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Peacemaking in Community

Erin M. LaMont

School of Unrestricted Education, Southeastern University

EDUC 5363-90: Educational Leadership

Dr. Lori Dykstra

September 22, 2020

Janine stepped into the classroom with a knot in her stomach. She had just had a run-in

with another mom over what should have been such a small issue. It was really a difference in

parenting styles, but the interaction had not gone well. Of course, her director had just

reminded them this morning during opening about resolving conflict using the Matthew 18

model. Was this really one of those times? It was not that much of a big deal, was it? With the

opportunity for gathering in community comes the opportunity for loving one another through

conflict. How that conflict is handled indicates if the community is one of peacemaking or one

of peace-faking.

While you might not first expect it, the Classical Conversations community day can be a

minefield of potential conflicts just waiting to be stepped on. That may seem odd when you

consider that we are a Christian community, with the mission of “to know God and to make

Him known,” but it is really no different than in any setting where you gather a group of people

together (Classical Conversations, 2020). There is always potential for conflict, whether it is

someone’s toes getting stepped on in a misunderstanding, the unjustified slandering of a fellow

community member, or something in between. There are two main types of conflict found in a

CC community: interpersonal and instructional. Interpersonal conflicts are the ones that are

related to the people around us. In a CC day these happen in three main categories. The first is

related to adult-to-adult communications, such as a conflict that happens as a result of

interactions between a director and a tutor, a director and a parent, a tutor and a parent, or a

parent and another parent. The adult-to-child relationships can also trigger conflicts, as in

exchanges between a tutor and a child, or a parent and a child. Lastly, child-to-child encounters

are another potential conflict minefield manifested in interactions between siblings, classmates,
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or friends. Instructional conflicts on the other hand are those that are related to the

assignments or material being studied. These can be found in the Foundations, Essentials, or

Challenge programs. One example of a potential instructional conflict would be when the

presentation that one student gives includes something that is not acceptable material in

another family. Another would be when a student has a bad attitude towards the material

being learned or comes in to class unprepared. Instructional conflict can also be found when a

Challenge student is asked to debate a side of an issue they disagree with. While these types of

interactions do not always lead to conflict, sometimes they do.

Whatever the type of conflict, how we respond to it in our community reflects the kind of

training we have received. Peacemakers are willing to pursue reconciliation, even at risk to

their own comfort. They are willing to resolve turmoil. Peacemaking is a proactive process.

Some peacemakers we can look to in our own journeys are the Apostle Paul (Phil 4:2-9. New

Living Translation) and Jesus (Matthew 18:15-35). These skills can and should be taught. On

the other hand, peace-fakers are those who would rather steer clear of a disagreement (Sande,

2004, pp. 22-23). These are people who do not want to rock the boat. They would rather avoid

conflict by keeping the parties separated so they can avoid escalation. Peace-faking is a

reactive process. While doing whatever we can to keep the peace may sound like a nice,

pleasant solution, the reality is the opposite. Avoiding conflict leads to negative feelings that

can eat away at us and result in unforgiveness and bitterness. How we handle conflict when we

find ourselves in the midst of it shows if we are peacemakers or peace-fakers.

How should you respond if you realize that you have been a peace-faker and want to

become a peacemaker? There are three biblical steps that will help you walk through just
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about any conflict you come across, when you apply them with a prayerful heart and with the

power of the Holy Spirit. The first is examining your own behavior. The gospel of Matthew says

we should look to our own actions first before we examine others (Matthew 7:1-5). Examining

the role we have played in a conflict, owning up to our actions, and seeking forgiveness can

diffuse many situations. Second, if we are the ones who have been offended, we need to stop

and consider is this instance really something that we should feel offended by (Sande, 2004, pp.

79-99). The Bible calls for unity and loving our neighbor (1 Peter 4:8). Sometimes the best way

to glorify God is to overlook an offense. Of course, when we offer forgiveness in that way, we

need to truly forgive, and not continue to harbor bitterness in our hearts, looking for a “gotcha”

moment in the future. Just as the Lord has removed our sins from us (Psalm 103:1), we should

do the same for others. Lastly, when conflict with another needs to be reconciled, the model

that Jesus laid out for us in Matthew 18 should be followed. Do not broadcast your grievances

to anyone who will listen, but go to the person and speak face to face. Widen your circle as

necessary, but only in following the process laid out before us (Sande, 2004). Using these

Biblical steps to resolving conflict will move you from peace-faker to peacemaker.

While conflict will always be a part of being in community together, how we handle it

will glorify God and be a witness of the gospel to others. That evening, as Janine reflected on

her day, she gave thanks to God. As she was leaving community that afternoon, she found the

mom from earlier and pulled her aside. She apologized for overreacting and losing her temper.

The other mom took ownership for her words as well, and they were both quick to forgive.

Janine was happy that she had not let the issue fester. Being a peacemaker had just

strengthened her relationship with this new friend, and with the Lord.
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Reference List

Classical Conversations. (2020). CC's Mission. Retrieved from Classical Conversations:

www.members.classicalconversations.com/node/112662

Sande, K. (2004). The Peacemaker. Grand Rapids: Baker Books.

Tyndale House Publishers. (2004). Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Wheaton, Il: Tyndale

House Publishers.