Anger Management

ANGER MANAGEMENT
-KHUSHBOO SHAH
COUNSELLING PSYCHOLOGIST
MA, PGDCP
What is Anger?
Thoughts that often occur:
• I'm being treated unfairly

• I'm being disrespected
• They're breaking a rule or standard
• I won't stand for it
Physical Sensations - The Adrenaline
Response
• heart racing or pounding - enabling good blood supply around our bodies
• breathing quickly - allowing more oxygen around the body
• tense muscles - a state of readiness to fight or flee
• shaking
• hot, sweating
• light-headed
• stomach churning or butterflies
• fist or teeth clenching
Behaviours might include:
• staring & angry facial expression

• aggressive body posture
• attacking
• hitting out (or urge to hit out)
• arguing
• shouting or snapping at others
• running or storming away
• staying silent (maybe inwardly seething)
• sulking
5 Apects form (see attached)
• Practise noticing these thoughts, feelings and behaviours - the more you
practise, the more you will notice them. The more you notice them, the more
you will be able to make helpful and effective changes.
• This 5 Aspects' (of life experience) form will help you practise.
Making changes -Behaviour
When you look at your '5 Aspects' sheet where you wrote down your thoughts, emotions,
behaviours and physical sensations, notice particularly what you wrote for 'behaviours
• What helped you cope and get through it?

• What didn‟t I do or what did I avoid doing?
• What automatic reactions did I have?
• What would other people have seen me doing?
• What were the consequences of what I did? What happened later because of it? Did it
affect the way I felt later?
Now ask yourself, what could I have done differently?
• What would someone else have done in that situation? (it might help to think about
particular people that you know, and what they might have done differently)
• Have there been times in the past when I would have done something else?
• If I had paused, and taken a breath, what would I have done?
• Write down several options that you might have done differently if it had occurred to you,
then ask yourself:
•  If I had tried that, how would the situation have been different?
•  How would it have affected what I felt?
•  How would it have affected what I thought?
•  Would it have been more helpful or effective for me, another person or for the situation?
•  What would the consequences have been of doing something differently?
Dealing with Distressing Situations:
• Do something different (to what you normally do)
• Pause, take a breath
• Mindfulness - learn Mindful Breathing
• Focus your attention fully on another activity - Mindful activity
• Relaxation techniques -
• Put on some music sing and dance along, or just listen
attentively (use music that is likely to help you feel your desired
emotion)
• Meditation or Prayer
• Help others
• Be with others - contact a friend, visit family
• Talk to someone
• Grounding techniques - look around you, what do you see,
• Engage in a hobby or other interest - if you don't have
one, find one! What have you enjoyed in the past? What
have you sometimes thought about doing but not got
around to?
• Write down your thoughts and feelings - get them out of
your head
• Just take one step at a time - don't plan too far ahead
• Pamper yourself - do something you really enjoy, or
something relaxing
• Do something creative
• Use Safe Place Imagery
• Positive self-talk - encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can
do this, I am strong and capable - find an affirmation that
works for you (even if you don't believe it at first!). Write it
down and memorise it for when you need it.
• Tell yourself: "This will pass, it's only temporary".

"I've got through this before, I can do it now". When
we're going through a tunnel and become fearful of being
trapped, there's no point in stopping - we just have to
carry on in order to reach the end of the tunnel. That light
is there, and waiting!
Activity & Physical Exercise
• Makes us feel better

• Makes us feel less tired
• Motivates us to do more
• Improves our ability to think more clearly
• Uses up the adrenaline resources created by anxiety
and anger
• Increases motivation
• Makes us generally more healthy
Identify Your Triggers
• What or when are the times when you

are more likely to get angry?
• If you can see the patterns, then you
can do something about those situations,
and do something different –for a better
outcome.
•  Behind the wheel?
•  At work?
•  When stressed?
•  With certain people?
•  When you've been drinking or using
other substances?
What to do when you feel angry
• Walk away -you can come back and talk later

• Ask yourself:
• What am I reacting to?
• What is it that's really pushing my buttons here?
• Am I getting things out of proportion?
• How important is this really?
• How important will it be in 6 months time?
What to do when you feel angry
• Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?
• What's the worst (and best) that could happen? What's most likely to happen?
• Am I jumping to conclusions about what this person meant? Am I mis-reading
between the lines? Is it possible that they didn't mean that? Is this fact or
opinion?
• What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or
need from me? Is there a compromise?
• What would be the consequences of responding angrily?
• Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and
effective action to take?(for me, for the situation, for the other person)
• Visualise yourself dealing with the situation in a calm, non-aggressive but
assertive way, respecting the rights and opinions of all others involved.
STOPP Technique
• Stop! Don‟t act immediately.
• Take a breath
• Observe – what‟s happening, what am I
responding to?
• Put in some Perspective – pull back.
• What‟s the bigger picture? What would
someone else make of this? Is there another
way of looking at this? What would I say to a
friend?
• Play to your Principles – Practise what
works! What‟s the best thing to do, for me,
for others, for this situation
METAPHORS for IMAGERY
• The Mountain
• Whatever the weather, or whatever happens on the
surface of the mountain – the mountain stands firm,
strong, grounded, permanent. We can be like that
mountain, observing thoughts, feelings, sensations,
knowing inner stillness.
• The River
• Items floating down the river – perhaps leaves or bits of
mucky debris (thoughts, feelings, images) – instead of
struggling to float, we can stand on the bank watching it
all go by
• Thought train
• We can sit on the train, watching the scenery (thoughts,
images, sensations) go by, or stand on the platform
watching the thought train pass by – we don’t have to
jump on it.
How to deal with the physical sensations of
anger
 Practice calming or mindful breathing-

this one act alone will help reduce the
physical sensations, emotions and
intensity of thoughts.
• Visualisation: Breathe in blue (for calm)
and/or green (for balance) and breathe
out red.
THANK YOU!

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ANGER MANAGEMENT

• I'm being treated unfairly

• staring & angry facial expression

• What helped you cope and get through it?

• Tell yourself: "This will pass, it's only temporary".

• Makes us feel better

• What or when are the times when you

• Walk away -you can come back and talk later

 Practice calming or mindful breathing-

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