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 Introduction

Hi, I'm Helena Hart, and welcome to the Feminine

Enchantment program. I'm so excited to have you in this
program, and I know that the information I'm about to share
is going to be so helpful for you, no matter where you are in
your love life. Whether you're single and struggling to attract
a high quality man into a really fulfilling, committed
relationship. Or, if you're with a man, and maybe see it going
distant, or pulling away, and you're looking to strengthen
your relationship and really bring him closer than ever.

For those of you who aren't familiar with my work, I'm

a certified life and relationship coach. My background is in
psychology and education, I actually have a masters degree
in psychology. So I've always been really passionate about
helping women improve their lives. But really, the reason
why I decided to become a dating and relationship coach
was because of my own love life, and everything I did to turn
things around.

I have really been where you are, no matter where

you're struggling in your love life. I know what it feels like to
be working really hard in a relationship, and feel like you're
not really getting anywhere with the man. Maybe you are
giving, and showing him everything you have to offer, only to
have him not want to commit, or pull away, just when you
were starting to feel really excited about him.

I've really been there myself, and through a lot of trial

and error, and research, learning everything I can about the
way men, and love, and relationships really work, I've found
this system that helped me turn my own love life around, and
it's worked in the lives of so many of my clients. I've had
clients who had been single for decades, and they had
totally given up on finding a great man, quickly attracting a
really high quality guy, and ending up with them forever. I've
also had clients who had been in long term relationships, or
marriages, where the man was really pulling away and
withdrawing, have them re-attract that man, and really bring
him closer than ever before. And every situation in between.

Yeah, I have also worked with women who have been

going through a breakup, and feeling really heartbroken and
hopeless, and ready to give up on ever having a fully
committed, loving relationship. I've had them turn their lives
around, and quickly attract a man who was a million times
better than the last guy who broke their heart.

So, wherever you are in your love life, I know that this
system, and the principles in the Feminine Enchantment
program are really going to help you so much. So, after
applying the 10 triggers in this program, you are going to
hopefully experience a total turn around in the type of men
you're attracting, or in your man, even if he's pulling away,
he will really turn around on a dime and start to see you in a
whole new way.

So, I'm so excited to share this system with you, and I

will see you in the next video.
 How It Works

In this video, I'm going to be talking about how the feminine

and gentlemen program works. Like I mentioned in the last
video, so many women have experienced a lot of pain and
struggle and panic in their love-lives, myself included. What I
really found talking to so many women from all over the
world is that, so many of us have been brought up pleasing
our worth, and our value on what we can do or accomplish
or give to others. So, the idea of someone showing up and
just loving us because of who we are, is really a foreign
concept to so many of us women, I know it definitely was for
me personally and maybe you can relate.

What I found is that we tend to want to really hide

whom we are and cover that up, and we are sort of going
through our day covering up the very thing that makes a man
see us, and know that they are interested and want to
pursue us and get to know us. We tend to want to hide these
deeper parts of ourselves, so what we are working to do
here in this program is uncover who you really are and cool
back on some of that doing and efforting, so that we stop
pushing good, high-quality men away. One of the biggest
concepts in this program is masculine energy versus
feminine energy. I'm sure you've probably heard these terms
before, but in case you are not familiar with them, I'm going
to explain them a little bit here.

Masculine energy is the part of us that's about doing

things and thinking and solving problems. Anytime you need
to figure something out, or get something done, you are in
your masculine energy. Feminine energy is the opposite.
Feminine energy is all about being in the moment, feeling,
receiving, experiencing what's going on around you.
Expressing yourself and responding is also a feminine
energy quality. We all have both, men and women all have
both masculine and feminine energy inside of us, and both
play a really important role in our lives. So, this is not about
squashing down your masculine energy for example, it's
really about ramping up both masculine and feminine
energy, but really using them in a way that's going to work
for you now, in your love life, rather than against you.

An example of this, is you want to use your masculine

energy in work and in other areas of your life, and being your
feminine energy when you are with a man, rather than the
other way around. A lot of women run into problems when
they take all that amazing masculine energy they have, and
they turn it on to the man by trying to make something
happen, for example, on a date or in a relationship and it
ends up pushing men away, especially if he is a masculine
energy man. We are going to go into this in a lot of these
videos here, and just think of it like two magnets. One is you
and one is the man, and if you have the same charge on
both of the magnets, they end up pushing each other apart.
So, if what you want is to attract a masculine energy man,
which almost every woman I talk to wants the kind of man
who is going to move things forward in the relationship, and
be able to make those decisions and know what he wants,
and wants to go after it. That's a really attractive quality,
right?

If you have masculine energy, and you are trying to

attract a masculine energy man, it's like two magnets just
pushing each other apart. What you want to do with the
margin, is slipping that magnet around and being in your
feminine energy around men. You can pull them in, rather
than trying to attract a man by pushing and shoving your way
into his heart. If you've ever tried any sort of superficial
tactics or strategies to attract a man, you know that those
never work permanently. So, this program is not about
superficial strategies or gains, or manipulations or trying to
pretend that you are someone that you are not. Again, if
you've ever tried that, you know it doesn't work in any sort of
permanent lasting way, because it's just all about him, and a
man will be able to pick that up in your vibe, that you are
trying to do something to affect him. He might not be able to
put his finger on it, but he will be able to tell that you are
doing something. Men are really sensitive to that sort of thing
and it goes back to being back in your masculine energy.

Strategizing, trying to do something to make a man do

what you want, you want to get out of that energy and switch
in to your feminine energy. We are going to be talking a lot
about that in future videos, when I get into some of this
triggers that you are going to start applying in your romantic
situations. I've really found that this system works wonders
for women who go through the whole thing, and you use it as
a whole, rather than trying to take little pieces over, here and
there and use these little strategies or tactics to try to get a
man to do what they want, this one time. Trying to get a man
to give you what you want, in one little instance is ... I liken it
to putting a little bandage over a huge gaping infection or
wound. It might give you a short-term result, but the only way
to get permanent lasting results, is to completely shift the
entire relationship dynamic, between you and a man, or
between you and all men in general.

If you are single, and you are looking to attract a great

guy, you have to shift the entire dynamic in terms of the way
you are connecting with this man. That's the only way to get
a permanent lasting result, and it's actually much more
effective than any sort of superficial game or strategy you
can apply. This will really work for you if you see it as a
whole system, and you are shifting the entire relationship
dynamic, not trying to just get your way in this one moment. I
hope that helps explain some of these bigger concepts, we
are really going to be talking a lot about them in some of
these videos, so I will see you soon.
 The Gravity Trigger

In this video I'm going to be talking about the gravity trigger.

The gravity trigger is going to really help you stop pushing
men away, so you can start pulling them in using your
feminine magnetism, and this is a really important concept,
because in order for a man to really step up and want to
pursue you and keep coming towards you in a relationship
he has to feel that pull and that tension. He has to feel this
urge to come towards you. So much of the time we women
can be accidentally or inadvertently pushing men away even
energetically on really subtle levels by doing all of these little
things that we think are really attractive but they're actually
killing the attraction and the connection, and it ends up
pushing a man away.

The gravity trigger is all about creating that space for

a man to come towards you. This was probably the number
one thing I personally had to learn in order to figure out what
I was doing to stop blocking love and the right kind of men
from showing up in my life and pursuing me. This is such an
important concept, and it really all goes back to masculine
and feminine energy. Again, masculine energy is the part of
us that's about doing things and thinking and planning and
making decisions. Anytime you're strategizing or analyzing a
situation you're in your masculine energy. Feminine energy
is the opposite. It's about feeling and being in the moment,
really experiencing what's going on around you and
responding. It's not about initiating. It's about responding.
 In order to really use this gravity trigger and create
that space for a man to come towards you, you have to stop
doing all of these little things that push men away. I'm going
to give you a whole bunch of things that I want you to stop
doing right now in order to trigger this desire in a man to
really step up and pursue you. The first thing I want you to
stop doing is initiating contact with men, always being the
one to call a man first and text him or make plans with him,
or always drive to him and pay on the dates, make it really
easy for him. All of those things we might think are attractive,
like I need to show him I'm interested or show him that I'm a
giving, caring person.

What we're really doing is pushing forward with our

energy and we're not creating that space for him to come
towards us. It's not like you can never initiate contact with a
man ever again, but when you're working to turn some of
these patterns around I really suggest to my clients bringing
it back to zero and just always leaning back and then just
responding to a man when he shows up. Some more things I
want you to stop doing is stop initiating conversations about
the relationship. I was definitely guilty of this myself in my
past. So much of the time we think that we need to talk
about all these things with men like where we stand with him
or where is this relationship going, and it just feels like
pressure to a man when you're coming from this masculine
energy, results-oriented place.

If you were to just lean back into your feminine energy

and create that space for a man to pursue you and come
towards you all on his own, it's amazing how these things
tend to just fall into place, or he will start bringing up where
the relationship is going, he'll start making the plans and
really making sure that he gets in your schedule and in your
life, because he's not going to want to lose you. It's a pretty
rare woman that knows how to always come from her
feminine energy when she's with a man. It's extremely
attractive, and you just want to think of yourself as the center
of the universe basically, and you're just pulling these men in
with your gravity, with your feminine magnetism.

If you're single, pulling in all of these great quality

men, men that could really be good matches for you, or if
you're in a relationship, if you're with one particular man,
pulling him in, basically pulling the whole world towards you,
especially that man that's right in front of you rather than
pushing and trying to get your way and make things happen
in the relationship. It's a very different feeling and vibe. If you
want to imagine that man in front of you right now and just
physically lean forward. When you're doing this, you're in
your masculine energy. Imagine yourself initiating all the
plans with him and just always being the one to call him first
and text him. It's a very forward-leaning quality, and you can
almost feel even in your imagination as you're doing this, you
can feel that man start to back up and pull away.

Now, do the opposite. Go ahead and lean back,

physically lean back and just imagine pulling all your energy
and focus off of him and putting it on yourself and your own
life where it belongs. Even in your subconscious mind you
can feel him start to come towards you a little bit, right? This
is the space that you're wanting to create. It's what you do
when a man comes back towards you that's going to make
all the difference, that's going to make him feel more
attracted and connected to you or not. We're going to talk
about what to do when a man comes back towards you in
some future videos, but for now I just want you to stop doing
all of these things that are pushing men away, anything that
looks like leaning forward.

Instead, I want you to lean back. Physically lean back,

we just talked about that, when you're with a man. Also,
verbally leaning back, and this might sound a little strange,
but as women we can tend to want to jump in conversations
and fill in those awkward gaps or pauses. I still catch myself
doing this all the time because I want everyone to be
comfortable around me usually, and I don't want there to be
awkward pauses in conversations, so I still have to catch
myself from jumping in constantly and filling in that gap. I
promise you if you just lean back physically and verbally
when you're with a man you're creating that space for him to
step up, and he absolutely will. Men would just kill for a
woman who is comfortable with little silences every once in a
while in conversation, and not always trying to jump in.

When you're doing that, you're coming from your

feminine energy which is incredibly attractive, and you're
basically just giving him the opportunity to step up even in
these little small ways, but they really add up and make a
huge difference in dating and relationships. Also, I want you
to mentally lean back. That means you're not obsessing
about a man, you're not up in your head strategizing or
wondering where you stand with him all the time. Basically
unless a man is right in front of you or contacting you in
some way you want to completely take all that energy and
focus off of him and put it on yourself where it belongs. This
is going to shift your vibe and really pull him in.
 If you've ever had the experience where once you
forget about a man that's when he calls or that's when he
texts you when you're busy with something else, that's really
how it works. It's a real thing. You're energetically creating
that space for a man to come towards you. For a man it just
feels like this pressure valve's been released, and he'll just
feel this desire to really step up and want to come towards
you. That is the gravity trigger. I hope this was helpful for
you, and in some of the next videos I'm going to talk about
what you can do once a man does start to come back
towards you to really draw him in and make him feel super-
attracted and connected to you. I will see you in the next
video.
 The Priority Trigger

In this video, I’m going to be talking about the priority trigger.

This is going to make a man feel compelled to make you one
of the top priorities in his life, which is really important
because a man really needs to feel like he’s investing in you
in order to really fall in love and want to commit to you
forever. It’s not about how much effort you're putting out in
the relationship and how much you're giving to him that
makes a man really fall in love. It’s actually just the opposite.

A man falls deeply in love with you and he wants to

commit to a real lifelong relationship with you once he feels
that he has made the choice on his own to make you a
priority and really invest himself in you and the relationship,
so this is really important. I know how painful and frustrating
it can be to make a man your top priority and just give to him
and show him everything you'd have to offer only to have
him treat you like an option or a backup plan or where you
never really feel like you're a top priority in his life. This is
really important. If you're feeling right now that you're not a
priority in a man’s life, I know how that feels and I know
exactly how to turn this around.

The psychology behind this is the fact that we actually

attract a mirror image of our own masculine energy. Like I
mentioned before, we all have both masculine and feminine
energy inside of us. I’m sure you're very familiar with that by
now. Masculine energy, being the part of us that’s about
doing and planning and making decisions and thinking. Any
time you need to figure something out or get something
done, you're in your masculine energy. For this trigger, I
want you to look at your own masculine energy and see how
it’s operating in your life because the type of men you're
attracting or the behavior you're eliciting from your man, if
you're in a relationship, is going to be like a mirror image of
the kind of masculine energy that’s running your life.

If that sounds a little confusing, let me explain and

really break that down and give you some concrete
examples. A really common thing I hear from many women
that I can personally relate to this myself, if you tend to be
hard on yourself like a perfectionist or if you tend to be
critical or judgmental of yourself, you will attract men that will
criticize you or make you feel that whatever you do, you're
just not quite good enough or not quite right for him to
commit to for a real relationship. If you are judging yourself,
that will absolutely be reflected back to you in the men you're
meeting and attracted or in your man.

Similarly, let’s say there’s a part of yourself that’s

deeply angry but you're sort of sitting on it, you don’t want to
face that part, you will attract angry men and be attracted to
angry men. They will express that anger for you. It’s like a
system. They express the anger for you and then you feel
released, so very important to keep in mind that it’s all a
reflection of your own masculine energy.

By the way, this is not any sort of reason to beat

yourself up or blame yourself for where you're at in your love
life. You should know now, if you're familiar with me and my
work, it’s all about not blaming yourself and not beating
yourself up because if you do that, again, you're going to see
that reflected back to you in the men you're attracting. You
want to just uncover these patterns with all the gentleness
and acceptance in the world for yourself. It’s just about
catching these patterns and noticing them. That awareness
is really the first step to start turning all of it around.

Back to the priority trigger, let’s say you're attracting

men who don’t want to commit to you. You can really take a
look. Okay, where are you not committing to yourself and
your own life? That was certainly the case for me in my past.
I would attract men who just weren’t really interested in a
committed relationship and I wasn’t really committing to
myself and my own dreams, so that’s what was being
reflected back to me. I was sort of waiting around for the
right guy to come along before I put my own dreams and
desires in action, before I was making those things a priority
in my own life.

Let’s say you're attracting men who kind of keep you

waiting. This was also something I personally went through.
You can really take a look. Where are you waiting in other
areas of your life? Where are you not putting your dreams
into action or where are you not taking steps towards your
goals because you're sort of waiting for your love life to kind
of get on track first? I see that happening over and over and
over and so many clients of mine, once they get their
masculine energy geared for themselves and their own lives,
either the man they're with now will start to see them in a
completely new way and start to make her a priority or if
they're single, the right kind of men will start showing up,
men who really want to invest in them and make them a
priority and commit to a real full time relationship, so that’s
really important.
 The first step is awareness like I mentioned. The
second step is really taking a look at your own masculine
energy. See how it’s operating in your life and where can
you start making some shifts within yourself so that the right
kind of men will start showing up or your man will start to
really kind of snap too and see you in a whole new way and
want to make you a priority, and invest in your relationship.
It’s not about telling a man, “Oh, you need to make me a
priority. You need to prioritize your relationship.” I’m laughing
because if you've ever tried that, you know it doesn’t work.
Trying to talk a man into wanting to do some of these things
never works. It just pushes him further and further away. I
have been there myself. I know that that’s definitely the case
and I've seen it in so many clients.

It’s not really the words you use that compel a man to
want to make you a priority. Words are very important but
much, much more important is your vibe and your energy. In
other words, a man has to really feel it from you, that you
know your value deep down, you make yourself a priority,
and you're just not going to accept anything less. You're just
not going to accept any sort of bad treatment or behavior
from a man that makes you feel like you're not a priority.

That brings me to the last little piece of this. You want

to make sure you're not tolerating bad behavior or anything
that doesn’t feel good to you. A lot of times, it’s like you
either have to accept it or reject it when it comes to a man’s
behavior. Accept him for who he is and maybe this is part of
the package, or just reject it completely and move on
because tolerating any sort of bad treatment that doesn’t feel
good to you, that will kill a man’s attraction for you and just
destroy the connection faster than just about anything else.
It’s not about bringing this up and starting conversations and
trying to convince a man to make you a priority. That will
completely backfire on you, I can guarantee. It’s about
making yourself a priority, really valuing yourself, and not
tolerating bad behavior or bad treatment from a man.

Here’s an example. This can play out in all kinds of

different ways. A lot of women tell me that their man tends to
ask them out last minute or the men they're dating, they just
make last minute plans with them and it makes them feel like
sort of a backup plan, not a priority. You don’t want to hold
space open in your schedule for a man even if you're really
excited about him because then, when he doesn’t do what
you want, you're going to feel angry and resentful. There’s
really no way around it. If a man’s just asking you out last
minute, you should hopefully have some other plans in
place. Then, when he asks you out, you could say, “Oh, it
would feel so good to see you tomorrow night but actually, I
have plans already. I’m available next week on these days.”

A couple times of a man doing that, asking you out

and not being able to see you because you already made
plans, he should really start to see that if he wants to see
you, he needs to ask you out in advance. It’s actually about
valuing your own time and your own self rather than moving
everything around trying to fit a man into your schedule last
two minutes because he’s the guy you really want to see. I
can’t tell you how many clients I've worked with that will just
completely rearrange their lives and their schedules to fit a
man in whenever he can even if he’s asking her out last
minute. You really want to respect and value yourself.
 Those are masculine energy qualities. If your
masculine energy is really taking care of your feminine
energy and just creating that space for your feminine energy
to just be there and feel what you're feeling and not tolerate
bad behavior, that will be reflected back to you in your man
or in the men you're attracting. You'll start to see men will
step up who really want to prioritize you and value you and
your time and your feelings. It’s really amazing how it works.
That is the priority trigger. I hope that was helpful and I’ll see
you in the next video.
 The Vulnerability Trigger

In this video I'm going to talk about the vulnerability trigger,

this is going to help you really create that safe space for a
man so he feels comfortable opening up to you. Where he
feels like he can just really be himself around you and he'll
just want to keep opening up more and more because he
doesn't feel like he's going to be judged, or that you're going
to take things personally. This is such a powerful trigger
because when a man feels like you're just the one person in
his life that really gets him, he'll just want to keep opening up
to you more and more. He'll want to make sure that you stay
in his life forever because you know most men have this
programming going on that they got from a really early age
that they shouldn't be vulnerable. That it's not safe to open
up or maybe it's not manly or masculine to open up. So
they've really be taught in a lot of ways to stuff their feelings
down and sort of rise above them, or be more reasonable
than that.

So when a man starts to feel safe to open up to you

and be vulnerable, it really connects you to his heart and
makes him want to just commit to you and be with you
forever. It's a really, really powerful thing, and vulnerability
actually all starts with you. You might be surprised to find, it's
not about focusing on a man and trying to get him to tell you
what he's feeling. That sort of attention and energy on a man
will make most men feel uncomfortable. So that's not the
way to go about it, you want to really go deep into your own
feelings first and you want to open up to the man first. I know
that can be a really scary thing, I still feel myself wanting to
shut down all the time when I'm feeling triggered or anxious
about something. Or you might find if you're really attracted
to one particular man it might be hard to want to open up
and be vulnerable, because we all have these protective
mechanisms that make us want to shut down and close off
our hearts. Because we don't want to get hurt. We want to
like protect ourselves from getting hurt.

So I want to really encourage you to start in a very

low risk situations, in very small ways. So you don't have to
just immediately open up and start talking about your biggest
fears or dreams in life. Or something traumatic that's
happened to you, that's going to be really, really difficult. So
you want to start in very low risk situations in small ways.

Now the first step to this is really getting in touch with

how you're feeling. Most of us women are sort of like just
going about our days, going through the motions, kind of
living our lives on auto pilot. Kind of just going from one
obligation to the next, and we have no idea how we're feeling
in any given moment. So when a man shows up and the
great thing is they all sort of ask the same kinds of questions
right? Like how was your day? Or what are you up to? Or
what are your plans for the weekend? So rather than just
reporting the facts like, oh my day was good, I'm working all
week, and then I'm off on the weekend. There's no
connection there, so if you're missing that opportunity to
connect with men in those instances you're probably missing
it all throughout the day.

So the first step is really getting in touch with how

you're feeling. Then the next step is expressing that to a man
as a response when he asks for example, how was your
day? So rather than like I said giving the typical response,
like oh work was busy, try getting in touch with how you feel.
Like oh work felt so frantic today, it feels so good to just be
home relaxing on my couch. Or something like that, you
know if they're asking about your plans for the weekend,
rather than saying oh I have plans with my friends. You
could try expressing how you feel, like oh I feel so excited
I'm going to a concert this weekend with my friend, I can't
wait. It might not seem like a big change, it might seem kind
of subtle using that word feel, but it really triggers something
in the mind of a man. It triggers the fact that you're a
feminine energy woman, and that you care about your
feelings, you're in touch with your feelings. You feel
comfortable expressing that to him, that's like a huge honor.

By the way this is going on in a very deep

unconscious level most of the time. So men might not be
able to put their finger on it but they'll just feel this sort of
connection with you that they don't really feel with anyone
else. Another thing going on, on a deep level is that when
you're expressing your feelings like that, a man starts to get
this sense like oh she's comfortable with herself and her own
feelings. That's how he knows that you can handle his
feelings. It's a little counterintuitive, we tend to think that we
have to tell a guy, like oh I love you, I accept you. You can
tell me anything, but until a man sees that you accept
yourself, and you accept your feelings, you're comfortable
expressing them, he's never really going to feel that you're
going to be comfortable with his feelings. 'Cause most men
are not comfortable with their feelings, they're just not in
touch with those parts of themselves.
 So we have to be in touch with those parts of
ourselves first, then we express them to him, and then that's
how he knows, oh it's safe for me to open up to her. It's safe
for me to be vulnerable because she's comfortable with
herself, she's comfortable being vulnerable with me. So it's a
little backwards than how we typically want to go about it. If
you've ever tried like, tried to pull a feeling out of a man or
make him open up, that will just cause him to shut down and
withdraw more and more. I have been there so many times I
can't even tell you. So you have to go about it the other way
around.

In my opinion we are much deeper than men in a lot

of ways. We're more connected to ourselves and to others in
a way that men can only get connected to through us. It all
starts with us being in touch with ourselves. I always say the
way to connect to a mans heart is always through your own
heart first. It's not about trying to pull something out of him,
it's about really leaning back into yourself and your own
feelings, opening up and sharing those feelings with him,
being vulnerable. Then he's going to start opening up to you,
it's pretty amazing how it works.

So then when a man opens up to you, even about

small things, he'll probably start small too. You want to just
show him that you completely accept him, you don't want to
immediately go in and try and solve a problem or be his
therapist or counselor. That is jumping into your masculine
energy, and that's not really what he's looking for. If you can
just be over there with him and just like listen to him without
judging him, without taking things personally, that's really
important. Without trying to give him solutions or think about
what you're going to say next. It's just so powerful, men will
just, they'll start saying things like, oh I can tell you things
that I can't really tell anyone else. Or I could just talk to you
all day. Men tell me that a lot, oh you're so easy to talk to, I
feel like I can just open up to you. It's because I've really
learned how to feel comfortable with myself and start
opening up and being vulnerable in really small ways.

Even though it can be scary sometimes, so that's why

it's important to start with baby steps. So those are the two
steps to vulnerability trigger. First getting in touch with your
feelings and then expressing those feelings in just a very
feminine soft open way. He will start to open up to you, when
he does that, again you want to just have all this acceptance
in the world for him. Just really listen to him and be in the
moment, don't try and solve his problem, don't try and think
about what you're going to say next. Just really listen to him
and just that energy of you being in the moment like that,
being in your feminine energy will just magnetize him to you.
He'll want to open up more and more, so that's the
vulnerability trigger. I hope this has helpful for you, and I will
see you in the next video.
 The Fascination Trigger

In this video I'm going to be explaining the fascination

trigger. The fascination trigger is so powerful and it will make
a man just think about you all the time, almost obsessively
like in a really good way and just want to be around you
more and more and want to be with you forever.

The fascination trigger is all about dichotomies. It's

about embodying two seemingly contrasting ideas or
qualities at the same time and if that sounds a little confusing
I'm going to really explain this and break it down for you.

The first dichotomy is safety and mystery. If you can

give a man the sense of safety and mystery at the same time
it will create this fascination with him where he's just almost
like addicted to you, it's really, really powerful.

Most women are already providing the mystery a lot

of times, just by being a woman and by being in her feminine
energy. A woman's feminine magnetism is just very naturally
mysterious to a man. When you're in touch with yourself and
your own feelings, your own heart, that is thrilling to a man
on so many levels because we can really get to places within
ourselves emotionally that men can't get to so you just
embodying your feminine magnetism, doing some of these
things that we talked about in other videos will just naturally
just create this sense of mystery about you that is really
intriguing.

Most women I found need help with the safety half of

that. They're already providing the mystery typically but the
safety part is a little more challenging, typically is what I
found and personally I've experienced that myself. In order
for a man to feel safe with you which is so crucially important
you have to feel safe within yourself, that's the only way. You
can tell a man all day long, "Oh, you can be yourself around
me, I won't judge you." But a man needs to see that you feel
safe within yourself and within your own feelings before he's
ever going to feel safe being himself around you so it all
starts with you like so many of these big concepts. It starts
with going deep within yourself, feeling safe with your
feelings, expressing those feelings like we talked about in
the vulnerability trigger and then a man will start to feel like
he can just be safe with you.

That combined with the mystery and the excitement of

you being in your feminine energy is just like thrilling to a
man, he will just want to be around you more and more and
more. That's the first one, safety and mystery. The second
one is familiarity versus unfamiliarity so if you've been with a
man for a long time or if you're dating and you're just starting
to spend a lot of time with him you'll start to feel familiarity
with each other which is a great thing. A lot of people say
that familiarity eventually kills sexual attraction, after the first
three to six months some of those new feelings start to go
away once you start getting familiar with each other so you
also need this unfamiliarity, you need to maintain your sense
of newness with a man. You can do that by keeping your life
going outside of him.

So often when we start dating a man or if we've been

in a long term relationship with him it's like the same routine,
we fall into these same routines, we stop making new
friends, we stop going out and doing our own thing so I
would really encourage you to keep up your life outside of
him, just have a full complete life and always have new
things going on so you don't fall into that trap of being too
familiar without that other side of it. Familiarity is great and a
man will start to feel really comfortable around you the more
time he spends with you, the more time that you have with
him to practice these tools and apply some of these triggers
is fantastic, it's similar to the safety if a man feels familiar
around you but you also need that unfamiliarity, that creates
a little mystery as well. That's very important, familiarity
versus unfamiliarity.

The last dichotomy is space and softness. Space and

softness is so important in really any interaction you have
with a man. Basically you want to be creating space for him
to come towards you, we talked about that in the gravity
trigger. You want to really create that space for a man to
step into so he just feels this pull towards you, he feels this
urge to like really keep stepping up and pursuing you in the
relationship. You don't want to be pushing your energy out
towards him, you don't want to be up in your masculine
energy trying to make things happen or trying to get what
you want from him, right, that's the space. But it's not
enough in and of itself, you also need the softness.

When a man does come towards you you want to be

warm and open and receptive to him. You just want to be
soft and feminine and vulnerable. If you can create this
softness and space at the same time in pretty much every
interaction you have with a man he will just want to keep
coming towards you and keep coming towards you. It's very
amazing how it works, he'll just feel this fascination, he'll
want to keep getting to know you, even if you've been with
him for years, it won't go stale or stagnant, it will really keep
that spark going in your relationship.

You want a man to feel fascinated with you. We

women are fascinating creatures just by being women and
by embodying this feminine magnetism but if you can really
build up that other side of it where a man feels like he can be
safe with you, to open up, you feel familiar and you're
creating that space for him to keep coming towards you
while at the same time there's a little mystery, a little
unfamiliarity and you're soft and warm and inviting when he
does come towards you which he absolutely will once you
start really applying some of these triggers, that will create
this almost addictive feeling in him when he thinks about
you, in a really good way. There's like this kind of obsessive
thing where he wants to keep coming towards you in a way
that feels really good, it won't feel too much if he's the right
man for you.

That is the fascination trigger. I would love to hear

how this goes for you and I'll see you in the next video.
 The Pursue Me Trigger

In this video I'm going to be talking about the pursue me

trigger. This trigger is what is going to make a man really
want to step up and pursue you and have his energy coming
towards you continually in the relationship, or in the potential
relationship if you're just dating or if he's someone you're
interested in. It's very important to keep in mind that a man
has to be attracted to you and interested in you already in
order for this to work. We women can talk ourselves into and
out of even being attracted to a man. If you've ever had the
experience where you weren't really attracted to a man at
first, maybe you just saw him as a friend, but then you spent
some time with him and you got along really well, or maybe
you found out that he was really funny or smart, and you
grew to feel attracted to him or you grew to like him as more
than a friend. We can really do that as women, where men
are very different.

Men are hardwired. They're either attracted to you or

they're not. If they are attracted to you from the beginning it
is possible to apply this trigger and have him want to pursue
you more and more. This is not going to work if he's just
some guy that has interest in dating you or if he's told you he
only sees you as a friend. I absolutely wouldn't keep digging
yourself in and trying things over and over with a man like
that. Again, the kind of men you want to be with from now on
are men who are 100% available for the kind of relationship
you want and men whose energy is coming towards you
naturally. Once you know that a man is interested in you and
that he's attracted, there's definitely things you can do to
really ramp that up and make him feel more attracted and
connected to you and more interested in pursuing you.

The idea behind this trigger is something from

behavioral psychology. I was into behavioral psychology for
almost 10 years, working with teenagers and kids, so I know
a lot about this concept. It's called reinforcing the
approximations, and that's sort of like a big term. You can
think of it as shaping. That's another term for it, shaping or
molding the behavior into something that feels good or
something that looks like what you want it to look like. Again,
this isn't a game or a strategy or some way to manipulate a
guy or mold him into some sort of robot that's just only there
to do what you want, because you don't want a guy like that
anyway, right? You want a guy who's a really masculine
energy man who knows what he wants and makes the
decision to pursue you on his own.

I will say that some men can be kind of shy or

clueless, or they've maybe been reprimanded by women
who don't want a masculine energy man. Maybe they've
come on strong in the past with women and been shot down
or rejected. Sometimes even the most masculine energy
men could use a little direction, so to speak, or a little
encouragement when it comes to pursuing you. That's what
this idea of reinforcing the approximations looks like.
Basically the behavior that you want a man to do is to pursue
you and step up and be the masculine energy partner in the
relationship. That's the end result that you're looking for. Any
sort of behavior that looks like that or feels like him pursuing
you, you want to really acknowledge it and show
appreciation.
 An example of this could be if a man texts you, just
the tiniest little thing, calls you or texts you. Let's say he
calls, you can say, "Oh, it feels so good to hear your voice. It
felt so nice getting a surprise phone call from you." Let's say
he texts you something, "Oh, it feels so good to get your text
message in the morning. I felt so happy when I heard from
you today." You're just acknowledging these little
approximations towards the behavior that you want, which is
for him to pursue you. Let's say he does something a little
bigger, he makes a plan, you can just really reinforce that,
and this is like positive reinforcement. Reinforce it,
acknowledgment, and appreciation, again, are the fuel that
men run on, especially masculine energy men.

Let's say he makes a plan. When you show up to the

date or when he picks you up, you can say, "Wow, I love a
man with a plan. It feels so good to just show up and have
things planned out or taken care of." Things like that. Let's
say he pays on the date, you can say, "Oh my gosh, I feel so
special. Thank you so much. I had such a great time with
you. Feels so good getting to know you, spending time
together." Things like that. You're reinforcing any sort of
behavior that feels like he's pursuing you for a relationship.
This can really work wonders because, again, even the most
masculine energy man could use a little encouragement
sometimes.

Let's say you're online dating, this is something I get

asked a lot. They just met a guy somewhere and the guy is
just texting a lot, and you want him to call you and ask you
out or pursue you. We'll say you're online dating, this is
really common, a lot of times men will just want to message
you back and forth and they're either too scared, too afraid of
rejection, they don't want to come on too strong, or they just
want to text forever. They're kind of like time waster. This will
help you weed out the time wasters. If you've been
messaging back and forth a few times and he isn't asking for
your phone number, you can say something like, "It feels so
great getting to know you and I'm feeling a little burnt out on
texting, or on emailing, messaging." Or, "Feeling burnt out
on this dating app." Whatever the situation is.

You could, "It would feel so good to match your photo

with your voice, what do you think?" You're just kind of giving
him a little encouragement without jumping into your
masculine energy. See how many times I used the word feel
there? Very feminine energy place to come from. I'm feeling
a little burnt out messaging or on this app, or texting. It would
feel so good to match your photo with your voice, what do
you think? Now, a man should start to ask for your number
after that. If he doesn't, he's a time waster. I'd say just drop
him. Then when he calls he should ask you out. Things
should start rolling from that point, so maybe he just needed
a little encouragement, a little reinforcement there in order to
feel comfortable taking that next step.

If a man that, let's say, you met him out somewhere

and he's texting you a lot, you can always say, "I'm feeling a
little burnt out on texting. Would feel great to speak with you
sometime. Would feel great to meet up some time. I'm just
feeling a little burnt out on texting, what do you think?" Just
see what he does from there. A man should really pick up
that ball and it should start rolling from that point. Then you
just lean back in your feminine energy, you're warm, you're
open, you're inviting to him when he does show up, so he
doesn't feel like he's going to get rejected. Men are really
sensitive to rejection, just like we are. We can definitely be
that way as well. Men are used to it a lot, especially if they're
online dating or if they've been single for a long time, a lot of
times if they really like you especially, they want to know that
this is something you want, you know him pursuing you is
something you want. He's not going to be shot down or
rejected.

That is the pursue me trigger. I would love to hear

how this goes for you, and I will see you in the next video.
 The Happiness Trigger

In this video, I'm going to be talking about the happiness

trigger.

The happiness trigger is really what a man needs to

feel from you in order to feel really happy and fulfilled and
content in the relationship for the rest of his life. So men are
actually pretty simple, I found. They're much less complex
than we women can be, generally speaking. What I found in
working with clients over the years is that men just really
needs to feel these five things from you in order to trigger
this big sense of happiness and fulfillment within him that
makes him want to fall in love and really stay in love with you
for a lifetime.

So the first thing a man needs to feel in a relationship

is he has to feel needed. This is really important to talk
about, especially these days. Most women I work with are
really strong, smart, successful, independent women. That's
a fantastic thing. It's really important to have your masculine
energy and gear for yourself and your own life. We talked
about that a little bit in the priority trigger. The problem
happens when women take all of that amazing masculine
energy they have and they turn it on to a man by over-
functioning or over-giving or making a man feel that they
don't need him. Because men really just need to feel like
they can fulfill you in a romantic, masculine way, especially
the way like the economy is right now.

A lot of men feel ineffectual, like they feel like they

can't be like men and act like me. So if you can really make
a man feel like you need him in your life, not coming from a
place of neediness or desperation, but the fact that he really
fulfills you in a romantic way. A great way to do that is just let
him give to you. Men actually fall in love when they are
giving to us. They don't fall in love when we're giving to
them. It's a little counterintuitive. A lot of women think that
what men really want is a woman who is super giving and
nurturing all the time and just takes care of his every need.
But the truth is men cannot fall in love when we're over-
functioning and over-giving towards them. They fall in love
when they are giving to us. So in order to make a man feel
needed, just allow him to do things for you and make you
happy, and then show a lot of appreciation when he does.

So that brings me to the second thing that men need

in order to trigger this happiness in him, and that is they
need to feel appreciated. So I always say that
acknowledgment and appreciation are like the fuel that men
run on. Men love to know that what they do makes you
happy, that it's easy to make you happy, that you're not
always disappointed in him, or that he can never do anything
right. The man starts to feel that way, that's when things can
really go south in a relationship, I found. So acknowledgment
and appreciation. We just want to always make sure you're
letting a man know that what he does makes you happy, and
you can just do this with a simple thank you or "That feels so
good." It really goes along way. Just the simplest thing a
man does, he brings you coffee, or he hands you a napkin or
something like that, you want to really acknowledge and
show a lot of appreciation for who he is and what he's done.

So when a man gives to you, you don't have to

automatically like give him something right back in return,
because what he just really wants is that appreciation and
acknowledgment for who he is and what he's done. It's pretty
simple. I mean giving back to a man is fantastic, but I see so
many women make the mistake of just giving and giving and
hoping to get what they want from a man in return. I call it
giving to get. You really want to turn that around and stop
giving to get. Just lean back. Let a man give to you. Let him
make you happy and then show a lot of appreciation when
he does. Then you can give back from that place, absolutely,
but you want to do it coming from your feminine energy, just
leaning back and it's like your cup is like overflowing from all
of the wonderful things your man is doing for you and giving
to you.

So the third thing a man needs to feel in order to

trigger this intense happiness in him is he needs to feel
respected. Respect is such a huge thing for men in
relationships. It's different for us women. We tend to feel
loved when we feel cherished and adored and safe and
secure and understood. Well, men need different things in
order to trigger this happiness and feelings of love in him. A
man needs respect. He needs to feel that you respect him
and admire him. So if you're with a man who you don't really
respect and admire, this isn't going to work because it has to
be authentic. You can't be faking this.

So a man will just be able to feel it from you that you

respect him, and you really want to respect him as the
masculine energy partner in the relationship. Meaning you're
not jumping over into that masculine territory all the time by
picking up the slack for him or stomping all over his ideas or
suggestions. You want to really respect him as the
masculine partner.
 The next thing a man needs to feel in order to trigger
this happiness is he needs to feel sexually desirable by you,
and this is a huge one. So men look to us a lot of times to
feel sexually validated. Complimenting him, complimenting
something about his physique, or if there's something he
does in particular that makes you feel really good, really
make sure you are letting him know that you see him as like
a sexually desirable man. Very, very important.

The last thing is … Let me recap the first because

they all sort of go hand in hand. He needs to feel needed,
appreciated, respected, sexually desirable, and the last one
is accepted. I saved this one for last because it's super
important. We talked about this in a lot of his other triggers,
but I can't emphasize this enough. A man needs to feel that
he is 100% accepted for who he is, not who he's pretending
to be, but who he actually is. This all starts with you, of
course, loving and accepting yourself. That's how a man
feels safe to open up to you, then you can show him that you
totally accept him.

So he has to feel it from you on a deep level with all of

these five things. You can tell a man all day long how much
you accept him or how much you respect him, but if he
doesn't feel that from you in your energy and in your vibe,
he'll be able to pick that up and tell … he'll be able to feel
this incongruence. So you want to make sure you're actually
feeling these things, not just saying them as some sort of
superficial strategy to try to get what you want from him. It's
very important to not have an agenda like that.

So those are the five aspects of this happiness

trigger. I know this is going to work wonders for you in a
relationship or even if you're single and dating. A man will
feel so happy to be around you if you can make him feel
these five things. So I hope this was helpful and I will see
you in the next video.
 The Fluffy Pillow Trigger

In this video, I’m going to be talking about the fluffy pillow

trigger. This trigger is what is going to make a man come
running back to you even if he’s acting a little distant or
withdrawn or he’s pulling away. What you're going to want to
do is apply this trigger so he just wants to come running
back to you like you're this soft, warm, fluffy pillow. If you've
ever had to get out of bed early or if you didn't get much
sleep and all you want to do is crawl back into bed and to
snuggle up with your pillow, I can definitely relate to that
myself, that’s what you want to be to a man.

The concept behind this is the fact that men are a little
different than us when it comes to how they fall in love. This
is a little counter intuitive. We tend to fall in love and feel
really connected with men when they're right there in front of
us. For me personally, if a man is looking at me and touching
me and we’re talking and connecting, it’s just feeling really
good, that’s how we, women, tend to fall in love typically
whereas men fall in love when they're away from us. They
fall more deeply in love when they're away from us doing
their own thing and sort of missing us. They feel that hole
and that tension to want to come back, like I talked about in
the gravity trigger.

What happens is when a man pulls away, which is

normal, by the way … It’s normal for men to have to take
some space for themselves especially if they’ve been
spending a lot of time with us. They have to take that space
in order for their testosterone levels, for example, to build
back up and for them to feel like men again. It’s like a
physiological thing. If a man is doing his own thing or he
needs a little space, don’t take it personally. That’s the first
step. Don’t panic. Don’t take it personally. You want to give
him that space even before he needs it, even before he asks
for it. Just give him that space and just know that that’s when
men typically feel more deeply in love and in fact, they feel
that pull to want to come back to us. You have to give them
that space in order to do that.

What we can tend to do before I personally found this

out and knew about this information, if a man pulled away, I
would want to close that gap and so he wouldn’t feel that
tension. If you imagine there’s a big rubber band between
you and a man and he starts to pull away a little bit, if you
keep filling in that gap, there’s this slack in the rubber band.
He can’t feel that pull and that tension to come back towards
you.

What you want to do in order to trigger this feeling in

him to where he wants to come back towards you, once he’s
done taking some time for himself is just anchor yourself
right where you are and basically, what you want to do is
create this combination of space and softness. I talked about
space and softness a little bit in the fascination trigger so I’m
going to go a little more deeply into that in this video.
Creating space just means you're not chasing after a guy if
he’s taking some space for himself.

You're actually creating that space by leaning back,

going deep into yourself and your feminine energy, not
jumping into your masculine energy by chasing a man down,
asking him questions about why he needs space or what’s
happening in the relationship. That’s probably the worst thing
you could do when a man is acting a little distant or if he’s
pulling away. Basically, anchor yourself right where you are.
Don’t chase him down and actually take a step back even
energetically.

Pull all your focus off of him and put it on yourself and
your own life where it belongs. This would be a great time to
go outside, go for a hike, or go work out, or call up your
girlfriends. You can go out and have an amazing time with
them. Forget about the man and don’t be checking your
phone every five minutes. You really want to pull all that
energy and focus and attention off of him and put it on
yourself and your own life. That’s what creates that space
and that tension for him to want to come back towards you.

It’s not enough in and of itself. That’s where the

softness comes in. When a man does show back up and he
will if he’s the right man for you and if he’s really interested in
pursuing you, he will absolutely show back up once you give
him some space to do that. When he does show up, you
want to be warm and soft and inviting and receptive to him.
Think about big, fluffy pillow, super soft and inviting and
warm and open.

If he comes back towards you after taking some

space, let’s say he texts you or he calls you, you don’t want
to immediately start asking questions about what he’s been
doing or where he’s been or why did he need to take some
space for himself. You just want to be warm and open and
receptive to him, not strategically to try to get some result for
him. It has to be authentic.
 If he shows up and he asks how you've been, don’t
immediately turn it right back onto him. Really get into your
feelings. You can say, “Oh, I've been feeling so great. I spent
the last couple days hanging out with my friends, having an
amazing time,” or, “I feel so exhilarated after the run I just
went on. Feels so good getting outside.” We’re expressing
those feelings like we talked about in the vulnerability trigger
and you are being warm and open and receptive to him.

Now, I just do want to add here. If a man always

needs a lot of space, like if he comes close and then he just
backs off, there’s only so much intimacy and closeness that
some men can tolerate, so if you can tolerate, let’s say this
much intimacy and closeness but a man can only tolerate
that much, if you get too close to him, he’s going to always
feel like he has to back off. That’s not a very healthy
dynamic. Again, it’s normal absolutely for pretty much all
men to take a little space for themselves from time to time
and it’s a healthy thing. You should do that for yourself as
well absolutely.

I tend to need a lot of alone time and space and then

again, I feel connected when I’m with a man. For men,
again, sometimes, it’s the opposite. They feel very intensely
in short bursts and then, they have to take some space for
themselves and as long as it’s not this drastic thing where a
man’s disappearing for days or weeks at a time. If a man’s
doing that, that’s a pretty clear indication he’s not the right
man for you but if he needs to take some space for himself
and he stays in contact with you for the most part, fantastic.
When he shows up, you want to be warm and open. You
want to be like an invitation, like that soft fluffy pillow that he
just wants to get close to and stay close to forever.
 That is the fluffy pillow trigger. It’s a combination of
space and softness. Every interaction you have with a man,
really you can ask yourself, where’s the space, where is the
softness. You can also think of this as distance and warmth.
Distance is you're leaning back. You are embodying this
feminine magnetism and you're warm and open at the same
time. It’s sort of the opposite of what we kind of feel
compelled to do. A lot of times, especially if a man pulls
away like this or we’re feeling triggered, you want to lean
forward and jump into our masculine energy and make
something happen, everyone shut ourselves down
emotionally and close off our hearts at the same time
because we don’t want to get hurt. We don’t want to get
rejected.

What I’m asking you to do with this trigger is the

opposite. Lean back. Create that space for him to come back
towards you and keep your energy open. Keep your heart
open to him so he’s not scared to come back to you. He
doesn’t feel like he’s going to be interrogated or you're not
going to be accusing or suspicious of him. You just want to
be warm and open and receptive to him. That is the fluffy
pillow trigger. I know this is going to work wonders for you.
Really, in any situation with a man, just give him space and
softness. It’s a little counter intuitive but once you practice it,
you will start getting some amazing results and it will
definitely start to feel like second nature. It will start to feel
much more natural to you because you're going to see how
amazing this works, so I will see you in the next video.
 The Love Me Like You Should
Trigger

In this video, I’m going to be talking about the love me like

you should trigger. This is really a fun one. It’s all about
triggering a man’s desire to show his love for you in ways
that really feel good to you and that you like the most, so this
one is great.

As individuals, men and women, it’s not a gender

thing, we just all have different ways that we like to show
love to someone else, and different ways that we like to
receive love, or where we feel most loved when someone’s
doing something specific for us, so it’s really important to get
in touch with those things.

You can really ask yourself, “When do I feel most

loved from a man?” It could be any man, it could be if you’re
single looking to attack a guy. When do I feel most loved and
adored by a man? If you’re in a relationship, what does your
man do that makes you feel the most loved, or you just
almost can't get enough of it. It’s really important. Then get in
touch with how you like to show your love to someone else.

There’s this great book by Gary Chapman called 'The

Five Love Languages'. You may have heard of it. I will give
you some great examples of some different ways that we
like to show love to others versus how we like to receive
love. Those are physical touch and affection, quality time
spent together, words of affirmation, it’s like complementing
your partner, saying nice things to them, actual gifts like
buying a gift for someone else and acts of service, doing
little things for your partner or when they just do something
nice for you.

Really ask yourself, "How do I like to receive love and

how do I like to show my love to someone else?" It might be
the same one. A lot of times the way we like to show our
love to a man is the same way that we like to receive his
love. I'll just speak personally, for me physical touch is way
at the top of the list. I would say maybe words of affirmation
is like a distant second and everything else it’s nice, I
appreciate it absolutely, but unless that physical touch is
there, I’m not going to really feel loved and it’s hard for me to
develop attraction and connection with someone unless
that’s there because that’s at the top of my list. What is it for
you? Very important to get in touch with that.

Then there’s three steps to this trigger. The first one

is, you want to come from a place of just abundance, and
appreciation, and acknowledgement of what your man is
doing or what any man is doing that already makes you
really happy, and this is super important. If you’re coming
from a place of lack, like I need you to do this for me
otherwise I don’t feel loved, that will just push a man away
faster than almost anything else. You have to really come
from a place of appreciation and acknowledgement for what
a man is already doing that makes you happy. A simple
thank you, or that feels so good when you do this goes a
long way, so that’s step one.

Step two is inviting a man into doing something for

you. I will start really small, let’s say acts of service is the
way you like to receive love. Let’s say something breaks in
your house and you say, "My internet is not working. It would
feel so good to get some help with this. Is this something
that you could help me out with?" Just start really small or
whatever it is that makes you feel the most loved. If it’s
quality time spent together you could say, "It would feel so
good to spend some time with you this weekend." Anything
like that.

When a man does that, most men are going to want

to give to you and make you happy, especially if he’s a really
good masculine energy man who’s interested in your
feelings and wants to make you happy. If he’s not, what
would you want with that guy anyway, right? If this is a good
man and his energy is coming towards you, in general he
seems to really want to take your feelings into account, he’s
going to be thrilled when you do this step two. It’s like giving
him a cheat sheet into something that’s going to make you
happy. Most men would be thrilled with that.

Step three is, when he does that, when he

accomplishes something for you, I like to think of it as
accomplishing these little quests for you because men really
want to be your hero, they do especially masculine energy
men. They have this desire to be a woman’s hero and really
take care of her in an emotional sense. It’s a really amazing
thing. Most men are really great guys who want to give to
you and make you happy. Once you start attracting this kind
of guy you will start to see absolutely.

Steps three is, when he accomplishes these bigger

and bigger quests for you, you want to just continue to show
acknowledgement and appreciation for him. Then giving
back from that place is fantastic. You just don’t want to be
giving and giving to a man hoping to get something in return.
I call that giving to get, and that’s coming from a place of
lack, coming from a place of needing something from a man
that he's not willing or able to give to you right now. Very sort
of desperate needy vibe we can give off when we’re coming
from that place. That’s why it’s so important to come from a
place of abundance and appreciation, that’s step one. I’ll just
recap the steps for you.

Step two is, inviting a man to do, start small, small

things that would make you feel happy. Step three is
showing more and more appreciation for him when he does
those things. Then giving back from that place is fantastic.
Most women are doing things the other way around with
giving to get. Something I always like to mention is, anger
and resentment build in direct proportion to the amount of
energy and effort we’re putting out in the relationship as
women and that includes mental effort. If you are constantly
doing things for a man because you’re trying to make his
step up and love you the way you want to be loved, if you’re
doing that, if you’re giving to get in that way, if he doesn’t
behave the way you want him to you’re going to feel angry
and resentful and disappointed. There’s really no way
around that.

I don’t know a woman on this planet who hasn’t

experienced that giving too much in the relationship hoping
to get something in return, and then when they don’t get it
they feel angry and resentful. It shuts down the connection
and the attraction will definitely start to fade. That is the love
me like you should trigger. I would love to hear how this
goes for you and I will see you in the next video.
 The Connection Trigger
In this video, I’m going to be talking about the connection
trigger. The connection trigger is what’s going to really
deepen the connection and the intimacy between you and a
man even in those tough situations or those moments where
you're feeling angry or frustrated or he’s feeling angry and
frustrated. Typically, men and women both, we want to shut
ourselves down in those situations. We close down our
hearts to each other and shut down the lines of
communication or we just want to argue and fight and get
our point across. That doesn’t deepen the connection, where
I found when you apply this connection trigger, you can
actually bring a man closer in those moments when you're
feeling a strong emotion like anger or disappointment, all
those unpleasant feelings that we want to sort of stuff down
or distance our self from, or not feel.

It’s basically the running away from those emotions

that causes this disconnect and shuts down the
communication and the intimacy in the relationship. With the
connection trigger, I’m really going to encourage you to stay
open to yourself and to a man. It could be a man you're just
dating or a man you've been in a relationship with for years,
really stay open to him 100% of the time even when you're
feeling the urge to want to shut down. I’m going to show you
exactly how to do this. I’d give you lots of different examples.

Let’s say you're feeling angry with a man and just use
that … I love working with anger because one of the number
one emotions we want to sort of run away from and not feel,
we want to sort of stuff that down and be more reasonable
than that and rise above it, and we’re just shutting down our
hearts and shutting down the connection with a man when
we do that. Typically, if a man does something that makes
us angry, we want to either blame him or attack him or we’re
afraid he’s going to attack us by doing something, even
something subtle like shutting down or withdrawing.

What you don’t want to do in those moments when

you're feeling angry or frustrated or disappointed with a man
is blame him or make him wrong or hold him responsible for
your feelings. The first step here is to just stop any sort of
forward leaning behavior like, “Okay, I need to tell this guy
what he did wrong.” Just stop and lean back energetically,
physically, verbally, everything. Lean back into your feminine
energy.

Step two is finding your feelings. See if you can even

locate that feeling in your body. You might feel anger
somewhere like in your stomach or your chest or something
and just really get in touch with that. Step three is speaking
your feelings in just a very simple statement. I feel blank. I’m
feeling a little angry right now. Now, notice I’m not saying the
word you here. A lot of therapists will say something like,
“When you did this, I felt angry,” or, “I felt upset when you did
this.” I would really encourage you, if you can to just take
that word you out of there. I felt a little upset hearing that
rather than you upset me or you made me feel so angry
when you said this thing.

When a man feels like you're sort of blaming him or

he did something wrong, he’ll tend to just completely shut
down. Even if it is because of him why you're angry, even if
he did do something insensitive, which men do all the time
just like we can do, it happens in relationships so you don’t
want to be afraid of these moments. You want to use them to
really deepen the connection and the intimacy between the
two of you. Step one is stop any sort of forward leaning
movement. Step two is find your feelings. Step three is just
simply speak your feelings. Step four is just stop and listen
to what he says basically and then you can repeat steps
one, two, three if necessary.

If he is a good, high quality masculine energy man, he

will listen to you and want to take your feelings into account
in those moments. I've had moments in my past where after I
started learning some of these tools, I would say like, “I can’t
believe you did that.” You just feel the man completely shut
down or a few seconds later, I could say, “I’m feeling angry
right now.” It just opens him right back up and they're like
interested in how you're feeling hopefully. If he’s a good
man, if he’s the right man for you, he should be interested in
wanting to jump into his masculine energy and help solve the
problem like, “Oh, you're feeling angry. You're not feeling
good. What happened? What can I do to fix that?”

Not that it’s going to happen 100% of the time but I

promise you, going through these four steps will give you the
best shot of opening up that connection and actually bringing
a man closer in that moment where he feels like he can help
solve a problem or figure something out for you rather than
feeling blamed or attacked. Men can kind of tend to take
everything as like a correction or a criticism. They're so
much more sensitive to that kind of thing than we think they
are typically, so if you can, as much as you can, take
responsibility for your feelings, not blame him or make him
wrong or attack him, the more that connection can actually
deepen. The intimacy will deepen. You actually become
closer in that moment than you were before whenever this
happen once you learn how to start doing this correctly.
Those are the four steps if you're feeling a strong emotion or
feeling angry with men.

If a man is feeling angry with you … Again, this

happens all the time in relationships. We’re like running up
against each other’s stuff continually and it’s okay. It’s okay.
If he’s feeling angry, rather than getting defensive or shutting
down, if you can really say something like, “Wow, I can really
feel your anger,” or, “I can feel your frustration. I can feel
how important this is to you.” Let’s say he said something
critical or something that didn't feel good to you. You can say
something like, “And those words that I just heard really
didn't feel good to me. They made me feel like I wanted to
shut down and defend myself.”

See how I’m not even using the word you there when
I’m referring … I’m not referring to his behavior at all. I’m not
saying, “When you said that, you made me angry.” Just,
“Hearing those words really don’t feel good to me and I don’t
want to shut down or feel like I have to defend myself.” You
can also say, “I don’t want to argue with you. I love you too
much to argue or fight with you. Is there a way we could talk
about this in a way that feels better?”

I’m not even using that word you there either.

Sometimes, you do have to set context and it’s okay to say,
“Oh, I can feel how important this is to you,” because you're
not blaming a man or making him wrong. Those are a whole
bunch of things you can say in those moments. “Oh, I can
feel your frustration. I can feel your anger and those words
didn't feel good to me. They made me feel like I want to shut
down, and I don’t ever want to do that with you. I don’t ever
want to argue with you. This doesn’t feel good, so is there a
way we can work this out or is there a way we can talk about
this that feels better where we can stay open to each other?”

Really staying open in that moment, this all goes back

to acceptance, which is so huge. I talk about acceptance in a
few of these videos because it’s so crucially important. A
man needs to feel if you can accept him and his feelings and
that you can handle his anger … Most men absolutely can
handle our anger. They can. They can handle our strong
emotions. They just don’t like it when we say it’s their fault or
we need them to do something right now to fix this for us.
You want to really pull back and make sure you don’t have
an agenda like, “I need you to solve this emotion I’m feeling.”

You want to take responsibility for your own feelings

in that moment and you'll really start to see sometimes,
these tough situations really bring you closer with a man
when you learn how to do this correctly and speak from your
feminine energy rather than being up in your head in your
masculine energy trying to solve things or make something
happen. It’s basically just your job as the feminine energy
partner to express show you're feeling and then that’s it.
That’s the end. Let him decide what he wants to do with that.

Basically, you just want to watch what he does and

see how it makes you feel. If he is a good masculine energy
man, typically, he will absolutely care about how you're
feeling. If a man isn’t interested or doesn’t care about how
you're feeling, doesn’t want to do anything to make you feel
better, pretty clear indication that this is not going to be a
good long term relationship partner to you. I know this is a
huge concept. It’s very, very important, the connection
trigger can really help you in any tough situation with a man,
so I would love to hear how this goes for you and I’ll see you
in the next video.
 The Love Trigger
In this video I'm going to be talking about the love trigger.
The love trigger is what makes a man fall deeply in love with
you, and want to stay in love with you forever. Even after
years and years of being together, and even if you've gone
through some difficult times in your relationship, which most
couples absolutely do. If you can really embody the three
aspects of this love trigger, a man will just want to stay by
your side forever, because he just feels so good every time
he's with you.

So the first part of this love trigger is a man has to feel

that his life is better with you in it, than without you in it. And
that sort of sounds like common sense, but the way to go
about making a man feel this way is a little counter intuitive.
So, when most women hear this they think "Okay, I need to
tell a man how great we would be together," or "How great
we are together," and they feel this need to talk about it and
convince him of what a great partner she would be, or what
a great woman she is. And it is completely the wrong way to
go.

When you're in convincing mode like that, you're in

your masculine energy, you're up in your head, strategizing,
trying to make something happen. So you really want to
switch into your feminine energy, and we do that by basically
creating positive experiences with a man one moment at a
time, that will really get you right down into the present
moment. Rather than worrying about the past, or being
anxious about the future, you want to be right smack dab in
the middle of the present moment. When you do that, you
really embody this feminine magnetism that makes a man
just want to be around you all the time, and he'll really fall in
love with you when you can do that.

So, that's the first step, create positive experiences

with a man one moment at a time, so he really feels that his
life is better with you in it. Again, it's not something you can
talk your way into with a man, like so many of these triggers
he has to feel it for you on a very deep, instinctual level.
Very, very important.

The second piece of this love trigger is a man has to

feel 100% accepted for who he is. Not who he's pretending
to be, but who he really, actually is. And, like so many of
these other big concepts, this acceptance all starts with you
really loving, and embracing, and accepting all the different
parts of yourself. So a man won't believe that you accept him
until he really sees that you accept you, that you love and
accept all the parts of yourself.

We talked about this a little bit in the vulnerability

trigger, so when a man feels that you feel safe with yourself,
you feel accepting of yourself, you can express those
feelings to him, he will start to open up to you more and
more, and then you can really be there with him, with all the
acceptance in the world. And it's just this really amazing
feeling.

So that's the second part of the love trigger, a man

needs to feel that he is 100% accepted for who he is, and
that you're not taking everything so personally and placing
meaning on everything. He can just open up to you, and be
himself, and he feels completely safe and accepted. That is
so crucially important.
 And the third part of this love trigger is that a man
needs to feel that you have really high standards for
yourself, and you value yourself so much that you just would
never even dream of accepting bad treatment, or being
treated like an option or a backup plan with a man. So, it's
this combination of "Oh, she has all these high standards for
herself. She's not just going to accept any guy that comes
along, and jump into a relationship with him."

She kind of has these high standards, and he has to

prove himself to you, not the other way around. That,
combined with the fact that he feels completely accepted by
you, and that his life is much better with you in it, that is like
this magical combination that triggers a mans love and
devotion, and really keeps it going for a lifetime. It's like this
huge honor that you're allowing him to get close to you, and
be in your life, not the other way around.

So when you do this, a man will start to feel like he

has you on a pedestal a little bit, which is kind of a foreign
feeling to a lot of us women. We can tend to put a man on a
pedestal, and want to show him what a great woman we are
by doing things for him, and giving to him, and being
nurturing. And that's our masculine energy behavior, people
are surprised to hear that, but giving and nurturing are
masculine traits, believe it or not, because they're about
doing things and taking action.

So, if you can really have high standards for yourself,

not in an ego driven way, but just really knowing your deep
value as a woman, and let me tell you, as a woman you are
so valuable. Men need us in so many ways, they need us to
have this whole complete life, because, like I mentioned in
some of these videos, we are way deeper than them in my
many ways. We're way more conscious than them, and
we're more connected to ourselves than they are. So they
need us to get that connection, and feel like they have this
full life.

So this is really, really important. Let me recap, the

first part of this love trigger is making a man feel that his life
is better with you in it. The second part is when a man feels
100% accepted for who he is deep down. And the third part
is when a man knows that you have high standards, that
you're not going to tolerate bad treatment, or anything that
doesn't feel good to you. So it's like this huge honor that
you're allowing a man to come close to you, and be a part of
your life, which it is, this is a huge honor, you really want to
see yourself as the prize in a relationship, not the other way
around.

So that is the love trigger, and this is really what

keeps these good feelings going between the two of you for
a lifetime. So I hope this was helpful for you, and I would
love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this.
 Common Mistakes

In this video I wanna talk about some of the biggest mistakes

I see women make when it comes to applying some of these
triggers and working with these tools, that actually prevent
them from getting the results that they want in their love life.
So these are really important. You wanna make sure you're
not making any of these mistakes.

The first one is: not being authentic. So, basically, you
can't pretend any of it. You can't, for example, you can't
pretend to play it cool, or pretend that you're busy, or not
interested in a man in order to attract him in any sort of
permanent, lasting way. That's a great example of where
being inauthentic actually works against you, because if
you're pretending to be hard to get, for example, you're only
going to attract the kind of men who are interested in the
conquest.

Or you won't be able to keep it going forever. And

once a man comes close, you can't keep that going in any
sort of permanent way. All of these tools hinge on
authenticity. It has to be super authentic and coming
organically out of your feminine energy, rather than up in
your head, strategizing, trying to make something happen.
Or make a man do what you want, this one time. So, that's
the first mistake, being inauthentic.

The second one is: not being patient. And I,

personally, struggle with this all the time. I'm not a very
patient person. Maybe you can relate to that. Typically, what
women do is, they find all these tools and then they apply
them all at once, and then they expect a man to turn around
on a dime. And sometimes that happens, if you're doing
them correctly. But, a lot of the time, a man is used to us
pushing and leaning forward, and being in our masculine
energy. So when we pull that energy off of him and put it on
ourselves, where it belongs, it takes a little while sometimes
for a man to recalibrate and get used to the new dynamic.

But I promise you, if you give it some time and keep

working with these triggers and applying these tools, a man
will start to come towards you, if he's a masculine energy
man, and if he's the right man for you. You wanna be patient.
You wanna really work with this system, as a whole, rather
than applying a trigger here and there, and hoping that a
man is going to immediately snap to and start to behave
differently. Sometimes that does happen, yes, but what you
want are permanent, lasting results.

In order to get that, you have to really be patient and

work with the system as a whole. Not in little bits and pieces.
The last mistake I see women make is not getting
personalized help with their unique situation. That's where
staying in the Goddess Club will really, really help you
because I'll be personally answering your questions and
helping you apply some of these triggers and tools to your
very unique, personalized situation.

I'm so happy to have you in the program and I hope

you stay in the Goddess Club, so I can continue working with
you personally. It would be such an honor to do that. I am so
happy that you joined this program and I really look forward
to continue working with you.
 What’s Next?
For continued training, make sure that you stay signed up for
The Goddess Club in order to learn everything you need to
keep a guy interested in you and get your questions
answered about your specific situation.

For other programs and information, go check out

Commitment Connection…

https://commitmentconnection.com/