Asian Persuasion
Asian Persuasion
Asian Persuasion
WE SEE JACK FERGUSON, a skinny, white male with his back to the
CAMERA at his desk.
JILL (O.S.)
Hey Jack? You ready?
JACK
Yeah...hold on let me get a few last
things.
The cover of the sketchbook flips open and the words "HOW JACK MET
JILL" are written on the page.
The pages begin to flip rapidly like a cartoon from a flip book.
CUT TO:
MARK
She is definitely a "Code Red"
MARK
Man, I just wanna come up behind her.
MARK
Bend her over…
He bends the girl over.
JILL
(Whispering in MARK's ear)
Then what baby..?
RANDOM GIRL
Jerk!!!
"Just like Heaven" by the Cure plays faintly in the background for that
brief moment.
JACK is stopped abruptly as MARK tugs his pant leg to help him up.
JACK
(to himself)
Where did she go?
JACK then spots JILL atop the "HILL", the steep hill located next to the
party-house also where the beer-keg is kept.
CUT TO:
EXT- TOP OF THE "HILL"-CONTINUOS
JACK reaches the top to see JILL standing alone next to the keg.
They are on the verge of meeting eye to eye once again when…
FRAT BOY 1
Hey!! Here's the keg…
FRAT BOY 2 slams unknowingly into JILL sending her tumbling like JACK.
FRAT BOY 2
Who puts a keg on top of a hill anyway?
The two are about to embrace when JACK reaches for his head in pain.
JACK
I think I broke my crown.
JILL (V.O.)
What was that?
CUT TO:
JACK AND JILL are sitting in JILL'S car outside of an EXXON Gas STATION.
The sketchbook is on Jack's lap. WE see he is on the last page of the
animation from the previous scene.
JILL
That's not what happened…
(beat)
I know the whole Jack and Jill thing was
real cute in the beginning, but come now.
JACK
It sounds better than "hey did you know
that I met you're daughter on a drunken
night of Ruffies and Nyquil…"
JILL
True.
(beat)
So, you nervous about meeting my
mom?
JACK
(nervously)
She can't be that bad... can she?
JILL
No. She's...um...one of a kind.
CUT TO:
JILL'S car pulls up the driveway to reveal a large house with two large
white pillars in the front of the house. The front door opens and we see
a large Asian family exiting the house.
JACK
I hope this is the right house or this
would be kinda weird.
JILL
Hey, where's mom?
From the crowd steps ALEX PHAM, JILL's Brother. He is tall skinny with
baggy pants and a black t-shirt with a big weed leaf.
ALEX
She'll be here later...
ALEX
Could he be any whiter?
JILL
ALEX!!!
(beat)
... he's just a little pale
JACK (O.S.)
I get sunburned really easy..you see I
have sensitive skin and..
JILL
Okay, Lets go inside...
JACK
I'm Jack...what's your name?
ALEX
I'm A-dawg G...so how long you been wit
my sis?
JACK
About 6 months now...
ALEX
And this is the first time you've met the
family?
JACK
Why? Is that bad?
ALEX
Well homie...let's just say you're the first
white boy she ever brought home with
her.
JACK enters the house luggage in tact and follows ALEX through the
living room. JACK notices an Emerald colored Buddha in front of the
living room entrance.
JACK turns to see the family including JILL sitting in the living room. He
notices that they all have their shoes off and are staring at his shoes
and the tracks that he has left behind from his decent into the house..
JILL
Sorry that's my fault!
JILL
(whisper in JACKS ear)
You have to take your shoes off when you
come in the front door.
JILL
Everyone, this is Jack.
JILL
Just take your shoes off.
JACK
Oh..I'm sorry...let me take them off.
He takes off his first shoe and begins to hop around trying to release
the other.
The family stares in shock. JILL rushes over and grabs JACK by the hand
as they head to the door.
JILL
We gotta go...
JACK and JILL leave the house and head back to the car.
JACK
Are we leaving already?
JILL
We have to replace that Buddha
JACK
So where are we going...Buddhas R'US?
JILL
(under her breath)
White boys...
JACK
Huh?
JILL
Oh nothing...
The two enter JILL'S car and proceed out the driveway and down the
street.
JACK
So...how 'bout that first impression?
JILL
It was great... if you were ALEX's friend
and not my boyfriend
JACK
Sarcasm...your greatest quality
(beat)
So, your mom will be at your house later
tonight?
JILL
I hope so...she's a busy woman though.
JACK
She's in business, right?
(beat)
How did she get all the way to where she
is now?
CUT TO:
JILL (V.O.)
She came over from Vietnam on a small
fishing boat while she was pregnant with
me.
JILL (V.O.)
She was escaping communism and my
ass hole of a father.
(beat)
But he got his in the end...
CUT TO:
The figure approaches slowly towards the bed. The moonlight shines in
revealing only the figures cold-blue eyes marking his target for the kill.
The figure removes the blanket to reveal the naked bodies of all three.
The figure readies the blade and cuts quick and fast.
CHIHN
(in Vietnamese)
My penis...my penis....no!!!
TIME STOPS.
JACK (V.O.)
No way..she didn't...did she?
Jill smiles.
CUT TO:
JACK and JILL exit the car. The sketchbook is left open on the passenger
seat with an uncompleted drawing of a woman on the page.
The two head towards the entrance. The mall is large with two
beautiful pavilions surrounded by ponds just in front of the entrance.
JACK
Man..this place is cool looking, huh?
JILL
It's just a mall babe.
CUT TO:
The two enter the mall. The mall is large and is filled with various
shops. A shop for Pearl Drinks, Asian CDS/DVDS, various eateries. As
well as a large food court with crawfish, Chinese dishes, rice and
assorted dishes and pastries.
Jack and Jill are walking hand in hand through the mall. We see older
Asian couples as well a few shoppers stare and chagrin the two as they
pass.
JACK
Are we being watched Jill?
JILL
I think so??
JACK
(yelling)
Anyone know where I can find the OLD
NAVY in here?
JACK
No OLD NAVY...ah man...well I guess the
Gap will have to do..
Jill laughs and grabs Jack by the hand leading him to the ASIAN
MARKET located in the center of the mall.
CUT TO:
The two exit with the statue in hand. They head to JILL'S car and enter
the vehicle.
JACK
So tell me more about your mom.
JILL
Where was I oh yeah...after she did her
best Bobbit impersonation, she...
The sketchbook opens and the pages rapidly move like a cartoon flip
book.
CUT TO:
EXT. CLASSROOM-CALIFORNIA-NIGHT-1981
JILL (V.O.)
She went to night school to learn English
and she..
CUT TO:
JILL (CONT'D)
...waited tables during the day at a run-
down seedy restaurant...not the best job
to have when you can barely speak
English.
JULIE turns in anger and punches the trucker in the mouth breaking a
few teeth in the process.
JILL
So she decided to go with retail instead.
Less violence.
CUT TO:
EXT. UCLA BUSINESS SCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY- 1990
JILL (V.O.)
She graduated in the top of her class and
got her masters of business shortly
thereafter. She worked really hard and
she wouldn't settle for any less than the
best.
TIME STOPS.
JACK (V.O.)
So wait..where did Alex come from?
JILL (V.O.)
I'm getting there..
TIME RESUMES.
The baby sitter becomes a semi attractive asian man, MIKE DAO
waving Jill's arm at her mom.
JILL (V.O.)
She remarried so she could help provide
me with a better life or "the best" she
would say.
(beat)
She only married him for his money and
his house and you get the picture.
(beat)
I guess she was still a little bitter toward
men and love just didn't seem like a
reasonable investment to her.
JULIE is sitting at her large wooden desk with a title card in the front
that reads: JULIE VO V.P. Of Operations.
JILL (V.O.)
She worked her way to the top after she
had ALEX and divorced MIKE along the
way.
CUT TO:
Jack and Jill are nearing her house. We see the sketchbook on JACK'S
lap. We see a small view of the character he is working on as he closes
his sketch book.
JACK
She sounds a little intimidating.
JILL
Well she is definitely obsessed with the
"best".
JACK
You know your brother kinda grinned
when he asked if this was the first time
you brought me home.
JILL
Alex is on crack..don't worry about him.
JACK
Well, lets say he only smoked a little rock
today. Why would he act that way?
JILL
Okay so my past boyfriends didn't far so
well.
JACK
Were any of them white
JILL
Oh god no...I mean she would kill..
She pauses.
JILL (CONT'D)
You'll be fine sweetie.
The two arrive at JILL'S house. The streets are aligned with many
luxury cars.
JACK
Must be car show or something on your
block
JILL
No..those are my relatives cars. Mom
went a little nuts when she hit it big.
JACK
Oh..so why are you driving this old
honda?
JILL
Because it may not look the best and
have all the best accessories, but it
makes me happy and that's what
matters.
JACK
Are you talking about me or your Honda.
JILL
Well??
JILL
Hey Jack! Don't forget the Buddha.
CUT TO:
The two enter the house. The house is full of kids running around and
karaoke can be heard coming from the den.
BA NGUOI (O.S.)
Hey Con!!
JILL
Hey BA NGUOI.
BA NGUOI stops and looks at JACK and then stares at the Buddha in his
hand.
BA NGUOI
Thief!! Thief!!!
JILL
No MA WI...this is Jack my boyfriend.
JILL
Oh he was just looking at it.
(beat)
Right Jack.
JACK
Oh..well I was gonna pawn it, but...
JILL
Okay...put the statue back and we'll go
get ready for dinner.
JACK places the statue where the other had been as the two leave
towards JILL'S room across the living room.
Camera Flashbulbs go off and JACK and JILL are blinded from the lights.
AUNT LIHN
Okay smile you two!!
JACK
Ahh...I cant see!!
JILL
Sorry, I forgot to mention my family are
big on picture taking.
BA NGUOI
Okay...take a picture with me and Mack
JACK
That's Jack,ma'am.
BA NGUOI
Excuse me...
JACK
Oh...nothing
JILL
Okay...enough pictures..we need to get
dressed for dinner.
JILL
(to the family)
Hey is mom here yet?
BA NGUOI
No not yet, but she'll be here shortly
dear.
ALEX
Hey Jack..hope you're ready for mom!
(beat)
HEY JILL...did you tell him about
Kiet...you know he might show up later
JACK
(to himself)
KIET??
CUT TO:
JILL
I love you sweetheart
JACK
I love you too...
JILL
Nervous huh?
JACK
Who's KIET...was he a former boyfriend.
JILL
Well sort of, you see...
The sketch book opens and the words:KIET??? are written on the page.
JULIE is sitting in the living room with JILL and KIET on the love seat.
KIET is well dressed and has a very snub look on his face.
JILL (V.O.)
KIET was the guy that my family wanted
me to be with. He was rich and had a
nice car. He made me sick to my
stomach and never had a chance with
me.
JULIE
So..when are you two getting married.
JILL
Mom...
KIET
Probably the day after our first date..she
won't be able to resist..
KIET smiles
JILL gestures her finger going down her throat.
KIET (CONT'D)
All she has to do is say yes.
JULIE
Come-on Jill this is ridiculous. He is the
"best"
JILL
(angrily)
Then you marry him,mom.
CUT TO:
INT.JILL'S ROOM-PRESENT
JILL is sitting on the bed fully dressed with JACK in the background
working in his sketchbook.
JILL
And that was the last guy I brought
home.
JACK
So you're saying this should be easy
right?
ALEX
Hey yo...the food is rizzeady ya'll
JACK
Lets eat I'm starving....
JACK and JILL exit her room towards the dining room.
CUT TO:
INT. JILL'S HOUSE-DINNING ROOM- CONTINUOS
WE see a large dinning table set with many place settings and a flower
center-piece.
AUNT LIHN
Hey Jack..won't you say grace.
The room freezes in the moment and all attention focuses on JACK.
JACK
(nervously)
Um...Sure.
The family all bow their heads in prayer,but open their eyes just a little
bit to see the performance.
JACK
Oh God...Oh God...Thank you for this
food here and bless this house...its a
good house...
JACK
The End..I mean Amen.
JACK and JILL are seated next to BA NGUOI and ALEX with one spot
next to JILL left for her mom.
JACK
OW..that hurt
JILL
(whispering)
We have to wait for BA NGUOI to get her
food first.
(beat)
In the Vietnamese culture the elders eat
first.
JACK
Ah..any other rules of the table that I
should know.
JACK looks down at his plate and begins searching for his fork and
knife. In place were two wooden chopsticks.
JACK
(to himself)
I can do this...
The meat makes it to the edge of his plate then tumbles into his water
splashing BA NGUOI in the process.
JACK
Oh...I'm sorry.
BA NGUOI
So Mack, where do you work?
JACK
Ah its...I work at Bubba's Ice House..I'm a
waiter.
BA NGUOI
I see...so you plan on making this your
career?
JACK
No ma'am I intend on making my way up
to manager and re-name the place JACK's
SPIT CAN "Come on by or will spit on ya'"
JACK
Seriously, I am a student in the field of
animation. I work so I can pay for school.
BA NGUOI
Good JACK. I'm happy to hear that.
JULIE (O.S.)
Hello? Anyone home?
JILL gets up from the table and rushes over to embrace her mother.
CUT TO:
JACK enters the room. WE see JILL embracing JULIE VO, she is 40,
beautiful and dressed in an black Armani business suit.
JULIE
(to JILL)
It's so good to see you Con..
JULIE
What is that?
JILL
That's my boyfriend... JACK
JULIE
No not him...that?
JILL
Ah..Buddha..you know that guy who..
JULIE
It looks so clean and...
She places the Buddha back and begins her approach to JACK.
WE PAN around the room to see this has become quite the event with a
riveted audience(the family) surrounding the two.
JULIE
So..Jack right?
JACK
Yes ma'am I mean Mrs. Vo. I means
Misses...
JULIE
A southern boy...you Can stick with the
Ma'am for now...it Makes me feel
important.
JACK
I see where Jill gets the sarcasm
JULIE
Excuse me..
JACK
Oh nothing...
JULIE
So what do you do?
JACK
What do you mean?
JULIE
That answers my question already?
JILL
(to ALEX
It didn't take her 30 seconds to start the
interrogation.
JACK
So what college level are you at
presently?
JACK
I am technically a Sopho-uni-enor..
JULIE
Funny guy too...so what's your major
Funny guy?
JACK
I am into animation and drawing cartoons
based on real life events. I intend on
pursuing a degree in the field soon.
JULIE
Sounds wonderful and how much does
that pay when you graduate?
JILL
Mom.
JACK
Um..I really don't care as long as its
enough to feed my future family...maybe
with Jill
JILL'S mouth drops as JULIE glances over at her with a cold stare.
JULIE
So what kind of adult situations do you
draw...is it porn or something?
JACK
No Ma'am I draw in the spirit of real-life
situations that take place either in my life
or in someone else's I hear about along
the way.
JULIE
I see and this is something you intend on
making real money doing.
JILL
Mom..
JULIE (SUBTITLE)
(to Jill in Vietnamese)
I'm serious...He can't possibly intend on
supporting a family on a starving artist's
pay.
JACK
With all do respect Ma'am I am better
than you think I am and I think I won't be
starving myself or your daughter.
(beat)
But I do intend on loving your daughter
with all my heart and in this world it's not
often you find someone who may not
look the best or have the best
accessories, but she definitely makes me
happy and that's all that matters.
JILL stands offended but then changes her expression to admiration for
JACK'S statement.
JULIE
Are you talking about a Honda or my
daughter?
JACK
The important thing is I can and will be
the best man you daughter has ever
been with.
JULIE
Let's see what these cartoons are all
about.
JACK leaves the room towards JILL'S room to get his sketchbook.
A few minutes pass as JACK exits the room with sketchbook in hand.
JACK returns to find JILL sitting with KIET on the couch with JULIE sitting
in the recliner to the left.
JULIE
Jack..this is Kiet, an old boyfriend of Jill's.
JILL
Mom... this guy was never my
boyfriend...
KIET stands up to greet JACK, but JACK walks past him directly over to
JULIE.
JULIE
(to JACK)
So this is your sketchbook...
JULIE
Cartoons on crack...nice.
She opens the cover to reveal the "HOW JACK MET JILL" cartoon
She flips though the various cartoons involving her history and seems
intrigued by the animation.
She flips rapidly to the end of the book and piece of paper blocking a
silhouette picture from view.
JULIE removes the paper and stares amazed at what she is seeing.
JULIE
This is beautiful...how did he..how did
you.
JULIE rushes upstairs to her room above.
Moments later JULIE returns with a small 4'6" picture with the year
1980 written on the back.
JULIE returns to her seat and places the sketchbook near the photo.
JULIE
Wow..have you see a picture of me
before, Jack?
JILL hurries over her mom to see what all the excitement is about. The
rest of the family follows.
One by one each have their own brand of amazement for what they
are seeing.
JACK
No Ma'am...I just imagined in my head
what you would look like?
JULIE
But the cartoons make me out to be a
monster of a man hater.
JACK
Well, I just think there is more to people
than just their look and their right hook
and knife yielding abilities are always a
turn-off.
JULIE
Okay you can call me Miss Vo
JACK
Could I call you...Julie.
JULIE
Don't push it.
JULIE turns the book to JACKS view and places the picture side by side.
JILL
So he can stay for awhile ma?
JULIE
I guess so...he'll do for now
JULIE
(You know you were right, Jack
there is more to people than
how much money they make,
but more about who they
are)
(beat)
whispering into JACK's ear
But don't fuck my daughter over white
boy or I'll make sure you don't...
JILL (V.O.)
Hey Ma,Jack, you coming into the dining
room for coffee.
JULIE
Coming sweetie!!
She stops then turns to give a suspicious wink to JACK as she exits.
CUT TO:
WE PAN over to see the wedding cake and behind that we see. JULIE
and KIET dressed as bride and groom.
JILL
(to JACK)
Well I guess she took me literally when
said to marry KIET instead.
JACK
Do you think he knows what happened to
your mom's past husbands...you know
one castrated, the other bankrupt.
JILL
I'm sure he'll find out on his
own...someday.
Then the pages flip to the very end reading the words:
THE END
FADE OUT: