom."
4 Conclude by showing how your evidence disproves the counterargument.
In other words, the single-sex environment allowed girls to be free of the limits and expectations
that they felt in the mixed gender classroom.

3.12 Write Counterarguments


State the counterargument using the phrase in parentheses. Then write facts, examples, or
other evidence that someone might use to support the counterargument.
1 Social media harms businesses. (Some people claim that)
Some people claim that social media harms businesses For example, when someone .
famous shares a negative review about a company on Twitter, it can make their
followers decide to stop buying their products,
2 Coed classes prepare children better for the real world. (Some critics say that)
u .a
i L L J J L I I J I L L J B L I J

pi P H i - P Pi r ri H i a p H I - P H I - P T I I r T B B P T1

I a a M J

3 Online friends are not "real" friends. (Some opponents state that)
a .
ft L Jk J
-- Li tm m l .* . I*
ft m m k
* L J J fa L L J J fa f a >L J J f a f a J, J fa .fa J fa «fa J fa .
J J fa J> m

i n r p p I p pi 9 P P 9" 9 9 p r p p 1 P P I 1 1 B P I 1 1 P

J fa A J J B .
fa J J f a f a l J B f a f a i J f a f a l .I d fa L I J fa J fa fa J J .
J J J fa fa J a fa L J Ji fa L J J fa fa a Ji f a L J J . B i i I J B fa I J. I ti .
I J il fa ! I J a f a l J J B f a J J B B ft I . .. .
B B ft .
1 J 9 B ft ..
a fa B ft J a fa .a
i a .
I J i f a f a J J a f a l J J B f a J J J B L 1 .

4 Schools have a responsibility to stop cyberbullying. (Critics may argue that)


P p P "P 9 9
- - P 1 9
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- P 9:

9 9 1 1 1 9 9 I I J B 9 9 a B 9 I 9 li a a

P ++B P P + -- P P +9 P P !
*
«!
+» - 9 9 P H +

5 Competition is healthy in the workplace. ( Some people claim that)


I 9 B P I I 9 P P I 9 9 P P P 9 9 P I 9 P I I I 9 I P P 9 B P 9 I

fa L a > .
i i a .
B B J J k J a ik a m m k a a k k a a ik a B k I B k i L a fa fa i .
a a fa fa i a fa i a a fa a a fa .
a .
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a a a fa a a fa a a a fa a a . fa i a k a k a fa .
a a a a fa a fa k a a a fa a fa a a fa k a

p 'p 9 9 e r i 9 9 i P I 9 9 9 P I 9 " 9 P I 9
- 9 P I 9 E P I 9 P P 9‘ 9 9 P P 9* 9 9 P P 9 9 9 P I 9 9 9 P 9' 9 9 9 P 9 9 9
J
P I 9 P P P 9 9 P P P 9 B P 9 I 9 P P P 9 9 P P P P I 9 P 9 1 9 9 P P 'P 9 9 P P 9* 9 9 9 P tm 9 9 9 9 P I 9
- 9 P I 9 9 9 9 B P 9 9 H P *1

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 233


& 3.13 Write Refutations
Read each counterargument. Acknowledge the argument using the phrase in
parentheses. Then write a refutation.
1 Some people say that social media harms businesses. For example, when someone famous
shares a negative review about a company on Twitter, it can make their followers decide to
stop buying their products. (While this may be true up to a point ...)
While this may be true up to a point, the fact is that negative press can help a LLIJJB .a .
IL I LLIJJLLIJJ

company, too, Receiving a very public negative review gives companies a rare but useful
opportunity to a pologize to the world a nd show that they truly care a bout the ir !r
-- -
l 1P P H B PPH B rPB 1
-

customers. This may convince people that the company has high values and deserves

their business even more,. FBI FBI FBI ran FBI rifi FBI rifi FBI rifi FBI rifi FBI rifi rail itil i

2 There are some who say that teenagers should never engage in conversations or texts
without their parents' supervision. In their opinion, teenagers cannot be trusted to use their
cell phones responsibly. (Although it is true that some teens abuse this responsibility, ...)
a il J fi: fa m fain fa fa A fa fa J J fa fa J fa fa J fa fa L J I 4 fa fa fa J 4 . m ili 4 .B fafakkfaJrik k . : fa fa B> 4 m 4 fa fa fa fa .
fa 4 m m fa fa A 4 m fa fa 4

I I I r I E i i i i B i i i
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.
a f a. 4 L L J J B L I J I L f a lJ I fa fa k k I
-
fa fa fa fa fa. fa fa fa . .
fa fa fa fa B .
fa fa fa fa B I fa fa I fa fa fa

P B* B‘ B P B* B 9 P B1 B P P P B B B P F 1 B B P I B 9 B P I B E P P I B B P P I B P P B B 9 P "P B B B P B B 9 P B r B B B P I B B P P B P P P B B P P B B B P P B B 9 P T B B B P B' B B P P B' B"


*

a fa a fa fa a i fa fa a fa fa ii fa f a fa B I . fa a fa fa a B fa i . fa B fa f a. a ..
fa i i I a fa i . i a a fa i f a B L j j a f a f a j a fa fa a B i i . a H b a a fa I. a a fa a fa fa a B i . fa a fa fa a fa a a fa Ei a fa fa a a fa k i fa k a a .
L i i a .
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i i a i .
a a a fa a a fa fa a B fa i a B fa fa a fa a B fa a fa fa a fa i . a a fa i. a a fa 4 a B fa I fa fa L I

3 Supporters of online classes argue that they prepare students better for the twenty-first
century than traditional classes do. They often cite the fact that in more and more
workplaces, employees are expected to collaborate on projects via email and online
platforms. (I agree that ... . However, it is simply not true that ...)
i l l u v i n i i n ri

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fa fa f a fa
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fa fa fa fa fa 4 .
fa

P P B B m B B r II B p I B B P P I' B B P P I B* P I

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B k fa fa S B fa .
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f a k l f a f a k k I f a f a k k I f a f a k k fa fa fa k fa: fa fa L =1 . fa k L a. a f a k k a a fa k i i a k k k a a fa k fa .a a fa fa fa k k k a a k k fa. fa a fa .
k i fa a fa k fa . fa fa f a k k i f a f a k k .
i j . f a k k f a: .
fa fa . . .
k l f a f a f a k l f a f a f a k f a f a f a h k f a f a E k k f a J f a k k f a J f a k f a f a f a k .k B. f a k k f a f a f a k k f .
a fa
- fa k fa

P I I B P r B B P B' B B P B 9 P I B B P I B B P I I B B P r I B S P I B E P I’ I B P P I B B P P I B 9 P B P P I B B P P I B 9 P P B 9 P P B B E P “ B B P ' '1 B B P I I B e P I B P P P B B P ’ T B B P I B H P I B B B P I B B 9 P I B 9 P P I B B P I B B P P P B 9 P P I P B B B P P B B P B B B P B1 B B P P B

a a a

234 UNIT 7
4 Critics argue that companies should not ask to view people's Facebook pages when they
are hiring new employees. They claim that it is unfair to job applicants, and it violates their
personal privacy. (That may be so, but ...)
d B k .a
k J .
B I J

p r i i B rt i " B P i p P 1 1 P P I I B P P 1 1 P P P 1 1 P P T P l I P P r i l P P T I I 1 1 " Z P T S I P ‘P I 1 B P P 1 5 B K ’P I P P V 1 P P I 1 P P T 1 r T P P r i i P P i i ii r i B p i i i p p

k j k 4 a J k 4 4 k I .
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II I k 4 B h 4 4 h

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1

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11 B B B I I B B B B I

- S k + l - B P -i l - B P -
11 r1
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'1
- P 1

CONCLUDING PARAGRAPH
A concluding paragraph in argumentative essays contains the following unique elements:

• It states reasons why the writer's point of view is more valid than the opposing views.
In conclusion, studying in a single-sex environment has important benefits. It can make girls be
more self- confident and improve their grades in math and science, two subjects that can lead to
jobs in growing fields .
• It emphasizes the importance of the topic being argued.
Cirls deserve to have the opportunity to enjoy these benefits, no matter where they live.
• It ends with a strong comment, recommendation, or call to action.
Cirls - only classes must be available everywhere to make that possible.

3.14 Notice
Read the conclusion below from an essay about using real names in social networking.
Underline the restated thesis. Circle the recommendation or call to action. Put boxes
around the three arguments.

in conclusion, social media companies may have different policies, but that does not mean
that they cannot have one in common. Requiring people to use real names online makes
children safer on social media and prevents scammers from taking advantage of people. It also
allows people to find old friends and connections easily, which is the most common use of
social media sites. For social media to work well for users, all social media sites must agree to a
shared policy that requires users to use real names and validate identities when registering.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 235


4 SHARPEN YOUR SKILLS

In this section you will learn the writing and grammar skills that will help make your writing
more sophisticated and accurate.

O Writing Skill 1: Audience and Appeal


After writers build a strong argument, the next step is choosing the right approach that would
appeal to their audience.
The approach will depend on your purpose, audience, and point of view.
• Purpose: What do you want your audience to do ? Accept your view? Change their mind?
Take action?
• Audience: Who are you writing for? What do you have in common? What do they know
about the topic?
• Point of view: Why is this topic important to you? Do you want the audience to see you as
an ally ? An activist? An expert?
How you persuade your reader also changes according to your purpose, audience, and point of
view. Will you use logic, values, or emotions to convince them ?
• Logic: Children should learn in coed classrooms because many teachers dg_not_have training jn
how to teach a airls - onlv or bovs- onlv c/ass.
• Values: All children should learn in coed classrooms because equality is a basic principle of public
education.
• Emotion: All children should learn in coed classrooms because it is the right thing to do. You
would want it for your precious child
,

Finally, for your argument to be effective, your audience needs to trust you. You can build trust
by showing you are balanced, open to other views, or an expert on the subject.
• Balanced: There are some girls who learn better with female peers, and others who succeed
perfectly wejj in coed classrooms.
• Open: Although some people think coed classrooms cause too much competition between girjs
and_ boys, they actually make students feel equal when taught correctly.
• Expert: According to a recent report. students in coed classrooms perform just as well as those in
single-sex classes.

236 UNIT 7
& 4.1 Notice
Work with a partner. Read the sentences from "Why Girls Should Learn Alone. "
Then circle the answer.
1 "Girls-only classes must be available everywhere to make that possible."
The writer wants the audience to accept her view / change their mind / take action.
2 "In some countries, all schools are single-sex. In other countries, such as the United States,
students can choose a single -sex school only if there is one close by."
The writer is writing for someone who knows a lot / very little about the topic.
3 "The HERI study found that SAT scores on math and verbal skills were over 40 points higher
for girls in single-sex education. These girls were much more likely to study engineering."
The writer wants to be seen by the reader as an ally / activist / expert.
4 "Girls deserve to have the opportunity to enjoy these benefits, no matter where they live."
The writer is using logic / values / emotion to convince the reader.
5 "Some critics of girls-only classes argue that separating boys and girls is dangerous because it
reinforces gender stereotypes."
The writer is building trust by being balanced / open / emotional.

^
G 4.2 Apply it to Your Writing
Look at the ideas you wrote about your prompt in Section 1 on page 215. Use the
guide above to help you. Answer the questions on a separate sheet of paper.
1 What do you want your reader to do?
2 Who are you writing for?
3 Why is this topic important to you?
4 Will you use logic, values, or emotions to convince your readers ?
5 How will you build trust with your reader?

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 237


O Writing Skill 2: Language for Introducing Counterarguments
and Refutation
When writers introduce counterarguments and refutation in their writing, they often use the
following words and phrases.

Words to describe people: Although there are many benefits to online classes, there
critics, opponents; proponents, are still many critics/ opponents who question their
supporters effectiveness.
Proponents/ Supporters of online classes say they make
learning more dynamic.

Words to describe positions: Many private universities are for / are in favor of making
be for / against, be in favor of more classes online.
Some professors are against this proposal and believe
traditional courses help students learn better.

Words to refer to ideas: This fact reflects their belief that online courses are more
argument, belief, claim, fact, attractive to students because they offer students more
problem flexibility.
The teachers ' union makes the argument / claim that online
classes create problems for teachers.

Counterargument/ Refutation While/Although it is true that online courses provide a


language: while/ although it dynamic learning environment, they are not suited to ail
is true that ..., this may be s tuden ts.
so, but ..., it is simply not true
The author suggests that online classes make students
that .. .
responsible for their own learning. This may be so, but
some students need the discipline that a traditional
environment provides.
It is simply not true that online classes are less interactive.

Identifying a specific source: According to researchers at MIT, students learn as much in


According to ... online classes as they do in traditional classes.

238 UNIT 7
& 4.3 Combine Ideas
Complete the body paragraph with the words and phrases in the box.

according to argument critics in favor of this may be so

There are many companies that are .


a a A m I fi .. a m .a. A a. A A a .a. A ..
a 4 4 m .
a banning social networking
(1)
sites at work. They make the I I I i i ii i i a i i i n i i n l i L i i i i nn n H a n n s i that websites such as Face book and
(2)
Twitter distract workers and cause them to waste too much time V
( 3)
but giving employees a iittle free time while at work may in fact make them more productive.
..
1 A researchers at the University of Illinois, when people spend a
(4)
long time doing one task, they can easily lose focus (Ariga and Lleras). However, when they
take several short "mental breaks," it is easier for them to remain focused, and they perform
better at extended tasks. It is not surprising that the main i ii II i a n i I I i mm m of social
(5)
networking at work are bosses and business owners. They believe that time away from work is
time and money wasted, but it appears that this may not always be the case.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 239


0 Grammar for Writing: Complex Noun Phrases
In academic writing writers often use complex noun phrases to discuss complicated ideas in an
efficient way.
Below are common ways to modify nouns to create complex noun phrases:

COMPLEX NOUN PHRASES

i Two common types of complex


noun phrases have the following NOUN + RELATIVE CLAUSE

structures: Principals work hard to help children who are the


victims of cyberbuiiying .
Noun + relative clause
Noun + prepositional phrase
NOUN + RELATIVE CLAUSE
Extra support is needed for children at schools to
prevent bullying online or in real life.

2 Relative clauses are sometimes NOUN + - INC PHRASE

reduced to an -ing or - ed by Principals help children who- are being bullied online.
omitting the relative pronoun NOUN + - ED PHRASE
and the be form of the verb. Principals help children who are being bullied online.

4.4 Combine Ideas


Combine the sentences using complex noun phrases.
1 Companies worry about employees. Some employees waste time on Facebook.
m x J a s ii a a E k x a a m k a a a k k a a - i a a
- a a.
---- --- a l a
-- k a
-- I I a
--. i a a
-- a a a .
k i i i
- k a a a
- k k a a a k k a a a k i d
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a a a k k a a a k k a* a a .a
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a a a a k i a a B k a a a .
k k a a k k .
a .a
i a k k .
a a a
- .
k a a a k a a a a < a k In a k k a a a k k a

2 Cell phone abuse is a concern. Parents with teenagers are concerned.


" P P P r fi P r vi s r P I' B P P P T 1 P T B S P P T 11 P P B B P P T 1
--- P T B
- S P B B S P a s p r a p a a p r T

3 Today there are many popular websites. These websites are used for social networking.
l EI n II n n a H n i n a n FI n n n n n

4 The researchers compared girls. There were girls in single-sex and coed classes.
k k an k I a
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ft a a k a . a. a - k a a a k a i .
i a a k k a. a a k k a a a i a k k k i a
- ..
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a a a a k a a a x a a . E k i . a a
-- a a a - a a a
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-- .a a a a k a a a B k a

5 The report looked at boys. The boys were competing against girls.
B p r p s H r Ti P r T 1 n r r n* n n P P B n P ri - r r T B P P PT B P P P
* r r n p p T I B P P B P T T B P P PI P P TI P P I P S P PI P P I P * P T P H P P T P P P P I P P P T I P P P I I P P P I' P S P T I I P P T B B P r n i a P P I i s p -r i B P P P P B P T B -
P P P P P P P P P P T P P P T P p P I P P P P P P P P P P P P P T s -
P P I P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P B P T P' - H P T P P P P P

6 The students were taking online classes. The classes were being offered by private
universities.
H T T P P H P T B E T T S a r T p r B B - P P B B P P P P P P P B P P P P P P P
- P P I P
- P P I P P P p p p p p p p p P P P P P B P P P P B P P p n p p P S P p P E P T T P E P T P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P P -
P P P P P P P P P P P B P T P P B P I P P "

240 UNIT 7
Avoiding Common Mistakes
Research tells us that these are the most common mistakes that students make when using
noun phrases in academic writing.

1 Do not omit the relative pronoun with subject relative pronouns.


who
The girls were studying in single-sex classes performed better.
2 Remember to use the correct verb form when you use an - ing or - ed verb phrase.
studying
The girls studied in single-sex classes performed better.
3 Remember to use the correct relative pronoun for people.
who
The girls which studied in coed classes performed worse.

4.5 Editing Task


Find and correct six more mistakes in the following paragraph.

One reason cell phones make people worse at maintaining relationships is because of
who
texting. First, people prefer to text instead of call will try to have whole conversations with
someone in very short messages, which can cause confusion. Short texts cannot communicate
what voices and conversations can. People talked on the phone can hear pauses and changes in
tone, which results in clearer communication. For example, for a parent which wants to know
if her child is safe, a phone call is very important. Beyond this, texting teaches and reinforces
poor writing skills, which can affect those looked for jobs. For example, high schoolers text
often use abbreviations and spell words incorrectly. This problem has recently been identified
by U.S. universities. Many students which need better grammar skills now must take courses to
improve their writing so they can make a good impression on future employers. Texting is just
one way that cell phones have a negative effect on people want to maintain relationships and
social skills.

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 241


© Avoiding Plagiarism
Graphs and charts are a useful addition to an essay, but they need to be cited correctly.

I found some great information in a table about millennials and


their use of social media, but I'm not sure how to cite the
information. How do you cite information in charts and graphs?
- Hodan

i
*

Dear Hodan,
Charts and graphs are great sources of information! I'm glad you know that you need to
cite them. Many people forget to do that. When you refer to a chart or graph, but don't
include the graph in your paper, you should cite the source both in-text and in your Works
Cited. If you include the chart or graph in your paper, you should label it. If you include a
source as part of the label, you don't need to include that information in Works Cited.
Best regards,
Professor Wright

There are two ways to use the information from graphs and charts. Each requires a different
citation style.

CITING GRAPHS AND CHARTS

If you include the • Set the graph or chart close to the text that refers to it.
graph or chart in Label the graph or chart. Include Fig. + number and a short
your paper caption above the graph or chart. For example:
Fig. 1 . Negative technology experiences in relationships
• Include information about the source below the graph or
chart.
Source: Amanda Lenhart and Maeve Duggan, "Couples, the
Internet, and Social Media: The Main Report " Pew Research
Center. Pew Research Center, 17 Feb. 2014. Pew Research
Internet Project. Web. 9 Aug. 2014.
• Refer to the figure in your paper and summarize the
information in the graph or chart.
As figure 1 shows, 8 percent of married couples argue about time
spent online.
• Do not include a citation in Works Cited if you write the
source below the chart or graph.

242 UNIT 7
If you use the • Include an in-text reference, like all other citations.
information in a According to a recent Pew Institute Research Project, technology
graph or chart but do has a negative effect on couples ( Lenhart and Duggan).
not include the graph
• include a citation in Works Cited.
or chart in the paper
LenhartAmandar, and Maeve Duggan. " Couples, the Internet,
and Social Media: The Main Report." Pew Research Center. Pew
Research Center, 7 7 Feb. 2014. Web. 9 Aug. 2014.

4.6 Notice
Work with a partner. Circle the three things that are included with this in-text chart
to avoid plagiarism. What would you need if only the information in the chart were
included in the paper ?
Fig 1
As figure 1 shows, the longer a
Positive technology experiences in relationships couple is together, the less they use
Among internet users or cell phone owners in a committed relationship , the % the Internet and ceil phone in their
who have experienced the following by length of relationship relationship.
: Married/partnered Married/partnered
% Total ,B
10 years or less 10+ years
70

60
. - . - . .
50 "J
.
I libSJJ l kbJJ B B kfaBJ I .
bkdJ B l k l j 1i m m m i I k i B IB m I B' » . .
d B B m 1I B J i n B. m .
B B J B B k a i .
E B B J I B1 E B J .
B B m B LBBi B B BBBJ m .B B .
S ia B Bi ii B m m
^ B. L B J B .
m m B la m i B . .
m i B EBBJ EBBBJ B

40 f f t: rr P n i RP m m m m m m m
^ 1f P ? p "" t
- §

32 31
30 25 ... - P H I r p s i i i p i i i 1 PPII 1

21 19
17
20 1 1 1 1 II 1 1 1 1

12 9
10 I. L U J m m m .i

3
0
Felt closer to partner due Resolved argument Texted partner while at
to online or text message with partner online or home together
conversations by texting

PEW RESEARCH CENTER

Source: Amanda Lenhart and Maeve Duggan,


"
Couples, die Internet , and Social Media ; Ttic Main Report." Ren Research Center. 1

Pew Research Center, 11 Feb. 2014, Web , 9 Aug, 2014,

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 243


5 WRITE YOUR ESSAY

In this section you will follow the writing process to complete the final draft of your essay.

STEP 1: BRAINSTORM
Work with a partner. Follow the steps below to brainstorm more ideas.
1 Before you start, notice how the writer of the Student Model brainstormed. She wrote many
ideas. Then she circled three strong reasons she thought could support her claim. Finally, she
wrote research questions to help her find facts and evidence to support her ideas.

m WRITING PROMPT: Single-sex education is a controversial topic in the United States. In your
opinion, is it beneficial for students - either girls or boys - to learn in a single-sex classroom ?

Yes / Positive No / Negative

•environment less distracting when •competition between girls and boys is


se pa rated useful

(* builds confidence in girls j * does not treat girls and boys equally

(•do better in school D


•girls learn differently •does not prepare girls for the real world

Research Questions:
1 , Is a girls - oniy classroom less distracting? And does it really help?

2 , Does a girls-oniy classroom build more confidence? What evidence is there?

3, Do girls really get better grades?

4, Do girls learn differently from boys?

244 UNIT 7
2 Write the ideas that you wrote in Section 1, page 215, in the chart below, include ideas from
the Your Turns throughout the unit. Brainstorm more ideas.
Yes / Positive No / Negative

k .
I 4 k k 4ik ik
- . h I 4 m m
- f i h 4 . 4 4 h k 4 4
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- ..
k i 4 4 9 kI 4 . Ik 1 4I . fti k 4 4
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— h 4 4 4 k 4 k ik 4 k h b 4 4Ik .
4 4 ik 4 4 k J

I I

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1 P P P

m b 4 .
ii i 4 k k I k 4 4 m k .
k k J 4
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k A 4
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I i 4 4 .
k 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 .- - 4
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4 k I 4 4 b 4 4 . b b 4
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- 4 b 4 4. - - 4 b 4 4

I I J 4 B I i I i II B I i I 4 b II B I Ii I B I I I B III I I B I I 4 II I 4 I. 4 B I . 4 I. I I 4

Research Questions:

l 4 4 b I 1 4 b I 4 . . 4 4 b I I 4 H b l 4 4 b b 1 4 4 b I 4 . 4 4 1 4 4 4 b 1 4 4 4 1 I 4 b b .
l I 4 4 1 1 4 4 b b 4 4 b I 1 . 4 .
4 1 4 4 b I I 4 4 I I 4. 4 B I I 4 b b . 4 S b I I 4 f i 1 . 1 4 3 b I 4 E b I 4 a b I 4 b b I 4 b I I 4 B b I 4 4 b b I 4

2 .
I I In I I 4 b b I 4

3 i 4 a b I 4 4 b I I 4 b I 4 4 .. 4 b .
l 4 4 a b l 4 a b . l I 4 4 b l 4 3 4 1 1 4 4 .
4 1 4 a 4 I 1 4.. 3 b b 4 4 .
b I I 4 h b I 4 4 b b I 4 4 I . I 4 h I b I 4 3
- I I 4 b b b 4 4 b
—. . 1 1 4 4 b I 4 b b I .
b I 4 4 b I i 4 a b i 4
- b i 4 a b i a b i I. a a b b i a a b i 4 a .
b i> 4 a b i i 4 b b I 4 i

4 I 4 I 4

When you are finished, circle the three strongest points that support your thesis and write them
here.
l 4 4 k 4 4 k 4 4 4 k k k k 4

2 B b 4 4 a a b 4 4
-- b .
4 4
- B .
b 4 4
- b b 4 . 4
- b .
b 4 4 4 b b 4 . - .
4 b I 4 4 fi b b a
- . b i a a
- b h a
- a b b a a f i 44.1 f i 4 I .

3 b

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 245


STEP 2: DO RESEARCH: USING NON-TEXTUAL SOURCES IN RESEARCH
Non-textual sources, like graphs and charts, often include statistics, rankings, or other
numerical information that can be effective evidence to support your writing. As with written
support, it is important to evaluate the non-textual source to ensure it is relevant to your
argument. You also must give credit to the author of the source with a proper citation.
Fatima used a graph as evidence for her response to this prompt: Are gender roles important to
society? Read and find out how she did it.

I found a graph with excellent information about the number of \ y


i .*

female and male workers in different industries. After recording i


the source information (title, publication date, web address,
author, etc.), 1 took notes about the graph including: what
information the source includes, why this information is relevant s
to my argument, and how I plan to use the information in my
essay. Then, I incorporated the information from the graph into
my essay as support for my argument. Finally, I created a citation.

Fatima's Results

Thesis : Gender role expectations and trends in chiidhood influence career choices and
opportunities in adulthood.
1

Title of graph: “Occupations by Gender in the UK

Author(s): Office of National Statistics (ONS) Publication Date: 2013


What? The graph in this article shows that female workers dominate administrative,
customer service, &. teaching - twice as many women as men in each field. Male workers
dominate science & trade industries with at [east three times as many men as women
in each field.

Why? I want to compare the trends of subject interests and part-time jobs in high
school to career choices later in life.

How? This information supports my paragraph about how job fields are unbalanced in
their number of male & female workers, both in high school & adulthood,

Paraphrase (citation): Gender imbalance continues in the adult workforce with women
outnumbering men in administrative, sales, and teaching fields by at least two to one. In
contrast, men outnumber women in science and skilled trades by at least three to one
(Office of National Statistics).

5.1 Apply It to Your Writing


Follow the steps Fatima took to use a non- textual source for your essay. Write
the information in a chart.

246 UNIT 7
STEP 3: MAKE AN OUTUNE
Complete the outline below with your ideas from the previous steps.

ESSAY OUTLINE

. Introduction
Thesis
Statement
Body
Paragraph 1: i r i s II rn i i r m i r r i 11 r r i i r r a i i r r i 11 rn i i r r a i i r r a 11 P P I irpinrri 11 rm i r r s n r r i 11 P P I i r n n r r i 11 rn i i r r a i i r r a 11 r r a i i r n i i r n 11 rm i r m i r r i 11 r r a i i r r i i i r n 11 P P I i i r r i i i r r i 11 P P I irpinpri 11 r r a i i r r a i i r r a 11 r r a i irpiiirn 11 P P I I i r r a i i r r a 11 P P I I irpnipri 11 P P I I i r r i i i r r a 11 r r a i irtiiipn 11 r r a i i r r a i i r r a 11 P P I I irpiiirn 11 P P I I i r r a i i r r a 11 P P I I irpiurra 11 r r a i r

First Point
Supporting A
n reiTifpi

Idea 1

Detail 1
r n fl pifi P P I I rm pm

Detail 2 > I pa

Supporting
Idea 2 J&

Detail i i n pill r e a l PPII PPII

Detail 2 > I
Body
Paragraph 2:
Second Point
Supporting A
PBITIIPH
Idea 1 n I ran r

Detail 1,

Detail 32» » .

Supporting
Idea 2
&

Detail 1
PII n pifi PPII pm piai

Detail 32» » .

ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS 247


Body Paragraph 3:
Counterargument IV, -
P H IIIP 1I P P 11II re
- MI P I I I P H11i r e i i

and Refutation
Supporting
Idea 1 A . pPI pee pee pee peei pee ese eeeiie
- e i leee ipeeeipeeei pp
- - -
e ipe n p ei i eeei i p e m e i e i i eeee

Detail 1 P I P P 11IP P B 1IP i l lIP i l l rP 111P H1IP P B 1I P P B1I p P 11IP P B1I P P 11IP P
- 1IP P 11I P P 11I P P l 'l eiir

Detail 2 P I P P 11 eiir

Supporting
Idea 2
15, pee e

Detail 1 P I P B 11IP P MIP i l lIP i l l P P I11 P P H1IP P B 1I P P B1I P P M I P P B 1I P P 11IP P


- 1IP P 11I P P 11I P B11 P

Detail 2 .
Vffrrei- rr P I P P 11 1 1I B11 P

V, Conclusion pee peee ppee pee eeeipeee e e e i pP IIPEEEIPEEEIEEEE pee pee ee eee pee

STEP 4: WRITE YOUR FIRST DRAFT

Now it is time to write your first draft Here are some suggestions on how to get started.
1 Reread your essay prompt and your outline to make sure that your ideas answer the prompt.
2 Use your outline and notes to make sure you make your claim and reasons clear.
3 Just write and let your thinking come out on the page.
After you finish, read your essay and check for basic errors.
1 Check that your paragraphs are each focused on a single reason and evidence for it.
2 Make sure that you have correctly used noun phrases.
3 Make sure your thesis statement and topic sentences are clear.

STEP 5: WRITE YOUR FINAL DRAFT


i After you receive feedback on your first draft, review it carefully. Fix any errors.
2 Make a note of errors that were most frequent (misspellings, wrong verb tense, errors in
using commas). Try to avoid them as you write.
3 Review the Academic Vocabulary and Academic Collocations from this unit. Are there any
that you can add to your essay ?
4 Turn to page 276 and use the Self -Editing Review to check your work one more time.
5 Write your final draft and hand it in.

M
J£JP

248 UNIT 7
TEST TAKING
T MED WR T NG

For every minute


spen t in organizing,
an hour is earned."

Benjamin Franklin
(1 706-1 790)

About the Author:


Work with a partner. Read the quotation about time.
Benjamin Franklin was an
Then answer the questions. American author, politician ,
inventor, and diplomat .
1 According to the author, why is organizing an important skill?
2 Are you a person who is organized? Give an example.
3 Before you write, how much time do you spend organizing your ideas ?
Do you agree with the author that organizing ideas wili "earn" you time ?

TEST TAKING 249


1 CHALLENGES OF TIMED WRITING

WHY IS TIMED WRITING IMPORTANT?


There are many times in your academic life when you will be asked to write something within a
limited time. This may range from short answers to questions on a quiz or test, to entire essays
in response to a prompt. Timed writing is also used for college admissions, such as TOEFL,
IELTS, and GRE. Occasionally, you may be required to provide a timed writing sample as part of
a job application. In general, it is important for a college student to develop the skill of writing
well under pressure.

WHY IS TIMED WRITING CHALLENGING?


Throughout this book, you have done a lot of writing. You have had time to think and discuss
each essay before you started, and then rewrite your draft until it looked perfect.
Timed writing feels very different. Students who are good at timed writing have strategies to
quickly get focused, get organized, and get writing. Students who do not do well at timed
writing don't have those strategies, so they have more fear or worry. Here are some common
concerns that students have:
• Pressure to do well: "Doing well on this test is really important for my future. There's a lot of
pressure!"
• Anxiety: "I'm so nervous during a test I forget my vocabulary and grammar. I can't think!"
• Poor timing: "I forget to look at the clock, and I don 't always finish!"
• Poor planning: "There's really no time to brainstorm or make an outline!"
• Perfection: " I want it to be perfect!"
All of these concerns are common among everyone who does timed writing, both native
speakers and non-native speakers. Knowing your concerns about timed writing can guide you
in learning the right strategies to help you succeed.
In this unit, you will learn ways to use your time wisely and efficiently. You will develop skills to
write the best essay in a short period of time.

1.1 Reflect
Work with a partner. Discuss the concerns above that are true for you. Are there other
things about timed writing that are difficult for you? Do you have any strategies for
dealing with the challenges of timed writing?

250 UNIT 8
O ANALYZE THE WRITING PROMPT

An important skill in timed writing is to quickly understand the prompt and decide the best
type of essay to write. Below are the four steps that writers use to do this and an example of
a writer thinking through the steps using the writing prompt that follows. These steps should
take less than a minute.
WRITING PROMPT: Many students enjoy studying from home in an (online college class. ]
Others prefer to be in a(traditional classroom working with other students and the professor.
J ^
( ) How are these types of classes similar or different? (2) Which type of class do you prefer?

HOW TO ANALYZE THE PROMPT


Step 1: Decide what the topic is. Circle the key words.
"I need to write about both online classes and classes in a traditional classroom."
Step 2: Be sure you understand the question. In your mind, restate the question as a statement.
" Online college classes and classroom classes have similarities and differences."
Step 3: Notice if there is more than one part to the question. Number each part.
" There are two parts. I need to talk about how these classes are similar or different and I need to
give my opinion."
Step 4: Look at the language in the question. Decide what kind of essay (narrative, problem-
solution, comparison and contrast, etc.) that you will write. Underline the words that help you
decide.
" The words ' similar or different' teii me this is a comparison- and- contrast essay."
Below are words that are commonly used to indicate specific essay types. However, as you will
see, some words can indicate different types of essays depending on the circumstance in which
they are used, for example, the word change.

IF YOU SEE THESE WORDS AND PHRASES * * * YOU USUALLY WRITE THIS TYPE OF ESSAY:

describe, tell about a time when you narrative

affects, benefits, change ( as a result of situation cause and effect


of action), effects, impact, influence, leads to,
reasons, results

best, better, change ( over a period of time), comparison and contrast


compare, differ, different, similar

change (in terms of proposal, fix or remedy), problem-solution


solve, some ways, stop, what can be done

agree, believe, disagree, should, to what extent argumentative

TEST TAKING 251


2.1 Recognize Types of Essays
Match the writing prompts with the correct types of essay. Write the letter. Underline the
key words in the prompt that helped you decide.

a. argumentative c. comparison and contrast e. problem-solution


b. cause and effect d. narrative

1 College should be more than just a place for job training. It should also teach people
to be good global citizens. To what extent do you agree ?
2 People communicate with each other very differently than in the past. How has
human communication changed in the past 10 years?
What would the impact on education be if teachers were paid well, like bankers and
lawyers?
4 Sports programs for children, such as soccer and football, have become more
dangerous and more competitive. What are some ways that schools can change this
situation ?
i B r Describe a time when you did something helpful or special for another person. How
did you feel about what you did ?

& 2.2 Analyze Prompts


Work with a partner. Choose one writing prompt below and analyze it according to the
four steps to analyze a prompt.
1 Historic buildings should be preserved instead of being torn down, even if it is expensive to
maintain them. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
2 How does growing up in a city differ from being raised in a small town?

Many times the prompt may have one dominant type of essay, but it may also require you to
use features of other types of essays in your writing to answer other questions or to make your
points clearer and more convincing.
Read the prompt below and underline the words that indicate types of essays. Decide which
type will be the dominant one and then think about which features of other types that you
would use. Often, the first question in the prompt tells you the type of essay to write.
WRITING PROMPT: Describe a time when you had to make an important decision. What was
the decision? How did you make it? How did the decision affect you and important people in
your life ?
As you can see, the prompt requires that you tell the story about an important decision that
you have made, so you should use a narrative mode, but you will also use cause and effect to
explain how it affected your life.

252 UNIT 8
2.3 Analyze Complex Prompts
Work with a partner. Choose one of the following prompts, and on a separate sheet of
paper complete the steps to analyze it. Which essay type is dominant? Which features of
other essays will you also use ?
1 Some people say that we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. Describe an
occasion when either you or someone you know made a mistake. Explain what was learned
from the mistake and its impact.
2 Compare the ways two different generations communicate, for example, someone born
before 1970 and someone born after 1995. How are they different? In your opinion, have
these differences changed family relationships ?
3 PLAN YOUR WRITING

One of the biggest mistakes that writers make is not planning their writing process well. They
do not plan how much time they will spend during each step of the process, and they do not
take the time to brainstorm or make an outline before they write.
Taking a few minutes to plan your time and organize your ideas before you start writing will
save you time later during your writing. It will also make your writing better and your essay
more organized.
Imagine you are driving to a new neighborhood for a job interview and you have very little
time. Would you just start driving and figure it out on the way? Would you risk getting lost?
Probably not. You would probably look at a map or use a GPS to find the easiest way to get
there. Writing under pressure is the same. Plan first, write second.
Below is the list of steps for timed writing and suggested times for each step in different writing
situations. This will help you decide how much time to allot for each step. A good rule is to use
10 to 15 percent of your time for planning.

Timed Writing Situations

Steps 50 minutes 45 minutes 60 minutes 90 minutes

1 Plan your less than a less than a less than a less than a
time. minute minute minute minute

2 Analyze the less than a less than a less than a less than a
prompt. minute minute minute minute

3 Brainstorm. 2 minutes 3 minutes 4 minutes 5 minutes

4 Outline. 2 minutes 3 minutes 5 minutes 7 minutes

s Write your 20 minutes 30 minutes 40 minutes 65 minutes


essay.

6 Proofread. 4 minutes 7 minutes 9 minutes 11 minutes

After you have planned your time and analyzed your prompt, you will be ready to brainstorm
ideas. Below is a quick review of different ways to brainstorm.

YOU CAN USE * *- •- IF YOU ARE WRITING ABOUT ***

a cluster diagram (see page 15 for an reasons, advantages / disadvantages, ways,


example) etc.

a three-column chart (see page 49 for an a narrative


example)

254 UNIT 8
arrows to show connections (see page 81 cause and effect
for an example)

a Venn diagram (see example below) comparison and contrast

a chart that lists solutions (see page 144 a problem and its solutions
for an example)

a two-column chart (see page 215 for an an argumentative position


example)

Another brainstorming technique you could try is freewriting - or writing ail your ideas
quickly - to get your ideas flowing.
In timed writing situations, brainstorms will be quick. Often writers use individual words, short
phrases, symbols, and abbreviations so that they do not waste time.
Read the example brainstorm for the prompt below in the Venn diagram. Notice how the writer
uses symbols such as and $ instead of words to write her ideas down as quickly as possible.
^
WRITING PROMPT: How does a small, natural foods store compare with a large supermarket
that is part of a national chain in terms of what the business contributes to a community?
Which one is better for your community? Explain.

1 . The writer uses symbols like T 'A'


to represent " high" and " low" and
$ to represent money.

SUPERMARKET SMALL STORE

( products cheaper jobs - Equality


- Equality - supports local ppl
- not local - keeps more $ in cmtyII
- don' t know clerks
- pays better
- profits to HQ
- huge

3. She abbreviates words.


HQ = headquarters
2. She uses one or ppl = people
two words instead of cmty - community
sentences.

After brainstorming, two things should be very clear:

• Your thesis - including the points that you will cover.


• Support for each point in the body paragraphs.

TEST TAKING 255


& 3.1 Practice Brainstorming
Read the prompts below. Discuss with a partner which way you would use to brainstorm.
Your partner may have a different idea from yours.

1 How are working alone and working in a group different? Which do you generally prefer?
2 Many cities have good public transportation, but people choose to drive alone in their own
car, increasing traffic congestion. What are some ways to encourage people to change their
habits? Which one would be the most effective ?
The next task is to quickly organize your ideas in an outline. Preparing a quick outline will give
you confidence that you have the ideas to answer the prompt well.
Read the example outline below and notice that the writer uses only words, phrases, and
symbols to help her remember her ideas when she writes.

OUTLINE

.
I Intro

Thesis Small, natural foods stores are better for a community because They support thelocal , II k
- _. -
iii k d

people, provide good quaIity foods, and keep the prefits in the community .
. Support local ppl
.
1 Local suppliers ex: farmers,. busn owners, part of cmty . . i h f a u ik f a u 8I Im . m m II m m m l Im m m I a m m m a khiJ

.
III Quality I Il l hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii i hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii a hfia i
- i ii a hfia I I I a hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii i hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii a hfia i
- i ii a hfia I I I a hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii a hfia i i ii i hfia i i ii a hfia l n a i l i i i i i l &I n a

.
1 Organic, natural, healthier, Ex: my store J a i. J a a. n S IB. J i a. J In m tl I
* .
J I ..
J1 J a ii .
i i .. IIn m m d B m m m m I l, m m m .
Im m m JIm m .
m i Ia m m I .
mmmJ I km m4 I bkd II k . .
« I l bhl .
1a kam I khBJ

IV, .Profits in. cm.ty

. .Jnvests in ed programs for kids, support local econ


1 4 lik ad I iiii IdIbaad 8 liiildI L b 4 I b b d 4 iiibad I hbdd I kbriil ihilJ 8 k h 4 d I b b m 4Ihka . mm m bad m mmm mmm mmm .
l bbd bad add m mmm i

Remember to refer back to your outline as you write.

3.2 Practice Brainstorming and Outlining


Create a brainstorm and outline for each prompt. Work quickly. Compare your
brainstorms and outlines with your partner.
1 More and more people are volunteering in many different kinds of organizations. Is
volunteerism necessary in the world?
2 "'School is not a major part of a child's education, and it should not be." To what extent do
you agree or disagree with this statement?

256 UNIT 8
4 WRITE YOUR ESSAY

As you write your essay, it is important to be aware of three common pitfalls of writers that can
cause poor results:

• They do not plan their time well.


• They waste time during their writing.
• They forget about the time.
What you have learned so far should help you avoid these traps. However, because they are so
common, it may be helpful to remind yourself of them and follow the tips below:

i Plan your ideas well so that you do not feel midway through that you have nothing to say or
that in the end you did not really answer the prompt. Follow the tips below to feel confident
about what to write and how to write it:

DON'T

l Take the time to understand the prompt Don't read through the prompt quickly
and what your thesis should include. without analyzing it.
Include the key words from the prompt
in your thesis.

2 Take the time to brainstorm and do a Don 't start writing before you brainstorm
quick outline of ideas. and make an outline.

3 Use a new paragraph for each idea , Don't focus on more than one idea in each
paragraph.

2 Use your time well so that you do not spend too much time on things that will not improve
your score. Consider this comment from earlier in this unit: "I want it to be perfect." That
person wastes time trying to write a perfect essay. Follow the tips below to stay focused on
writing your ideas well:

DON'T

l Cross out mistakes. Don 't spend time erasing .


Insert a missing word with a carat (A ).

2 Forget about a hook or title if it is not Don't spend a lot of time on the
necessary for the test you are taking. introduction.
Keep the introduction brief.

3 Choose a position and stick with it. Don 't change your mind.

TEST TAKING 257


3 Keep track of your time so that you do not discover that there is no time to write a
conclusion or proofread for errors. Follow the tips below to keep you on track and on time:

DON'T

i Make a note as to what time the test Don 't ignore the clock.
ends.

2 Plan how much time to spend on each Start writing immediately.


step (see p. 254 for suggested times).
Check the clock regularly.

& 4.1 Reflect


Put a star next to the "Dos and Don'ts" above that apply to you. Discuss what you plan
to do differently in the timed writing task that follows in Section 6, Activity 6.2.

258 UN T 8
5 PROOFREAD

In timed writing, you are writing quickly. You may not notice that you have made some very
basic mistakes. That is why it is important to leave time at the end to re-read your essay and
check for errors. Most of the mistakes that writers make are grammar structures that they know.
Take the time to find and correct those mistakes!
You may already know that there are certain mistakes you commonly make in writing. Pay
attention to those when you proofread.
Use the acronym STAMP to help you correct the most common mistakes that writers make:
5 is for plural -5 on count nouns and -5 on third-person singular verbs. It is also a reminder NOT
to add an -s on adjectives before plural nouns.

Missing plural -s: Children who watch a lot of TV programA see a lot of advertisementA.
s
Missing third person -s: If a celebrity tikeA a certain brand of shoes, teens want those shoes.
No -s on adjectives: i was surprised by his strongs reactions against technology.

T is for using correct verb tenses and forms of tenses.

have been
Correct tense: In recent years there me studies showing the effects of technology on children.
A

being
Correct form: More children are been treated for addiction to technology.

A is for the article (or determiner) before all single count nouns. Also, remember to use the for
the second mention of the noun.

an
Article before count nouns: When children seeA advertisement for unhealthy snacks, they may
develop poor food habits.
"The" for second mention: Likewise, if a child sees an expensive toy on television, he may not
the
understand a toy is too costly for his parents to buy.
A

M is for missing subjects and verbs and for fragments.

are
Missing verb: / think that parentsA responsible for controlling what their children watch on
television .
, we
Fragment: Although advertising will always be in ourlives WeA can learn to control our impulses.
^

TEST TAKING 259


P is for errors in punctuation.

Wrong use of comma: Even thought many advances in technology will have a good effect on
society, scientists have concerns about some of its negative effects.
They •
Run-on sentence: Companies should be more responsible in advertising to children^ mey should
A

limit the amount of advertising during children's programming.

Finally check for words that you often misspell. Research tells us that the words below are most
commonly misspelled on academic tests:

believe different government percentage until


definitely environment nowadays their

As you make corrections, either insert words using a carat below (A) and the word above, or
cross out the error with one, single line and write the correction above. In all cases, write as
neatly as possible.

K4
(
* 5.1 Reflect
Which of the STAMP mistakes listed above do you often make? What other kinds of
mistakes do you make when you write?

5.2 Practice
Work with a partner. Practice spelling the commonly misspelled words.

260 UNIT 8
^ APPLY WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNED

In this section you will see how a student approached a prompt for a timed writing by
following the steps in this unit. After you study the Student Model, you will apply all of these
steps to your own timed writing task.

O Student Model
Follow the steps of the student writer as she writes an essay for a 45-minute timed
writing test. Then answer the questions in Activity 6.1 on page 263.

STEP 1: THE STUDENT SPENDS ONE MINUTE TO PLAN HER TIME.

" I have 45 minutes, so / can spend this much time on each step."
Analyze the prompt: 1 minute or less
Brainstorm: 3 minutes
Outline: 3 minutes
Write: 30 minutes
Proofread: 7 minutes

STEP 2: THE STUDENT ANALYZES THE PROMPT.

1 . The student WRITING PROMPT: Choosing a college or university is a difficult decision


circles key
words . for many students. © What are the (advantages) or disadvantages) of
" I

2. She
aflarge university) compared to a (small collegcjj? 3. She reads the question again
numbers the and underlines the words that tell
parts of the
—(2) Which would you (prefer) to attend? her what type of essay to write:
question. comparison and contrast essay. She
4 . In her mind she restates the question decides to do a point -by- point essay.
to be sure she understands It: "Compare
a big university and a small college. Say
which one I would like to go to."

STEP 3: THE STUDENT BRAINSTORMS IDEAS. SHE CHOOSES A CHART TO COMPARE THEM.
Brainstorm 1 . She uses exclamation
points to indicate strong
ideas and question marks
Large univ. Small coll. to indicate weaker or less
f certain ideas.
$$ same (?) $ 3,000/ sem. same (?)
(size of Classes) too big!! 150! better, smaller <25
2. She Extracurr activ better, more to do, film dub
circles the
strongest Profs more famous (?) patient
ideas . Each
idea will be (Help / admin.) bad exp. - rude on phone, busy nicer!!
a separate
body Famous sports yes no
paragraph. teams
NlMtg ppl) only ppl from my country!!! easier (shy)

TEST TAKING 261


STEP 4: THE STUDENT WRITES A SHORT OUTLINE. SHE STARTS WITH HER THESIS AND THEN
ORGANIZES HER IDEAS. SHE ADDS NEW IDEAS THAT OCCUR TO HER AS SHE WRITES.

1 . The Thesis: A smaller college is more attractive because of the smaller class size, availability
student
starts with
her thesis. ofadministraters to heIp students, and opportunities to meet people from diverse

backgrounds .
.
I .. Class size
2. She writes quick notes and
big univ too big; can’t taIk to profs or others; ex: bro s class abbreviations. She doesn' t write out
full sentences .

.
at UW compa re s m coII..= Reed, office hrs / help.
..
J A .
JI

.
II Admin,help
B. She expands her brainstorm with
big univ .= too busy; ex- visa prob delay brief examples and details in each
paragraph.
..
J A .
JI

.
III Mtg ppl

big univ .= lots of clubs: not good, shy ppl; only my country people

s m colI = events for all

STEPS 5 AND 6: THE STUDENT WRITES HER ESSAY AND THEN PROOFREADS. 1 . A simple
introduction gives
When a student chooses where to go to college, the size of the school is an important the writer's thesis
and her key points .
consideration. Most people are drawn to large, famous universities, but in my opinion, It is brief and to the
a point.
there are more advantages to attending smaller college. It is more attractive because of
A

the smaller class size, availability of administrators, and opportunities to meet people.
a classes. They
One disadvantage of large university is the size of freshman dassesHihey are often very
-
A A
2. The writer
large, and the students do not ever talk with the professor. Classes are usually lecture makes simple and
dean corrections.
style, and there is no chance to discuss the topics with others in the class. When my She knows from
her instructor's
older brother studied at the University of Washington, his first class had 800 students. feedback that
was she often forgets
The professor quite famous, but my brother only talked to teaching assistants. By articles and the
A
third person - s, so
contrast, most of the classes at Reed College include discussions between students and
she looks for that
their professors. Also, there is a chance to visit professors during their office hours and error carefully. She
sees other mistakes
get personal help if something is confusing. as well.

262 UNIT 8
t h6r6
/

Big universities have many people available to help students, but they are so many
students that it is often hard to get an appointment If you need to see an adviser or
someone to help with a visa problem, you have to wait to see them. In a small college,
s
on the other hand, an adviser keep drop-in office hours, so you can usually see an
A
students who
administrator the same day. This is really important for international students. Who may
A

need to have their visa question answered right away


it
Finally, although big schools may offer a lot of different clubs, if a person is shy, Amay
be hard to join new groups and meet people. Usually, on large campuses, international
students join the student group from their country, but they don't meet other people. In
smaller colleges, however, there are often events that are organized for all freshmen. The
3 3 3
organizer makeAsure everyone is invited and feelA welcome. It makeAit easier to meet new
people and make friends.
3. The conclusion restates
Overall, there are more advantages to a small college than to a huge university. the thesis and key points .
It is short. There is no
Getting an education at a small college would be preferable to me because of the new information.

smaller classes, administrative help, and ease of making friends.

6.1 Notice

Answer the questions below with a partner.

1 What does the student writer do first? 3 How much time does she spend planning?
2 What does the student writer do last? 4 How much time does she spend writing her
essay?

O Your Turn
Before you write, review the points in each section in this unit. The more you practice these
steps, the faster you will write and the better your timed writing will be.

TEST TAKING 263


6.2 Write
Choose one prompt from the list below and use the steps to write a timed essay.
Record the time you plan to spend in the chart below. At the end, record the time you
actually spent.
1 Journalists often report on large riots or protests in the streets. What effect does their
reporting have? Is the effect mostly positive or negative?
2 Stress has become a common problem in modern societies. People try to do too much and
also feel there are a lot of demands on their time. What are some solutions for this problem?
What can employers do to help? What can people do themselves?
3 "'All schools should include art and music throughout a child's education." Do you agree or
disagree with this statement?
Time planned Time spent
Total Time .
i 1 k i . i i J a a k I I i J k i .

STEP 1: Plan time. il I H I i l l

STEP 2: Analyze prompt. n i p

STEP 3: Brainstorm.
STEP 4: Write outline. P 1 -« P 1 P 1 P 1 P
-
I

STEP 5: Write essay. _ _


.
a a .s. a a
_ a a. A a a k

STEP 6: Proofread essay. I k I J J k L a a L a a k J J I k J. J 3 L E L J S L L J a k a. a a k a a L a L

264 UNIT 8
Write your essay here:
f c j i J i i a f c j i j i a .f c ^ j a a A
^ j i a k
^ j i i i i a i j a i i i j . j a i i i X j a B L j i j i i L .
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d . .
d i i i J i J d i i i J i 4 i i i h 4i J d i L J i J d i i i 4i 4 a B b X d a i L j i a . a i i i . i .i a
j i m . .
J i . K i i J . j a i i i . j j a i i .
i J B B f c i . j a f a i i i . j a b i i i . j j f i b L J a k i i L J j f a i i i j a k i i i . j a k i i .
i i j a b i i ..
1 j a h b J i B a B i i i i .J a B J i i . j i i i L ..
1 j i B i i i i J i i i .
i i j J B L J i .
i J h i i i

a. i .

P P l F T P P1 1 P P11 p T!i p p r p p p P T P P P1 P P B1 B P P B" B P T P » P1 S 1 P1 P P I P P1 B P 'P 1 1 B P H P P P 1' B P P1 P T S p r » p


- P I B B
- F I B B
- F I B B P i l l P I 1 1 P P I 1 1 P P P1 1 P i l l F I B
- F P S B B P P I B P P !1 P P I 1 P P P H S P P T1 P P B P P B P P B P B P P

.
fi I I B B i I.

F p r I B
- 4 P B * r F B r § P B: P B P1 P B P ! p a - B a p p a B
- p p s - B a p t a a p a p 1
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1' I

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- B X 4
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X X X X X X X X . X X X X . X X X X X . X X I X . X X I . X X I .. X X ;

L X X

p r a i P P B i P p r B P P p P p p a a F B
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. X I I X X X i I X X S X I X X X i x a a J< i x a a .

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p a a p a a p a a p a a a p a p a " p a
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b l X X .» x - S J
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a r 1

1 . X X I

I X . . X X x x .
I X X X X . X X X L x a x x X X L X X L X X L .
x a x xx x a x xx x a x . . .
x x a x x a x 1 . a. x .
a x 1 x x a x i X X B X J X X X L X X X X L X X X X L . . . x a a .
1 x a s .
1 x a x .
1 X X X I . X X X X X . X X . x a . i x x a x i x x a x 1 x. x a x i x x a x i x x a a i x x a a i a x a x i a a a x i a a a a a a a a s x 1 .. a x x x a x x ..

p T a f r1 a s p T a a a P T a s a p ra a p T a s e p T a a p r ra a r P T a a r p T I a p p a -a a a r a a a r a a a p a a p p a a a r a a B p T a a B p 'p a a H p ’p a a p p T a a B P B’ a a B p B '
a a B P B a a e B a a a T i l l B a a a B a a P B a a p B a p p B-a P p B a p p B a p p B a p p B a a p B a p p a a a p a a P p a a p p a a p p B a p p B a p p B a P p a p p p a p p a p p a p p

p B a F 'S r a a a a a P T P f P B
- P P f - P B - P B
- p a:
P B p a P B' f B 3
a a
1 p a a
1 p B 3
a p p P B: P S: P S: P B B " P P B B " P P B B " P S“ B a " P P B P P a p p P F a p p a - p s P P s a p s a p p s - a p s P P s a p s P P s s a v s

r a a - p +a 4 - - -- t a I +4 B -
4 a a +4 B afr +4 i B +4 B p f r +4 S p f r +4 S p f r +4 S 4 a a - - - --
p 4 l p a B p p 4 a s a S 4 - - - - - - - - - - = - - -- - - - - - -
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a » B 4 -- » P B 4 -- » p 4 4 - p p B 4 - B: a B a B 4 p +a a a P 4 4 4 a p 4 4 a p m m m p p p p P T - - p 4 - - ---
P +rl i 4 + P T 4

x x . x x . x x x . X X X . XX X . .
X X X . X X . X X .
X X . X X X .... X X.... 1. X... X X X.... X X ... X X .. X X X ... X X X . .
X X S X X X X S X X X X . 5 . X XX . .. X X X . .. .. X X XLX X X X L X X . . .
X I X X X L X X X X X X X X . . . ..
X X X X X X X . . .
L I X X X .I. X . X X i X X L L X X X L L X . x x a X L 1 . X X I I. .1 .
I X I X . .
I X

X X .
X X .
X X X X, X X X . X X X X X X X X . X X X X X . .
I X .
I X X I X X I . I . I . I . I . I.. I X I . . a . a . a . .a X

TEST TAKING 265


h 4 j i i f c j i j i i A 4 j i a A i J i i f c
^ j i i f c 4i j a i f c j i j i i i i j i i f c j i j i i i .
j j i i|
l i i j i i i i .
4 d i b J i 4 4 i . m . j i i l i A J i h A .
i d i i i J i j . d i i i j i 4i i i i b j i j j i b X J d i i i J i j a i L j i j a i L J i i .a
i .
i L i i i a i i i i J E i i i J J . i i k .
i i . i i i J d a i i i . j j a i i L i i B h i i i a h i i .
i i a h i i L i J K b i i a h i i L J j f a i i i j a h i i .
i j a b i i .L J i b b .. i j a k L d i i a b i i i J a i A i. .
J B i i L J J d i i f i J i i i i J i K L J i J i h i i i

B. I.

p r E p CP FT ! 1 F F E E P T
* P P 'P P P P P f P P P 1 [
P P E" E P P ! 1 P T P » P 1 S 1

.
fi I B u i . a B li : a a

p 4 Hi- p i F 1 P 1 p r 4 -4
E p E m r p E r § p i ; p E p i p E P ! p - p E 4 B -
i E E - p p p E
- P l - R E p 4 p 1 § + » 4 p § 4 P P » ! 4 p k 4 P P E"

’ I

+ : I* ii + i .
I 4 -
I 4 fa ft 4:. fa p 1 p .
a p P +4 P * - i p r S -a k a k a k a p a k 4 k

- - - fi a a. a a b .
i J a a - - a - .-
. fi a b fi a a - b .fi. a a - b a. a -- b .fi. a a - b a. - a - - a. a - a b a a --- --- a b a - - -a - -
a a b a - a
- .a. a - - a fi. a - a h b a a a a .b a a a . a. - -a .
> i
--- a a. a - a a a. a - - a
*
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- a a .. -
fi
- a .1. - - aa a a
- .a a a - a .a a a - a a.

- b fa

p r E i P P i i P P r E P P p R r ri a e P T l a e i r a p p a a p p a a P P T I a P P E 3
a a P P E 3
a a r T ra p 'p a a a p aa a p E 3
a p a a r a a p a a r a :
EBP a - a p T a a p P -r a a p p a a p p a a a
1 p r a a p r a a p r a a p i a a a p i a a a p i a a a p i a a B p r a a a p B a a p p B a a p p i a a p p i a a p p i a a p p i a a p p i a a p p i a a p p i a a p p i a a p
-
i B a B p p a a s p r a a s p a

b i b b l i .fi
— — —— b I b .f i. l
— I I .1 b b .1 . i
- b b i . 1 a - b i i a - .
a i a a . - .. a .a a h i a. a b i a a a -- a a a - b a a a b i d a a b a a a .
i a a a b a a a b a a a i d
-. i s d
-. i a d d . i s d d . i d d d
- i a a i a a a
- i a a a
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--

p r B -- r I - P P E -- P T E B P r f f T B - P E" E -- P E E P P E B B E" E S P P E E P E" S B P E" E B B P E E B P T T B P E* E3 E B P 'P E B E B 'P E - B P - P E E 1

- P 'P E E P P E E - P P E E E P P E E - P P E E P P E E - P P T E E P B E E - P P E E P P P E -- P ' E -- P P E E - P B E E P P P E E B P I' E -- P P E E P P E' E E - P E n E E P P I E E P P B E B P P E J E E P P B E B P P E E P P P E P P P E p P r p r

P E E - F E E S P E E P E B B P B - P B
— — P E" B - - P E" B -- -- P E" E: E B B E E' E - B E E' E - B P E' E - B E
- B E
- B E
- E P

— —— ——
B P E P P E P * E B P P
-- p i
-- P f E - E
-- E E
-- E
- r p E » E E E P • E E E P B E E E P *- B - P - P P S -- P E P + f« -- P!
- E P! B F + 4 - P + 4

I" * -I - i" J J .a
§
- a b 4. a a - b a. a a - - -
ba a a L a. a a - b a. a a . b a. a a - a a. a a a - b a. - -
a .b a. a - -. b a. a -- .a
- - a- - - - --
a b a a a a s a B b a .a - b b .b a - b b .b a
- b k a. a - b a4 .. a a a. a - b a 4. a - b k a a . f i i b 4 a - b i .4 a - +a - S J
- E J
- 4
-- - 4 a a .a 4 -- a .1. a - a 4
-- - a a a. - a a a.
- a a a . -- k ». - -+ — a .a aaa a .a a

a r 1

a. -- 1

..
l 1
- . . . 1 a 1 a . a a . a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a 1 .. a a a a a a a ..

P T B B T a rx H E P T 'I B P P T E H H P T E S I T T 1 B P P T E S P F T B S E P T E B P P E^ E B P P E E B P E E B P E B P P E E B P E E B P E' E E B P T E E B P E" E E B P T 1 E E r E E


— B T E E E B P E E E B E E S B T E B B E E B E 1 E P P E E S P E E E B T E P P E E P P E E P P E E P P E E B P E E P P E E P P E E P P E E P P E B P P E E P P E E P P E S P P E P P P E P P E P P E P P

F 'S E F '1 F '5 E B E B P 'P P E" P *P r p p - p v P T P E: P B P E P B: r EC E1 E P E E 1


P E’ E P P P E: P ! P ! P E' E B P P E E

— — P P E' E P P E’ E P P P E P P E P P
-- - P P P P P E
-- P f
-- P !
- P P S E P P S
- P P S
- P P - P P E - P P E
-- P "I

r B B
- r ,i" B 4 - p E -i - t" - 4 -
4 4 a 4" 4 B a f r +4 9 B +4 S p f r +4 S p f r
-
4 4 S p f r 4" 4 S 4 4 » - P 4
—- S p 4-- » p p 4 E B r S 4 - - - - - - - - - - = - - -- - - -
4 p t 4 i » E 4 s § 4 4 f' E 4 Ba p 4 B » 4 E p
-- - -- -
»" i 4 !4 r i 4 p p 4' 4
- p p E 4 --- a » 4 4
-- » P E 4 -- » p 4 4
- p p E 4 - E: E
— E E - E 4 - P 4 E E P P 4 E E P P 4 E E P a
- a P P P P P T - - p 4 - --P 4 1 - -+ -
P 4 P T E

a .b a a a b a. a a. a a. a d u a a a a a a a a b a b b . b a a
-- a a - b a a - i .a i . a. a -a a a a i a a i
- a a - b i a
- i a
- i a -a i a i a i a a a a a -a - - -- a

P 1' E E E P I B E 1 I T1 E E P E" E E B P E" E B B P E" ' B B P '1 B B P E" E B B P E" E B B rT E B B P '1" E B B T E E B P P E E B P r E E B P E E 3


B P E E B P E B B P E B B P E
- B P E B B P E B B P E" E B B P E' E B B P E E B P P E E B P P E E B P P B S P P B B B P P E B P P E E B P I E B B P I E B
- P I E E B P P E E B P I E E B P I E B B P I E B B P P E B B P P E B P P I E B P P I E B P P I E B P P I E B P P I E P P P I E P P P "R E P P T

266 UNIT 8
h 4 j i i f c j i j i i A 4 j i a A i J i i f c
^ j i i f c 4i j a i i i j i j i i i i j i i f c j i j i i i .
j j i i |
l j . j i i i i .
4 d i b J i 4 . j i m . j i i l i A J i h A .
i d i i i J i j . d i i i j i 4i i i i b j i j j i b X J d i i i J i j a i L j i j a i L J i i i .a .
i L i i i a i i i i J E i i i J J i i L ii . . . i i i J d a i i i . j j a i i L i i B h i i i a h i i .
i i a h i i L i J K b i i a h i i L J i f a i i i j a h i i i . j a b i i .L J i b b i .. j a k L d i i a b i i J .J . .
a i A i J B i i L J J d i i f i J i i i i J i K L J i J i h i i i

..
B I

P P I1 P CP P P [
P P a B p Ti s p pr P P T P f P P P1 P P ! B P PI"! P T P » ri s 1 P1 p :P 1 P S' 1 p 'p 1 1 B P H P P P I'
" P P * 1 p a a p p »' B p P P I' B
- E P I' B B H P I' B B P i l l P H 1 P P I 1 1 P P P 1 1 P I B P I B
" P P I B B P P I B P P f B P P ! B P P I B P P f P P B P P B P P P B P P

.
fi I Bui .

r P B
- I B" § P B * P P B P B
- P B: P B P B P B P ! P
-
r B B B P B B
- P P ! B - - P
--
I | B P B P B IB - § B P +B P P » B P P »-- I P P MP

1' I

+ : L
+ B: .
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IJ -
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4 B 4 . B B A 4 . 4 B B B 4 4 B ..
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ft 4 4
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1 4 4 B 4 4. 4 4 .
B I 4 4 4 B I 4 4 B I 3 4 4 4 . . 4 1

4 k

p r a i P Pii P P r i P r P P r a B p T1 a p p 'r a a p p
-
a a a P p T a a p p
-
a a a P P aa a a B T r 1 a r T r a P -
a a a a p aa a p ia a p a a p a a p a a p ae P a B p T a a p r a a p p a a p p
-
a a a p r a a p r a a p r B B a r a a B B r a a B B r a a a B r a a B a a* a a a p i a a p p i a a p p i a a E p i a a p p
-
a a a p p a a a p p a a a p r a a a p r a a a p *r a a a p r i a p p p a s p r a a s p a

.
i i I 4 4 B i I 4 4 S B I 4 4 4 I a B .
4 I 4 B B .

p r a a r i a a p 'p a P r a
- pppa a r a a - - P Pr a
- p a B P p a a p
-
a a B P T a a p
-
a a a p as a a ppa a a p r a a- B r a* a a a - p
- -
a a a a r a a a a 1 p a P a a 1

- a p a* a a p p a a p r a a a p p a a B a p a a a p p a a s p
-
r a a a p r a a p r a a P P P a a p r a r r a a - p a
- F p r a a P r r a r r a
- p r a a a - - p a n a a p p i a a p p i a p p r a j a B p r i a a p p a a p p p a p p p a p p p p P T

p a a p a a a p a a p a a a p B P B
- - pa
" B
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- * s p a- - a a :
B s a a, a " p a a, a
- p p a' a " p a P a P a - a p B B P +B B P P +B B P S a a p p P i -- p
* a
- a
- p s a a - p p p a a p p f a a P p ia a- P r i -- a a p p p f P S a p +fi p a p p s B p +a - p +a

I-*- I
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-
1 4 4 4 k 4 - 4 4 a ..
a 4 4 4 . .
4 4 4 4 . . .
4 4 4 4 44.4 4 . 4 4 . . . .. 8 44 8 4 . . 4 4 a .. ....
4 4 .
4 4 4 .. 4 4 . . . . . .. -
a 4 4 a 4 4 a 44 a B 4 4 . 4 . B 4 4 . 4 . .
4 4 J 4 . 4 4 4 4 . . 4 4
^ 4 . 8 4 .
4 4 . 4 4 4 .4.L .
§ 4 4 . . .^
ft k 4 . 4 1 .^ . 4 4 4 . f -
J
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-- 4 - 4 4 4 . 4 . .
4 4 . 1 4 . 4 a
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4 4 4 a 4 4 4 .
4 4 4 4 4 4

r 1

1 . 4 4 1

. .
I 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 . 4 4 8 4 4 B 4 4 4 8 4 4 8 4 4 8 4 .
4 B 4 4 4 4 B 4 4 4 4 B 4 . . 3 4 3 4 .
4 8 LI4 4 4 4 1 4 4 8 4 I 4 4 8 4 4 4 4 B 4 . . ». 4 .
4 8 4 4 4 4 8 L 4 4 8 4 4 4 8 4 4 4 8 4 4 4 8 4 4 4 8 4 4 . 4 4 . 4 4 . I J 4 4 4 I J 4 4 4 I J 4 J 4 l 4 4 4 8 l 4 4 4 a i 4 4 a a i 4 4 a 4 l 4 4 a 4 l 4 a a a a a a a a 4 4 . a s 4 4 4 8 4 .

p r 1 P P r 1 1 = p T1 a p T1 s p p r 1 a B P T a s P p r i a r r r a a p p ri a p p Ti a p T r 1 a p p a a a r a a a p a a p p a a a r a a s p r a i a p p a i B i1 T i p p r a a i i p i a
- p r i p p p r i a i p a a a p a a a a a a a a a a a P a a a P a a p P -
a a a p a a p p a a p p a a p p a a a p a a p p a a p p a a P r a a p p a B P P a a p p a a p p a a P r a p p r a r p a r p a p p

r a a r a p a a a a a p a - p f p
-
a r :
P P :
P -
a r a - r a : p a p a p a - r ac p a p a a 1 p a a S' p p a
:
P ! P ! r a a
- p p a a
- p p a a - p r a a
- p p a
- p a
- p p p p r S' a - r s P S P P ! a p p s - p p s P P p p a p p a B P V 9

p a a
- r H - r a i - - t- - 3 M S +! B s fr +i 9 B +4 S + S p f r +4 S r f r +4 S i a a - +- - --
p ! p a s p p a a S r i'
-
S - * - - - - - - - - - = -- - - - - - -
s ia i» a a s § a a a a a B a a a E » a a P » a a- - !4 a a a - p p a'
-* - p p a a
- - »-
a a a
-- » p a a
- »- P «
' a
- p p a a
- a a :
a a a a
- - p i a a p p i a a s
- - p S a a p m m m p p r p p T
" P + " P +
* - P ++ p T a

. .. .
> 4 4 4 4 . 4 4 4 . 4 4 4 . .
4 4 4 . 4 4 . 4 4 .
4 4 . 4 4 4 .... 4.... 4 4 4
-.. 4 4 4 .... 4 4 ... .. 4 4 4 4 4 ... 4 4 4 . 4 ... ... .. 4 4 <4 4 . 4 4 4 ... 4 4 4 ... .. 4 4 4 k 4 .. 4 4 4 .. 4 .
1 4 .. 4 .
1 4 4 . 4 4 4 ... .. 1 4 4 4 4 4 . 4 4 4 . 4 4 .
4 4 . 4 4 1 4 4 4 4 4 4 . 4 4 4 . 4 4 4: B 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 .. 4 1 ..4 4 ..4 4 .. 4 4

4 4 4 .
4 4 4 4a 4 .
4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 4 . 4 4 4 4 4 . .
I 4 .
I 4 4 I 4 4 I 4 I 4 I 4 I 4 I
- ..
I I 4 I . - 1 . 1 . fi . 4 4

TEST TAKING 267


i

..
B I

r r 9 p T p p
[
p p 9 9 p 'p 9 p P 'P p P P p 'p p p pi [
p p v 9 p p v 9 P T P » P1 S 1

.
fi I Bui . a B li : j a a

p + Hi pi pi pi p r + 9
- § p 9 m
r p 9 r § pi;
p 9 pi pi P ! p 9 p 1 § « § - f p §
- s p p » -
i p p » -
i P P T

’ I

+ : ii + i .
I
-
IJ -
I4 fa .
ft 4: i" "f fa p 1 p s« p P +* P
* - i p r
*-
a
*-
a
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Si
* a p a - a

k X fa fa m m m a a k x fa a ii fa a a fa .
a a fa fa a a a fa fa fa a a u fa a a
- a > » .
a a a fa fa .
a a a
- . a a a fa fa .
a a a fa
* a . a fa fa a a fa fa a . a fa fa a.a a fa fa .
a a a k fa .
a a a a a . .. a a a .«. a - h a fa a fa * fa a a aa a . a aaa
- a a a
-- a a a a . - a i a .- a aaa a aaa
- a a a a . - k a fa a fa aaa a fa a a . a .
i a a a a aa. a a .
a aa a a aa a . a a fa i a . a fa i a a a i a a a a . fa fa

a a fa

p r !i P Pii P P r 9 P P p R P T a a B p Tl a e ir a p rv a a p p a a P P T a a P P aa a a P P an a a P T r a a p 'p a a a p aa a a p aa a a p a a a p a a a r a a a r a a p a
- a p T a a p p
-r a a p p a a p p a a a
1 p r a a p r a a p r i a B p p

k i I B f a i l B I B f a J a i B f a J I B I f a I f i fa fa f a j fa a k fa fa a k fa fa a k fa fa a i fa fa i a a a i i fa a a a i fa a a i fa a .
a i i fa a fa .

p r a a r i a a P P a
-- p p a a p p p a a P a* a a p P T a a
- p a P p a a a -
a a H P
-
a a a p
-
a a a p as a a p p a a a p T T B P 9* 9 9
- a - -a
p p a a p 9* 9 a a p a p a
-a - a -
P P B a p P B B
- p p a a a p p a a
- p p a a p p p a a
- p p a 1
a a p l a a
- p p a a P P p a
-- p r a
-- p r a a
- p i a a p p p a a p p r a
-- p r a a p p n r a a
- p a n a a p p i a a p p i a p p p a j a H P P i a a p p a a p p p a p p p a p p p p P T

p a a
- r a a a p a a p a a R p e
- p s
- -- - --
p a R p a a
- - -- -p a 9 a a B a a
,a
- p p a, a
- p p a' a
- p a
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-- P P B
-- P * a 9 p p
-- P i
-- p s a p p a
- B ? a - p a - p p p a a p p f a a P p ia a- P p
-i- a a p
- p p f
-- p a p + i« -- p s
- B P S a p +a - p +a

§
-« §
- » J J a
- fa f a a4 . fa fa . . . .
fa fa fa fa f a f a fa a a L fa a a . . . . .
fa fa a a fa 4 a a a § .
4 a a a . fa fa . . .
a a fa fan .. . -fa x4 fa a fa fa . . . . - .. -
a fa f a 4 a fa fa a fa fa a BfaXfa
- .
a i i fafa
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fafa fafa
- fakfa .4 — a fa 4 a .a fa 4 a .a fa 4 a.
— ( § .44 — .4 |i | fa
— .
a | 4 fa
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a 1 4 ..
a 1 4
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-- . a .. fa 1 a a fa x . f a X 1 . - - » - -+ . § f a x fa x fa fa X fa

a r 1

.
1 a a 1

..
I 1
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I fa .
I fa fa a a fa a a fa a a fa a a fa a a fa a a fa a fa fa a fa 1 .. fa s fa J a a fa ..

p T a = T a p T a i R T i B B r T i i B r r 'i B B r r i B i r r i i E r r i B e r T i i B T T i i B T r i i r 11 B P 9 l B P T l S B P T r B B P T B S B P T I I B P T I S B P T l B B P T I B B T1B B 1B S B 1B B B 11 P P 1B 5 P 1B P P T B P P p a r r 1B P P 1B P P 1B B P 1B P P B B P P B B P P 1B P P B B P P B B P P B B P P B 1P P 9 P T T 9 P P 9 P P 9 P P

r 'f 9 r 'i r 9 9 9 9 9 P T P f P 9
- P p r p 9
- p 9
- P 9: P 9 P 9 P 9' r 9c 9" 9 R 9' 9 P 9’ 9 S' P P 9: P ! P ! P 9 9

— — — —
P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P S" 9 9 P P 9
- P 9 P P
-- P P
- P P T 9
-- P - P P 1
— P P S 9 P P S
- P P S
- P P
- P P S
- P P S 9 P V !

p 9 9
- f H - P 9 --
I M S +* - S = h+4 S p p +9 5 ? --
H 5 S r H S S r H 5 S -- -- 9: 9
— 9 9
- 9 9
- --P i 1 9 P P i 9 9 P P -« 9 9 P fa .. - P P
- P P P T
- P + - »- -
P +r P ++ P T 9

fa

..
a 1 fa a fa .
a fa fa f a f a a a a x .
fa a f a x a f a: ..
a f a ..
1 fa a fa .
a fa ..
a a ..
a a fa .
a x f a a x . a fa . a a .
1 f a .
1 f a a 1 . f a a a .
1 .
a 1 fa .
1 a a X fa a a f a a a fa . a a fa a a a a a .
1 fa . -a
a a .-

.a fa .
fa fa .
fa fa fa fa: fa .
fa fa fa fa fa a fa a a a . fa fa a fa fa . a. f a .
a f a fa a f a fa a f a a f a a f a a f a a . a.. a f a a . a
- a . a . a . .a fa

268 UNIT 8
h 4 j i i f c j i j i i A 4 j i a A i J i i f c
^ j i i f c 4i j a i i i j i j i i i i j i i f c j i j i i i .
j j i i |
l j . j i i i i .
4 d i b J i 4 . j i m . j i i l i A J i h A .
i d i i i J i j . d i i i j i 4i i i i b j i j j i b X J d i i i J i j a i L j i j a i L J i i i .a .
i L i i i a i i i i J E i i i J J i i L ii . . . i i i J d a i i i . j j a i i L i i B h i i i a h i i .
i i a h i i L i J K b i i a h i i L J i f a i i i j a h i i i . j a b i i .L J i b b i .. j a k L d i i a b i i J .J . .
a i A i J B i i L J J d i i f i J i i i i J i K L J i J i h i i i

..
B I

r r 9 p x p x p x 9 a p x 9 p P 'P p P P p x p p pi [
p p x 9 p p x 9 P T P » P1 S 1

.
fi I B u i . a B li : j a a

p x Hi xi xi xi p r I x 4 p 9 m p p x r x pi;
p 9 pi p 9 P ! p 9 p 1 § x ! 4 p +4 p r +4 4 p +4 P P X

’ I

+ : ii + B: .
I
-
IJ -
I4 fa .
ft 4: i" "f fa p 1 p s« p P +4 P
* - i p r
*-
a
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a
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*4

fa X fa fa m m m a a fa x 4 a » k a a . « .
i a a fa ..
a a a a fa a x a a II aa a . a > » .
a a a k fa .
a a a
- a a » a fa A .
a a a * a . . . a fa a a a .a. a . a fa A a.a a fa fa . .
a a a k .
aa a a a a . .. a a a a a .. b fa aa fa a a « a aa a . a .
a a a a fa a.a -. fa .
a a a a a .- a a .a a .
a a fa fa
- . - ..
a a a fa aa fa .
a a a a fa a a . k .
a a a a a a a.. a a ..
a a a a a fa a a . a a fa .
a a . a fa aa
- a a . a a a fa a . -- fa fa: m m fa a a a a a a fa .
a a a fa fa .a.

a fa fa

p r 9 i P p ii P r r 9 am am a a m a a ir a a m a p p a a P P X a a P P aa a a a T rl a r x x a E x x n a p aa a p aa a p a a p a a p a a p a p a
- a p x a a a p x a a p p x 9 a p p a a a
1 p p a a p r a a r r a B p a a B p a a e p a a a r a a a -
p a a a p i a a e p i a a a p i a a e p i a a r r a a a r - p a a a r p a a a p p a a a r p a a p p a a a r p i a p p p a p p p a a p p a

.
a a fa k .
a a
_ k k . .
a a k k ,a .. a a k ..
a 1 a a k ..
a a a a fa a. a a a fa a a a fa . . ...
a a a a a .a a fa fa .
a a . .
a a a a a fa fa a a a a a a a a fa a a a a a . . . a a a a . a a a a . a a a a . a a a a a .. a a a .. B f i a a . a a a a . a a a a . a a a a a a a f a a a a a f a a a a a f a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a i a a a f a B a a a f a i a a a B i B a a a f a B a a a f a B a a a f a i a a f a k a a a a f a a a a a a a a i i a a a k a a a k i a a a aa a a a .

r r I
-- P 'l B P 'P I
- " P P B E P P 9
" " f T l B P T1
- P1 9 B X I B B T B B T1 B B T B B B T1 P P 1 B B B 'P B 1
B E X 9" 9 B P ‘P T B B E X 9 9 B P B P T B
- P T B B B P1B
- B P 9 9 B B P 9 9
- P T B B B P T B
- B P T B B I f
-- B P B 1 B P P B B
- P P 9
-- P i' 9 9
- P B 9 9 P P i' 9 9 P P i' 9
-- P i' 9 9 P P X 9 9
- P X 9 9 P P B 9 9 P P i 9 P P P X 9 E P P i 9 9 P P 9 9 P P P 9 B P P B B P P B P

P 1 9 B I B B B I B P1 9 B P B
- P B
- - - -
P X B P X 9 P X X 9
- 9 9 B e P X 9
- P P X 9
- E P X 9
- B 9
- P 9
- P B B P 9 B P +9 9 P P +9 B P S 9 9 P P p i
-- p s
- B B ! B B r »
-- - -
» f P 1
-- --- P f B r 9
- p B P f
- p B B +fi P s B P B B B +4 - B +4

I I

+* § » J J .. .
* a a fa 4 a a a a a J a .. . fa x fa a ... a a a a a fa a a a . ... a a a a fa fa .. a
4 a
- aa « a fa xa . . fa fa xx fa
-. - . fa j fa xa . - a a.
a fa . - xa a f a f a x a . f c f a x a . f a f a x a . f a k a .a.fafa ^ a . fa fa 4 - .. .. . fa a k ua . L 14 a . fa a . 4 a . f -
J
- 9 J
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-- 4 - «. .. - .
fa 1 4 k 1 a.. - fc 4
-- . k k .
a fa fa fa x .. . fa X a n - -+ . k .a fa xa fa xa

a r 1

.
a a k a

.. -
l 1 . . . .
1 a I: a .
1 a a a a a a a a a a a a a a a k a a k a a k a a k 1 .. a a k a a a k ..

p T B P P T a r x 9 B I! X 9 B E P X 9 B B P X 9 B E P X 9 B B P X 9 B P P X 9 B E T X l 9 E V X 9 B B 'P X 9 P 1B 5 P 9 B P P 9 9 B P B I B r T B B B r 'P B B B I' T B B S r T B B B n B


- B r i B P B r i B B B 1B S P 1B B B 1B B B 1B P B 1B B B 1B B B T B P P 1B P P 1B P P 9 9 P P 9 9 B P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 B P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 9 P P 9 P P P 9 P P 9 P P 9 T P

X 'S 9 X '1 X 9 9 9 9 9 P X P X P X r X X X X X X P 9: X 9 X 9 X 9' X 9 C


X 9 P 9' 9 P 9’ 9 P P P 9: P ! P ! P 9 9
" P P 9 9 " P P 9 9 " P P 9 9 9 P P 9
- P 9 P P P X P S' 9
- P S B P S B P S B B P S
- B P S P P B
- B P S
- P X 9
- B P 9

+4 4 4 f H - X 9 --
I +4 B -
4 9 9 4" 4 B a f r 4" 4 9 B +4 B p f r +4 S p f r +4 S p f r 4" 4 S 4H t 4' r 41 " § r t T
^ s fI4
^ p 1 4 i
^t4 8
^r 4 8 r t 4 s
^t i
^ TM i
^t4 P r t 4 p p t 4 p r ii
^!i 4 ^ p t 4
^H4 p r t 4 9: 9
— 9 9
- 9 9
- - P 4 9 9 B P 4 9 9 B P 4 9 9 P m m m P P P P P X
- - - - - - -+ -
p 4 P 4 i P 4 P X 9

.. a a a ..
a a ..
a a .
a a a fa fa x .
fa fa fa x fa fa: ..
a fa ..
a fa . fa .
a fa ..
a a a.. a .a .
a X fa ..
a a .
a a . fa .
a .a
a .
a fa fa a. fa fa a .a fa .
a fa .
a fa fa nfa fa . a.
a fa fa .a. fa . k k f a f a f a k k : .a.
a fa ..
a fa fa fa fa: fa .
a a fa fa fa .
a a .
a fa . -a
a
-
a. a

.a fa .
fa fa .
fa fa fa fa . fa .
fa fa a fa fa fa fa .
a .
a .
a . fa fa .
a fa fa . I: fa la fa fa I fa fa I fa I fa I fa I fa I
- .-
I I fa I
_ - a . a . a
-a fa

TEST TAKING 269


SELF-EDITING REVIEW
1 ACADEMIC ESSAYS PSYCHOLOGY: CONSUMER BEHAVIOR

Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

T Check one last time that your thesis statement is clear and answers
the writing prompt.

2 Have you cited your sources sothat your readers will know where
your evidence comes from? Underline all your citations to make
sure.

3 If you use the exact words from a source, make sure you put the
words in quotes and cite the source. Try to use your own words
whenever possible (but still cite the source).

4 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and Academic


Collocations you used. Make sure you used at least two words and
one collocation.

5 Underline gerunds and infinitives and make sure you avoided any
mistakes.

6 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the wrong
verb tense or form of the verb, missing a /an and the, or errors in
using commas.
Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

l Check one last time that your theme or thesis statement is clear
and answers the writing prompt.

2 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and phrases you used.


Make sure you used at least two words and one phrase.

3 Underline any past perfect, past progressive, and past perfect


progressive verb forms and make sure you avoided any mistakes.

4 Check sentences that use parallel structure. Are they correct ?

5 Underline sentences in your essay that are written using the


different sentence varieties you learned about in this unit.

6 Make sure you have at least one quotation. Is it punctuated


correctly?

7 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the wrong
verb tense or form of the verb, missing a / an and the, or errors in
using commas.

271
3 CAUSE AND EFFECT ESSAYS SOCIOLOGY: EEFECTS OF GEOGRAPHIC MOBILITY

Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

T Check one last time that your thesis statement is clear and answers the
writing prompt.

2 If you did research, check that you included sources in your essay and
you have included a Works Cited. See page 39 for more information.

3 If you paraphrased sources, check (or have a partner check) that you
have not plagiarized your original sources. If working with a partner,
show your partner your original sources and notes.

4 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and Academic Collocations


you used. Make sure you used at least two words and one collocation.

5 Circle places where you used the language of cause and effect. Make
sure this happens in every paragraph of your essay.

6 Underline verbs in the present perfect or present perfect progressive


and make sure you avoided any mistakes.

7 Read your essay one last time to make sure you do not have any
fragments, run-on sentences, or comma splices.

8 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the wrong
verb tense or form of the verb, missing a / an and the, or errors in using
commas.
4 COMPARISON AND CONTRAST ESSAYS ANTHROPOLOGY: FOOD AND CULTURE

Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

T Check one last time that your thesis statement is clear and answers the
writing prompt.

2 If you did research, check that you included sources in your essay and
you have included a Works Cited. See page 39 for more information.

3 If you paraphrased sources, check (or have a partner check) that you
have not plagiarized your original sources. If working with a partner,
show your partner your original sources and notes.

4 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and phrases you used. Make
sure you used at least two words and one phrase.

5 Underline any appositives that you used and make sure that you have
avoided any mistakes.

6 Circle any vocabulary that you used for showing similarities and
differences.

7 Draw an arrow in the margins pointed at any of the techniques you


used for coherence.

8 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the wrong
verb tense or form of the verb, missing a/ an and the, or errors in using
commas.
5 PROBLEM- SOLUTION ESSAYS PUBLIC HEALTH: MEDIA

Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

T Check one last time that your thesis statement is clear and answers
the writing prompt.

2 If you did research, check that you have relied on up-to -date
information and cited all your sources. See page 173 for more
information.

3 Make sure that you acknowledge and refute at least one alternative
solution to show your solution is the best one.

4 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and Academic


Collocations you used. Make sure you used at least two words and
one collocation.

5 Underline the it constructions and make sure you avoided any


mistakes.

6 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the wrong
verb tense or form of the verb, missing a /an and the, or errors in
using commas.

274
Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

T Check one last time that your thesis is clear.

2 If you did research, check that you included sources in your essay
and you have included a Works Cited section. See page 39 for
more information.

3 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and phrases you used.


Make sure you used at least two words and one phrase.

4 Make sure you have used the strategies for summarizing that were
presented in this unit.

5 Underline any noun clauses that you have written, and make sure
that you have avoided any mistakes.

6 Double underline the use of this + noun and pronouns to avoid


overusing key words.

7 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the wrong
verb tense or form of the verb, missing a /an and the, or errors in
using commas.
7 ARGUMENTATIVE ESSAYS SOCIOLOGY: SOCIAL INTERACTION

Self- Editing: Review Your Work Completed

T Check one last time that your thesis statement is clear and
answers the writing prompt.

2 If you did research, check that you have cited all your sources,
including non-textual ones. See pages 39 and 246 for more
information.

3 Underline the Academic Vocabulary words and Academic


Collocations you used. Make sure you used at least two words
and one collocation.

4 Underline the noun phrases and make sure you avoided any
mistakes. Try to reduce relative clauses to - ing and -ed phrases
and replace long verb phrases with shorter noun phrases where
you can.

5 Look for mistakes that you typically make, such as using the
wrong verb tense or form of the verb, missing a/ an and the, or
errors in using commas.
SOURCES
The following sources were consulted during the development o/ Final Draft Student's Book 4.

UNIT i
Carlson, Nicholas, " This Post Has All the Black Friday Stats You Need to Sound Smart in Meetings ”
Business Insider Business Insider, 3 Dec 2013 Web 15 Mar 2015 , , , , *

Levin, Adam “ The 4- Letter Word That Can Ruin Your Credit ” Huffington Post Huffington Post ,
, *

27 Feb 2014 Web 15 Mar 2015


, , , , *

"
Mobile Technology Fact Sheet” Pew Research Center Pew Research Center, n .d Web 15 Mar 2015 , , , , *

Sontag, Susan The Volcano Lover: A Romance . New York ; Picador, 1992. Print
, ,

Yarrow, Kit "Why Clearance Sales Are Psychologically Trresistable ” ' Psychology Today Psychology Today
, , *

17 Jan . 2013 Web 15 Mar 2015 , * , ,

UNIT 2
Albert Einstein: Biography” Bio A &E Television Networks, 2015 Web 15 Mar 2015
"
* , , * ,

"Austral ias Immigration History ” About Waves of Migration, Australian National Maritime Museum, ,

2015. Web 15 Mar 2015 , * *

"Chinese Exclusion Act ” Wikipedia. Wikipedia , n .d Web 15 Mar. 2015.


, , *

Ferguson, Craig American on Purpose: The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot New York:
*

Harper, 2009. Print *

"Immigration to Australia ” Wikipedia. Wikipedia , n d. Web. 15 Mar 2015. , ,

" The
Joss House at Weaverville ” History and HeritageCalifornia State Parks' 150th Anniversary
, , *

California Dept of Parks and Recreation, n .d Web 15 Mar 2015


, * * , ,

"Marie Bashir*” Wikipedia , Wikipedia, n.d Web. 15 Mar. 2015.


,

"
Nicholas Shehadie ” Wikipedia. Wikipedia , n.d Web. 15 Mar. 2015
, , *

UNIT 3
Bochner, Stephen . "Culture Shock Due to Contact with Unfamiliar Cultures ” Online Headings in
Psychology and Culture 8.1 ( 2003 ): n. pag. Web 15 Mar 2015 * , ,

"Chinas Overseas Population: Leveraging a Critical Asset ” Sign of the Times GreaterPacific , , ,

Greater Pacific Capital, Sept 2013 Web. 15 Mar. 2015. * *

Frighetto, Jennifer, and Elizabeth Wolf. "Global Consumers More Likely to Buy New Products from
Familiar Brands ” Nielsen, Nielsen Company, 22 Jan 2013. Web 15 Mar 2015. , * ,

"
The Growing U.S. Hispanic Population : Impact on the U.S Economy and Business ” Briefing * ,

US. Dept of State. Foreign Press Center, New York, 24 May 2012 Web Transcript 15 Mar. 2015.
, * * *

Guisepi, R A „ ed "The Story of Hispanics in the Americas.” The Americas: HispanicsT International
, ,

World History Project History World International, n .d Web. 15 Mar 2015


* , * *

Harris, Amy. " The History of Airline Industry ” Travel Tips. USA Today USA Today, n d . Web * , *

1 Dec 2013.
*
Huesca , Robert. “ How Facebook Gan Ruin Study Abroad '' Commentary Chronical of Higher Education,
Chronicle of Higher Education, 14 Jan . 2013. Web. 1 Dec. 2013.

Jimenez - Castellanos, Oscar, Mary Carol Combs, David Martinez, and Laura Gomez. English Language
Learners: Whats at Stake for Arizona? Arizona State U, Morrison Institute for Public Policy, Mar. 2013.
Web. 15 Mar. 2015.
"Migration: A World on the Move ” Topic. UNFPA.org. United Nations Population Fund , n.d. Web.
15 Mar. 2015.

Ncube, Mthuli. “ Urbanization of Africa ” AFDB . org. African Development Bank Group, 2012. Web.
15 Mar. 2015.

“Open Doors 2013: International Students in the United States and Study Abroad by American Students
Are at All -Time High .” Press Release. Open Doors. Institute of International Education, 11 Nov. 2013.
Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

“ The Outs and Ins of Rural Migration .” Fact Sheet. The Center for Rural Pennsylvania. Center for
Rural Pennsylvania , 2007. Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

Redden , Elizabeth . “ International Study Up.” Inside Higher Ed . Inside Higher Ed , 11 Nov. 2013. Web.
1 Dec. 2013.

“Skype Grows FY Revenues 20 %, Reaches 663 min Users.” Telecompaper.com. Telecom.paper, 8 Mar. 2011.
Web. 1 Dec. 2013.

Walsh , Bryan. “Urban Planet: How Growing Cities Will Wreck the Environment Unless We Build
Them Right . Time. Time Inc., 18 Sept. 2012. Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

UNIT 4
Farb, Peter, and George J. Armelagos. Consuming Passions: The Anthropology of Eating.
Boston: Houghton, 1980. Print.

Greenberg, Elizabeth . "Chameleon: How Chinese Food Has Adapted to Its Surroundings Worldwide.”
China Insight. China Insight , 29 June 2010. Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

Lee, Jennifer 8. The Fortune Cookie Chronicles: Adventures in the World of Chinese Food.
New York: Hachette, 2008. Print.

Waters, Alice. Alice Waters Says the Future of Food Is Sustainable and Locally Sourced .” WSJ.com.
Wall Street Journal, 7 July 2014. Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

UNIT 5
“Caregiving.” FCA. Family Caregiver Alliance, 21 Jan. 2014. Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

Lenhart , Amanda , et aL “ Teens, Kindness and Cruelty on Social Network Sites: How American
Teens Navigate the New World of Digital Citizenship.” Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center,
9 Nov. 2011. Web. 15 Mar. 2015.

278
UNIT 6
Head, Alison J , and Michael B Eisenberg "College Students Eager to Learn but Need Help Negotiating
* * ,

Information Overload ” Seattle Times Seattle Times, 3 June 2011. Web 15 Mar 2015.
* , ,

Tim Berners - Lee: Web Inventor and Founding Director of the World Wide Web Foundation ”
"Sir ,

About . Webfoundation.org World Wide Web Foundation, n d Web 15 Mar. 2015


, , , * ,

UNIT 7
"Advantages for Girls ” Singlesexschools. org National Association for Single Sex Public Education
, *

( NASSPE ) , n d Web 15 Mar 2015


, , , , ,

Ariga , Atsunori, and Alejandro Lleras " Brief and Rare Mental 'Breaks ' Keep You Focused : Deactivation
,

and Reactivation of Task Goals Preempt Vigilance Decrements ” Cognition 118 3 (Mar. 2011 ) : , ,

439-43 Print
, *

"Businesses Increase Revenue with Social Media ” Phys .org Phys org, 25 Mar 2013 Web 15 Mar 2015.
, * , , * ,

Chandler, David L "Study: Online Classes Really Do Work ' MIT News. MIT News, 24 Sept 2014
, , ,

Web 15 Mar 2015


, * *

"Chapter 5: Balancing Work and Family,” On Pay Gap> Millennial Women Near Parity — For Now.
Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center, 11 Dec 2013 Web 15 Mar 2015 , , * , ,

Lenhart, Amanda , and Maeve Duggan "Couples, the Internet , and Social Media: The Main Report ”
, ,

Pew Research Center. Pew Research Center, 11 Feb 2014 Web 9 Aug 2014 , , * * ,
INDEX
Words that are part of the Academic Word List are noted with an © in this index.

A B
academic essays, 1 3 46— background information, 24-27, 122, 154,
cluster diagrams, 14-15, 41 42 — 190-191, 224-226
essay structure, 24-31
block organization, 122-124
grammar, 35-38

plagiarism, 39 40 body paragraph, 24, 28-31, 62-65, 92,
research, 43 125-126, 154-160, 190, 224, 228, 230-231
self -editing review, 270 brainstorming, review and practice, 254-256
vocabulary and collocations, 16-1 7 graphic organizers:
writing skills, 32-34 cause-effect graphic organizers, 80-81,
106-107
academic integrity pledge, 39
charts: argumentative, 214-215, 244-245
acknowledging and refuting opposing narrative, 48-49, 74-75
solutions, 165-166 problem-solution, 144-145, 171-172
adjust ©, 48, 50, 53, 55-57, 74, 101 summary -response, 1 78-179

cluster diagrams, 14-15, 41 42
alter ©, 114, 11 7, 120 Venn diagrams, 112-11 3, 1 38-139, 255
alternative ©, 16, 18-19, 38, 43, 159-160,
165-166, 182, 194, 202
c
capacity ©, 7 82, 216, 218
alternative approach, 17, 22, 31 have the capacity, 216-217, 221, 233
ambition, 50, 52, 55, 63
cause and effect essays, 79-110
annotating, 196-197, 207 cause-effect graphic organizer, 80-81,
106-10 7
anticipate 50, 52, 54
essay organization, 89-96
anxiety, 84, 146-149, 151, 153, 156, 182, 227 grammar, 100-103
plagiarism, 104-105
apparent ©, 146-147, 151 research, 108
appositives, 1 34-1 35 self -editing review, 272
are likely to, 21, 86, 115-116, 149, 182, 221, vocabulary and collocations, 82-83
229-230, 233 writing skills, 97-100

argumentative essays, 21 3-248 cause -effect graphic organizer, 80-81,


argumentative charts, 214-215, 244-245 106-10 7
essay structure, 224-235
characters, 58, 61
grammar, 240-241
plagiarism, 242-243 charts: argumentative, 214-215, 244-245
research, 246 narrative, 48-49, 74-75
self -editing review, 276 problem-solution, 144-145, 171-172
vocabulary and collocations, 216-21 7 summary-response, 1 78-1 79
writing skills, 236-239
citation
at the same time, 181-182 in research, 76, 108; to avoid mistakes,
208; of non- textual sources, 246
attribute ©, 151, 180, 182, 184

to avoid plagiarism, 39 40, 72-73, 169; of
audience and appeal, 236-237 graphs and charts 242-243

280
climax, 58, 62, 65, 74
D

cluster diagrams, 14-15, 41 42 demonstrate ©, 146-147, 157
coherence, 184 dearly demonstrate, 147, 149-150
in writing, 1 31-133
details, 28-29, 58, 61, 92
coincide ©, 16, 20 deviate ©, 180, 183-184
coincide with, 16-18
dismiss, 180, 183-184
commitment ©
, 16
document ©, 82, 84
make a commitment, 17-18
dramatically ©, 114, 11 7, 119
commodity 114, 116, 119

common knowledge, 72-73 E


enhance ©, 32, 82, 87, 91
comparison and contrast essays, 111-142
greatly enhance, 83-84
essay organization, 122-129
grammar, 134-135 equate ©, 216, 219
plagiarism, 1 36-1 37
establish © 150, 180, 183, 185, 201, 212
research, 140
self -editing review, 273 ethical ©, 16-1 7, 19-20, 31, 37
Venn diagrams, 112-113, 138-1 39
events, 58, 69, 71
vocabulary and phrases, 114-115
writing skills, 130-133 evidence ©, 140, 159, 166, 216, 218,
228-233, 244
complexity ©, 50, 53, 55, 57 in research, 108
complex noun phrases, 240-241 strong evidence, 217, 220

concentrated ©, 114, 116, 118 exceed ©, 180, 182

concluding paragraph, 24, 31, 58, 65, 96, excessive, 16-1 7, 145
129, 154, 163, 196, 224, 235 excessive consumption, 17, 19, 21, 27, 34

concluding sentence, 28-29 exhibit ©, 82, 87, 92


conclusion ©, 65, 148, 190, 216, 218-219 exhibit behavior, 83-84
draw a conclusion, 21 7, 221, 233
expose © 16-18, 21, 35, 37, 182
in conclusion, 129, 132, 187, 196, 222,
235
F
logical conclusion, 147, 152, 163
final comment, 24, 31, 96, 129
condition, 21, 89-90, 114, 11 7, 119
for the sake of, 51, 53
conflict, 58
fragments, run-ons, and comma splices,
consequence ©, 91, 93, 114, 11 7-118, 166 avoiding, 99-100
constant ©, 178, 180, 182, 185, 208
constraint 216, 218

counterargument, 224, 232-234


counterarguments and refutation in
writing, 238
G K
gerunds, 35-38 keywords
in research, 43, 173
grammar
avoid overuse in writing, 201-202
appositives, 1 34-135
complex noun phrases, 240-241 L
gerunds, 35-38 logical ©, 87, 146, 185, 197
infinitives, 35-38, 167-168 basic logic, 147, 149
ft constructions, 167-168
logical conclusion, 147, 152, 163
noun clauses, 202-204
past tense, 69-71 M
present perfect and present perfect minimize ©, 180, 183-184
progressive, 100-103
mutual ©, 82
graphic organizers mutual benefit, 83
cause -effect graphic organizers, 80-81, mutual support, 83, 85
106-10 7 N
charts: argumentative, 214—215, 244-245
narrative essays, 47-78
narrative, 48-49, 74-75
essay structure, 58-65
problem-solution, 144-145, 171-1 72
grammar, 69-71
summary -response, 1 78-1 79

cluster diagrams, 14-15, 41 42
plagiarism, 72-73

narrative charts, 48 49, 74-75

Venn diagrams, 112-11 3, 138-1 39, 255


research, 76
H self-editing review, 271
hook, 24-27, 122, 154, 225 vocabulary and phrases, 50-51
writing skills, 66-68
I neutral and unbiased language, 199-200
image ©, 50, 52, 54
non- textual sources in research, 246
inevitably ©, 85, 180, 182, 184
note- taking
infinitives, 35-38, 167-168 in research, 208
initially ©, 50, 53 to avoid plagiarism, 205-206

in the case of , 51, 55, 63 noun clauses, 202-204

in the same way, 115, 117


o
introduction, 190 organization, 89-90
introductory paragraph, 24-27, 58-61, 90, point-by -point and block, 122-124
126, 154, 161-162, 191, 224-225
outlines
irrational ©, 146-148 short outline examples, 256, 262
irrational tendency, 147-148 make an outline, 44^45, 77-78, 109-110,
141-142, 1 74-1 75, 209-210, 247-248
/t constructions, 167-168
outline the ideas, 22-23, 56-58, 88-89,
it is important to note, 115, 117, 119 120-122, 152-154, 188-189, 222-224

over the course of , 51, 56

overuse of key words, avoid, 201-202

282
p Q
parallel structure, 66-67 quotations, 229
avoiding plagiarism, 39, 205-206
paraphrasing
in research, 76
in research, 108, 208, 246
in writing, 97-98 R

to avoid plagiarism, 39 40, 104-105, 205 radical ©, 16-1 7, 19-20
part of the reason, 1 81 reaction ©, 82, 1 78
-1 79, 197, 259
negative reaction, 83, 85
past tense, 69-71

perception 18, 216 refutation, 224, 232, 234, 238


popular perception, 21 7, 219 research
plagiarism choosing a quotation, 76
citation, 76, 108, 208; of non-textual
academic integrity pledge, 39
sources, 246
citation, 39-40, 72-73, 136, 169,
current information, 1 73
242-243
evaluating Internet sources, 140
citing graphs and charts, 242-243
evidence, 108
common knowledge, 72-73
credible sources, 136-1 37 keywords, 43
paraphrasing, 108, 208, 246
note-taking, 205-206
take notes to avoid mistakes, 208
paraphrasing, 39-40, 104-105, 205
quotations, 39, 205 response paragraph, 190, 193-194
time management, 169-1 70
restatement of the main idea, 24, 31,
point-by -point organization, 122-124 192, 196

points of comparison, 122, 125, 127-129 restrict ©, 114, 118, 121

present perfect and present perfect


progressive, 100-103
s
security ©, 50, 53, 55, 62
probability, 146, 149
high probability, 147, 151 selective 216, 219

self -editing review, 270-276


problem-solution essays, 143-1 76
essay structure, 154-163 sentence variety, 67-68
grammar, 167-168
sources
plagiarism, 169-1 70
citation in research, 76, 108, 208; non-
problem-solution charts, 144-145,
textual, 246
1 71-172
citation to avoid plagiarism, 39^10,
research, 173
72-73, 136, 169; of graphs and charts
self -editing review, 274
242-243
vocabulary and collocations, 146-147
credible sources to avoid plagiarism,
writing skills, 164-166
136-137
proofread, 259-262 current information in research, 1 73
evaluating Internet sources in
research, 140

283
stable ©, 216, 218 the idea of, 35, 181, 186
stable relationship, 21 7-218 thesis, 26, 29-30, 58, 122, 190, 246, 262
thesis statements, 60-62, 90-92, 126,
stressful ® , 50, 53-54, 66, 99, 183
154, 161-162, 225, 227, 231: as writing
structure skill, 32-34
academic, 24
argumentative, 224 time management, 169-170
narrative, 58
topic sentence, 28-29, 92, 94, 128, 194-195,
parallel, 66-67 228-229, 231-232
problem-solution, 1 54
trigger ©, 146, 148, 151
student models, 20, 54, 86, 118, 150, 184,
220, 261 V
Venn diagrams, 112-11 3, 138-1 39, 255
subsequently ©, 82, 86
summarize 82-84 virtually ©, 114, 117-118

summarizing
in writing, 164-165, 193, 198-199
w
widespread 16-1 7, 162
summary, 190 widespread belief, 1 7-18
in summary, 119, 129, 132
words and phrases that show similarities and
summary paragraph, 192
differences, 130-131
summary-response essays, 177-212 writing in the real world, 18, 52, 84, 116,
essay organization, 190-197 148, 182, 218
grammar, 202-204
plagiarism, 205-206 writing skills
research, 208 acknowledging and refuting
self -editing review, 275 opposing solutions, 165-166
steps for annotating, 196-197, 207 audience and appeal, 236-237
summary -response charts, 1 78-1 79 avoiding fragments, run-ons, and
comma splices, 99-100
vocabulary and phrases, 180-181
writing skills, 198-202 avoid overuse of keywords, 201-202
coherence, 131-133
supporting sentences, 24, 28-29 counterarguments and refutation,
238-239
sustain ©, 82 83, 85, 87, 96
-

neutral and unbiased language, 199-200


T parallel structure, 66-67
paraphrasing, 97-98
take notes
proofread, 259-262
in research, 208
sentence variety, 67-68
to avoid plagiarism, 205-206
summarizing, 164-165, 193, 198-199
tendency, 146, 148, 151 thesis statements, 32-34
irrational tendency, 147-148 timed writing: analyze the prompt,

test taking, 249-268



251 253; plan your writing, 254-256;
proofread, 259-262
timed writing: analyze the prompt, 251- words and phrases that show similarities
253; apply what you have learned, 261 — and differences, 1 30-1 31
264; challenges of timed writing, 250;
plan your writing, 254-256; proofread,
259-262; write your essay, 257-258

284
TEXT CREDITS
The authors and publishers acknowledge the following sources of copyright material and are grateful for the
permissions granted . White every effort has been made , it has not always been possible to identify the sources of all
the material used , or to trace all copyright holders. If any omissions are brought to our notice, we will be happy to
include the appropriate acknowledgments on reprinting.

Text on. pp. 18-19 adapted from " Does Buying Nothing Do Anything?” by Scott Harris Reproduced
,

with permission .

Text on pp. 52-53 adapted from “My Turn: An Immigrants Silent Struggle" by Robert Kosi Tette,www.newsweek,
com/ my-turn-immigrants-silent-struggle-83925, Reproduced with permission of Robert Kosi Tette .

Text on pp 84-85 adapted from “Moving Is Tougli tor Kids" by Nancy Darling , www psychologytoday com / blog /
,

thinking-about- kids/ 2010oy/moving-is-tough-kids. Reproduced with permission of Nancy Darling.

Text on pp 116 117 adapted from "The Cost of a Global Food Chain” by Robert Gottlieb, http:// articles,latimes.
,

com / 20 lo / oct / io / opinion / la -oe -gottlieb-garlic-globalization - io101020. Reproduced with permission of Robert
Gottlieb;

Text on pp. 148- 149 adapted from “ Its Not a Tumour ! The Psychology Behind Cyberchondria” by Britt Peterson ,
- .
www.newsweek.com /its- not tumor-psychblogy-behind - cyberchondria-64a71 Reproduced with permission of
Britt Peterson ,

Text on pp 182-183 adapted from "Overcoming Information Overload” by Margarita Tartakovsky, http://
,

psyehcentral.com / blog/ archives / 2o 13 / o1/ 21/ 0vercoming - information -overload /. Reproduced with permission of
Margarita Tartakovsky ,

. _
Text on pp 184-185 adapted from "Stop Knocking Curation” by Steven Rosenbaum , www cjr.org/ the kicker /leave
,

curation _ alone php. Reproduced with permission of Columbia Journalism Review


, ,

Text on pp 211- 212 adapted from ' Face Time vs. Screen Time: The Technological Impact on Communication” by
,

Chandra Johnson, http://natiQi1aldeseretnews.com/ artide/ 2235 /face -time-vs-screeJi1-time -the-technological- impad: '

on -communication html . Reproduced by permission of Deseret News National


,

Text on pp. 218- 219 adapted from "Online Friends, Real or Not ? Discussing Dunbars Number and Social Media” by
Dawn Branley, https:// thecyberpsyche . wordpress.com / 2013 /08/ 14 /online -friends- real-or- not -discussing - dunbars -
number-and -social - media /. Reproduced by permission of Dawn Branley.

The publisher has used its best endeavors to iinsure that the URLs for external websites referred to in this book are
correct and active at the time of going to press. However, the publisher has no responsibility for the websites and can
make no guarantee that a site will remain live or that the content is or will remain appropriate.

CORPUS
Development of this publication has made use of the Cambridge English Corpus ( CEC ) The CEC is a multi-
,

billion word computer database of contemporary spoken and written English. It includes British English,
American English and other varieties of English It also includes the Cambridge Learner Corpus, developed in
,

collaboration with the University of Cambridge ESOL Examinations. Cambridge University Press has built up the
CEC to provide evidence about language use that helps to produce better language teaching materials.

285
ART C RE DITS
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Mark Wiener/ Alamy, p. 22: Tempura/ Getty, p. 27: ULTRA F /Getty, p. 37: svetikd/Getty, p. 39: wdstock/Getty, p 43:
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Justin Case /Getty, p. 47: Doug Allan / Getty, p . 51: Hero Images/ Getty, p. 52: Paul Smith/Alamy, p. 56: Hill Street
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Roberts / Alamy, p. 84: Thomas M Per kins /Shut ter stock, p 87: Colin Hawkins/ Getty, p 95: Cultura Creative/ Alamy,
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