··INTRODUCTION··

My name is Relebogile Chattel Kaile. Im 16 years old of age in grade 11 and from a
small town in Limpopo. I live with my parents and little brother. My mom is more of an
angel, kind and sweet and my dad is more of the stubborn one. He sometimes treats me
very unkind like bosses me around and tells me how much of a stupid daughter I am, but
I always brush it off. Im humble , mostly quiet, modest, more of a book fan than a party
fan and im very pretty... I have a caramel complexion and im tall with curves and an
average butt size. Im jus beautiful. I have a best friend named Lerato and we've been
friends since the first grade and we share everything. And I also have a boyfriend,
Steven. His 18 years old and his in grade 12. Our relationship is still new , more like a
month or so but we really like each other and appreciate each others presence.... Please
stick with me as I tell u the story of my life.......

INSERT 1....

"Its 5o clock in the morning. conversation goes boring. said u---" I switch off the alarm
on my phone. It was 5 o clock exactly. I wake up this early everyday so that I prepare
myself for school without being rushed by anyone..(my dad if I have to say).... I got up,
made the bed and went to take a bath, got out and did all the basics. I got into my school
uniform, tied my hair into a ponytail since my hair was kinna long. I made myself look
nice and neat. I grabbed my bag and got out of the room and came across my dad in the
passage...
Me: Morning dad :)
Dad: Yea whatever morning...
Me: ow...kay....
I continued walking downstairs and went to the kitchen and started making breakfast. I
loved doing things in the house so I made toast, eggs , beacons and coffee for my
parents. My mom came downstairs wearing her morning gown looking really horrible.
Me: Morning ma....errr....aren't u going to work?
Mom: morning my girl. No im not going to work...

Mom works as those assistants at old mutual while dad is a teacher..

Me: Is it the fever again?

Mom: Yes
Me: Have u consulted a doctor yet though mama
Mom: Yes. Bare ke flue fela. Ke tlo fola ngwanaka aker ...( They say its jus flue. Il get
well my my child).
Me: *smiles* okay ma... breakfast?
Mom: No im here for coffee only. My stomach feels funny.....
My little brother showed up and kissed my mother on her cheek as well as me...
Me: euwww Phetollo
Phetollo: Iv given you ebola. Ayeye Lebo :)
Me: In that case no breakfast for you.
Phetollo: Ahh u know im playing with u sis... He sat down and helped himself with
breakfast...

Phetollo is 13 years old and is in grade 7. Him and I are close, we always get along.
Although dad likes him more than me....

Jus a while after dad came downstairs.

Dad: Sure Phetollo my son, ready for todays test?
Phetollo: Yes dad. Iv studied all night....
I know thats a lie coz my brother hates studying.
Dad: Good.
He sat down...
Dad: Hey who made breakfast?
Mom: Lebo
Dad: Arg really? girls in ur grade wake up at 4 to study and u waste ur time making
breakfast? The eggs look ugly im even scared to eat them.
Mom: Ishmael please.. give her a break.
He stood up and kissed my mom on her cheek.
Dad: Il grab something along the way. Love u and get better... He went out...
Mom: Sorry Dear...
Me: Its fine ma. im used to him anyway.
Mom: Go to school before u get late.
She gave us our pocket money and we got out and went to wait for the bus... When it
arrived, we got on it and went to school.........

INSERT 2 ....

We got to school and I found Lerato waiting for me near the gate. Knowing the love she
has for spotting hot guys, I know the wait wasn't a rather drastic one for her.
Me: Mata..
Lee: Hey mata. Sure Phetollo my future husband
Phetollo: Ehh im gone.
He walked away fast and I chuckled
Me: U still haven't stopped?
Lee: Ur brother's a cutie. Iv been trynna eye on a hunkie around the school and pssh
...seems like every hot guy is on a hot strike or something..if not, his taken..
Me: What happend to ur boyfriend?the one u met last week, Sizwe?
Lee: U know, we still on the honey moon phase. But u know I like eating my meals with
dishes on the side ;) ...
Me: :v man u a hoe.
Lee: Yea and u need to get laid...
Now that was a topic I didn't wanna engage in. Im still a virgin and not planning on
losing myself anytime soon.
Me: Lets go to class .
Lee: I knew u were gonna avoid that topic....
We walked to the classrooms and I got to mine since her and i arent in the same class. I
took my seat and immediately took out my life science text book and started reading. I
felt someone's presence ,especially their cologne and I could feel that the person is
staring at me . I looked up and it was Steven....
Me: Hey stevie
Stevie: Hey to u too...He kissed me on my cheek.
Stevie:You and books though?
Me: Well I have to read in order to get to ur grade ...
Stevie: I know , I get it cupcake. I was wondering if we could go out this weekend. U
know, catch a movie or something...
My face lit at first until I thought about my dad.
He wasn't gonna like it. But either way I didn't wanna disappoint steve.I know if I don't,
he'll probably eye another chick he'll spend time with.
Me: Uhm... yea sure...
Stevie:Great....I'll call u ... Ohh and sorry that I didn't take ur calls this weekend. He
pecked my lips...Right there, I felt my knees getting weak. I jus smiled...
Me: its cool :)
Stevie: Goodluck with ur September tests ....
Me: Don't worry, il ace them...
Stevie: Ouch...thats cocky. See ya... He left the class and I was still blushing.
Really...this guy was hot. Light skin, brown eyes,buffy arms and dresses good also. His
my first boyfriend and he's wanted by many. I mean I know alotta girls envy me for
having him.... The first period teacher got in as the bell went and lessons began....
Breaktime came ,I packed my books and went out of the class and met up with Lee. We
bought bunny chows from the tuckshop as well as some cold drinks and snacks. We
chilled at our favourite spot and jus then, a group of girls passed us with one of them
giving me a deadly look.
Me: Lee did---
Lee:Yea I saw that. Thats that ratchet chick from grade 10. Steves ex...
Me: Ow...
Lee: Mata...I really wanna know if u doing the right thing. I mean steven is ur first shot
in dating and I'd really hate it if he hurts u. I don't trust him...
Me: U don't have to. As long as im the one dating him and not the other way round
Lee:Geez chill. im jus saying I don't think his good for u. What would a most wanted hot
guy wanna do with a high time book reading nerd. U never wear those short things
revealing ur stomach or legs. U not really his type of attraction...
Those words got me pissed, I took my bag and walked away,leaving her there. I chilled
in class until the bell rang and I got ready to write my September test with what Lee said
running across my head like crazy... We got the test and we wrote. It was quite easy coz
I studied hard that weekend and I was done in no time ...I got out of the class and went
to sit on a little bench-like wall near the school gate. The same girl with the deadly look
came across me again, still giving me that deadly look. I wasn't gonna let that pass...
Me: Uhhm askies sisi. Do u have something to say?
Her: To u?
Me: I don't see any other thing besides me that has breast either than u and me so ofcos
I mean u.
Her: Yoh. O nale attitude ebile.( u even have an attitude).. Right girl.My words to u are
simple. Distance urself from Steven and u and I wont have a problem
Me: That actually concerns him not me. His the one who wants me.
Her: Im jus telling u. U actually stupid for thinking gore wa go rata (that he loves u) he
jus wants ur panties..
Me: As long as it doesn't concern ugly people like u then im cool. Im sorry he left u coz
I know his ur ex,maybe that ugly mess of ur hair is the reason he left...
I saw that she was getting pretty upset...
Her: Arg... She walked away.
Who was I kidding?What she said actually cut deep. Everyone is warning him against
him, but i see no harm in him. Really I dont. I liked him very much and I wasn't about to
let him go for jus some people who don't feel like he should be mine. I feel so, though
doubts were flowing in but I brushed them off. The bell rang and the gate was open. I
waited for Phetollo and he showed up after a while but to tell me his going for soccer
practice so I went to catch a bus alone and went home.....
INSERT 3....

I got home and entered the house. When I was about to drink water in the kitchen, I
came across some Blood on the kitchen counter. At first I thought it must've been
someone earlier trying to cut something and cut him/her self, but my head started
spinning the moment I remembered that I left my mother in the house this morning and
she wasn't looking really good. God! The thoughts that were racing through my mind
were priceless that I felt my knees getting weak. "Who's blood is it? what happend?
what should I do?" at the same time my heart was beating like a drum.I quickly ran to
her room,tears already streaming down my eyes. I barged into her room, to my surprise,
she was sleeping on the bed. I didn't trust the non-motion sleep she was having so I went
closer to her and tried waking her. Indeed she woke up and looked at me and was
shocked at the tears that were on my face. I looked terribly scared. I was terribly
scared....
Mom: Hau ngwanaka? Bothata bo kae? Goreng o lla? ( My child? whats wrong? why
are u crying?) ... I jus stood there staring at her like im seeing a ghost. Honestly the
blood I saw there, could calculate the amount of blood in my foot. I finally got the
courage to speak...
Me : Ma... U scared me.. Madi ko kitchen mama. Go diregileng? (the blood in the
kitchen?what happend)...
Mom: Ohh I was suppose to wipe that off. Im sorry nana. Mama is sick but surely I'll be
fine.... She showed me a tissue she was using and it was damp with blood , I realized
that her "nothing much serious" coughs she had the previous weekend were definitely
something much serious. What is wrong with my mother? . I couldn't find the strength to
say more that I found myself exiting her room. I changed into simple clothes and went to
the kitchen to clean off the blood. I made herbal tea for her and took it to her room. I
then went back and started cooking. Despite what my father said this morning, I know
that tonight, he has no choice but to eat. Phetollo came in after an hour or so and took a
bath. A while after him, came dad and I decided to talk to him.
Me: Thobela papa *greetings*
Dad: Ya ya... He wanted to walk away but I blocked his path.
Me: uhm papa. I think mama is sick. She is seriously sick and she needs medical
attention.
Dad: U think I don't know that my wife is sick? Yoh u way too stupid than I thought.
What the hell do u think is in this black plastic?Get out of my way u stupid child.... He
passed and went up to the room. I continued cooking with mom in my mind and also
dads behavior. Then Stevie got in my mind. Gosh how am I gonna convince him about
me going out this weekend? With those thoughts I got done with cooking and dished up
for everyone. We ate in silence and I took the plates to wash them. Phetollo came in and
ask to help me. I let him wash while I wipe and pack. I wasn't about to tell him about
earlier today. We were sharing jokes and laughing and all until dad came into the
kitchen.
Dad: Phetollo go and study and stop doing girl's job. Why help this lazy one? nxa ....
with that said he left the kitchen and so did Phetollo. His behavior was starting to get to
me. I wondered if im really his child. I got done and went to take a bath, got done and
dressed into my pj's. I texted Steve a goodnight text and he didn't reply, which was
strange but I brushed it off. I got in the sheets and in no time I dozed off.....

INSERT 4...

Hours later, early hours of the morning, I was awakened by a rather disturbing sound. I
heard very strong coughs coming from my parents bedroom. Without taking a guess, I
knew it was my mother and after what I saw earlier that day, I knew with every cough,
blood is released from her mouth. I was thinking harsh thoughts about her, whether she'l
die or not. That brain session went on for a few hours until it was disturbed..."Its 5 o
clock in the morning. conversation goes--" that was my alarm. I realized I hardly slept,
but I wasn't tired. I was heavy-hearted. I got up,made the bed and went to the bathroom.
I did all the basics, grabbed my bag and went out. Due to my experience the previous
morning, I decided not to do breakfast. I sat there eating my cereals, or whether the
cereals were eating me. I hardly ate them, I was consumed by thoughts about my
mother. It was really ripping my soul. I was so much in thoughts that I didn't even hear
Phetollo's presence until he snapped his fingers near my face....
Phetollo: Earth on Relebogile. Heloo
Me: Eish leave me alone
Phetollo: If this is about last night, I---
Me: No its not.Its fine.
Phetollo: Did u hear mama last night?
Me: Something is wrong with mama. She has never been sick like this before. Im getting
worried. What could be wrong?
Phetollo: I don't know... He looked down with a frown. I didn't have the courage to
console him. Dad came minutes later...
Dad: Morning guys. Im taking ur mother to the hospital, but rest assured, she'l be fine...
We simply nodded our heads and he went to take her from their room while we gaze at
the kind behavior he had towards me. I guess mom's illness scares him too. He came
back with her leaning towards him for support. She was slowly guided in the car and
they drove off. After that we decided to leave for school as well...
I arrived at school with no sign of Lerato near the gate, I wasn't in the mood for her
anyway. I went straight to my class. The day went by fast and in no time, it was after
school. I was walking alone when I heard the voice of someone calling my name. I
turned around and it was Steven. He finally caught up with me...
Steve:Hey cupcake
Me: Hi
Steve: U look.....hmm kinna sexy in that skirt... I always wear trousers when I go to
school so me wearing a skirt was quite a stare since I have an appealing curve.
Me: err...thanks...
Steve: Sure thing cupcake. So plans are set for Saturday right? I wouldn't like it if u
disappoint me. I mean its Thursday today
Me: About that, uhm my family is going through a rough patch right now like my
mother is taken to hospital today.
Steve: But I thought this was about us. If u really care about me, u'd make it. For me
cupcake. It doesn't have to be about u all the time....
Gosh I wanted to talk back, but looking at his cute face I jus couldn't have the strength
to.
Me: I....I'll try my best
Steve: Don't try, jus do so. With that said he left me so shocked. Maybe he was right. It
isn't about me all the time. We haven't been out on a date and this might do us good.
Even through the drama happening at home. I caught a bus and in no time I was home....

...

INSERT 5....

Later at home, things weren't really quite good. Everyone was quiet. The house has
suddenly turned into a grave yard. Mom's absence had been like a wall that has been
knocked-down in the house. It was unstable. We jus ate and went to bed without a sound
uttered.
It was now Friday. I woke up and did all the basics and went to the sitting room to wait
for Phetollo. He came minutes after and we exchanged greetings. Then dad came in...
Dad: Uhm. I got a call from the hospital. Ur mother's coming back home today. The
doctors cant seem to find what's wrong with her, so I find no reason for her to be there....
He left our pocket money and left for work, and we followed and left for school which
in no time we arrived...

Later at school, It was break time. I went to the tuck shop to get myself some snacks. I
asked for a packet...
Voice: Make that two... I turned around to see who it was and it was Lee.
Lee: Please.... I turned around and told the shop owner to give me two packets, paid and
gave the other packet to her and started walking.
Lee: Listen friend. U and I have been friends for a very long time and we've always been
together. We are locked together. It hurts me to see us like this and I don't want our
friendship to sink because of silly things. Im sorry... I took a deep breath then I said...
Me: Well u right. We cant lose this over a silly things so, u forgiven.
Lee: *smiles* ... Jus then, the same group of girls passed us giving me that same look,
including that "stay away from Steven" girl.
Lee: Man these kids ain't got no chill.
Me: Yea. Especially that girl.
Lee: Owee don't even tell me about that one. Yesterday I saw her throwing herself on
Steven at the playground at soccer practice. She looked desperate.
Me: She is desperate. She gave me a session of 'Stay away from him'. Speaking of
which, we going out tomorrow.
Lee: Wow really? and how will u explain that to daddy-monster?
Me: Thats where u come in. I'll tell him that I'm meeting u for some study session.
Lee: Wow u already naughty :D. Ey. If it makes u happy in a way then sure. I don't like
this by the way but I have no say.
Me: *smiles* thank u ...
Lee: Make sure u wear a clean and attractive panty..
Me: :v oh please. I wouldnt let it get that far.
Lee: uh-huh? If u say so virgin mary... We ended up talking random stuff until the bell
rang and we went to our classes. I wrote the test and in no time, it was after school. I met
up with Lee and we walked together until...
Voice:*clears throat* Hello ladies. Before looking back, I knew who it was. It was my
cupcake. We turned around and he looked at me while I blushed.
Lee: *with attitude* Ohh u again
Steven: Hello to u too Lerato.
Lee: How may we help u?
Steven: Nothing much. Jus wanna speak with my girlfriend.
Lee: Well speak to her.
Steven: Yea but theres a person in between us who doesn't deserve to hear this.... She
looked at him with a "I ain't going no where" look.
Me: Uhm Lee, u can continue walking I'l catch up with u. Its okay.... She gave him a
deadly look then proceeded walking.
Me: Is there something wrong with ur phone? I've been trynna call u.
Steve: Yea I saw that
Me: And didn't reply?
Steve: Well I was busy. So we on for tomorrow?
Me: Uhm yea.
Steve:*smiles* great. Please wear something sexy. Theres a party going on and I'd like
us to go together..... Eish now thats a shocker. Me and parties aren't friends. I don't know
how this is gonna be but I guess I have to do it for my boo.
Me: Uhm sure.... He then looked at me in my eyes and held my waist and got closer to
me, so close that i could feel his breath and we kissed. It went on for a while until he
pulled out.
Steve: See yah... and smiled for me. Gosh this guy was really handsome.
He walked away and I caught up with Lee.
Lee: Mh-mh-mh ....In public?
I was all smiles... we walked and I got to the bus and went home.

Later at home ,I was cooking in the kitchen when I heard the door opening and heard my
mothers voice, I quickly ran to her and hugged her.
Me: Mama!
Mama: Hey. woah...
Dad: And shes trying to kill my wife.
I broke the hug and looked at her.
Mama: Im okay my baby... Phetollo came along and hugged her too and she sat down.
Me: So what did the doctors say about u?
Dad: How is that ur business young girl?... Mom gave him a look then responded me.
Mama: Thats the weird thing. They've done several tests but still found nothing wrong
with me. Not even a sign of flue or anything
Phetollo: Thats awkward .
Mama: I know. Im sure I'l get better.
Dad: I still think its bad luck. I'll give Madipila a call...
Madipila is a family friend and shes a sangoma.
Me: I don't think of it that way.
He gave me a serious intimidating look.
Dad: I wouldn't be surprised if u were the one who's responsible for this. I'l go and see
her tomorrow... maybe she'l expose u.
Mama: Ishmael!!!!! Don't talk like that to our daughter. I kept quiet..
Dad: Don't jus sit there go and dish up, we hungry..... Without wasting time I did so and
we ate. Mom said she was tired so she went to bed, when dad was about to leave, I
stopped him.
Me: uhm papa,tomorrow im going to study with Lerato and I was wondering if u'd---
Dad: Yea whater. u can go.
Me: Uhm dankie papa.... He looked at me and clicked his tongue then went to his
bedroom. I stayed and watched tv with Phetollo...
Phetollo: I saw what u were doing today.
Me: Askies?
Phetollo: The kiss. I didn't know u were dating him.
Me: Ohh that. Well yea. We dating.
Phetollo: So u chose to be one of his girlfriends?
Me: Excuse me? What do u know about him?
Phetollo: More than u do I guess. I practice with that guy every afternoon and the
number of girls he walks home. I thought u value urself more than that.
Me: Phetollo u don't know anything okay? U don't even have a girlfriend and u never
had one but u already on that "he ain't perfect for u " ish. Why cant everybody be happy
for us for once? Arg.... I stood up and went to my bedroom. I wasn't in the mood to bath
so I jus got in mg pj's and laid on my bed. I thought about tomorrow and what im gonna
wear, how is the party gonna be, who is gonna be there and all. With those thoughts I
drifted off to lala land in no time....

INSERT 6...

I woke up the next day,which was saturday feeling jumpy about the event that was to
take place. I was quite nervous though,but I really had no choice. I got up and cleaned
the house while everyone was still sleeping,or so I think coz I heard my parents
exchanging voices when I passed their room. When I was done I went to bath and when
I was done I lotioned myself.
"Sexy... What do u have that is sexy over here Relebogile. Jus a bunch of huge shirts and
jeans.gosh!" I said to myself. After debating with myself I finally took out a nice black
skinny jean and a basket ball red shirt, red all stars and a black side bag,did my hair,
applied abit of lip gloss then went out of my room and found Phetollo watching tv in the
sitting room.
Me: hey.
He gave me a look then he responded me
Phetollo: Hi
Me: uhm u alone?
Phetollo: yeah. U look nice.
Me:*smiles* thank u
Phetollo: U not going to whatever study session u said u're going to right.
I looked down and tried to change the subject...
Me: Where's dad? I heard the car leaving.
He gave me a look again
Phetollo: He went out to seek Madipila
Me: uhm okay. I'm leaving now. I'll see u later and please attend mama at all times
Phetollo: sure... I walk away and went out of the house. I called steven when I got out of
the gate and by surprise he answered at the third ring.
*phonecall conversation*
Steve: cupcake
Me: hey babe I jus left the house. I'm around the corner,where should we meet?
Steve: U jus wait around ur corner, give me jus a few minutes.
Me: okay :) ...
I waited on the corner and in about 30 minutes, a red GTI made a stop near me and when
I tried looking into the windows I recognised that Steve was the one driving in it and he
pulled a side smile. I gazed at the car first
Steve: Don't jus stand there, get in cupcake... I got in with my body trembling and
managed to sit myself down on the seat.
Me: I never knew u could drive
Steve: A lot u don't know about me dear lebo... I blushed and he drove off. He looked at
me, from head to toe then looked forward.
Steve: babe, couldn't u wear something abit less complicated? Like a short dress or mini
skirt?
Ouch... That kinna hurt me
Me: uhm most of my clothes are dirty. I was suppose to wash them today...
I know its a lie,but how do u tell a handsome and rich guy that u have no sexy numbers
in ur wardrobe?
Steve: its okay. But next time please baby, do wear them...
I pulled a fake smile and we drove in silence. Throughout the journey, I felt his hand on
my thigh. I looked at him then at his hand. He saw that I was abit uncomfortable so he
removed his hand.
Steve: sorry about that
Me: no its okay... With that said, silenced followed in the car. After about 20 minutes of
driving, we stopped at some house and my my my... The house was mad beautiful. It
was a very huge mansion with a nice lawn and beautiful flowers. It was quite amazing.
Me: ur friend lives here?
Steve: Yea. Nice isn't it ?
Me: very much... He switched off the engine then looked at me in the eyes ,I looked
back and our eyes were locked on each other. He then kissed me. Ohhh I swear he sent
chills down on my spine. I'm talking about a tongue work kinna kiss. It was really
amazing. He then pulled out...
Steve: let's get inside. He got out of the car and I followed. He gave one last baby kiss
and locked the car then we walked towards the door of the house. There were already a
few cars aroung the yard, I could tell that people were already here,hence it was still
aroung 12.. He rang the door bell it and some guy opened and I must say, he was very
cute. He looked coloured and he was rocking a black skinny jean with a black versace
shirt with a black cap facing backwards and a pair of black airmax...
Steve: Luke my man
Luke: Ey stevie bra howzit man
Steve: Its all good man... The Luke guy then looked at me
Luke: hmm...she cute man... Steve looked at me and held me on my waist
Steve: I know man. Babe, this is Luke, my man this is my girl Lebo
Me: pleased to meet u
Luke: pleasures all mine. Come in... We walked in and wow... The house was really
beautiful inside, I felt like I'm in an episode of teen crib or something. The house was
already packed with people and some hip hop songs were playing. Some people were
smoking, others were drinking and others were kissing and making out on the beautiful
white couch, its was quite a mess.
"Oh god what did I get myself into"
Steve: did u say something ?
Me: me? No I was jus saying its a..beautiful house.
Steve: okay. Well cupcake lemme go and mingle with the guys for a while, jus to greet
them.I'll be back jus now
M e: but--- .... He had already left me here. That's great. Now what do I do?I looked
around and I saw a room that looked like a kitchen so I went there and the were different
drinks on the kitchen counter. Alcohol if I am to be certain. I finally found some coke,
took it then went back to the sitting room and sat myself down on the white couch,took
out my phone and started browsing through facebook. I could see that most people on
my facebook were here coz they posted pics of themselve enjoying.. Then..
Voice: Bored?
I looked up and it was this other cute chick. She also looked coloured.
Me: Uhm yea. Kinna
Her: I see u aint quite a party type
Me: well yea
Her: then wat are u doing here?
Me: ohh I came with my boyfriend. Steve...
Her: ohh u dating steve? Wow that guy never slows down on girls
Me: well yea... I looked down
Her: oh I'm sorry I'm Britney. I'm the party host's girlfriend.
Me: ohh nice to meet u, I'm Lebo.
Britney: same here. Since both our boyfriends have ditched us, how about we chill
together.
Me: sure... We then started talking to each other, like get to know each other well and
also talk about random stuff. Turns out she has a baby with this Luke guy and have been
dating for 2 years now. Steve and Luke came to us after a while but only to tell us that
they going to buy more alcohol. That confused me, like there was already quite a lot of
liquor in the kitchen and they getting more :O ? Anyway they left and Britney took me
to her friends and we jus chilled and talked. I was mostly quiet in their
conversations,probably coz I aint used to them. Its been around two hours or so, Still no
sign of Steve nor Luke. After some time they came in. Steve came up to me while I was
still chilling with the girls and asked to see me. He smelled liqour so I could tell that he
was drinking. He held my hand and walked while I was following him. We went up the
stairs, I was curious about this but didn't say anything. We walked to some room
upstairs, we entered and he closed the door behind us. In a split of a moment his lips
were already on mine, with that tongue work again, and we kissed. He was holding me, I
was uncomfortable but I let it be. The kissing went on and he slowly walked me to the
bed while kissing. When I finally reached it, he laid me down on it and continued
kissing me while he got ontop of me. Gosh... This was something really extra ordinary
and was so much out of this world. He then started running his hands in my shirt and I
let him. Then he tried unbuttoning my jean. That's when earth got on me. I came back to
reality and I pulled out of the kiss.
Me: Steve. I'm not ready, I can't do this.
Steve: Baby common, it won't hurt. Do it for me... I got off the bed
Me: No Steve not now. I aint ready. Most especially now... He looked aside, I could tell
his pissed.
Me: please babe.
Steve: Ey whatever... He got up the bed and went out the room. I stayed and thought
about what almost happend. I was already about to shed a tear. I took out my phone and
checked the time, OMG it was 15;59. I know that if I don't leave any moment now, I
might get home pretty late and dad would surely kill me. I went out, went downstairs
and I looked for Steve and I found him drinking with his friends. I walked up to him, he
was all laughing. I pulled him to the side to talk to him..
Me: Steve, I wanna go home... He jus looked at me.
Me: Steve!!
Steve: Ey why u shouting bitch
Me: what :O ?
Steve: if u wanna go home, go.
Me: Take me home
Steve: I don't wanna leave this party is already about to get lit, u wanna go home, go by
urself... He left me and joined his friends again. Oh no. Now what? I don't know where I
am and I don't even have enough cash on me to catch any taxi or bus. I don't know
which side of town I'm in. I was now crying. I got outside the house, looked around and
jus cried. Jus then, Britney came along.
Britney: Hey lebo, what's wrong. Why are u crying? Did something happen ?
Me: I..its steve. He doenst wanna take me home and I don't know how to get home. I
aint even got even cash to take me home... With that said, my cheeks were really wet
with tears.
Britney: what ? This guy is crazy. Calm down, its okay. My friend was about to go out
to fetch her night bag, maybe she can drop u off... I looked up, as if I jus seen a beam of
light in a very dark and big tunnel. I noded my head and I followed her. We went to her
friend who was already inside the car. It was a red kia picanto. She looked old, maybe
around 20-something. She told her my situation and she agreed to give me a lift, I got on
and she drove out of the yard.....

INSERT 7....

By the grace of God the lady did take me home. I directed her to my hood and she
dropped me off near the corner. I thanked her and went my way. Jus because im a few
meters away from home surely didn't bring any relief, in fact , I felt like collapsing on
the street. I felt like I was walking to hell. I know for sure that I'll get a beating of my
life when I get home. It was already 18:45. I could feel my tears clouding up in my eyes.
After walking a distance that seemed like a lifetime, I finally reached the gate. I entered
the yard and made my way to the door. I took a deep breath and opened it.
Jus then, my mother came rushing to the door, its as if she had been waiting for me to
come back. I looked at her with fear in my eyes. I was terribly scared,her eyes were
covered in worry, that I could tell. I don't think I' ll enjoy this night. After few seconds
of silence, she finally said something...
Mom: Ohh.. u back...
There was a tremble in her voice.
Me: Uhm ya. Im sorry..I....we got carried off and---
Mom: Its okay my girl. Im jus glad u back... She hugged me. I needed that comfort, coz
I don't think dad will react in the same way she is and the hug seemed intense. She let go
and I started walking slowly to my room. When I was about to pass through the
passage.....
Mom: Relebogile?
I stopped, my whole body stopped. Even my heart. I was now really scared.
Me: M... Ma?
Mom : Uhhm... ha ...have u seen ur father?.... I turned around to face her, worry was
written all over her face.
Me: No I haven't.
She looked down. My heart started celebrating a little, knowing im safe from dad. Even
if he'd come back minutes from now, I know my mom would stand up for me. At the
same time, my heart was a little aching. I can see that my mother is worried to death and
it hurt me seeing her that way.
Mom: Uhm, its jus that he hasn't come back since he left in the morning. I tried calling
him, but his not picking up.... Now that was really strange. First time dad has ever been
out for hours without calling. Even though his a jerk to me, the love that man has for his
wife is priceless. He'd catch a bullet for her. As for my mom, I could see tears forming
in her eyes...
Me: Mama he'll be back. Im sure his okay where ever he is. Maybe Madipila held him
for a ritual.
Mom: Thats what worries me. I called her and she said he came in the morning and left.
Now why is he not back? ..... She was right. Something was weird... I couldn't come
with words to console her, i needed one myself for what happend today, I went up to my
room. I started undressing and went to the bathroom to take a long bath. I jus laid in the
tub like a feather-less chicken, thinking about today. How can I be stupid not to see that
coming? why did Steve suddenly change on me? Tears were already streaming down my
cheeks. Why did I go in the first place?.... After what seemed to be hours of thinking I
got out of the bathtub and headed up to my room to get dressed in my pjs, then went out.
I wasn't hungry, but I didn't want to put a suspicion to my mom coz I know she'l get
suspicious if I don't eat. I went to the kitchen, took my plate which was covered then
joined my mother and brother who were watching tv. I started eating, but slowly.
Looking at my food and thinking about what happend today. My mother was focused on
the door, I didn't mind with that, but I could feel Phetollo's eyes on me. I continued
eating till I couldn't take in anymore then I stood up to reserve my food in the fridge then
went back to join them. After a while, my mother's phone rang. She jumped to get it, but
was disappointed once she saw the caller ID. I could tell it wasn't dad calling. She
answered it..
Mom: Hello Ma
phone:........
Mom:What!?
Phone:........
Mom: Bjang Mme? (How? )
Phone:.......
Mom: Uhh okay. Ke tlo leka go tla( I'll try to come)....Tears started rolling up from her
eyes as she dropped the phone, thats when I knew its serious....
Me: Mama....mama whats wrong?
Mom: *in tears* My....he....God father...Oh Lord please don't forsake us...
Phetollo:Mama??
Mom: Ur grandmother jus called me, ur father had an accident....
Us: What!!!? :O
Mom: I need to get to the hospital
Me: I'll come along.
Mom: No..u jus stay here and take care of ur brother... She was all crying and breathing
heavily... "Ohh Ishmael, dont leave me"... She headed for her room. The atmosphere was
heavy. Really God? Don't I have enough drama for a day? I know he hates me but I love
him and I need him. After my short prayer, mom came back dressed up...
Mom: I'll be back soon...With that said, she left. I wondered how shes gonna get to the
hospital since she doesn't have a car, till I heard the neighbor's car next door... I couldn't
take it no more so I went to my bedroom and cried. Why is everything falling apart? first
mom was sick, the Steve drama , now my dad. my pillow was wet with tears. I felt like it
was sobbing too. I cuddled it and in no time, I was asleep..
.
.
.
The sun penetrated my room and disturbed my eyes the next morning and I got up. My
eyes were painful due to the crying. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth then it got
to me that dad got an accident. Tears threatened to leave my eyes but I fought with them.
I got done and went out of the bathroom. The house was quiet, then I figured that mom
is asleep as well as my brother. I started cleaning up and then I made soft porridge.
Phetollo walked in...
Phetollo: Morning
Me:Morning
Phetollo: Mom called. She slept at the hospital and assured that dad is okay.
Me: Ohh okay... I looked down.
Phetollo: are u okay?
Me: Y.....yes
Phetollo: U were crying yesterday. For sure it wasn't because of dad. wassup?...... I
couldn't handle the tears anymore, they were convincing enough...
Phetollo: What happend yesterday?....
His my little brother and i know he wouldn't snitch me out, so I told him the whole
thing... He looked at me....
Me: U can say it. U told me so
Phetollo: Not in a million years. sis, uve always been there for me when I was weak. I
wanna do the same for u. Im sorry. Steven is a jerk.
Me: I know.... I should've listened....with that said we dropped the topic and talked about
random stuff and made jokes. I dished up for us and mom came back a while later. She
told us that dad is okay, he only hurt his left arm and is wounded here and there but his
okay and will come home soon. Now I felt at ease.......
INSERT 8....

"5 o clock in the morning. Conversations goes boring---" .... I woke up early. I don't
know for what reason coz my father is still in hospital,but I got up and went to bath.
After bathing, I got to my room and prepared my uniform which I washed the previous
day. Knowing that today im going to school to face that excuse of a guy Steve made me
kinna ill in the stomach. Atleast we had only 3 tests left then school is closed for the
term. A little ease, but wont change that I still have to see him at school today and the
remaining days. I'll jus have to avoid him. I got done and went out of the room to make
myself some cereals while waiting for Phetollo. Mom came in while I was eating.
Mom: Morning nana
Me: Morning mom.... I kissed her on the cheek.
Mom: U guys better stop kissing me, im still not well, I might transmit my illness to u.
Me: As long as I got it from u then im cool.
Mom: Wa gafa (u crazy)...
Me: :3 hehe hai mama.
Mom: Its good to see u smiling. I couldn't help but notice that u weren't well this
weekend. U looked down....
Me: Uhhm---
Mom: Look I know u worried about us. Everything is gonna be alright my baby okay?
don't stress about us. We'l always be here.
Me: *smile* okay mama... *We hugged*
Phetollo: Whats with girls and hugs?
*we laughed and broke the hug*
Me: Hey why aren't u in ur uniform :O? we getting late.
Phetollo: U are getting late.Im not going to school. I finished writing on Friday. Why
should I go to school, its only 3 days left whats the point.
Me: U and school...
Phetollo: I don't need school, I wanna be a soccer player.
Mom: Oweee don't let ur dad hear u say that. He'd strangle u. *We laughed*
Me: Well I got to go. Some of us have to go to school.
Mom took out my pocket money which she always gives us ...
Phetollo: Why are u giving her the money u give us everyday mama. Im not going to
school remember?
Mom: Well I know that I always give this amount of money to my eldest child everyday
that accommodates both my children at school coz I know they are going to school. If
one is left, well it means she'l eat double the cash she gets a day.
Phetollo: No fair
Me: hahaha now u'l learn to go to school... I gathered my things ,got out of the house
and made my way to school...
.

.
It was now break time at school and I got out of the class, caught up with Lee and got
our lunch.
Lee: Yoh friend, have u seen the news?
Me: Uhm not really.
Lee: So u haven't heard?
Me: Heard what?
Lee: Mr Sokhulu Shezi got a car accident this weekend.
Me: Sokhu who now?
She gave me the "duh" look.
Me: What?
Lee: U don't know Sokhulu Shezi? Like the man thats all over media and papers?
Me: N..never heard of him.
Lee: Man ur life is boring. Mr Shezi is one of the richest and influencial men in the
country. He has businesses left right and center. Even in China,Russia and Nigeria.
Every person in business admire that man and his family. He lives in johburg and his
house? yoh that family is loaded. I wonder how he got the accident.
Me: Ohh well im sad to hear that.
Lee: Yea man its sad. I heard that his wife was sick jus a few days before he got the
accident.
Me: Is it? ?
Lee: Yea man.
Me: Well heres a shocker
Lee: Spill it out.
Me: Daddy-monster got an accident this Saturday too
Lee: Wooaah. No friking way.
Me: Well yea...
Lee: Im sorry doll
Me: His fine. Nothing big. His getting discharged soon.
Lee:This is interesting. Ur dad and Mr money Shezi get an accident at the same day.
Me: Uhh....yea.
Lee: Strange
Me: It happens.
Lee: Yea u right.. So Saturday.. start talking...
I looked down.
Lee: Didn't go as planned?
Me:worse.... I told her the whole story and she got furious.
Lee: Jerk!! Who does he think he is?
Me: Calm down Lerato.
Lee: He needs to be taught a lesson.
Me:No its okay. I'l jus have to forget about him.
Lee: Im terribly sorry. I should've been there.
Me: Lets jus let hooligans be hooligans.
We continued talking till the bell rang and we headed to our classes. The day went by
fast, or was it because I was avoiding Steve? Anyway in no time school was out and I
went home without any delays.
.
.
I entered the house and made my way to my room, changed into my clothes and went to
the sitting room to join Phetollo since he was watching tv. The news played and indeed
what Lee had told me earlier appeard. The Shezi man got a car accident but he isn't
really hurt. Only a few wounds, but the car was terribly damaged. His angel must have
been besides him at the event of the accident, the was no way a person wouldve survived
that kind of accident. The news further said that it will be investigated, what is there to
investigate? Rich people always have a way of inviting attention. The car didn't collide
with another car it simply means that he was drunk or lost control or something. While I
was making the "Rich people" speech in my head, the door opened and my mother
entered and behind her was dad. He wasn't rather looking terrible, he was jus almost
okay. He had an arm sling and had a funny walk so I could say his leg is hurt.
Mom: We home....
Dad: Man I hate hospitals... *They laughed and I jus smiled* This man is a monster
towards me but his my father. Its better he treats me cold than to have no father at all.
Most would search high and low for their real fathers while I have mine. 1 is better than
0 right..? He walked to the sitting room with my mother assisting him and he sat on the
coach opposite the one i was sitting on.
Dad: Aren't u guys glad that Im home?
Phetollo: We are tyma. But it was peaceful when u weren't here.
*They laughed and I jus smiled* He noticed I wasn't easy, I think, but he was looking at
me .
Dad: Uhm My wife would u mind excusing me? I want to talk to Relebogile.
Mom: Okay. Phetollo, come.... Phetollo stood up and followed her. I was now getting
scared to a point where as I could hear my heart beat. I felt like the blood flowing inside
of me was water over connected electric cables. My body was shocked with fear. What
if he knows about Saturday? I wouldn't know how to escape that one. He looked at me
with silence. I felt like he was a dog thats about to attack.
Dad: Relebogile come and sit near me.... I stood up with my body trembling. Slowly and
steadily I went towards him... The look on his face was blank. I don't know whether he
was angry or happy. What is it that he wants though? I felt like shutting down as I sat on
the couch besides him. I didnt know what to expect, a slap,an insult,a lecture,i was jus
blank as my body was creeping up like pop corn in a pot...
Dad:..........
.
.
.

INSERT 9.....

Dad took a deep breath before he got to say something. Truly, my heart felt like fainting.
Dad: Relebogile... This name... U were given by ur grandma, did u know that?
Me: Uhhm no...
Dad: She was happy when ur mother conceived u... My girl, in my culture, if there
happens to be an event that affects the head of the house, the first born is the one to keep
things together in the house. When I got the accident, alot crossed on my mind.
Including if I wouldn't have made it. I realized that u are the one who'd take over, even
though I prefer ur brother. U more determine than him. U strong..
I looked down. This was a shocking thing. Its like closing ur eyes and expect a slap but
get a kiss instead. I was relieved, but still felt abit scared.
Dad: Let me tell u this.....When ur mother was pregnant with u, I was so convinced it
was a boy. The doctor also said its a boy. I was so excited. I boasted about u high and
low. Left and right. To my brothers, uncles, neighbors, friends, colleges, everyone. I was
so happy that I'll be getting a boy. I threw a huge ceremony for ur welcoming. Then ur
mother conceived u, and then there was u. The disappointment I felt. It was so deep.
Everyone that I have boasted to about u laughed at me. I was a laughing stock of the
town. Never had I ever been so embarrased like that. Eventually I couldn't take it
anymore that ur mom and I moved to this town. As u were growing, u became a
reminder of that, I started feeling disgusted by u. It became worse when ur mother
conceived Phetollo. Both ur names have meanings. My mother gave u that name to say
We thank God even though u came in a drastic way. Then Phetollo meaning answer. I
ment he was my answered prayer. Now i've realized that I cant keep punishing u coz u
did not make urself. Now my child, I ask from the bottom of my heart that u forgive
me....
My eyes were already drooping out tears.
Dad: Ohh my daughter... He pulled me closer so I could lie on his chest.The best
moment of my life. A union with someone I referd as a monster, finally becoming
someone iv always wanted him to be. My father. Ohh how that thought pleased my heart
and filled my eyes with tears. Finally being a daughter in his eyes, was a world of gold
to me....
Me: Go lokile papa (its okay)... I got up from his chest and looked at him.
Dad: I promise that I'll treat u like the princess u are... I flashed a smile..
Me: Would u like some coffee?
Dad: Ohh I'd love one my daughter... How my heart danced to hear him say that. but I
can understand. I mean, that was the biggest embarrassment ever that they even had to
move to another place jus so u can erase the memory, and me being the memory of it, I'd
hurt too. I did the coffee for him and the rest of the day was jus splendid. We spent time
together as a family. We watched a movie and also played snakes and ladders. It was
amazing. I went to bed smiling and at ease. Everything is exactly the way I always
wanted them to be ....
.
.
Next morning I woke up in a good mood. I did everything while singing out . I was
happy. Maybe because today was the last day of school. Taking a break from books
never thrilled me, it was only because I wont be facing Steve. I didn't want to. When I
got done, everyone was still asleep. I heard weird noises from my parents room and I
could tell that they made out .. ;) ...:v ... anyway I got done with everything and went to
school.
.
.
School wasn't really interesting but I was in a happy mode. Everyone was even amazed
by me in the class. Im usually quiet but today, I found it easy to talk to people. We wrote
our last test and school was to be dismissed at break, and it came. I had already
discussed with Lee that we are going out so we met up at the gate. We were walking and
laughing and by surprise, I was the one making jokes. All the laughing and talking got
seized when I saw Steve, and he walked our way.
Lee: Whats wrong?
Me: Look whos coming.
She looked towards his direction..
Lee: Ohh u mean that butt head?
Me: Hai wena... we laughed... He came up to us.
Steve: Hi..We didn't respond him.
Steve: woah okay. Lerato can I speak to my girl?
Lee: Not happening
Me: Who u calling ur girl?
Steve: Babe don't be like that. U've been avoiding me enough and I need to say
something off my chest.
Lee: Ey listen here pretty boy if u thinking coz u the thing wherever u go well here is
where it stops coz u ain't shit. She has nothing to say to u so jus--
Me: Lee ..its okay.... she looked at me.
Lee: Mxxm... ul find me at the corner... she gave Steven a look and walked away...
I looked at him and he looked back. His charming face was kinna affecting me in a way,
his cologne was inviting me for a hug. Somehow his presence was intriguing but seeing
him made me angry. My mind was replaying the words he said to me that day, how
broken I was together with the kiss we shared. Our eyes locked on each other as if we
were talking with our irises. His brown eyes were attracting enough to make me stare at
them. We were silent, until he broke the ice...
Steve:...........

INSERT 10.....
The eye contacting we held was a radical one. He was making me weak but I had to stay
firm because this is the same guy who called me a bitch...
Steve: U've been avoiding me.
Me: No u the one whos been avoiding me.
Steve: I tried calling u.....This guy isn't serious. He tried calling me only once and his
really gonna say that?....
Me: I had things to do.
Steve: Relebogile ...look about Saturday I am---
Me:No need.
Steve: No listen.... It was wrong of me. I brought u to a place u didn't know and it was
suppose to be our first date, but I messed it up. Baby...u see when I drink alcohol, I
become another person that I don't like. That day I was so drunk that I even forgot about
my girlfriend. I didn't know what happend and trust me, when I became sober, I looked
for u. When Britney told me what I did to u I jus couldn't believe it. I rejected u and
mistreated u in the name of alcohol. Im deeply sorry... I looked at his face and it looked
convincing. He looked sorry.The speech he was throwing me with was touching, I felt
like crying and because of that, I didn't know what to say. I was jus quiet....
Steve: I know u hate me right now and I deserve it. But if u give me one last chance, I
swear I'll get it right. Il be the boyfriend u need.... He then reached his hand to his pocket
and fiddled like he was looking for something and took it out and...O....M.....G
.
A very beautiful diamond bracelet was on his hand.
Steve: This is my promise to u. Its should be a symbol to say that at every chance , I'll
treat u right....He took my left hand and slid it on wrist. My Gosh, it looked beautiful. Iv
never been given something like this in my entire life. This was special. The bracelet
was in diamonds I could tell it was a fortune. It even had a small silver strap and on it
was written Steves name. This was really beautiful. He held both my hands and looked
at me.
Steve: So.....am I forgiven?
Me: :) Yes...yes u are...
He smiled at me while getting closer to me and we kissed. For the first time, I felt like
that kiss was magical. Like a long awaited one. It was amazing. We kissed and we
stopped to look at each other.
Steve: I love u.... Did I hear right? My word! He said the 3 words.
Me: Me too... We kissed for the last time and we broke it off.
Steve: I'll call u.
Me: I...I'll be waiting....I was still traumatized with what had jus happend. We walked
our directions with me blushing like a 10 year old whos excited about Christmas. I felt
so loved. I was convinced that he is my one..
. I finally caught up with Lee.
Lee: Tell me I didn't see right...
Me: Look I know..but his really sorry and is willing to make things right. I gave him
another chance.
Lee: Really now? Jesus Christ do u ever listen!!?
Me: Lee would u jus shut up and be happy for me jus once? I choose him. His mine not
ours. Ohh I see now. u want him...
Lee: Wow ...really? after all ive done for u thats what u can say? I have a boyfriend thay
cares about me not a skank like Steve.
Me: Yea u do have one. A broke ass one. U know he cant provide u with anything but
airtime unlike Steve who affords to buy me a diamond bracelet. And since when did
having a boyfriend stop u from clawing other people's boyfriends? Thats ur profession.
U a hoe and cant keep down on guys. Well let me tell u sister his mine and mine only.
Lee: :O .... U know what, iv heard enough. When he hurts u, dont come running to me.
Me: Great coz I know he wont.
Lee: I feel sorry for u.... She walked away... I was so angry at her. Why didn't I see this
coming? shes jealous of our relationship. Jus like everyone else. Steve and I deserve
each other and I wont let her or anyone else tell me other wise. I caught a bus and
headed home.
.
.
I got home and enterd the house and Guess who was there :O :O .........

INSERT 11.....
I made my way up to the sitting room where my parents were sitting together with that
woman....Madipila. Ofcos iv known her all my life but she creeps me. The beads she
wears and the red cloths she dresses in and her short braids that are red and the huge
feather she carries around,and when she starts with those heavy breathing and shouting
when she connects with the ancestors...She was jus weird.
Me: Thobela *greetings*
Them: Age...*greeting back*
I walked up to my room coz I can tell that what they talking about concerns the recent
events. I didn't want to be part of any voodoo tactics. I laid down on my bed and stared
at the bracelet I got. It really brought bling to my hand, as much as Steve brings bling to
my life. For a moment there I thought he was going to propose. Imagine if he had
proposed? Imagine if we were to get married? have kids? build a family? I would really
love that. Me, a mother and a wife.I smiled at that thought. My moment of imagination
was disturbed when I I heard a knock on my door.
Phetollo: Uhm they asking for us in the sitting room.
Me: Okay. Let me change then...He exited the room and I changed into simple clothes.
When I was about to get out of the room, it hit me that I was wearing a bracelet that may
bring suspicion to my parents, so I took it off and put it in my drawer then got out. I
walked to the sitting room and everybody was waiting for me. They were all sitting on
the floor.
Madipila: Take off ur shoes and sit down my girl.... I took off my shoes and sat down on
the floor besides my mother..
Madipila: Now we shall proceed... She took out a small bag of animal skin with things
inside that made tingling sounds, It must be her bones. Then she started doing those
Voodoo sounds again while shaking the bag. The shouting and praising to the ancestors.
"Eyyiii!!!!!! Makhosi!!!!!!!!!heyyiiiii" she shouted. She was also shaking. This was
really creepy. When she calmed down, she opened the bag and leaned it towards my
father and he blew into it, then my mother and she blew into it. Then me and I into
it,then Phetollo followed and blew into it. She brought it towards her again and gave it a
last shake and threw it on the little mat which I could see that it was hand made. She
took her feather thingie and started examining the bones...
Dad: Well. Bareng badimo ( What are the ancestors saying?)
Madipila:Shh..... He kept and she continued examining them then said.....
Madipila: Go nale se se sa kwišišegi mo. (Theres something thats not understandable
here).
Dad: Bjang? (how)
Madipila: O be o bolela nnete. Le wetše ke leswiswi. (U were right. Darkness has fallen
on u)...... She points a certain bone that looked like a long finger and its pointed towards
a red little stone...
Madipila: Wabona mo, badimo ba re bontsha gore ba kwatile. Ba leka go le botša selo
ka go le hlakahlakantsha lena batswadi ba ntlo e. ( You see here, the ancestors show that
they are angry. They trying to show u something by messing u up as parents of this
house)..... My parents looked at each other then back at her.
Madipila: Go swanetse gore go direge se ba se nyakang goba wena mosadi o tlo lwala
wa sa alafiwi,le wena ntate wa gobala bohloko. (What ever they are requesting for must
be done, or else u woman will be sick and wont be cured and u man will be severely
injured)...... What is this woman saying? Like is she for real.... She started doing those
sounds again, waving her feather towards her shoulder and she closed her eyes then
opened them again and looked at me very carefully. I got scared. I didn't know what to
do or say.
Madipila: Ke wena. (its u)
Me: M...ma?
Madipila: Ke wena fela o a ka thusang dihlogo tša lelapa le. (U the only one who can
save the heads of this house).... What!?? Me?
Me: N..nna? (me)?
Madipila: Badimo ba nyaka selo gago. Ge o ka ba direla sona, batswadi bago ba tlo
lokollega (The ancestors want something from u. If u do it for them, ur parents will be
free).
Dad: Ba nyaka a direng? (What do they want her to do? )
Madipila: "Heeeeyyiiiii" a go so bonale ga botse (its not clear yet).. . She packed her
bones into her little bag again... Could it be? My parents are in trouble and im the one to
save them? why me? I don't even believe in ancestors. What do they want from me?
What am I suppose to do?
Madipila: eer.... Nna ka sepela (Im leaving.) .... we all stood up ..
Dad: Ke thabile ge o tlile go re thuša. ( Im glad u came to help us)
Madipila: Ke mošomo waka ebile ke thuša bagwera baka. (Its my job and Im jus helping
my friends out)..... She looked at me...
Madipila: Ke tlo leka ka maatla ohle go tseba gore o swanetse go dirang go lokolla
batswadi bago. O dule gabotse. (I'l try with all my powers to find out what u are suppose
to do to free ur parents. Keep well)...I jus nodded my head. I truly don't know what to
say. She walked out of the house. I went to my room and closed myself inside. I took my
phone and played a song which was my favorite. Moneoa-More than u, this song always
soothes my heart when I felt heavy.
Why are weird things happening to me???
.
.

INSERT 12....
I fell asleep in my thoughts. I don't know for how long I had been sleeping for. I got
interrupted by my phone ringing and I answered without checking the ID...
Me:This is KFC we are not available please call again later or don't call at all.....I was
sleepy and was irritated. Thats how I answer my phone when I ain't in the mood... but
then...
Voice:*chuckles* Is that how u answer ur hubby?.....
huh? I quickly checked the caller ID and it was Steve. Gosh what an embarrassment. I
freaked and even got up.
Me: Ohh....err...hey...
my voice was breaking, I really wasn't expecting his call right now....
Steve: *He chuckled again.* Entlek, what were u doing that u didn't even wanna be
disturbed?
Me: Uhhh nothing. I jus thought u were someone else.
Steve: Right...
Me: Yea sorry.
Steve: Im around ur hood, lets meet at the corner.
Me: Well actually I cant theres a crisis at ho---
Steve: See u in 5 minutes.... He hung up. This guy though... I got up from the bed and
fixed myself. I felt like my top wasn't nice enough, like it was stripped and I know thats
not his kinna thing. I took it off and I wore a nice and simple vest that revealed my
breasts abit and marked my figure perfectly. Now im good. I got out of my room and
came across my mother in the kitchen.
Me: Ma I'll be back jus now
Mom: Where are u going?
Me: To....buy myself something... jus to get some air after what happend.
Mom: Ohh okay. Uhm let me give u some money so u could buy me some tomatoes.....
Arg really? im gonna be roaming around with my boyfriend holding tomatoes? This is
so unfair. She reached out for her money and gave it to me. She then paused and looked
at my shirt.
Mom: I haven't seen u wear that shirt in a while.....
Me: Oh.... I jus wanted to wear today.
Mom: What about the one u were wearing earlier?
Me: Uuhm ....it....it made me feel itchy..
Mom: Ohh okay. Be careful out there.
Me: Sure ma.... I got out of the house and walked to the corner. When I got closer I saw
him there,he was busy with his phone. His so cute that I found myself gazing at him. He
lifted his head up and saw that I was in front of him.
Steve: cupcake... I blushed abit.
Me: Hey Stevie...
Steve: I must say u really listen to ur hubby.
Me:*blushing* hubby? Well we still not in that part yet.
Steve: Ohh trust me we will get married one day....He pulled me closer and baby kissed
me. Then he started kissing while he was talking ...
Steve: We'l get engaged*kiss*..Make the biggest wedding*kiss* ... buy our own house
*kiss*.... Make babies *kiss* And more babies..*kiss* ...and morer babies*kiss* And be
a family.... He then kissed with passion. Mind you, we somewhere in a corner of some
house with a big wall, anyone who passed our path could see us but we didn't care. We
young for crying out loud. A while after we stopped and took a good look at my breasts.
Steve: Damn... Our children are gonna enjoy this.... I blushed , I swear with all this
blushing my cheeks could fall off... We started talking about things u know,romantic
things and a little jokes. We spent a really nice time together. He then held my hand to
kiss it, but stopped and looked at it...
Steve: Relebogile...
Me: Babe...
Steve: Where is the fucking bracelet I gave u... Ohh gosh, how am I gonna escape this?
Me: Uhh....it...its at home.... He looked at me seriously.
Steve: U really didn't forgive me right? I jus gave it to u hours ago and its already off?
wow shoot me for trying to apologise to my girlfriend!!...... He was really shouting and
attracting eyes. Why is he like this?
Me: No baby u see a visitor came to our house so I thought that it wou---
Steve: Know what? Save it... He shifted me away from him and said...... I should've
known u wouldn't easily forgive me.And im sure its that kinky friend of urs. Im
leaving....He started walking away...
Me: Steve! Steve! Steve its not what u think!.... that was useless coz he didn't stop
walking....
"Wow thats very nice Relebogile. U pissed ur boyfriend" I said to myself... I
remembered the tomatoes and went to buy them and returned back home.
.
.
.
Next morning I woke up and did the cleaning. Cleaning is what usually helps clear off
my mind for a while. When I was done I made breakfast but Phetollo is the only one
who was there to eat it. My parents were still asleep and I wasn't in the mood of
digesting anything. I went to lie down on my bed and tried calling Steve, but he didn't
answer. It was now the 11th time I've tried calling him since yesterday. Eventually I
gave up and went to take a bath. When I was done, I went to my room, lotioned and
dressed, then went to the sitting room to watch tv with Phetollo.
Phetollo: U seem down today
Me: Im fine
Phetollo: U didn't even eat anything
Me: Phetollo I said im fine. A ko ong tlogele tuu (Jus leave me alone) .
Phetollo: Woah yah u really stressed..... I didn't have the power to respond him. A while
after there was a knock on the door..
Phetollo: I'll handle it.... He stood up and went to open the door.
Phetolo: Ohh Hi M...Madipila
Madipila: Hi my boy.... He walked her in and they came to the dinning room....
Me: Thobela Madipila.*greetings*
Madipila: Yes my girl. Ke kgopela le mpiletseng batswadi ba lena re tlo kgona go
thoma. ( Please go and call ur parents for me so we can start)....... Really? again today?
A part of me was saying that shes scamming us. Theres no such thing that a person will
be sick without cure. Even HIV/AIDS has a treatment. I got up and walked to my
parents room and knocked on the door. My dad opened the door.
Me: Uhm Hi papa. Madipila is here and shes asking for u guys so we may proceed.
Dad: kay... I walked away to the sitting room and she was already setting up the floor
with her little hand made mat and she set her things aside. This time she was doing
something that intrigued me. She had a little steel plate thats green and it had a bushy
stems of plants on it. The bushy stems were dark. I wondered what she was gonna do
with that. My parents came after some time with my dad helping my mother to walk.
She looked awful. I looked at her with pity and feeling and Madipila touched my
shoulder and I looked at her ...
Madipila: I know its hard. Jus keep up with me and she'l be fine. ... We then settled on
the floor. She took out a little box with brownish things like soil and sprinkled it on the
floor. By the smell I could tell it was snuff... My grandmother liked using it alot to insert
it in her nose when I visited her so I got used to the smell. She then took a match and lit
the bushy plant stems on the plate. Arg they smelled awful, and the smoke that it
released , u'd swear it was tobacco...
She then knelled and started hitting the bag of bones against the floor with her eyes
closed. Then started mumbling praises to the ancestors. I could tell shes connecting with
them. Her praises became intense as well as her shaking, She was starting to shout real
loud and she was doing movements with her upper body as if someones burning it. She
was so intense that I saw a tear fall off her eye. I was starting to become scared. This
was deep. After a very loud "Heeyyyiii" She threw her bones on her mat. She calmed
herself down and opened her eyes to examine the bones. She examined them and
frowned. She was shaking her head as if shes disagreeing with something.
Madipila: Uh-uh .... uh-uh ...haai No.....
Dad: Uhm... Bareng? ( What are they saying?) ....
Madipila: Bare o tswanetse go nyalwa. (They saying she has to get married)
Us: WHAT!!!!!!!??
INSERT 13......
The words that came out of this womans mouth were shocking. I felt like she could say
"You've been pranked" but nah... she was as real as gold...
Dad: What are u saying to us Madipila?
Mom: U not serious. Not my daughter!!!! No!!!
Madipila: Kgomolang!!!(Be quiet)... She started breathing heavily with her eyes closed.
My eyes were already pouring out tears. This cant be. My mother held me closed to her
and made me lay my head on her shoulder. Madipila is insane.... She then opened her
eyes....she said is a slow and steady way...
Madipila: The ancestors have shown me.
Dad: Tell us.
Madipila: Long ago, in times of our great and greater grandparents, there was a girl in
the kaile family. Apparently she fell in love with a boy from another family that were
not yet revealed to me. The man was a prince, and the girl was a poor girl. They were
really really in love..... She starts the shouting sounds again....
Mom: What does that have to do us?
Madipila: can I finish? .... My mother kept quiet.
Madipila: The man and woman wanted to get married to each other, but there was only
one problem. Their families... The king and queen did not like the idea at all. They
tormented the family and the girl. They did all in their power to separate their love. And
then, they ran away together. The kings army looked for them and when they found
them, they wanted to escape from them. And ohhhh.... they drowned themselves in a
cold river. Together. Until today, their souls are not at peace because their wish to get
married was not granted. Now the ancestors want to make this right. They want u to
bring the two families together forever or else, they'l be bloodshed and pain in the
family. Because at this point, whatever is happening to this family, is happening to the
choosen husbands family as well. The mother is sick, the father is injured. They've
bound the both of u through spirit and now they want u to be husband and wife to please
them and end the pain in the family. We have to find that family and that man. His the
chosen one that they have appointed for u before its too late. Im sorty but this is the only
way.....
I cant believe this no this cannot be. I couldn't take this no more. I ran up to my room
and locked myself inside and cried uncontrollably. It cant be. I cant get married at 16.
No.. After a while my father knocked at the door....
Dad: Relebogile!! Relebogile!!! U gonna have to do this. We have no other choice. Dont
u want us to die? Do u want to be an orphan? Open up..... After a while of shouting he
finally left my door. I took my phone and dailed Steves number and as usual, it led to
voicemail. I left a message jus coz I felt like talking to someone. Anyone....
Me: Babe.....babe its me. Im sorry for today. Jus know that u are mine and im urs. No
matter what. U are mine and I am urs. I hung up and cried so much. my heart was
aching. In no time I fell asleep......
.
.

INSERT 14.....

Life is so unfair. It gives u something but then takes away another to give u something
bad. I once heard a pastor say Children suffer for their parents sins. Today I had had a
clear vision of that. Because of a mistake thats happend in the past, my happiness and
youth is put on the deadline...... I opened my eys to find the sun penetrating the room,
filling it with light. Why cant it fill my life with light? The thoughts on my mind were
driving me insane. I felt like my mind is hypnotized. I heard a knock on my door. I
didn't want to face anyone so I remained in that position. "Lebo...lebo open up, plz" I
could hear that it was my brother. I dragged myself out of bed ,unlocked the door then
threw myself on the bed again. He came in holding a tray with soft porridge,milk and
sugar on it.
Me: Phetollo im not hungry
Phetollo: U didn't come to eat last night so u have to. Other wise u'l be as thin as that
little boy in my Natural Science text book... I laughed abit....
Me: ohh Tollo I told u the boy in the text book is an example of kwashiokor. I don't have
a huge stomach.
Phetollo: U will if u don't eat.... I looked at him and took the plate, put in some sugar
and milk and started eating...
He looked at me...
Phetollo: Sis...uhm what are u gonna do about this?
Me: I ain't gonna do anything. I ain't getting married to some man jus coz the ancestors
want me to. What about what I want?
Phetollo: Ohh okay. Uhm dad cut himself yesterday and it a very bad cut. He bled a
flood. He kept on saying that u need to put ur acts down together and do what they say.
Me: I wouldn't be surprised he'd do anything jus for me to leave.... He looked down...
Me: U agree with him?
Phetollo: What? No. I dont know.But whatever decision u take, make sure its
worthwhile. But think of our parents... He stood up and left my room. Jus then I get a
call from Steve...
Me: Hello
Steve: I got ur message yesterday... whats wrong cupcake?
Me: Uhhm uhh.....
How do I tell him? say "oh baby im getting married for my parents" How would he
react? I don't wanna lose Steve. No....
Steve: Cupie.... Talk to me
Me: I....I was feeling bad about yesterday. It hurt me.
Steve: Baby its fine. Im over that right now. Relax.
Me: Uhhm okay...
Steve: Got to go. Love u.
Me:I lo--- before I could even finish he hung up. I continued eating my porridge until
the bowl was clear and I got up and went to the kitchen. Jus when I was about to enter I
saw my mother crying and holding her head against the kitchen counter. I slowly entered
the kitchen and put the tray down.
Mom: I failed u.
Me: Theres no such thing.
Mom: How do we get out of this? Lebo do u know what marriage is? especially to
someone whos been chosen for u? Its not a play. Some of my friends had been done the
same when I was young. Most of them were sold to a rich man to be their wife. I never
imagined that it could happen to my own daughter. I failed u.
Me: U didn't mama no u didn't.... She got up and started walking out the kitchen. I
started realizing how painful this is for everyone. The house in torn because of this. And
that I am the one with a task to make was hard...
.
.
.
Later on I was watching tv in the sitting room then I heard a knock. I went to open and It
was a postman.
Him: Hi I believe this envelope is for the Kaile family.... I took it and looked at it. It was
not too big but had something in the bag that seemed like money.
Him: Please sign... I did so and he left. I glanced at it but put my intentions aside and put
it nicely on dinning room table then went back to watching tv. Some time later Dad
came. He looked like he haven't slept for days and I know when he's like that, he drank
more than enough alcohol. Was it really worth it? we cant really drown this issue in
alcohol. I looked at him and saw a bandage on his right hand then I remembered
Phetollo saying something about him cutting himself yesterday. He looked at me....
Me: Uhhm papa .... I stood up ..... This envelope came in jus an hour ago.
Dad: Did they say where its from?
Me: Uhm no....He took it and looked at it and started opening.
Dad: So....are u fine?
Me: Im okay..... I sat down....
Dad started reading the letter thats in the envelope. He looked rather shocked and
drastic. He also held something that looked like a picture. His facial expression was
confusing. Like he was confused himself...
Dad: Oh My God. Gertrude!!!!! Gertrude!!!!! .....
I looked at him...
Me: Dad....is there anything wrong?
Dad: Gertrude!!!! ..... My mom can rushing in the lounge. She was so much in pain but
I could see she dragged herself to run a few steps. She was breathing heavily... Mom:
Keng? Go nale bothata? (What is it? is there a problem?)
Dad: call Madipila....
Mom: Whats wrong?
Dad: Jus call her. This envelope is good news.... I looked at him and he seemed pleased
but worried at the same time ..... What could be in the envelope?.....
.
.
.

INSERT 15.....
Moments later I was in my room thinking my brain out about what exactly is in that
envelope. I was pouring my mind off until it hit me "Ofcos....Why didn't I think of it...
Whats in the envelope must be an option to save me from this ridiculous situation. It
must be my relatives standing against it and bringing forth a solution. The picture must
be a picture of the girl from the past" I started smiling and jumping all around the room
like a maniac. I don't know what got over me but the hope in me was driving all over my
emotions. I was disturbed by a knock on the door. Arg now what do they want? I opened
the door and it was Phetollo.
Phetollo: Uhm They asking for u in the sitting room.
Me: Is it important?
Phetollo; Seems so..
Me: Okay ...... I followed him to the sitting room where both my parents and the woman
Madipila were already seated with the envelope cover on the table and a stack of money
ontop of it. I sat myself down and waited for them to get over what they called me for...
Madipila: Go bjang nana? (How are u? )
Me: Im fine.
Madipila: U should. We have great news...
My face lit. I found myself smiling. I was hoping that the envelope was ment to explain
how much of a huge mistake this is.
Madipila: I see ur excited already. Ishmael tell her....
I looked at my dad with his side smile then I ran my eyes across my mother. She seemed
sad and so hurt. Isn't suppose to be happy? I hadn't realized that I had been deep in
thoughts until Madipila called out my name.
Madipila: Relebogile...
Me: M...ma?
Madipila: Are u listening?....
I nodded my head and looked at her.
Dad: We have found ur choosen husband...
My little smile I had on my face slowly turned into a frown. My heart stopped for a
moment. My little bubble of joy was bursted. Tears already were threatening to leave my
eyes.
Me: W...what?
Dad: Yes. His family has written us a letter. Apparently they have a sangoma guiding
them by the name of mokoto-what what...whats his name again?
Madipila: Mkhonto
Dad: Oh ya... Using the sangomas description of us in his visions they were able to hire
a PI who tracked us and they sent us the letter. Look they even included an amount of
R5 000 to plead with us. They seem to be wealthy and respectful.
Madipila: Don't forget I said the man was a prince, the family is royalty obviously
wealth is included in their profile. So u my girl are gonna be part of the Shezi family....
Tears started streaming down my face.
Madipila: No don't cry my girl. Be happy coz u are saving ur parents. And u are not
having a downfall. His a cute young man from a rich family..... She showed me a picture
of a guy. Indeed he was cute. He had a cappuccino-like complection, cute dark eyes with
long lashes and thick eyebrows and cute lips. He was cute. But didn't change the fact
that il have to marry him without my approval and that made me real sad.....
Me: No...
Madipila: What? u think his not cute? look at him he---
Me: No..... I don't care about his cuteness or such! I don't want him or want to get
married to him or anyone! No I don't want!
Madipila: My girl. I know its hard but ----.....
I knelt down on my feet and bursted into tears...
Me: Please.... Please
Dad: Relebogile don't...
Me: Daddy please im begging u. This is too much for me. I can't. Papa please. There has
to be another solution. I know u want to get rid of me but believe me dad this is not a
solution. I promise I'l be a better daughter jus dont do this....
I could tell that my crying and begging was painful to watch because their eyes to me
returned as eyes of pity. Like I was a poor person begging for a slice. But I wasn't
begging for a slice, I was begging for my life and every tear had to play the part. My
mom was feeling the rush and she stood up and looked at them...
Mom: Ishmael. Shes right..
Dad: My love there is no other way...
Mom: I'v had enough of this. Truly I have. I can't let my daughter suffer like that.
Marriage at 16 ?
Dad: We will die...
Mom: Oh really? then so be it. I'd rather die than to let my daughters life be a living hell.
I brought her in this world to protect her and to make her happy. Not lead her in a lions
den to make her live in sorrow. Ishmael I'd rather die!!!!!!
Madipila: That would be useless MaKaile. This is a generational curse. The ancestors
have tried for so many years to bound these families but have failed and will try in every
generation until what they want is granted. Even if u die and shes saved if she gets a
daughter in future and the choosen husband gets a son the same thing happening to u and
his parents will happen to them as well. Theres no way out...
My mother went down on her knees too....
Dad: Gertrude....Gertrude don't
Mom: Please. Kaile ...Kaile kobe... Please....
With both of us both at our knees the situation was now harder..
Madipila: Im sorry but theres no way out. They'll never be peace in the family. They'l
always be badluck and pain and misery....
Dad: Fine.... Il find a solution.
We got up and thank him with the deepest of our hearts. Madipila looked at him with
straight eyes. It wasn't long until she requested to leave. My dad walked her out n it was
me and my mother in the sitting room.....
Me: Mama....Thank u. What u did ma it was amazing. Thank u....
Mom: No... I did something that any mother would do....Tell u what? Lets go and cook.
I have this new recipe and I think we'd like it.
Me: :) Okay....
We stood up and headed for the kitchen... Cooking with my mother was the best thing
ever in the world. We were making jokes and all. Singing and gossiping. Anything a
mother would do with a daughter. I loved my mother. But don't wanna lose her. Am I
being selfish for declining? I mean the only thing im thinking about is my future. But
what about theirs? Anyway we finished cooking, dished up and ate. The new recipe
turned out fine and we enjoyed it to the fullest. During the meal, dads phone rang. He
stood up and went to answer it in the next room, which was awkward, coz whenever we
he gets a call in the middle of the meal he ignores it until his done. Maybe it was
important. We got done with eating and washed the dishes then headed for our room.
Again, i tried calling Steve but he was unavailable. I started wondering why exactly is
he alway not available. Maybe he sleeps early or something. None of my business
though. I took out the bracelet he gave me and looked at it as if I was looking at Steve....
"I ....jus ducked a bullet. I know u and I are ment to be. U my one. not this what they call
Shezi guy that I don't even know. U the one I should get married to. I love u" .....I held it
close against my chest and in no time I drifted off to sleep.......
.
.

INSERT 16......
"You know you're cute right?"
I blushed. Me-"I know" I looked at him deep in the eyes and said "I love u Steve"
"I love u t---" BOOM a gunshot went through and suddenly he froze with his mouth
bleeding. I screamed my lungs out as he went down slowly with me trying to hold his
head up to my lap. " Baby.....Baby don't do this ...Please don't leave me" I heard a
devious laugh and I looked up only to find the prince with a gun in his hand... "If u don't
wanna marry me, no one u love will"
Me: U are sick. U are terribly sick....
I got up the floor and tried running for it but he caught up and held me by my hair...
Me: Ahhhhh Ouch....U hurting me!!!!!
"Common babe. Lets do it. Lets die together like they did.We are bound baby"
Me: No u freaking moron let me go!.... He pulled me near a river around the park. I was
literally begging for my life but he didn't care. He was pulling me with my hair so tight I
felt a headache coming through. When we got there he looked at me...
"Now or never"
Me: Stop it. stop this nonsense...
" U don't listen Woman. Rather u die" He pushed me and I started falling into the river
and I closed my eyes ...
Me: Ahhhhhh!!!! I opened my eyes and I was in my room on my bed. I was breathing
heavily and my bed was wet with sweat as well as my night dress.
Me: It was jus a dream. It was jus a dream. Jus a dream..... I looked around for my phone
to check the time and it was past 11. Wow I've never over slept anytime past 9. The
dream. I wondered what it ment. The prince killing me? Its obviously. If I was to get
married to him, My marriage would be hell. There is no way this marriage is happening.
I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth then went to the sitting
room. I found my mother watching tv with her feet on the sofa...
Me: Morning ma
Mom: Should I say afternoon? Its almost 12. U must've had a goodnight sleep to wake
up this late.
Me: Uhhh yea.... dreams and all
Mom: Dreams? Did u dream something?.....
I don't wanna worry my mom so I couldn't tell her.....
Me: No jus weird teddy bears flying around....
She chuckled..
Mom: That shows that u still a kid
Me: Hey im I'll be 18 soon
Mom: Pssh and u still have to wait two years for that.
Me: Im sure Madipila has a potion to assist me with that....... We both laughed...
Mom: Ur dad wouldn't like to hear that.
Me: Speaking of which, where is he?
Mom: He went out an hour ago. He said he had something to do.
Me: Mhhh maybe he had exams to mark. It ain't easy being a teacher in a public school.
There are alot of learners so marking each paper needs focus.
Mom: U starting to sound like him with his "You know how hard it is to be a teacher?
You must first be a leader" Speech....
Me: Hahaha ma.
Mom : and ur brother saw an opportunity then when he left so he went to soccer
practice.
Me: Okay... I'll get on with cleaning.
Mom: No don't. Relax. Theres oats in the kitchen if u want breakfast.
Me: Okay ma..... I walked to the kitchen and dished up for myself and ate, I washed the
plate and went to my room to tidy things up and my phone rang,It was my boo.... I
answered....
Him: Cupie
Me: U know that name is weird for me?
Him: Should I call u cakie? it would sound weider
I Smiled
Me: Why do u call me cupcake?
Him: Ur kisses are as sweet as cupcakes ofcos
Me: U crazy.
Him: Yea thats my name. What are u up to?
Me: Nothing much. Jus tidying up my room.
Him: Okay. Can we meet at the park near the train station?
Me: Uhh sure. Jus give me an hour.
Him: Okay. See u cupie
Me: See u.... We switched calls. How I love this guy. Iv never been inlove before and at
my first shot in love I am In love. I got done and danced my way to the bathroom and
took a bath singing out songs of love like a love sick puppy. I wasn't a bad singer so my
singing was pretty much jolly.
" And all my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too" I sang with the tip of my voice. After realising that
i'v spent some time in the bathtub I got out and wrapped myself with a towel and got
out. I lotioned myself then got dressed, this time I didn't leave the bracelet. I went out
and found My mother sleeping on the coach. I didn't wanna bother her so I jus left and
walked over to the park. I got to the park and texted him that im here. The park looked
familiar though. In a minute he got there and we exchanged a kiss.
Steve: Hey
Me: Hey
Steve: U look pretty
Me: Thanks. U not bad urself
Steve: Oh please I look awesome..
I laughed and we started bonding and exchanging kisses here and there.
Me: Why did u suggest that we meet up here?
Steve: Well kissing at our corner, we might get seen by someone who isn't suppose to
see us. Imagine ur mom taking a walk there and found us there...
Me: Ow.....yea u right.....
Steve: Lets take a walk...... We got up and started walking holding each other until we
came to a certain river. Wait a minute...... It made sense. Its the park in my dreams and
this is where I fell into. I started getting uncomfortable....
Me: Steve...Lets get out of here
Steve: What? Why?
Me: I had a dream about this park we need to go.
Steve: Dream? woah woah woah What dream?
Me: U were shot here and I was pushed into the river
Steve: Shot? by who?
Me: By....my so called fiance
Steve: Why would he---- Wait what? Fiance? Ur engaged!!?
Me: Its a long story
Steve: Iv got time
Me: I don't know where to start
Steve: The beginning ofcos.....
Oh God. Well its now or never. I took a deep breath and started explaining to him. From
the illness and accident to the Madipila saga then to the dream. I got done and waited for
him to say something ...
Me: Steve say something....
Steve: Im waiting for it .
Me: For what?
Steve: The part where u say "im joking" coz thats a pretty good joke.
Me: I wish I could but its true
Steve: It cant be. And u never told me? You are persuaded to marry someone u don't
know and u don't tell me?
Me: My father said he'll find a solution. He'll save us
Steve: I cant even look at u. U make me sick. Damn Relebogile......
He started walking away....
Me: Steve! Steve! Please...
He didn't listen. He jus walked on. I started crying. It hurt me. His hurt and I hurt him. I
cant lose him. I sat on the bench and cried my eyes out. My life is a wreck.....
.
.
.

INSERT 17.....
After a while of crying my eyes out I got the courage to stand up and started walking
home. The park was a distance away from home, so I took about an hour walking back
home. The walk was worth it though,It made me feel like not crying in front of people.
The road seemed smaller to me. Everything around me seemed small. My world was
small. Thats jus how much Steve ment to me. I never thought I'd fall in love but here I
am. Sobbing over a guy I hurt. This thing we call life is funny indeed. I tried calling him
while walking back home but he kept on rejecting my calls? How do I fix this? I tried
my level best to fight my tears throughout my walk and I did fine. I finally got home
and entered the house only to find my uncle Thomas, uncle Ben and aunt Mokgadi
sitting down in the sitting room. I wonder what they are doing here.... I went to the
sitting room..
Aunt Mokgadi: Finally...I was about to call a search party for u.
Me: Uhhm Thobelang *greetings*
Them: Age *greetings*
Uncle Ben: Ey u have grown my girl....
I pulled a fake smile...
Me: Thank u malume....
Mom on the other hand wasn't settled. She looked uneasy which was awkward because
she always felt comfortable when they were around. She was all quietand looking aside,
but her face could tell that she was angry at something.
Me: Uhhm may I be excused? I have a headache and I wanna go and lie down abit.
Aunt Mokgadi: Ahhh really? I was about to tell u about my trip to Senegal....
Aunt Mokgadi is one of those relative who have money and important jobs that send
them oversees and she always tells me about her trips. But with this heavy heart, I don't
think the telling would do me good coz I wasn't in the mood...
Me: Uhm next time
Aunt Mokgadi: Ohh okay...
I headed up to my room and locked myself inside. I threw myself on the bed and started
my RnB session. In a moment I fell asleep... Hours later I woke up and decided to take a
bath. I drowned my body in the water for a long time I didn't even realize that the water
went cold. I got out and got in my night dress and night gown then headed over to the
kitchen. I was shocked to see my uncles and aunt still around coz when they usually
visit, they dont spend much time coz Witbank is very far from Polokwane. Literally
hours of driving, so I figured they spending the night .They already dished up and were
already sitting around the dinning table so i joined them and dished up for myself then
started eating...
Uncle Ben: Hmm Ayi skoni, this tastes great. Hmm delicious indeed...
My mother looked at him with a deadly stare and in a low voice she responded...
Mom: Thanks....
I could sense that theres tension going on in the house that has something to do with
their visit. Dad was really quiet and it was weird coz he likes talking much. The table
was quiet until Aunt Mokgadi broke the ice....
Aunt Mokgadi: Uhm so Lebo....are u ready?
Me: Ready for?
Aunt Mokgadi: Common
Me: What...
Aunt Mokgadi: Ur wedding ofcos.
Me: Im not following...
They looked at me with gaze. I looked at my mother and she was holding a deadly stare
at my father...
Aunt Mokgadi: U are getting married right? Like...why do u think we're here? U'l be
leaving tomorrow with us to the lobola negotiations....
Wait ..... I didn't hear right.
Me: What are u talking about?
She looked at my father...
Uncle Thomas: Baby girl. Ur dad fetched us to help with the lobola negotiations for u....
I cant believe this... After he said he'd come up with a solution... But why... I looked at
him...
Me: Papa.... Why? U said u'd come up with a solution
Dad: Relebogile theres no way out. This has to be done. No one has a say in this.
Me: I don't want to get married.
Dad: We are not asking u. We telling u. Its either u do it or u declare yourself
disowned.... With that said he stood up and walked to his room. Everyone else was
motionless. They were shocked poping out their eyes like a chicken laying eggs. I on the
other hand was traumatized. Never have I ever imagined my own father do this to me.
This was the very last level of cruelty. I couldnt battle the tears in my eyes they just
came flooding out my eyes. I stood up and ran to my room. How could he do this to me?
Why? My body felt like dust and I sat on the ground bursting out tears. I cant get
married. Most especially after the dream I had about my so called husband-to-be. This
can't happen. I needed to come up with a plan.... I started thinking until it hit me "
O....ofcos. Why didn't I think of this? Its a great idea. im gonna runaway." Ohh yes. Im
gonna escape the house tonight and run away. They wont leave with me tomorrow. Not
happening..I took out my sports bag and started packing my clothes up but realized im in
my pjs so I changed into a black shirt, black tight, black benie and black pumps. I got
done with packing my clothes and I went to the window. My bedroom windows was big
and without butler proof so it would be easy for me to escape. I carefully without sound
skipped my bag outside then I followed and carefully closed my window. I picked up
my bag and skipped it over the gate then I climbed it and got out to the other side and
looked at the house ..... "Im sorry but I have to do this.....im sorry"..... I walked away in
the darkness of the night.......
.
.
.

INSERT 18....
Each step I took as I was walking made me realise what I was doing. It was very late in
the evening yet I was in the street with a bag, without a plan of accommodation. A part
of me was saying I should go back, but I couldn't. Why would I want myself to be sold.
Im doing this for my freedom, and have a price to pay. Freedom is not free. Sacrifices
are made. If I have to depart from my parents house for my freedom, then so it shall be. I
continued walking along the pavement and I got to the corner. It was very dark and
everything was jus covered in black. Jus like my life. As I got closer to the corner, I
heard voices. I couldn't make out what they were saying. Surprising enough I didn't back
down, I continued walking. When I got there I came across 3 boys who looked like
street kids. They looked dirty and smelt like glue. Their shirts were torn and discolored
and two of them was without shoes, their hair looked like dry grass and they were thin
but scary. As soon as they saw me they stood up. I got so scared I didn't know what to
do. One stood behind me so that I would run off. They did a circle around me and gave
me real intimidating looks. I was so terrified and swallowed hard. I looked at them
trying to figure out what they wanna do. They looked hungry as if they about to attack...
Me: H....hi....
They didn't respond me
Me: Uhhm I....was going some...where a....nd im in a rush so if u can jus shift abit for
me to pass..... I tried walking through an open space but one of them blocked my path.
God why is this happening. One came closer to me giving me a scary look and I looked
back. I could feel sweat coming down my face. I tried taking a step back but the one
who was behind me didn't make that successful for me. He looked at my bag very
carefully and I held on to it tighter. He suddenly landed his hands on it and I resisted....
Me: Hey....this is mine. leave it.... He made it lose grip on my hand and it came towards
him but I got hold of it and we were both pulling it towards ourselves. The others came
to me to pull me back so I could let go of it but I was fighting. I started screaming for
help.
Me: Helllp!!! Help!!!.....
They kept on fighting with me until I lost grip and the bag slid out of my hand. The guy
started opening it while the other two held each side of my arms...
Me: Hey thats mine!!Give it back!!!!.... He kept fiddling in my bag.
Voice: Hey..... We heard a male voice.... The guys got freaked out and looked over to
the side and
it was some guy. I couldn't really see him it was too dark. ...
Him: Let her go...
One guy said ...."ey uzoyenzani? "
The guy got closer and out of no where he punched the boy holding my bag and he fell
down. The other boys got terrified and let go of me. The boy who got punched got up
and started running away and the others followed. I slowly with my body trembling and
shaking went down and picked up my bag on the floor and gathered the things that fell
out of it then closed it. ...
Him: Are u okay?.....
I jus nodded. The way I was so scared my voice couldn't even let out a sound. He helped
up but I resisted myself from him.
Me: Im....fine....
Him: Where are u heading to I can take u there.
Me: No..no im fine. I'l go there myself...
Him: Not in the state u in. Come my car is jus a few steps from here.... I looked at him....
Him: I wont hurt u... Promise....
I got to think first but then what the heck, after what happend I wasn't about to wonder
around the street alone. I followed him to a car. It was a white bantam and had things at
the back so I could tell that he was delivering things. We got to the car and another guy
was sleeping on the passanger seat....
Him: Ey wena wake up....
The guy in the car got up...
The guy: Well u took ur time
Him: Sorry I got caught up in something.
The guy: Ohhh and u scored one hey. Hello my lady...
Him: Nah man. She needs a lift...
The guy: Oh alright. We happy to help u.... He got out so I could sit in the middle of the
driver and passanger seat. I first looked at the guy who helped me and he gave me the
'go ahead' look. I gave the benefit of the doubt and went in. I sat in the middle of the two
seats holding my bag so tight. They both got in and the engine started and we drove
off..... . .
.
.
.

INSERT 19.....

The ride was rather uncomfortable. Not that I wasnt sitting in a comfortable way but I
felt uncomfortable being with two guys in a car. Guys that I don't know. For sure , they
looked like good guys and they were nice but I felt like they were too good to be true. I
was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't even hear the guy who saved me ask a question
until he snapped fingers on my face...
Him: Are u here?
Me: Huh? oh yea...
Him: U look worried
Me: Il be fine.
Him: I was asking u that what are u doing here so late at night?....
I couldn't tell him that I escaped home. I didn't wanna seem like a foolish girl. So I
lied....
Me: Uhm I.... I was in..... Johannesburg and I came to visit here but then I got here late
and no taxis are available at this hour so I knew I had walk home.
Him: Alone though? Like isn't there anyone who could've fetched u and take u home?
Me: Uhm no...
The other guy: How old are u anyway?
Me: Me?
The other guy: Yea. u look young.
Me: Uhmm...
Him: Dude don't u think its inappropriate to ask a girl her age?
The other guy: Nah man im jus asking.
Him: Alright... Uhm I need to deliver the last package to some store near the complex,
after the delivery we'l take u home alright?
Me: Okay.... He drove up to a pharmacy thats jus at the edge of the complex. I realized
that im at Steve's neighborhood. His house isn't much of a distance from here. The guys
got out and started unloading boxes and near the pharmacy there was an old man who
looked like he had been waiting for them to arrive holding.a book and a pen. As they
carried the boxes into the pharmacy, he was writting down on the book. He must be
stock taking. While battling with myself with where I should go, I realize that I cant jus
depend on mysterious guys I jus met on the street. I decided that I go to Steve's house. I
opened the car door and stepped out of the car and the guys came back after carrying
what seemed to be the last box. They both looked at me...
Him: Uhh is everything okay?
Me: Uhm yea. I....I jus realized that im in my aunts neighborhood and the house is jus
around the corner so its okay from here.
Him: Sure? We can drop u straight at the gate
Me: I'l be fine!
The other guy: Woah no need to get all Charlie's Angel on us. We jus wanna help u. U
can come with us to a hotel
Me: No... Uhm thanks for saving me and for the lift. I really appreciate it but for now its
bye ..
The other guy: U not even gonna give us ur number?
Me: Uhh
Him: Dude cut it...
The other guy: Don't tell me to cut it. I mean we helped this chick and suddenly she
wants to leave up like that? Did u steal something from the car?
Me: What?
The other guy: Whats exactly in that bag young lady?
Him: Ok bro u becoming out of line now....
This guy was really pissing me. Did I look like a thief? What the heck?
Me: U know what? im leaving.
The guy blocked my path...
The other guy: Not so fast. Not until we see whats in this bag?
Me: No.... I pushed myself through him and made a way for myself then started running.
I could hear the guy who saved me shouting out for me but I didn't care. I continued
running. When I got to the corner of Steve's house I slowed down and tried catching my
breath and started walking. I remember him mentioning something about his parents
being away for the holiday and he'll be alone with his brother i. the house so I know its
safe for me to go to his house, but I didn't wanna be an intruder so I decided that I
should call him. The neighborhood is smart and nice. Its urbanic and there are street
lights so I could see the road properly. I took out my phone and dailed his number and
my call got rejected. Oh God. He must not desert me now. I tried it again and again until
I was now at his gate. I tried for the last time and tears were flowing from my eyes.
Luckily he answered...
Him: " Arg Relebogile get a break tjo I don't wanna talk to u right now so bye"
Me: Wait Steve....Please don't...Please im begging u. Jus don't hang up....
I was still struggling to breath properly and I was crying so my voice sounded very
different and sad... I heard him take a deep breath...
Him: " Im listening"
Me: Im outside ur gate
Him: " What?? Are u serious? this late? "
Me: Steve im dead serious.
Him: "Alright. Im coming" ....
He hung up and I waited for him. It was really cold and I was shaking with my tears
falling from my eyes.
"Why me?" I said to myself. Seconds later I felt the gate automatically open itself. Steve
lived in a lavish double storey with electronic devices. Yes...He was partly rich. I slowly
stepped in the yard and I heard the front door opening then saw him coming towards me.
He looked at me...
Steve: Relebogile? What is this? Why u--.....
I couldn't respond him. I was shaking and had tears in my eyes. I felt throwing myself
towards his arms. I was so cold and he noticed that.
Steve: Know what? Come in
.. I walked towards him and he took my bag and held it for me while his other arm was
around my shoulder. We walked together into the house and I saw two guys in the living
room who were playing video games. The house was nice and cosy, most of it was red.
When the guys took notice of me they stopped their video gaming and looked at me.
Guy 1: And then?
Guy 2: Whos that?
Guy 1: And what happend to her?
I still had tears around my face so I figured thats the reason they shocked.
Steve: Guys jus carry on with whatever u doing. Baby lets go....
We walked upstairs and entered a room with posters of artists around. Mostly Eminem.
His pics were all over the room,otherwise the room looks nice but messy. Clothes were
all over the floor. He put my bag down on the bed and sat on it looking at me.
Steve: Mind telling me what this is about?
Me: Uhhm look iv had a long day okay ...
He didn't say anything further
Me: Uhm may I take a bath. Please....
He looked at me then stood up,went to the closet and took out a towel then handed it to
me.
Him : The third room on ur left.
Me: Thank u..... I took off my shoes and went out. I counted the rooms and I found the
bathroom. I entered and closed the door then opened the tap. The bathroom was nice and
had blue tiles. It smelt great too. This family must be clean freaks. I started undressing
and I got in the bathtub. I laid there thinking about what happend today. So much drama
for a day. How did my life get so complicated overnight? Why am I suffering like this?
Whats my next step? After a while I got done and got out of the bathtub. I wrapped
myself with the towel,drained the water and got out. I found my way back to the room
and closed the door. I took out my pjs and wore them then sat on the bed. Steve entered
jus as I was done holding a cup of coffee.
Steve: I brought u coffee since I saw that u were cold..... I took it
Me: Thank u....
He looked at me
Me: Any problem?
Steve: I still wanna know what my girl is doing here at this time of the night...
I looked down....
Me: I...escaped from my house
Steve: What?
Me: They were gonna leave with me tomorrow to the so called negotiations. I couldn't
let them sell me.
Steve: So u ran away ?
I nodded my head...
Steve: Ohh baby. U could've called me.
Me: Actually I did. Remember
Steve: Yea sorry about that
Me: Its cool...
Then it was silent.
Steve: If u need anything jus tell me okay?
Me: Uhm I actually wanna sleep now. Im tired...
Steve: Ohh right .... He got up and prepared the bed for me and I got in...
Steve: Goodnight babe..
I smile
Me: Goodnight...
He took the cup and started walking....
Me: Ohh and Steve...
He turned and looked at me...
Me: I love u.. .
He came closer to me and baby kissed me on my lips...
Steve: I love u too.... He got up and walked out. I started thinking about what would my
family say when they realize im not there or if they've already noticed that im
gone....With those thoughts my eyes slowly shut and in no time I dozed off......
.
.
.

INSERT 20.....
I was awoken by loud music playing downstairs. I got up and looked around. Everything
was so clean and arranged. I got up and took my toothbrush from my bag and headed to
the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and washed my face and walked out. I walked
downstairs slowly and I found those two guys in the living room with their feet on the
table. The house was quite a mess. Snacks all over the floor, bottles of alcohol and shoes
all over the place. Man it was a mess. My heart was fainting for this house because it
was very beautiful. Don't know why they'd be so reckless. They were playing video
games jus as yesterday while playing loud music. That was crazy coz it was about 7 in
the morning....
Me: Morning....
They didn't respond so I figured they didn't hear me.
Me: Morning!!!
One stopped and looked at me. Immediately the other did too and he took the remote
and switched off the the music....
guy 1: U saying something?
Me: Uhm I...I was jus saying goodmorning...
Guy 1: Ohh ok....
They went back to playing games and blasting music. Geez talk about boys and attitude.
I left them there and walked around seeking for the kitchen. I finally found it and boy oh
boy.... :O .... Chaos... it looked like a bomb blew up in there. Food all over the place and
it was smelling real bad. Socks on the microwave, Shirt on the fridge and something
caught my attention.... a bikini on the kitchen counter. All the mess in there made me
really lose my appetite. Near the door there was a vegetable rack with fruits and they
looked clean and neat. I decided to take atleast an apple and a banana. One thing I know
about teens. Leave them with all kinds of food and ul find them a mess except for fruits
and vegies. I washed the apple and walked out. I could find Steve anywhere I wondered
where he was. I went back to the living room and the boys were still playing games.
Man I felt like the house could have loadshedding. They were so focused on the tv game
they didn't even care about my presence....
Me: Hey have u seen Steve?....
Again they ignored me...
Me: Hey!!!!!
Again they stopped and looked at me then switched off the music...
Me: Have u seen Steve??
Guy 2: He went out.
Me: Ow.... ohk....
Guy 1: Issat all?
Me: Yep... They resumed their game. I started touring around the house and it had alot
of paintings. Seemed like his parents are art lovers and also a family picture plated
against the wall. It was beautiful. I was gazing at it and thoughts of my family kicked in.
I stared at it for very long until I felt arms around my waist. I freaked out and moved
myself away quickly...
Steve: Woah babe chill. Its me...
Me: Hooo.... u scared me
Steve: Sorry...
Me: Its okay.....
He pulled me closer and kissed me on my lips. I loved this moment. He stopped....
Steve: So how did u sleep?
Me: I slept well.
Steve: Thats good.
Me: Very lovely house u have here
Steve: Thanks. Maybe one day we'll get our own house....
I smile...
Steve: And she smiles.
Me: Stop it.
Steve: Alright. Uhm me and the guys downstairs are going out somewhere right now. I'l
be back after few hours or so.
Me: So im gonna be alone?
Steve: Yea. Is there a problem?
Me: Uhm not at all.
Steve: Okay.... He kissed my cheek and started walking then stopped...
Steve: Ohh and cupie? Mind doing a lil favour?
Me: Yea?
Steve: Uhm the place needs to be clean. Mind solving that? .....
What!! Seriously!!!!? This rat house!? And im suppose to clean it? But I couldn't decline
coz this very same house is keeping me safe now that I have no home...
Me: Uhm....y....yea ...sure.
Steve: Sweet. Ohh the cleaning utensils are in the little store room in the kitchen. Jus a
door along side the last kitchen counter...He blew a kiss at me and walked away.
Moments later I heard the car and the gate open up. I went back to the living room... "
Okay so where do I start. Ohh God" I looked around and this place was really a mess. I
got to the mini store room and indeed I found the cleaning materials. I took cleaning
gloves and a refuse bag then started clearing up the place. Im talking about papers on the
floor, chocolate wrappers and a hell of a lot of bottles. When I picked everything in the
kitchen I went to the living room and cleared up the place. There were dirty socks but I
didn't care. I jus put them in the bag. When everything seemed to be in set, I tied the bag
and found a bin outside and threw the bag in it. I went back to the mini store room and
took cleaning cloths with cleaning chemicals and started properly. Made sure it was
spotless and without a stain then did the same with the living room. Arranged the sofas
in order and and placed the jawsticks in a proper way. I went back to the kitchen and
washed a mountain of dishes with food stains that looked like the plate was used around
last week. " Mom would freak if she saw this" I washed the dishes and figures where
each were suppose to be then started sweeping the place. After sweeping I mopped the
kitchen and vacuumed the living room since it was covered in carpet. I went upstairs and
cleaned the bathroom which wasn't much of work. Then headed to the room. I noticed
the clothes that were all over the floor last night were actually shove under the bed. I
took them out and packed them properly. I dusted up the room and found a packet of
condoms on the floor. The package was opened and there were atleast 4 condoms left. "
Must be his brother's or his friend's " I said to myself and put them in his drawer nicely.
I vacuumed the room and it was nice and clean. Trust me with cleaning coz seriously I
clean. I got done and took a look around the house. It was really clean and beautiful. Jus
the way it should be. I put the cleaning utensils back in the mini store room and went to
take a shower. Got out and lotioned then dressed up in a red dress with my hair hanging
around. I went downstairs and watched tv. A while after Steve came in with one guy. He
was first astonished by the place as well as the other guy. I jus smiled ...
Steve: Woah....
Guy: Did u call the cleaning company?
Steve: Uhm nah. Man its my princess over there.
Guy: U did this? ....He asked looking at me
Me: Yea. .
Guy: Woah I bet ur manicure's ruined
Me: I didn't do one any way....
Steve: Babe... Thanks hey. U so wife material.
Me: Well thank u...
Steve: Ohh im sorry babe this is my cuzin Brian, Brian this is my girl Lebo....
Me: Nice to meet u
Brian: Likewise. Im sorry about this morning. U know guys and games.
Me: Its cool.
Brian: Right...I need to do something yo u'l find me in my room
Steve: Cool..... He walked away. Steve looked at me in a seductive way
Steve: U look sexy.
Me: Thanks.
Steve: Lets go out.
Me: Alright..... I stood up and followed him him out. He held my waist and led me to his
car. I opened the car and entered and so did he. Before he started the car he gave me a
seductive look again but staring at my body.
Me: Babe....
Steve: Ohh sorry. U jus so sexy....
I blushed. But really...He's good looking so the look was rather attracting... He started
the car and the gate got opened and we drove out.... My beautiful moment :) .....
.
.
.

INSERT 21.....
The car drove off on the street. I wondered where he was taking us. I looked at him and
his face wasn't much convincing. I started thinking about where we could possibly go.
What if he was taking me home? Nah he couldn't coz I don't have my bag neither do I
have my cellphone. Speaking of which, I haven't checked my cellphone ever since last
night. Im sure it has around thousands of missed calls by my family and a couple of
hundred messages to come home. Its not that I wanna run away from home forever or
something, I jus wanna bring out a message that I dont wanna do what they asking me to
do. Its way too much. Ofcos I'll go home once everything seems settled. The car was
silent with Steve stealing looks at me which I noticed but jus kept quiet. We continued
driving until we got to the mall...
Me: What are we here for?
Steve: Jus chill
Me: Its not really necessary
Steve: Nah but I wanna thank u for the cleaning....
I smiled. How sweet. My boo is taking me out for the first time. Wow...
Steve: Lets get food first. Im hungry
Me: Okay....
He parked his car and got out which I later followed. Then a car parked right next to us
while Steve was still looking for his wallet somewhere. It was a nice black BMW. There
was a guy and a girl in the car. The guy went out and went over to the girls door and
opened it for her. I found myself gazing at him. I mean, i had only seen that in those
white people movies. Never thought guys around this town do such. Such a true
gentleman. The girl got out and they shared a kiss. Auw how sweet. I really envied her.
Pity enough my own boyfriend doesn't do that for me. Not that im complaining but it
would be really nice if he did....
Steve: Babe....Lets go...
I turned back to Steve who was already walking ahead and caught up with him. I
attempted to hold his hand which he looked at first then held mine. We got inside the
mall.
Me: So where are we gonna eat?
Steve: Nandos
Me: Cool ....
We walked over there in silence....
We got inside and got an empty table and settled ourselves. I looked around and there
weren't too many people in the restaurant. I was actually looking around to see if there
wasnt anyone who knew me. Perhaps my parents or uncles. I know they'd go high and
low for me.
Steve: U....looking for someone?
Me: Uhh no just looking around. Its a...nice place.
Steve: I know....
Some chick came to our table. She was wearing a uniform so I could tell that shes a
waiter around here.
Her: Hey Stevie....
She said that in a kind way. It seemed like they know each other
Steve: Ey Bohloko
Her: Dude u don't get tired. U were jus here in the morning with Puleng and now u back
again with another?....
He looked uneasy....
Steve: Uhh well hunger strikes. Can I have my usual?
Her: Alright coming right up. And u my lady?
Me: Uhh I'll have whatever hes having....
She looked at him...
Her: Okay. drinks
Steve: Pepsi please
Me: Orange juice will be fine for me...
She noted on her little book.
Her: Alright. Coming right up.
Steve: Thanks B...
She walked away. I rephrased about what she said in my mind. Steve being here with a
girl. I didn't wanna ask but I know its gonna haunt my conscious if I don't. I gathered up
some courage and asked him
Me: So.....U were here this morning....
Steve: Yea. We went over to Kevins house to do a few things u know discuss how we
gonna write our trials exam and we got hungry and came here....
I cleared my throat
Me: Hmm u and who?
Steve: Me, Kevin, Letty and uhh...And Puleng. Letty's girl. Im sure u know her
Me: Nope. Never heard of her.
Steve: So... what are u gonna do about this?
Me: Bout what?
Steve: U escaping?
Me: Ohh I thought that I'l jus stay away for a little while until things settle. Hopefully
they'll get the message.If u don't mind ofcos.
Steve: Not at all.
Me: Great....
The rest of the minute was silence. Our food finally came and we ate. As soon as we
were done we got up and left.
Me: So where to from here?
Steve: Theres a movie playing in over 7 minutes. I thought we'd watch it.
Me: Cool :)
We walked over to the cinema, got us booked, grabbed pop corn and found ourselves a
seat. I don't know what the movie is about but it looked interesting. The movie started
and everything was peace and quiet. It played and turns out it was an action movie. It
was all guns out and bombs and car crashes, Jus things that wasn't in line with me. It was
a movie in the likes of fast and the furious and the transporter. All was jus quick fitting.
It got to a part of intimacy between a guy and a girl. I couldn't fix my eyes on that so I
jus fiddled my eyes around the people. In the process I felt Steves cold hand on my
thigh. I slowly turned to look at him and he looked at me too. He smiled and I jus
couldn't help but smile, though I was pretty uncomfortable with him touching me, more
especially in public. He leaned over and kissed me then went back to watching the
movie. I hope he isn't thinking crazy things in his head about intimacy coz seriously im
not ready. We watched the movie until it finished and everybody stood up. We walked
out holding hands and all smiling.
Steve: So did u enjoy the movie?
Me: Yea I actually did. action is kinna my thing....
Lied.....
Steve: Really? wow me too
Me: Yea it was amazing....
Lied....
Steve: Yea. Lets go home. Our imaginary home.....
I smiled ....
Me: Yea....
We walked up to his car. I stood alongside the passanger seat jus so maybe ge can offer
to open the door for me, Ahh nah ... He jus entered the car without even bothering
himself...
Steve: U coming in or what?
Me: Ofcos....
I opened and entered the car.... Ladies... Finding a guys with gentlemen behavior is like
finding a person who can talk bird language. Rare.....
Anyway he started the car and we drove off. The mall was kind of far from his
neighborhood so it was quite a distant. We drove again in silence with only his Eminem
songs playing in the background. I had to break the ice...
Me: I see u love Eminem
Steve: Yea I mean the nigga is so dope and lyrical. His flows jus go big.
Me: Wow u sound very fond of him
Steve: Well yea I don't listen to anyone's music....more....than----.... Shit!
I looked at him and he seemed worried.
Me: Babe...Is there anything wrong?
He jus looked forward and I decided to look forward too only to realize that we're about
few meters away from a traffic cop.
Me: U scared of a traffic cop?
Steve: Damn what does he even want on the street at this time.
Me: Calm down. U didn't do anything wrong.
Steve: Shh....Jus hang on a second.
Me: Steve whats wrong?
Steve: I don't have a fucking license okay!!!!?
What!!!!? Is he kidding me? Does he know that he'l be arrested for that? ....
Me: Wait so all this time, u don't have a license?
Steve: Im trynna think here...
I was so worried and we were getting closer to the traffic cop and my biggest fear jus
happend. He stopped us..... Oh No......
.
.
.

INSERT 22....
We were driving closer and closer to the traffic cop while he was signaling us to pull up
with my heart racing out of my chest. I was so scared that I felt like my whole body
would shut down. The car speed was still the same and I was thinking to myself that this
guy shouldnt even think about dodging the traffic cop. I don't want trouble. Imagine my
parents having to fetch me at a police station and because I was in a car....
Me: Steve... Jus pull up. Don't think of it....
He gave me a look, it wasn't a friendly one to say then he slowed down the speed until
he pulled up near the cop....
Steve: Act natural....
Natural? God I felt like screaming... The officer knocked at his window and Steve rolled
it down.
Him: Afternoon
Steve: Sure...
I kept quiet..
Him: Lady? Afternoon
Me: Uhhh afternoon...
He gave me a serious look with his mouth moving all goofy coz he was chewing a
bubble gum. His focus went back to Steve.
Him: May I ask where this car is going?
Steve: Its heading to Glynn
Him: Ohh the suburb. Aren't u a little ghetto to be living in a suburb?
Steve: I get that alot.
He gave us real intimidating looks as if he was sensing our fear with his mouth still
playing around wth the gum. Euww....
Him: Mind stepping out of the car young man?
Steve: Is that necessary?
Him: Are u questioning my request?
Steve looked at him and opened the car door and got out. The officer started saying
somethin to him that I couldn't make of but im certain that it concerns the car coz he was
looking at it. They then walked to the back of the car and opened the boot. Again the
officer said something to him and he answered back. I was praying that we don't get
caught. A part of me wanted to open the door and runaway as fast as I can. But that
would be silly. I stayed in the car so scared and patiently until Steve came back into the
car. The officer came to the window again. .
Him: Can I see ur license?
That question made me felt like turning into dust. I felt like I had been electric shocked.
Now my heart was beating real fast.
Steve: Uhh..I...I don't think thats necessary officer I mean we kinna late and I thought I
take out my license only when I dd something incorrect so what would be the use .....
The officer gave him that nasty look again now chewing his gum with his mouth open..
Him: Alright... U can go...
He moved away from the car and Steve started the car and drove off. I was still
astonished. We could've been in a hell of a lot of trouble...
Steve: U can chill now the worst is over ...
Me: We jus dodged a bullet.
Steve: Big time....
We continued driving and Steve got a text. He opened it while driving and me hoping he
wont get us crashed. He read it and put the phone roughly on the seat.... Ow...kay....I
didnt even wanna ask whats up so I kept quiet. Wemade it back to the house and Steve
wasn't really himself. He looked rather pissed. I bet its the text he got. When he parked
the car he went out instantly and walked to the house and I followed like a sheep. I
wonder whats wrong. We entered the house and there was Kevin, the other guy, some
guy I knew from school and surprise, surprise... The " Stay away from Steve" girl. When
they all saw me they got seized. More especially the girl. Its like someone was choking
her. She looked sour. We walked towards the living room with the girl's eyes looking
like car indicators.
Steve: Sure guys
Them: Xo....
Steve: Uhm babe...go to the room and I'll get there....
Me: Okay...
He kissed me on my cheek. That was weird but I liked it. I did as he said and went
upstairs to his room. I got there and took off my pumps. I decided to check on my
cellphone so I searched for it in my bag and found it. It was dead. I looked around for a
charger but couldnt find one. I noticed a little basket of electronic devices and all and
thought I might find one there. I leaned over on the floor and the door went open.
Steve: Wat are u looking for?
Me: uhhm my phone is dead so I was looking for a charger.
Steve: Okay....
He walked to a chest drawer that was opposite the bed and did something. I don't know
what he was doing but I didn't wanna bother myself. I couldn't find the charger and I
stood up.
Me: I cant find one....
He was taking off his jacket..
Steve:Ohhh....
He started walking closer to me.
Steve: Forget about it...
He pulled me closer and kissed me. We kissed. It was a fast-like kiss but I was enjoying
it. While kissing he slowly laid me down on the bed and continued kissing while he got
ontop of me. I felt my heart beating quick. My body's temperature was rising. This
moment was incredible. He took off his shirt in the process and ran his hand against my
body. I wasn't comfortable but I felt like I should let him. We continued kissing with
him running his hands in my dress until it was slowly getting unloose. He slowly took it
off and it got off and thrown to the floor. I was now in my bra and bikini. I didn't even
realize it, I was so lost in the kiss. His hands came again and ran through my thighs,
slowly and slightly they ended up on my bikini. Earth got on me again and I freaked. I
quickly pushed him aside and stood up breathing heavily....
Me: Uhm.....I'm sorry. I.
..Im really sorry but I can't...
Steve: Arg but why Relebogile? I mean I had been waiting long enough. Im a guy and I
need to be satisfied..
Me: im jus not ready.
Steve: U don't have to be ready dammit!!
Me: Steve Please understand
Steve: Understand what? u my girlfriend. Why shouldnt I sleep with u?
Me: I jus can't. I dont wanna lose my virginity now...
Steve: Know What? ....
He stood up from the bed
Steve: Get out...
Me: H....huh...?
Steve: Get out.... Get ur things and leave...
Me: :O .....
.
.
.

INSERT 23.....
In life, u get to know that u might never see a knife in mist until it stabs u. Well I was
stabbed by Steve. I was hoping that he'd say that his joking or his not thinking straight
but unfortunately he wasn't. He wanted me out. I was dressing up quickly while he was
gathering my stuff so roughly and stuffing them into my bag. He was so furious I didn't
know why. It hurt me because I wasn't expecting him to be like this. I thought he loved
me and wants a future with me. I thought he wanted to spend his life with me as much as
I wanted to with him. But clearly panties were driving him crazy. He even threw the bag
at me. He pushed me all the way downstairs with me trying to make him understand, but
he wouldn't reason with me. We got downstairs and the two guys were there looking at
us. Steve was all pushing me I even attempted to fall. I couldn't understand why he
would be like this. Kevin stood up..
Kevin:Dude common don't be like that.
Steve: Kevin stay out of this!
Me: Steve please
Steve: CHICK GET THE FUCK OUT MY HOUSE!!! Im through with u. U weren't
even my type. I don't know why I got involved with u in the first place ....
Me: :O .....
I couldn't help myself. I jus cried... This was way too much for me
Steve: Ey go cry somewhere else maybe at ur fiance's arms jus get out....
Kevin: Dude common...
I couldn't take it anymore... I ran towards the door to the button that opens the gate. I
pressed it and ran out till I got out the gate. I jus ran on the street. I ran so fast like I was
being chased my a police van. With every mile I shed a tear. I jus wanted the pain to
fade away. God why me? When I got tired I stopped and cried my lungs out. The pain
that was in me was so much unbearable. Like my heart was ripped off my chest. I felt
like dying. My first love. First heartbreak. Ohh it hurts so bad. I put myself together and
continued walking along the street,hence it was almost sunset. Around 5 to be exact. I
didn't know what to do. I had no plan. Not enough cash. No friend. Soon it would be no
life. I was down. Done and dusted. I jus continued walking in paths that my head would
let me. I walked for around hours until I found myself walking towards Lee's house. I
felt relief but lost it when I remembered our last conversation. I don't know if she'd help
me out. I treated her badly only because she was trying to be a good friend to me. She
warned me but I didn't listen. And right now im feeling the hot waters. The
circumstances are high. They were killing me. Even though I know she hates me but I
have to try. I have no one now. Im alone. I walked into her yard and got to the door and
knocked. I got no respond and I knocked again. Still nothing and I tried again and again
and again. They weren't there. Oh the pain I felt inside. I even got weak. My body felt
like tearing up. I sat down on the veranda, burried my head in my hands and cried. Why
is my life like this? Where did I go wrong. I cried for minutes and suddenly the door
opened.
Lee: Lebo...
I looked up and stared at her. She was wearing a gown. Understandable because it was
now around 7 and already cold..
Lee: What.....What are u doing here? I stood up..
Me: I.....I know that I did u wrong but..... u all I have now ...
Lee: What happend?
Me: I ....I've got no where to go lee..... I broke down and cried....
Lee: Shhh....its okay... Come inside....
She took my bag from the floor and I followed her inside. I sat on the sofa as she went to
the kitchen to prepare tea I think since I heard the kettle boiling. Minutes after she came
back with a cup of tea and gave it to me.
Me: Thanks...
She sat down.
Lee: Lebo whats all this?
Me: Its complicated.
Lee: Whats complicated is finding my friend at my doorstep with a bag full of clothes at
past 7 in the evening looking like she had been run over by a bus....
Me: Life has run over me..
Lee: Whats going on Lebo?
I started telling her everything. From the marriage quest to the escaping, the street kids,
the two guys, steve and him kicking me out. As a friend she was listening really
attentively but she was shocked. Especially the marriage part....
Me: Well...thats it ...
Lee: Wow..... u poor little thing. My friend I can't believe u went through all that. Why
didn't u tell me?
Me: After our last conversation I thought u don't ever wanna talk to me. Im sorry by the
way...
Lee: Nonsense. Girl u my friend. My unbiological sister. I'll always stick with u. For
now forget about Steve...
Me: Oh and it really hurts... I broke down and cried. She held me closer to her and I
cried on her chest.
Lee: Sweety I know. First heartbreaks are hard. Atleast he showed his true colours soon
before he could do damage to u...
I continued crying on her chest ..
Voice: Baby what are we eating....Im----Hun...gry...
I looked up and saw a dark guy who was hardly dressed. He was in his boxers...
Lee: Ohh u awake?
Him: Yea.... Hi...
He said to me...
Me: Hy...
My voice was scratchy. The tears in my eyes vouched for that..
He looked at Lee...
Him: Im sorry if I disturbed something...
Lee: Its okay. Baby this is my friend Lebo, Friend this is sizwe..
Sizwe: Nice meeting u
Me: Same here...
Sizwe: Is she okay?
Lee: She'll be fine...
Sizwe: Okay. Well I was thinking of calling in for pizza.
Lee: Good idea..
Sizwe: Cool. Il jus....go back to the room..
I looked at her...
Lee: What?mom will be back tomorrow and sleeping in the house alone wasn't an idea..
I chuckled...
Me: U never change..
Lee: U know...
Me: Im sorry for ruining plans...
Lee: Hey...u my friend. A trip to America would be declined if I had to be there for u...
Me: Auww....
I hugged her...
Me: I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like u...
Lee: Its okay friend...
I broke the hug....
Me: But really? A trip to Brooklyn ur dream destination. U'd decline it for me?
Lee: U'd have to make up for it big time.....
We laughed and talked about other things. She led me into a room which I was gonna
sleep in and I settled in. I took off my clothes and dressed into my pjs. I was too
exhausted to take a bath and I didn't feel like digesting any food. I got in the bed and
first thought of my life. I might as well get married to this Shezi guy and get this over
and done with. My life is over anyway, might as well finish it off. In no time I dozed off
to sleep....
.
.
.

INSERT 24.....
I woke up the next morning still sobbing and feeling all dull but I was relieved that Im
safe. I grabbed my tooth brush and got out of the room to the bathroom. I brushed my
teeth and washed my face. My eyes were really swollen as if they were sacks of maize.
Like I haven't slept for days. Must've been all the crying. I got done and headed to the
kitchen where I found Lee making breakfast ....
Me: Morning..
Lee: Hey how did u sleep?
Me: Fine thanks...
Lee: Thats great...breakfast?
Me: uhm...
Lee: Common u need to eat...
Me: Ok sure.....
She fried some eggs, put them on a plate with 4 slices of bread.
Me: Err thats a bit too much for me to eat. 2 is enough...
Lee: What? u eat like a rabbit
Me: Well I only have one stomach.
Lee: Yea yea ....
Sizwe walked in all dressed up..
Sizwe: Hmmm something smells nice...
Lee: Sit down and eat...
He settled and she handed him a plate...
Sizwe: Thanks babe.... So uhm Lebo... u better than yesterday today. Relationship
problem?
Me: Well yea... partly. I jus never knew Steve would be that cruel. Lie about loving me
and giving me his life ...
Sizwe: Did u jus say Steve..? as in Steven Pheto?
Me: One and only....
Suddenly he shot a look at Lee. It wasn't a romantic one
Sizwe: I have to leave...
He got up. I could sense tension between the both of them in me mentioning Steve...
Sizwe: Will call u.
He kissed her on her cheek and he went out. What is that all about? I looked at Lee with
a " and that? " look she jus looked away ...
Me: Is it something that I said...?
Lee: Partly...
Me: Lee whats up?
She quit whatever she was doing and came towards me.
Lee: I need to tell u something...
Me: Okay....
She sat next to me....
Lee: As u know...Steve is poison. Like Lebo the guy is poison and he has wronged alot
of girls....including me....
She looked down...
Me: What do u mean? ...
Lee: Lebo.... Few months before u and Steve got together, we kinna had a thing. Uhm
yea we did and we.....we slept together...
Me: What!?
Lee: Yea ...
Me: But--
Lee: Listen...... I slept with him and days after he jus dropped me and said he doesn't feel
me anymore.....
She took a deep breath....
Lee: About a week or so after I started dating Sizwe, he was so angry at me saying I've
got a sex tape and I didn't know what he was talking about and he showed me.. It turned
that Steve tricked me. He did a video of us sleeping together and posted it online...
I put my hands on my mouth. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My ears were
deceiving me. ...
Lee: Yes Lebo. He did. Turns out that he does that to every girl he dates. He plants a
video recorder in his room and posts that video online. Thats why everybody hates
him....
Me: But why?
Lee: That guy is insane..
Me: Isn't there anyone who could stop him?
Lee: Well....When Sizwe found out about this, he got furious and beat him up. Steve
opened a case of assault and in order to drop it I had to do one more sexual video with
him. And I did....
Me: :O My friend.... Why didn't u tell me?
Lee: I was embarrassed. To get back at me he hit on u and u got into the trap. He warned
me not to say a thing to u and I didn't. My friend u dodged a bullet. U would've been
well known for a sex video...
Me: I.... I can't believe this. But he was acting all nice and sweet.
Lee: Thats how he hooks them..
Me: I did notice him doing something near a drawer opposite his bed. I thought he was
cleaning a spot or something..
Lee: He was activating the camera. U didn't give him what u want thats why he kicked u
out.....
Me: Wow.... I can't believe this.
Lee: Be grateful. U dodged a bullet....
I smiled at her and she smiled too.
I can't believe Steve was a monster. A devil. All this time I was blinded. Im glad I got
out before it got too far..... We cleaned the place up and when we were done I decided to
charge my phone. Once it went on notifications went crazy on my phone. 69 Missed
calls from Dad.
" Gosh im in so much trouble" I thought to myself. I decides to atleast call him back. It
rand and he answered....
"Hello. Relebogile?"
Me; Papa ....
" Where are u child!"
He was angry. I could tell by the way his tone was in. That brought shivers in my body
and I hung up. How will I fix all this? ................
.
.
.
.
Lerato's mother came home later on that day and agreed that I stay with them until
schools open with us telling her that my parents are on holiday. We couldn't tell her that
I escaped. We both knew she'd take me back instantly and I didn't wanna go home jus
yet. I loved staying with Lee and her mom. Her mother is one of those young and single
mothers who are bubbly and are divas. She was around her 30s and has a beautiful body.
She actually allows Lebo to date , but Lebo mentioned that she doesn't like Sizwe coz he
was way older than her. She was in grade 11 and he was doing his final year in law.
Ofcos the age gap is huge but they loved each other so much I even envied them. I was
still ignoring the family's calls, more especially my father's. I wasn't actually ready to
face them. I had tried all means to ignore Steve. Deleted his contacts, blocked him I jus
totally disconnected myself with him. I did my level to forget about what happend.Only
baby steps...
.
One afternoon we were in the kitchen cooking out a new recipe with Lee's mom was
watching tv and we were all laughing and cracking up jokes. U'd swear that Lee and I
are sisters Her mom even called us her twins... Someone knocked on the door so hard we
wondered who it was..
Lee's mom : Il get it...
We continued with our cooking until.....
" WHERE IS SHE? I KNOW SHES HERE" ....I couldn't mistaken that voice. I knew
exactly who it was. They came to the kitchen and I looked at him....
Me: Papa....how did u ---
In a split second I felt a very hot slap cross my cheek. It was so hard that it sent my
flying off to the floor and looked at me with a deadly look .... Ohh no....Daddy found
me. And his as angry as a hungry bull.......
.
.
.

INSERT 25......
My father looked at me in a ruthless way. He was ready to murder me. If he knew what I
had gone through till now, he wouldn't even dare to shout at me .... The slap was so
painful I swear I felt my skin bruise up...
Lee's mom: Hey calm down. Whats going on here? u can't hurt her like that ..
Dad: She's my daughter and don't dare tell me what to do with her... U, get up and lets
go...
I was still stuck on the floor stunned by what jus happend.
Dad: Are u hearing me? Oh this child....
He roughly pulled my arm and was pulling me towards the door so sincerely I felt like
my arm was about to rip off my body. I was already crying. Lee and her mom did their
level best to stop him but the man is jus too scary. Who would go up against him at this
state? We got to the car and he roughly put me in the backseat of the car. He closed the
door and got in the drivers seat.
Dad: Do u know what u've done??? Nxa....I want to show u who's smart between u and I
today.....
He started the car and drove off. And the driving...? Disaster. He was speeding so fast he
didn't even stop at a red light. I was holding on the seat for dear life. I've never seen my
father this angry. Tonight has to be my judgment day. Im gonna get killed today.....He
continued driving until we got home. He pulled up the car, got out , came to my side and
got me out of the car pulling me with my ear. I was crying but he didn't seem to care. He
opened the door and we entered. There was my uncles with my other uncles, my aunts
and my grandmother as well as Madipila. They all seemed to be waiting for me...
Dad: Ke o...(Here she is)
My grandmother stood up...
Grandma: Ohh ngwanaka (my child)
Dad: He.e mma. Ke nyaka go mo bea tseleng. Wa gafa ngwana o. (No ma. I want to
discipline her. Shes crazy this child)....
He further pulled me by my ear to my bedroom and threw me on my bed and got out.
My ear was burning. He really hurt me.... a minute after he came back with a sjambok in
his hand... I drifted backwards on my bed till I reached the wall with my back. My skin
was crawling. Thats jus how scared I was....
Me: Papa....Papa please...please papa kao kgopela (im begging u ) papa don't do this...
Dad: SHUT UP!!!! I want to teach the difference between a child and a parent.... He got
closer and started whipping me. I was literally screaming but thats the more he
continued. Each strike crawled beyond my skin. He was killing me. I was ready to meet
my ancestors. He was whipping me so hard and without mercy. My aunt barged in and
held his hand..
Aunt: Ishmael...! go lekane... o go kwile. Mo lese Ishmael tuu (Ishmael its enough. She
heard u. Leave her tuu) ...
He came to his senses and let go of the sjambok. He was in tears. I didn't care coz I was
in pain. He tried to kill me. My body was aching so bad. Marks all over my body. No
one in my life? not even himself has ever did this to me. I hated him for this... I turned
my body around and buried my face in the sheets. I was cried so intensly. The pain was
jus too much...
Dad : Look what u made me do... Look.... His voice sounded like he was crying.
Dad: Do u know what u've done? U want to know? Ur mother is in hospital again
fighting for her life because u couldn't even do one thing... Lebo I don't want to lose my
wife. No never. I don't want to be a widower... I know marriage is a big thing but
sometimes sacrifices have to be made. But u were stupid enough to run away... Nxa..
He went out. Maybe his right... My mother is hospital again and this time its because of
me. My deeds are on her. I stayed in that position for long until I heard the door open. I
didn't wanna look up. I stayed in that position...
Grandma: Baby girl. Tlao hlape (come and bath).... I didn't say anything. I was jus
devastated.
Grandma: My girl. . Go lla go ka se go fodise. Etla. Kea tseba go bohloko fela o ka se
fole ge o ka no dula. (My girl. Crying won't make u heal. Come. I know its painful but u
wont heal if u jus stay there) .... I slowly got up in pain. She helped me up and assisted
me in undressing. She wrapped a towel around me and helped me walk up to the
bathroom. The bathtub was already filled with water and it had what seemed to be salt.
She helped me get inside and left me to relax. I thought of everything. Why my life is
like this? What if my mother loses her life? How stupid I was to think running away
would solve things. Im stupid. Im useless. Im a fool. I couldn't even see through Steve's
deceiving ways. I deserve it. I deserve all the criticism and the beating for being the
most stupid person of the year. I deserve the undeserved marriage. I don't deserve
happiness. Its for the wise. Not me... I got done with relaxation and got out. I wrapped
the towel around myself and went out to my room. My grandmother was already picking
out my pjs. She lotioned me with this other chemical she claimed that would help me
heal. She helped me get dressed in my pjs then tucked me in....
Me: Koko...(Grandma)
Grandma: Yes?
Me: Kao rata (I love u) ...
She smiled and came closer to me and kissed me on my forehead.
Grandma: Le nna kao rata. Rea go rata kao fela. O se ke wa lebala seo aker? ( I love u
too. We all love u. Don't forget that okay?) ....
I nodded my head.... She got up and left my room... I cried first concerning my life and
in no time my tears drifted me to lala land....
.
.
.

INSERT 26.....
I woke up as soon as the sun penetrated into my room with an aching body, but abit
better than the previous day. I got up and limped myself to the bathroom. I did the basics
and headed over to the lounge. Before I got there I heard voices chattering. I stopped
halfway to eavesdrop what they talking about coz I heard my name in the process...
Voice 1: Why would she do this? Shes selfish
I recognised that voice as my aunts
Voice2: Because she was scared
Thats my grandmothers
Aunt: But whats so special about her? I mean mama I was also married on an arranged
marriage. She deserved it for risking her mothers life in danger
Grandma: Debra o sale o monyane. (shes still young) Shes not ready. We have to find
another way to fix this.
Aunt: But we are losing Gertrude. Soon it will be Ishmael. She has to do it ma if she
wants her family to live...
I then walked in on them...
Me: I'll do it...
They got astonished. Especially coz they thought I was sleeping.
Grandma: My child. I thought u were still asleep
Me: Koko I'll do it..
Grandma: No u don't have to if u don't want to my girl
Me: No I want to....
Aunt: Uhhm are u sure?
Me: My lifes a mess because of me denying my destiny. I was destined to live like that. I
was destined to be in their family so...yea...
They looked at each other...
Grandma: Uhm okay. We will let the uncles know of this.
Me:Okay....
I limped myself to the kitchen... Ofcos I knew what I was getting myself into. I loved
my mother more than anything and I hate seeing dad being in this state. So im gonna
make a sacrifice for the history. Im gonna marry whoever the ancestors wanted me to. If
thats where the crossroads of my life end than so be it... I made myself and limped back
to my bedroom and ate it there. I literally spent hours in my room. I wanted to be alone.
I wanted to torture my mind with imaginations of how my life will be. Married..Kids...
Love? maybe? Oh please what is love? does it even exist? Love is jus something white
people display on movies in form of entertainment. Theres no such thing as Love. Last
time I had love, it was a false alarm. I thought he had loved me, but it was lust. Thats jus
it with guys. They lust not love. Love is jus a word we use to fool our minds. It doesn't
exist.... I was disturbed by a knock on my door...
Me: Come in
The door opened and it was my very same aunt...
Aunt: Hey... u've been in here for hours
Me: I jus wanna be alone
Aunt: Uhm we are about to go and see ur mother in the hospital. Would u like to come.
Im sure she'l be thrilled to see u..
Me: Okay. Please let me bath first then I'll come.
Aunt: Okay. Take ur time.
Me: Thanks.
Aunt: Ohh and im sorry.
Me: For?
Aunt: For saying those things. About u being selfish. I jus didn't stop for a moment to
think of what u are going through.
Me: No its okay.
Aunt: Good....
She attempted to walk
Me: Rakgadi (Aunt)
Aunt: Yes...
Me: U said u were also married with an arranged marriage...
She looked at me and took a deep breath.
Aunt: Yes.
Me: Why? and how did u feel?
Aunt: Well as tradition, If a woman gets married and dies, the husband has to remarry to
a woman related to her... My sister died after giving birth to her first born and the family
thought it would be good if I married her husband. I didn't want to because I've always
taken him as a friend to me. A brother if I may say. But I had no choice. I did it for
them. I know my sister would've been happy to know that he was in my arms when she
left him so...I sacrificed for her.
Me: Wow... So u are in a sacrificed marriage?
Aunt: Yes. and believe me...It took some time for us to get the hang of things. I mean he
wasnt over my sister. But right now we get along very well. We love each other so
much. We even have 4 more kids and I treat my sisters child as mine. We are one big
happy family. U see...it may be awkward to be pushed in a marriage of someone u don't
love. But if both of u put effort in it, u might make it work. Don't worry okay?
Me: Okay. Thanks for telling me
Aunt: No problem. We'l be waiting... With that said, she got out. Instantly I went out and
took a bath with a body that felt like a collapsed building. It was still painful , but I
understood why he did it. I tried my level best with the bathing and got out as soon as I
was done. I went to my room to prepare myself and dressed into a long dress with long
sleeves. I don't want her to see the bruises. She'd be devastated. I got done and limped
out to the lounge where my grandmother, uncle and aunt were waiting for me. As soon
as I entered they stood up. We went out, got in the car and drove off to the hospital. We
arrived there after a drive of about 20 minutes or so and pulled up. We got out and
walked in with my grandmother holding me to help me walk. When we came to her
ward, dad was already there. Talking to her while holding her hand. Thats when I
realized that my parents shared real love. The love I had been saying doesn't exist. Here
it is. Right here. My parents. And because of my stupidity, I almost took that away from
them. We walked closer with me shielding myself with my grandmother. I didn't wanna
look at dad in the eyes....
Aunt: Hey skoni. (sister in law) U look better today.
Mom: Well I feel better.
Grandma: Guess whos here to see u ... She moved away from me and my mothers eyes
landed on me. They way she was looking at me, Its as if she was looking at a million
dollar statue. Tears even shed from her eyes. She couldn't believe I was here.
Mom: Chattel?
Me: Mama
I went closer to her and she hugged me real tight. I felt her embrace that I couldn't help
myself but cry...
Me: Mama im sorry...
Mom:Shh its okay baby ... Its okay..
We broke the hug and I looked at her in the eyes and she smiled.
Mom: Look at u... u all scared
Me: Well yea...
Mom: Whats that on ur neck?
Me: What?
Mom: That....
She brought her hand closer. The dress was polo necked so she peeled it on the neck.
Mom: It looks like a bruise.
Me: Its...its nothing. I hurt myself with a pearl necklace.
Mom: No look it goes down on ur chest. Ohh my child. Who did this to u?
I looked aside and my eyes landed on dad who was looking down.
Mom: Relebogile?
Me: Ma..
She looked at me then looked at my grandmother who was looking all ashamed and then
my father who still kept his eyes down.
Mom: Ishmael ....
He didn't respond...
Mom: Ishmael why!? She didn't do anything wrong she was jus confused and scared.
Dad: I was angry okay?
Mom: But to hit her? How was that going to make things better huh?
Grandma: Uhh I think we need to give u some space....
Her and my aunt walked out..
Mom: My baby im sorry.
Me: No Mama its okay. It knocked some sense into me anyway
Mom: What sense?
Me: I'll do it.
There faces were shocked. They couldn't believe what I had jus said.
Dad: What did u say?
Me: I'll do it. I'll marry the Shezi guy.
Mom: No...Relebogile u still young. U are too young to sacrifice anything.
Me: As long as im sacrificing it for u. Mama I still want u in my life. Forever. If I have
to make that guarantee by getting married then I will...
Mom: Ohh my child....
She pulled me closer and we shared a hug again. We heard footsteps of heels coming in.
Voice: Ohh sorry I'll come back later....
We broke the hug and I looked back. It was some white woman in a white coat. I figured
shes the doctor...
Dad: No no...its okay...
Her: Alright....
She came closer.
Her: So how are we today?
Mom: Uhm well we are fine... We are progressing...
Her: Thats great. I jus came to tell u that ur health has improved and u are free to go
tomorrow?
Me: Really?
Her: Yes. They are perfectly fine. So they can go.
Dad:Wow thank u doctor. Thank u very much.
Her: Only doing my job. Excuse me, I have somewhere to be.
Dad: Right thanks....
She walked out... I gave my mother a look
Mom: What?
Me: We?
Mom: Well yea.
Me: O....Oh my word mama why didn't u tell me?
Mom: U were caught up in the marriage thing and I didn't find the right time to tell u....
Me: Wow so im gonna have another sibling?
Mom: Yes. Isn't it great?
Me: Its wonderful.
Dad looked at me all puzzled and confused.
Dad: Wait....how did u understand so fast that she is pregnant...?
I chuckled
Me: Well dad im not really a kid anymore
Dad: Ya ne. U right... U actually ready for getting married
Me: Really?
Dad: Yes. U becoming a woman
I smiled....
Me: Thank u dad.
I stayed with my parents for the rest of the moment and we had fun.My dad apologised
for what he did and we started off on a clean slate. Perfect family huh?
Hours past as well as visiting hours and we were to return home. I decided to go home
with dad since I wanted him and I to get along again. He isn't a bad person. He even
bought me my favorite ice cream, which I was still shocked that he knew. We went
home and got inside the house. Madipila was there and creepy enough she brought her
creepy things. I was confused...
Me: Thobela *Greeting*
Madipila: Age* greeting*
She looked at my father then back at me.
Madipila: I came to fetch u
Me: Why? and where are we going?
Madipila: I got a call saying u accept the marriage
Me: Yes I do.
Madipila: So pack ur bag with clothes that are enough for 2 days and come with me. We
need to get started. .
Me: Ow...kay.
I didn't really wanna contest with the whole thing. From now on, Im doing whatever
they want me to. I was still shocked at that I almost risked my mother and her unborn
child a chance at life. This time.... I follow instructions. I packed enough clothes and
went back to the lounge where my father and Madipila were.
Me: Im ready.
Madipila: Great....
Dad: I'll drop u guys
They stood up and we headed for the car. I wonder where she was taking me. And for
why....? Guess I'll have to find out when I get there...
.
.
.

INSERT 27.....

The drive to what ever place was silent. It made me more curious to where im going. I
got curious to a point that I couldn't hold myself anymore. So I asked....
Me: Uhhm.....Where am I going?
Madipila: Ohh u coming to my hut sweety ....
Hut? Ive never been to a hut before. I recalled something about two days? Really? I was
gonna stay in a hut for two days? ...Anyway. The road to her 'hut' was a long one. Took
about an hour to get there. It was night time but I could make out the road. We were
driving on a dusty road with quite alot of bumbs. It felt like a mountain. At some point I
felt like the car was going to fall off. I wasn't looking forward to this. Not at all...
Anyway we finally got to the 'hut' and I got out. Indeed it was a Hut... I looked at my
dad who looked back at me. He came closer to me.
Dad: Listen .... I want to let u know how proud I am of u. U are a very brave girl and it
hurts me to know that I took u for granted. Jus know that I love u okay...?
I nodded my head.
Dad: When u leave this place, u will be a woman. My woman-too-soon...
He shared a hug with me. First time ever in my life that I had been close with my dad. I
guess the sacrifice got to him. He let go of the hug.
Dad: Ohh and I'll need ur cellphone....
What? is he kidding me? I looked at him so puzzled.
Dad: They not allowed here ...
Me: Ow....
I took out my cellphone and handed it to him.
Dad: See u soon.
He entered the car and instantly drove off. I looked around and this place was really
rural. No road. No shop. No neighbors. No lights. No tap. No nothing. Jus a hut. I
walked inside and I found Madipila trying to light a lamp. Once it lit I looked around the
hut. Wow....it was really... Rural. I saw plates that were made up of steel as well as cups
and a bath plate too. The walls were full of wierd stuff that I cant even mention. Animal
skin, beads and sacks. There wasn't even a window in this hut. No electrical devices.And
by that I mean no plug sockets. The place was jus 1900.Then there was a section where
there were alot of old coldrink bottles with wierd substances inside alongside with
containers of purity that had little plants and powders. This was all creepy. Oh God Why
am I here?
Madipila: Please sit down...
She disturbed my browsing around the room.
And When she said down, she ment down literally. There was a cloth thingie aside and I
took it and laid in on the floor and sat down on it. She took out a little bundle of bushy
plants like she did that day and burned it....
Madipila: Now my daughter. I know u probably asking urself why u are here?
I nodded my head...
Madipila: Ok. U should know that u are marrying the family not the guy. And in order to
be fully accepted in the family, traditionaly. U are suppose to be initiated. Now im aware
that u've never been to an initiation school before.
I nodded
Madipila: Okay right.... So heres the thing. Right here, U are going to be turned into a
woman that the ancestors want. Whatever that will be done here, is to please ur husband-
to-be's ancestors. If it does, u are officially their daughter and not daughter in law..
I nodded....
Madipila: Ohh and one thing I never told u is this. For whats its worth.... since u are
getting married into the family, theres no need for u and the guy to force a relationship.
Its jus tradition. U can both be with someone u both want to be with. U can get legally
married to a person of ur choice, but not traditionally married. So yes.... Theres no need
to change ur surname...
Me: Really?
She nodded. Oh my gosh. She doesn't know how much it means to me for me to hear
that. So this marriage isn't gonna be bad after all? Its not a death trap. Not a life
sentence. oh How I was so relieved to here that.
Me: Uhm so what am I gonna be doing here?
Madipila: Ohh jus things that girls do in mountains.
Me: Mountains?
Madipila: Yes. We in a mountain sweety....
Me: Uhm o..ohk...
She smiled.
Madipila: Relax.... With me by ur side, u'll never go wrong.
I smiled...
Madipila: Okay now lets sleep...
Me: Uhh wheres the mattress?
She chuckled...
Madipila: Darling we In a mountain. Not boarding school.
Me: So...where are we sleeping.
Madipila: On those reed mats.
Reed mats? Is she kidding me?
I stood up and took one then laid it on the floor. I took off my shoes and my dress and
got dressed into a night dress. She also took off the cloths she wears and got dressed into
a long night gown. Funny enough she didn't take off the beads on her hand and neck..
She laid on her mat and switched off the lamp and it was real dark and scary. I couldn't
dare sleep on the floor and without a pillow and so since the bruises were still painfull.
So I took the jersey that I brought and bundled it up into a little pillow and laid my head
on it....
Madipila: My daughter. Can I ask u a personal question that may affect this process?
She asked that while I was settled down. I didn't even know that she was still awake...
Me: Uhh yea ...
Madipila: And be honest....
Me: O..okay...
Madipila: U are still hot right?
Me: Huh?
Madipila: I mean is ur fire still burning?
Me: Im...im not following u ma...
Madipila: My daughter.... I ment to say that are u still a virgin?
Wow that question almost made my head fall off. It brought me back to that night with
Steve.
Me: Uhhh y...yes....I...am..
Madipila: I hope u are honest with me. Because when u were away,I had a vision of u in
another boy's bed...
I cleared my throat. This was a shocker to me.
Me: Im telling the truth....
Madipila: Hmmhm....if u say so. Sleep....We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow......
Me: Okay...
I wondered how my stay here is gonna be. What am I gonna do here? Biggest of them
all, When am I leaving here. Some sacrifices are really devastating sacrifices.... In a
while after I drifted off to sleep...
.
.
.

INSERT 28.....
I was peacefully asleep until I felt a rush of cold water on my face. The water was so
cold I immediately snapped out of my sleep only to find Madipila dressed in her
traditional clothes again with a cup of water. .
Madipila: Wake up darling...
I looked around and it was abit early. The sun wasn't even visible yet.
Me: Can't I sleep another 5 Minutes....?
Madipila: No wake up. A woman wakes up at this hour....
Really? it looked like it was still around 5 in the morning. I slowly got up and folded the
reed mat then put it aside neatly....
Madipila: Today...we are going to make training procedures...Ofcos u don't need them,
but its to declare u as a woman since u are still a teenager.
She took out some sort of short traditional skirt and a cloth that looked like a bra strap.
They were brownish in colour. She gave them to me and they felt so real, I could tell its
animal skin.
She then walked out. I took a look at the garments on my hands. The skirt looked like it
was above knee level and the cloth strap appeared to not be able to cover my stomach
and its really cold. Am I gonna wear this? She came back with a bath plate that had
water in it and put it down.
Madipila: U can start bathing...
I looked at the water and put the attires down and undressed. I put my foot inside and
woah....The water was extremely cold. I immediately took it out.
Madipila: Whats wrong?
Me: The water is cold.
Madipila: Well sorry about that but its part of the procedure. We in a mountain
remember?
I didn't further contest with it and I put my foot inside as well as the other. She passed
me a face cloth and those green bath soap. I soaked the cloth in the water amd rubbed
the soap against it then started bathing. The water was really cold and I was shaking so
bad. I don't know why she d let me bath with cold water,hence it was around 5 in the
morning. I might catch a cold. Does she know that? After bathing myself with the ice
cold water I got out. She passed me jelly oil. It looked awful. It was yellowish. It looked
50 years old. I continued and I wore the shirt and the bra strap. The cold was still in me
so I was still shaking like a vibrating cellphone. My bones felt like ice.
Me: Uhm Madipila?
Madipila: Yes?
Me: Should I really wear this? I mean its really cold....
Madipila: Part of procedure....
I feel like these procedures are gonna kill me.
Madipila: Lets go ...
Me: Where are we going?
Madipila: Part.....
Me: Of procedure....I get u...
She turned and started walking with me following her. She got 2 big clay pots and
handed one over to me which was abit heavy.
Madipila: Now we are going to fetch water okay?
I nodded my head and we walked. I had no shoes on, neither did she and trust me, the
ground was bottom cold. With every step I took, I felt like a vein was about to tear. I
held on to the pot as we were walking and the walk was a long one. It seemed endless.
At some point I wanted to stop. This way different from how I expected it to be. After
minutes of walking we finally came to a certain river bank. She took the pot and dunked
it into the water to capture a quantity of water. She looked at me and I instantly did the
same. When her pot was full she carefully brought it out and put it aside to wait for mine
to do the same. When it got full I carefully took it out jus the way she did and put it on
the river bank.
Madipila: No..carry it and we'll leave.
I picked it up and held it with both arms. I tried to walked but struggled..
Madipila: No my girl...The easy way to carry a load is to put it on ur head....
Wow...I wasn't expecimg that... I tried putting it on my head but struggled.
Madipila: Look...This is how its done. She held the pot from the opening and end then
lifted it towards her head. I gazed at her than put down the pot and tried it. I succeed.
She started walking and I followed her until we finally got back to the hut. I put down
my pot and let out a sigh of relief.
Madipila: U a fast learner.... I like that about u... Now take the other pot and go to get
water. Alone this time....
That was quite a task but I had to do it. I got the other pot and left for the path. The path
wasn't complicated so it was easy to remember where we walked before. I found the
river,dunked the pot, filled it and lifted it on my head again. I started getting the hang of
these things. The cold wasn't even there anymore. Nevertheless that im wearing an
about knee skirt and a bra strap. I finally got back there with her smiling. I put the pot
carefully on the ground.
Me: Done...
Madipila: Impressive. She took it and went inside with me following her. She had
already made fire on the flour, I was even worried if the hut would catch it and burn.
There was already a steel kettle on the fire that I figured had boiling water. She sat down
and I sat besides her. She took the kettle and poured the water in two steel cups with
teabags and passed one over to me. She then passed a plate of bread to me. It was
brown, unsliced and without a spread of margarine. I didn't wanna further any question
because I knew I'd get a 'part of procedure'... Without complaining I ate the sugarless tea
and the unspread bread. It all tasted awful, but I had no choice. Sacrifices right?.... We
finished eating and away the plates and cups as well as switch off the fire.
.
We went out and around the yard there were two huge bowl-like things with a huge stick
in each. I had seen then in a couple of scenarios in tv where rural women grind certain
things to make food. I followed her to them. She picked a plastic aside which had things
that looked like stamp. She put some in one bowl and some in another...
Madipila: Now u are going to make food... come...
I went closer to one bowl and she picked the huge stick in one bowl and started grinding.
I first observed her and I did the same. We grinned and grinned and grinned until the
stamps became powder-like. Wow this experience was fascinating....
.
.
.
Later that day we had everything done and now we were sitting by the fire outside after
eating soft porridge which we made by grinned stamps. Awkward, but yes. I was still
dressed in the skirt and bra strap and it was still cold but I didnt mind it. Its like I was
used to them now. This rural experience was not bad after all...
Madipila: My girl... Now we have come to the most difficult task of them all. Clan
names...
Me: Ohh it cant be hard. Im quick at learning
Madipila: Its not as easy as u think... Stand up.
I stood up. She took out some wood on the fire and put them on a single zinc. It was
corroded but still in shape. Awkward enough, she didn't feel any pain of burning. She jus
took them and placed them on that piece of steel. Then she looked at me..
Madipila: Get on it....
Me: Askies(excuse me? )
Madipila: Get on the burning wood
What!!!? is she kidding me? my legs will burn
Me: B....but Il burn my foot.
Madipila: Part of
Me: No but this shouldnt be like this
Madipila: Its the most important task. Jus get on it...
Being assigned by ancestors is not a pleasant thing. Ur body sacrifices for them. But I
kept in mind of my mother and unborn sibling. Then I knew again, I had no choice.
Sacrifices right?...
I slowly put one foot on the pieces of wood and moaned of pain. She still looked at me
and I contained more power in me and put the next foot. Literally, My FEET WERE ON
FIRE. The pain was so much but I didnt want to appear as weak... "
Sacrifices"..."sacrifices".
. Thats what i said to comfort myself from letting the pain get on me. My tears were
already falling but feeling and voice were locked and shut.....
Madipila: Now repeat after me ok..
I nodded my head....
She said out some zulu clan names and I repeated. She did again and I repeated. Again
and I repeated. I kept my eyes closed to resist the pain and because of fear my voice
cooperated very well
Madipila; Now say them alone...
I started saying each of the clan names she said. The second time I did so,I got stuck.
Madipila: Hm-mh ...don't cram,know them!!!!
I opened my eyes and she was taking out another hot wood from the fire and added it of
the zinc I was on forcing my leg to stamp on it. The pain came in fresh because the piece
of wood was hotter than the other ones. More tears rushed through my eyes again....
Madipila: Start over...
In pain and displeasure I started saying out the names of recites she said. Again, and
again and again.... She took water and poured it on the wood...
Madipila: U can get off....
I got off and my feet were in great pain. My legs jus collapsed and I sat myself down to
try to endure the pain. Ohh how this was hard... Madipila came closer to me with water
and poured them on my feet..
Madipila: U are very good ...
I didn't respond her. I couldn't respond. My whole body was jus crying. Not jus my
eyes.... She the poured the water on the fire and it was off. She helped me up and I
walked with the tip of my ankle to the hut and collapsed again on the reed mat. Madipila
lit the lamp and took off my attire then helped me in my night dress. She then applied
some wierd lotion which was in one of the purity container on my feet. It was painful,
but I couldn't satisfy the pain with moaning. I jus held myself. When she was done she
started undressing herself into her night gown then laid on her mat.
Madipila: So far u progressing better than I had expected. U should be proud of urself. U
are such a brave girl ....
I faked a smile ...
Madipila: Now sleep. Tomorrow is still a day... she dimmed the lamp and darkness
filled the room... The last tears escaped my eyes. This was so much to encounter. But I
have to stay strong... Again.....Sacrifices.....
.
.
.

INSERT 29.....
The pain that I felt that night was unbearable. I couldn't stop moaning of pain. The hut
was cold and we sleep without blankets so the cold penetrated in my feet. I don't think
I'll ever forget tonight. I couldn't sleep to a point that Madipila woke up then I knew it
was morning. I couldn't sleep anymore so I woke up too. Again I bathed with cold water
as cold as the morning was. But I didn't care. Last nights pain took the trophy. I don't
think a bullet would compete with it. I was trembling and vibrating but my body was
constant. I got done and lotioned myself with the yellowish jelly oil. This time,
Madipila gave me a cloth that looked like a dress. The cloth was fascinating. It had
pretty patterns. She wrapped it around my body nicely as a dress and if I am to say, I
looked good in it. Madipila passed me some sandles that seemed to be handmade. I
guess they were to ease the pain under my feet. Walking was a mission for me. I tried to
balance myself so steadily and I was doing well. I went to the river and fetched a pot of
water again. I fetched water twice and without any fault. It felt like a daily routine.... I
got done with the water and was now settled near the fire eating unspread bread and tea
without sugar. It didn't even bother me anymore. I felt like a new sense has awakened in
me... While I was eating Madipila said to me....
Madipila: U know.... Right now u are ready for the world. All u needed was a day.
Me: Uhm yea....
Madipila:Good news is u going home tonight....
I know I should be excited right now but nah. My spirit is dull. I felt like a widow.
Down spirited and calm. I didn't even feel like shouting or getting excited...
Madipila: Its only one thing left to do then u are declared as a woman.
Me:What is that?
Madipila: A protection ceremony.
Me: Ohh okay....
We continued eating in perfect silence until we got done. We cleared up the whole place
and set it in another form. She put water in a bath plate and set some traditional things
alongside herself. When everything seemed to be in her idea of order she asked me to sit
down and I did so. She started burning her bushy plants again releasing that tobacco-like
smoke and spreading some snuff on the floor and started with her weird sounds and
shakings. She said praises to the ancestors and I was jus seated there on the floor looking
down. I had nothing to do or say. When she calmed down, she took a bottle with a dark
substance and poured it on a little bowl... After that she took a container with a red
powder and mixed it in the bowl and added some weird herb in the bowl then mixed it
all together while saying out the praises. When she calmed down she took something
that looked like a razor...
Madipila: Come closer my girl... I drifted from my position and went closer to her....
Madipila: pull down the dress cloth abit down, exactly at ur breasts....
I looked at her then peeled the dress cloth towards my breast. Shockingly and creepy
enough, she brought her hand towards my chest and cut me. She cut two equal lines
parallel to each other. It kinna hurt but not enough to moan. She asked me to turn around
and I did so. I felt the razor at me again. I felt it draw two parallel lines also. I looked
over to my chest and blood shed from the cuts. I bet im bleeding on the two lines on my
back too. This procedure thing is killing me...
When she was done she dunked two fingers in the mixture she mixed and applied it on
the two lines. Both on my chest and back. The mixture smelt funny. Like expired peanut
butter or something. She passed me some water that were aside and said I should drink.
The water tasted salty, I could make It out that they were taken from an ocean or
something. She then asked me to undress and take a bath. This time the water was hot
and I wasn't allowed to bath with any soap. I did everything she asked me till I was done
and I was now dressed in my proper clothes ready to go...
She took a very good look at me...
Me: Uhm...
Madipila: Sorry for staring. Im jus amazed by the woman standing in front of me....
I smiled...
Madipila: Now u are who u are suppose to be. A Woman-Too-Soon. U may be young
but u are brave and filled with life anx integrity. U intelligent and sophisticated. U hold a
combination of a woman in a teenager's body.
Me: Really ma?
Madipila: Yes... The ancestors have accepted u with open arms. U are welcomed to be
taken away from the Kailes. A new life is ahead of u...
I smiled....
Madipila: Never forget who u are okay?
I nodded.... in a while after I heard a car bell ring outside...
Madipila: Wait....before u leave...Say the clan name recites again... I smiled and said
everything...Word for word. Zulu was a problem to me but hey...after that way of
learning there was no way I couldn't know the words and how to say them. I now knew
the recite by heart and could swear that I can say them even in my sleep. When I was
done Madipila smiled at me and we shared a hug. I took my stuff and went out. I got in
the car with much confidence. I don't know where it came from. I felt a certain change in
me. My dad was even surprised...
Dad: Woman
Me: Yes dad..
I smiled and he hugged me.
Dad: Are u okay?
Me: Still in pain but I'll be okay.
Dad: Im glad....
He drove off and we went home. When we got home, the moment I opened the door I
saw a huge number of people in the house. Like the whole family was there. As I entered
they all looked at me and clapped hands. My mother walked towards me and gave me a
tight hug...
Mom: Auww im so proud of u my girl..
Me: I know mama. I did this all for u. Because I love u...
Mom: Auw.....
She got filled with tears in her eyes and once more we shared an intense hug.... The
night was great with my family. We had a feast fit for a king. I was happy to be home.
With the family as a whole. Knowing that im the reason they are all here, made me
incredibly proud. Death scares people. Death is a scary thing. Everyones enermy, and
everyone would do anything to prevent a death. Well I did. For my parents,my creators,
and for people who i didnt know that i'll be given to. The thoughts hit home to me that
later that night when I was in bed.I had wounds and pain in my body to notify that im a
woman. Ready to conquer the world. Not forgetting, a wife title that probably wont
mean much. Im around two days time im gonna be in a new house with a new family
including one considered as husband. Yes.. This weekend I was to get married. My Life?
Where are u heading? I guess i'll have to buckle up and ride on the changes that are
about to occur....
.
.
.
.
INSERT 30...
My life had spun in a direction that none would've imagined. I had always pictured
myself in a office, leaving and going back to my own big town house with kids running
up to me when I get back and going to someone who I claimed owned my soul. A
perfect life. Funny things is I've always imagine that in an easy path. Jus study, go to
university then get ur prince charming and get married. Now things are visa versa.
Study, get a prince, get married and go to university. Its funny how life never passes on
to u what u want on a silver platter. It gives u burdens and blessings after, well if ever
that exists. My life is totally not the way I had framed it.....
"Relebogile!!?"
I quickly snapped out of it. My mind came back to reality...
Me: Ma?
Mom: Your dad is asking if u want a snack or drink when we get to the nearest petrol
station?
Me: Uhhh.... a packet of snacks would be nice?
Dad: Are u sure? u haven't eaten since morning and we still have to drive for a few more
hours.
Me: I'll be ok Dad...
Dad: Phetollo is still asleep
Mom: His not used to travelling long distances...
I simply plugged my earphones back in my ears and disappeared back into the music. It
was a nice Thursday and the weather was jus nice and comfortable. The drive to the city
of gold was long and lonely,almost as how my soul was. My family and I were heading
to my "fiance" 's house... I tried to sleep throughout the way but couldn't. I jus passed
my eyes on the houses,roads,bushes,buildings and people on the street. Anything that
my eyes could come across ... It was now late and the road had turned into beauty.
Streetlights and beautiful cars around. A suburb vibe. Thats when I knew that Im there.
Im in the city of gold. A few miles after the car stopped at a huge and enormous house. I
lifted my head to get a clear view and my...my...my.... Im talking about a house with a
yard thats probably almost a soccerfield. Its the biggest and most beautiful house my
eyes have ever set on. It jus screamed "money" to me. We got the car inside once
mentions of our presence was said to a certain guard at the gate and got out. It was dark
since it was already evening but the house was Wow... But even the beauty of the house
couldn't soothe my pain for the reason that I was here for. My dad took our bags and we
walked towards the door which we were welcomed by another guard wearing a black
and white uniform. He carried our bags inside the 'palace' and looked at the house abit
more. Class was the only word I could describe it.
The guard: Mr Shezi will be with u in an hour his still in a meeting. In the meantime u
can relax....
Mom: Ohh thank u....
The smiles on my parents faces were remarkable. They seemed happy. And that im the
cause of that, I was also happy. Apparently... I got to 'my' room that I was let to. It was
pretty. It had nice red velvet duvets with setting of white pillows and white curtains,
white walls with white built in closets. It was jus wow. I slowly entered and threw
myself on the bed and it was really comfy. Everything here,is money. Rich is what I'll
be. But all this means nothing to me. Sacrifice is what drove me here.
A while after I was called for downstairs as told by the guard and I followed him to a
dinner table which my parents were already seated with two beautiful women I didn't
know. They looked expensive with gorgeous weaves and make up, but I could tell that
they old. When I stepped in,they gazed at me. They didn't stop until I sat down on a
chair. One was so focused at me with her mouth open and the other jus gave me a
confusing look.
I cleared my throat and she snapped out of it...
Her: Ohh im...im sorry... U must be Relebogile?
Me: Yes....
She turned her head and looked at my parents.
Her: Wow she's.....beautiful....
My parents jus smiled. I tried faking one but couldn't.
Her: Ohh im sorry. Im Mrs Shezi, Im....uhh... Ur mother-in-law....
Ow....wow.... Great.... -_-
Me: Ohh uhh hi M...Mrs Shezi...
Mrs Shezi: And this is my sister Pam but u can call her aunty Pam.
The aunty Pam looked at her then rolled her eyes...
Aunty Pam: Uhm hy child
Me: H...Hi....
Mrs Shezi: She sounds nervous...
She said that looking at my parents...
Mom: Shes a shy one.....
Mrs Shezi: Ohh I see. But theres nothing to be nervous of. We...well....will be family.
Feel free.
Me: Uhm...Thank u....
Feel free? Im getting married to someone I don't know and im exactly at his house with
his mother. Anyone would be nervous. But my feeling wasn't even compared to the
feeling most girls get when meeting their partners parents. It was so much deep. I met
the guys mother before meeting him... Then my dad asked a question that made me get a
goose bump in my heart...
Dad: So where is the Groom?
Mrs Shezi: Ohh I have to apologize for my husband and son's absence. My husband has
a meeting in Durban and he'll fly back here early tomorrow in time for the negotiations.
And my son went out with my daughter to visit their grandmother.
Mom: Ohh its understandable..
Instantly some black woman in a maids black and white's uniform came with pushing a
tray with fancy pots. I guessed it was food. She put the pots on the table and displayed
them. "Fancy" food. Cream spinach, vegies, grilled chicken, corn, artificialed rice and
more salads and sidings. We passed each pot bowl adding on whatever in it to our plates
and started eating. The food was tasteful,delicious. None other that I've ever tasted. It
was delightful. Funny enough, my family and I had to play the part by eating with forks
and knives, even Phetollo himself. Im sure its gonna be a topic to them once they
returned. Ouch.. that hit home. They'll be leaving me here. Suddenly I didn't feel like
digesting any more food and played with the cutler on my plate. Unfortunately Mrs
Shezi noticed...
Mrs Shezi: My dear, u not eating. Is there something wrong with the food?
Me: Oh uhh no. Not at all. I've had a long journey and im really tired. I don't want to
sound rude but can I be excused?
Mrs Shezi: Ohh uhm yes its okay
Mom: Are u okay my daughter?
Me: Im okay ma. I jus need to rest. I stood up and attempted to take my plate...
Mrs Shezi: Ohh no u can leave it there, vinolia will clear it up.
Me: okay .Thank u.
Mrs Shezi: Pleasure my girl
Me: Goodnight...
Them: Goodnight.
I walked up the long case of stairs until I found my room again. I undressed into my pjs
and helped myself in the sheets. This life is all lavish. Any girl will kill for it. I have to
start embracing it sooner or later. I was gonna be here until thy kingdom come. Until
whatever situation may come. Perhaps when my own prince charming had come. But as
for now... im here. This is my life.....
.
.
.

INSERT 31......
I felt someone waking me up with a soft poke. I opened my eyes and looked around only
to find the maid I saw from last night....
Her: Uhh morning. Sorry to wake u up
Me: Its okay..
Her: I was told to wake u up and eat breakfast.
Me: Is it possible that I eat it in my room?
Her: Ohh uhm okay. Il bring it up for u
Me: Thank u Ma
Her: Ohh please call me Vinolia
Me: Uhh I'd prefer Ma Vinolia
She smiled at me and left my room.....
I got up and made 'my' bed and went out the room with my tooth brush to brush my
teeth. I looked at myself in the mirror. I wearing an open chest pyjama shirt and I
noticed that the razor cut was now a scar. "arg great" I continued doing my business and
got out. I had a feeling of isolating myself so I stayed in the room,i even ate my
breakfast in there. I didn't even care of what time it was or what not. I jus wanted to
drown myself in misery. I was in deep thoughts jus then I heard a knock on the door. I
first sat upstraight since I wa laying on the bed. 'Come in'.... the door opened and
surprise surprise.... Madipila walked in. I was so shocked as to what shes doing here. My
eyes jus went out on her...
Madipila: Hey dear.... Wait.....Why are u not dressed??
Me: Uhh.....
Madipila: Haii man young girl go and bath. The event is going to happen in a little while
hau ema o hlapa (get up and go to bath).... I stood up,took a towel and headed for the
bathroom. I took a long and slow bath and went back to the room where I found a
beautiful blue traditional dress with patterns set nicely on the bed. I could tell that its a
pedi traditional attire. After all Im a pedi.... I lotioned my body and dressed myself in the
dress. With my body shaped, I looked older than my age. Like a real wife to be. I
brushed off the feelings I had and tied my hair into a neat bun and wore the shoes that
came along with the dress. While doing that,the door opened and my mother together
with Madipila walked in.
Mom: Ohh my baby u look beautiful.....
I faked a smile. I didn't feel beautiful.....
Madipila: Uh-uh ...ur hair.... Not allowed...
Me: Whats wrong with it?
Mom: Don't worry il handle this.
She took a doek and tied it on my head. Now I really looked like a Makoti. It would feel
right. Ird feel excited. I mean its every girls dream to get married, but not in this way.
My dream robbed me...
Madipila got out of the room.....
My mother took a closer look at me while smiling and gazing at me. Tears were forming
in here eyes....
Me: Uh-uh mama. Dont cry....
But she couldn't help it. The tears flowed down......
Mom: Im jus proud of u my girl. You've done the most wonderful thing I've ever had
Chattel. U have made me the proudest woman on earth.
I couldn't stop the tears from falling off. We shared a hug. An intense one with a humid
atmosphere. Madipila came in and said they asking for me downstairs. I got out the
room and there were 3 girls outside the door that I didn't know wearing almost the same
dress as mine. I didn't wanna bother myself with intros so I kept quiet and walked with
them downstairs to the lounge where we met some old men and my two uncles with dad
as well as this other man dressed in traditional stuff,he appeared to be a sangoma. We
were asked to kneel down. It wasn't a problem since the lounge was covered in carpet.....
My uncle: So tell us....which one do u want here that u claim belongs to u?....
The old men brought their heads together and whispered something to each other....
Old man 1: Her.....
He said pointing at me as soon as their discussion was done....
My uncle: Are u sure its her?
Old man2: Yes....We are sure....
I looked at the third old man who looked familiar but couldn't make out where I saw him
from. We were asked to go back upstairs and I locked myself in the room. I knew that I
was being sold at that moment. Those men were going to be my 'family' soon. I heard
celebrating cheers downstairs. I guess the price has been set, I was sold. All because of
sacrifice....
.
.
.
The next day I woke up feeling so bottled up with tears and emotions,but told myself I'll
be strong enough for the event. My heart was fainting,my body was weak and my mind
was blank. The only thing in my head was
WEDDING,MARRIED.WEDDING,MARRIED..... The day I had been dreading had
come within no moment of wait. Whatever I had encountered in the previous days had
led to this day. I got up and headed to the bathroom tip toeing. I dont think I'm prepared
to meet the 'groom' . I got in and took a bath worth a decade. I needed it. My feelings
were all over my body. When I got out and headed for the room, I found my mother
placing some garments on the bed. She looked beautiful in her own traditional clothes.
She could sense the heaviness in me so she remained silent. I lotioned and dressed up in
the clothes she brought. It was a red skirt with pleats,black vest,a light see-through piece
of cloth that I tied around my neck and let it hang on my back,sandles with fur and a
huge red hat that had beadwork that covered my forehead,and finished it off with beaded
necklace,bracelets,u name it. I've never imagined myself in a zulu bride attire,but here I
was. After preparing,the same girls as yesterday were there but this time to be what
seemed to be my bridesmaids. I wished that I had my bestfriend with me. She'd comfort
me in this moment. But coz she isn't,I had to remain strong. I slowly walked downstairs
with the 3 girls singing out some zulu songs walking infront of me. When I appeared
downstairs,people cheered and made noises. I didn't know most,but I could spot my
family members out of a few. The crowd wasn't much,approximately 20-40 people.
Everybody was dressed in traditional attires. Zulu and pedi attires. Both of those didn't
mix well but it was a beautiful sight. Who would've imagined Zulus and Pedi's in one
roof celebrating together? This was all me. Maybe the ancestors were right. At some
point,water and oil could become a mixture. I stood at a certain point with the girls. The
whole place was decorated in zulu traditional things. Mini-pots,fake lion postures and
and animal print drappings. Madipila walked to me and walked me to a certain point
where an old man was and looked like he was the one to bless our wedding,as well as a
young man standing before him. 'My Groom' The moment was here. I felt so
nervous,my heart was racing like a horse and my feelings were all over. What was I
doing? I felt tears threatening to fall off,I didn't wanna show them to everyone else,I
faced down. I didn't want to even see how my 'husband' looked like. I was jus
heartbroken. I ran my eyes on my left and they met my mother's little bump. I looked at
it and remembered that im doing things for them. Im sacrificing my life for my family
and my unborn sibling. Im doing this for them. I want my sibling to have a chance at
life. Jus as my brother and I.... My mind came back to reality and the old man before us
asked us to bend on our knees which we did so. He continued his talking that I wasn't
even paying attention to. The pain in me was much. He was passed on a small bowl that
rural people use to drink alcohol with and first gave it to the groom. The groom drank
whats inside and then faced it my position. I took a look at it and slowly took it from his
hands with my hands vibrating. I took a sip at the sour drink inside. uMqombothi. I
passed it back to the old man and we were declared as husband and wife in the eyes of
the unliving.....Its Done. Im TRADITIONALLY married to someone......
.
.

INSERT 32.....
At some point in life u get to a certain climax. Life is always a story that starts from high
school and ends in the grave. I felt like my life had skipped four chapters ahead. This
step was a big one. Im amazed by my courage. Talking about courage, I still couldn't
face up to see anyone. My Groom if I have to say. My heart had not yet accepted the
whole thing. We walked apart and I headed for the kitchen. I needed sometime alone. I
was actually glad that the event was a tiny thing. Jus for family. I poured water for
myself to calm the nerves down. Gosh,this girl was about to go crazy.
"my child"
I was disturbed and I turned to look behind. I saw a woman who was old but not that
old. I could say about 40-45/50. She was walking with crutches and there was this other
girl who was helping her to walk. They both looked mixed race. They were beautiful. I
figured they mother and daughter. They were pretty
Woman: Thank u.....
I looked down. The last thing I wanted from everyone was them reminding me of what I
had done. I think they noticed I wasn't comfortable and they walked away. I wanted to
be alone. I couldn't stand the crowd. Everyone was so jolly and happy while the "bride"
herself isn't and I couldn't even pretend. I couldn't even pull a fake smile. No crooked
smile. Without telling anyone I ran upstairs to my room. I entered and threw myself on
the bed then cried my lungs out. It finally hit me. Im married.Though Madipila said we
can date someone else if we don't want each other,but fact is that Im entitled as their
daughter in law. If I ever get married to another man legally, I'd be a polygamist.
Married to two men. Wow..... what a perfect mess. But I wouldn't let it get that far. After
the Steven thing,im done. Im dusted,im good,im through with "love" I jus got married
without "love"... It will jus have to be a sacrifice thing only.... I heard a knock on my
door. I didn't wanna entertain anyone so I jus kept quiet. The door opened and I guess
the person entered. I didn't turn to see who it was. My body was as dry as bread....
"Hi" ....that was a voice of a young girl.... apparently....I still felt like not entertaining
anyone, I remained constant in my position....
Girl: Hey im.....Im Nokthula...
Still I remained silent. I felt a movement on the edge of the bed, im guessing shes sitting
on the bed....
Girl: Listen...I know what jus happend is....Its not pleasant and I give u high respect for
doing what u jus did but I promise u, u will be well taken cared of. We'll buy u
everything u need to thank u...
I let out a slight laugh...
Me: I don't need money. Im not desperate. I mean more than that.
She kept silent for a while....
Girl: Uhm anyway, I jus came to thank u for what u did. U saved my mother from a
death wish. U did a huge thing for my brother and I and I don't know of anything I'd
probably do for u but u saved our only hope. My brother and I didn't buy it at first but
the more mom got sick ,the more he started believing it. I know we don't have enough
money to thank u. But from me, I thank u and respect u highly for what u've done....
I felt the bed release pressure and thought shes standing up....
Girl: if theres anything u'd want me to do for u please let me know.... She slowly walked
out after my cold silent treatment. Money? What would money do to take away my
feelings? What can money do to change everything? I don't need their money. I didn't do
this for money. I did it for my own mother and thats that.... I cried till I couldn't shed a
single tear anymore. Like a dry dam. My eyes had had enough... I ended up drifting off
to sleep...in my wedding attire .....in my bedroom.....in my in-laws and new family's
house...... Life is tricky....
.
.
.
INSERT 33.....
The next day appeared,which was Sunday and all I felt in me was clouds. My parents are
leaving today and what hurt me is that they leaving without me. I don't know If this was
meant to be permanent or temporary,jus to get along with them and please the ancestors.
"ofcos its temporary. Love is not required in this" I thought... I got up,made the bed and
headed to the bathroom to do the basics. This house was actually beautiful. Lavish was
what I'd call it. I wonder what my friend would say. Speaking of which,I had to talk to
Lerato. I made her a call as soon as I was done and she picked up...
"Mata"
Me: Hey....
"Are u okay? I had been so worried about u like cray. I thought ur pops probably killed u
and buried u"
I chuckled
Me: Nah man. im still alive....
The last time I had any contact with Lee was when my dad caused a scene at her
house....
"So friend, where did u disappear to if u still alive? "
Me: Well ....
I looked at the little strip of bracelet that the old man who declared us married put on my
hand as a sign of marriage. It was jus a small maroon robe with a few little beads. It was
kinna beautiful,to me.....
Me: Well....lets jus say....Marriage
"marriage? What d---- Wait....hol up....."
Me: Im for real
"Mata...u went through with it? "
Me: I had no choice
"Yoh ayi u are brave. So how was it? "
Me: It was nice and small. Family thing
"Why wasn't I invited?"
Me: U wouldn't make it to johburg
"What? Ur in-laws live in Jozi?"
Me: Yep. Saturn I think....
"Pssh its Santon u dweeb"
Me: Well whatever
"They sound rich"
Me: Ohh believe me. They are. And I happen to be Mrs Shezi
"Wait....Shezi? Shut the front door...U frikin married to the Shezi's? The most adored
family in the land?? My friend thats AWESOME!!!"
It hit me. I finally realized where I saw the man in the wedding from yesterday. IT WAS
SOKHULU SHEZI.....
Me: I....I...wow yea...I am...
"U married to his son? Im so jealous right now yoh...how does he look like? is he cute?
Gosh mata u've hit it big. Ur ancestors love u"
I was still trynna digest this whole thing
"Lebo!!"
Me: Uhm uh....I didn't see him. I kept my head down. I didn't wanna see him
"Girl u crazy. I'd do anything to be part of that family. I bet his cute. I know that his
mother is mixed race"
That hit me again.... It must be the coloured woman with the crutches who thanked me.
Its his mother. But whos the woman who introduced herself as his mother?
My door opened and I turned,it was my mother
Me: Friend I have to go. I'll call u later.
"Cool ur highness Shezi...*she giggled*"
We switched the call and I faced my mother....
Mom: We about to leave
Me: But ma. Do u have to leave me here?
Mom: Its ur new home. Ur new family
Me: But....I didn't even pack all my clothes...
Mom: Don't worry about that. They'll sort u out. Its better if u still have ur clothes back
home so u'll never forget home.....
Tears were forming in my eyes and fell out when I blinked
Mom: Ohh baby don't cry. We'll talk everyday....
She held me....
Mom: Promise me u'll take care of urself.....
I nodded my head and we broke the hug.
Mom: I brought u something....
She took out a mini blanket folded into a triangle and tired two ends on my
chest,leaving the rest of it to hang around on my back.
Mom: U are suppose to wear this for 3 days. Its to indicate that u are married.....
I wanted to protest against it but didn't have the power to. I was so heartbroken. We
stood up and headed outside where I bid my farewell as well as the woman I met the
night I arrived. Apparently Mr Sokhulu wasn't around. Who works on Sundays? I have a
feeling that im gonna feel alone in this family. I kept myself strong when I saw their car
disappear into the beautiful street of Jozi and went back to my room to weep. I felt
miserable... I always wanted to be alone. And that went on for some time. I was always
in the room,I ate there, well only a few bites of whatever is offered. I cried there. I had
turned into a zombie. Like a widow.... It was now 4 days after the wedding and as
always I was listening to music in my room. I felt my earphone being removed from my
ear and saw that girl again.
Nokthula: Hi....
Me: Uhm hi...
Nokthula: I was about to the movies and thought u'd like to come along.
Me: Uhm no thanks im fine....
She looked at me..
Nokthula: Please.... I jus feel like I should reach out to u. All u ever do is stay in ur
room. I know its hard to accept this but I promise u. I'll be the best sister to u. Im sorry
for interrupting ur peace...
She started walking away .....
Me: Wait....
She turned and faced me...
Me: Uhm Give me 5 minutes to find something relevant to wear....
She pulled a little smile and went out. She was right. I might as well get used to this
place. I browsed around in my clothes and really.... I didn't have much to wear. All my
clothes were back home. Nothing said "awesome" in the clothes I had. So I jus picked
out a blue dress which was below the knees with black pumps,fixed myself and went
downstairs to find Nokthula and she was sitting on the couch waiting for me. Everyone
didn't seem to be around. We went out and entered a car with a chauffeur driving us...
How cool was that?
Nokthula: Ur dress though..
Me: Ohh uh sorry jus that I left most of my clothes back home.
Nokthula: Serious? Then we'd have to do some shopping....
At first I didn't take it to head but really. We got to a very huge,big beautiful mall. It was
like the biggest mall I've ever been to. Turned out that Nokthula had a credit card and
indeed she did some shopping for me. She bought jeans,shirts,skirts, short dresses and
shoes. That shocked me. The prices of each thing we bought was expensive and she
didn't care. We even went to the salon and had a weave put on me,which was also
expensive. She already had a weave on so they jus trimmed it a bit. When I got done,
wow....I looked beautiful. I couldn't even notice who I was. I looked glamorous. When
we walked, people would turn their heads to see us. Well Nokthula is beautiful too, her
mixed race situation was on point. She was jus in the likes of Amanda du pont.
Me: Uhm im sorry for making u spend so much on me, I'l make it up to u
Nokthula: Nonsense u family now. And don't worry. I had already text dad and his the
one who sent the cash.
Me: Ohh wow uhm....im grateful....
Her and I spent the rest of the day getting to know each other, watch movies, atr ice
creams, do some jewelry shopping and a whole lot more. We got close so much I had
already felt like shes a sister. Turns out shes also doing grade 11 and studies
commercials, but im a year older than her. She told me that her mother and father don't
get along that well since her father decided to get a second wife,being the woman who
was at the dinner that day and that her brother was doing his third year in university and
his studying law. Yes....She did tell me about her brother Sandile and he seemed like a
nice guy. I had a really great day and for the first time ever since I've been here, I
smiled....
.
The next morning I woke up and brushed my teeth then headed downstairs to make
breakfast for myself. The house seemed quiet, and Nokthula was not up yet but I heard
the tv playing and thought they left it like that....I got in the kitchen humming out a song
and made breakfast for myself. I had told Ma Vinolia to stop bringing me breakfast
when I was still miserable. While frying some eggs I heard footsteps behind me, I turned
around and .....Ohh My Word.... I saw a cute light skinned guy with brown eyes and
thick eyebrows. He was wearing a vest and pyjama pants and his body was jus to die for.
He looked hot.... I literally got stuck and jus looked at him. Then I recognized him.
Wait....this is 'my husband' He had a plate in his hand....I finally got to say something...
Me: Uhm....G...Goodmorning....
He jus looked at me with a look that wasn't friendly and jus walked passed me to the
sink without responding me.... Ow....kay.... I turned back to my eggs that were already
starting to burn. I attended them ,but I was trembling. This guy was handsome....
Sandile: How did u do it?
I turned to face him....
Me: Uhhm sorry???
Sandile: How did u succeed in this? Please I know people like u. They always find a
way to claw themselves to a rich family and always come with shit tendencies to worm
themselves in. Well my lady, u certainly take the trophy....
I looked at him like WTF? ??
Sandile: U and ur shitty family and weird traditional healers can fool everyone but not
me. So please keep ur distance away from me. Nxa bloody country pumpkin....
With that said he exited the room....
WTF jus happend??????? :O :O
.
.
.

INSERT 34.......
What jus happend? oh what happend is that I jus got words that slapped me. I couldn't
believe what this guy jus said. I didn't plan this whole thing. I was in the cross fire. Who
did he think it was? At this point I felt like my 'husband' and I weren't gonna get along...
What he said to me hit me deep. I went back to being miserable again. I locked myself in
my room and spent hours crying. It hurt me to think that the person I sacrified myself for
thinks I did it for money...Nokthula knocked a few times but I pretended like I was
asleep and didn't respond her but she didnt seem to buy it. She kept on knocking.
Nokthula: Lebo open please. Whatever made u feel sad u cant endure it alone. I thought
we were going along well. I don't know where it went wrong....
Her words got to me and I stood up and let her in.
Nokthula: And then? Ur eyes look red? Whatsup.....
I sat on the bed....
Me: Listen if theres one think I want everyone in this house to know is that I don't need
ur money. I don't want it. I didn't do all this for money. I did it for my family....
Nokthula: Yea I know that and we thank u for doing it. Who said so?
Me: Ohh its ...'My husband'
Nokthula: What? he said so?
I nodded my head
Nokthula: Woah.... im sorry that I didn't mention this but Sandile can be stubborn at
times. He isn't afraid of saying out things even though they hurt. We all used to him
Me: Well as for me I don't think I'll be able to handle him.
Nokthula: *she chuckled* U dont have to. Listen im sorry about that okay?
Me: Its okay....
Nokthula: Lets go downstairs for a few scoops of ice cream.....
I couldn't say no to that. Im a big fan of ice cream....we headed over downstairs and
woah....the kitchen looked like a mess. Dirty dishes all over the place....
Nokthula: Arg Sandile!
Me: He did this?
Nokthula: Its always him. And Vinolia is on leave. Whos gonna clean all this?
I looked around...
Nokthula: Eish the guys a problem....
I helped her clean up the place. Washed all the dishes and cleaned up the stains on the
counter and other. Nokthula wasn't a good cleaner. Really ... When a person ain't used to
doing chores, it shows.. we got done and went to the lounge where we talked more about
ourselves while laughing out here and there. I enjoyed being with Nokthula. She was
talkative but sweet. She mostly reminded me of Lee. She was a nice fella.... Hours later
Mrs Shezi came back home holding alot of shopping bags. She was looking all pretty
and fancy. I could tell shes into trends.
Mrs Shezi: Girls....
Us: Hi.....
She passed over one shopping bag to me and I looked at her.
Mrs Shezi: Thats ur school uniform....
I looked at her like I was seeing an accident happen
Mrs Shezi: Schools are opening next week darling u have to be prepared....
I had even forgot about school. Like was I seriously gonna learn here?
Nokthula: Which school?
Mrs Shezi: Ur school....
Nokthula: Ohh....
Mrs Shezi: I guessed ur size. When u try it on make sure u let me know if its the perfect
size okay? ....
She modeled herself out of the room
Nokthula: "schools are opening next week ngwe ngwe u should be prepared darling"
I laughed....
Me: Hey......
Nokthula: Man this woman
Me: Don't get along?
Nokthula: We all dont along with her. Shes too bossy and fancy. I still think shes in it
for the cash. I mean shes 30 something and dad is 56. The bitch after the moola
Me: Hahaha wow.... but it isn't fine to call ur step mom bitch....
Nokthula: Bitch is what I call everyone with bitchy behaviors...
Me: Man u talk too much ....
We continued chatting and laughing. I tried on the uniform and it fit me perfectly. The
skirt was abit tight and and short. But it was because I wasn't used to skirts....
Me: How did she know this would fit me?
Nokthula: Probably because shes a fashion designer...
Me: Makes sense...
We decided to head back into the lounge and as we were about to sit, Sandile walked in
with this other chick. She was jus complicated, to me.... She had those hairstyles with
hair on one side and none on the other. She was tall, really thin and dark dressed in a
tight skirt and a crop tee that revealed the belly ring on her tummy. Meanwhile Sandile
was looking fly. He was wearing a black skinny jean thats pulled down to reveal his
Bvd, a black vest that revealed his muscles and cap that was facing backwards, but as he
saw me he gave me a very nasty look. Okay Im seriously not liking this dude....
Sandile: Ey sis....
Nokthula: Hey....
He didn't even bother to greet me. Such arrogance....
The girl: Hey Tools....
Nokthula: Hi Roxy.
Roxy: Whats up?
Nokthula: Nothing much
The Roxy chick looked at me and I fixed my eyes away from them then Sandile started
walking upstairs with the Roxy girl following him...
Nokthula: Dear mother is here
Sandile: Don't give a fuck....
I looked at her waiting for an explanation
Nokthula: I guess the whole marriage thing is still binging him up. Sorry he didn't greet
u..
Me: Nah its cool....
Nokthula: Awesome.
Me: En die meisie??? (and the girl??)
I actually asked her in that way so I wouldnt sound like im asking out of curiosity. I ain't
love this guy
Nokthula: Thats...his....girlfriend...
Me: Ohh.. She looks nice...
Nokthula: Pssh biggest bitch on the list. Another gold digger...
Me: Woah really?
Nokthula: Yea... this chick is jus too much. She actually learns at school too. In my
class. And has that "ohh sister in law" act at school that annoys me.
Me: Ouch...
Nokthula: Yea.. im glad u now in my school. I'll chill out with u and my girls...
I smiled....
Me: But she looks abit too old to be in high school...
Nokthula: Damn the chick been failing school like hell. Shes repeating grade 11 for the
4th time.
Me:Ouch. How old is she?
Nokthula:21
Me: Woah...
Nokthula: Yea. I hope u looking forward to school Monday. I can't wait to spend the last
weeks of being in grade 11 and after 2 months, Matriculants...
Me:Yea hey....im excited already....
But the thought of that im leaving my old school was hurting me. Leaving all the
teachers that love me,my friends, the people that I assist with their homeworks and Lee.
I jus didn't wanna show my hurt in front of Nokthula. We spent the rest of the day
having a girls night. Mrs Shezi went out since Mr Shezi wasn't around,apparently he had
a business trip overseas... The love birds were still in their nest. They have been in
Sandile's room for hours and I don't even wanna imagine what they doing. Disgusting....
Firstly,it hardly been a week since this guy had been declared married but his already on
someone. I don't mean to sound weird or something but really its disgusting. More to
that, he be doing it in his father's house. The nerve. Couldnt the ancestors picked a better
guy? Even if i wasnt to be in a relationship with but atleast someone I would enjoy as a
friend. Not this goat head....I was even afraid of going to my rooms coz u could hear the
moanings all the way from the stairs.
Me: Doesnt this disgust u?
I asked Nokthula as we were making dinner for ourselves. I was teaching her how to
make spaghetti and mince. Cooking was another thing in her list that she couldn't do.
Nokthula: Im used to it. I had been for the past two years.
Me: Wow ....
Nokthula: Ahh but anyway. Continue telling me....
Me: Alright uhh where was I?
Nokthula: Fetching water from the river bear footed on a cold weather...
Me: Ohh yea.....
I continued telling her about my time in the mountain including the burning of my feet
and the razor cuts and she was listening attentively. She was so intrigued and amazed by
all the things Iv been through all coz I wanted to save our parents....
Nokthula: Wow.... girl u are strong yoh
Me: Well yea....
Nokthula: This is too much for me hai no. I think I need the loo. I'll be back in a while.
Please do check my minced meat
Me: Sure.....
She walked away and I checked the pots. I heard footsteps behind me and didn't bother
checking who it was....
"Ohh uhm excuse me?"
I turned and it was Roxy dresssd in the vest that Sandile was wearing earlier. It covered
half her butt and she wasnt even wearing any panty. Hoe was written all over her that
very moment....
Roxy: My man and I are hungry so I thought I'd tell u.
I looked at her without saying a word ...
Roxy: Uhh hello. Didn't u hear me? Don't u understand what im saying. What kind of
maid are u?
Ohhh wow she jus called me a maid. I had words in me that I badly wanted to preach to
her but I didnt wanna cause trouble. I jus stared at her with silence and I think it got to
hed coz she was getting pissed....
Roxy: Know what forget it.... We'll order pizza. She turned around and walked back
upstairs. Pssh ratchet girls... Nokthula came back and we dished up for ourselves and
spent the rest of our night in her room, well because hers is further from Sandiles room
than my bedroom thats about 3 doors away from his room so we decided to kick it in
hers. After all the hours of chatting and having fun we finally set off to sleep..... I really
wondered how my life will turn out to be......
.
.
.

INSERT 35.......
Life can be really confusing and disordered. It can always make u wonder whats next.
Here I was, married, well not literally, but put in the hands of another with 'parents' that
aren't alway at home, an arrogant nigga in the house. It was all jus a mess....
The next morning we woke up and had a little chat, jus discussing about her school. It
sounded like a pretty good school. We heard a soft knock and the door jus flung open....
Sandile got in wearing only his boxers and a single gold chain on his neck. Seriously?
who does that? Its still early......
Sandile: Mtase I was wondering...if....u......
Somehow his tongue got tied when he saw me in the room,but he wasn't looking straight
at my face.....
Nokthula: Dude what happend to knocking?
Sandile: No I was jus.....know what forget it... He dashed out of the room...
Nokthula: Morning to u too!....That guy is awkward...
Me: Tell me about it....
I looked at myself and I didn't realize that my night dress was above my thighs coz of
the position I was sitting in. My light skinned legs were revealed. I guess thats why he
got tongue-tied when he saw me....
Me: Lets get up...We got up and did the basics. Nokthula got a call so I headed over
downstairs...
I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast coz I know Nokthula is a fan of breakfast. I
made beacon and toast and sided it with last night's left over mince. Nokthula came
down while I was still busy with the food preparation...
Nokthula: Hmm this looks nice....
Me: Trust me it is nice....
I passed over a plate to her and juice then settled with her on the high chairs in the
kitchen and dug in.... Minutes after the love birds came down. Roxy was dressed in a
short tight fitting dress ans Sandile was jus wearing his jean and was without a
shirt,showing off his sexy 6 packs... I swear if this guy wasn't a jack ass,I wouldve been
crazy over him. They walked straight to the door...
Roxy: I'll see yah
Sandile: I'll miss yah..
Roxy: U should come over later...
Sandile: Ayt. I love u...
Roxy: Same here...
Sandile: Come here...
I heard an exchange of a kiss. I jus indulged in my food..
Sandile: I love u my future wife...
She let out a silly chuckle
Roxy: Bye.
She left and Sandile came over us... Nokthula wanted a refill of the food so she got up
and helped herself....
Sandile: Hmmm this looks good
Nokthula: I know right....
He stole some mince,toast and beacon from her plate
Nokthula: Hey ....thats mine....
He didnt care. They were already in his mouth....
Sandile: Ohh wow dear sis u are blessed. This tastes good....
Nokthula: Uhh actually....she made it.....
What Nokthula had jus said turned into a contamination illness. Sandile started coughing
up so hard removing the rest from his mouth and rushed to the sink to drink water. We
both looked at him... He finally stopped coughing...
Sandile: Shit....
Nokthula: Uright mtase (are u okay?)
Sandile: Im cool... He then walked upstairs... I don't know much, but that was sky blue
clear that he did it deliberatly. I looked at Nokthula and she jus shrugged her shoulders. I
let it go and we continued with our breakfast and got through with the rest of the day.
The whole weekend was about Nokthula and I. We went out for movies again, for ice
cream,shopping and to the park. I really enjoyed spending time with her. The step
mom,The father and Sandile weren't around,Sandile only came in late,but Ma Vinolia
got back. Sunday evening my uniform was well ironed and nicely prepared. It was a
dark blue skirt and a white hemp with the school's emblem on the breast pocket. I was
really nervous and was trembling. I didn't even eat dinner. I went to bed early that day.
Even though I heard Mr Shezi come in,I never bothered to exit the room. I was jus
nervous about tomorrow....
.
.
"its 5 o clock in the morning. Conver---" ... Funny how this song was still my alarm ring
tone. It took me back to my past life and all the mornings I had back home. Tears felt the
need to fall but I kept them behind the eyes and went on to prepare myself for school.
My school uniform actually looks good on me. I went downstairs and to my
surprise,Nokthula was already sitting on the table with her mouth full of the food before
her.
Me: Woah get outta here
Nokthula: What? I missed Vin's breakfast
I chuckled.
Me: Ouch im offended.
Nokthula: Ey common u know u good too...
Me: Yea whatever....
I sat down and helped myself with cereals....
Nokthula: Ohh and I deserve a kiss. Since u were snoozing off last night,dad came with
ur things for school. I sorted out ur books and textbooks as well as stationery.
Everything is in the bag.... She pointed to a pink bag that was on the other chair
Me: Ohh wow u angel...
Nokthula: Ouch..im offended
We laughed
Me: U nasty wena. But thank u though
Nokthula: No sweat.
Me: And everyone?
Nokthula: Ek wiet nie. (I don't know)
Me: Is this how ur life was before I came along?
Nokthula: Hell yea. Lame right....
I shrugged my shoulders
Me: I guess u should get married too
Nokthula: Shut up...
We laughed again then got up and entered the car. The chauffeur was gonna take us to
school. Cool hey? From traveling in a bus to being driven to school by a chauffeur.
Wow...
We arrived at the school and woah... The school was so fancy. Like the American
schools I used to see in movies. It was huge and had lockers, tennis court,basketball
court,soccer field, netball court, u name them. It looked really expensive. Everyone I
came across seemed so glamourous. Most learners here were white....I fell inlove with it.
I had never imagined myself in this typa school before....I was already given my locker
number and the code so I got to it and settled my things in it. I was jus so excited and
nervous at the same time. I checked my time table and the first lesson I was gonna be
attending was Physics. Nokthula being a darling accompained me to the class and I
slowly entered. Everyone's talkings in the class got seized the minute I stepped in and all
eyes were on me. I felt my heart skip a beat. I was terrified. Most of them here were
white. Only two blacks. I browsed around and found and empty desk in the front and sat
myself there. Eyes were still on me. I jus faced my my desk and was afraid to look up at
anyone. I could hear some of them laughing at me. "She must be a reject or expelled
from another school. That would only make up for why she'd come in the last term of
the year" one white girl said. Then I heard a coloured girls voice too "Ohh I can sense
trouble here. She must be those township girls who got bursaries or something" then
another girl said"Ohh please does she look like she knows physics? Or maybe got in by
money from selling drugs".... I hadn't even spent a minute here and im already judged. I
so badly wanted to cry, but I knew I'd show weakness in their eyes so I jus held myself.
If only they knew how I came about here then none of them wouldve said the shit they
saying... Then this blonde woman came in with a textbook. She was dressed in a white
blouse and black pencil skirt and had those huge glasses. I figured shes the teacher.
Her: Goie more mense (goodmorning people)
Class: more...(morning)
Woah....okay....
She turned her head and came across my presence
Her: Ohh u must be Chattel.
I nodded my head
Her: Im Mrs Van Royen.....
I nodded again...
Mrs Van Royen: Class meet Chattel.... stand up dear
I was so afraid to look at them I jus looked down. Some were giggling
Mrs Van Royen: Common be civil and say hi to her....
They jus looked at me and kept quiet. Then this other guy seated on a desk behind mine
said "Ohh hi ...I didn't notice u there" The whole class laughed. I felt so humiliated.
Tears were already at the edge of my eyes.
Mrs Van Royen: Hey thats not nice.
They jus laughed and I took my seat.
Mr Van Royen: Be nice to her now, Mr Shezi told me that shes sensitive and is usually
quiet so watch how u treat her....
Shocking enough, everybody stopped laughing instantly the moment they heard "Shezi".
Their eyes were on me again... Awkward....
Mrs Van Royen started teaching and I took out my textbook and note book.
"I never knew Mr Sheyzi had another daughter"
"Neither did I"
"Her complection is light, not as Nokuthula buh close. She must be his"
" Man we couldve been in trouble"
I heard the same girls say that. I never knew white chick gossip. That was a shocker to
me. Time flew and it was break time. Nokthula fetched me and we chilled together at the
school cafeteria. She introduced me to her friends which was Tanya who was coloured,
Olwethu who was Xhosa and turns out shes in the same class as mine, then Angela whos
black too, she looked like a nerd. She wears glasses. They were actually nice to me. Or I
don't know, maybe its coz of my relation with Nokthula...
Tanya: I never knew ur dad had another daughter ur age? What are u to her....
Me: Uhhh im....her.....
Nokthula: Cousin....
Them: Ohhhh....
Nokthula: Now girls treat my easter egg well okay
Olwethu: We got yah.
Angela: Oh-oh...Here comes the bitch.....
I looked behind and saw Roxy coming over to us with this other chick
Roxy: Hey Thuli....
Nokthula: Roxy...
Roxy: U good? I can buy u a pie from the cafeteria...
Nokthula: No need im good...
She looked at me....
Roxy: Woah...u school here? I thought she was ur maid
Nokthula: No shes my cousin
Roxy: Ohh.... My bad....Sorry ey
Me: Its cool...
Roxy: Alright now imma see u later sister-in-law..... Love u....
She modeled herself away frome us
Nokthula: "Ohh I thought she was a maid" Bissh have u ever seen a maid working in
pjs....??
Tanya: Her breath stinks too. The dope she smokes is killing her
Me: No wonder shes so thin like a vaccination needle...
We laughed...
Olwethu: I like u already....
We laughed out butts off until the bell rang and we went back to class and I went in with
Olwethu...
.
.
.

INSERT 36.......
The day went on well. I spent most my time in class talking to Olwethu,knowing more
about her and I told her about myself too. I didn't tell her about my marriage thing, ofcos
I wouldn't tell her.... Time flew and it was already after school. I met up with Nokthula
on the locker section and we walked together with the girls...
Tanya: Ey girls I have to go and see my boo. They coming back this afternoon.
Nokthula: What?i was never told...
Olwethu: Neither was I
Tanya: Im sure they have a reason
Nokthula: Yea they been busy with some bitches...
Olwethu: Nah lets not be like that..
Angela and I were silent. I had no idea what or who they were talking about....
Angela:Guys we over here ...
Olwethu: Ohh sorry guys
Angela: Sometimes u have to give ur boyfriend some space
Nokthula: And let other girls invade our space? Hell no. Siya never called me this
weekend
Olwethu: Luvuyo told Mom he'll be back tomorrow
Nokthula: Yea his allowed coz he doesn't have a girlfriend
Olwethu:Hey lets give my brother a break...
Tanya: Okay guys Lebz is left out here.
Me: Indeed...
Nokthula: Ohh yea... Uhm Leb,Tanya is dating a guy named Rodney,im dating a guy
named Siya and Olwethu is dating Karabo. These guys are friends,jus like us ....
Me: Ohh thats nice.
Tanya: Well pretty much. We party together all the time...
Nokthula gave me a look. As if shes thinking....
Nokthula: Hey.....U could fit the puzzle...
Me:I don't follow
Nokthula:We could hit u up with Luvuyo
Tanya: Niice.... Maybe he'll forget about that skank Roxy...
Olwethu: Hmm im not sure about this...
Me: Uhhhmmm...nah I dont think so...
Nokthula: Common
Tanya: We'll be in this together
Me: And Angela?
Angela: Me??? Euwww
Tanya: Angie's immune to guys
Olwethu:Haha yoh imagine having Angie as my sister-in-law?
Angela: Weirdest thought ever
We continued talking until we saw our car come along. Nokthula and I bid the girls
farewell and we exchanged contacts we drove away..... The thought of me dating
another guy was jus biting me. After the drama with Steve, I have this thing of thinking
all guys are dogs. Guys are actually a waste of time and I dont wanna be held up by one.
Im good on my own....
The car finally got home and we entered the house. I greeted Ma Vinolia and headed off
to my room. I got there and changed out of my uniform into a simple dress. It was kinna
short, well, it was Nokthula's choice. I went out of the room and went downstairs.
Nokthula and I were already hungry and Ma Vinolia was busy in the garden,so we
prepared ourselves some sandwiches. Minutes the front door opened and we heard alot
of voices in the lounge.
Me: And that?
Nokthula: My bro and his friends
Me: Ohh...
Sandile came in the dinning room and looked at us.
Sandile: Yaz this girl is fooling u. U always eating up her food. Shes playing u
ngyak'tshela (im telling u )
Nokthula: Arg man Sandile...
Sandile: By the time u realize who she really is, she wouldve taken everything here. I
know how these country pumpkins are....
Me: Excuse me?
Sandile: Ohh ofcos u can be excused outta this house....
Nokthula: Relebogile isn't going no where until dad says so
Sandile: Ofcos, coz u daddy's precious girl and whatever shit he says goes by to u coz u
always wanna be daddys golden girl...
Wow this guy was so disrespectful.
Nokthula: Thats not fair...
Sandile: Fuck it then. U country pumpkin, better be gone
Me: U know u behaving like sone sort of spoiled brat right now and its really disgusting.
For real....
He looked at me with a serious look....
Sandile: What did u jus call me?
Me: Spoiled brat!!!!!u disgusting....
He gave me a very serious look, it was scary but I was hell angry to be that intimidated.
I could strangle him anytime. He looked at Nokthula then walked away to the lounge.
Nokthula gave me this look. Like she was shocked or something....
Me: What?
Nokthula: H....how do u do that?
Me: Do what?
Nokthula: Sandile never backs out of an argument. Like wow. Its the first time he has
ever walked out on someone whos arguing with him. Not even dad can talk through
him...
Me: Well I jus hate spoiled brats...
Nokthula: He's always like to everyone
Me: Well im not everyone and I don't tolerate nonsense.
Nokthula: I think I need to be initiated too....
We laughed and continued chatting...
"Ey Rethabile!!!!"
Me: Huh? whos that?
Nokthula: Sandile
Sandile:Rethabile!!!
Me: What does he want?
Nokthula: One way to find out...
We stood up and walked to the lounge where he was sitting with three other guys
Sandile: Damn girl do u have ear issues?
Me: H..huh?
The guys eyes were so fixed on me and it was making me feel awkward...
Sandile: Haha u mumbling now? u can't talk now? but u were talking to me like u was
talking to some shit in the dinning room.
I jus looked at him
Sandile: Fellas, this is my so called Wife. Picked by my father all the way from limpopo.
Nigga got me village pimped
They laughed. I felt so humiliated. Why is he doing this?
"But she isn't bad though. " One guy said giving me a seductive look biting his lower lip
Sandile: Tshepo ntanga common dude I mean....
He looked at me
....Shes cute and all but arg she isn't sizzling. I wouldnt even get a boner if she was
standing naked. Ugly duckling is what I'd say to her.
They laughed again so hard and I couldnt take it anymore.... I turned away and ran
upstairs to my room....
Nokthula: Why are u like this!!!? Do u know what she has been through jus for us!!!?
Sandile: Uhh....don't care
Nokthula: Arg Sandile!!!!!
I could hear that she was running after me. I got in the room and locked the door and
immediately started crying....
Nokthula: Lebo....Lebo...Leb open up....
She knocked and knocked but I wasn't about to let her in. How could Sandile be so
cruel? What did I do to him to deserve all this? I didn't want this to happen. im as
devastated as him. Im the one whos life changed because of this. Why? ......
I continued crying and Nokthula knocked for a very long time until she gave it up. I
stayed in the room for hours in a miserable state. I was sitting on the floor against the
wall with my head buried in my arms. I heard a knock again but didn't wanna answer....
Ma Vinolia: Relebogile.... They are asking for u downstairs.
I kept quiet....
Ma Vinolia: My girl the madam wont be pleased if u take ur time. Vula (open)
I dragged myself from the floor and unlocked the door.
Ma Vinolia: Dinner is served
Me: Im not hungry....
Ma Vinolia: With the crazy woman downstairs, u have no choice..... I looked at her and
fixed myself then walk downstairs. I looked like a mess and im shocked at that why she
isn't asking me anything....
Mrs Shezi: finally she arrives. U already making urself the madam of the house
Mr Shezi: We Lorraine, awume kancani (Lorraine, jus wait abit)...
I slowly took my seat which was next to Nokthula and directly opposite to Sandile....
How I hate this guy...
Mr Shezi: So...how are u my daughter?
Sandile (in a low voice): Pssh daughter...
Me: Uhhm...im okay...
Mr Shezi: Alright... im sure u know me and I know u and I haven't really seen each
other...
I nodded my head....
Then aunt Vinolia came in with the food and set it up on the table. Her and Mr Shezi had
this weird eye contacting that I jus couldn't understand. He raised his eyebrows to her
and she blushed but was hiding it. That was jus weird. She got done and attempted to
leave...
Mr Shezi: Don't leave Vinolia...Eat supper with us...
Ma Vinolia: I...
Mrs Shezi: Is that necessary Sokhulu.. ?
Mr Shezi: Everyone is family here..
Ma Vinolia immediately sat down on the seat next to mine and we started distributing
the food and dug in. It amazed me that they don't pray before they eat. I started eating
and ran my eyes across Sandile who was giving me a straight look. My presence wasn't
pleasing him...
Mr Shezi: So Relebogile, how was ur day?
Me: I...it was...fine
Mr Shezi: Really?
I nodded my head...
Mr Shezi: Ey...Sandile. Whats this I hear of u making fun of the poor girl in front of ur
friends??
I froze...
Sandile: Don't know what u talking bout....
Mr Shezi: So Vinolia is crazy?
He looked at her....
Sandile: I was jus having fun
Mr Shezi: Xolisa (apologise)
Sandile: U weren't even there
Mr Shezi: Ey wena ngithe xolisa(I said apologised)
He gave me a cold stare....
Sandile: I'm sorry....
Mr Shezi: Good....
Sandile suddenly threw the fork on his plate rudely and stood up...
Sandile: Yazin.... (U know what)
Fuck it. Im sick of u old man. U lousy and u jus annoying Gosh!! Everything has to be
bout u well im sick.... nxa sala na lento yakho...(stay with ur thing) .... he walked away...
Mr Shezi: Sandile!!
Mrs Shezi: Habe.... !
We were all stunned by his actions. Mr Shezi was already embarrassed of him.... Sandile
is such an ass... His so disrespectful...Now I now that this nigga and I are never gonna
mix...
.
.
.
.

INSERT 37.......
Next day I got up and did the basics. Got in my uniform and neatly tied my weave. I
finished and went out. I passed Mr Sokhulu's office and I heard sounds. Sounded like
two people...uhh I'd rather not mention it. Euww how can these people be doing this
early in the morning. The Shezis never seize to amaze me. I continued walking
downstairs and no one was around, but the food was nicely put on the table. I sat down
and helped myself... Moments after Nokthula comes downstairs making noise like she
was arguing with someone and she appeared with Sandile....
Nokthula: Not everything has to be about u
Sandile: Whatever Nokthula
Nokthula: Sandile all this is because of u. These two rivals are there because u crossed
the cross line and stabbed a friend in the back.
Their argument was intense that they weren't observing my presence... Whatever they
arguing about must be serious...
Sandile: Not my fault that Roxy chose me
Nokthula: Ohh le skhebereshe (oh that hoe)
Sandile: Yey!!! don't get me started.
She kept quiet....
Sandile: Nxla...
He turned to me....
Sandile: Morning dear wife. So awun tshele, uhamba nini kahle kahle? (so tell me, when
are u leaving exactly?)
I gave him a nasty look
Sandile: Ngyabuza (im asking)
Me: Don't u have something better to do than to fuck up my day??...
He looked at me then clicked his tongue and walked out.
Nokthula: Dont listen to him
Me: Mxm I ain't scared of him...
Nokthula: I'd be if I was u....
We ate breakfast and Ma Vinolia came in after a while
Ma Vinolia: Morning...
Us: I looked at her and something wasn't on about her. Her uniform wasn't on point. The
front was on the back and the black doek she was wearing wasn't nicely put on
"rough morning" I said to myself...
Everyone in this house is jus awkward.....
.
.
.
"Hi" ....I quickly snapped out of it while I was day dreaming about nothing on that
week's friday in the school cafeteria breaktime waiting for the girls to buy whatever. I
looked before me and noticed is the guy that sits behind my desk...
Me: Hi....
Him: Chattel right?
Me: Yep...
Him: Romeo
Me: Ohh. Hi Romeo
Rome: U can call me Rome
Me: Thats nice....
The girls finally appeared.
Rome: ladies....
Tanya: Ohh hey Rome
Rome: Mind if I join u today? Something attracted me here...
Nokthula: Hahaha ohh wow... well sure...
Rome: As u wish Shezi....
We settled down with him and he was cracking jokes to us. Rome was really funny but
was calm spirited. He wasn't that bubbly and hey, hes handsome... Angela wasn't really
involved in our conversation. Her mind was jus somewhere else.
Me: Angie? U okay?
Angie: Im good...
Rome looked at her and she immediately looked aside... ohh that explains it.
Tanya: So Rome...Tomorrow is on right?
Rome: Well yea. The guys will be there.
Nokthula: Cool....
Rome: Is ur brother coming?
Nokthula: I dont know. His been offish these days. We don't talk on some terms....
Rome: I wonder how u live with that guy....
We continued talking until break was over then headed off to our classes ....
Rome: So... u from Limpopo?
Me: Well yea ....
Rome: I never knew Limpopo has pretty girls like u...
I blushed...
Olwethu: Hey im here...
Rome: U not forgotten...
Olwethu: Right.....
Rome: Anyway....are u coming to tomorrow's chillas?
Me: Uhhh I don't know....
Rome: Common it would really bs nice if u did...
Me: I'll see...
Rome: Cool. Uhm ur numbers....
I gave him my numbers then shift my attention to what the English teacher was about to
preach about....
The chillas thing wasn't sitting well with me. The last time I went to a "party", I was
ditched and without a plan of heading. Ohh dear Steve had hurt me in ways
unpredictable. I don't know if I'd ever do things I did with him. Chill at the back of the
library, annoy those who were against us and the crazy movie we watched and the traffic
cop thing... He had left a void in me. And because of his betrayal and wickedness I wont
be able to trust anyone. Not even myself....
School went out,the girls and I were chilling at the usual spot we do when waiting for
our transports. The girls were talking but I wasn't really participating. The Sandile
attitude thing has had me hard, I hardly spoke that week.
Tanya: Hello... Dear lebo.
Me: Im listening
Tanya: No u not. Probably thinking about something..
Olwethu: Or someone...
Nokthula: Ohh... know something we don't??
Olwethu: Rome was all complimenging her in class.
Them: oohh
Olwethu: Thats not all, he asked her to come to the chillas
Nokthula: Ofcos she was gonna come. I wouldnt leave her behind
Angie: Uhh guys I have to leave
Nokthula: Uyaphi manje wena (where are u going now)
Angie: Uh hai I wanna go to the library for something
Tanya: Hmm sure Angie....
Without a goodbye, Angie left. That was now awkward.
Olwethu: Hai ke.
Nokthula: Rome though? Hai Lebo and him wont mix. His too much of a gentle
breeze... plus I don't think I want my buba to date a white nigga while im rolling with a
black hood nigga
Olwethu: The Luvuyo thing can still be organised
Me: Hey love doctors, chill it...
We laughed and continued the conversation till Ben came along(our chauffeur) ....
Olwethu: Auuh really?? I really wanted to introduce u to Luvuyo. He said hes picking
me up today
Nokthula: Chill friend....Tomorrow is a day
Olwethu: U right....
Me: Riiighht....
We shared hugs with them and entered the car then drove away back home. When I got
there, I immediately changed then went out with my books....
Nokthula: and the books?
Me: If I am to go to this party thing of urs then I wanna go there with no thought of
homework in my brain.
Nokthula: Ey u such a smarty pants
Me: Whos unfortunately married to a arrogant pants...
She laughed...
Nokthula: Thats a nice one.
She suggested that we write our work in her dads office. We got there and she sat on his
seat while I sat on the couch and wrote our homeworks.
Nokthula: Lemme go get some juice....
Me: Cool....
She got up and went out. I browsed my eyes around the room, it was pretty cool. But too
dark, atleast the chairs the red. I felt an umcomfortability on my butt on the couch, I
stood up and couldn't believe what I found.
A dark blue bra that was stuffed into the couch... Euww this office is weird. I didn't even
wanna imagine what was going on here. Mr Shezi and Mrs Shezi must be the nastiest
couple on earth... Nokthula came into the room
Me: Ey u have the nastiest parents ever....
Nokthula: Euww put it away, put it away....
I laughed..
Nokthula: Hei... Lets continue with our homeworks. I wanna get sloshed tomorrow. We
continued with our work until something hit me hard. Wait.....Yesterday I saw Vinolia
bra less after disappearing for about an hour. Could it be?
I so wanted to mention it to Nokthula, but hey, how do u explain that u suspect the dad
of someone close to u to be cheating? I'd rather not say anything until I have proof..But
those two, Something is definitely up and going....
.
.
.
.
Next morning I got up and went downstairs where I saw Nokthula eating breakfast and
Ma Vinolia cleaning up the kitchen surface. I gave her a look and she looked at me. I
could tell my assumptions are true... I passed her without any goodmorning and went to
the dinning room.
Me: Up already?
Nokthula: Ey last night's steak didn't fill my tummy, hunger called out for the best.
Me: Wow. It should do that more often. Ur system of waking up later than 9 in the
morning is really off....
Nokthula: Yea yea whatever.
We spent the rest of the morning watching tv and when time was right, we went to take
a bath and got dressed. Nokthula was dressed in a short and a crop top while I was in a
short black jumpsuit with a red crop top. Im a fan of red so I wore red sneakers and
accessorised in more red and black. We were looking beautiful hey..... We entered the
car and drove off...
Me: Do u think its appropriate for us to be taken by ur father's chauffeur. Wont he snitch
on us?
Nokthula: Ohh no sweety iv already told daddy and he knows that we going out.
Me: Ohh wow. My dad wouldve never agreed. Even if the party was next door.
Nokthula: Well....My dad and I are cool...
We drove and finally arrived to this other house. It was a mansion. I don't know what is
it with kids throwing parties at their parents houses. We exited the car and it drove away.
Nokthula hit a button alongside the gate and a voice responded. it looked like an
intercom.
"Yea"
Nokthula: Open up
"Or I could jus leave u there and watch ur sexy body from the inside"
The voice sounded familiar....
Nokthula: Siya vula tuu (Siya open)
The guy chuckled...
"Im kidding"
The gate automatically opened and we walked inside the yard. The house was already
booming with music. They were playing Emtee's song Roll up. I could tell that this was
a hood party. We got to the door and jus got in. Olwethu was near the door
Olwethu: Ohh glad u made it...
Nokthula: Wouldn't miss it for the world.
Olwethu: Hey Lebz. Looking good there
Me: Really? thanks
Nokthula: Ey plus that ass, shes gonna turn heads.
Olwethu: As long as it isn't our man's heads. Only Luvuyos
Me: Ahh common guys
Nokthula: Speaking of which wheres my man?
Olwethu: Follow me....
We followed her to the sitting room. Man the music was booming. It could tear ur ears
off... The sound system was loud. We got there and found Tanya
Me: Tey...
Tanya: Eyy u look nice.
Me: Well thank u hey...
"Well isn't it the beautiful ladies" I heard a voice behind us and Nokthula immediately
smiled from ear to ear.
Olwethu: Where have yall been?
I slowly turned my head to see the guys and OH MY GOSH.... I couldn't believe who
they were. No it cant be...... :O :O
"you........."
.
.
.

INSERT 38......
I thought my eyes were deceiving me. I felt like running away,but there was no way I
could run away from these guys again. It was the guys that helped me in the night of my
escape from home. They were also shocked to see me. They looked at each other then
looked back at me.
Nokthula: Dont jus stand there....
The guy who was on the passanger side snapped out of it and hugged Nokthula. Im
guessing his Siya. I looked at the guy who rescued me shyly and his facial expression
was priceless. He was truly amazed seeing me. Some dark guy came into the dinning
dancing followed by some coloured guy.
Him: Krapa fasa baba lets...Start rolling up the jets!!!!! Ey yo lets get this party
started...!!!
Coloured guy: Theres still plenty of time for that. I wanna chill with my bae.... He
walked over to Tanya and they shared a kiss...
Dark guy: En then? Mina ke? (what about me?)
Olwethu: Hai u should come over to me.
Dark: Mxai wa tsenwa (u crazy)
Olwethu walked to him and they shared a kiss..
The guy who rescued me: Hai wethu not infront of me...
Olwethu: Askies brother wam
Then the guys all looked at me
Coloured guy: En sy? (and her?)
Nokthula: Ohh guys meet my cuzin Relebogile, but u can call her Lebz...
I waved my hand...
The guy who rescued me: Another Shezi ....
Dark guy: Ohh and shes a shy one
Nokthulas guy: Indeed...
Nokthula: Lebz this here is my boyfriend, Siya (pointing at the guy who insulted me that
night)
Siya: Uhuh....Sure....
He said that giving me a look
Me:ya...
Nokthula: And he (pointing at Tanya's bf,the coloured guy) is Rodney...
Rodney: Hw u doing
Me: Im good ....
Nokthula: And he (pointing at Olwethu's bf) Is Karabo....
Karabo: Or kayb
Olwethu: Or Karabo
Kayb: But Kayb is sexier
Olwethu: Ohh please...
They laughed and I jus faked a smile....
Nokthula: Last, he(pointing at the guy who rescued me) is......
Him: Let me introduce myself......Im Luvuyo my lady....
Nokthula: Woah....hmmm
Everyone said"woooooo"
Rodney: Yea thats how u do it ma nigga...
Me: I....its nice meeting u...
Kayb: Right intros done. Now lets party. We have booze that could last for over a
month...
Tanya: Where are the others?
Kayb: They coming. We ain't gonna wait for em... Niggas, lets go and unload the shit in
the car..
He kissed Olwethu on the cheek and walked towards the door with the guys following
him. Luvuyo turned and looked at me then faced the way....
Nokthula: Oohh the trap has been set. His into u...
Tanya: "My lady"
Olwethu: Haha man this is crazy...
Tanya: Crazy is what we all bout my biish...
Me: Where is Angela?
Nokthula: Pss please that chick is always indoors, she'd never come.
Me: Ohh
Olwethu: Yea. Lets prepare the snacks and all. People will be coming in soon...
We headed over the kitchen and prepared snacks and started making kebabs mini hot
dogs...
Tanya: Guess who jus arrived?
Olwethu: Jacob Zuma
Nokthula: Yea and his whole family
Tanya: U could put it that way though...
Me: Who is it?
Tanya: Ur dear cuzin and his hood rat.
Nokthula: Sandile??
Tanya: Yep.
Olwethu: Hope he wont pop up some trouble.
Tanya: Well then we have to keep Luvuyo away from him.... Someone has to distract
him
Then they became silent and looked at me....
Me: Wait....uh uh...
Nokthula: C'mon ntanga. Sandile and Luvuyo don't get along well.
Me: Why me?
Olwethu: C'mon its obvious his interested in u 'my lady'
Tanya: Pretty please.....
Nokthula: Please
Olwethu: Please..
Me: Arg okay....
We walked out the kitchen with the snacks and put them on the dinning room table and
sitting room. People had already come. Jus some black and coloured guys and some
hood rats (Hoes) who were hardly dressed anf had several piercings. Nokthula and I
walked over to the backyard and thats when I saw Sandile, his hood rat and the guys that
he humiliated me in front of them. When he saw me, hw looked disgusted. He said
something to Roxy and the guys then he walked away from them. He seemed to be
coming our way... I faced the other side but unfortunately he came to us. Great....
Sandile: En then? uphambene wena Nokthula? (Are u crazy?)
Nokthula: Yini manje? (what now?)
Sandile: Why did u bring her here?
Nokthula: Jus like u, she has the right to be here.
Sandile: The fuck!? This country pumpkin doesn't deserve to be here
Nokthula: Sandile can u jus stop it
Sandile: Nx.... Wena Ne? (u neh?)
He clicked his tongue then walked back to his friends. The Tshepo guy saw me and gave
me that seductive look again. He was biting his lower lip which looked awkward. I
turned my way and went back into the house and as usual, I sat in the sitting room jus
singing along to the song that was playing...
Me: Every rap king need a theme song. Every trap queen need a king kong....
"Put u on the team,put a ring on. Long live supermega live long. Mabebeza u the
missing piece of my jigsaw".....
I looked up and saw Luvuyo...
Luvuyo: And what do u know, she likes hip hop
I looked down and blushed
Luvuyo: Why u always alone?
Me: Well I prefer to be alone
Luvuyo: But thats dangerous. Last time I saw u alone u were almost mugged ...
Me: Uhm.... About that night...im sorry...
Luvuyo: Nah im the one whos sorry. Siya wasn't acting cool on u.
Me: Its okay ... Thank u for rescuing me that night...
Luvuyo: Its the least I can do...
He sat down and we got to talk and get to know each other well. His a really nice guy
and his smile was attracting. I liked him.
Luvuyo: How bout I get u a drink?
Me: Uhm sure....
Luvuyo: Right...I'll be back jus now.... He stood up and went to the kitchen. Then the
Tshepo guy walked in and looked at me...
Tshepo: Ohh hey u
Me: Hi
He brought his hand and ran it across my face. I yanked it off and he smiled....
Tshepo: Man u so cute.
Me: Uhm thanks..
I looked down but I still felt his eyes on me. When I looked at him, he was starring at
my thighs biting his lower lip. The jumpsuit I was wearing was short itself. This guy
looked like a pervert. Luvuyo walked in with two cans of ciders and looked at him...
Tshepo: Eyy Vuvu
Luvuyo: Tshepo...
Tshepo: Ohh shes rolling with u? Man good choice. U really know how to choose
rebounds...
Luvuyo: Tshepo don't patronize me
Tshepo: I was jus saying...
Luvuyo: Know what, Lebo lets go..
This guy's presence was freaking me out so I didn't hesitate to stand up and followed
him outside....
Me: What was that about?
Luvuyo: Nothing important...
Me: It looked serious
Luvuyo: Lets forget about it...
We continued our conversation, we connected and laughed. Luvuyo was a really good
soul to be around. I felt like I knew him forever. We had alot in common...
Me: I need the bathroom
Luvuyo:Ohh ok I can take u there
Me: uhm no need. Jus direct me
Luvuyo: Alright its the 4th door upstairs on the right...
Me: Cool. Be back in a minute
Luvuyo: Ofcos. U wouldn't leave me here alone would u?
I smiled and walked to the house. I went up the stairs and counted the doors as I was
directed and I found it. I entered and did my deed,washed my hands and walked out. I
heard voices in one of the room and attempted to walk away, but they were familiar... I
stopped to eavesdrop
"Baby u know I want u"
I recognized that it was Roxy's voice
"But u still with him"
I recognized that as Tshepos voice....
Roxy: Yea I know
Tshepo: Roxy im getting impatient. U can't be fucking with Sandile and fuck with me at
the same time.
What!?
Roxy: But....
Tshepo: No buts Roxy. Im sick of being patient with u and him. Does he fuck u better
than I do?
She kept quiet...
Tshepo: Im guessing that u pick him...nxa ...
I heard footsteps towards the door and I quickly entered the bathroom again so that the
person couldn't see me....Could it be? Roxy's cheating on Sandile with his bestfriend?
Man things in this place are nasty........
.
.
.

INSERT 39.......
What I heard was a huge shocker to me. I didn't expect this at all. I held myself against
the wall and held my breath. I heard steps coming to the bathroom and the door opened,
thats when I met eyes with Tshepo....
Me: "H...hey u...didn't knock"
He gave me that seductive look again biting his lips
Tshepo: Watchu up to?
Me: "What do u mean?"
He then moved his head towards mine and sniffed me on my neck as if he was neck
kissing me. I was scared. He was creeping me out. I slowly shifted away from him...
Tshepo:What baby? C'mon...
He came closer to me and I walked backwards until I hit the shower wall. He caught up
with me and our bodies came into contact.His eyes had pure lust in them. His hand
moved to my thigh and I yanked it off but he put it back again, I yanked it again and he
kept doing the same....
Me: "Hey...stop that"
But he kept doing so and he held on them tight,then he moved his head towards my neck
again and he was firm I couldn't push him off...
Me: "Tshepo"
Tshepo: Ohh...u know my name? Sexy...
I tried escaping him but he was jus too firm.
Me:"Let me go"
Tshepo: No.. we still having fun...
What this guy is doing was creepy and I was scared. I couldnt think of an action,his
body was pressed on tight to mine...He kept on harassing me. In a flick of a moment,the
door flung open and that made him jump away from me. I looked over to the door and
guess what? Its Rome
Rome: Ohh uhm im sorry if im disturbing something .....
He looked so astonished to see me. I saw disappointment in his eyes... I looked at
Tshepo and I got in disgust of him.
I couldn't be in the same room with that guy, I immediately ran out of the bathroom. I
couldn't believe Tshepo. What wouldve happend to me if Rome hadn't come in. What
was his aim? ....
I went downstairs and walked up to where Luvuyo was trembling like I had jus seen a
ghost. My gosh, I was harassed. My spirit was down, I didn't want anything or anyone. I
saw that Luvuyo was talking to some guy so I quickly walked to some garden far from
where everyone was. The moment I went out of sight,since it was in the evening it was
easy to escape. I cried. He hadn't done anything but I felt humiliated. None has ever
happend in my life. I cried, and cried and cried.....
"Yo.... do u have a lighter?"
I heard a voice and quickly wiped off my tears and noticed it was some girl. She looked
like a tomboy. She had piercing on her nose and mouth and had a small dred done on her
hair with a red bandana on it. Looking down on her she was wearing a black shirt with a
bikers leather jacket, black skinny jean and Timberlands...
Her: Yo...Lighter?
I jus disagreed with my head...
Her: U okay?
I nodded my head
Her: U sure?
I nodded again
Her: Fuck would u stop nodding and jus talk
I looked down
Her: U look like u were crying
Me: " Uhm no I wasn't"
Her: Ur face is red. Boyfriend issues?
Me: "uhh"
Her: Know what, never mind. Im Kaycee
Me: Lebo
Kayce: U need an upliftment?
I nodded.
Kayce:Wait here....
She walked away then came back minutes after with a lighter... She took out a piece of
paper and a little plastic stacked with what looked like weed. She took it out and started
shredding it then put it on the piece of paper and rolled it up. She put it on her mouth
and lit it up then started smoking. She puffed then brought it towards me.
Me: "I.....I dont smoke"
Kayce: Do u wanna get better or what?
I looked at her then looked at it. Slowly my hand went up to hers and got hold of it. I
had no choice, my head was spinning with stress. I put it to my mouth and slowly took a
breath in. I took a long one and choked myself and started coughing....Kayce laughed...
Kayce: Dude jus puff it...
I gave it a try again and I breathed the smoke out... I puffed again and again and again.
With every puff, I felt a feeling of sensation in me. Like I was taken to a higher level. I
felt like flying away. I felt good. I was even laughing...
I walked away from the garden and went towards the others where I saw Nokthula. I saw
her in pairs and it seemed like she was walking upside down. I tried to touch her...
Nokthula: Hey where have u been?
Me:"I wanna dance...Ohh my body feels GOOD!!!"
Although she seemed blurry , I could see she looked confused.. Arg I hated her worry.
Why would she worry when im happy? I was on cloud 9....Make that 20.
Nokthula: Have u been smoking?
Me:"What!!!!! M...e.. ?Me? uh-uh...I was getting lit"
I felt my body being flexible and I started dancing. I wasn't a fan of house but I was
dancing. I felt my body mooove...
Me: "Haai....Lengom Inced'umoya!!!" I sang out within the last of my tone. I saw
multiples of alcohol on the table and I helped myself. The drinks were hot on the chest
but I didn't stop gulping them. All my worries were gone. While I was dancing, I felt
someone pull my arm and I looked back, I couldn't make out who it was...
"I think u've had enough to drink"
Me: Uh uh...Ke nyaka go nwa!!!!(I wanna drink)
"Ohh thixo...(oh God)...
The person pulled me and started walking. I didnt wanna leave the dance floor. I was
still having fun.
Me: "Hey....the party is not over yet"
The person then picked me up
Me:"Hey let me down..I wanna dance. Why does everyone wanna see me sad? don't I
deserve to be happy?I am happy and u stopping me from hating everyone. Let me
go!!!!"
I was now crying. This was unfair...
He didn't listen, he put me in the backseat of a car and closed the door. I felt dizzy.
Suddenly I felt the dark coming in. My eyes shut and that was the end of me.....
.
.
.
My eyes felt a penetration of sunlight and I opened my eyes. My head was banging. I
had a huge headache. I looked around and I was in a place I couldn't make out of. I got
up and rubbed my eyes then took a look again. I was in a bedroom I didn't know. White
sheets,white curtains. It was nice, but I don't know where I was. I took off the sheets and
found myself in a bra and bikini. I freaked out. Ohh no. What happend? Where am I? I
quickly got off the bed and my clothes were lying on a little couch alongside the bed.
Ohh know. This better be not what I think it is. Did I sleep with someone? Who is that
someone? The adrenaline in me was driving me nuts. I paced up and down to try to
remember what happend last night but nothing came to ring. I was blank. What if I am
kidnapped and raped? No..This can't be happening. I took my shirt and I was about to
dress up when the door flung open. I screamed and covered myself with the sheet
Luvuyo: Ohh im sorry I...I shouldve knocked
Me: "Luvuyo...U"
Luvuyo: Uhh,morning
Me: "What why? Did we? Ohh no...Oh God no"
Luvuyo: Wait....woah.. woah woah woah slow down.
Me:"wait.....U took advantage of me!!!!!Did u!!!!!"
Luvuyo: What!? Ofcos not
Me:"How come im here, half naked and u also shirtless?"
Luvuyo: Listen....I promise u. Nothing happend...
I looked at him
Luvuyo: U were wasted last night so I decided to come with u here. U threw up on ur
clothes and ur temperature was high so I undressed u and let u sleep on my bed and I
slept on the couch....
Me:"O....ohh"
Luvuyo: I'd never take advantage of u Lebo...
I looked down ....I felt embarrassed.
Luvuyo: Uhm let me let u dress up. Breakfast is downstairs...
He walked out. I started dressing up quickly and searched around for my shoes until I
found them. This was the second time Luvuyo has saved me. I got out and looked
around for a bathroom till I found one. I got in,washed my faced and rinsed my mouth. I
took a look in the mirror and I looked terrible. I had eye bags and my weave was jus
unpredictable. I fixed myself then walked out. This place looked like a flat. I walked
ahead and heard voices of people talking and laughing... I appeared in the dinning room
and saw the girls and guys....
Nokthula: Finally u awake...
They all looked at me...
Kaybe: ohh Isn't it the wild dancer?
Tanya: Man I didn't know u could dance like that
They laughed.
Me: "What happend? "
Olwethu: Lemme tell u what happend. U got fucked up. U were sloshed
Tanya: Yea u were on some "Bring all the booze to me"
Olwethu: I never knew u could be as wild as that
Siya: Ey....never trust an innocent face.
Nokthula: All thanks to Luvuyo. His the one who brought u here..
I looked at him and he looked back
Me:"Uhm...Thank u"
Luvuyo: Its a pleasure
Me: "Cool. Okay does someone here know how to heal a hangover?"
They laughed at me once more and we had a chat as a group. I felt more closure to them.
This group was actually fun to be around. I felt part of them. My soul felt smooth. Yes I
did remember the Tshepo thing, but it didn't matter anymore. When im around these
cats, im at peace. Nokthula had packed a night bag so we basically took a shower and I
changed into the extra clothes she had for me then head over for departure. Siya was
going to take us home. As I sat in the backseat waiting for Nokthula to fetch whatever
that she forgot, Luvuyo came to my window
Luvuyo: Will u be okay? U weren't really fine last night
Me:"Im fine. And again....Thank u..."
Luvuyo: Cool... And ey Siya,man u owe the girl some apology
Siya: Ahh but I think we cool aren't we?
Me:"Ofcos"
Siya: Sure.
Luvuyo: Alright. Il see u around.
Me: "I'll see u around"
Nokthula came in the car then drove off. The car left us in town at wimpy and she called
our chauffeur to come and take us home while in the meantime helping ourselves with
ice cream. He came after around 20 minutes and in no time we were home. I wanted
nothing but to rest my body. I was so exhausted and had no percent of energy in me. I
wondered how these people party and wake up normal and stable the next day. I went
into my room and drifted off to lala land.....
.
.
.
INSERT 40.....
Tanya: Man the party was lit
Nokthula: yea jus as other parties
Olwethu: Yoh but u though...
Me: "Ey leave me alone. Can we forget about the party? its been 4 days already"
Angie: So...was Rome there?
Nokthula: Awkward enough, he jus came and left early.....
Rome here was another situation. He has been ignoring me since the week started for
some reason I don't know. He doesn't even greet me nor even looks at me. I don't know
what was up with him coz really, him and I were turning out to be good friends....
Angie: Ohh
Tanya: En jy? (and u? )
Angie: What?
Tanya: U looking like a potato when we mention Rome
Angie: Ohh please...
Olwethu: U like him....Ohh yea...
Nokthula: Uhuh....
Angie: What? no... Dont be silly
Tanya: Really?
Angie: Yes. Whats the point, hes interested in Lebo
Me:" What no. Im not into him anyway"
Olwethu: See, go for him
She looked aside and blushed
Nokthula: Ohh look shes blushing
Angie:C'mon...
The school bell rang breaking the break period and we headed over to class and I settled
myself on my seat with Rome still giving me a silent treatment... In hours later, school
was dismissed and I walked out of my class. I saw Rome walking in front of me and I
tried catching up with him but he was walking faster.
Me:"Rome.... Wait....can we talk? "
Rome: Im sorry but im on a hurry to do something so I can't
Me: " What is ur problem?"
He stopped then turned to look at me
Rome: Do u really wanna talk about it? Chattel Im into u
Me:"What? "
Rome: I wouldve liked us to be an item. Thats why I invited u to the party. U showed up
yea but came up with a whole lotta shit. Fuck Chattel!!!!
Me:"Woah what? Rome...I don't like u. Like....I do like u , not like that..."
Rome: Well I get it now. u didnt have to hoe about it. Sleeping in a bathroom. The party
hadnt even starting yet and u were already goofing around guys like Tshepo..
His words hit a nerve in me. It hurt me.
Me:"What?? Is that what u think of me!? Rome I was fucking harassed and u thinking I
was whoring is what u think of me!? Know what? Im sorry for disappointing u. U
should try Angie since shes into u. Its cool Romeo"
I quickly walked away from him with tears already spreading across my face. I could
hear him call out my name but I didn't care. His words hurt me deep. Out of all things a
person can make out of me, with jus a misunderstanding im judged into something im
far from being. I met up with Nokthula and she told me that she had told the chauffeur to
fetch us later in the afternoon so she could spend time with Siya. So I had to find
something to do till then. I decided to take a travel to the nearest mall. As I was walking,
a certain car slowed down aside of me. I looked at it and it was a blue Audi TT coupe
banging up with music. The window rolled down.
"Need a lift my lady"
I don't trust guys with cars so I ignored him
"Hau. Im asking my lady. It ain't like it would be the first time u got into my car"
I stopped and went down abit to get a vision of who this guy was and
well...well....well....It was Luvuyo....
Me:"Ohh hi"
Luvuyo: Hey... Been waiting for ur call
Me:"I... was caught up in a few things"
Luvuyo: Thats what they all say..
Me:"But im for real"
Luvuyo: Step in the car
I looked at it first....
Luvuyo: C'mon. U owe me that much...
He was right. He had done alot for me and I owe him much. I opened the door and I got
in the car then he drove off. He was looking handsome and kinna making me feel
nervous. All that made a sound was the song that was playing. He was banging A
Reece's song Couldn't and the speaker was a really loud. He turned the music lower.
Luvuyo: So...how have u been?
Me: "not bad"
Luvuyo: 'not bad'
He imitated me
Me:"C'mon"
Luvuyo: So where were u heading to?
Me: "Jus around the mall. I thought I'd jus enjoy myself"
Luvuyo: Again... alone
Me:"Well yeah."
Luvuyo: Well allow me to show u how fun it is to be around people.
Me: " Ow..be my guest"
We had a small chat in the car as it drove to whatever place that he said he was taking
me. We drove to some place downtown that looked hoodish. Well I have no problem
with that. I grew up in a township anyway
Luvuyo: I hope u eat bunny chows
Me:"Yea I do"
Luvuyo: Great.
He went out of the car and walked up to my side then opened the door for me. Wow, his
such a gentleman. One thing I had seen happen in movies finally happen to me. This guy
was really something else. I found myself blushing. I slowly got out and he closed the
car door behind me. The place wasn't bad and there weren't alot of people present there.
Luvuyo: May I?
He held out his hand for mine and I held it. We walked inside holding hands. Cute
right?....
As we entered, man I would swear I was walking with some celebrity. Every guy we
passed would greet him. He seemed well known. All eyes were even on us. We got to
the shop seller
Him: Ntwana
Luvuyo: Ey boy. Awung'shaye nge usual yam (hit me with my usual)
Him: Sho sho. En uMrs?
He looked at me...
Luvuyo: Hai jus gimme two of them
Him: Right ntanga.
He walked away to prepare the bunny chows
Me: "U seem well known"
Luvuyo: I always bang out here so yea. Almost everyone knows me here.
Me:"Interesting"
He looked at me and smiled. I jus blushed and looked aside, but I could still feel his eyes
on me.
The guy: Here u go Ntanga.
He took the bunny chows and two cans of cold drink and paid for them then we walked
out. There were sets of plastic chairs and tables outside and we sat in one of the tables
Luvuyo: Right...heres a taste of my life.
He passed it up to me
Me:"Thanks"
This thing was truly big. It had alot included in it. I didn't even know where to start. I jus
looked at it.
Luvuyo: Anything wrong?
Me:"Uhh nothing. I jus....don't know where to start with this"
He chuckled
Luvuyo: Jus eat it section by section...
Me:"Right"
I took a bite of it and woah. It was hot. It had chillies in it and it was burning up my
tongue. I quickly opened the cold drink and drank it up. Luvuyo jus laughed at me
Luvuyo: U okay?
Me:"Man how do u eat this thing? "
Luvuyo: U'll get used to it...
We started talking and bonding again pretty lot. I enjoyed being with this guy. He made
me feel things that I had never felt before. Not even with Steven. With him, I felt like
Steven was chapter that was closen years ago. As I was eating, he was looking at me
dearly with concentration.
Me:"U know u making me feel embarrassed with u looking at me while im eating"
Luvuyo: Ohh uhm forgive me my lady. I jus cant hold myself against all this beauty
thats in front of me.
Me:"Really?"
Luvuyo: Lebo. u beautiful. Ur eyes, ur mouth, ur completion. U jus perfect. And when
Im with u,I feel at peace... And honestly, I know this is weird but im falling for u. I
never love a woman after knowing her for a while but with u I can't help myself....
Me:"Wh....What are u saying?"
Luvuyo:Lebo...im asking u. From deep within my heart,if u could be my girlfriend...
What! ? :O
Luvuyo: I know its crazy but u all I think about. Please give me this chance ..
As much as I would love to, I wasn't sure. The steven thing had completely closed me up
from guys.
Me:" Uhm.... Can I atleast think about it ?"
Luvuyo: Sure. Take all the time u need....
I gave him a smile and our talks continued... We got done with our food and we went
back into the car and drove back into town. He dropped me off at the mall...again he
opened the door for me. God why is this guy so perfect...
I got out and stood on the side as he closed the door then he turned and looked at me.
Me:"Uhm thanks for taking me out."
Luvuyo: Anytime my lady...
We had a eye contacting going on until I looked aside.
Luvuyo: Hau....hug nyana?
I blushed and got closer to him and hugged him shyly. His cologne smelt so nice I felt
like not letting go. We finally let go of the hug and had the eye contacting again. Our
heads were close to each other,I felt him breathing. Slowly, his mouth came to mine and
in no second, our lips met. We kissed. His lips, moving into contact with mine, thick and
soft. They were cold but wonderful. I had never felt this way before. My knees were
even getting weak. We broke it off and looked at each other in the eyes.
Luvuyo: See u around
Me:"Uhm yea."
He walked away from me and entered his car then started it.
Luvuyo: Ohh and Lebz?
Me:"Yea? "
Luvuyo: Ndiyak'thanda yeva (I love u )
I blushed and he drove away. I think I was falling for him as well. He made me happy.
Glorious. But I still have to think about it...Moments later I met up with Nokthula and
the chauffeur picked us up and we went home. And I, on the other hand, was over the
moon. I couldn't stop thinking about Luvuyo. His smile, his character and how much we
had in common. His respect for me. Everything about him was perfect. The kiss?? oh
how I felt like kissing him again. It was all that was in my mind that day. Maybe I could
give him a chance. I mean, iv never felt this way before. Not even with Steve. Maybe
thus could be what I always wished for. Forgetting about my marriage thing,I could
make it work.... Yes....Truly I am in love......
.
.
.
.

INSERT 41......
Life is not a race, its a journey. Challenges are picked and deposited along the way. U
get down and time after u get up and carry on. U get hurt,but keep on moving, no matter
what changes. Like disco, no matter how much the songs change, jus keep on dancing....
Time had moved on since I settled in the city of Johannesburg with a rich family. My
life had now adapted. It still hurt me how I got here, but anyway. Life knows where to
turn. And it turned me around, a family who always do their own things,a sister I loved
dearly, having a husband who doesnt acknowledge my existance,not that I really care,
Friends that always stick with me and a very loving boyfriend....Yes. I accepted
Luvuyo's request to be his girlfriend. We on that slow motion pace but I enjoyed every
bit of it. We keep it low, secretive. Only our friends know about us and nobody else...
He was nice to me and was spoiling me rotten. Im talking about chocolates every now
and then,dates and sweet messages. I turned to love him dearly and didn't want anything
tearing us apart. Ofcos I haven't told him about my marriage with Sandile. I didn't see it
as important. I was jus too afraid to lose him..... Its been a year since iv been here but
things are still the same. Sandile since it was his last year was always not around, when
he was, he'd be with Roxy in his room. I kept my distance away from. We never even
utter anything to each other. Tshepo would be around at times giving me the same looks
but I'd ignore him. The girls and I made it matric and we worked hard,studied hard and
put effort to our work. Our guys understood, but they were always busy anyways so it
was chilled....
It was now the day of our last matric examination and we were going out with our guys
to celebrate. We waited at our usual waiting spot....
Tanya: I cant believe this is the last time we'd be wearing this hideous uniform
Nokthula: Yoh hey we finally made it
Me:"Ey I can't wait to see my results. I studied till I couldn't read anymore"
Angie: We all did
Nokthula: Angie u sure that u and Rome wouldn't like to join us?
Angie and Rome finally ended up dating....
Angie: I tried convincing him but he didn't want
Tanya: I don't get that guy. He always tells u what to do and u do so
Angie: Don't start.
Tanya: U not his wife. U his girlfriend. If u wanna go to the mall with ur pals u can. Not
when he says so
Angie: I jus don't like arguing with him
Us:Hmmhm.....
Angie: I have to go guys
Me:"U hardly with us"
Angie: Yea coz like u I have a boyfriend too and I never tell u guys if u hardly spend
time with me so don't get like that with me!!!
Nokthula: Woah
Me:"Geeze ok I get it yoh"
Angie: Bye....
She walked away from us...
Tanya: Something offish bout that cupcake
Olwethu: Tell me about it.
Minutes after a car came banging loud music and stopped besides us. Siya rolled down
the window and we got in..
Olwethu: Where are the others?
Siya: Abit busy
Me:"Really? Hello? we jus got through with high school and they busy?"
Siya: They'll be there
Olwethu: They better be...
We continued driving then stopped at the mall and got out of the car. Siya handed his
card out to Nokthula
Siya: Don't dry me out, otherwise I'll go to the Shezi residence and claim it
Nokthula: Love u too
Siya: Hai lemme leave before I regret this. Call me when yall are done.
They kissed and he drove off. We entered the mall and started shopping. We didn't
really wanna go home and change our uniforms, we decided to jus buy new clothes and
change right here. Tanya bought a short hugging purple dress,Olwethu got a blue crop
top and a white bum short, Nokthula got a short skirt with a pink crop top and got
myself a black crop top and a high waisted jean. Yes...I still wasn't a fan of short stuff.
We called Siya and he drove us to the usual crib we chill at that belonged to
Siya,Luvuyo and Kaybee. Rodney lived in a flat somewhere in Krugersdorp. We got
there and freshend up ourselves,added abit of make up here and there,fix our weaves and
dressed into our new clothes.
Nokthula: Leb Doll u godda get used to shorties
Me:"I hate those things"
Olwethu: Well darlz we going to a place where half naked girls will walk left right and
center so vuka (wake up)
Me:"I know I'll be the only one in his eyes"
Them: wooo.....
Nokthula: Yea he be giving it to her good
Tanya: Big time...
I looked down. This topic was touchy for me.
Nokthula: Wait....don't tell me that u....
I looked at them....
Tanya: You havent slept with him yet?
I nodded my head
Nokthula: Yoh girl u still a V?
I nodded... they looked at me really stunned. They looked like they were looking at a
ghost
Olwethu: Girl....u not alive. Like have u seen how handsome my brother looks? and u
ain't giving him cake?
Me:"We haven't come there"
Tanya: Yo its been months. Think of it
Me:"I don't think im ready"
Tanya: No one is..
Olwethu: Think about it.. okay?
I jus nodded and looked down again
They walked out of the guest room.
Nokthula: Lebo...
I looked at her
Nokthula: Look. I have noticed that....Like, I changed ur life. U have become us but u
still the same Lebo that came into our house about a year ago. I have contributed into
changing ur habits and its wrong of me.One thing I'd hate for myself to do is to change
u. The real Lebo. So....u don't have to sleep with him if u are not ready to. Don't do it
because that we do it. I still love u. Sister in law....
I smiled and we shared a hug. I swear Nokthula was the sweetest soul on earth.
Everything about me here has been because of her. I loved her will all my heart. Wd
broke the hug and I looked at her
Me:"U know u went wrong with the last part. I don't wanna hear that "in law'"
She laughed.
Nokthula: Lets go shall we?
Me:"Ofcos"
We went out of the room and headed to the car. We were gonna celebrate at our usual
club. Ofcos we were too young to be there buf hey, our bofies know their stories well.In
less than an hour we arrived at the club. Siya and Nokthula were making out so we went
in.
Tanya: Ohh I wanna get drunk tonight that I don't even wanna remember my name
tomorrow
Olwethu: Yea man today we let loose. 12 bloody years of being behind a school desk.
All ended today.
We went to the bar and they ordered hot drinks. I jus ordered ciders. I do wanna
remember my name tomorrow
Olwethu: Lets go and dance
Me:"U know me and dancing aren't friends"
Olwethu: Arg for once let loose wethu. Il end up drugging u.
Me:" If u want ur brother to be jailed for murder"
Olwethu:Hahaha hai ke. Ithi ndik'yeke mna (let me leave u)
She danced her way to the dance floor and I sat there drinking my drink jus thinking of
what the girls have said. Seconds after I felt arms wrap around me. The cologne made it
clear that it was my boo. I couldnt help but blush.
Luvuyo: My bae
Me:"Hey"
He chuckled
Luvuyo: U not romantic. U never call me with sweet names
Me: "Well u sweet enough for me"
Luvuyo: Is it?
Me: For real. Mr sweet
Luvuyo: Ohh wow let's jus let it go before I be given worse names than Mr Sweet.
I turned my position on the chair and faced him. He had a plaster put on his cheek
Me:"What happend there?"
Luvuyo: Nothing much. jus a small wound.
Me:"How did u get it? "
Luvuyo: Uh-uh.... lets not bother ourselves.
He kissed me. I felt abit shy coz of people. I didn't contribute in it and he stopped
Luvuyo: Arg C'mon babe. u still hate public kisses? We in a club,anyone can kiss
whoever.
Me:"But still, I don't feel comfortable"
Luvuyo: Alright fine ...Come with me.
He stood me up from the chair and we went to a passage that leads to the bathroom and
he passionately kissed me. He kissed me as if he had gone years without one. I could tell
he was lusting me , but I enjoyed it. His kisses always make me weak....
The passage door opened and I pulled out but he didn't seem to want to. I looked at the
door and Boom..... It was Sandile.... I looked at him and thats when Luvuyo turned to
look at him too. The atmosphere around was humid. It was heavy. I dont know why but
my heart beat fast when he looked at us. Luvuyo and Sandile dont get along all because
Roxy was Luvuyo's girl until she left him for Sandile. Now then their friendship got
away into thin air. Sandile clicked his tongue and walked away
Luvuyo: Cow..
Me:"Heyy..."
Luvuyo: Im jus saying. Lets go back to the partying
I leaded the way
Luvuyo: But u can imagine him with the mooo voice like ....
Me:" Hahaha uh uh stop it"
Luvuyo: Alright my lady.
We went back into the club where the girls were already getting drunk. I didn't intend on
getting drunk and plus, I don't wanna embarrass my boyfie. We chilled and had fun till
in the evening. We traveled back home. I got out of the car and Luvuyo hugged me.
Luvuyo: I'll miss u
Me: "I'll miss u too"
He kissed me.
Luvuyo: Right....Goodnight
Me:"I'll call u."
Luvuyo: Ofcos...U have to.
Me:"Yea right ...Let me go"
Luvuyo: Love u
Me:"Me too"
I never say I Love U in full. Jus how I was. I couldn't get used to doing so.
Nokthula and I entered the house and as usual, no sign of Mr Shezi nor his wife or maid.
We went in and I got to the kitchen to prepare a little something to eat
Nokthula: Ohh im wasted.
Me:"Go to sleep then"
Nokthula: I will.
I continued...
Nokthula: U know. I saw Sandile at the club and he didn't looked happy.
Me:"Trouble In paradise maybe?"
Nokthula: Could be. I mean, his root rat is the biggest bitch of town
Me:"Lets not go there"
Nokthula: Yea. Im going to bed. U'll have a goodnight sweety
Me: "U too...."
She walked upstairs .... I continued making something to eat for myself and heard
footsteps.
Sandile: Wow
I turned and looked at him. He was shirtless. I know whenever his shirtless,his tramp
was here...
Me: "U saying something?"
Sandile: U never seize to amaze me pumpkin
Me:"Ohh. Too bad it ain't my intentions"
Sandile: I wonder what u want. Its been over a year and this family is totally blinded by
u. Ur methods are working sister
Me:"Let me jus leave before I do something I'll regret"
I attempted to walk away but he blocked my path
Sandile: U such a bitch. U fucking around with my nemesis now? Wassup with u? Ohh
or maybe yall two are always planning on how get back at me
Me:"Mxm Hey I can date whoever I want. U have no right in it. Absolutely no right!!!"
Sandile: Well to think of it, I actually do. Don't forget that u my wife!!!
Me:"Well I didn't ask to be ur fucking wife!!!!!"
Sandile: Well u are.
Me:"U pathetic---"
"WHAT!!!!"
We looked over to the stairs and saw Roxy there dressed in his shirt,shocked as if she
had swallowed a lemon
Sandile: Baby...baby I can explain...
She looked at me and Sandile.... This was a very awkward situation. Shit was about to
be real.........
.
.
.
.

INSERT 42.....
Roxy: I did not hear right....
We looked at her...
Roxy: Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on!!!
Sandile: Its not what u think
Roxy: I know what I heard. Wife??
Me:"Well traditionally"
Roxy: Wow...Clap once...
She walked upstairs...
Sandile: Baby....baby I can explain. Arg look what u've caused.
Me:"Ehhe im not the one whos dating her"
Sandile: Urrr....
He marched upstairs... Honestly I had no feeling over the fact that she jus found out
about 'our marriage'. Sickening enough,She's still fucking around with that Tshepo guy
under his nose. He'd usually leave them here to get something and they'd share a quick
kiss before he comes back. Ofcos I've felt the need to let him know, but his arrogancy
annoyed me to the last bit. I felt like he deserves this. Maybe it will help him open his
eyes. I never cared much about him anyway. I took my food and as I arrived towards the
stairs, Roxy appeared fully dressed ,out of nowhere,I got a hot slap on my face. It was
hard and my plate fell and broke on the floor. I looked up and saw Roxy giving a furious
look like an angry bull
Roxy: Nxa. Bitch....
She walked away. I was way too shocked to fight back. I didn't expect it. Truly,it was
surprising. I held my cheek and Sandile walked in looking at me. I didn't care. His tramp
jus slapped me.
He cleared his throat....
Sandile: U...u okay?
Me:"Nxa. Tell ur tramp to never set her finger on me ever again or else she'll regret
knowing me"
Withought giving him a chance to respond I speed off out of the room. Who did she
think she is? Slapping me for what? Its not like I took her man. She still has him. She
can have him forever if she wanted. What I hated was that she was acting all like she
didn't have any skeletons hidden. Once I reveal her relationship with Tshepo, its over
with her...Mxm Hood rats... I took a dust pan and went to where my plate fell and
Sandile was still standing there staring at his cellphone. I ignored him and picked up the
pieces on the floor... Sandile knelt down and picked up other pieces
Me:"Arg don't bother urself"
He didn't listen. He jus continued. This guy...
Me:"Didn't u hear me!!!Leave I'll do it"
Sandile: U way too angry,u'll cut urself
Me:"Ok thanks yea whatever"
He looked at me then stopped and stood up to stare at me. I continued picking up the
pieces. I held one piece with power and it cut me
Me:"Ouch"
Sandile didn't say much. He jus knelt and took the dust pan,surprising enough,he also
picked up the lasagna that fell and went to the kitchen to throw the away then came
back.
Me:"U didn't have to do that"
He looked at me then walked towards the lounge. As he was about to enter,he stopped...
Sandile: Ohh and lets get one thing clear... Never call my girl a tramp. Nxa....
He continued. This guy never seized to surprise me. That was real awkward. He first
helps me then threatens me. I let him be and jus walked upstairs. I nursed my finger and
prepared myself for bed. Jus as I entered the sheet I got a call from Luvuyo....
Call Convo...
Me: Hey u
"My person. How u? "
Me: Im okay. I was about to sleep jus now. ...
"Yea u certainly need a rest"
Me: And chocolate
"Eyi wena ne zinto zakho (u and ur things)"
Me: well someone got me used to it
"Anyway. I jus settled in my flat today"
Me:Really?
"Yea. I told u that I was serious about moving out of that house"
Me: Well thats great. Im happy for u.
"Thanks sweety. Theres one thing u could do for me"
Me:Hmmm which is?
"Chill with me in my apartment."
Me:Sure no stress
"Great. I'll pick u up tomorrow afternoon. Please come with a night bag"
Me: Ohh uhhm *clears throat* im gonna be sleeping over?
"Ofcos sweety. U jus got through with matric. Im sure they'l excuse u for a day or two."
Me'Okay...
"Great. See u then. Ohh and I love u."
Me: Me too babe.
"Im sending candy pillows to u"
Me: Candy pillows?
"Yea,so u could have sweet dreams"
I couldn't help but blush. My boyfie always had a way of making me feel special. We
switched the call and I faded to dreamland in no time.....
.
.
.
The next morning I woke up and didn't do much. I jus woke up and and ate breakfast
with Nokthula. I was telling her about me sleeping over at his apartment....
Nokthula: So u finally gonna do it?
Me:"Uhh....I don't know...."
Nokthula: Jus know that if u do it, theres no turning back. But on the other hand, the guy
loves u.
Me:"I know hey.What if im not ready? "
Nokthula: He'll understand.
Me:"U think? "
Nokthula: Absolutely...Go for it.
Me: "Maybe u right"
Nokthula: Pss im always right...
Me:"Uhh right....."
We continued talking and she agreed that she'l cover for me in case im wanted. later I
took a shower,got dressed,stocked everything and got done. Luvuyo texted me that his
outside and I went out. I asked the guard to open the gate and I went out finding my boo
leaning against the car waiting for me. I hugged him the moment I got there.
Luvuyo: Sweety
Me:"Hey babe."
Luvuyo: U look beautiful
I blushed
Me:"C'mon babe"
Luvuyo: What? For real
Me:"U not bad urself."
Luvuyo: Best lie u've ever told.
I laughed.
Luvuyo:Hai come here...
He pulled me towards his body and we kissed. A car stopped at us as we were kissing.
We stopped to looked at it and the driver went out. Great....it was Sandile. He walked
over to us and we watched him as he did so....
Luvuyo: Well isn't it the golden boy
Sandile: Vuyo
Luvuyo: May we help u?
Sandile: Nothing much. Jus that yall are doing shit directly at our house
Luvuyo: Ohh sorry. We'll be leaving soon
Sandile: We?
He said that looking at me.
Luvuyo: Yea thats right. We...
He gave him a very serious look. Honestly,Sandile looked cute when hes amgry ...
Sandile: Why does she have to go with u?
Luvuyo: Mayb coz shes my girlfriend
Sandile: Ohh yea?
Luvuyo: Yea...
He looked at me again
Sandile: And the bag?
Luvuyo: Its her stuff
Sandile: Who said I was talking to u princess
Luvuyo: Who u calling a princess?
Luvuyo went closer to him as if he was about to hit him. Sandile also went closer to him
Sandile: Wacthu trynna do huh? punk
Luvuyo: Imma kick ur bloody pink ass to the floor right now....
I couldn't stand what was going on. I had to stop them. I fiddled myself in between them
Me:"Hey hey hey stop that!! Yall are acting like 3 year olds!!"
They gave each other intimidating looks.
Me:" Babe jus let him"
Luvuyo looked at me and distanced himself from him.
Sandile: Rethabile. Go into the house
Me:"What? why? and for the 100th time im Relebogile not Rethabile"
Sandile: I said fucking take ur sack and return into the house this moment
Luvuyo: Says who? who are u to order her that? Isn't she allowed to see her boyfriend?
Sandile then pulled me and moved me away from Luvuyo. I swear this guy was crazy.
Luvuyo pulled me by the other arm
Luvuyo: What the fuck is this? Huh? Its not like shes ur girlfriend or wife...
Ohh no...He didn't jus say that...
Sandile let go of my hand and looked at Luvuyo. He laughed a little. My heart was
beating fast...
Sandile: Ohh don't make me laugh Achie oh please....
God no. Sandile better not do this.
Luvuyo: Back away from her...
Sandile: Her...? Oh u right she ain't my girlfriend,but let me tell u exactly what she is to
me.......
Ohh no.......
.
.
.

INSERT 43......
My heart was racing at a high rate. It felt like falling off my chest. Air was jus too small
for me.
Luvuyo: Watchu talking about?
Sandile: I mean she----
His phone clicked and he checked it.
Sandile: Nxa.. I have to bounce... U cat better be off when I return.
Hooo....Heaven was with me
Luvuyo: Yea whatever
He headed back into his car and speed off on the road.
Luvuyo: Pig...
Me:"Uhm yea"
Luvuyo: Anyway lets go babe.
Me:"Uhm sure"
I slowly entered the car. That was a very good save. But it was a wake up call. I needed
to tell Luvuyo about my marriage to Sandile before he hears it somewhere else. But
how? How do I tell my boyfriend that im married? To his his enemy the worst thing?The
guy who took away the girl he loved? I'd definitely lose him. He entered the car and he
drove off with me being silent. He was trying to make talks here and there but I wanted
to be quiet.
Luvuyo: What did that jerk mean?
Me:"what?"
Luvuyo: Him saying something about u being something to him
Me:"That guy is not normal u know. He jus wanted to get under ur skin"
Luvuyo: U probably right...
He continued driving until we got to a certain estate area. It wadd beautiful and looked
fancy. I really wondered how Luvuyo afforded all this. I mean, he told me that he
delivers pills and potions to a certain branch of chemist he works at. He says the chemist
is successful and he's an assistant consultant. He studied chemistry so its reasonable. We
got to the gate that was guarded by guards and Luvu opened the gate using a remote and
drove in. The area had alot of identical apartment but they were all beautiful. This place
looked like a worth fortune rent place. We stepped out of the car and I looked around
while Luvu took my bag from the car....
Luvuyo: Nice right?
Me:"yeah"
Luvuyo: Lets go in.
I followed him to the building and we entered an elevator that lifted us up to the top
floor. The elevator opened and we walked out. We got to a certain door and he unlocked
it then we entered. The apartment was nice and simple. Jus fixes of grey here and there.
It looked beautiful. He even had a fish tank. I was fixed on the place
Luvuyo: Nice right?
Me:"Yea"
Luvuyo: Lemme go and put ur bag ..
He went up some mini stairs and I looked at the fishes in the tank. He came back
seconds later...
Luvuyo: Right....u hungry?
Me:"Uhh not really"
Luvuyo: I can order pizza
Me:"Great idea"
Luvuyo: u and junk food thou?
Me:"Hahaha u can't separate me from junk"
Luvuyo: Hai anyways. What can we do now?
Me:"Hmm I don't know...watch a movie perhaps?"
Luvuyo: And I know jus the one
Me:"Ohh and I dont pick?
Luvuyo: U'll love it. I know.
Me:"Right..."
He looked at me
Luvuyo: U beautiful u know?
I blushed and looked at the floor. He came closer to me and I faced him. Our eyes
locked on each other. The atmosphere was quiet and clear. He was so focused on me. I
loved it when he always did that. He then kissed me and we kissed. His kissing was
intense. Like he had been waiting for years to get it. Like he yearned for it. It was even
rough,but nice. He started touching me in certain places including my ass. He squeezed
it. I didn't like it but I didn't complain. I couldn't. We continued kissing while he was
pushing me to the couch. His hands were oppressing me trying to undress my shirt. He
was touching me roughly but romanticly. Yah now this guy had. been seriously lusting
me. But...no. Is this the moment? As in thee moment? Ofcos I loved Luvu and I trusted
him with myself and I know he wouldn't ever let me go but I wasn't feeling this. I dont
think im ready to lose virginity yet.... I think my thoughts had affected the loving session
and he stopped. I knew that it was because I wasnt focused...
Luvuyo: Ohh uhm im sorry if u feel uncomfortable. We can stop ....
He got up and went into the kitchen. Gosh I disappointed him. Whats wrong with me?
Do I want to lose this guy? I have to pull myself together. Its jus Sex....Who was I
kidding? im scared of it. Iv heard stories about having sex for the first time and the pain.
Iam scared and for real. I stayed the on the couch saturated in thoughts then Luvu
walked in with snacks and drinks
Luvuyo; We might need this for the movie
Me: :) "Yea great."
He settled everything and connected the tv and played the movie then we started our
movie. Ofcos, its weird that I reject him sex and he jus comes back like nothing happend
at all. This guy was full of wonders. I wondered what his story was. I know how guys
are when sex is denied. I loved the fact that he didn't take advantage of me. I jus have to
keep this guy.....The movie was a romantic one and I was sitting with my legs ontop of
his laps. It had comedy scenes here and there and we'd laugh. It came to a part of two
people telling each other how much they ment to each other. It was sweet. The thoughts
then infiltrated my mind again. I might never find a guy like this ever again in my life.
His a keeper. I might as well do it. Yes ...I was to sleep with him. I know its crazy and
im not ready,But remembering what Olwethu said to me saying that no one is ever
ready, its worth a shot. Its now or never. The thoughts were now driving me to him and I
stared at him dearly. After a while he noticed....
Luvuyo: U wanna say something love?
Me; " Uhm Uhh No"
Luvuyo: Alright....
He focused back on the movie and I stared at him again. Maybe this wasn't a bad idea.
The more I think of it, the more I believe theres nothing to lose. My attractions towards
him grew in me and I found myself moving to him and I kissed him. I sat on him with
my legs parted side ways on him and we kissed. I tried taking off his shirt and thats
when he pulled out.
Luvuyo: Leb..Are u sure? Imean, its okay if u not ready
Me:"I wanna do this. Im ready"
He looked at me and gave me a side smile then kissed me. He made me get off him and
he stood up.
Luvuyo: Lets take this upstairs
I faked a smile. Im not sure about this but hey....I have to do it. For his sake...He held
my hand and we walked upstairs. We went into a room which I figured was his and he
immediately kissed me intensely. I bet tonight is going down... I was finally gonna break
my virginity to my boyfriend......
.
.
.
.

INSERT 44......
The kissing continued and with every attempt, the more I was more I was preparing
myself for the deed. He slowly and gently pushed me to the bed and got ontop of me. He
was oppressing his hands on my body while we were kissing and lifted my shirt. His
touch was gentle and was giving me a feeling I didn't understand. My shirt was forced
out and he went down to my jean. He unbuttoned it and tried to force it off me. It was
real tight,but he succeeded. I was now in my bra and bikini...I was starting to feel him. I
felt my hormones act up. He continued kissing me and I decided to take off his shirt too
and he helped. Ohh his mini 6 pack though? Hot! I ran my hands down his packs and
tried unbuttoning his pants. I was ready to give it in. He moved from my lips and went
lower to my neck and kissed me there and doing what I figured was doing a love bite,it
was abit painful. His lips went lower and came over to my breasts and held them with
his hands gently. He kissed the middle of them. I unbuttoned his pants and he removed
them. He was now in his boxers only. He looked at me then slowly came ontop of me.
Honestly I wasn't sure about this. I didn't even know if im doing the right thing. Yes he
had been waiting for this moment for over a long time and truly I love him with all my
heart, but this moment was nerve wrecking.... "Okay baby girl. Jus go with the flow. " I
whispered to myself. Luvu kissed me and I relaxed myself then ran my hands to his back
and touched him in the most romantic way I could. I wanted to be in the zone....
Suddenly,Luvu trembled abit enough that I felt him do so,like he vibrated abit. But I
guess its usual. Im not used to all this. I don't know how it goes. Luvu then jus confused
me. He lost focus in the kissing and wasn't doing it right anymore. I knew that
something was off. I stopped kissing him and I looked at him while he looked aside...
Me:"Baby..."
He jus kept quiet. The light was off but the light rays of the lights outside shone little
beams in the room so I could see his face. He looked comfused. I didn't know what was
going on.
Me:"Babe....Luvu whats wrong??"
He took a deep breath then got off me and laid on the other side... He was now confusing
me.
Luvu: I.....I don't know...I jus....I don't know.
Me:"Lu....Whats going on??"
His eyes looked at me then he switched on the side lamp. I looked at him expecting an
explanation...
Luvu: Look...I...
Me:"U what? "
He looked aside. He looked like he was ashamed of something. He looked confused. I
don't know Luvu like this.
Me:"Luvuyo.."
Luvu: Lebo...This....this is embarrassing...
Me:"What? "
Luvu: Look...
He lead his head to his boxer and I ran my eyes over to his manhood(:v if I may call it
that). I didn't get what was going on.
Luvu: Lebo...Usually when I get intimate with a person, my dick acts up and the boner
comes along. But now....I don't know. My dick jus wont make a boner. Arg I feel
useless....
He put his hands on his face....
I could see that he looked ashamed of this. It hurt me seeing him that way.
Me:"Is...isn't there anything we can do to...."
Luvu: I dont know. This has never happend before. Never in my life...
I didn't know what to do. I jus looked at him
Luvu: Look babe im sorry I know we both wanted this and we've been waiting for a
pretty long time.
Me:"No babe its okay. Its cool."
Luvu: I jus don't know whats wrong with me. Gosh!!
He covered his face again.
I somehow felt his emotions. This was really embarrassing. I could already imagine
what his going through. I laid my head on his chest and cuddled him. I felt his heart beat
and shortly his arm held me. I looked up and faced him and he looked at me too.
Me:"Ndiyak'thanda" (I love u)
He smiled....
Luvu: Look who's now speaking Xhosa
I laughed
Me:"I try"
Luvu: Hehe good attempt. Nam Ndyak'thanda wethu...(I love u too)
I smiled. Truly I loved him. Hes jus too perfect. His flaws, his respect, the way he treats
me, how he talks to me. I feel blessed to have him. I wish he was my chosen one. I wish
he was the one who was appointed to be mine and not Sandile. His all that I need. The
thoughts led me into sleep and I snoozed off on his chest wearing a bra and bikini....
.
.
.
.
In the morning I was awoken by an aroma. I open my eyes and Luvu wasn't next to me. I
looked around and I found his shirt on the side. I took it and dressed myself with it then
went downstairs. I found him busy in the kitchen ....
Me:"Hmmm somethings cooking here"
He turned around and looked at me.
Luvu: Ohh morning babe
Me:"Morning baby"
Luvu: Im guessing the smell woke u up
Me:"Haha Indeed"
Luvu: Well breakfast will be served in a few.
Me: "Prepared by u? This I must taste."
Luvu: Trust me. It tastes great...
Me: "Lemme go and brush my teeth okay..."
Luvu: Cool. Im waiting. Only giving u a second
Me:"What? Really now?"
Luvu: Ur one second passed.
Me:" U silly u know"
Luvu: Yea well. For u only...
He came closer to me and wrapped his arms around my waists...
Luvu: U beautiful u know
I blushed...
Luvu: I dont ever wanna lose u. Ever. U are tattooed to me. I love u so much and I don't
want anything to ever separate u from me. I love u....
He said that with so much emotion and feeling u could tell that whatever hes saying,he
meant it. He was really serious. This guy loves me deeply and I love him too.
Luvu: I wanna put a ring on it,marry u,give u everything that I have,build u a house.
Give u children. I could jus imagine us growing old together....
I smiled faintly. The marry thing was another thing. Luvu is a Xhosa and I know surely
that a traditional wedding is a must. It would be a big problem if he marries a married
woman. Another thing here was that he was dead serious. If he found out about my
marriage,I don't know how he'd act. One thing I know about my boyfriend,his calm. I
probably think hes the type to indulge his pain within. I know I have to tell him, but not
now. I jus need more time. We've been dating for 7 months now I know u probably think
that by now he should know about Sandile, I tried. Matric always had both my hands. I
hardly had time with him and he respected that coz he knows education comes first. He
was always busy himself. We'd only talk over the phone on weekends and we'd see each
other after two months or so. We had enough space enough for me to be focused in
school. Because of that space,I didn't make up enough the right time to tell him....
Anyway I looked him in the eyes and he kissed me. The kiss was romantic with him
running his hands inside the T-shirt I was wearing. Suddenly,his phone rang but he
didn't stop kissing me. Whoever was calling,didn't seem to quit. I jus kept on ringing...
Me:"Answer it "
Luvu: Eish...I wonder who it is...
He took it and answered.
Luvu: Talk to me...
caller:....................
Luvu: What?
caller'...................
Luvu: Uhm I had plans. But its cool. Il take care of it.... Ayt....Bye...
He hung up the phone...
Luvu: Babe im sorry but itd hectic at work. Im needed in Nelspruit and I'll be there for a
few days...
Me:"What?"
Luvu: Yea. I need to leave...
Me:"Ohh okay"
Luvu: Im sorry babe. I know this was suppose to be our moment but---
Me:"Its okay...Its good..."
I went upstairs and we prepared ourselves. I jus dressed into my previous day's clothes
and he took a shower. I didn't want to make things awkward,I'll take a shower back
home...He got done and I gathered my things then we left the flat,entered the car and
drove off. The car was silent. The only thing that was playing was the radio. We arrived
at the Shezi compound and he dropped me off....
Luvu: I'll call u okay
I nodded.
Luvu: Right....Love u...
Me:"Me too"
We kissed and he drove off. I walked to the house and opened the gate then entered the
house. I found Sandile watching Tv alone eating some lays and had a can of beer besides
him. He was watching soccer. I looked at him and jus walked my path.
Sandile: Wow am I a ghost?
I stopped and turned to look at him
Me:"Hi"
Sandile: Yea whatever...
Me:" Mxm"
I continued walking
Sandile: So u left with him when I told u not to .
I stopped and looked at him
Me:"Excuse me? "
Sandile: I said, u left with that punk after I told u not to...
Me:"Who are u to tell me what to do? "
He chuckled...
Sandile: U so fucking convinced that his a perfect guy huh? Nah country pumkin the
guy ain't good for u
Me:" Hehe oh really?.... And u are?"
He looked at me taking a sip from his beer
Sandile: Do u even know that guy? Do u even know what he does? Where he gets his
money?
Me:"Well yea....His a chemist consultant. ."
Sandile laughed so hard at me and it was really annoying me.
Sandile: Even after a year of living here,u still a dumb country pumpkin....
He stood up and came up to me....
Sandile: Ur 'Precious' boyfriend isnt a 'Chemist' Whatever.... His a drug dealer.
I looked at him with my eyes wide open...
Sandile: Ohh u didn't know? Well pumpkin, Your boyfriend works for someone who
makes drugs and they contribute them in different places around the country. They steal
products from certain factories and clinics to make up those drugs then deliver them in
places. Hes connected with dangerous people and his dangerous too....
I was finding it hard to believe all this. No....it can't be. This was all jus crazy...
Me:"U lying!!!!"
Sandile:Am I? Well u should ask him. Think about all the cash he has. Where does he
get it from??
Me:"No...u lying!!"
Sandile: Why would I lie?
Me: "If I didn't know better,I'd say u jealous"
He laughed at me....
Sandile: Jealous??? Hahaha ohh girl he has u bad....
Me:" Why u telling me this then? "
Sandile: Coz I don't like seeing u fuck around with my enemy.
Me:"Ohh or u care? "
Sandile: Hahahahahaha Care? Fuck chick!? U killing me yoh hai
He continued laughing and went back to the couch. Nxa Sandile is a goat. Its probably a
stunt to lead me astray from one person who really loves me. He doesn't wanna see me
happy. His lying. Its All Lies. There is no way that my boyfriend could be a drug
dealer...
.
.
.
.

INSERT 45.....
Luvu was all my mind was spinning on. The drug dealer thing was taking a huge bite on
my brain. He cant be a drug dealer. It jus wont make sense. I mean,ofcos I had been
suspicious before. Like I asked him to prescribe something for my back pains and he
was clueless. Also times when I'd ask where his white coat is or his name tag,he always
said "I left them at work" ....I tried to convince him to take me to his work place and he
always cut the topic short. Okay....maybe his not a chemist but he must be something
else. He. cant be a drug dealer. Hes not dangerous enough to me. Well enough about
Sandile playing around with me. What had a huge part of me was the boner issue. Luvu
was right. At times when we kissed it would act up and he'd try his all to hide it but I
always felt it on my tummy. How was it possible that it would jus shut down? What was
I suppose to do? What if I wasn't touching him right? What if my body didnt excite him
and so the boner couldnt act up? This was jus so odd. Maybe its me.....
A call on my phone disturbed my thoughts. I checked the ID and it was mom. Jus the
comfort I needed ....
Call Convo**
Me: Mama
" Hey ngwanaka. Hows mommy's little girl?"
Me: I would've said im fine but the little girl part?
"Hahaha....u'l always be my nunus"
Me: If u say so...
"I missed u hey. We haven't talked for a long time. How was the studying going along?"
Me: Well I read frequently and did my all in the exams. Hopefully my marks should be
bright enough to get me to medical school
"U still want to be a dentist?"
Me: Yea ma. I know its one thing u've always been hoping for.
"Auww ngwanaka. I remember how much u hated dentists but now...."
Me: Hahaha I actually hated them for the braces I had
"Hahaha ya I remember hey. But Im proud of u dear. Real proud..."
Me: I know mommy :) ....Hows Ditebogo?.....
Ditebogo is my moms child. She delivered him 5 months ago. Well they were hoping for
a girl jus so they could name her Lebogang to show gratitude to me sacrificing for them
but hey , they got a bouncing baby boy and I named him Ditebogo.....
"Ohhh thats a huge issue"
Me: Why whats wrong?
"Ditebogo last night really had us on our feet. Around 9 in the evening he jus started
crying without a reason. We tried bathing him,feeding him,rocking him to bed,giving
him panado but nex. His usually isn't like that"
Me: Ohh ma. Thats bad
"Yea I know"
Me: Consult Madipila
"Is it really necessary?"
Me: Maybe the ancestors wanted to raise a message to u.
"Look whos now smart. Thank u my girl"
I heard noises of people arguing downstairs
Me: Mama. Let me go...Greet everyone for me...
"Okay ngwanaka. I love u "
"Me too"
I switched the call and I went out to see what was happening. When I got downstairs I
saw Nokthula with Sandile on the phone and two guys standing at the door. They were
wearing uniform.
Me:"Hey"
Nokthula looked back at me and came to hug me
Me:" Thula whats going on? "
Nokthula: I dont know,like these guys wanna come in and take things in this house.
One guy: Uhh mam we have been assigned to take applications and we need to leave
soon..
Sandile: No one bloody fucken is leaving here with our stuff!!!!!!
Second guy: Listen sir we know that this is---
Sandile: Do u mind? Im On A Call? huh?
I swear Sandile was young. Very young indeed and people gave him respect for his
arrogance. Strange but hey its beautiful...
He dropped the call
Sandile: Nxa!!!!!!
Nokthula: So....?
Sandile: Apparently dad and his floozy are getting a divorce
Nokthula: Yea so?
Sandile: So? So ini manje? Ur precious dad is found guilty of cheating. Hehe don't know
why im surprised .... So the floozy can have all the money she wants from him
Me: Woah. So she found out about his affair with the maid?"
I said that thinking to myself and when I ran them up both Nokthula and Sandile were
staring at me. Oh no. Did I jus think out loud?
Nokthula: What did u say?
Me: "I...."
Sandile: C'mon talk!!!
Me:"I di....I .."
Nokthula: Lebo u knew that my father was cheating?
Sandile: Khuluma maan!!!(Talk)
Me:" Yes...yes I did"
Nokthula: Wait.... U Relebogile? u knew MY father was cheating? and u never told
me!?
Me:"I thought it wasn't my position Im sorry"
Sandile: Come to think of it ...?
U planned this. U,the floozy and the maid. U part of their plan right?
Me:"Plan? noo..."
Sandile: Thula Vinolia and Ur dads wife are related. I found out last week. So this affair
was a planned one
Nokthula: Ohh my God....
Sandile: So im asking u the person who kept quiet about this....are u part of their plan?
Me:"I...no...I could never be"
Nokthula:How come u knew about them and didn't even say a thing?
I kept quiet
Nokthula: Pathetic little whore I TOOK U AS MY SISTER!!!!And u betray us like this?
Me:"Nokthula please listen. U have all this wrong"...
I tried to hold her
Nokthula: Don't fucking hold me u cheat!!!!! All this time acting like some angel kanti
uyi Gold digger??U disgust me Lebo. Really u do.... nxa....
She walked upstairs. What she said broke my heart apart. We've been sisters ever since I
came here and today she can't stand me. They misunderstanding me. I never had any
interact with neither Vinolia or Mrs Shezi. They having it wrong. I felt presence of
someone close to me and I looked up,Sandile was directly close to me. I looked at him....
Me:"Sandile....Sandile believe me. I----"
Sandile: Shhh....
He put a finger across my lips...
He looked at me deep in the eyes..
Sandile: Listen to me....I want u ....To go upstairs.....To go into ur room.....And ....u
....pack all ur things and u leave this house....
Me: :O ....
Sandile: Now...
Me:"But Sandile believe me its..."
Sandile: Let me not repeat myself.
I kept quiet.
Sandile: I knew u were trouble when u walked in... Go...
With a heavy body I slowly walked upstairs.
Sandile: Ohh and the leather thingy on ur hand...the one u got when u Uhuh Forced ur
way in, it must be off....
I looked at the leather thread I got when I was declared married to this family. I had
never taken it off. Not that I found the reason behind it worthful but because I felt a
special bond with it. I felt strength when I wear it. Like it defines me. It sets me whole. I
stared at it and remembered all that I went through before I came here. The escaping,the
sex tape attempt,the mugging,the beating,most importantly the initiation. I have a huge
scar on my chest back because of sacrificing. I did alot for them. Without my
cooperation none of their parents would have lived to see the day. They owe it out to
me. And today they kicking me out? I don't think so... One thing I learned in the
initiation was to never accept defeat. I felt pride enter me as I thought about it. I felt a
spirit of unknown take over me. I felt in charge....
Sandile: Ey awuvaye (go away)
Me: "No"...
Sandile: Askies
Me: "I will leave this place same way I came in"
There was a firm tone in my voice
Sandile: Theres the door. Its even opened
Me:"And the healer,parents, family. Where are they? "
Sandile: Yaz u wasting time. U wouldve been already done with packing..
Me:"im not going anywhere without the family concerned"
Sandile: Then I'll have to force u out...
Me:"Take a shot"
He did a side smile
Sandile: With pleasure.
He reached out for this back and out of the blue he took out a gun and pointed it to me.
What?? Is this guy crazy?
Sandile: So.. are u dancing or what?
I jus froze. I don't know what to do. Sandile is insane he could really blow me up.
Things are shaky here....
.
.
.
.

INSERT 46.....
Me:"Do it"
Sandile: U sure? I can blow ur brain out this very moment.
Me:" I've had enough already. Do it."
Sandile: I know whatchu trynna make me do ....
He clicked the gun...
Sandile: Any last words...?
Me:"Ur mother...."
I saw that what I said got to him. He was now powerless and speechless. He took a look
at me and gave in the gun. He put it back on his back...
Nokthula: Shes not worth it mtase.
Sandile:Nxa...!
Nokthula: Relebogile im kindly asking u to pack and go.
I looked at her.
Nokthula: Im serious....
I looked at both of them and slowly walked upstairs. I guess its the right thing. Truth is
,this family never accepted me. Even Nokthula has a back on me. What worried me was
that it was now dark outside. Where was I gonna go at this hour? Its around 6 now and
the streets of Jozi aren't friendly. I jus packed my clothes in a traveling bag and sat on
the bed. I looked at the room. The first time I came here, the times I spent with Nokthula
in this very room. Somehow it had a place in me. I didn't enjoy this life but somehow I
was a part of it. Tears rolled down my cheeks. My life is always a mess. Starting by my
father mistreating me all my life coz of the shame I brought to his life. The pain I
brought my mother by my calling or whatever I may call it. Jus nothing ever
corresponds in my life. My phone rang and telling by the ID it was Luvu. I wanted to
answer but I was down. I didn't want him to hear me like this. I didn't want him to worry
so I jus left it there without responding and continued packing. Luvu didn't seem like he
was about to give up easily he called numerous times. I might as well answer.
Me: H..hello
"Geez girl I'v been calling u. Why weren't u answering? "
Me: Sorry I...was busy with something.
"Something like what? "
Me: Nothing much
"I asked u..."
I couldn't tell him I've been kicked out of the Shezi house. He'd probably come here to
try to beat Sandile up or something and Sandile has a gun. Things might go wrong....
Me: I was....asleep
"Ohh okay. I hope u dreamed of me"
I don't know why but I feel as if Luvu is becoming more interested in me. Like he
always wants to know what Im up to. Its awkward but hey...He loves me so much...
Me: Where are u?
"Im around Nelspruit"
Me: Hows work?
"Errr its..cool. I jus had a little something to do"
Me: U know I wanted to come with u....
Now is my perfect chance to see if what Sandile said was genuine...
"No need. U'd be bored"
Me: ohh. Maybe u could....show me ur work place when u come back...
"Really? "
Me: Yea I mean I wanna know where my man works...
"Uhuh.... Why the sudden interest?"
Me: Nah...I ...was jus wondering nje since u left me
"Eish babe let me bounce okay? We'll talk."
Me: Ohh okay
He immediately hung up. Strange. Luvu never hangs up before I do. Anyway, back to
reality. I have no plan of accomodation. But then I remembered that Mr Shezi transfered
R5000 in my account for me to pay for a certain trip that I didn't attend... Im sure I'll
find a cheap hotel somewhere. I gathered my bags and said a prayer before I exited my
room. I walked out and rolled my bags down the stairs. Sandile and Nokthula were on
the kitchen table talking and as soon as I entered, they went silent. They jus looked at
me with intimidating eyes. I couldnt think of any words to say so I jus turned my way
and walked towards the door. I got to the door and took a deep breath. Tears threatened
to escape my eyes but I kept them in. As I was about to hold the handle the door
opened... I took a step back and a coloured woman dressed in navy blue formal suit and
black wedges with a white blouse. I landed my eyes on her face and she was light.
Coloured if I may say. She was really beautiful and looked expensive.
Her: Ohh...im sorry...
Her voice sounded familiar..
Nokthula: M...mama
Nokthula's mom: Im home...
Nokthula moved from her chair and ran up to her and hugged her so dearly
Nokthula's mom: O...gg...okay hey..I can't breath.
She let go
Nokthula: im sorry Im sorry..Im jus, so happy to see u. And u are better
Nokthula's mom: The chemotherapy helped I guess.
She looked over to Sandile.
Nokthula's mom: Don't jus stand there...
He stood up and slowly walked to her and he kissed her on the cheek. The view was so
cute. They seemed to be at peace with the mother around. She looked at me and broke
their group hug...
Nokthula's mom: Ohh. Relebogile right?
I nodded. She took a look at the bags I was holding.
Nokthula's mom: Going somewhere?
Me:"Well...yea"
Nokthula's mom: Ohh please don't leave. I have never spent quality time with u. Please
stay...
Me:"I...."
I looked at Sandile who looked aside to hide his face
Nokthula's mom: Please...
I had no choice. I didn't have a plan anyway....
Me:" uhm okay"
Nokthula's mom: Yay...
I went up to put my bags in my room then went back downstairs.
Nokthula's mother asked if I could help them with dinner and I did. Surprisingly Sandile
was also helping. They were smiling and laughing and were jolly. Iv never seen them so
happy. I finally knew Sandile's weakness. His mother. The way he laughs and smiles
and even pulls jokes around her. This woman was a summer in winter. She was warmth
to the house. I even felt at ease with her being around, though I was quiet but I enjoyed
her company.... We finally got done with dinner and settled down on the table.
Nokthula's mom: Lets say grace...
She held Nokthula's hand and Nokthula held my hand. Sandile was sitting on my left
and I didn't know whether I should hold him or not. He looked at me then looked aside. I
held my hand back and looked down. Nokthula's mom cleared her throat then signaled
Sandile to hold my hand. Pissfull Sandile slowly brought out his hand to mine and we
held hands. Nokthula's mom closed her eyes and prayed then we dug in. The food was
nice and tasty...
Nokthula's mom: So...Sandile...How are u and Relebogile getting along?
He gave me a look...
Sandile: Ok
Nokthula's mom: Jus okay?
He nodded
Nokthula's mom: So...no relationship or getting along as husband and wife?
I choked on my food
Sandile: Hai mama
Nokthula's mom: What? yall are married.
I looked at my food
Nokthulas mom: Shes good for u my boy... Hold on to her...
Sandile and I looked at each other. He looked directly into my eyes,when I had enough I
moved my eyes away from his. When we were all done eating Nokthula's mom went to
bed followed by Nokthula and I offered to wash the dishes. Sandile came in the kitchen
a while after. He opened the fridge and took out some fudge. He took a fork and dug in
while it was in its container. I looked at him while he was eating it. I never knew he had
a ghetto side. I think he felt my eyes on him and looked up.
Sandile: Inkinga? (problem?)
I shake my head
Sandile: Uhhm would u like some?
Me: "Uhhm Im good."
Sandile: I wont bite. C'mon...
He looked at me with pretty eyes... I couldn't debate with it. He wouldnt do anything
with his mother around... I grabbed a fork and dug in with him. We jus ate in perfect
silence. I had been longing for this peace......
.
.
.
.

INSERT 47.......
The Shezi house was really great when Sandile's mother was around. I mean, it was
warm. Ofcos she was told the reason why I had my luggage and about to leave the house
at 6 in the evening and surprisingly, she made them apologise to me. Even the goat
Sandile apologised. She knows her ways with them. I guess its true when they say
nobody knows an individual better than the person who raised them. Well days were
great with her around the house. Apparently she's a lawyer and as Mr Shezi is about to
lose it all to his other wife, shes the only relevant lawyer he could have. She told us that
she's doing it out of caring for her children. The woman has such a perfect heart. Such
purity.... She reminded me of my mother at times. Anyway, days past with her around
and her having private talks with 'her husband' in the study trying to find a strategy on
how to win the divorce case, my first time experiencing Mr Shezi being in the house for
more than 4 hours during the day. I think I loved her too. She treated me as her own.
Apparently today she has to leave. Sandile and Nokthula tried to convince her to stay but
she didn't. But she promised to visit us again. I would've loved if she did. I mean,
Sandile and I were kinna close when she was around. No arguments and what nots. It
was jus perfect peace. We were now walking her to the door...
Nokthula: U know u don't have to go mama
Sandile's mom: Ohh I have to my children. I have a life too.
Sandile: With us...
Sandile's mom: U can always come to visit me.
They nodded.
Sandile's mom: Hau...ihug nex bakithi?
They dragged themselves to her like little kids. That was so sweet..
Sandile's mom: Lebo. C'mon I mean u too. U are family now. Come.
I slowly walked up to her and involved myself in the group hug. My eyes met with
Sandile's eyes. He looked at me deep in the eyes and I immediately looked away. The
hug was finally broken up.
Sandile's mom: Uhm Lebo can u walk me to the car?
Me:"Ohh uhm. y...yea"
She exited the door and I followed her then we walked to her car
Sandile's mom: So...are determined to make ur marriage work?
Me: "Uhhm..."
Sandile's mom: My girl. Trust me. U are the perfect one for him.
Me:"But Mrs Shezi I --"
Sandiles mom: Please call me Ma.. If u don't mind. Or mama ka Sandile if it suits u best
Me:"Uhm okay...."
Sandiles mom: u were saying... ?
Me:"I can't. He cant stand me. We don't get along. His jus too arrogant"
Sandiles mom: I know. He jus needs to be tamed. U can do that.
Me:"I don't think so. Whats the point? He already loves someone"
Sandiles mom: Who? U mean that gold digger Roxanne? Ohh please
Me :"But he loves her. And ....I....also have my own"
Sandile's mom: I get that. But all these other people in between u guys are jus
distractions. My child I knew u were his one the moment I set my eyes on u. Ur
inocence, honesty,respect, beauty,bravery and according to ur marks u also smart.
Everything that every man wants. And its all given to him on a golden plate. Ofcos now
you're blinded but in due time, u'l give in.
I looked down...
Sandiles mom: So...U jus finished ur matric right?
I nodded
Sandiles mom: So where are u planning on doing?
Me:"Well I wanna do dentistry"
Sandiles mom: Wow thats a good choice. In which university?
Me:"I haven't decided yet"
Sandiles mom: I can apply at Wits
Me:"Isn't that expensive? I mean now that Mr Shezi is having a money crisis now and
Nokthula too also has to go to university"
Sandiles mom: Nonsense. I'll pay everything
Me:"But u've already done so much I ...."
Sandiles mom: Uh-uh. as soon as the results are positive, u are going to Wits...
I smiled. I've never imagined myself in Wits University. One of the most expensive and
famous Universities in the whole country. I cant believe I'll be a student there, well if my
marks corresponds with my career of choice...
Sandiles mom: Well, I'll see u Lebo. And please....Don't forget. U and him, deserve each
other....
Me:"Uhm I'll see. Goodbye Ma"
She smiled and entered her car then drove off out of the yard and into the street. I
wondered why Mr Shezi ever took a second wife. I mean, shes beautiful, smart,
independent, kind and warm hearted with a glorious spirit. I would've never looked aside
if I was him. She was a dime. An angel given to the earth. I walked back inside and
Sandile was watching Tv. I stared at him. What if shes right? What if we're destined to
be together? What if we are jus tested to see if we can travel a long life along together?
Even though his selfish, stubborn and arrogant, there was a tiny part in me that actually
liked him. Jus a little part. I dont know if it means much but yes....
Sandile: I know u staring at me.
That was surprising coz I was behind him...He turned his head around and looked at me.
Sandile: Jus so we clear, I hope these few days didn't give u the wrong idea of things. I
had to please mom. I hope it didn't blind u thinking that I have grown to like u or
something. U jus a ....Wife. Still...
Ouch.... He then looked forward.
Sandile: How about u make me some lunch?
Me:"Go do it urself chee"
I walked away. This thing of 'us' I doubt it will happen if he continues acting like a cow.
I deserve much better than that. I walked upstairs and came across Nokthula holding a
bag
Me:"And....?"
Nokthula: Ohh im going to spend time with Siya. He jus came back yesterday.
Me:"Ohh. Came from? "
Nokthula: Some place called Nelspruit....
Me:"Ohh....But.....Luvu went over there the last days. So really" Siya and Luvu work
together?"
Nokthula: Ofcos. those two are like finger and nail.
Me:"So tell me, what exactly do they do"
She then looked abit uneasy
Nokthula: Uhh....u know....whatever Luvu told u. Listen I need to go.
Me:"Wait but..."
Nokthula: Siyas waiting for me outside Lebo.
Me:"Ohh okay..."
I opened the path for her.
Nokthula: Ohh and Please answer ur phone. Luvu has been trynna call u. Trust me, u
dont wanna see his bad side....
With that said she walked away...Bad Side? What bad side? Luvu ain't a guy with bad
tendencies. I walked up to my room and the first thing I did was to check my phone.
Indeed Luvu had been trying to call me. But 16 missed calls?? Really? Lately Ive been
feeling like his always bothered about what im doing and its strange. He never gives me
space. Maybe he missed me much... I dialed his number and he answered soos(like)
immediately..
"I was about to burn that mansion down"
Me: Hey...sorry I was busy with something
"Something like? "
Me: Sandiles mother jus left
"Hmmhm. So when are u visiting me?"
Ever since the "boner" thing, going to visit him was gonna be a problem. I didn't find it
appropriate to do so. What if it happens again?
Me: Uhhm I don't know.
"But Nokthula jus left the house"
Me: Yea...Wait....how did u know...?
"Ohh uhm she....she ...told me"
Me:Uhuh....Okay uhm maybe tomorrow
"Why tomorrow? U have something u wanna do? "
Me: Well yea....
I stood up from the bed and started wondering around the room
"Things like what my lady....
Watch out"
Me: Well...my lau--
I tripped on my sneaker and I almost fell
"U okay?"
Me: Yea.... Iam.
"Okay. So tell me. Whats more fun than spending time with ur lover? I mean Sandile is
the worst person to be around"
Me: Not really
"If u say so...I gotta go. I'll call u"
Me: Uhhm okay...
"Love u"
Me: Love u too...
I switched the call. I felt nmy. soul breeze after talking to him. Wait ....He said watch
out before I tripped my sneaker. How did he know?....No I probably misheard him or
something. I walked to my window smiling and on a top roof in a tall building opposite
the house I noticed someone. The person was dressed in black and though he was a
distance away, I could see he was wearing binoculars viewing the house directly. The
moment he noticed that I am looking at him, he turned and quickly went away. Oh my
God. We being watched. I got scared and quickly ran downstairs...
Me:"Sandile!!!!!"
I ran down the stairs as fast as I could...
Sandile: Yini? (What)
I had already lost my breath. I was trying to get it back, those steps are like a mini great
wall of china. One slip and theres no way u would survive the fall....
Sandile: Uthuswa yini manje (what scared u? )
Me:"We...we...are...bd...
Sandile: I can't understand u jus speak properly
I took a deep breath
Me:"We are being watched. I saw a man looking at this house with binoculars and when
I saw him he went away"
Sandile: Pssh are u kidding me?
Me'"Im serious."
Sandile: Ur bedroom lies on the far left of this house so probably "u were watched"
Me:"This isn't funny. What if its the press looking for a nice story? "
Sandile: How would they know?
Me:"Well ur tra;--... Ur girlfriend now knows about us. Could be her"
He looked aside thinking
Sandile: She wouldn't do that
Me:"Whether she would or not, im being watched..." I settled myself down... I couldn't
believe it. This was strange.
Sandile: Uhhm....If u still feel unsafe, u can sleep in my room...
I looked up and looked at him
Sandile: Dont dance thinking its a jackpot. I wont be around tonight so my room will be
available....
Wooo that was better....
Me:"Uhm Thanks"
Sandile: Cool....
He stared at me in the eyes again and I stared into his, then pulled out from the eye
contacting...
He grabbed his car keys and walked to the door.
Sandile: I'm out.
And he left..... But....Who could be watching me exactly?? Am I safe? .....
.
.
.

INSERT 48.....
I had spent hours watching Tv waiting for either Mr Sokhulu or Sandile to come back. I
felt unsafe sleeping in this house alone. Ofcos there are guards around the house but the
are outside. Since Vinolia had been fired there hasn't been a replacement for her so the
house was as empty as a poor man's fridge. I had thoughts about who would want to
view this house and if it is in danger. What if the house wants to get attacked? And I'm
here sitting alone without Nokthula nor Sandile. Why the heck was I brought to this
house in the first place? After hours of waiting I decided to prepare myself for sleep. I
switched off the Tv,went and took a shower then got in my pjs. As Sandile said, I
decided to sleep in his room. I slowly entered the room and wow....the room was
impressive. It had a Tv installed in it, sound system, computer and other electrical
appliances, a sofa ,a king size bed,built in wardrobes,a bathroom and even a fish tank. It
was really beautiful. I found myself gazing at it. What intrigued me was the paintings on
the wall. Other paintings were of a monster I couldn't make out of,a girl crying, a couple
that looked like they were ball dancing and a small frame of his picture when he was a
baby. Auww... So cute... I never knew he was art kinna person. The room looked great.
I guess he has taste of things. I looked at the neatly done bed with navy sheets. I thought
of him and his floozy making out on it and lost interest in getting inside them. I opened
the wardrobe and found a blanket, I took it and climbed on the bed. I wondered why this
was happening. I never had any enemies. I cant even think of one person who would
want to stalk me. Why? .... With those thoughts I slowly drifted off to sleep.....
.
.
The next morning came and I arised from the bed. I saw Sandile's Jacket on the sofa but
saw no sign of him. I got up and fixed the bed as well as return the blanket where I
found it and went out. I went to the bathrooms and did the norms then headed over
downstairs to make myself something to eat. I heard the Tv playing and people making
noise. Turns out it was Sandile and Tshepo.... Mxm how I hated seeing this guy.... The
moment I walked in the talking got seized. Tshepo took a glance at me,more especially
my legs since I was wearing short pjs and Sandile jus kept a straight face.
Me:" Morning"
Tshepo: Woo morning monalisa.
Sandile: Ya....
Tshepo: I wonder what u eat, I mean damn u jus keep glowing and glowing by the day.
He bit his lip
Sandile: Dude cut it out.
Tshepo: Ohh sorry...So are yall now playing husband and wife? Coz like yall are the
only ones in this house...
This guy was now pushing it.
Me:"How does that involve u? "
Sandile: Rethabile shut up. And dude no. Like really now?
Me:"Don't tell me to shut up and its Relebogile"
Sandile: Yea whatever. Jus shut it.
Tshepo chuckled.
Tshepo: That proves enough to me that yall are far from even thinking of making this
work.
Sandile: U got no idea.
Me:"Hey...."
Sandile: Ayi awume kancane tu...
I looked aside with my hands folded. Jus when I thought this guy has a soul of
sense,thinking maybe he has a kind region in him, but his stubborness was really not up
to date.
Tshepo: U know... if u looking for a side, look no futher.
Sandile: Well its kinna too late for that. Can u believe this chick is rolling with that
Nigga Vuyo?
Tshepo: Holl up....The psyco nigro?
Sandile: Indeed.
Tshepo: Woah why would she roll with ur enemy?
Sandile: Here she is dude ask her..
Tshepo: Girl I adore ur choice in guys. U know I wouldve been perfect for u
Sandile: Don't push it dawg. U can see that shes a loose screw. Shes way too stubborn
and naiive
Tshepo; Yea I can see that. Don't u wanna give us a try sweety?
Me:"mxm"
Tshepo: C'mon. Remember the chemistry u and I had last year at that party?
Arrgg how dare he? I stormed out of the lounge into the kitchen. The guy is a dog. What
I hate about him is that firstly,his acting up like him harassing me wasn't a case,secondly
he has the guts to claim that his perfect for me? More than that,his busy laughing and
dinning with a person he claims to be his 'Bestfriend' knowing very well that his fucking
his girl. What kind of a monster is he? I even lost my appetite and I didn't feel like eating
no more. This guy disgusts me to the core. I decided to find something to do jus to get
my mind off them so I decided to clean up the place,since there isn't any maid available.
I got the cleaning appliances and insert my headphones that are connected to my IPod
and started cleaning the place. I began cleaning downstairs in other rooms excluding the
lounge. I didn't want to entertain them. I cleaned the place and went upstairs? jus to
clean the bathroom and my bedroom. When I was done I put away the cleaning
appliances and went downstairs. My stomach was now rumbling with hunger. The
lounge seemed quiet so im guessing they left. I got to the kitchen and started toasting
some bread and frying eggs. Jus when I dished up for myself ....I felt arms wrap around
my waist. I freaked and tried to remove them but they held on too tight....
Tshepo: Hey princess
Me:"Let me go u moron"
Tshepo: Why im jus giving u a nice good morning embrace.
Me:"Tshepo stop it"
He started sniffing my neck
Tshepo: Hmmm iv been meaning to finish what we started that afternoon....don't u
wanna?
Me:"Let me go!!!"
I was trying to force myself away from his arms but the more I tried,the tighter he held
me
Tshepo: C'mon. Think about u and I together. I can even treat u better than ur nigga...
I tried at all means to move myself from him. Suddenly,we heard someone clear their
thoat... He quickly let go of me and moved aside. I looked back and saw Sandile looking
at us with disgusted looks. His face was straight and didn't have an emotion. He was jus
blank. But in his eyes I could tell that his disgusted. He clicked his tongue and walked
out. I quickly walked upstairs and immediately locked myself in my room. How I hated
this guy. His a pervert. He thirsts for me and how I let him do so I don't know. I had no
emotion. I jus felt angry at him. But no, I can't let him get to me. His jus a pervert. I cant
let him scare me. I got through with myself and hit the shower, I lotioned myself as soon
as I got done and dressed into a simple short dress and let my braids hang loose. I went
over downstairs where Sandile was playing with his phone and eating fudge again.
Whats up with this guy and sweet things. When I got in he looked at me from head to
toe then faced his phone again...
Me:" Uhhm...Thanks for letting me sleep in ur room yesterday"
He kept quiet.
Me:"Ohhkay...."
I turned my way and walked away.
Sandile: It didn't take time for u to become a hoe...or were u one even before u came?
Me:"Excuse me? "
Sandile: I mean first u worm urself in this family,and win urself my enemy now my
nigga? For a second there I was starting to like u. But now I see
Me:" What are talking about Sandile?"
Sandile: The Shit u doing!!? Everything is jus wrong about u. Ur approach here, me
having to marry u...What are u?
Me:"Really?? Wow...jus when I thought u had a heart!!"
Sandile: hehehe u know what u a stupid girl. And u even more stupid for wanting to fuck
with Tshepo. Ofcos he told me about yall fucking in that party?
Me:"What!? is that what he said?"
Sandile: U know what? u stupid, u dump!! U jus a loose girl who jus as the rest who
wants to claw themselves in others with power..
Me:"Thats Enough!!!!!"
He looked at me
Me:"Sandile excuse me for being a burden in ur life and I didn't plan to be one.
Marrying u was something I had to do for my family. I never wanted u. I never wanted
to get married at 16 I never asked for all of this!!!I did think of us having a slight chance
but no coz u the stupid one. u can't even realize that ur bestfriend harrasses me neither
can u see that his fucking ur girl coz u stupid and selfless. U are not a human
being....!!!!"
Sandile:Well I don't care if- .....wait what did u say.....????
.
.
.

INSERT 49......
Sandile: I beg ur pardon?
I can't believe I jus told him the truth
Me: I ....
Sandile: Hehe wow u such a twisted young lady aren't u. Now u rejecting him coz I told
u exactly what u are....
Excuse me?
Me:"What? Sandile honestly im telling the truth"
Sandile: Eyy unamanga wena skheberesh!!!!!(u are lying u whore)... I had known that
guy since high school and u are here to tell me lies about him? Theres no way he would
do that to me!
Me:"What reason would I have to lie to u? "
Sandile: I don't know but u lying!!!!
Me:"Tshepo and Roxy are having an affair under ur nose Sandile wake up!!!"
In a slight of a moment I found his hands holding my jaw so tight. I couldn't open my
mouth or try to scream. He was hurting me. He looked at me deep in the eyes and he was
intimidating I don't wanna lie. He was like a bull ready to set a fight. I felt my jaw
wanting to break...
Me:"Mssand..ile!!!"
I couldn't even speak properly. The words in me were jus mumblings....
Sandile: Listen to me and listen to me very carefully....If u want to live in this very
house without any broken ribs and bruises on this tramp body of urs, u better learn how
to shut the fuck up and stop talking shit about my bestfriend and girlfriend or hell help
me I will break u...
He let go off me.
Sandile: Dare say something like that to me again,u'll go back to ur shitty little family in
less than a day. Nxa! the nerve.....
With that said he walked out. I can't believe what jus happend. I get that I never really
show emotions and that Im not his lover, but for him to insult me in that way, thats way
too cruel. I felt my soul scatter. I felt broken. Maybe its because I never thought he'd
believe them over me. But how stupid was I to think that? To him I'm an outcast.
Someone who clawed her way in. In his eyes im a stranger. Things will never be in the
way its suppose to be. Sandile and I are like two oceans that jus wont meet. Nothing can
ever bring motion towards this. Nothing. I hope sooner or later his eyes will be opened...
I felt so small and down. I dragged myself into my room feeling very low and defeated.
Somehow I felt fear kick inside of me. The feeling was jus one unexplainable. Sandile
looked dangerous actually. And at this point I didn't feel like being around him. I
decided that I should go to Luvus house. I felt really uneasy to be hear. So much bad
blood going on. I took a sports bag and packed my stuff. After packing I texted Luvu
that he should come and fetch me and he said he'll be here in 20 minutes. I don't know
but deep inside me I miss my old life. A moment ago I was an A student in my school
with my bestfriend Lee, my brother Phetollo, my mother, my father, everything. I even
started crying. At this point I felt weak and I know what to do whenever I felt this way. I
knelt down before my bed and closed my eyes....
"Father in the name of Jesus Christ. I'd like to thank u for giving me life. But father, I
don't know what has become of me. They say marriage is a blessing but mine is a curse.
Because of marriage I had stumbled into a new life that I never imagined myself being
in. Father I'm lost and I ask for ur guidance. My life is a wreck. I trust u only to fix it.
And so it may be done. Amen"
I opened my eyes that had already filled my cheeks with flowings of tears. Ohh how
deep life had left me. Luvu texted me back notifying me that his at the gate. I took my
bag and walked out of my room. I walked downstairs and came across Sandile who was
watching soccer drinking beer. He gave me a look then concerntrated back on the match.
I gof over with myself and walked out of the house. I asked the guards to open the gate
for me and I exited the yard. Luvu was already waiting for me dressed in a red shirt, a
white skinny jean and timberlands. He looked really good. As soon as I got to him I
gave him a hug
Luvu: I've missed u
Me:"I've missed u too"
Luvu: U good?
Me:"Im...okay"
Luvu: Okay cool. Lets leave this place.... I got into the car while Luvu took a glance of
the house then got into the car.
Luvu: So tell me...Who's in the house?
Me:"Jus that--- uhm Sandile"
Luvu: Alone?
I nodded
Luvu: Alright ..... I've got something for u my lady.
Me:" Really?"
Luvu: Ahh waitse le wena (u know)
I laughed
Me:" Never try speaking my language"
Luvu: Yea yea I'l fix my accent.
He took out a Cadbury chocolate milk chocolate. He always buys this for me whenever
we meet .... I smiled.
Me:"Auw my favorite chocolate."
Luvu: I will never forget it.
I smiled and leaned towards him and kissed him then he started the engine and we hit
the road. I enjoyed being around Luvu. The only guy who knows how to make me feel
special. Moments after we were at his apartment. He parked the car and we got out then
walked up to the door and went in.
Luvu: U hungry?
Me:"Uhh nah. the chocolate has me covered"
Luvu:*chuckle* Iv never heard of someone who's stomach got full with jus a few slabs
of chocolate.
Me:"well I'm me."
He came closer to me and looked at me deeply in the eyes
Luvu: U don't know how much I love u.
I jus blushed.
Luvu: And I never wanna let u go. I'd rather die....
That statement didn't handle me well but hey his trynna be romantic.... He leaned closer
to me and kissed me. We kissed and he was kissing me in his usual way, corrosing
himself on me like he had gone a decade without one. In a slip of a second he had picked
me up and was now carrying me with my legs around his waist. Im heavy, a size 38 and
how he managed to have the strength to pick me up,I don't know. Right now, I was
feeling his embrace. All I wanted was his affection. He slowly walked to the mini stairs
still kissing me and keep in mind that I'm still on his hips. I was holding on for dear life
..This guy, someone would swear he was on steroids. He held me till we made it to the
room. I don't know if the boner thing would happen again tonight. He slowly laid me on
the bed and kissed me like no other. The session was now getting steamy and hot until
suddenly there was a knock downstairs...He was ignoring it but I couldn't...I pulled out
....
Me: "uh uh. go and open ...."
Luvu: Arrg c'mon
Me: Jus go....
He got up and dragged himself downstairs and I waited for him. Minutes after I realized
I had left my bag in the living room. I got up and slowly walked downstairs. Jus before I
appeared I heard Luvu talking to a woman. I moved abit back so eavesdrop on them. Its
wrong I know, but they sounded suspicious....
Her: Shes losing her thinking. She wants all the money to herself. ....
I recognized her voice
Luvu: Ey I don't care about yall u urself agreed differently. Does the case look good?
Her:Ofcos. I went Fannie and he took the recordings of him that I have and made it
sound like he was making me sleep with him or I'll get fired....
Wait.... That voice..... It was actually Vinolia. What?
Luvu: Good. What ever it takes to get that scumbag Shezi dry and out. I want him to be
as poor as a church mouse. He'll pay for what he did to my mom...
I couldn't believe this. The master plan of all this is Luvu? No I might be dreaming.... I
can't believe Luvu would do such things. Why? ....
Luvu: I'll give u ur share for ur cooperation. man it took so long
Vinolia: What about his other wife? The guards told me shes been there. They must be
planning something to win the case...
Luvu: Dont worry about that...I'll get her out of the way....
I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. My own boyfriend is behind this?With a
plan of bringing Mr Shezi down.. I was now trembling up. Iv been dating a devil... I
walked up fast and accidently my cellphone fell loud enough for them to hear... Ohh no
.
.
.

INSERT 50.....
Adrenalin was rushing in my body. I've never been scared of Luvu before but after what
I've heard, I ain't certain who he is. Hes actually two faced. I didn't even want to think of
what he'd do to me.
Vinolia: Is there anyone else in this house...
Luvu: Yea My girlfriend
Vinolia: What?
Luvu: Relax...I'll talk to her... Baby!!!
My heart started beating fast. I felt my palms sweat. What is gonna become of me...?
Me:"Ba..be"
Shit my voice wasn't convincing, i sounded like I'v heard them. I sounded terrified. Arg
now I know they certain that I've heard them..
Vinolia: Are u sure u'l convince her?
Luvu: Lebo...eza man babe.(come).....
I took a deep breath. I can't run away now. I slowly walked towards the dinning room
with my legs trembling. I appeared and the first thing my eyes came across was Vinolia's
eyes. She was dressed in an black adidas tracksuit with white sneakers. My first time
seeing her body clearly and so it convinces me that she wasn't exactly the age I imagined
her. I first thought she was in her late 30s but her body without her uniform looks to be
in her early 30s. She looked at me and her jaw dropped.
Vinolia: Her! ? Hai Luvuyo uphambene (u crazy)
I looked at them and their looks were intimidating...
Luvu: I know u know her and I trust her. Did u hear anything we said sthandwa?
I didn't know what to say. The fear in me took a big part of my speech. I had this huge
lump in my thoat.
Vinolia: Are u scheming??
She asked looking at me
Luvu: U crazy?..Shes my girlfriend....
Vinolia looked worried to see me while Luvu was as chilled as a winters morning...
Vinolia: Do u know who she is?
Luvu: I know she lives in that house
Vinolia: nx..nx..nx...Luvuyo! This was the girl I had been telling u about. The one I said
she knows...
Luvu: Ohh wow babe u actually cracked it? Aren't I blessed? .....
You know, Luvu was jus weird. He isn't even shaken by the thought that I know their
plan. Neither is he worried that I know his true colours and how dodgy he is. He didn't
even mind. He was jus calm...
Vinolia: Luvuyo do u know who that is and her relation to the Shezis?
Luvu: Ya ndaz k'ba yi relative yabo qa (Ya I know shes their relative only)
Vinolia: Ohh Vuyo yi Vrou ka Sandile!!!!!
He started laughing...
Luvuyo: Yoh Vinolia U cant fool me. She can't be that niggas girlfriend yo haii....
He continued laughing...
Vinolia: Not icherry yakhe(not his girlfriend), His wife. When I said theres a wedding at
the Shezis who did u think was getting married? .....
Ohhh no..
Luvu: Ya u did say Sandile and it was.....an.....arranged .......marriage.....Fuck!!!!!
Luvus mood changed so drastically
Luvu: How did I not think of this? Ahh....
He pushed everything that was on the dinning table and they fell. I jumped. Vases
scattered on the floor. I was now afraid of him. He turned to me.
Luvu: Why didn't u tell me!!!!?
I tried gasping a word but couldnt let out a voice.
He took the remaining vase on the table and in a second it was flying towards my
direction. I shifted on my side and it hit the wall. I was now breathing fast, I didn't know
what to do...
Vinolia: Get her!
Luvu:U don't tell me what to do!!!!
Luvu sounded crazy. He sounded like a beast. I was afraid of his next move. I quickly
ran upstairs and got in the room and closed the door. I couldn't feel safe in his
room,there had to be a way out. I walked over to the window and My Gosh!!The height
was way too high. The apartment was like 6 floors away from the ground. Me escaping
through it would be suicide. Ohh no now what? I looked around and saw the bathroom
then ran into it and locked myself in it. My hands were vibrating with fear,but I managed
to lock the door. I turned and browsed around for a place to hide. I looked on the mirror
and there pieces of papers pasted against it. They looked like note cards. I walked closer
to read them correctly. One was written "My named is Luvuyo Zitha",another "I have a
mother and a sister named Olwethu",another was "My girlfriends name is Lebo",
another is "My biggest enemy's name is Sokhulu Shezi", another was"My friends names
are Siya,Kaybee,Rodney and Khush" another, "I operate in a drug business owned by
my enemy" and the last one was "I seek revenge from Shezi"..... With every piece of
note card I read, My mind was jus playing mind games. Why would he have note cards
about himself on his mirror? Does he have a psychological problem? I remembered back
to when Tshepo said he was a psyco... I leaned down and opened the little bathroom
cupboard and it had rows of different pills. Right on the left cupboard door there was a
business card of a psychological doctor written DR NEL with numbers underneath. This
proved to me that he is a psyco. What did I get myself into? I looked at the pills and I
took one packet. This must be the drugs he distributes. One thing I didn't get was that
one of the cards he wrote that he works for his enemy,which I guess is Mr Shezi. Is Mr
Shezi a drug lord? Could that be why he is also all over the place? I couldn't believe all
this. This was jus too much for me. Suddenly I heard the bedroom door burst open.
Luvu: Where are u!!!?
I trembled and quickly closed the cupboard then kept quiet. The bathroom door handle
was turned,but it couldn't open.
Luvu: Lebo vula apa man!!!!(open up)
I slowly moved backwards. This guy now scares the heck out of me.
Luvu: Lebo open this fucking door or I'll shoot ....
I wasn't gonna open. Hell no. Chances were that I was gonna get killed. I jus pinched
myself on the wall. My heart was beating on another level. He let go of the handle and
silence followed. I hoped that he had gone away. My body felt weak and I sank down on
the floor trying to think of how I was gonna escape this. I didn't even had my phone. I
didn't pick it up from where it fell and escaping through the window wasn't an option. I
stayed in that position thinking my brain out until I was disturbed by a gunshot that
sounded to be directly at the door...
"Aahhhhh" I screamed. In less than a minute the door flung open and Luvu walked in. I
don't wanna lie but I felt terrified. I was now deeply scared of him. He came to me and
roughly pulled my hand that I stood up. He pulled me so harshly to the bedroom
Me:"Luvu please don't".
He pulled my arm towards my back and stood behind me. Gosh he was hurting me. I
was screaming. His hand made its way to my mouth and it was holding a cloth. He
covered my mouth and my nose with it. The cloth had a smell of some sort of strong
chemical. I tried not to inhale it but it was pressed closely towards my nose and mouth. I
felt my mind getting dizzy and my vision getting blur. My body felt as weak as paper. I
felt like having a deep sleep. My body and mind surrendered and I passed out.......
.
.
.

INSERT 51.....
I was slowly gaining conscience. I felt back into reality after a deep sleep. I tried
opening my eyes, they were heavy, but within a few blinks I got them opened. It was
dark around me. All I could see was little beams of light coming from something that
looked like a window. My vision was still blurry so I couldn't make out my
environment. My position looked like I was sitting on a chair. I tried to move but my
hands couldn't. They were tied behind me. Together with my legs tied against the
chair...Where am I? It hit me of the incident in Luvu's apartment. He must've captured
me. What does he wanna do to me? I took a look around and this place looked
abandoned. It was shallow.
"Help!!!" I screamed. Probably not the best idea but this environment was scaring me.
"Somebody help me!!!" I screamed still. My body had thorns. I felt helpless. My voice
wasn't even loud. Where am I? ......
.
.
.
#Sandile
My name is Sandile Shezi. Most call me Snyder. Im doing my last year in law, well
chosen by my so called father who didn't believe that art was a career. Im the son of a
very rich man in the country, Sokhulu Shezi. Well most adore him but I dont. I hate him
coz I know him better than they all do. He used to hit my mother alot,even when she was
pregnant with my little sis Nokthula. Him cheating on my mom and stepping over us
because he thinks his the boss,but people still liked him for the fact that his rich and has
alot of businesses in the country and abroad. What people don't know is that all the
businesses he own isn't really what he does. His actually a drug Lord. I know this coz he
had been trynna convince me to take over his 'business' one day. What they actually do
is purchase certain painkillers from the US,California to be specific, then their lab rats
mix it all up and make a drug called Fusion then they distribute it across all his business.
These businesses are legit, but they jus a cover up so they wont get suspected. They
transport all these drugs using different kind of methods, like hiding them in a bundle of
sneakers. Well I at first admired to be part of it but I couldn't. I hated what it made them.
Many cases have been made about death caused by these Fusion but he wouldn't care.
All he wants is to make cash. What I hate more is his psyco Second In Command Man
named Luvuyo. The nigga had been working for my pops for years now. His a psyco coz
I've seen him kill people. He jus kills for the sake of seeing blood. Many are afraid of
him except me. He don't scare me at all. His jus a nigga with loose screws to me. I was
horribly shocked when I heard that he's rolling with Rethabile. I wonder if she knows
what she got herself into. Im not a bad guy most especially because of how I treat My
'wife'. I jus think that this whole marriage and ancestor things are jus Sokhulu's ways of
getting to me. I even think he poisoned my mother jus so he could make it seem
real...He hates the fact that I party almost every weekend but the guy ain't finna do shit. I
probably treat Her like that because I don't wanna give him the pleasure of making me
wanna fall into his tricks. I hope that u like me and like to hear my side of the story.......
.
I woke up late in the morning, about 10 with the sun's rays filling my room brightly. I
had passed out on my bed with my laptop on my lap busy e-mailing with some chick
called Tiffany. Well girls get all over me but I know its because of my status and wealth.
Little did they know that it was all drug cash. I closed my laptop and made my way to
the bathroom and brushed my teeth. When I got done I went out the room with only
simple pants on and was without a shirt with a single gold chain. I liked waking up like
this. I made my way downstairs and heard the Tv playing. It must be the country
pumpkin(Lebo). After what happend last afternoon I didn't feel like seeing her face. I
felt bad about threatening her, I don't threaten woman nor beat them up. Jus that what
she said to me pushed me way too far. Ofcos she didn't look like a gold digger but that
had to be a lie. Shes probably trynna make herself look innocent to me while she also
has her dodgy ways. I walked straight into the kitchen and made cereals for myself. I
was gonna eat them in my room jus to avoid Country Pumpkin. While I was walking I
noticed that whats playing on the Tv was currency news. I knew only one person on
earth who always watches that when theres a chance. I walked up to the lounge and saw
Sokhulu busy viewing some news paper.
Me:"How can u read and what Tv at the same time? "
He lowered his newspaper and raised his glasses to his forehead and took a stare at me...
Sokhulu: Aren't u suppose to be at school right now?
Me:"Really? Is that ur way of saying good morning?"
Sokhulu: I asked u a question
Me:"No... Im done for the semester, only waiting for the exams"
Sokhulu: U better pass them
Me:"Mxxm.... 'better pass them'"
Sokhulu: Don't start.
I clicked my tongue. This man gives me the nerves..
He went back to his newspaper.
Sokhulu: You know Euro has rised to 80c now.
Me:"Hmmh..."
Sokhulu: We have to produce more Fusion to transport over there. The only problem is
the airport security.
Me:"Aren't u suppose to be telling that to ur puppet?"
Sokhulu: Atleast Luvuyo listens to me!!!
Me:"Sure he does..."
Sokhulu: U such a disgrace of a son u know....
Me:" Am I? wow thanks for the compliment baba. But I think ur pops was suppose to
pass it over to u. Shouldnt u be focusing on ur case? I mean, this 'euro' u dreaming about
is about to get lost coz of how jumpy ur pants are."
He suddenly stood up.
Sokhulu: Watch what u say to me yezwa?? Ngoba ngizo- (because I'll-)
Me:" Uzongiyenzani? huh? Uzong'shaya jus as u did ku mama? U'll kill me jus as u did
to all those guys that didnt co operate with u? Angik'sabe we khehla ndina (What will u
do to me? Are u gonna beat me up jus as u did to mom? I ain't afraid of u old man )"
He gave me a cold stare and he sat down.
Me:"Nxa... ngyazile (I knew it)"
Sokhulu:I don't have your time right now
Me:"U never really have time for anyone than ur stupid dope business anyway so save
me the bull sulk"
I walked away to my room. On my way there I noticed Country Pumpkin's room abit
open. I was about to pass when I realized her bed is clean and there is no sign of her. I
guess she slept at that Vuyo's crib. Pssh bloody township chicks. I continued walking
and got to my room......
.
.
#Relebogile....
I had been screaming for help for the past 30 minutes and I get no response. My voice is
even scratchy now. Why me? God I prayed that my life should get better but all it seems
to do is to get worse.... Why??? Tears flowed down my cheeks. I felt hopeless. Seconds
later I heard voices of people coming towards the door and the door was opened. The
people weren't clear since it was dark.
Me:"I....is the..re somebody there..?"
I heard footsteps walking towards the window and the window blinds were opened. The
sun's bright rays were hurting my eyes and I closed them. I didn't even know it was day
due to the way it was so dark...
Luvu: Lebo....
I opened my eyes and saw Luvu standing before me. I looked at him in the eyes. His
eyes were actually scary. I had turn to fear him now.
Luvu: Ohh sweety...
He brought his hands towards my face and wiped my tears off my cheeks.
Luvu: Don't be afraid. Its me. Ur man...
Me:"Lu...Baby I'm sorry I --"
Luvu:Shhh.....
He ran his hands across the rest of my cheek. Withinevery touch I had a tremble in me.
Lets not forget this guy is a psyco. I might never know his next move.
Luvu: Why didn't u tell me?
Me:"I....I didn't know h...how to"
Luvu: Were.. u ...spying on me? Are u somebodys bait?
Me:"What? no Luvu its me Lebo."
Luvu: And u know quite much. How do I know that u not lying!!!!..
My heart jumped.
Me:"Noo..."
Luvu: Heheh....Tell me this? Do u really love me?
That question hit me cold ...
Me:"Uhh"
Luvu:Huh!!!!?
Me:"Yes...yes I do"
Luvu: Well... I'll find out soon enough....
He faced the guy who was at the window...
Luvu: Give her food and send someone to feed her. I don't wanna risk untying her giving
her a chance to escape understand?
Him:Yes sir....
He looked at me and kissed me on my cheek then walked out followed by his guy. I
stayed there again in the dark wondering how am I gonna get through this? ......
.
.
#Sandile
It was now afternoon and I was all bored in my room with nothing to do. I decided that I
should go and see my girl Roxy. Ever since she found out about the marriage thing, she
had been distant. I know that she wouldn't let me go, nah she values the popularity she
gets rolling with me. I got dressed into a black vest and black swag pants and topped it
off with with my black and white J's, two gold chains and a white cap that I faced
backwards. I looked good. I took my car keys and walked out of my room. I got
downstairs and found my pops trynna do something that seemed like making food.
Me:"And then? "
Sokhulu: Kanti where is uLebo no Nokthula?
Me:"Don't know"
Sokhulu: Arg has there ever been a rich zulu man that makes his own lunch?
Me:"I hate to break it to u. Buh....u kinna had it coming. Driving away mom? Ur spoilt
daughter and stupid daughter in law all ovwr the place? Fucking with ur maid and
driving out ur skank? U brought it to urself. Go get urself another maid if u can. nxa."
Without giving him a chance I walked out and got in my Mustang. My uncle bought it
for me last year on my birthday. The guards opened thee gate for me and I drove off
playing Roll up by Emtee banging off the streets. It hit me that maybe I was a little
unfair on Roxy and I jus can't rock up at her place without something to offer my
forgiveness with. So I stopped on a mall and bought an expensive diamond necklace at
sterns then some roses from a certain florist. I got back in my coupe as soon as I had
purchased all that then drove off to My girls place. When I arrived, I switched off the
music and engine,took the things I got her and locked the car. Roxy lived in flats. Her
parents live in Krugersdoorp so they let her live with her sister here, who's always busy
with work. I walked up the stairs and got to her door. When I was about to knock I
realised that the door was already half opened. I thought maybe let me surprise her. I
slowly opened the door widely and entered without making sound. I heard noised from
the sitting room and I walked over there...... I couldn't believe what my eyes were
seeing. Roxy was making out with Tshepo on the couch. I felt my heart beating fast. The
roses and necklace box fell on the ground....
Me:"The fuck!!"
They quickly separated their bodies and looked at me.
I can't believe this.....
.
.
.

INSERT 52......
#SANDILE
I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Everything in the universe jus stopped. A feeling
in me wanted to scream out to the whole world. I felt so mad. They both looked at me
speechlessly without knowing what to do. Roxy got up and tried covering her body with
the dress that was scattered on the floor....
Roxy: Uhhm bae...I ...What are u doing here? ....
Really?? is this chick for real?
Me:"Are u for real!!?"
Tshepo stood up while trying to get his boxers on.
Tshepo: Uhm ...Sny my nigga.
I chuckled....
Me:"U--Ur nigga? ur nigga!"
Roxy: Sandile calm do-
Me:"Shut the fuck up Roxanne!!!"
She faced aside. I gave Tshepo who was facing me a death stare. I felt like strangling the
life out of this guy. My nerves were ready pop out.
Me:"How long? "
Roxy: We didn't mea-
Me: "Ey ngithe how long?!!"
Tshepo: Whats the point u got a wife. .....
I don't know how but I found myself strangling him on his throat. Roxy was all trying to
rescue him off my hands and the bitch was butt naked. I let him go and he was coughing.
Me:"Ngyekele wena(leave me)"
I yanked my hand off Roxy.
Me:"Is that what this is all about?? U heard I forcefully got married and u took the
chance to jump in my best friend's pants? Is thats what this is all about? "
Roxy: Kodwa Sandile imagine if u found out I was married what would u have said? U
would've left me the moment u found out...
Me:"Hehe well I wouldve atleas-....Know what, U deserve each other. U both
manipulative and ratchet. Heres the things I thought I could bring for my forgiveness."
She looked at the roses and the black box that was slightly opened showing off the
diamond necklace I had bought her. All this had cost me R3400. I turned my way and
kicked the box out my way.
Roxy: Wait....Baby ....
I didn't even want to listen to anything coming from her mouth. I jus walked straight out
and banged the door. Having Roxy cheat on me wasn't really painful. I mean she had
cheated on Luvu with me while they were still dating so obviously she wouldve done the
same to me. What hit me was the fact that she was cheating on me with my friend. How
does one accept that kind of disappointment? Truly I was hurt and misfunctioning in my
brain. I remenbered when Country Pumpkin told me that they are having an affair, and I
hurt the poor girl. She was right. I was stupid. I am actually the fool. I've been seeing
myself as mighty and that Im never wrong and she stood against me. No body stands
against me,yet she did and she was right. I was wrong and she was right. Now she cant
even come home because of that I hate her guts. What hurts me in this situation was that
I was slowly turning into my father. My mother used to warn him about gambling and
what it would do to us but he didn't listen and called her a fool. Would slap her infront of
me to only show what a man does when a woman tell him nonsense. At the end he got
on the wrong side of things and we were held hostage with guns at his house. I had a gun
pointed at me jus coz the ruthless nigga wouldn't stay away from gambling. I was only
11 years old. Now Rethabile told me about my girl's affair with my best friend and
because I underestimate her, I didn't listen to her and let my hands do the talking. Arg I
should be ashamed of myself. I needed to drown myself. I decided to take a turn to a
road that leads to a certain strip club. While I was driving I saw a BMW X5 following
me. I brushed off the feeling and continued driving till I got to Paris Club, a place where
my old friends and I used to scout for chicks at. I kinna missed them,but coz I saw
myself better than them I cut them off. I got inside and headed straight for the bar ....
"Hit me with a shot. No make that three shots" I said to the barman and he came back
with them after a minute. I went down on them straight. The bitter sour taste of liquor
has a way of driving out my pain. I usually drink when I think of all the things my father
had made me face so im used to drinking away my burdens.
"Another three" I said and he did so, as soon as they were infront of me I went down on
them.
"Weekend starting already??"
I heard a voice behind me and I recognized it.
Me:"Arg leave me alone Nokthula"
Nokthula: Is there a problem at home?
I jus drank up my last shot.
Me:" Barman. Please. .again"
Nokthula:Uh uh man Sandile u can't drink up like this. What is wrong? Is mo-.... Is mom
okay?
Sandile: "Eyy man Nokthula everyone's okay so jus chill and get away from me."
Nokthula:Everyone but my own brother
I looked over the other direction and saw one of my old niggas Siya coming our way...
Me:" Ur munchie is coming to get u"
He came to us.
Siya: Uhm babe is everything ok?
Nokthula: I dont know. Sandile wont speak.
He looked at me and I jus drank up my drink.
Siya: U okay?
Me: "Is that-...."
I realized I had to stop treating them like nothing. I felt like nothing anyway.
Me:"I'm cool".
Siya: Wanna.....maybe chill with us?
I looked at him. I thought they hated me, especially him.Why would he want me to chill
with them. But...Honestly,I missed them.
Me:"Sure"
I stood up and followed him to where them other guys were chilling. As soon as they
noticed me , the atmosphere changed. They jus spread a look on me. Most especially my
old best friend Achie. Him and I had been friends since primary. He looked disgusted to
see me. Not that I blame him. I did him wrong.
Me:"Hey....guys...."
They jus kept silent on me. I realized now that the world has now turned its back on me
all because of my arrogance.......
.
.
.
#Relebogile
It has now been an hour since Luvu went out of the room. I tried with all my powers to
find a way to help myself out but I've been failing. They tied me with a thin plastic tube
kinna rope. The more pressure I put on it, the more it hurt my wrist. What was my
purpose of being here? I can't handle this anymore. I've been crying but it doesn't help
with anything. My tears don't touch the ground. They wont be heard. Where are my
ancestors when I need them?..... I heard the door unlocking and the guy that was with
Luvu earlier holding a tray of food. My stomach didn't feel like digesting anything. All I
wanted was to be far away from Luvuyo as possible.
Him: Time to eat....
I gave him a cold stare.
Me:"I'm not hungry"
Him: Boss said u should eat
Me: "I'm not gonna eat anything offered by either u or him"
He chuckled
Him: U know, u actually lucky. Most people that boss keeps here are offered raw meat
and cockroaches to eat and u are prepared a nice 7 colours meal. I don't know of one
person who would turn this down....
I looked at him. He opened the plate and dug the spoon in the food and brought it
towards my mouth, I faced away.
Him: Eat.
Me:"I said I am not hungry!"
I might have been afraid for my life but I still had courage for myself
Him: U better eat or I'll force u to.
I faced aside still. He roughly pulled my face so I could face him and he forced the
spoon in my mouth. As soon as the spoon went out my mouth I spat out the food straight
at his face.
Him:Damn are u crazy!!?
He gave me a hot slap across my face.
Him: Nxa..suit urself.
He picked the plate and made his way out of the room. My cheek was hot but the pain
wasn't compared to the darkness that was inside of me. I felt like an empty hole but I
didn't lose hope. 30 minutes later I heard the door unlocking again and saw Luvu and
that stupid guy of his.
The guy: She wont eat boss. She jus spits it out on my face....
Luvu came to me holding the tray of food and took a good look a me..
Luvu: Wait... Why is her cheek red?
The guy: Err....She spat on me boss. I lost it.
Luvu:*chuckle* U lost it. Hehehe...
He put down the tray and all of a sudden he punched him so hard that the guy even fell
on the floor.
Luvu: Let me make this clear. U have absolutely no right, No right!! to fucken touch
her!!!! Understood.
The guy was moaning with pain. His nose looked broken.
Luvu: Understood!!!!?
The guy: Ye..s bos.s ahh....
Luvu: Now disappear from my sight before I do much more damage to u.....
The poor guy got up from the floor and went out. Luvu was now scaring me. I never
knew this side of him. He terrifies me. He faced me and sat down on a damaged chair
before me...
Luvu: How are u?
Me:"I uhm. Okay..."
I didn't feel like responding but I might never know what he'd do if I dont.
Luvu: Yaz Lebo. Be ndingayi funi yonke lento. (I didn't want all this).
I kept quiet.
Luvu: Its jus that, u know about my plan.
He dug in the spoon and brought it towards me, I didn't feel like eating but I had to,
theres a monster before me. I opened my mouth and ate the food.
Luvu: Ndiyak'thanda yeva (I love u)....
I still kept silent.
Luvu: Lebo talk to me.
Me:"Uhm...I....I know u love me".
He dug in the plate and fed me again which I chewed and swallowed hard.
Luvu: Be a good girl and in the end, we'll both be happy.Okay?
I nodded and he continued feeding me. When the plate was done he put it down and
looked at me deep in the eyes. He came closer to me and honestly I was so afraid of him
now. I felt sweat rush through me. He leaned closer for a kiss. As he was about to kiss
me the door opened and it was the same guy who slapped me and he now had a plaster
across his nose.
The guy: Ohh Im sorry.
Luvu looked aside with his jaw tightened.
Luvu: What is it Javas?
Javas: Uhhm. I jus came to tell u that Big Boss is here
Luvu: What!!?
Javas looked aside.
Luvu: Shit we need to get her out of here!!
Javas: Huh?
Luvu: He must not see her. We have to get her away from here.
Javas: But where do boss?
Luvu: My apartment....
He went down, took out a pocket knife and untied my legs. Did he mean Mr Shezi? God
no I pray I don't get away from here. He has to see me.
Luvu: Get up.
Me:" No Im not going anywhere. "
Luvu: Lebo!
Me:"Noo."
He held me up and I stood up.
Me:"Im not going anywhere."
Luvu: Hold her.
Javas came and held me. But I was fighting him off. Literally I was kicking him.
Javas: Boss shes feisty...
Me:"Somebody help me!!!!!"
Luvu: Shut up.
I didn't listen. All I wanted was to be rescued. I carried on screaming for help.
Javas: Boss....
Luvu looked at me then walked out. I continued trying to free myself from the Javas guy
but he was way too strong. Luvu came back after a minute with something that looked
like an injection.
Luvu: Hold her still.
Javas: Boss is that the fusion?
Luvu: I overdosed it so she'll pass out, hold her still.
Me:"What no...! Help!!!!!"
Javas tripped my legs and I fell on the ground then Luvu sat on my legs....
Me:"Luvu please don't"
Luvu: Sorry for this.
He held a section of my arms and shot in the injection.
Me:"Nooo....!"
I suddenly felt a light feeling. I felt like I was flying away. I felt numb and was without a
certain strength of anything. My vision became white and the rest waa history. I passed
out........
.
.
.
INSERT 53......
#Sandile
They still kept their looks at me. Achie was about to stand up and Naledi, his all time
girlfriend stopped him. They jus kept stares at me, like a ghost stood before them. It was
Rodney with some girl I assumed was his girlfriend,kaybee and a girl that I'd see
sometimes come to visit Nokthula, I think her name was Olwethu,then Achie and
Naledi. I kinna felt uncomfortable being around knowing what I had done to Achie and
Naledi. I remember calling her a slut in front of people all coz I tried my lucks with her
and she denied me. And I remember how I shooted at Achies car jus coz I felt jealous
about them. I had done them wrong. All of them.
Kaybee: How may we help u?
Siya: Errm guys, I jus saw him alone at the bar drinking up and so I thought that maybe
he should join us.
Achie: We now chill 'Top Rollers', we dumpsters we dont chill with fancy faces.
He stood up.
Siya: Yo Achie whats ur prob man. I thought we lived by the saying once a
brother,always a brother?
Achie: That all faded the moment this nigga almost blew our brains up?
Me:" I was drunk"
Kaybee: Like we care
Olwethu: Baby ....
Kaybee raised his hands in a way that he signalled to her that his sorry.
Achie: Ekse vaya (Go)
Siya: Ahh mfeto
Achie: Hey! Ofcos u'll stand for him coz u worming urself in with the Shezi fam. U
work for his father and u dating his sister. U'll jump the chance to lick his feet. Stay with
ur person!
Nokthula: Leave my family and I out of this!!!
Naledi: Guys this is getting out of hand.
Nokthula: Shut up!!
Naledi: Hey....
Rodney: Okay my girl and I are leaving this is wack.
Kaybee: See his already parting us.
Me:"Okay stop it!!!!"
All their attention was on me.
Me:" Firstly, im sorry for disrupting ur peace, it wasn't my intentions. Secondly..... U
know that I ...was an alcohol addict. I The only reason I used to drink much was coz I
wanted to release my stress away. Every situation had difficult on me. Sleepless nights,
all that hit me wrong. And u guys were there to somehow help me endure my pain. I
hated that. I hated to see yall happy while im not. I hated to see yal go far while I wasn't.
All becoz I was vulnerable. I might be rich but I have alot of scars in me. Me hurting the
only niggas that had been with me since day one being one of my scars. I'll never forgive
myself for what I used to do to yall. I hope that one day u'll find it in ur hearts to forgive
me. Uhm thanks"
I turned around and was about to walk. On my 5th step, I was stopped.
Olwethu: Wait.......
I turned around....
Olwethu: Guys. Two wrongs dont make right isn't it? He made mistakes and now
regrets them. The least u could do is to forgive him and forget about all that.
Achie: Olwethu u weren't there.
Olwethu: I know ...but having my brothers psycological problems, him killing people
like changing clothes, then beat me up when he isn't in the best space and I forgive him.
Guys please......
They looked at each other.
Achie: Alright fine. One flop and u deleted.
Me:"Thank u guys"
They made space for me and I settled down. We ordered, well I ofcos ordered ciders and
we started talking. We made jokes and laughed out. I really missed my niggas. All the
days I had with them. I felt comfort. One think I know for sure, I was slowly changing
out of the horrible person I was.......
.
.
.
#Rethabile....
I opened my heavy eyes to view where I was exactly. My body felt weak and without
power and had a banging hunger strike. I took a look around and noticed that I'm at
Luvu's bedroom. How I got her I have no idea. The only thing I remember is me being
captured by Luvu at a scary place. I was starting to think that was also a dream . I tried
getting up but my arms wouldnt move. I looked at them and they were tied to the bed.
So it wasn't a dream.Luvu had captured me. He has kidnapped me. But why?
Me:"Hello!!!"
No response
Me:"Can somebody help me!!?
Still no response.
Me:"Can somebody hear me!!!!"
Suddenly the door handle was moving and the door opened and Luvu walked in .
Luvu: Ohh u awake.
Me:"Luvuyo whats all this? Cant all this stop? "
Luvu: hMmm thats my call to make.
He came closer to me.
Luvu: U not going anywhere until my plan succeeds. I don't want anything to ruin my
plan.
Me:" Why? "
He took a deep breath then sat down on the bed.
Luvu: Leme tell u a story. U see, my mother was a maid at that Mr Shezi's house. He
had hots for her but she didn't want him. My mother was madly in love with her husband
who was his guard. One day he sent him away then took a chance to rape her. She fell
pregnant and gave birth. She had told him about the pregnancy but he forced her to shut
up about it. He tortured her and her family. One day he killed the husband, right infront
of him then took his son,raised him in torture. Im talking about making him sleep in the
basement and give him garbage food. Teach him how to kill,introduced him in his
businesses and made him what he is today. It was hard. Now all I want is pay back all
the pain he had caused my family. I wanna start with his money and cash,then his family
then him. I wanna make the bastard pay!!!!!!!
I freaked.
Me:" Wh....what about ur health ?"
Luvu: Lets leave my health outta this!!!!
Me: "Luvu u need help"
Luvu: I am fine!!!!!
Me:"Why are u shouting? "
Luvu: I ain't- Arg! !!!!! U driving me nuts.
He walked around the room like a maniac. Holding his head shaking it like he was
hearing voices.
I on the other hand was feeling funny. I was getting sweaty and was vibrating
uncontrollibly. I don't know what was going on with my body but I felt like I was on
fire. My head was like table mountain fallen on it. I really felt hot. I cant describe it.
Luvuyo stopped and took a stare at me.
Me:"Luv''''' What is going on with me? "
Luvu: Ohh shit the fusion is having after effects on u.
Me:"The what? "
Luvu: I .....injected u with the drug. Stay here, I'll back.
He ran out the room. What I was feeling was out of the universe. My skin was
crawling,everything was confusing. What did Luvuyo do to me?
.
.
.

INSERT 54......
#Sandile...
Spending time with my old friends was really a great moment. They were still the same
old funny dudes I knew from my first year in university. I couldn't stop laughing.
Kaybee: So wheres ur chick?
Rodney: Yea yea whats her name again....Roxy?
Achie: Hehe the African darkie
They laughed.... That topic was now sensitive to me. My mood changed instantly....
Me:"Uhh well.....shes no more? "
Nokthula: Shes dead??
She kinna said that in an exciting way
Me:"Noo"
They laughed
Nokthula: Then what do u mean no more?
Me:"We.....broke up"
Them: Ohhh....
They looked aside.
Olwethu: Im sorry.
Kaybee: What? no dude to keep it 100 with u, the girl was a bitch she wasn't for u man.
Achie: Straight up.
Siya: Yea...Imma get more drinks ayt?
He stood up and walked over to the bar.
Kaybee: Wheres that cuzin of urs?
Me:"Which cuzin?"
Rodney: Yea ur other friend babe.
Tanya: U mean Lebz?
Rodney: Yea her.
Nokthula: Well I left her at home. Shes at home right?
Me:"Uhh I actually thought that she was with u. She left the house. Its been two days
now"
Nokthula: What? thats unlike her.
Kaybee: Err....we all know where she is right?
They looked at each other.....
Rodney:Oohh hes getting it alright...
Kaybee: Hehehe his a wild one would she handle him?
Achie: Who's the girl?
Kaybee: Some girl from Limpopo whos their relative. Shes dating Vuyo
Achie: Ohh wow
Me:"Enlighten me"
Kaybee: They be getting it on
Arg that almost made me sick. Thinking of that poor sweet girl sleeping with that psyco.
Arg I wonder what she sees in him. In due time she'll see what an abuser he is. Im jus
hoping its sooner....
Siya came back to the table with the drinks and looked at me. I gave him the "what"
look.
Siya: Uhm Snyder.....Can we talk for a sec?
Me:"No prob"
I wondered what is it that he wanted to talk to me about. He looked really disturbed. I
stood up and we went over to a corner some where in the club.
Me:"So...whats up?"
Siya: William is here
Me:"William....my fathers worker. The one who got replaced by Luvu?"
He nodded
Me:"Ow...Kay"
Siya: He wants to talk to u. It seems serious.
Me:"Me?why me? "
He shrugged his shoulders.
Siya: Hes at the bar...
He walked back to the table. I walked over to the bar and saw William sitted and
drinking some whiskey. I went over to him.
Me:"sure"
He sipped on his whiskey
William: Hi
Me:"So....why am I here..."
William: I have something important to tell u. At tnis level I dont trust anyone.
I looked at him waiting for him to continue saying what he wanna tell me.
William: This whole divorce thing I think it was all a set up.
Me:"Between the maid and the wife? "
William: Yes but what motive do they have?
Me:"Cash ofcos"
William: Theres more to that.
Me:"Meaning..."
William: I had been following on the maid and the wife. I think the Luvuyo guy is
behind this.
Me:"What? Look I know u...haven't handled the situation of dad replacing u with the
guy but involving me in ur dodgy things ey"
William: Don't u wanna help ur father?
Me:"pss that guy"
He looked at me
Me:"What actually makes u think that his behind this?"
William: I followed the maid and she had been meeting up with him. I did some digging
and turns out shes one of the mules in the business...
I opened my eyes widely.
William: Yes .... So its obvious that they work together....
Me:"So....Luvuyo planned all this?"
William: Seems like that. But my gut tells me that this isn't the only massacre he'll
cause.
Me:"What would be reason for him to do so...?"
William: Thats where u come in. Propose a business proposal to him to join the business
and from there get closer to him.... Maybe his girlfriend can help u...
Now that was another thing. If Luvu has an agenda somewhere, isn't Lebo also
endangered? Or could she be involved? Sooner or later she has to realise being with that
guy is a mistake.
William: U the only choice. Please....take this chance....
Me:"I'll see what I can do"
I stood up.
William: Ohh and one more thing....Ur father had a seizure. His in hospital ....
Me:"Ohh...uh....thanks...".
William: I'll text u what u need to know...
Me:"Cool"
I walked away. Ofcos hearing my father is ill didn't tremble me. I never really liked him.
So him being sick doesnt bother me at all. I went back to the guys but the feeling was
itching me. Why would Luvuyo plan to sabotage us?Who is involved? Why? I couldnt
shake the feeling off. I wasn't even focused on the convo with the guys. I decided that I
should find out. I couldn't handle the itching suspicion in me. I bid the guys goodbye,
asked for Luvu's address and left.
I couldn't hold in what I wanted to know... Maybe even save Lebo from this Disaster-to-
be relationship.......
.
.
#RETHABILE
My self being was getting on another level. My body was so hot and so weak,my head
felt funny, I was even smelling an unusual smell around my armpits. The bed was damp
with my sweat. And no matter how worse I seemed to become, Luvu didn't mind it at all.
He jus keeps bringing me milk. My tongue was also as dry as concrete. How cruel is
that? God why am I suffering like this? What did I ever do wrong? My attempts in love
always leave me devastated. Why cant I also get a chance in that unconditional love that
people get as well? Aren't I suppose to be happy? Now im out here feeling like my
body's about be separated by my soul. Tied like a dog towards the bed. All because of
someone I claimed to love. Ohh why? ..... Luvuyo came in and he looked at me....
Me:"Lu...Luvuyo please....I need a doctor...please....I need to go to the hospita.....please"
Luvu:Oh no baby u'll be fine . U not dying so theres no need.
Me:"Why are u doing this. Why are u cruel? I thought u loved me."
He walked up to the bed and got on it,then hugged his arm around my waist while he
was kissing on my cheek.
Luvu:"Baby....I love u. I don't want to lose u over silly things. I need u in my life."
He then held my right side of the waist and sunk his nails in my skin. He was hurting me
dearly. I couldn't even shout out the pain...
Luvu: Jus that I dont like it when people take me for granted.
I cried....then he stopped and wiped my tears.
Luvu: Don't cry. When all of this ends,ur dear father in law will get what he deserves
and I'll have all his cash. Then u and I? We'll go away together and start all over....
He then hugged me tight. This guy was really a psyco. My skin was crawling jus for that
he was touching me. He was holding me tight like a teddy bear with my hands tied on
two corners of the bed. God I pray for a miracle to happen......
Suddenly a ringing sound was ringing from downstairs. I think it was the intercom.
Luvu: Arrg whos that now.... Im coming Ree.....
Ree is what Luvu calls me when his in his honeymoon zone....
The moment he went out I cried my lungs out. I couldnt handle the pain in me. I had to
let it out....
A minute after he left he walked in looking rathet disturbed. He was pacing up and down
with his hands on his head.
Luvu: Uh uh.... He stopped and came closer to the bed.
Luvu: What the fuck is ur Husband doing here!!!???
What? Sandile is here? Ohh glory.
Luvu: I asked u a question dammit!!!!
Me:"Luvuyo I don't know anything please let me go."
Luvu: U think ur smart? smarter than Me? Luvuyo ----.... Luvuyo ---....he thought for a
moment. Wow its really serious. He doesn't even remember his surname.
Luvu: Hai... No... I can't let u get away with this.....
He walked over to his drawer and fiddled around looking for something. He finally took
out an injection.
Me:"Luvu please don't....please..."
He didn't listen. He injected it in a certain small bottle and took in the chemical then
came to me. I tried fighting it but what can one do when tied? He got hold of a section in
my arm and the needle got in my skin.
Me:"Noo....noo"
I felt the feeling I felt slowly drift away. My tongue felt wet and my body was jus
confusing. My head was on another level. I felt like flying away. All I saw was white
clouds. Eventually I shut down.....
.
.
.
#SANDILE
Ive been pressing the intercom button for around 4 minutes now outside the gate. The
guard wont let me in,it would have to take that guy to open from the inside. I don't know
if im in the right place or if iam requesting in the right apartment. I then gave up. As I
was about to drive backwards,the intercom was responded
"Yes? "
Me: Uhh Am I talking to Luvuyo?
"What do u want soft boy? "
Me: Jus open.
"I asked u a question!"
Me: I have a business proposal.
"Ohh"
Me: Jus open up would u?
The intercom was switched and in a minute, the gate opened and I drove in then parked.
I got out and browsed for the correct apartment and found it. I knocked and he opened....
Me:"What took u so long? "
Luvu: I was.....busy
Me:" Ohh"
Luvu: Why are u here?
Me:"Can I come in? "
I passed him
Luvu: U already in.....
I ran my eyes around for any sign of Lebo in the flar but the place was as clear as a poor
man's bank account. None ...
Me:" Where is uhh Lebo? .."
Luvu: Is that what u here for?
Me:"Uhm no. uhm I want in in the business"
He looked at me
Me:"Dad is down. His seizure issues again. So I wanna involve myself in this iish...."
He chuckled
Luvu: Woah.. .. What is it that u know about the drug business?
Me:"Thats where u come in"
Luvu: Im not convinced.
Me:"John Mann, the drug lord of the 'Tik' drug has been rich these days. He has Moved
over to Eastern Cape. Rumors are that he has been shipping to Europe. If we can find out
who the buyer is,propose to him the fusion and get him on board, imagine all that cash.
Plus the branch in China had been caught so its shut down...
He looked at me....
Luvu: I like ur thinking.
Me:"So ...are we game? "
Luvu: I'll give it a thought. I don't trust u though
Me:"Lets forget all that. I jus found out that Roxy was cheating on me today so we
even"
He smiled a lil...
Me:"Uhh.... can I....speak to uhm Lebo?"
Luvu: Okay now u pushing it. Shes asleep.
I checked the time.
Me:"At 7 in the evening? So unlike her"
Luvu: Yea well she is u can't see her ...
Me:"Thanks"
I walked up the stairs
Luvu:Heyy are u crazy? u can't jus come into my apartment and do what u like!!!!!
I ignored the nigga and continued walking. I saw a closed door and opened it then went
inside the room. My eyes ran across the bed and I saw her. Indeed she was asleep. I can't
describe how she was. She looked abit terrible. She was jus pale. worse thing,she was
shirtless and covered in the sheet. Im guessin I actually disturbed their session when I
came here
Luvu: See... I told u shes asleep. Next time u'll bring urself in kanti si busy.
Me:"Askies. I jus wanted to apologise to her about what I did to her"
Luvu:Ohh
Me:"please pass the message when she wakes up"
I looked at her one last time. He wrists looked red. I wondered why. Then I saw a robe
on the floor peeking from under the bed. Euw.. I know that move. I never knew Lebo
was into all that. I guess she has really become a jozi hood rat. I couldnt handle it
anymore and went out.
Me:"We'll talk"
Luvu: Yea whatever leave.
I took a glance at the apartment and got out. Got in my car and drove back home.......
.
.
.

INSERT 55.......
#RETHABILE
I slowly became conscious feeling rather funny again. The good thing here was that I
was untied, although my wrists were indescribable, but one thing confused me. I was
half naked. I don't remember me taking off my clothes. And I don't remember being
released. Did I? No I don't remember anything. All I remember is Luvu injecting me.
Ohh no. The guy took advantage of me. God why?? He first holds mr hostage then
deflowers me while im in an incorrect state. What happend to the guy that drove me to
his place and let me sleep on his bed while he settled for the couch? Why would he do
that? Whos the monster that he has turned into? Now I felt used and weak. I felt dirty. I
found his shirt on the floor and wore it then walked out. My walk wasn't proper. My legs
were weak. This side my heart was sinking in pain. The tears jus flooded down on my
face. I slowly walked downstairs where I heard Luvu singing. I made my way to the
kitchen. I looked at him as he was making a sandwich for himself. How I turned to hate
him. He continued making his sandwich until he acknowledged my presence.
Luvu: Ohh u awake my Ree. Want a sandwich?....
I jus looked at him
Luvu: Ohh that shirt looks sexy on u hey. U got a beautiful body there.....
I looked at him still...I hated his good mood. How can a person be in a good mood
because of taking advantage of someone else?
Luvu: U don't look okay....Huh?
Me:"Why Luvu? Why!!?"
Luvu:Why what?
Me: "Why take advantage of me? Why!!!!"
I broke down. U don't know how hard it is to think u were taken advantage of. The dirt u
feel in u...
Instead, he jus laughed......
Luvu: Hahahahahaha woah...I get the fact that u think im mentally unstable but that?
He continued laughing....
Luvu: I wouldn't do that. Im not like ur typical father in law who rapes innocent wives.
Hahaha...u should see ur face right now....
I looked at him. Maybe his right. Aren't I suppose to feel pains in my private area if it
happend? and I saw no sign of blood around the bed so his right. But his still a bitch....
Me:"I hate u Luvuyo!!!! I hate u!!"
Instantly his mood changed and the next thing I knew his hands were squeezing the life
out of me on my throat. I couldn't breathe. He held my neck with both his hands and
they were tight. Air wasn't enough ....
Luvu: Never....ever....say that to me! U hear me?!!!!!!
I was gasping for air. He was killing me
Luvu: U hear me!!!!!!!
Me:"Ggghhh ye..s... gngh Luvu....u gghkillin me"
Luvu: Say that again and I'll kill u straight up then kill myself....
He let go of me and I fell down trying to catch my breath.
Luvu: AAAAHHHH!!!!!!
He punched the wall. Is this guy insane?
Luvu: Now look what u made me do!!!!!
I jus kept quiet not knowing what is to become of me.
Luvu: Fuck Relebogile I love u!!!! cant u see that? !!!! we are meant to be together!!!!!!
Get up and go to bath.
I jus remained in that position crying.
Luvu: Get up!!!!!ahhhhh
I quickly did as he said and immediately took a shower. I wondered where I got this guy.
Hes jus a loose screw. I took a long and well deserved cold shower and got out of the
bathroom. I went back to the bedroom where I found a neat short red dress laid on the
bed. It was beautiful. I lotioned myself and got dressed. I noticed my eyes were turning
yellow on the white side. I dont know what that means but it didn't seem like a good
thing. As well as the red marks on my neck...... I went downstairs and found Luvu
drinking liquor. As I walked in he looked at me with pitiful eyes. I sat down on the
couch opposite his and looked down.
Luvu: I don't like us being like this.
I kept quiet
Luvu: Say something
Me:"Im scared of u"
He looked aside
Luvu: Im trying to be what u want. What u need.
I looked aside
Luvu: Do u love me?
I kept quiet. I didn't know what to say. Ive grown to hate him. But knowing that if I don't
tell him I do, he might attack me.
Me:"Uhm yes"
Luvu: I do too ....so much. I want to spend my whole life with u...
I don't know where this is going and I dont think im liking it.
Luvu: Lebo....Marry me.
Me:"What!?"
Luvu: Marry me and we'll start our own lives together. We'll get away from here and
start our own family....
He knelt before me and held my waist.
Luvu: Say yes. .. .Say yes.
Me: No I can't.
He suddenly pulled my hair.
Me:"Aoww!!"
He kept holding me tight.
Luvu: Say yes!!!!
I was trying to remove his hands from me. One was pulling my hair and the other was
holding on my waist hard. I saw the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. I tried to reach
it and I got hold of it. Within a second I hit him with it and he fell down and screamed
with pain.
Luvu:Ahhh....
I quickly got up and tried running. This is my only chance. I got up from the couch but I
felt a hand hold my leg and I fell
Luvu: U not leaving me!!!
My body is still weak inside. Iam never gonna get out of this....
.
.
.
#SANDILE
I got up the next day with thoughts of Lebo infiltrating me. Usually I wouldn't feel
anything, but this, it somehow got to me. I felt like hating her. I don't know but I kinna
have feelings for her. She challenges me, puts me in my place, lets me insult her when I
feel like it. Shes like a force attraction. I always hurt her coz I was afraid of the feelings I
had for her. I tried avoiding them, making me hate her. What was worse is knowing that
shes dating Vuyo. And now its real. Shes just a wife to me now..... I was doing my
usually thing, watching Tv drinking Heinekin and eating a piece of fudge. There was a
knock on the door. Im kind of hoping its her. The kind of atmosphere she brings is so
indescribable.
The door then jus opened and guess who walked in.....The hoe. She walked up to the
lounge and stood in front of me dressed in a short that was jus under her butt and a crop
tee revealing that belly ring of hers that I liked.
Me:"Ufunani la wena Roxanne(what do u want here? )...The guards werent even
suppose to let u in....."
Roxy: I wanna talk.
Me:" U have a minute"
Roxy: Listen I still love u.
Me:"Aren't u suppose to be saying that to Tshepo?"
Roxy:Gosh Sny im trynna give u a chance here!
I stood up instantly
Me:"Give me a chance???!! Roxy uyiskhenskhe ( u a hoe)". First u cheat on Luvuyo
with me then cheat on me with Tshepo then u have the guts to say u giving me a fucking
chance?"
Roxy: I still want u
Me:"Okay. Can u leave? "
Roxy:Sandile I love u.
Me:"Tell me this? Why did u cheat on Luvuyo? And why did u cheat on me?"
Roxy: I had to cheat on Luvuyo. He was a terrible person. Do u know what he used to
do? Sandile he'd strangle me then buy me chocolate. He would beat me up and
sometimes drug me. He killed each and every guy that seemed to have a relationship
with me. He even used to tie me up on the bed coz he didn't want me going home. It was
horrible but then I met u. The most sweetest guy I've known and I fell for u. I knew he
wouldn't kill his bosse's child so I went after u.
I looked at her. I don't know why but I was finding it hard to believe her. These joburg
hoes ain't loyal.
Me:"Ohh okay .....and me? Why did u cheat on me?"
She bit her lip and looked aside. Exactly what she does when someone catches her
tongue.
Me:"Yazin. Phuma. (get out)"
Roxy: Sandile plea-
Me:"I said get out Roxanne!!! I don't need u in my life"
Roxy: Mxm fine!!
She walked over to the door.
Roxy: But I wont give up.
Me:"Roxy leave..."
She opened the door and got out. I threw myself on the couch and went back to drinking
my beer. The bitch is probably lying. I know the guy is creepy but it wouldn't get that
far. I doubt. Him drugging her and tying her against the bed. Those are jus tales. I went
back to my match. Trust Barcelona with making ur day........
Suddenly something struck to my mind..... Wait.....there was a rope that was hidden
under the bed, Lebos wrists were red, on her arm there was a small spot and she looked
pale, like a druggie. I stood up Immediately.....The nigga be torturing the girl!!!!!How
did I not see this...I quickly got my car keys and ran out to my car. I needed to do
ssomething before he damages her.......
.
.
.

INSERT 56......
#RELEBOGILE
I didn't know what to do. Luvu had tripped my foot, I fell down and hit the bottle of
Hennessey that fell on the ground then injured my knee. The pain I was feeling was so
much I couldn't even fight it. I was down and out. My body felt like a dead bird. My 2-
second wings were cut off. My legs wont be able to carry me out. Luvu then slowly
crawled to me and turned my body around to face him while I was moaning of pain. I
had already notice blood flood out my knee.
Luvu: YOU BITCH!!!!
He slapped me across my face
Me:"Ahhh" I cried of pain.
Luvu: U don't love me. U don't love me after all that I have committed to u!!!!!!.
He steadily stood up, Hennessey together with the hit I gave him on the head were
making him act like oil. He looked hurt and weak but had power. What is he?
Luvu: I loved u!!!! and u wanna fucking kill me.!!!!
He started kicking my body. The pain?? Ohh God. He was kicking me without any
mercy. My organs felt like falling out. I cried in a way that I've never cried in my life.
Me:"Luvu.....ahhh u hurting me. Luvu please stop!!"
He wasn't listening to me. The more I cried,the more his power increased. He wad
kicking my tummy,with his red and blue airmax. He kicked my stomach hard, blood was
already drooping out my mouth....
Luvu: I offered u marriage!!!!! and u fucking wanna kill me....
Me:"Wait....wait Luvu please.....I'll marry u. What ever u want. U are killing me please"
Suddenly he stopped. I continued crying and turn my tummy to the floor. Hurt I was.
My tummy felt hot.
Luvu: What?.. U ....u will....
I tried catching my breath
Me:"Yes.....ye....."
Luvu: W...wow!!! Oh my God.
He turned me around and helped me up.
Luvu: U said u'll marry me.....
Me:"Yes....I will"
He suddenly smiled. The ecstasy in this guy's face was priceless. I couldn't understand
why would he force a person to marry him. His hands went for me and he hugged me
tightly, hurting me more.
Luvu: Hahaha. Ndiyabulela (thank u) Ohh babe..
I couldnt say anything. All that occured in me was my tears.
Suddenly there was a ring of the Intercom, but he ignored and and continued hugging
me. I swear my rip cage was cracked up.
The intercom went on and he finally got irritated and broke the long hug. Funny enough,
he didn't acknowledge my pain nor the flood of my blood on the floor.
Luvu: Arrg who is it now!....Wait here baby, im coming jus now
... He kissed my forehead and stood up to go and attend it. Is he for real? I relaxed my
body on the couch crying. My tears have now become my daily bread. Where are my
ancestors when I need them? Are they mad at me for the fact that I have a relationship
outside my marriage? is that why I wont get peace? It doesn't make sense. Now I have
jus agreed on getting married to the worst lover on earth. Why wont anyone come rescue
me?
Luvu came back into the sitting room with his mood changed. I have grown to know that
when he does that face, its trouble in one mile. He paced up and down a few times.
Luvu:Uh-uh!!!! I wont let ur shitty husband to take away my opportunity. No!!! No.....
He stopped and looked at me.
Luvu:What did u do to tell him! !? huh?
Me:"I...I don't kno-"
He suddenly took out a gun from under the coffee table and pointed it on my head ....
Luvu: Who told him that I have u against ur will!!!!!? I..I don't have u against ur will
babe u love me...
Me:"gghLuvu.... stoptth. . thhhis,u are crasszy!!"
My throat was dry, I couldn't even say the right words
He let go and looked at me
Luvu: U have feelings for him!! U- ....
the Intercom rang again and he looked at its side, then back at me.
Luvu: No. I wont let him take u away from me.
He stood me up and pulled me to walk with him,hurting my leg. He pulled me to the
door and opened it then checked the coast. He noticed Sandile's Mustang outside the
gate since his apartment was high. He than ran,pulling me with my arm. I was limping
and he was speeding, maybe I have a chance of escape. I let go of my arm from his hand
then immediately turned the other way to run for it but I lost my balance and fell. He
came after me fast and picked me up. I fought with his hands and he picked me and
carried me on his shoulder then walked. I punched him several times on his back but he
didn't stop, he jus continued walking down the stairs. After the stairs he walked to the
parking lot and got to his car, unlocked it and opened the backseat and put me inside. He
immediately closed it and got inside too, he put his gun on the front passenger seat.
Thats when my crying got seized and I kept silent. He started the car and drove out the
parking lot to the gate. Sandile was standing at the gate with his car aside.
Luvu: Bloody pig....
When he got closer, he opened the gate with his remote, but Sandile never moved away
from the drive way. Luvu slowed down the car and gave Sandile a dead stare. He better
not do what I think he wants to do.
Luvu: This one's for u babe....
He stepped on the car with full speed it drove to Sandile.
Me:"Noooo!!!!!"
I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see this. He cant crash Sandile, No.... I opened my
eyes to see the results but we were already on the road. I lifted my head up to see
backwards but couldn't see him. He crashed him....
Me:"Nooooo!!!!!!!!! why did u do that!!!!!?"
He kept quiet and kept on driving...
Me:"I hate u!!!!U a monster!!!!"
Luvu: Yey!!Yey Lebo ndizakubulala!!!!! Hai man (I'll kill u)
I sensed sadness in his voice. He was at the verge of crying. I couldn't care. This guy
costs me pain. The speed of the car was another thing. It was racing across the street,so
fast.....
Me:"Yes.... I hate u!"
Luvu: Aaahhh!!!
He increased the speed and we were now on a round on a certain mountain. The road
was risky but had lining where the cliff was cut.
Me:"Luvu u a monster!!!!!! "
He screamed and grabbed hold off his gun and faced it my direction.
Luvu:Lebo U!!!!!!
Suddenly, a loud Boooom happend. Then lights out........
.
.
.

INSERT 57.....
#SANDILE.....
I don't know what got to me. This Vuyo guy had pushed me too far. After what I
concluded that he is torturing the poor girl. On top of that he attempts to crash over me. I
had jump over to the other side but I hurt my arm. I followed his car as fast as I can jus
so I could. I already felt my temper rising to a point where I'd actually murder someone.
I couldn't let him get away with this. Its about time somebody curbed his craziness. I
saw his car driving on a road that led to the mountain far from the city, I took the other
road parallel to the one he took. As my car got closer to his, I turned my car to the
middle of these two roads and crashed his car. The car got hit and flipped up until it was
upside down. I got out my car to take a clearer view of this. It hit me that Pumpkin was
in it.
Me:"Shit!"
I ran up to it and kneeled to see where she was. She was lying there full of blood and
motioness. What did I do? Why does my anger always hurt others??.....I sneaked my
hand in the car and opened the door and slowly took her in my arms. I heard Vuyo
groaning of pain in the front seat.
Luvuyo:uuuuah...Don....she....min..
I jus looked at him and crawled out of the car. I carried her in my arms and laid her on
the ground a few meters away from the car....
Me:"Pumpkin....Pumpkin..... wake up. Please.....wake up... Don't do this..."
I tried to wake her up by hitting her cheeks. She finally responded and opened her eyes
abit.
Lebo:Huh.....am .....am I safe? am I in heaven....
I chuckled alil.
Me:"No..."
Lebo:Wh...who....S...Sandile ....u...u saved me.
She tried getting up.
Me:"Hey easy.... Yea ..I did.."
She moved her eyes to the car..
Lebo: Luvu....Hes gonna come out for me.
Me:"No his in there"
Lebo:No....lets go. Lets go. His gonna kill me.
Me:"No his no-"
"BOOOOM!!"
Suddenly,Luvu's car blew up.
Lebo:W...wha
She passed out.
Me:"No... pumpkin please wake up. Gawd!"
I pickef her up and carried her to my car then put her in the backseat. I looked at the
bombed car. I guess thats the last we'd ever hear of Luvuyo. The nigga was down for
good. I got in my car and drove up to the hospital speeding up like crazy. This girl
looked much damaged, I don't think my crashing did half of it. Luvuyo must've hurt her.
I drove faster till I got to the hospital. I immediately went out and took her out of the
backseat and carried her inside....
Me:"Somebody please help her!!!"
The moment the nurses saw me they ran up to me. The other came with a hospital bed
and I laid her on it.
Nurse 1: What happend?
Me:"She.. ...she had an accident"
Nurse 2: She looks weak. We need to take her to theatre before she leaves us.
Nurse 1:Get the doctor. She needs surgery.
Me:"What!!? Why? She is still young. Shes 17"
Nurse 3:Mr please stay here, u not allowed in theatre.
Me:"No I need to ensure that shes safe"
Nurse 3: We understand. Calm down.
Me:"Shes my wife don't tell me to calm down!!!!!"
Okay....I don't know where that came from. I was jus scared for her life......
Nurse 1: Nurse please stay with him....
They went inside the room.
Nurse 2: Listen I know u concerned now but ur wife is in good hands okay?? ......
I calmed down alittle
Me:"Fine!...."
Nurse : For now u can go to the receptionist and administrate her.
Me:"Yea...."
I walked to the receptionist and she gave me the form. I filled it up and gave it back to
her. She looked at it and got astonished.
Her:U are Thee Sandile Shezi?..
Really now?
Me:"Yea..."
Her: Wow uhm...we honored to have u here.....
I looked at her.
Me:"Jus....take her of her"
Her:Yes yes. Shes in good hands.
I looked at her then walked to the bench to take my seat and held my head. I started
thinking if she was gonna make it. What was I thinking when I crashed into their car?
All I thought about was hurting the guy coz of how furious he made me. Gawd
something is wrong with me. I really hope Luvuyo is dead. The area is probably filled
with cops now, its risky going there. It might link to me that my car hit his,making it
look like attempted murder. Going to jail wasn't an option. Plus the assault case I have
last year, I might finally serve jail time for real. Pumpkin really has to make it. I
wouldn't forgive myself if she didn't. I stayed in that position for around 2 hours and the
Doctor came. I quickly stood up and walked to him...
Me:"How is she? "
Doc: Uhm u her husband?
Me:"Uhh yea...I mean no...yea...I mean-- How is she Doc?"
Doc: We managed to save her. But she is critical for now. Has a fee fractured bones, her
brain is also abit damaged as well as her tummy
Me:"Ohhh.....will she be okay?"
Doc: Time will tell. Shes unconscious for now.
Me:"Can I see her? "
Doc: Ofcos.
He lead the way and I followed. I saw her laying there peacefully. The doc excused
himself and I sat on the chair next to the bed.
Me:"Hey...pumpkin.....Its me. Please hold on. Bab'Mkhonto would kill me as well if u
die coz he strictly said I should protect u. The guy is scary.... Hehehe......
If u wake up, I promise I'll look after u and protect u at all times. U've made a change in
my life. Don't discard me......Make it....".....
.
.
.
.
.
.
#RELEBOGILE
I slowly gained conscious. A light beam hurt my eyes. I opened them wider and
recognized my environment. I seemed to be in a hospital. I looked aside and saw my
mother laying her head on the edge of the bed.
Me:"M...mama...."
My throat was dry....She looked up instantly....
Mom:Nana.....Ohh God.... Ishmael!!!!!!!!Doctor!!!!!!!
Me:"Mama....what am I doing here? "
Mom:Wait relax my baby..Nurse!!!!!!!..
The nurse walked in fast followed by my father and Mrs Shezi(sandiles mother)... The
nurse came to me and starting doing me some observings.
Me:"Im okay."
Mom: Ohh my baby. U scared me.
Me:"How long have I been here for? "
Mrs Shezi: 2 weeks now.
Dad: Are u okay?
Me:"Im good dad"
Dad: What happend?
Mom: Uh uh Lets not ask her questions. Let her get well first.
Mrs Shezi: Let me call Sandile and let him know shes awake.....
She excused herself....
Mom: Im glad u are fine. U know Ditebogo was all sick, but it was a sign that u were
endangered.. I shouldve listened to Madipila when she warned me. Now look. I
shouldve protected u.
Me:"Mama....mama im okay. Don't worry. "
She pulled a little smile.....
I continued talking to them until Sandile came in with his mom. I looked at him and
immediately remembered all that had happend. But how I got here and what happend to
Luvu, that quizzed me. Sandile: Uhm hi....
Me:"Uhm hi..."
Sandile: U look good.
Me:"Uh thanks"
He looked at me and we kept an eye contact.
Mrs Shezi: So....Christmas is in near. I'd really love it if we spend it all together.
Mom:We'd love to but hey, our baby is such a problem. We wouldn't last a day.
Mrs Shezi: Im sure a day wouldn't hurt.
Dad: We'll think about it.
Mrs Shezi: What about u sweety?
I snapped out of the eye contacting.
Me:"I...."
A doctor came in....
Doc: Hello everyone
Them; Hi.
Doc: How is our fellow patient?
Me:"Im.. .okay. I guess"
Doc: Good. uhm I have ur results here..... Well u....u doing good. Ur bones are healing.
Ur body is stronger, wounds are healing. Well u getting well....
Mom: Great news....
Doc: Yea .....only one problem...
Sandile:What is it....?
Doc: Uhh.....Ur ...He cleared his throat. U got hurt on ur tummy...
It hit me that Luvu was kicking me on my stomach.....
Mom:So....?
Doc: Uhhm....so...her womb is sacred. She...might be barren...

What!!?.....
.
.
.

INSERT 58.....
Mom: No...theres no way...
Doc: Uhm ....im afraid so mam
Dad: Hows that possible? I mean,shes still young, her reproductive system has not fully
developed, I know this coz im a life science teacher. Her ovaries are not 100%
adulterous....
Doc: Yes true but her womb, it has been through harsh contact. Usually happens when a
very strong force acts on it, making it weaken. In her case,the damage is severe. She
may fall pregnant, but wont carry full term....
Me:"Ohh uhm..."
Mom: Ohh my daughter....
My mom got emotional.
Me:"Mama its okay".....
Okay....this too me was really a shocker, but it didn't really shake me. What I was
grateful for was that im alive and Im not with that Lunatic guy Luvuyo. Even if I had to
pay a price of being barren, so be it. It was my fault anyway. I was the one to fall in love
with Luvu. I am the one to put myself in the deadline even after being warned by
Sandile. I brought this to myself. Im paying my price. Of what? I don't know..... While
silence was arousing the whole room, a policeman with one who I figured was a
detective came in.
Him: Hi.....
Doc: Hello detective
Him: Uhm hello everyone.
They greeted back.
Him: I see our patient is awake. Im detective Mashaba
Me:"Nice meeting u"
Mashaba: So....we'd like to take statements from u. Tell us what actually happend to u
....
Me:" Uhhhmmn....Uhhhhh"
I didn't know what to say or how to say it.
Sandile: Uhm without being rude detective I think its best that u leave her for today. She
jus woke up a few hours ago so its fair that u let her rest first.....
He gave Sandile a cold stare.
Mashaba: The sooner we continue, the better...
Doc: Hes right. She needs to rest.
Mashaba gave Sandile a nasty look.
Mashaba: Right....we'll be back...
He and his police man walked out, followed by the doctor.
Sandile: Uhhm can I....talk to her...alone....
They looked at each other. I was also confused.
Dad; Yes.. .yes ofcos....
One by one they walked out until it was jus the two of us. I looked at him and he looked
at me in my eyes. I don't know why but that attracts me ....
Sandile: Uhhm....u looking all better.
Me:"I wish I could say I am"
Sandile: Im sorry about that.
Me:"Its cool."
I looked at the hospital sheets.
Sandile: Uhm so...
Me:"Look....thank u for.. what u did"
Sandile: As long as u okay now.
Me:" What happend? All I remember was...-"
Sandile: Don't try to remember that day. Lets forget about it.
Me:"How did u....I thought he crashed u"
He looked at me .
Me:"Yes and then he pointed a...a gun on me "
Sandile:Listen u don't have to do this.
Me:"No wait.....I wasn't shot. We.. .we out of the blue had an accident. Wait...we were
crashed"
He looked aside. I looked at him.
Me:"Wait. ..it was ...."
Sandile: I...
Me:"What!!? Sandile u crashed the car? while I was inside!? I know u hate me but to try
and kill me! ?"
Sandile: Woah....I wasn't trying to kill u. I jus....had to stop him.
I couldn't believe it. Sandile actually attempted to murder me.
Sandile: Listen here pumpkin ...If I wanted to kill u. I wouldve left u in the car for u to
die. But I didn't. U are here because of me. So stop this murder nonsense!
Me: Firstly I have a name which is RELEBOGILE!! and secondly u don't have the right
to shout at me. I ain't buying it. u tried to kill me.
Sandile: Okay now im getting a little impatient with u.....
I looked at him.
Sandile: Yes....I crashed his car. Without the intention of killing u I wanted to save u. If
I didn't, u wouldn't be here....
I looked aside......
Sandile: Now listen here....... Fuck Rethabile Look at me!!
I slowly turned my head to face him.
Sandile: Now listen. Luvuyo is dead. The car bombed up. And the police can't find out
that he was crashed,its a bigger problem if it turns out that I'm the one who killed him. I
need u to tell the police that u were hit and ran over.
Me:"What!? No"
Sandile: Rethabile I can't go to jail.
Me:"And me lying to them will make me an accessory"
Sandile: I saved ur life...
That hit me.
Sandile: Yes in an unusual way but it saved u....
Maybe he was right.... I looked at him...
Me:"So hes dead? "
Sandile: Uhm yea. the car bombed up.
Me:"Bombed up? and u think that killed him? He could've escaped."
Sandile: The car blew up in front of u. Obviously he couldn't survive it.
Me:"Im not convinced..."
Sandile: Are u always like this?
Me:"Don't patronize me. "
Sandile: Stop being stubborn and do what I ask of u....
I looked aside... .
Sandile: Please. ...
The nurse came in.
Nurse: Im sorry but its time for her to rest.
Sandile: Can we have a few more minutes?
Me:"No we done"
He looked at me...
Nurse: Please leave sir.....
He looked at me still then started walking out but stopped at the door
Sandile: Think about it. Don't forget u still my....wife...
He walked out. Was the last statement necessary? Nxa typical guy. The nurse gave me
sleeping pills and I drifted off to sleep....
The next day I woke up and was helped with bathing and had breakfast. While I was
busy thinking about what had happend to me. Was Luvuyo really dead? Something in
me jus didn't seem convinced that he is. The guy is a monster and his dangerous. There
was no way a mere accident could kill him. Where to from here now? Ohh ...Christmas
and New years . Then from there, its matric results. Wow. My life really knows how to
take its turn. My thoughts got disturbed by a knock on the door. I looked over there and
it was the girls.
Tanya: Can we come in?
I nodded and they walked in.
Angie: We came to see how u doing .....
Me:"Well as u can see .... im terrible"
Nokthula: U'll be okay.....
Me:"Yea"
Tanya: U know u were really devastated the last time we came. U couldn't say anything.
Me:"Im glad that u came through for me..... Errr ..... Olwethu...Are u okay?"
Nokthula: Uhm havent u heard?
Me:"Heard what? "
Nokthula: Luvuyo is.....no more....
That certainly told me that Sandile had already told them the "hit and run" bull story.
Mxm such a coward.
Me:"Ohhh"
Olwethu: What do u mean "oh".... He was ur man. U shouldve been crying now.
Angie: Lwethu don't.
Olwethu: Noo...
Me:"Honestly.....I couldn't care less"
Olwethu: Excuse me?
Me:"He was a monster!"
She came closer to the bed with full force, but Tanya stopped her.
Olwethu: How dare u call him that!!!?
Nokthula: Guys this is not the right place for-
Olwethu: No Nokthula. She cant jus say that about my brother. its clear she despises
him. So u a pretender huh?
Tanya: Lwethu we know u hurting but-
Olwethu: Shut up Tanya
Me:"No u shut up Olwethu Geez!!!!"
She looked at me.
Me: That brother of urs tortured me. Okay .....He held me hostage...and tied me on the
bed like a tameless animal. He was a monster. He drugged me....
Nokthula: Ohh my God....U too....
I was already emotional.....
Me:"He beat me up. Like a dog. He wanted to kill me....and...."
I broke down and cried ....
Olwethu: Did....did he, tried to force u into marriage?
Me:"Yes! With a gun on my head"
Olwethu: Oh my Gosh.... She held her mouth...
Nokthula;So....all those girls were right
Olwethu: No she could be lying too.
Tanya: Lebz is our friend Lwethu she wouldn't lie.
Angie: We shouldve taken it more serious.
Nokthula: So....now it is proven..
Me:"Wait a minute.....u knew he was like this??"
They kept quiet....
Me:"U Guyz knew Luvuyo was insane and never told me!!!!!?"
Nokthula: Look we thought--
Me:"U thought what!!!? huh? That u put me in the cross fire to experiment on the
accusations. Is that what u trynna say?!!"
She looked aside....
Me:" Why....Why did u set me up with him knowing he was dangerous?"
Olwethu:We thought he'd changed. And trust me he did. Ive never seen Luvuyo so
inlove with anyone. We were certain that u'd be the change he needed.
Me:"He made me barren....Hows that for a change?"
They stared at me astonishly.
Nokthula: He....u.....im so sorry.....
Me:"Know what? Get out..."
Angie: Listen we know u-
Me:GET THE FUCK OUT.!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!
Nokthula: Geez okay.....
They quickly went out. I was so angry at them. I was so angry at myself.... How could I
let myself get fooled like that?? Guess it was true what they say....The city life ain't
fun..........I learned that the hard way.. .....
.
.
.
.

INSERT 59......
I was asleep. Ever had the feeling that someone is watching u? Thats what I felt and
woke up. I looked around everywhere but no sign of anyone. Was I also starting to get
crazy? In minutes Mrs Shezi, Mr Shezi, the sangoma I saw at my wedding as well as
Sandile walked in...
Mrs Shezi: U getting better.
Me: Uhm Sanibonani..
Mr Shezi chuckled
Mr Shezi: Its okay my daughter. English will do.
Mkhonto: Heey....Ngibona umoya o mube(I see an evil spirit)
Mrs Shezi: Moy.....Moya?... Uh uh.
Mkhonto: Ngyak'tshela. K'mele a geziwe lomuntu...(im telling u. She needs to get
cleansed.)
The misfortunes have fallen on her deep.
Mr Shezi: Will u be okay with it sweety?
Me:"Uhm....what is gonna be done on me? "
Mkhonto: I am going to call on the ancestors and cleanse u with sea water...
He turned and faced Sandile
Mkhonto: Nawe futhi. nxa (u too)
Mrs Shezi: Bab'Mkhonto
Mkhonto: Yini? Ngithe noma angam'thandi, amuvikele. Umsebenzi wakhe, kodwa yena
uyenzeni, Uhlulekile...(What? I said even if he doesn't love her, he must protect her. But
what did he do? He failed)
Sandile looked aside ....
Mkhonto: Hee wena mfana. Ngikhuluma nawe. (Hey u boy. Im talking to u)
He looked aside still.
Mkhonto: Hee ur wife...can't bear children and u having Iattitude? Kulungile(its fine )
He faced me.
Mkhonto: Ngwanaka, go tlo loka ,akere? (My child,all will be fine okay?)
I nodded....
A knock appeared and it was the detective.
Mashaba: Sanibonani
We greeted back.
Mashaba: Im here for the girl. U ready? ......
Really?Ready? How could one be ready to open up their worst experience? I jus looked
aside...
Mashaba: Right....can we have privacy?.
The started walking. I looked over to the door and my eyes came across Sandile's eyes.
They looked....I don't know..... begging. Pleading....
Mashaba: So...u can start. What happend to u ....
Me:"I....uhm....I was....he....I... "
I suddenly had a flash back on something...
" "Hey...pumpkin.....Its me. Please hold on. Bab'Mkhonto would kill me as well if u die
coz he strictly said I should protect u. The guy is scary.... Hehehe......
If u wake up, I promise I'll look after u and protect u at all times. U've made a change in
my life. Don't discard me......Make it...."
Then Another flashback of Luvuyo pointing the gun at me. Sandile cares about me. He
said he'll look after me and protect me. He saved me. He actually,cares about me....
Mashaba: Miss ....he snapped his fingers near my face.
I came back to life.
Me:"I.... Uhm I was going to see my....boyfriend.. Actually I was going back to his
apartment and... out of the blue, a car crashed me.'
Mashaba: Can u describe the car?
Me:"Uhh I dont know. It was silver....No black.. .No....I can't remember."
He looked at me but in a way that he certainly seemed not convinced. He took out a
picture and faced it towards me
Mashaba: I believe this is him
I looked at it and it was Luvuyo.
Me:"Y...yes"
Mashaba: See mam. He had an accident and burned in his car.
Me:"Wh.....What? "
Mashaba: U didn't know? Well madam. I think somehow there is a link between ur
incidences. Weren't u in his car?
Me:"Me? no.... I got angry and got out of the apartment but returned. "
Mashaba: Ohh okay. But what confuses me is how u get crashed and he gets an accident,
on a free way.
I shrugged my shoulders.
Mashaba: I believe Sandile Shezi helped u. At what time did he help u?
Me:"Uhm...im not sure"
Mashaba: How did he know?
Me: "Uhh....I had him on speed dail..."
Mashaba: So he wasn't involved in the accidents?
Me:"Listen Luvuyo was actually a drug distributer"
Mashaba: I already know that.
Me:"He had alot of enermies trying to get him. Maybe one of his enermies wanted to get
to him through me. And. .. when I left the apartment he was drinking. Maybe that caused
his accident."
He gave me a very intimidating look.
Mashaba: I think thats all for today.
He stood up and took out his business card.
Mashaba: If u perhaps remember anything important, u can contact me.
Me:"Thats all I remember detective."
He gave me the look again and walked out.....
It was right. Sandile took his all to save me. Its only right that I did the same. He can't go
to jail for my sake. I had to appreciate him.
.
.
.

INSERT 60.......
I had stayed for days in the hospital with the detective coming in once and twice jus to
dig in something but I kept my story straight. My stay here was,,Woo all i can say is that
Im glad im leaving. Mr Shezi got different specialists for me. All of them were coming
in and out to check me andt they all seemed to be really professionals and were really
costy. I appreciated that but, its only that I hate hospitals. Today I was getting
discharged. I don't know who was coming to get me since my parents had left the
previous days. Im sure it must be one of Mr Shezi's men. I was packing my stuff in my
small bag while the doctor walked in.
Doc: I see u ready to leave...
I turned to look at him
Me: Yes...
Doc: Its good to see u up and going. Is ur husband gonna pick u up?
Me: My husband??
Doc: Yea. The young guy that brought u in. isn't he ur husband?
Me: uuhm
Doc: No sorry jus that when u were admitted, he always called u his wife....
Wow Sandile calling me his wife..Thats a first .....
Me: No its....okay. He is my husband.
Doc: Oh. U guys are the youngest couple I've ever come across...
I flashed a smile.
Doc:He really cares about u. Jus keep going strong and u will make it to eternity.
Marriage ain't easy but it needs both of u to put effort in it. And ....Im sorry about
ur...Womb situation. It shouldnt break u it should make u guys stronger..
I don't know how to react to all that speech. Sandile and I aren't really husband and wife,
and the womb thing was something my soul didn't want to touch. Ir didn't feel real to
me. Right now, I didn't want anything to do with love or relationship oe anything at that
sort. Iv learned. While we were talking Sandile knocked. I looked at him...He greeted
the doctor and we walked out. He went to the receptionist with her looking at him with
funny looks. He was looking good with a skinny jean pulled abit below his BvD, a long
sleeved black shirt and a black benie so clearly she was charmed. He signed the
discharge papers and held my bag for me.
Me: I didn't know u were picking me up.
Sandile: I brought u here.
Me: and caused me to come here.
Sandile: Are we still on about that? Really?
Me: I couldve died!
Sandile: Yea but u didn't so stop whining.
Me:Mxm!
I walked looking aside. The fact that hes the one who hit the car didn't handle me well.
We got to the car and entered in. He started the engine and he drove off...
Sandile: Uhm... I heard about what u told the detective. Thank yo-
Me: Dont
Sandile: Im trynna be thankful here.
Me: Well then keep it
Sandile: Do u always have to act like this? What happend to the Rethabile that was quiet
and all
Me: U mean the one u used to mistreat? And for the last time its Relebogile....
Sandile: Know what lets leave it.
We kept quiet.
Sandile: U hungry?
Me: No im okay.
He kept quiet and drove up to a certain complex. He parked and went out. I stayed in the
car until he came back with a plastic. He took out a plastic with food and brought it
towards me.
Me: I said im not hungry
Sandile: Yea then. Jus take it.
I jus looked at him and he put them on my laps then took out a packet of biltongs for
himself then he drove off. I wasn't comfortable with a person eating and driving at the
same time. I looked at him
Sandile: Aren't u gonna eat?
I looked at the plastic then opened it and took out a McDonalds packaging. I opened it
and saw a burger. Well...hospital food were a bore to me so I digged in.. Ohh the taste
was heaven. I even closed my eyes. Sandile chuckled and I immediately opened them.
Me: Why did u do it?
Sandile: Do what?
Me: Save me..?
Sandile: Uhhm... I...it was jus a coincidence.... He took a bite from his biltong and
looked at me. We has that crazy eye contacting, it had a connection of some sort. Like
some sort of force was combining us until I looked aside. He focused on the road again.
In a few minutes we arrived back home. We got out and entered the house where it
seemed to be having some family meeting. Mr and Mrs Shezi, Bab'Mkhonto and two
men who I remembered from my negotiations. And to my surprise, Madipila was there.
Madipila: Ohh wow. U have grown so much.
Bab'Mkhonto: Ya ayi ave amuhle futhi ( Shes beautiful) .
I smile.
Bab'Mkhonto: E...Mfana
Sandile: Jah
Bab'Mkhonto: Uthi Jah??
He looked aside
Sandile: Sawubona (greetings)
Bab'Mkhonto: Numba 1.
Thats shocking. So there are only two people Sandile respects. Bab'Mkhonto and his
mom. Bab'Mkhonto was scary though.
Madipila: Well we are to do a cleansing ceremony for u. We never really accepted u in
the family officially.
Bab'Mkhonto: Yebo
Mr Shezi: For both of u actually
Sandile: Aren't u tired of doing all these traditional ish?
Bab'Mkhonto: Hey! Sandile!
Sandile: Hai mina be ngi -
Bab'Mkhonto: Angik'buzanga. Thula( I didn't ask u. Keep quiet)
Sandile: Mxm I'd rather leave.
He pulled me.
Mrs Shezi: Sandile!
He stopped.
Bab'Mkhonto: Uyaphi manje o Relebogile? ( Where is Relebogile going now?)
Sandile: Umfazi wam angithi? (shes my wife right? )
He pulled me and we walked upstairs.
Me: Hey! U don't pull me like that.
Sandile: Can't u see? This is all dad's scheming.
Me: Well I don't care. As long as it will remove all this bad luck in my life.
Sandile: Hey there is no bad luck its jus them trynna get to me.
Me: Im doing it!
Sandile: Suit urself.
Me; I've had enough already..
Sandile: U the one who followed a psyco and got urself infertile and - .... I ...Uhm....
I quickly ran up to my room. How could he say that? I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask for
Luvuyo to take advantage of me. I cried until I eventually dozed off....
.
.
.

INSERT 61......
What Sandile had said to me was truly painful. Like a part of my heart had been ripped
out of me. The memories he brought to me were heartbreaking and brain-tormenters.
Did he really have to mention that? I stayed in my room and cried. I didn't even want
any supper neither did I drink my pills. I was jus so down. I didn't know my life would
turn out like this. While I was in my thoughts a knock happend on my door. I didn't
wanna communicate with anyone. All I wanted was some alone time. Clearly the person
doesn't respect privacy coz the door jus opened itself.
Me:"I didn't say come in "
Madipila: I didn't need u to.
I looked over to her.
Madipila: U don't seem well
Me:"I don't feel well"
Madipila: I can give u some herbs and ul be healed in a short period of time.
Me:"No its ok. I have pills..."
She looked at me
Madipila: U have changed....
Me:"Uhhm really? "
Madipila: Yes. You've ...grown.
I looked aside. She came and sat next to me.
Madipila: Relebogile... Iv known u for so long. Iv known u since birth. I watched u
grow. I know u very well to see if theres something deep in u bothering u
Me:" How can u? "
Madipila: Im a healer. I don't jus heal the sick, I also heal the bothered. I can sense it
when a person is bothered by something deep within. So tell me, what is it?
Me:"Nothing....I jus miss my old life"
Madipila: Why? is there something that happend?
I looked aside
Madipila: Tell me this, why were u in hospital anyway? I don't buy the whole accident
story. Theres something u not saying.
I looked aside still
Madipila: Relebogile
I looked at her
Madipila: U can always confide in me u know that?
I nodded
Madipila: I know that something happend.
Me:"Nothing happend..."
I turned my body to the other side.
Madipila: Who is Luvuyo?
I quickly turned my body to face her with shock
Me:Ho...w....
Madipila: Huh?
Me: Uhm why are u asking?
Madipila: When I consulted the ancestors they said out his name.
Me:Uhmm
Madipila: Tell me who he is. He is the reason ur little brother has been ill.
I sat up straight. I didn't know what to say
Madipila: Im waiting....
Me:Uhmm m...my boyfriend...I mean my ex boyfriend or my late boyfriend or
something around there
Madipila: Hmm interesting. I have a feeling he is the reason u were in hospital.
I looked
Madipila: Relebogile for ur own safety u have to tell me everything.
Me: I don't know where to start
Madipila: A story always starts from the beginning...
Then it goes. I spilled out everything about my relationship with Luvuyo.
Everything!!!Including the kidnapping thing. Everything that had occurred to me and
Luvuyo. And I ended by telling her about the accident
Me: So... I lied to the detective jus to avoid him going to jail. So yea...
Madipila: Yohh.... So when I dreamed of myself held hostage it was actually u. I
shouldve recognized earlier....
Me: Its done now.
Madipila: But im happy that u protected ur husband
Me: But he almost killed me
Madipila: Forget about that. This only means one thing. I tried to ignore it but its as
clear as day light.
Me: What?
Madipila: The ancestors didn't bring u two together to bring peace to the two families
only. They did it coz u two are destined to be together
Me: Me and Sandile? Hehehe
Madipila: It makes sense. U can never find happiness in anyone else than him.
Me: But we always at each others throats.
Madipila: Ohh yes. They always start that way.
Me: Im done with relationships. I don't want anything now. All I want now is to focus
on healing, bearing my results, making my life easier and bringing my confidence back.
Madipila: U can do that. But jus know, u and Sandile aren't parallel. U will come to
meet. Jus try to meet him.
She stood up
Madipila: U have to wake up early tomorrow we are doing the cleansing ceremony.
Make sure u already up and clean by 8...
She walked out....
But I was serious. I don't want anything to do with relationships, loving, lovers, most
especially with Sandile. Destined?? She mustve overdosed coffee. Theres no way I'd
associate myself with Sandile.... I got dressed into my pjs and hopped in my bed. I felt
like a dead person so I didn't bother myself with drinking pills. I went straight to lala
land.....
.
I woke up the next day at around 6 and got up. I felt very dizzy with a piercing pain in
my liver but pushed myself to the bathroom and took a bath, got done and walked back
to my room. I knew that a cleansing ceremony wanted decent traditional clothes so I
dressed in this long dress peach flowered that reached my knees with pumps. My hair
was a mess. Like literally. It was dry and coarse and parts of it wasn't in the same lane as
the rest of my head. I couldn't even think of a way to fix it. I dug in my wardrobe and
took my scarf. I put it on my head and made a head cloth with. When I was done I went
out of the room and headed downstairs. The elders and everyone were already seated
talking. I greeted them and they greeted back.
Mr Shezi: Hhmm we can start.
Bab'Mkhonto got up and laid down his traditional things. Sandile came in that moment
and my....he looked good. He was wearing a creamish brown simple traditional shirt
with a black skinny jean with black shining shoes. He looked great in traditional-urban
attire, plus he a little buffy. Anyway he stood next to me and we both faced
Bab'Mkhonto as he started burning the bushy plants with the strong smell. He said
praises, took his fured stick and sprinkled us with water. He first started with Sandile
since his the husband then he came to me. When he was done with us he sprinkled the
rest of the house.
Bab'Mkhonto: Yabona manje se ku right (u see now, its alright)
This other old woman who was present said...
Old grandma: Manje... Igama (Name?)
Mkhonto: Yebo...Igama. Ntokazi yam. Ku suka namhlanje, u ngu Hmm...(Yes...name.
My girl. Starting from today u are....)
Mrs Shezi: Uhhm may I ask to give her a name...
Old grandma: Haai. Uthini lo mfazi (What is this woman saying?)
Mr Shezi: Mama ka Nokthula u are not allowed to.
Mrs Shezi: Please... I jus have the perfect name for her.
Mr Shezi looked at Bab'Mkhonto.
Bab'Mkhonto: Angazi mina. (I don't know)
Mrs Shezi: Ngiyacela (please)
He looked at Madipila and she gave him a nod.
Mkhonto: Kulungile (Its fine)
Mrs Shezi: Thank u... uhm.... Siphesinhle .
Mkhonto: Siphesinhle Shezi.... Hmm... Lihle (its beautiful)
They all smiled and agreed. I guess thats my new name. Siphesinhle ...Beautiful hey....
.
The ceremony succeed well and we were now making a feast with Mrs Shezi and other
relatives.
Relative 1: Yazi umuhle makoti. Ngempela (U beautiful. really)
I blushed
Relative2: Ene futhi uya zi hlonipha. Bheka le roko(and she respects herself. Look at her
dress)
Relative 1:Ya aka fani ne zikheneresh za la e jozi ( She isn't like these hoes here in jozi)
Mrs Shezi was giving bright smiles.This woman was an angel indeed...
Relative 2: Ma wethu, a kuna ma vege lana ( there isn't any vegies here)
Mrs Shezi: Ohh ya..... Sandile!
He walked in after a few seconds
Mrs Shezi: There u are. Uhm can u go and buy some vegies.
Sandile: Mina mama? Angazi mina izinto ze bafazi (me mama? I don't know woman
stuff)
Mrs Shezi: Sandile
Sandile: I need assistance.
Mrs Shezi: U'll go with Sihle then...
That name though.... :)
Mrs Shezi: Sihle. Hamba naye tuu (go with him please)
Me: Uhhm I...I am handling the refreshments
Relative 2: Yeka lapho. I'll do it. Hamba no myeni wakho sisi( Leave that I'll do it. Go
with ur husband)
I looked at him and he walked to the door. I guess I have no choice.
I followed him to his car and opened the backseat door.
Sandile: And then??
Me: What?
Sandile: Whats wrong with the front?
Me: I jus feel like -
Sandile: Don't be like that I don't bite.
I looked at him
Sandile: Can u jus come in the car?
I looked at him then got in the front seat. He got in and the guards opened the gate for us
and we drove off
Sandile: Uhhmm...About yesterday I -
Me: Don't.
Sandile: Im sorry. It was wrong of me to say that. It was a slip of a tongue
Me: Cool.
Sandile: Don't be cold please
I looked out the window.
Sandile: So.... Siphesinhle.... nice name.
Me: Thanks.
Sandile: Can u for once stop being dramatic
I turned to face him.
Me: U almost killed me remember!?
Sandile: We on that again?? ohh please
Me: Heee and he says please
Sandile: What should I do, take back time and have not crashed the car,had not killed
him, had let him get away with u...?
I kept quiet
Sandile: Lets jus forget about this.
Me: Good.
We drove up to the mall and got whatever we needed. At the till the woman said
Her: U two are a really good looking couple...
Me: Uhh we are not a-
Sandile: Thank u....
I looked at him. He looked back and winked at me. Arg..this guy. I took the trolley and
pushed it to the car fast. I heard Sandile complaining at the back but I continued. I got to
the car and waited for him to come. He finally did.
Sandile: And then... what was that for?
Me: We are not a couple!!!open the trunk
He opened it and I loaded the things in the car
Sandile: U mad at everything
Me: Its coz everything u do makes me mad!
He gave me a look
Sandile: Hey don't dare shout at me in public.
Me: Mxm.
I closed the trunk and attempted to walk but he held my arm
Sandile: What if I want us to be one?
Me: What?
Sandile: Yes. What if I want us to be official??
Me; U crazy
Sandile: And ur husband....
I looked at him. Is he really serious?
Sandile: Com'on. We can give it a try.
Me: But we always fight
Sandile: Sihle....I like u.... maybe I do love u
What!!!?
Me: Uhhm noo.....
Sandile: What do u mean no?
Me: Uh uh. I dont want u. U z bad influence and u selfless,u childish and besides, I dont
want a relationship. Neither with u
Sandile: Hehe really?
Me: Yea u jus too much I can't keep up with u u jus so in-
I dont know what happend but Sandile's lips landed on mine. We kissed....
.
.
.

INSERT 62.....
Moment of silence over what had happend. I don't know how but my lips met with his
and made an exchange of motion. It was soft,sweet and warm. His lips....Glorious
moment.... Jus then, a picture of Luvuyo got in my head.
Wait...what am I doing??? I pulled out and immediately slapped Sandile across his face.
Me: What are u doing!?
He looked at me... I rushed to the door and got in the car then he followed after a minute
of standing outside. The kiss jus brought back memories of Luvuyo. Bad and Good.
Sandile: Im sorry if that was inappropriate.
Me: It was very inappropriate!!!!!
Sandile: Uhm im sorry I didn't mean to upset u.
I didn't even realize that tears were already flowing down my cheeks. Honestly he did
me wrong. He took advantage of me while Im weak. How dare he...?
In silence he started the car and started driving.
Sandile: I don't know what is wrong with u.
I kept quiet
Sandile: Sihle rather slap me again than keep quiet on me.
Me: Sandile can u please jus drive?
Sandile: Mxm...
He kept silent..
Me: Is he dead?
Sandile: Who..?
Me: Luvuyo
Sandile: Uhm yea.
Me: How do u know?
Sandile: The car bombed in front of me.
Me: When is his funeral?
Sandile: He got cremated.
Me: I don't believe his dead.
Sandile: U loved him?
I looked aside
Me: What was his problem exactly?
Sandile: He had .. Bipolar and had a brain tumor...
Me: What?
Sandile: Yea.
Me: That explains the note cards in his bathroom
Sandile: For goodness sake can we not talk about him?
I looked out the window.
Sandile: Sihle I was serious out there
Me: Its not gonna happen.
Sandile: Why? u my wife
Me: Hehe u jus gonna brag about it everywhere? Even in hospital?
Sandile: Isn't it true?
Me: I am still a Kaile and u didn't put a ring on it
Sandile: Rethink about the bracelet on ur left hand.
Me: Well...traditionally yea but not officially.
Sandile: Pumpkin alot of people get traditionally married without western weddings and
certificates.
I looked at him
Me: Don't call me pumpkin
Sandile: Yaz I dont know whats ur problem...
Me: mxm...
Sandile; I guess ur "moaning"
Me: Shut up
Sandile: I don't want to.
Me: Sandile u irritating me
Sandile: Ow really? Shame pumpkin
Me: Arg man Shezi!
Sandile: Wow. Thats new.
Me: U such a moron
Sandile: Then theres a proton,electron and neuron. Means im significant ....
We approached the gate and I saw Roxy standing outside of it
Me: Yea maybe u are significant to ur hood rat
Sandile: Hood rat? Who's my.....
He saw her and his mood had changed. He stopped right at the gate and got out and went
straight to her giving her a serious look.
Roxy: Hey bae
Sandile: Roxy what the hell are u doing here?
Roxy: To see u ofcos
Sandile: Leave
Roxy: Baby how long are we gonna keep getting to this? We ain't kids
Sandile: Yea u right. Kids easily forget and I don't.
Roxy: Sandile I love u..
Wow I wished I believed that
Sandile: And I don't....
Wooo drama
Roxy: Why? is it because of her? She isn't even ur type look at her attire
Me: Excuse me?
Roxy: U excused alright
Sandile: Roxanne!. We are having a private family gathering.
Roxy: But Sandile u always take me along at a family gathering
Sandile: Not anymore
Roxy: Coz of her! ??
Sandile: Shes my wife!!!!
Here we go again
Roxy: What? U saying that on my face? What has she fed u?
Me: Sandile can we please go in? They waiting for us.
Roxy: The nerve!
Sandile: Roxanne u better leave...
He walked away from her and walked to the car then got inside.
Roxy: U!!! U'll get whats coming for u!! U'l regret ever messing with me....
Sandile drove into the yard. .
Sandile: Don't let her get to u.
Me : Whatever. I don't want ur girlfriend dramas....
I got out the car and unloaded the things from the trunk and we walked in.
Mrs Shezi: There u are. We've been waiting....
Sandile: We here now...
We put the plastic bags on the floor. I was about to take the last one on the floor but
Sandile did the same and our hands clashed. We paused and I looked him. He looked at
me too. I let go of the plastic and he took it. I walked away from him and got an apron
then continued helping with the feast..... The ceremony went well. We laughed and
shared jokes, Sandile's relatives are really great to be around. I felt at ease..... We got
done and the relatives went their ways......
.
.
.
#SANDILE
Its been two days since the cleansing ceremony. Sihle has been scarce. Or avoiding me
for that matter. What I said to her was actually true. I have feelings for her. Deep ones. I
have fallen in love with her. I don't know how to express it. All my life girls threw
themselves at me. But she is different. Thats what I love about her.... My phone rang up
and I answered
Me: Hello
"Yo Snyder"
Me: Hi Achie
" Ey u been scarce man"
Me: I been busy ey.
"Ow really? Or maybe wifey has locked u up"
Me: Nah she cool
"wooah"
Me: Wait....wait a minute. Wife? How did u know?
"So its true?"
Me: Achie I asked u a question
"Its all over the social media. 'Towns most attractive hunkie picked a fish out of the sea'"
Me: U kidding me.
" Check it bruh"
I hung up and went straight to Twitter. Indeed it was all over the social media. Some
were asking who she is and why was the wedding a private one. Ofcos it was chicks who
always wanted to be mine. Who would do this? If pumpkin sees this im dead. I got up
and went downstairs where I found her talking over the phone.
Sihle: No I don't know what u talking about..... No where did u get this from?...... Bye!
She hung up and looked at me.
Me: Goodmorning
Sihle: How can u steep so low?
Me: Im not following
Sihle: Tell everyone about us!!! Sandile whats ur problem!!?
Me: Woah woah slow down. I know I also found out this morning. I have nothing to do
with it.
Sihle: Really? Sandile u the one who said u loved me. And I reject then the whole of
johburg knows about my marital status
Me: I'll fix it
Sihle: U the one who did this.
Me: Ok chill it now. Blaming me wont help.
Sihle: Aggg!!!
She walked upstairs in a fuss.
Sandile: No breakfast for me. Owk..
I made myself some cereals and went to watch tv. Damn it was 11:32. I know ....I love
sleeping. and with Sihle turning me down, my eyes cant shut in the night. I dont know
why im so attracted to her. The door got opened and one of the guards came in.
Him; Afternoon sir
Me: Morning to u too
Him: Detective Mashaba is here...
Me: What does he want now??
He shrugged his shoulders.
Me; Let him in.
He walked out and in a minute, Detective walked in
Me: Shabi
He smiled
Detective: Sandile Shezi. Hmm...
Me: Always a pleasure to meet u Detective.
Detective: This is not a friendly visit.
Me: Then why u here?
Detective: I heard that the little girl is ur wife...
Me: Uhuh....?
Detective: Yes and I know for sure no wife would want her husband to serve prison ...
Me: Ur point exactly?
Detective: She lied to us to cover for u. I believe u are the one involved in Luvuyo
Zitha's murder
Me: Murder??? I thought he had an accident
Detective: *He laughed...* Trust me. I'll put u behind the bars soon. U crashed him. And
ur wife knows it...
Me: Firstly.... Pum--.... She is not my wife. U can check her finger. Google her if u can
and u'll see that shes single. Secondly get facts before u front. And.... nigga I ain't kill
nobody
Detective: Theres a case of u assaulting him. U already a suspect...
Me: Whatever. Are u done?? I have things to do....
He gave me a look and walked to the door then stopped....
Detective: Im gonna get evidence of u involving the accident. And when I do, u my
boy...will serve jail for a very long time...
Me: I'd like to see u try....
He did a side smile then walked out. This detective wants to get under my nerves. I
turned around to get back to my eating,my eyes came across Sihle who was on the stairs
staring down with teary eyes.
Me: Uhm Sihle....
She walked up the stairs with tears falling from her eyes.......
.
.
.

INSERT 62.....
#SIHLE
Lately alot of things are happening. I don't understand why.... Everytime things seem to
be going right, they take a turn and be worse. What I heard downstairs actually made me
emotional. Jus because I couldn't listen to Sandile about a guy I used to say he loves me,
I dug a hell hole for all of us. Why am I so stupid?? Im crying now coz a good person
who actually saved me has a chance of going to jail because of me. Hes going to have a
criminal record because of me and that hit me deep. I have to make it up to him. He took
a risk for me. Hurt me yes but atleast im safe and sound now. Few broken ribs is better
than a lifeless body. I got a hold of myself and went out my room. I needed to get
straight with him. I knocked at his bedroom and he didn't respond. Im guessing his
downstairs. I walked downstairs but no sign of him. I walked to the kitchen and heard a
sound of a device playing a song from outside. I looked out the window and saw Sandile
walking in the garden with a bucket thingie. It was 6 in the evening. What would he
want from the garden this late? Anyway I went out and silently went to him.He seemed
to be walking along a certain path that leaded far away from the house. A bit spooky. He
got to a certain cottage and got inside. I first looked at everything around me. Ey im
brave but not when it comes to creepy crawlies. I slowly walked to the cottage door and
opened it. It was dark inside. I didn't understand what Sandile would do here. I saw a
beam of light coming In from the corner of the room and followed it. I got to another
door where I heard a song playing from a device. I don't know what to expect. I slowly
opened it and walked in. I looked around and the room wasn't bad. But it was filled with
poster and posters of paintings. Paintings of a baby, paintings of a house, a woman, a
heart and a key. One thing that caught my attention was the painting of a girl in
traditional attire. Exactly the one I wore on the wedding day. In the middle of the room
it was Sandile painting out a painting while rapping along his song...
Sandile: *rapping* "By the time im back in the streets like a bachelor, I gadda pay the
slumps with an old ass killer. Life is a movie, pick ur own role, climb ur own ladder or u
dig ur own hole. Sitting round crying thats like shit around dying. U wanna touch the
sky bitch u figure out flying"
Me:"Nigga how high" I rapped too.
He immediately turned around in shock and looked at me.
Sandile: S..Sihle. How did u get in here?
Me: I jus saw u walking this direction and I decided to follow u.
Sandile: Ohh
I looked around
Me: I didn't know u can paint.
Sandile: Well yea I can.
Me: This is great
Sandile: Thanks.
He went back to his painting.
Me: Is that me? *pointing at the painting with the girl in traditional attire*
Sandile: Well...yea. .
Me: Wow...
Sandile: I never knew u listen to Jcole
Me: Well yea I do
Sandile: Cool.
Me: U good with what u do. Why not take it as a career?
Sandile: Pss try telling ur dad in law.... Why did u follow me?
Me: I wanted to talk to u. Uhmm. Thing is.....Im sorry about everything. I know u saved
me an-
Sandile: No need. I had to
Me; But we in this coz of me.
Sandile: U didn't know.
He went back to his painting. He seemed to be painting a heart thats on top of a rock.
Me: Lets give it a try.
Sandile: What?
Me: Us....Lets try it.
He turned and put the brushes aside ...
Sandile; Really?
Me: Uhm...Yea...
He looked at me then walked up to me. He looked intimidating I even took steps back as
he came forth.
Sandile: Pumpkin.... Im not going to jail. Never
Me: Uhhh....
Sandile: Im not stupid. I know u doing this coz u feel bad about me commiting murder
for u.
Me: I-
Sandile: The detective was bluffing. He ain't got none. Stop tripping okay......
Me: Bu...but I want to.
Sandile: No. Its pretty clear that u not ready to open up so I ain't gonna force u. Jus that I
have feelings for u...
Me: I do too
Sandile: Huh?
Me: I have feelings for u too. Lets be official
Sandile: U not ready
Me: Sandile com'on...
Sandile: Are u?
Me: yes...
He stared at me then slowly brought his head close to mine. I literally felt his breath on
my face. He had a certain warmth. Slowly his lips came to mine. He kissed me. An
unremarkable moment. I felt chills down my spine the more I changed motions with his
mouth. He was a good kisser. He slowly walked me to the wooded wall of the cottage
while kissing me and I leaned on it. We continued kissing and slowly his hand went
lower on me. I was wearing a dress. His hand made its way to my thigh and slowly went
up my thighs inside my skirt. I don't know how or why but I freaked and pulled out the
kiss. He looked at me.
Sandile: See ... I told u u ain't ready. Jus.... Listen if u not ready to make us work, I wont
force u. Jus don't do it out of pity or shame coz of what I did for u..
He walked towards the door and opened it.
Sandile: Ohh and Sihle...?
I looked at him
Sandile: I love u......
.
.
.
.

INSERT 63......
"Am I speaking alone here...
Hello!!!!"
I snapped out of it and eventually came back to reality.
Me: Hmm?
Nokthula: Wow so I was speaking alone?
Me: No...no ..I heard u. What are we talking about again?
Nokthula: Relebogile! Yohh.. Ohh I mean Sihle
Me: I might have a new name but im still the same person....
Nokthula: I beg to differ. U not urself.
Me: Whatever.
Nokthula: Ey Christmas is in two days.
Me: I... waa hoping to go back home
Nokthula: But Sihle u've never spent Christmas with us. Not even last year. U went back
home too. U family now. Atleast lets have our first Christmas together
Me: I don't know bout this.
Nokthula: Im not taking no for an answer.
Me: But I miss my family.
Nokthula: Arg!
Sandile walked in at that moment. I haven't had contact with him lately. He had been
scarce. Maybe his avoiding me. He looked like he had been jogging. He was wearing a
grey nike short, a nike shirt with a towel around his neck with red headphones holding a
squeeze bottle. He kinna looked sexy
Nokthula: Ohh bro can u please talk to her?
Sandile: Morning to u too.
Nokthula: Right. morning
He looked at me
Sandile: Hey
Me: Hi
I looked down. After what happend in the cottage , I haven't had the courage to actually
face him. Us being together was a big step that I wasn't really prepared for...
Sandile: So..what are you complaining about?
Nokthula: She wants to go to Limpopo for Christmas
Sandile: Uhh....
He looked at me. Our eyes met, making that awkward eye contacting happen again
Nokthula: Sandile!
Sandile: Uhm W....why?
Me: I jus.. miss my family
He stared at me....
Nokthula: Tell her that it will be fun.
Sandile was speechless. He jus stared at me.
Nokthula: Sny?...... Mxm u guys are such a bore....
She irritably stood up from the kitchen and walked upstairs.
Sandile : Uhmm. * clears throat* U wanna go home?
Me: Uhhm yea.
Sandile; Ohh..
Me: Yep.
Sandile: About the other night. It hit me that I was abit forward. I shouldnt hav-
Me: Its cool..
I looked aside. We had an awkward silence. He broke the ice.
Sandile: So what are we having for breakfast?
Me: Ow made pancakes
Sandile: U made pancakes? Wow.
Me: Yea I can dish out a few for u
Sandile: Please....
I stood up from the chair while he sat on the other one checking up his phone. I dished
up 3 of them on a plate.
Me: Honey syrup?
Sandile: Yea.
I added honey syrup on the pancakes and since I know his love for sweet things, I added
a few dashes of chocolate syrup with a cherry on top. I poured him grape juice and
brought it to him
Sandile: Wow. This uhh looks dillish
Me: Dillish?
Sandile: Yea. Is it safe though?
Me: I can always take it back
Sandile: Haha im kidding....
He took the cutleries and had one bite in his mouth. The moment he started chewing
them, he paused, looking like he jus swallowed vinegar. I trembled thinking it doesn't
taste good to him. He went straight for the juice.
Me: What? A....aren't they nice?
Sandile: Are u kidding me?
Ohh gosh
Sandile: They taste great like yoh. These taste like heaven.
I blushed
Me: Really?
Sandile: Yeah.
He dug in immediately trying to stuck most of it in his mouth.
Me: Heheh im glad.
Sandile: Mhhh girl. Any girl would kill to have u as his wife.
That statement. It pierced me abit
Sandile: Oh uhhm im sorry...that came out wrong
Me: Its....its okay
I looked aside.
Sandile: Uhm I see u getting better.
Me: Well yea. I feel better too.
Sandile: Thats good.
He continued with the pancakes.
Me: Uhm lemme go and take a shower.
Sandile: Ok cool. Thanks for breakfast
Me: Anytime.
He smiled. The way his smile was, I myself couldn't help but smile too, and that
triggered another eye contacting. I snapped out of it and went upstairs. I grabbed my
towel and headed for a long bath. After the long refreshing bath I got out of the
bathroom. While walking to my room I came across Sandile while I was wrapped in a
towel. We both looked at each other until I looked at my path. He stared at my body for
a while. I quickly walked to my room. I felt embarrassed actually. Walking around in a
towel....thats really embarrasing to me.How was I gonna face him again? Truly my
relation with Sandile was becoming shaky and humid. Jus too many emotions. I lotioned
myself and got dressed,then got on my bed. The way that things had been I haven't had
enough time to register for a university. I somehow hope I'd get a bursary so I wont have
to bother anyone with vasity fees. Medical School ain't coins. I got hold of my laptop
and started browsing for bursaries.Most available ones were for Chemistry and
engineering. I couldn't find one that had dentistry. I dont want to study any other thing
then dentistry. Its my passion. I got disturbed by a knock on my door.
Me: Uhh come in....
Nokthula got in.
Nokthula: U asked for downstairs.
Me: Ohh by?
Nokthula: Our parents. Apparently they have an announcement to make.
Me: Any idea of what it might be?
Nokthula: Nope. But I hope its good news. Christmas is coming soon.
Me: U right on that one....
I closed my laptop and got up from the bed then followed her downstairs. Mr & Mrs
Shezi were already seated giggling. Something catchy is up with these two. We walked
in and sat on the other couches.
Mrs Shezi: Hey Sihle....
She gave me that bright embracing smile she always gives me. I don't get why this
woman likes me so much....
Me: Hi ma.
Mr Shezi: Wheres Sandile?
Nokthula shrugged her shoulders.
Mrs Shezi: But we can't announce without him here....
Jus then Sandile walked in.
Sandile: Im here
Mrs Shezi: Finally....
Sandile: Sorry I needed to solve something out. So what is this about?
Mr Shezi: Sit down boy
Sandile: Im good standing.
Mr Shezi: Sandile
Mrs Shezi: No jus....leave him.
Nokthula: Why are we here mom?
Mr Shezi: Ok my children, u no longer kids now so I believe u need to be informed
about everything..
Sandile; Ur point is?
Mrs Shezi: Me and ur dad have something to tell u...
We all looked at them waiting for the news.
Mrs Shezi: Tell them Love
Sandile: Love.???......wait wait wait what? .....
Mr Shezi: Yes. We have decided to make us work again. We are a couple...
Nokthula: Ohh My Gosh!!!
She immediately ran to hug them
Nokthula: Congratulations!!
Sandile: What!?
Nokthula broke the hug.
Mr Shezi: Yea we know its unexpected but-
Sandile: but what!!!? after everything u have caused?
Mrs Shezi: Baby he has changed
Sandile: Changed!!!? Where was he when u were dying on a sick bed? Where was he
when u had to go all the way to Cuba for the chemotherapy!!? This is the same man that
always beat u up everyday and u telling him u letting him in ur life again!!!!!?.
Nokthula: Woah...What are u talking about!!? Sandile jus because u hate dad doesn't
mean his a monster and that he doesn't deserve to be our mothers life partner!!!!
Sandile: Thula wena ngoba awaz lutho!!! (shut up coz u don't know anything)
Mrs Shezi: Sandile please!!!
Sandile: Ma he has made u suffer. He made u raise a child that isn't urs, he made u sick
and wished death apon u and u wanna let him worm himself back in ur life!!!?
Mr Shezi: Sandile!
Sandile: Yini!!!? ukhohlakele wena( What! ?U twisted)...I can't even stand u. And ma,
after everything I have done to protect u from him, u do this...
Mrs Shezi: He has changed shem bandla Sandile
Sandile: Yazin....Stay here with all ur shit. Im not involved in any of ur nonsense
concerning this devil...
He came up to me and unexpectedly pulled me roughly by my hand and walked me
outside with him.
Me: Sandile....What are u doing?
He kept quiet and jus kept on pulling me till we got to his car. He unlocked it and put me
in the front seat. I couldn't understand all this...Why is he doing this?
He got in the car.
Me: Ok I don't know what is going on and I prefer not to be involved in it but what the
heck are u doing??
Sandile: What I shouldve done a long time ago....
Unexpectedly he kissed me. Passionately. I wanted to fight it, but couldn't. It felt good.
It felt breezy. It felt right. It felt like.....love ......
.
.
.

INSERT 64.....
After minutes of sharing a glorious kiss I pulled out.
Me: What the heck!!!?
Sandile: Uhm
Me: Don't u ever do that to me!!!
Sandile: I don't get whats ur fucken problem chick...
Me: You-
Sandile: U my wife!!!My fucken wife!!!!! I paid for ur fucken ass!!!I have the right to
do that dammit!!
:O ..... I looked at him with shock. Why is he so acknowledge of me being his wife.... He
looked forward and started the car. Honestly iv never seen him this angered. He started
the engine and drove out the yard as soon as the guard opened up the gate. I didn't have
any words. They were all dried up. Sandile was truly ticking me off. I never knew that to
him I am someone he paid for. We kept on driving with total silence. I couldn't even ask
where we were going. I was jus so disgraced.
Sandile: Listen. I....im sorry.....
I kept quiet...
Sandile: Pumpkin....
I kept quiet still
Sandile: Rethabile...
I looked at him.
Me: Relebogile
Sandile: How bout Siphesinhle
Me: Mxm....I rolled my eyes and looked aside.
Sandile: I know u weren't expecting that...Jus that, when im angry, I get weird and crazy
and all.
Me: Sandile if u always released ur stress on someone entitled to u, let me not be one of
them. Im not Roxy
Sandile: I know and u far from her. I didn't mean to mistreat u. Jus that u don't know
what that guy has put me through....
I looked aside
Sandile: Sihle...Com'on.
Me: Leave me alone.
Sandile: Il make it up to u.
Me: How?
Sandile: U'll see. Im surprised that u ain't asking where im taking u.
Me: Didn't have the strength to.
Sandile: Ayt.
We continued driving until we got to this building abit further from the town. He parked
his car in the parking lot.
Sandile: Lets go.
Me: Where are we?
Sandile: Some place. Ul like it.
He grabbed some packet of snacks from the backseat.
Sandile: Aren't u coming?
Me: Not until u clarify where we are
Sandile: Yoh like seriously? Come on....
I looked at him.
Me: Fine.
I wasn't sure about this but anyway....I opened the door and got out then he locked the
car and walked away with me following him. We walked into the building. Turned out it
was a restaurant and to my surprised we passed it. We walked through the kitchen and
beyond it.
Me: Sandile where are we going?
Sandile: U'll see ...
He reached out for my hand and I held his hand. He walked me through the kitchen and
we got to a room with stairs. We walked. upstairs until we got to a door. He opened it
and we got out.
Me: We at the roof?
Sandile: Yep.
Me: Owkay....
He took a look at the view and kept total silence. I turned my head and truly it was a
beautiful view. Buildings,houses, cars and buses of the city. The mixture of all the city's
noise was like a melody. I felt myself soothe up. This was truly beautiful.
Sandile: Can u see what im feeling?
Me: What?
Sandile: The peace and self searching moment. The magic...
Me: Uhhm.
Sandile: Close ur eyes.
I slowly closed my eyes.
Sandile: Take a deep breath.
I took a deep breath. The feeling I felt, it was described. I felt my soul float. I felt at
ease.
Sandile: Can u feel the peace?
Me: Yes...I can....
Sandile: This is why I love this place..
I opened my eyes. He sat on the edge of the roof with his legs dangling.
Me: Sandile u gonna fall.
Sandile: I wont. I always do this. Come....
I slowly walked to where he was sitting and sat down with so much fear...
Sandile: U know...Iv been coming here since I was a teenager. This place always slows
me down. Whenever I need to get refreshed, this spot will do. Jus so u know, iv never
brought anyone here.
Me; Uhm so why did u bring me here?
Sandile: Iv realized that u have ur own pains so...sharing is caring....
Me: Well....thank u. It is beautiful...
I looked at the city view...
Sandile: Uhm and to also show something to u....Sihle... Ever since u came...u been an
alien in my world. U the only person I allow to defeat me. U different, u unique, u in
control, u respectful, u sweet and I first took advantage of that the previous year and
I...apologise for that. What im trynna say is....The feeling I get when im in this place, I
feel it too when we together without any argument. I feel a positive feeling. I wanna
have that in my life, I want u in my life, as my own.
I looked at him... He looked sincere.
Sandile: Well thats what I wanted to say .... He stood up.
Me: Wait.... please...lets jus relax.
He smiled and sat down......We talked and actually bonded. Sandile was actually a sweet
guy. Intelligent,smart and ambitious. Things I never knew about him. About 2 hours
later we were hungry and decided to head to the restaurant itself. I was abit worried
about my attire because it was a high class restaurant but what the heck. We got settled
at a table and made an order. The menu was too fancy, I ordered a lasagna since its the
only thing I knew on the menu. Our orders came through and we ate while making jokes
and all. It was jolly between us. The chemistry between us was kinna flaming. I mean
most people were staring at us.
Me: So...this is a date?
Sandile: Well yea. At an expensive restaurant and u wearing skinny jeans hahahahaha
Me: Hey what about u mr Benie?
Sandile: Hai nah leave me....
We continued laughing and teasing each other. Perhaps him and I stand a chance.....
Only maybe....... ;) ..
.
.
.

INSERT 65.......
Spending dinner with Sandile was a splendid thing. Ofcos the restaurant was abit off my
style so we got out and went to catch a movie. We got there and settled to watch a movie
titled "Why did I get Married?"... He chose it, for some reason I don't know. But it was a
great movie. I enjoyed watching different situation married couples had. I felt Sandile's
eyes on me every now and then but I'd brush it off. The movie got done and we exited
the Cinema and walked towards the parking lot.
Me: Uhhm thank u for all this...
Sandile: Anytime... Did u enjoy the movie?
Me: Yea well not my kinna chill but it was really great..
Sandile: Kinna chill? So what is ur 'kinna chill'?
Me: Ohh im more into action. Steven Segal kinna things...
Sandile: Woah... Thats a first. I mean...all girls are into these dramatic and romantic
Romeo & Juliet kinna chill and u into action?
Me: Well im not jus any girl.
Sandile: That I can see. It looks like u gonna be like the crazy woman in that movie
whos always drinking. Rockin up at the husbands work place while his live on Tv.
Me: Hahaha Im not insane
Sandile: Yea u jus weird. Like u listen to hip hop and watch action movies.
Me: Yea yea says the guy that loves eating sweet things. Are u always addicted to cup
cakes?
Sandile: Hai lets not go there.....
We laughed....
Me: Haai I need the bathroom
Sandile: Really? Like now? Its late hey and the toilets are far.
Me: Uh uh im serious.
Sandile: Arg fine. Jus walk straight and on ur right u'l see where its written toilet and
hurry please.
I walked away quickly into the almost empty and quiet big mall. The mall was huge and
hardly had a sign of a person available. While walking to the toilet I felt like someone
was following me. Everytime I looked behind me I saw no one. I quickend my pace until
I reached the toilet. I got in and did my business then went out to wash my hands. The
toilet was empty and without anyone else but me. I wouldnt think of it in another way I
mean its around past 9 in the evening and all the shops are closed except the restaurants
that work extra hours but the wasn't anyone. I washed my hands and fixed myself then
heard a sound from the toilets...
Me: Hello? Is there anyone there?
No response. Perfect silence. Perhaps I thought I heard something that actually made me
think I heard something. I turned to close the tap and I looked at the mirror. OHH MY
GOSH.... I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I saw Luvuyo standing behind me....
Me: AHHHHH!!!
I turned but saw so sign of anyone. At that moment I didn't want anything I jus ran for it.
I didn't even look back. I jus ran as fast as I could. I approached the parking lot and
faster to Sandile who was looking confused.
Me; Sandile....Sa....He is....h...
I was breathing heavily
Sandile: Woah slow down. What is wrong?
Me: He is in there Sandile he is not dead. His out to get me Sandile: He who? what are u
on about?
Me: Luvuyo! I saw him in the toilet
Sandile: Woah woah ok calm down.
He came closer to me and put my head on his chest and hugged me.
Sandile: Listen here. Luvuyo is dead. His body was burnt his gone theres no way u have
seen him.
Me: Noo .. I thought he'l take me again...
im already filled with tears.
Sandile: Not while im still alive. Lets go home...
He opened the car door for me and I got inside then he followed. He started the car and
drove off. He was looking rather uncool. Like he wasn't like a few hours ago.
Me: His alive Sandile
Sandile: Sihle u mourning. It happens sometimes. Where did u see him?
Me: He was....behind me on the mirror ..
He chuckled.
Sandile: See....u didn't see him. u think u saw him. U jus thought of him.
Me: Sandile im not crazy I know what I saw. He was standing behind me in the mirror
and when I looked back he was gone ok.
Sandile: Wow so u actually saw a ghost?
Me: This conversation is closed.
Sandile: Ok cool....
I wonder how Sandile is. How could he be calm when im freaking out? What if I did see
Luvuyo out there? I mean it would make sense right? But as for now, im back to the way
I was. Dull and stressed. What Luvuyo produced out of me ever since I was freed from
him. What I wanted was to be alone. Sandile could see that I was stressing but instead
let me be. We drove in a grave yard silence until I feel asleep in the car. A while after I
felt the car stop. I opened my eyes to realize that we home. I noticed Sandile's jacket on
me. I was cold anyway. How kind of him to think of me.
Sandile: Asambe (lets go)
We got out off the car and walked to the door. The moment it opened,Mrs Shezi came
rushing to us in worry.
Mrs Shezi: Ohh thank God u are safe. Thank God...
Sandile: We fine mama
Mrs Shezi: Do u know what hell I was going through? I even called a search party for u.
Where did u take the poor child? Sandile if u touched her I will strangle u with my both
hands.
Sandile: Wow its what u always think of me right? U think im still that kid of yours with
a drinking issue that always hits his girl whenever he finds it suitable? Shame on u
mama. Ever since u got back with him your turning to be like him. You see me as a
disgrace just like he does!!! Know what, its fine!! Im moving out...
He walked upstairs
Mrs Shezi: Sandile! Sandile! Boy I didn't mean to. Sandile!
She covered her face with her hands.
Me: Its okay ma. He took me out on a date.
She removed them and looked at me astonishly
Mrs Shezi: He....he did
I nodded
Mrs Shezi: Wow...Uhm are u sure?
Me: Think of a reason why I am in his jacket
Mrs Shezi: But he was so angry. Where did he take u?
Me: His secret place of peace. Maybe he has changed or maybe his previous girls would
drive him to that edge that he even beats them up.
Mrs Shezi: U are right.
Me: Can I go to sleep ma?
Mrs Shezi: Yes ofcos.
Me: Goodnight.
Mrs Shezi: Night my daughter...
I smiled and walked towards the stairs..
Mrs Shezi: Sihle?
Me: Ma?
Mrs Shezi: Thank u.
I smiled and continued walking upstairs to my room. I wanted to pass by Sandile's room
but felt like he needed space. I've grown a soft spot for him. Instead I went to my room
and immediately got in my pjs and in the sheets. I thought about what I saw in the mall?
Was Sandile right? Am I losing it?....With those thoughts I drifted off to sleep....
.
.
.
.
.
.
#SANDILE
I got up in the morning to the ringing of my phone. The caller ID showed Achies
numbers and I answered.
Me: Yo
"Ey dawg. Are u still asleep?"
Me: Im awake now...
"*chuckles* U'll never change the habit of sleeping too much"
Me: Arg I needed the rest.
"Like hell u did. I got u an apartment"
I had asked Achie to look for an apartment for me. I wasn't bluffing when I said im
moving out. I can't stand seeing my mother return to what she had always wanted to run
away from. I couldn't stand to see this fake of a happy family...
Me: Is it sizzling?
"*chuckles* U sound like a chick when u say that but yea. Its cool but very small. I'll
figure a nice place for u but in the meantime that place should suit u"
Me: Ey I don't know what to say dawg but thank u for pulling in for me.
"No sweat. But one thing doesn't hit me right....why moved out now? Couldn't u wait
until after Christmas?"
Me: I wouldve killed someone by that time...
" *Chuckles* Yea right. grand dawg. And ow...Merry Christmas"
Me: U outta style bra...
He chuckled and hung up. Yea ....today was indeed Christmas. Usually I'd spend it with
my mom and sister. We'd cook a very delightful lunch full of anything good food u
could think of. That was our Christmas. But now I am disgusted by her decision. Ofcos I
lived with my dad because he fought custody for Nokthula and I against my mom under
false facts about her. Now see why I think its a bad idea? I mean the only reason he
wants her back its coz his reputation is ruined by the wife saga and his pool of cash
might flow away to her. No one anymore wants to associate with him. He was going
down. Exactly what they wanted. They can finish him for all I care... I got up and
headed to the bathroom to take a shower. Mine wasn't really comfortable to be in. I did
so and got out only to come across Sihle on my door.
Sihle: Ohh uhhm I...im sorry I didn't...know...I
Me: Nah its cool.
I was shirtless and wrapped in a towel around my waist. I realized she actually checking
me out. Wow....
Sihle: I...I jus brought ur jacket back.
Me: Ohh its okay. U can keep it for now.
Sihle: R-- Really?
The poor girls speech was breaking. So all girls like good looking guys? :v
Me: Yea. Keep it for me please...
I opened the door
Sihle: Uhh Okay. Oh and Sandile?
Me:yea?
Sihle: Im sorry about the day before yesterday I know the day was perfect until I ruined
it and it was selfish of me to-
Me: I understand Sihle. U've been through enough.
She looked at me and smiled a little then walked away
Me: Sihle?
She turned and looked at me?
Sihle: Yea?
Me: Uhh...Merry Christmas...
She blushed
Sihle: Merry Christmas to u too.
I got in the room and closed the door. I've realized I was wrong about Sihle. I should
have tried to make a relationship with her jus like that? Maybe I needed to bring her
closer to me. And honestly....im falling for her hard....I lotioned and got dressed into a
sleek outfit with some white kicks then took out a bag and started packing. I know its
wrong to move out on Christmas but ey... I don't think I was gonna like this day. I
packed and went downstairs with the bag where mom,Sihle and Nokthula were already
preparing a meal.
Nokthula: U deserve an award for sleeping. Its like close to one o'clock in the after noon
Me: Yea yea yea
The laughed.
Mom: And then? Whats in the bag?
Me: Uhhm. Im moving out remember?
They all looked at me so shocked. I could already see the tears in moms eyes
Sihle; Sandile u don't have to do this.
Me: I have to.
Mom: Shezi. Ngyak'cela (please)
Me: I can't stand it anymore. I had always wanted to move out anyway.....
She looked at me with tears in her eyes. I hated doing this to my mother, but I had to. I
walked up to her and kissed her on the forehead.
Me: I'll visit u okay?
I walked away with her trying to scream out my name. I know this is wrong but I gotta
do it.
While I was walking to my coupe I heard someone call my name behind me only to find
out that its Sihle...
Sihle: Really?? How could u be so unthoughtful?
Me: Sihle not even u will convince me to stay.
Sihle: Okay but where will u go?
Me: Im a man of plans Si.
I opened the trunk and put my bag inside. I turned and she looked at me.
Sihle: U not even gonna wait until tomorrow? She needs u
Me: Shes got dad.
Sihle: Speaking of which he never came back since the day we got off. They said he
tried to look for us but he never came back ever since. His not even picking his phone.
Sandile your mom is stressing..
Me: He could be anywhere. Maybe he wanted an excuse to go out to gamble. Thats
always his trick...
I walked to the car door and opened it then got inside.
Sihle: Sandile it could be more
Me: Sihle im not gonna talk this with u okay? Im moving out. I hate to... but I have to.....
She looked at me.
Sihle: Uhm okay .... I made this for u.
She held out a cupcake that has chocolate coating that wasn't right.
Sihle: I know I suck with coating cream...
Me: Yea u right about that.
Sihle: Hey....
We laughed
Sihle: Yea but I wanted to make something sweet for u knowing your love for sweet
things.
I took it from her hand and took a bite. It was so delicious...
Me: Well it is sweet alright...
She smiled.
Me: I hate to leave u here.
She looked at me
Me: I'll call u okay?
Sihle: Okay. Thanks.
Me: Its cool. Thanks for the muddy delicious cupcake.
Sihle: Hahaha well its a pleasure.
I started the car and asked the guards to open the gate for me.
Me:*singing*" Goodbye...brown eyes ....goodbye"
She laughed..
Sihle: Jus go already..
I smiled and drove up to the road and drove away...........
.
.
.
.
.

INSERT 66......
#SIHLE
I watched Sandiles car drive off to the street glancing at this crazy guy. Sandile was
actually charming in a way. I found myself blushing. I turned my way and walked back
into the house. I faced Mrs Shezi who's eyes seemed disappointed. She seemed dull
already. I could already sense her heavy feeling. She looked at me and I shrugged my
shoulders. I know she probably hoped that I managed to talk him out of it but hey, its
Sandile Shezi we talking about here. The wolds most stubborn guy. She looked down.
Mrs Shezi: Uhm I...im going to lie down abit.
Nokthula: But what about lunch mom?
Mrs Shezi: Uhm do it without me...
She walked upstairs. I noticed shes about to cry
Nokthula: Good job bro. Mxm that guy is selfish.
Me: He isn't. His jus hurt..
Nokthula: Hurt? And now because his hurt our mother should be hurt too?
Me: He'll come around
Nokthula: Say......u becoming closer to him nowadays.
Me: Well he saved my life I owe it to him
Nokthula: Ohh so u making out?
Me: What? No...no we jus uhm...casual friends.
Nokthula: Ohh ok. Still....his selfish. Now dad doesn't wanna come home
Me: Still no luck?
Nokthula: Been trying all morning. So Christmas with mom, dad and that big-headed
boy. Mxm... Imma do my own Christmas...
She took out her phone and started texting.
Nokthula: Boom...There's a turn up at Paris.
Me: Ow nice
Nokthula: Aren't u going? Its been a while
Me: I dont know. It has hardly been 3 weeks since I got discharged from hospital.
Nokthula: Ohh com'on.. U wont die...
Me: Okay fine.
Nokthula: Great. Lets go....
We went upstairs and prepared for the party. I got dressed in a hugging black dress and
gold stilettos, gold bracelet, gold earings and applied light make up with bright red
lipstick. Yea lately iv been pimped. My ladies know class. I took off my marriage
bracelet, I never do this but I felt like its craping my style. We got done and went out....
.
.
.
.
#Sandile
I told Achie to sms me the address of the apartment which he did. I got to the place, it
was jus a flat around Randburg. Part of me regretted leaving home but a big part of me
wanted to be far away from what was happening. I didn't want to be stuck in the box
whereas I have to rescue mom from dad again coz this time I hate the guy to bits, I
wouldn't hesitate pulling a trigger on him. I might kill him for real and that might cause
me alot of trouble. His connected. Even though im his son but there are people who'd
jump to kill the person who killed him. William being one..... I got to the gate and it
opened. I drove in and parked exactly next to where Achie parked his ford fiesta and got
out the car.
Me: Dawg u need to get ur car pimped. This is a granny's car.
Achie: Pss yea right. Imma do that as soon as I roll up alotta cash.
Me: I hope thats soon.
Achie: Soon huh.... Dude uhhm..I been thinking man.
Me: Yea?
Achie: I want in in the fusion ish.
Me: What?
Achie: Yea I mean Luvuyo used to make about 150k.
Me: Man the drug business ain't cool yo especially my dads.
Achie: I know...But. com'on bra. Imagine all the cash we could make?
Me: What happend to u guys bombing up ATMs?
Achie: Thats childish. Every gangster does that. I want hardcore.
Me: Ey dude I don't know. Hitting people for not paying and all. It don't hit me right...
Achie: U cool coz ur dad owns it and plus u about to be a qualified lawyer while I still
have 2 years left before I be a qualified doctor and the cash tjo... I cant even treat Naledi.
Me: Ayt I hear u. I'll see what I can do. So this is it?
Achie: Yea. 2 bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen,a toilet,a sitting room and a balcony.
Me: Small but its cool. Thanks bra.
Achie: No sweat. It was my uncle's. And ohh. I tried to clean it a little for u. I put his
trash in one bedroom.
Me: Its cool man as long as im outta that house.....
We took my belongings from my car and headed to 'my' flat. It wasn't my kinna style but
it was ayt. I put my bags in my bedroom.
Achie: Yo dawg.... Its turning up at Paris.
Me: Oh yea?
Achie: Yea. The guys are there...Naledi went home so LADIES... IM YOURS..!!!
Me: Hahaha. U'l never change.
Achie: Lets go bra.
Me: yo Lemme rock up dressed attractively....
I walked over to my bedroom and changed into a black skinny jean,a black shirt with a
big gold lion print infront and hit a black snap cap facing backwards that had animal
print decoration then topped it with black kicks.
Achie: Lets go
We got out of the flat and headed downstairs.
Achie: Uhh we going....with ur coupe.... right? I mean....ain't no chick wanna roll in a
fiesta.
I laughed
Me: That'll teach u to stay faithful.
Achie: As if u do too...
Me: Ey im single man...
Achie: What? u got a wife dude
Me: Lets not go there....
He laughed....
We got in my car and I drove out to the club......
.
.
.
#SIHLE
I was standing over the bar with Nokthula and Tanya. Well yea I finally did forgive the
girls. I know they did me wrong and probably don't deserve my forgiveness but its in the
past. Forgive and forget. We were at the bar drinking up and gosh...all guy's heads were
on us. Especially me. My dress was short and well my legs are attractive.
Tanya: This place ain't the same without Olwethu.
Me: Where is she anyway?
Tanya: Home. Still sulking bout her bro.
Me: Ow...
Nokthula: Com'on...really?? Where are the cute guys in this club?
Me: Aren't u taken?
Nokthula: Mxxm that nigga cheated.
Me: Ouch
Tanya: Same applies to me. So we free for the night...
Suddenly the ladies of the club started making noise. We looked up and turns out they
were screaming at some guys.
Nokthula: Great..they here. Perfect.
I looked at the guys and it turns out it was Rodney,Kaybee,Siya,some guy and to my
surprise Sandile,more to that his outfit matched with mine...They looked hella hot... All
the ladies were screaming like crazy. At some point I felt jealous. They settled
themselves at a chilling spot with a couch.
Nokthula: Its what they want. They want all the ladies to see them so they fuck with
them then say they threw themselves at them. Mxm...
She sounded pissed.
We continued drinking until at some point, Siya and Rodney stood up and walked our
way.
Tanya: They better not be coming here.
Well they actually came to us.
Siya: Hi ladies...
Me: Hi.
Nokthula and Tanya remained silent.
Siya: Thula can we talk?
Nokthula: No...
Siya: Please...
Tanya: She said no.
Rodney: Don't fiddle in coz same applies to u.
Tanya: We gonna leave our friend here for yall?
Me: I'll be fine.
Siya: See. Come...
Nokthula: U sure?
Me: Yea...
She looked at me and walked away with Siya while Tanya went with Rodney. I faced
forward until I felt a touch on my waist.
"U look sexy.Damn"
I looked back and it was Tshepo.
Me: Dare put ur hands on me again!!!!
I smacked them off....
Tshepo: Still like playing hard chick? Shhh Sexy...
Me: Leaving me alone.
Tshepo: Not when u this sexy. Tonight u mine.
Me: Keep dreaming..
Tshepo: Imma make sure of that.
Suddenly someone cleared their throat, I looked back and it was Sandile. Great... He
looked at Tshepo straight in the eyes then at me.
Tshepo: Ey bro ...
Sandile: Don't fucken bro me.
Tshepo: No hard feelings.
Sandile: Disappear
Tshepo: I was jus trynna like catch up with her u kn-
Sandile: Tshepo fuck off I wanna talk to my wife!!!
Tshepo: Eyy okay.
He looked at me with a smirk and walked away. I faced Sandile who wasn't really
looking pleased.
Me: Hey...
Sandile: Whats wrong with u? U now whoring?
Me: Excuse me?
Sandile: U dressed in a short dress, showing ur legs to everyone..
Me: Sandile...Hehe.... From when do u have the privilege to judge me?
Sandile: U ain't got a month since u got out from hospital and here u are flirting around
with guys like Tshepo...Jus when I thought u the sweetest most innocent girl but u jus a
loose screw. Luvuyo was right to do all that to u!!!!
Out of the blue I found myself giving him a very hot slap.
Me: How dare u!!???
He held his cheek and looked at me.
Sandile: Don't ever do that...
How dare he? After I thought his a cool guy? I couldn't handle it anymore. I walked
away from the club and went outside. The backyard. It was dark and secretive, probably
dangerous. But I wanted to be alone. I was heartbroken. How could Sandile say that to
me? He saw how drained I was. He saw how pale I was. My womb even got sacred
because of Luvuyo. Does he even know why Luvuyo did all that to me? He doesn't even
know that he was behind the divorce Saga. I was hurt and abused coz I knew a secret
that could make a breakthrough for his father's wealth. I found myself crying. I heard
footsteps coming my way. I didn't even wanna look up. I jus felt down....
Tshepo: Shem u poor thing...Hubby hurt ur feelings again?
Me: Tshepo go away...
Tshepo: I have a way of making u feel better...
He slowly came closer to me with his brewery aroma. I couldn't know what he was
intending. He lifted up my face and kissed me. I tried pushing him off but again, this guy
has strength. I was like a bicycle infront of a bus.
Me:Mmmh...!!!Leav''!!me..ahh...
He held my hands tightly towards the wall.
Tshepo: Com'on baby. Com'on.
I looked down and he was already taking off his pants.
Me: Uh uh...uh uh....Tshepo let me go!!!!!!
He didn't seem to be listening. He was crouching his knees on my legs so they wouldn't
move. His hand made its way to my dress and pulled it up. Oh no...Its real...His trynna
rape me....
Me: Tshepo!!!!Tshepo don't do this....Please don't!!
I was terrified and crying. I couldn't believe the scene happening to me right now. Why
is my life always complicated? I tried fighting his but I was weak aswell. My hands
were both held against the wall tightly with his one hand while the other was pulling up
my dress ...
Me: Help!!!!Help me his raping me!!!
Tshepo: Shut up!
Me:Help!!
He suddenly hit me with his head hard on my nose. The pain I felt at that moment was
undescribable. My body was pressed on the wall hurting my wounds including where I
was operated. I felt hot liquid fall off my nose. It hurt so bad I couldn't even shout out a
cry. I jus cried...He lowered his pants and kissed my neck roughly while I felt his other
hand trying to take off my bikini.
Me: No...please Dont...no....
Tshepo: U gonna enjoy this...
He lowered it and revealed my private part...
Me:Noo!!! please....
My cry was nothing to him. He jus went on like I was encouraging him. He roughly
picked up my legs so they could wrap around his waist and held me against the wall
even tighter. Roughly he inserted his finger around my private part...
Me: Ahhh Tshepo don't do this!!!!!
Tshepo: Shut the fuck up!!!!!
"Son of a bitch!!!"
Suddenly Tshepo was hit so hard that he departed from me to the floor and I fell to the
ground with great pain and trauma. I quickly dressed up my bikini but couldnt help the
sorrow I had at that moment....
Sandile: Are u okay?
I couldn't help but cry. Ive never cried so much in my entire life ...
Me: He tried.....he ....he...
Sandile instantly stood up and walked over to Tshepo and gave him one hell of a great
kick.
Sandile: U fucken rape these days!!!!huh!!!
He kicked him again and again numerously and without mercy. He was killing him
Tshepo: Sandile!!!!Sorry....I....I didn't mean to!!!!Ahhh
Sandile didn't seem to care. He was kicking his so hard, his blood was spreading around
the floor. He was literally killing him..
Sandile: U wanna fuck my wife!!!!huh?
Me: Sandile....
He didn't attend me. He continued hitting him without any mercy. I then felt pale and
dull. I felt numb and really weak.
Me: Sandile....
I shut my eyes and it was lights out...........
.
.
.
.
.

INSERT 67.......
#SANDILE
Tshepo: Snyder....Bra u know u and I have been friends for a long time man please don't
do this...
Achie: Ey ey shut up!!! Bloody rapist...
Tshepo: I didn't mean to hurt her man I mean-
Achie gave him a good punch.
Tshepo: Ahh!!
I looked at him with a very serious look. I couldn't believe this guy. What I saw him do
has my blood boil. Im ready to blood spill around. I hate the fact that he forces himself
on a woman. Worse than that, my wife.
Me: T.....My man. Give me one good reason why I should spare ur life...Huh....
He looked at me with blood flowing from his mouth. I had already hit out two incisor
teeth from his mouth. Im so disgusted by him in a way that I could jus strangle him right
now.
Tshepo: Snyder.....Im sorry. Il move out of town and never come back again. I swear...
Achie: Ey thula!! Could we jus cut the tongue outta this guy..?
Me: Chill bra. Im still thinking of how to deal with with this nigga right here....
Tshepo: Wait....Sny I'll do anything for u to spare me. I'll apologise to her, I'll break up
with Roxy. She can be urs. Shes bad news. Shes the one who wrote about ur marriage on
Twitter.. Please dude. please....
Achie: Jus shoot him dawg. We in the middle of the bushes far away from the club man
it will look like he had too much to drink and got roughed up by people.
Me: Great idea.
I went straight into hitting him. The anger I carried in me was so vigorous that I didn't
feel a pain when my knuckles hit up a bone in him. I wanted the nigga dead at that
moment. He continued crying out for mercy,his voice jus made me even more angry. It
jus reminded me of Sihles cry. I jus got even more angered and powered up my strikes
to him. Achie and I continued roughing him up until he stopped moaning.
Achie: Woah stop stop bra...
I backed up.
Achie: His dead.
I took a look at him. He was motionless with blood all over him. He looked dead indeed.
Achie knelt down with a cloth wet with liquor and dapped it around his face. He does
this to remove any evidence of finger print on his skin. He then broke a bottle of liquor
and put the opening on Tshepo's hand to make it look like he was buttered up while he
was drinking. He sprinkled the rest of his upper body with liquor too. He then took a
piss jus so it can make up so assumption that he came here to pee... This guy was a
pretty good murderer...
Achie: Its done. Lets go man...
I took a look at him first.
Me: First he lies to my face and plays me by sleeping with my ex girlfriend. Then he
tries to rape my wife. My wife! Nxl...
I turned around and started walking out the woods.
Me: Wheres my wife?
Achie: I sent my pal to take her home. He says he got his girl to clean her up and they
gave her some sleeping pill so she could rest so shes good for now.
Me: Shes at my flat?
Achie: Yep.
Me:I don't know how to thank u bra.
Achie: I always got yo back man. Ey... Put that on the consideration of the business.
Me: Il think of it.
Achie:Thanks thanks....
We got to the parking of the club and got in the car and drove to my flat. We got there
and he got in his car.
Achie: Here are ur keys man and please...Burn those bloody clothes.
Me: Ayt sho.
He started his car and he drove away. I walked up the stairs and made my way to my
flat. I got in and locked then instantly went to check on Sihle. I walked in the bedroom
and she was sleeping quietly on my bed dressed in pjs. Trust Achie with getting the job
done. I went over to her and sat next to her.... She was sleeping innocently. I somehow
felt so sorry for her. The pity and guilt I felt inside was sour. I had never felt this way
towards any other person than my mother.
Me: Im sorry.. U told me about him and I didn't believe u. Im sorry. I....I love u and
wont ever let anything or anyone harm u...
I moved my head over to her and kissed her forehead. I got up,undressed and hit a very
long shower. I jus wanted to wash away all the feelings I felt. Feelings of guilt and
disappointment and anger. I don't know what I'd say to her when she wakes up. How do
I console her? I know for sure shes one hell of a crying girl. How do I wipe away her
pain when she herself cant let me in her life? I got done and went out of the shower. I
got in my short and vest then entered the sheets. The other bedroom was crouded with
things in it, I had no better place to sleep in. I stared at her pretty self peacefully
sleeping. Atleast for once I did something for her after all that she has been through......
Slowly I drifted off to sleep......
.
.
.
.
#Sihle....
I slowly opened my eyes to the beam of light that was coming in from what seemed to
be a window. I opened my eyes to observe my environment. I was in a room I didn't
know. I couldn't even make out how I got here. I felt someone breathing behind me and
it was Sandile. The moment I saw him, I remembered what happend. Ohh...How tragic
that was for me. My soul ripped apart. I don't know why most bad things happen to me.
Yesterday I let the pervert Tshepo go too far. And its all my fault. If only I wasn't
there..If only had I stayed back home. If only I had not met him before, if only I
disagreed the moment I was brought here. Maybe I wouldve been fine. The city is not
for me. Iv been hurt badly, abused, tied like a dog, drugged, beaten up and now almost
raped. Why am I here? I can't take it anymore. I felt tears flowing down my cheeks. I
wanted to cry my lungs out, but I didn't want to wake Sandile up. I dont even wanna
assume how I got to be with him here in this room. I slowly got off the bed and tip toed
to the door....
Sandile: The toilet is at the second door on ur right.
I frightenly stopped. I thought he was asleep. I turned to look at him.
Me: Uhhm.
He turned to face me.
Sandile: Uhm morning
Me: Morning. T.....thanks for the ...the direction....
Sandile: Cool....
I turned around and made my way down the passage and found the toilet. I got in and
couldn't stop the tears. I cried like it was worth my life. I had never felt reaping pain like
this before. Almost losing my virgity against my will to a pervert. I curse all his days. I
spent like 30 minutes in the bathroom,surprisingly Sandile didn't even knock. I washed
my face and dragged myself to the kitchen where I smelled an aroma of eggs. Sandile
was making breakfast. As soon as I got in he passed me a cup of coffee.
Me: Uhm thanks but-
Sandile: U need it. I added extra sugar.
I didn't further disagree I jus drank up. The coffee actually calmed me down abit,but not
enough to erase what happened last night. He passed me a plate of food filled with
toast,fried eggs, bacon, Russian and a few chips. It all looked great, at any moment id
jump right in. But...I didn't feel like digesting anything.
Me: Uhm thank u but....im good.
Sandile: Sihle....eat...please...
Me: Sandile im full.
Sandile: Please...
Me: Sandile!...
He looked at me. One thing I like about him is that he cares, even though he seems not
to but he does. He got closer to me until his body was directly attached to mine.
Sandile: I know it hurts....I know it does....
I couldn't help but cry. I jus let the tears fall.
Sandile: Please dont cry ok? Im sorry for everything.
Me: He tried to rape me
Sandile: I know and I'll nevr ever let anyone ever hurt u again. U hear me? Never...
Me: But how will I overcome this? Its jus too much.... I thought the flipping cleansing
was going to make things better!!!!
I broke down and cried. He came to me and wrapped his arms around me....
Sandile: I can help u overcome it. I can be there for u, support u even get u a shrink....
Sihle I care about u...and... I love u...
I looked at him...
Sandile: Yes...I really do. And I cant pretend anymore. I want us to officially be
together... and this time Im begging u my love... Im begging u.
This is a moment I couldn't believe. The words are finally breathed out of his mouth.
Me: I......
Sandile: If u need more time, its okay.
Me: Can u take me home?
Sandile: Uhm okay..
I could see in his eyes that his disappointed. At first I did want this but now everything
is jus damaged. My mind is too shattered to lock myself in love. I have alot to overcome
and I don't want to jump into love with fresh scars and open wounds... I attempted to
walk away from the kitchen....
Sandile: Sihle......
Me: Mmh?
Sandile: Uhm....where ur Lubambo?
Me: My what?
Sandile: Ur wedding wrist band. Its called Lubambo.
Me: Uhh.... Its....at home
Sandile: But u never take it off.
Me: I jus took it off for a night.
Sandile: Ohh
I walked out at that moment. It amazed me that he notices that I always wear it while iv
never seen him wearing it. Only on some occasions but I think it was for dressing up
purposes. I went back to the room to find something to wear. I saw the dress I wore last
night with dust. This dress brought the tragic memory to my brain. I wasn't interested in
wearing it. I went back to kitchen.
Me: Can u borrow me some of ur clothes?
Sandile: Yea ofcos.
He lead the way and I followed. He went to a bag on the floor that looked like the one he
carried yesterday. I guess he never had time to unpack. He took out a tracksuit...
Sandile: This is the only thing I think will fit u.
Me: Thanks.
Sandile: There are my sandles.
Me: Oh ok.
Sandile: Ok sure....
He looked at me and went out. I realized hes actually hurting inside too. I hate it though.
I jus hate it when I am pitied over. it always hits me wrong. I got dressed in the grey and
blue tracksuit. I didn't know where to take the pjs since there weren't mine. I opened the
laundry basket and my eyes feasted themselves on the black gold lion printed shirt that
had traces of red. It seemed like blood. This was the shirt he was wearing yesterday.
Why is it covered in blood? I guess he and Tshepo got on a bad fight. I put the pjs in
there and walked out.
Me: Im done.
Sandile: I thought u were taking a shower first.
Me: Il do that at home.
He kept silent
Sandile: Uhm lemme go and change then.
He quickly went up to change. I looked around the flat in the meantime. It looked like it
was occupied by someone older. But it was neat and nice.... Sandile came in after 5
minutes dressed in a nike short and a white vest. He grabbed his keys.
Sandile: Asambe(Lets go)
I lead the way and he followed. All that was between us was silence. He didn't say
anything, neither did I say anything. Over the past weeks hes grown comfortable around
me, by now he would've tried to make a joke or something but no. He was jus quiet,
which was I wanted. I let him lead the way to his car as soon as we got downstairs. He
unlocked and we got in, then drove out. I felt heavy in me. I felt like my whole body has
been placed under a rock. How do I get a miracle? In my mind the view that came in
was the club and Tshepo, and the shirt...The shirt!....
Me: Uhmm Sandile?
Sandile: Yea?
Me: Uhm. What happend last night?
He cleared his throat
Sandile: What do u mean?
Me: It doesn't make sense. How did I come here and what happend to....him
Sandile: Uh....
He seemed uneasy
Sandile:U fainted and I brought u to my flat.... and...and him...
His faced seemed tense coming to HIM.
Sandile: Why are u asking about him?
Me: I saw ur shirt and its bloody...
He sat upstraight looking really uneasy...
Me: Did u fight with him?
I looked at his knuckles and they were red....
Me: Sandile....U didn't have to...
Sandile: What?
Me: U hit him right?
Sandile: He deserved it.
I looked at him. A part of me wanted to say u did good but to that I remember him
saying something about an assault case the previous year and that it might repeat again,
hit home.
Me: U could get arrested for assault.
Sandile: I wont
Me: ..but.....why?
Sandile: He hurt u Sihle. One thing il never forgive myself for.
I looked at him and he seemed sincere. I didn't know what to say, all I felt was the salty
liquid flowing from my eyes.
Sandile: He wont ever hurt u again. I swear....
I looked aside and kept quiet. How does he know that he wont. What if he turns out to
be another Luvuyo?... I looked out the window and kept silent till we got home. The
guards opened up and he drove in.
Sandile: I can't take u inside. I don't face mom.
Me: Uhm thank u for what u did.
Sandile: Its the least I can do...
I opened the door and got out. Jus as I was about to walk away...
Me: Sandile....
Sandile: Sihle....
Me: I .....I'll consider it....
Sandile: Consi--- o...ohh....
I looked away and walked to the door leaving him to gaze at the moment. I opened the
door and got it. I found Nokthula sitting on the kitchen table drinking wine. Too early in
the morning. The moment her eyes were set to me, she ran up to me and gave me a very
tight squeeze....
Nokthula: I was so worried about u!
Me: Im okay....
Wait....she already knows?
Nokthula: I couldn't think of forgiving myself if u were murdered or something...Do u
know there are a number of people who get murdered in the club? When I couldn't see u
anymore I couldn't stop thinking about what might've happend to u.... I was so...soo
worried...
Great....she doesn't know....
Me: Nokthula I can't breathe....
She let go of me.
Nokthula: Im glad u okay. Yoh I dont know what mom wouldve done to me if I really
lost u in the club. Or Sandile...
Me: Im fine Thula...Wheres ma?
Nokthula: She sent me a text saying she went to spend Christmas at her relatives...
Me: Good...
She looked at me.
Nokthula: wait....So where did u go exactly? U dressed in a guys outfit.... say....u scored
one didn't u?
Me: Uhm Thula im exhausted imma go and lie down okay....
Nokthula: Ohho....okay....Rough night for u.
I said in a low voice: U have absolutely no idea.
I walked up the stairs.
Nokthula: Hey....That tracksuit kinna looks familiar.!..
Me: See u later Nokthula!
I quickly walked to my room. I immediately got off the tracksuit and hit the bathtub. I
needed a long bath to drown my sorrows in. I fill the bath with bubbles and sank in.
Thinking about my life as a whole while holding my Lubambo looking at it with full
attention. Reminiscing all the events that happend in my life. It hit me that Madipila was
right. My life was a wreck because I can't accept my calling. The calling of me being
with Sandile. Is everything going to be okay if I be with him? I too have grown deep
feelings for him...What if....Very big if......What if I'll be happy with him...?.......
.
.
.
.
.
.

INSERT 68......
I was asleep when I suddenly felt a creepy feeling. I felt like someone was staring at me.
I opened my eyes abit and saw a structure of a person. I closed them and opened them
again and indeed a person was there. Sandile was there if I should say. He was staring at
me. The moment I looked at me he smiled.
Sandile: Hey sleepy head...
I got up...
Me: Hey...
Sandile: Hi...
Me: W..what are u doing here? Especially in my room?
Sandile: Ohh err I... I tried calling u and I realized u left ur phone at my flat. So I
thought I should bring it to u. But u've been asleep for the past hours.
Me: Ow...
He gave it to me.
Me: Thanks ey...
Sandile: No sweat. So...why are u asleep this afternoon...
I looked at the sheets. I had drunk some sleeping pills. Iv been asleep in the night and
through. I jus thought it would perhaps ease up my pain but nah....
Sandile: Sihle....
I kept quiet...
Sandile: Pumpkin
I looked at him
Me: That name though...
Sandile: U a pumpkin.
Me: Com'on
Sandile: U should take notice of ur skin colour. Its as peach as a butternut...
Me: Yea yea...
Sandile: Are u okay though?
Me: Sandile how does one get over attempted rape? Its all over my head. Its in my
conscious. I can't even sleep in the dark. And ive been having this wierd dream. Like
one moment im in the woods feeling cold,the next im running away from something and
I fall in a river. I don't understand whats going on with me. I jus...don't....
U broke down. He got on the bed and leaned me on his chest for me to cry on it. I was
sad honestly..The pains in me were jus so ignorant.
Sandile: Calm down...okay...U'l be okay. U'l be okay. I promise....
I kept silent.
Sandile: Can I tell u...one of the most tragic moments in my life?
I nodded...
Sandile: Well.... There was this girl in high school... Oddy...
Young,cute,brave,intelligent and honest. She was the sweetest. My friend. She was the
biggest tomboy in town. Then there was this guy..Jus a guy with gansterish behavior.
She used to tell me that they bother her on the way to school. I'd somehow try to observe
their problem but I was more into my business... One afternoon when we got out from
after studies,around 4 she asked me to walk her home. I had scored a chick and promised
her that I'd take her out. I declined. She begged me saying shes afraid of those niggas.
But I was too stubborn to take it to head and let her walk home alone. Biggest mistake.
Well on her way home, they stopped her and somehow had a strategy of fixing girls who
try to be boys. So they....-
He started getting emotional but hid it. I could tell what he was saying hit him deep
inside..
Sandile: They gang raped her...All 8 of them. She felt scattered. Was powerless... She
couldn't even face the world. When I had realized what my mistake was, it was too late.
She.. hung herself on the fan. Dressed in her bloody school hemp and dark blue chino
trouser. Even today I cant forgive myself thinking is maybe I jus took jus 30 minutes to
walk her home, she would've been alive. Maybe if I was there for her as she was with
me, always saving me outta trouble whenever two chicks that I was dating at the same
time would plot against me. She was my homie. And for once she needed me, I couldn't
be there for her....
His eyes had tears in them. It was truly sad to listen to.
Me: Thats sad...Im sorry..
He looked at me...
Sandile: Its cool. But this...this is a reason I dont want u to shut me out. I'd hate myself if
I fail u too. U turned to mean much to me.
Me: Really?
Sandile: Im as real as the sky. Every tear u shed should land on my shirt. Every pain u
feel should be mutual to me too. I want to be there...For u.....
I looked at him deep in the eyes. We kept a constant eye contacting. Slowly....his head
leaned over to mine until our lips were almost a cm apart. I could feel his breath....
Sandile: Would u let me?
I looked at his eyes still. Reading his sadness and sincerity through his iris. I felt a
feeling in me. A jumpy one.... His lips got closer again and touched mine. He bit my
lower lip,in a romantic way though and kept staring at me. I went in for it and closed my
eyes to allow us to have a change of movements between our lips. I kissed his
sweet,warm and soft tender lips. Within every second I felt like shivers were going
down my spine. Something was jus so different about his kiss. It was more than jus a
kiss.... like a connection went through it. We got disturbed by a ring on the door
downstairs. I slowly pulled out.
Sandile: It can wait....
Me: I...uh.it...y
I was so speechless. I jus felt like getting more of his kisses..
Me: Imma d..o it...
I got up from the bed and got dressed in my gown and went out. What was that? I don't
know but I somehow yearned for him. In a way more than jus a kiss.... I walked down
the stairs and walked to the door where I found the guard.
Him: Afternoon madame
Me: Afternoon
Him: Uhm Miss Roxy is here to see u.
Me: Roxy?
Him: Yes mam.
Me: Jus call me Rele- uhm I mean Sihle. What does she want?
Him: She doesnt wanna say. Shes causing a havoc out there saying she needs to see u.
Me: Ok uhm...let her in...
He walked away to the gate. I slowly walked to the dinning room. Roxy?What the heck
does she want from me? Perhaps the guard heard wrong. Shes probably here for
Sandile.... I heard her talking in a loud voice as she entered dressed in a very short and
tight skirt and croptop with heavy make up on her very dark skin...
Roxy: Yaah...u...!!!
Me: Me?
Roxy: Yaz I never knew u were slutty. First u fiddle urself with my man and took him
away from me and now its another?
Me: Woah....wait...the heck u talking about now?
Roxy: Wheres Tshepo?
Me: What?
Roxy: Is he upstairs? Coz I need to tell him shit right now...
Me: What are u talking about?
Roxy: Ow don't u get all Holy innocent coz sweety the only holy innocent shit imma
show u is a round of battering u infront of him! Where is he!!!?
Me: Roxy I don't know what u talking about!
Roxy: Lemme ler u know then...
She got closer and as she came to me, someone cleared their throat from the stairs. We
looked at Sandile.
Sandile: Roxanne? Ufunani la (what are u doing here? )"
Roxy: U here?
Sandile: Heheh where would I be? this is my house. And u raising ur ugly voice. At my
house for that matter....
He walked down the stairs and came to us...
Sandile: I asked u again ...Ufunani la?
Roxy: Im here to fix up a bitch
Sandile: If u ain't careful? u the one whos gonna get fixed.
Roxy: I wanna know where Tshepo is....
Sandile froze. Like he got slapped by a tornado or something.
Sandile: what do u mean uhm...He..he doesn't live here. He has no relationship with
anyone here
Roxy: Maybe he does. Well he was last seen at the club touching this filthy missy here.
Me: W. what?
Sandile: Roxy leave
Roxy: No..I wanna know where his hiding him. I've always suspected that shes no good
the moment she got here. She first went after u, now Tshepo?Whats ur problem bitch u
trynna be me? U far from being in my league.
Me: Roxy I have not seen him. And I have no relationship with him.
Roxy: Com'on Reloba Relobe or whatever ur name is. I saw u with my two eyes. Sandile
was even shouting at u. Then u left. And he followed. But the both of u never returned. I
know what I saw Relobation!!! Now its two days after the party and hes no where to be
found. His phone ain't responding and he ain't coming home.
Sandile: Roxanne I said leave!!!!
Roxy: Ohh... I will leave. Its only a matter of time before u come rushing to me...
She walked over to him...
Roxy: Baby ...I still love u and value u most. So im giving u this chance to change ur
mind and let us be together again and forget about it all...
Sandile: Pshh hehehe u really think I'd do that? Roxy ...baby..U were nothing to me. Jus
a trophy girlfriend I was happy to snatch outta Vuyo's arms. Get it? Nothing. Now get ur
ass outta here..
Roxy: Yea one u used to tap bloody sex addict. Im leaving. And u princess....u'll get
whats in store for u...
Sandile: Ohh and pull that Twitter stunt again and imma break ur fingers. Understand?
She suddenly looked stunned then turned her and walked.
Sandile: Roxie....?
She turned slowly turned witha little smirk.
Roxy: Wow u changed ur mind so fast?
Sandile: Well....nah....I jus wanted to advice u to stop wearing short things on those
black poles u got legs. U look like Chinese chopsticks when u walk.
Roxy: Arrg!!!!
She turned and walked out quickly. Sandile had a laugh. The sight of her irritation was
comedy to him. I couldn't laugh.... He looked at me and stopped laughing
Sandile: Don't let her get to u...
Me: Tshepo's missing???
Sandile: None of our concern.
Me:Since the night?
Sandile: Uhm....
Me: But ...how? He isn't even gonna apologise to me for his shit..
He came closer to me
Sandile: Hey...don't worry about him. U wont be hearing from him ever again....
Me: nah but.....W...wait a minute...What do u mean never again? U
..u were the last person to talk to him. U...u beat him up.
Sandile: hey...hey....easy...
Me: Sandile....What did u do to him?
He kept quiet.
Me: Sandile im asking u!
He looked aside.
Me: Does....does it have anything to do with the blood shirt?
Sandile: Sihle... I jus...lost it
Me: Oh my God...Oh my God Sandile what did u do to him!!?
He kept quiet.
Me: No...no don't tell me u did..Np u...u didn't kill him
He swallowed hard and kept quiet.
Me: How could u!!!!!!?
Sandile: I jus did. I couldn't stand the thought of him living knowing what he did to u
Me: Sandile u cant take the life of another!!!!!! U are not God!!!!!
Sandile: I did it for u
Me: Wow....now its two pepple that u've killed. So they'll never be a nice and normal
guy in Johburg.
Im done...Im...im terribly powerless.
Sandile:Sihle take this in a positive way?
Me: Hehehe whats so positive about stealing another person chance in life? Hehehe...
Sandile: Sihle....I did it coz I love u.
Me: Love...Sandile what if u end up killing me too? Am I even safe to be ur real wife?
Sandile: Don't talk like that
Me: U once pointed a gun on me.
Sandile: yea and thats months ago.
Me: not convinced
Sandile: Im willing to do whatever
Me: Go....
Sandile: Sihle. u cant be
Me: Now!Leave!
Sandile: Its my crib too.
I looked at him and walked upstairs as he shouted my name out. Sandile is a murderer?
Wow. I couldn't believe him. I got in my room and went straight into my misery.....
.
.
.
.

INSERT 69......
#SANDILE
For some reason I didn't understand why I told Pumpkin the truth. I wasn't really the
type to telling my sins out to my chicks. Don't take me wrong, I ain't a murderer. I only
beat them up when they piss me. It only comes to a point of killing when they really
push me off guard. Like the guys that caused Oddy's death. I waited for hours jus for her
to come out of her room but she didn't. I don't understand why me killing Tshepo would
make her angry. I mean, I would be happy if a person who's done me wrong was dead.
Sihle's jus too soft. It was now getting dark and I had been waiting in the lounge for her
to come out of her room. I didn't wanna come across my mom or dad for that matter,I
decided I should head back to my flat. I stood up, switched off the Tv and walked
towards the door. I heard footsteps coming from downstairs and I turned to look at her.
Sandile: Uhm Sihle
She jus kept quiet. She looked terrible. I could tell shes been crying. I jus wish she'd let
me be there for her. I looked at her.
Me: Pumpkin I did it for u
Sihle: Don't u dare involve me in this.
Me: I had to make him pay...
Sihle: But to kill him!!?
I kept quiet....
Sihle: Are u going to give urself to the police?
Me: What? Hell no...
Sihle: U have to...
Me: Ok ok Sihle I know this is awkward and too much to accept but to get myself
arrested? Thats Bull I ain't doing that wassup with u!!!!!!
I didn't know where that came from...She turned around and rushed upstairs..I tried
shouting her name but it was pointless. Honestly im about to give it in. Sihle doesn't
seem to wanna be with me. No matter how much I try to prove my love to her and how I
am prepared to be hers. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I godda be a
gentleman and give her the space she needs.
I took my car keys and got in my car and left......................................
.
.
"Hello"
Me: mmh?
Achie: Are u even listening to me?
Me: U were saying?
Achie: Wow u weren't listening...Dude I cant start over again...
Me: Lets leave it then.
Achie: Ayt...Well breaking news...
Me: Shoot...
Achie: The dude's body has been found...
Me: What? When was this?
Achie: This afternoon. Was found by some couple trynna get naughty in the woods.
Hehehehe I mean who does that? hehehe I wanna try it out with Naledi. She gon be like
"Are u high? " Hahaha
Me: Yea yea dog do they have any suspects?
Achie: Nah. Dude com'on its in the woods and the alcohol I sprinkled messed up with
any DNA contact connected to us.
Me: We can never be sure man
Achie: Whats up with u anyway?
Me: Uhmm...She knows...
Achie: Who knows what?
Me: Sihle. She knows about the murder...
Achie: The hell!!!?How?
Me: Well she ain't a stupid girl. She saw the clothes, heard about his disappearance,put
two and two together and got it. I couldn't deny. She had it all figured out.
Achie: I hope u'll cool her
Me: Ey I don't know poi coz she was saying things about turning myself in and all...
Achie: What? Dude u better do something bout that. She might flop us up.
Me: I pray she doesn't. I pray...
He looked at me.
Achie: Yea yea do that. Im out. Godda go home. Ledi's waiting for me...
Me: Ayt man..Take care..
We did a handshake
Achie: Ayt and please do something bout ur wife please
Me: I'll try.
He went out and I locked the door.
This was the first time something like this has happend. I don't know what to do or how
to react. I hit up the fridge and took the beers I bought yesterday and drank them up. I
jus felt emotions that had never been there in me. I drank them up until I passed out on
the sofa.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
#SIHLE
I woke up the next day in early hours of the morning. Not that I had something to do, I
jus couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about Tshepo and the fact that his no more because of
me. I know what he did was wrong and probably deserves much but he didn't deserve to
die. Is that the type of person Sandile is? That always solves a situation with violence?
What if I be with him and I cheat?Will he kill the dude? I don't want to be in a position
that people are murdered and their blood lies on my hands. Thats not life. And to be
honest, I had grown to love Sandile...Like really, I kinna love him. But with this...This is
a problem that I don't know how to solve. I got tired of sitting up and I decided to watch
tv. I got up and headed to the lounge and watched some sopies. I got to watch this sopie
called NCIS. Well good investigations are going on there and at the end they are caught.
Its also a matter of time Sandile got caught. What if I do it for him? I mean... I should
get him arrested? Not that I want him gone but he has to pay for his sins. For killing both
Luvuyo and Tshepo. He needs to be stopped. I can't handle this news it jus burns me
inside. I have to do it. That way he'll learn never to take away someone elses life
because of anger. He might do this to another.... I got up and switched off the tv and
headed to take a shower. After showering I lotioned and dressed in a puma tracksuit and
Nike sneakers and wore a benie. When I was done I headed downstairs. Wait....how was
I gonna get to the police station? I thought for a while and remembered that there are 3
cars in the garage. I went to the garage and saw 3 keys to an AMG, an X6 and a mazda
3... Well I don't have a license but I knew how to drive. Luvuyo taught me a little. I took
the Mazda keys and got in the car. It was dusty,to show that no one has been driving it
for a while. I started the engine. I don't know what I was doing. I hope I don't hurt
myself. I slowly stepped on the accelerator and accelerated out of the garage. The guard
shockly look at it and opened the gate. I continued until it hit the road. I held my heart as
I was driving. I had so much fear for being caught driving without a license or even
worse driving incorrectly and get an accident. I arrived at the police station after driving
for like an hour with drivers beeping their bells at me to indicate to me that I should
drive faster. I slowly parked it outside and got out then walked into the station. It was
filled but not so filled. Alot of people were there sitting in what seemed to be a Que. I
have no time for Ques,my matter is serious. I walked up to the desk of the police that
were administrators
Me: Uhm hi im here to report a case...
Some lady in the back said
Her: Auwii.... Bona bana ba matsatsi a. Ausi nyana,o ra gore ga o bone gore ke line e? (
Look at children of these days. Little girl,cant u see that this is a line?)
Me: Uhhm
Other people behind her were complaining too saying I should move to the back of the
line.
Me: But....Sir my case is more serious
Some man said...
Him: All of our cases is serious
The rest of them agreed. I looked at the police man
Me: But Sir...it-
Him: Little girl jus fall to the back of the line...
Me: But this is serious. its about a murde-
Him: young girl...follow instructions....
Arg this is so annoying. I did as they said and went to the back of the line and sat next to
these two girls. One had a baby on her with her face so powered up with make up and
her friend was jus the same. As I sat they laughed but as if they ain't laughing at me.
Girl1: Yoh hai chomi. Some people think they so important than others
Girl2: hahaha hai. Maybe the always see themselves as the presidents daughters and
think they can go and do whatever in every places they go.
They laughed. Nxl b****es!
Girl2: Anyway girl forget bout that. Have u heard about Abigail?
Girl1: That Gunda beat her up?
Girl2: Yah like yoh
Girl1: Why didn't her boyfriend step up for her?
Girl2: Ey nawe u know that some guys are dogs. I mean he jus said Abi should mind her
business and jus let it go.
Girl1: Yah neh. I wonder where the guys who'd go extra miles for u are. I mean here I
am lining up in a police station to report that my baby daddy isn't paying up matainence.
He don't care if his baby is treating me good I mean this thing cries all night. Where are
the good guys
Girl2: Heyi don't even mention it. U know I'd kill to have a guy that would kill for me.
One who loves me enough to let all the guys know.
Girl1: Yea hey guys like that are nowhere to be found. If I had one I'd never leave him
Girl2: Hahaha uyaz kahle kuthi uzifunel'imali nje wena (u know very well that u only
want money)
Girl1: Hahaha yah vele
I didn't want it to but....what these girls were saying was playing in my head. They are
right to say that guys that would kill for u are rare. It hit me that im making a mistake.
Sandile actually loves me. Despite his reputation, he risked it for my sake. If it weren't
for him, God knows what Luvuyo wouldve done to me by now. And truly I don't know
how I was gonna face Tshepo after his deed. Maybe what he did was because of love.
Ofcos because of anger but love too.... He loves me and what I am doing is wrong. I
stood up and quickly walked out to the car. I got in and sat on the seat to think. After a
while of lying on the steering wheel I started the car and slowly reversed then hit the
road. I didn't wanna go home jus yet. I wanna pass over to Sandile's flat. I wanna know
more about the murder. I drove there with bells ringing behind me again but I ignored
them and continued my traveling. I actually got lost at first, and passed the place where I
had the crash with Luvuyo. The road still had dark ashes. I hope the niggas ashes are
there too so he could feel me drive on him. I somehow found my way and got to the
flats. I don't know why Sandile would choose to live in these kinna flats. The gates ain't
even guarded. There isn't even proper maintenance of the place. Papers all over. It looks
like a brothel if I have to say. The grass was even dry and the walls were paint sprayed
vulgar language words. I waited till I saw a car coming towards the gate and opened it
with the remote. I took the chance and drove in. I parked the car and went out. This
place is really bad. There was even a smell of nyaope. I jus hope Sandile is not in that
statistic....
I walked up the stairs and made my way to flat number 205. I never forgot the number. I
knocked on the door but got no response. I knocked again still nothing. I kept on
knocking but figured maybe he isn't here. Great. Waste of time coming here. I turned
and was about to walk when I heard the door open. I turned and looked at him. He
looked awful. He was in a trouser and was shirtless. His eyes were really red.
Sandile: Uhhm Sihle
Me: Hi...
Sandile: I wasn't expecting to see u here...So early in the morning
Me: Its around 10.
Sandile: Ohh...I didn't realize
Me: May I come in?
Sandile: Yea ..
He got out of the way and I walked in. Ohh Goodness. The place of mess. Empty cans of
Guaranas all over the floor with packages of what seemed to been a cake, this guy loves
cakes truly.
Sandile: Uhhm im sorry the place is a bit..dirty and all.
Me: Why are u even here? This place doesn't even suit up. It ain't safe,especially
knowing ur status. U have a home...
Sandile: Sihle....please....
I looked at him.
Me: Im here for answers.
Sandile: Answers???
Me: Firstly, what weapon did u use to kill him?
Sandile: Sisi please
Me: Sandile!
Sandile: I...I beat him up repeatedly.
Me: Uhm o...oh.. Where is his corpse?
Sandile: Well we...threw it in the woods but its with the police now.
Me: We?
Sandile: Yea ....my bestfriend Achie and I ...
Me: So....did u regret it or not?
He looked at me in the eyes
Sandile: Seeing the way u were so devastated, I didn't.
I looked at him.
Me: Listen... I thought about this issue and honestly what u did was ultimately wrong.
He looked down...
Me: But knowing u did it for me, shows the love u have for me. Love that most people
look for but cant find. I was blinded not to see that everything that a girl wants was
offered to me. Im not promoting what u did but im saying,....Im saying..... I forgive u.
And I'd like us to give it a try..
He looked at me so astonished and eyes wide open.
Me: Hello
Sandile: S....sorry jus that....I....I wasn't expecting this. Baby thank u!!
He quickly picked me up and played around with my body in the air like a baby.
Me: Sandile u gonna drop me.
He put me down.
Sandile: Im jus so happy. Baby I promise u I'll treat u right...
He came closer and kissed me on the spot. Ohh heaven. This was so delightful. I felt the
rush again...I felt shivers down my spine. We kissed for a while and I pulled out. He
smiled.
Me: Okay... Go and take a shower while I clean this place up.
Sandile: U don't have to.
Me: Sandile....
Sandile: Say please....
I rolled my eyes.
Me: Jus go.
Sandile: Still haven't said the word.
Me: Please....
He baby kissed me.
Sandile: Be back in a few.
Me: I know thats about an hour.
He laughed and walked to the rooms while I browsed around for cleaning essentials. I
found them and did my best in cleaning the place. Starting with the kitchen and the rest
of the house. Did I make the right decision though? All I know is that he loves me and I
wanna love him too. Only God knows how our love will go. For now...the first step is
taken..........
.
.
.
.
.

····FINAL INSERT····
.
.
.
[18 SNL]
Staying with Sandile was truly a certain type of peace. I felt like this moment should
never ever come to pass. We were watching romcoms with shared kisses here and there.
I jus fell inlove with him. We were eating from the sitting room, he ordered pizza
actually, When our plates were clear I offered to take them to the sink. I took them and
walked over to the kitchen. I put them in the sink and washed them. During that process
I felt some arms snake around my waist. Sandile hugged me from behind. I don't know
how but this guy has something really infectious to me. I jus felt feelings iv never felt
before. The way he holds me. It kind of always makes me want more of him.
Sandile: Im really happy to have this moment with u.
Me: Me too.
Sandile: I don't ever wanna let u go.
I smiled and he kissed my neck. Doing so he aroused a certain feeling in me. I don't get
why he was so different... The feeling became deep and jus closed my eyes to feel it. He
turned me around and kissed me. The kiss was rather an intense kiss with so much
passion and emotion. He slowly took off my track jacket and it slid to the floor. The
connectional love exchange happening went further and he picked me up with my legs
hanging around his waist. He continued by walking out the kitchen to the bedroom. I
wondered how he was able to balance me with such a weight I carry. He got to the
bedroom and gently laid me on the bed coming ontop of me,still constantly blessing me
with his sweet kisses. His hands were paralysing my body with touches that were out of
this world. His hands attempted to remove my shirt and I jus let it. It was taken off and
he did the same to his. He continued kissing me while his other hand traveled to my
back and somehow uncupped my bra. My twinies went loose as it was taken off and I
noticed that they were hard. His lips moved from mine and traveled downwards with a
trail of kisses. They met up with my breast and he somehow kinna sucked them. This
experience was different. I didn't know how to respond to it. The feelings in me were jus
going crazy. I let out slight moans. He came back to kissing my lips while I felt his hand
going below. It made its way to my pants and slowly undressed them. I was still under
paralysation so I had no power to stop him. Truth was, I am aware of whats going on
and ofcos im not prepared or comfortable, but I jus want him. I jus wanna feel more of
him. I was speechless and had no control of my conscious.....
He took off my pants and continued kissing me caressing my body. His hand went
downwards again and made its way to my bikini. It went inside it. I didn't understand
why, untilhis fingers played around my treasure*,teasing it with touches and at that
moment, I felt a feeling arouse in me. My blood jus rushed. What was this man doing to
me? Suddenly his finger slowly inserted itself in my treasure. It was abit painful to let
out a slight moan. It eventually went deeper, thats when pain triggered and I let out a
cry. It went out and was inserted again hurting me even more to a point that I got
alarmed and found myself holding his hand to stop. He stopped and looked at me then
chuckled.
Sandile: Hehehe we not even in that part yet but u already crying? Thats weird
.....unless......
I looked aside...
Sandile: Babe.... U....u a virgin?
I nodded.
Sandile: Ohh wow...uhh woah like .. ..wow..
He seemed to be blown with surprise and astonishment.
Sandile: Uhm we can stop if u are uncomfortable with this.
Honestly I wasn't comfortable with this but at the same time,I wanted more of this. The
sensation I was feeling, I didn't jus want to let it go. and I can already feel his manhood*
was hard .Besides, Im having it with my husband.
Me: Uhm no...jus....please be gentle.
He looked at me and pulled a little smile and kissed me then stood up and walked to his
drawer for protection. He took off his pants and wore it while I got in the sheets. He
came back to me and kissed me again.
He positioned himself inbetween my wide open legs caressing them gently and looked at
me.
Sandile: Are u sure?
I nodded
Sandile: Sihle jus say it.
Me: Yes...
He kissed me again and in a little moment I felt him enter me slowly. It was so painful I
couldn't help but let out a cry. It was most painful I felt my skin creep. Everything
around me was still at that moment. Such pain was one to not be ignored. He took a
stroke and I moaned loudly still. He then stopped and look at me while I was breathing
heavily.
Sandile: Try to relax ur muscles,it wont hurt so much.
I nodded and I tried doing so.
He stroke me again but still, the pain was still as painful as before. My hands were
holding him real tight as a release of my stress. This experience was a very distraughting
one. As he went on to take more strokes, I started feeling an additional pleasure. I felt
leisure in a mixture of pain. The feeling is indescribable and confusing, but its out of this
world.
After some while I felt tired and he also became tired and collapsed on my other side.
We were both breathing heavily as though we've been running.
My front* part, it was in great pain. It felt so heavy and so hot and i felt a hot liquid fall
out. My legs were shaking and trembling.
Sandile came closer to me
Sandile: U okay?
Me: Yea...
He kissed my forehead and wiped my tears. I didn't even realize that I was crying.
Sandile: How was it?
Me: Painful
Sandile: Im sorry...
He put my head on his chest.
Sandile: Im happy this happend.
I kept quiet
Sandile: Babe...
Me: Hmm?
Sandile: U sure u alright? U still crying..
Me: Is it suppose to hurt this way?
Sandile: Does it really hurt?
I nodded. He pecked my lips and stood up from the bed, dressed into his boxers and
walked out. At that moment I thought about the scene that jus happend minutes ago. A
beautiful hurtful one. I am finally deflowered. I jus pray that Sandile doesn't change on
me as time goes by because I gave out my all to him. He walked in minutes after..
Sandile: Woza (come)
I got up from the bed with my body wobbling like it had been hit by an electric
appliance. My legs felt like water,my walk was even funny. Sandile came to my rescue
and held me from my waist supporting me to walk. He was kind of giggling but hid it
Me: What?
Sandile:Uhm no nothing. Uhm I mean, I don't mean to offend u but ur walk is sexy
Me: Mxm
Sandile: Hahaha seriously. I hit it good.
Me: Ohh please. Someone is cocky
Sandile: U know it too.
We walked to the bathroom where the bathtub was filled with water. He asked me to get
in and I went to it and dunked my leg in the bathtub. The water was cold.
Me: The water is cold.
Sandile: It will help ease the pain.
I gave him a look.
Sandile: Trust me.
I continued and dunked the other then settled in the bathtub. He went out and I chilled in
the cold water. The pain was slowly fading but my front still felt heavy. I looked at my
Lubambo with full focus. Unbelievably, the white part of its pattern was gone. Its now
abit a pinkish colour. That was awkward. I am certain that there was a whitish stripe on
it instead of pink. Minutes after I decided to exit the bathroom so I got out the water and
wrapped myself in a towel then went out to the bathroom. I got in and Sandile was
removing the sheets. I noticed that they were bloody and without guessing I knew it was
mine.
Me: Uhm u shouldnt have bothered.
Sandile: Nah its okay babe.
Everytime I heard him say "babe" I jus felt my heart skip a beat. What has this guy done
onto me that made me wanna worship him? Only God knows.
He put the sheets in the laundry basket and I noticed that the clothes with Tshepo's blood
were still there. He then dressed in his jean while I was staring at him
Sandile: Uhm the lotions are in the second door of the closet.
I nodded and still looked at him. He looked at me and he chuckled.
Sandile: Is that what this is about? I mean com'on sthandwa sam I jus saw all of that
moments ago, why hide it?
Me: Jus go.
He laughed.
Sandile: Willing to see all of that soon.
He said that walking out of the bedroom and I went over to the closert and applies his
lotion, smelling like him. There wasnt anything for me to wear so I settled myself for his
shirt and his other boxer. I didn't have anything to wear. When I was done I got out the
room and walked over to the sitting room where Sandile was watching tv drinking a can
of Heineken. As I walked he stared at me all around my body and whistled.
Sandile: Like what I see
I blushed.
Sandile: Come here.
I walked to him and he made me sit on his lap.
Sandile: Ah, My Boxers?
Me: Hey remember its in pain hau.
He laughed and I jus looked at him.
Sandile: Babe..
Me: Baby
Sandile: Is there something wrong?
Me: No nothing jus that ....
Sandile: Jus what?
Me: Well....My Lubambo had a white pattern on it and now the pattern is pink.
Sandile: What?
I brought my hand to him so he could get a better vision of it.
Sandile: Theres no way. U sure?
I looked at him
Sandile: No I mean....Mine is the same and the pattern was pink when I first got it so
when u say urs was white and turned pink, I....don't get it.
Me: Uhm yea...U may be right....
Sandile: Don't stress urself babe. U'll get used to the intimacy.
I looked down
Sandile: What now love?
Me: Jus that....promise me u wont change on me now that I've slept with u.
Sandile: U worry too much.
Me: Jus do...
Sandile: Sihle... Ever since I've been involved with u from the first kiss, I always wanted
to be with u. I wont leave u. In fact, mark this, on this day,31st of December, is the
daywe let go of the past. Everything...
Me: Everything?
Sandile: Everything my love.
Me: Uhm...can we start by removing the evidence of Tshepo's death?
Sandile: Uhhm ohh...th...the clothes..? ofcos.
I got off him and he stood up and he walked over to the passage. Minute after he came
back with the garment and a bottle with what seemed to be paraffin. He walked to the
balcony and I followed him. He put them on the floor and poured the paraffin on them,
took them again and looked at me.
Sandile: Are u sure? Coz....this will make u a help in crime and if I fall, u might fall
too..more over...This could stay in ur mind for a long time and and-
I put my finger on his mouth
Me: Sandile...Im ready to accept u as u are....
He did a little smile and took out a gunlighter. With it, he set the garments alight and
dropped it down the apartment.
Sandile: Done and Dusted
I smiled at him.
Sandile: Wait here...
He walked out and a minute after he returned and looked at me sincerely.
Sandile: Uhm Let me do this.
He brought me closer through my waist and looked at me.
Sandile: Uhm Sihle....Like....Okay I ain't used to doing this so pardon me if it seems
somehow.
Me: Do what?
He went down on his one knee.
Me: Sandile....
Sandile: Let me do this...
I don't know what he is trying to do but I felt my heart race.
Sandile: Uhm...Like...ever since I met u,I...didn't like u... shit what am I saying.... I mean
like, I know when u first came in my life I didn't treat u right and it was because I
thought u were a decoy to me. But as time went on I realize that there was something
special about u. I... probably haven't been the best impression but...All I am saying now
is...Im willing to settle for u.
He reached out for his pocket and took out something that looked like a ring.
Me: Uh uh Sandile....
I started feeling emotional.
Sandile: Uhm I know I can't propose u coz uhm u already my wife so..uhm...what I'm
doing now is promising u. A better life. That all I've done to u, is in the past and I am
willing to open a new chapter with u...
He lengthed out his hand and the ring apparently was a necklace.
Sandile: May I...?
I nodded and he got up. He turned me around and slowly hung the necklace around me.
It was a very beautiful one with a little diamond infront. I guess thats the reason I
mistakened it for a ring.
Sandile: Wow...It suits u.
I turned around and looked at him while he looked at me. The intentional eye contacting
took place, heads came together and we shared one passionate kiss.
Suddenly a very loud BOOM happened and the sky was filled with colours. I watched as
the sky was set alight by beautiful fireworks.
Me: Its already 2016 ?
Sandile: Yea.... Well....I guess this happy new year. New beginnings.
I smiled.
Me: Do believe in fairy tales?
Sandile: Uhm...no..
Me: Well I do... And this is how they usually end....
He smiled a very bright smile and hugged me as if it cost him his life..
Sandile: I love u.....
Me: I love u too........
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