Emotional_Intelligence_Sample

I speak two languages, Body and English.
Mae West, Former actress
Module Five: Non-Verbal Communication Skills
There is more to communication than the words one speaks or message being conveyed. There are also
non-verbal cues that all use in everyday conversations. Being mindful of the signals you send others
through body language and the manner in which you speak may get your point across a lot faster than
your mere words.
Emotional Intelligence - Sample

Body Language
The saying, ‘Actions speak louder than words’ is so true in
the world of business. It is easy to shower someone with
promises, but when it is time to perform, if the actions do
not measure up to the words spoken, the words spoken will
be forgotten.
The use of body language can have both positive and

negative effects. The thing to remember about body
language is that if you are not conscious of what your body is
doing while you are talking, the wrong message could be
conveyed. For example, if you are smiling while giving someone condolences on the loss of their loved
one, that could be construed as inappropriate and your words insincere. On the other hand, if you are
congratulating someone on a job well done, but do so with a frown on your face, you could appear to be
unhappy for the person.
The signals you send to others
Sending non-verbal signals to someone can be a great way to reinforce that which you’ve verbally
spoken. It can also be used as a tool to further explain what you’re trying to say. However, it can be a
way of confusing the listener. So, this can be a valuable skill as long as you are conscious of it and have
trained it to have a positive effect rather than using it as an uncertain form of communication.

The following are some tips and techniques you can follow to be able to use body language
effectively:
1. Increase your awareness of your body language.

Try to get more information about what you communicate non-verbally, so that you will know
what to change and what to retain. Ways you can do this include: watching a videotape of
yourself, studying yourself in front of a mirror, and getting feedback from peers and friends.
2. Know how certain behaviors are typically interpreted.

Interpreting body language can be very subjective. There are, however, typical interpretations
to specific body language. Increasing awareness of what body language is often associated with
what interpretation (some are provided in the previous section’s discussion) can help a person
in both avoiding body language incongruent with the message he or she wants to send, as well
as deliberately practice the body language congruent with their message.
3. Practice! Practice! Practice!

Body language is a skill. Initially, using body language that is congruent with the message that
we want to communicate will feel unnatural. But just keep on working on it. Soon, it’ll be second
nature to you!

The following are some of the components of body language:
a. Eye Contact
Eye contact is considered one of the most important aspects of non-verbal communication.
Steady eye contact often indicates attention to the person one is in conversation with, as well as
a willingness and sincerity to connect. The lack of eye connect can be viewed as defensiveness,
nervousness and/ or social withdrawal. Many say that our eyes are the “windows to our soul”,
and that one can tell if an individual is happy, sad or angry simply by looking at their eyes.
b. Facial Expression
It is believed that there are universal facial expressions for different emotions, most of which
have an evolutionary basis. For example, anger is often indicated by sharp stares, crunched
eyebrows and the baring of teeth. Sadness, on the other hand, can be denoted by teary eyes
and drooping lips. Note though that the expression and perception of emotions tend to vary
from culture to culture.
c. Posture
The way we sit down, stand up or even walk can also communicate. For example, slumping in a
chair is often considered as a sign of inattention and/or disrespect. Walking with one’s head and
shoulders down can be interpreted as a sign of nervousness or low self-esteem. Withdrawing to
a fetal position can also be indicative of fear and/or depression. The puffing of one’s chest has
been traditionally interpreted as pride.
d. Specific Movements
There are specific movements that have traditionally been associated with certain messages. For
example, nodding is generally a sign of assent or agreement. Raising clenched hands are
interpreted as a sign of angry challenge. Stomping our feet can be an indication of frustration.
e. Physical Contact
The way we physically interact with other people is also a part of body language. Shaking of
hands, hugging, slapping, punching are forms of communication. The same can be said about
our physical closeness and distance with another person. Standing too close to a person can be
considered as an invasion of boundaries, while standing too far from a person can be construed
as avoidance.

It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It
The manner in which you say something could be the factor that determines
what the listener hears. It is important to be aware of your emotions, body
language, tone, speed and pitch when you speak. It may sound like a lot of
work and until it becomes second nature, it may be, but consistently doing
so can produce a favorable outcome. It is possible to send the wrong
message without intentionally doing it, so be careful. An innocent request
such as ‘Please shred that document’ can sound like a rude command.
The following are aspects of “how we say things” that we should take note of:
1. Tone of Voice: Voice intonation refers to the use of changing pitch in order to convey a
message. The same message, for example, can be delivered using a rising intonation, a dipping
intonation or a falling intonation. Changes in tone can help inject emotions into messages;
messages can be upbeat or depressing depending on the speaker’s tone. Changes in tone can
also help identify what is the purpose of a sentence. There are intonations that better fit a
question, and intonations that better fit a declarative sentence.
2. Stress and Emphasis: Changing which words or syllables you put emphasis on can change its
meaning. For example, consider the differences among these three statements below. The
italicized word represents where the emphasis is.
a. You mean, he disobeyed his mother?
b. You mean, he disobeyed his mother?
c. You mean, he disobeyed his mother?
3. Pace and Rhythm: The speed of speech, as well as the appropriate use of pauses can change the
meaning of words spoken, and affect the clarity and effectiveness of a communication. For
instance, people who speak too fast can be difficult to talk to --- a listener might feel too
pressured to catch everything that they have to say! On the other hand, a person who speaks
too slowly can bore their listener.

4. Volume: How softly and how loudly you speak also matters in communication. Ideally, one
should generally speak in a moderate volume while in the company of others; a too soft a voice
can communicate nervousness or lack of assertiveness, while a loud voice can communication
anger and aggression. A person should also be flexible, able to whisper or shout when it’s
appropriate to do so.
5. Pronunciation and Enunciation: How well a message comes across is influenced by

pronunciation and enunciation. Pronunciation refers to speaking a word in a way that’s
generally accepted or understood, while enunciation is the act of speaking clearly and concisely.
Developing one’s skills in pronunciation and enunciation ensures that one is accurately
understood. Note that accents can cause varieties in what is considered as acceptable
pronunciation.

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I speak two languages, Body and English.

Mae West, Former actress

Module Five: Non-Verbal Communication Skills

Emotional Intelligence - Sample

The use of body language can have both positive and

The signals you send to others

Emotional Intelligence - Sample

1. Increase your awareness of your body language.

2. Know how certain behaviors are typically interpreted.

3. Practice! Practice! Practice!

Emotional Intelligence - Sample

Emotional Intelligence - Sample

a. You mean, he disobeyed his mother?

b. You mean, he disobeyed his mother?

c. You mean, he disobeyed his mother?

Emotional Intelligence - Sample

5. Pronunciation and Enunciation: How well a message comes across is influenced by

Emotional Intelligence - Sample

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