SAINT EDITH STEIN
TWO DIALOGUES
I. Ambrose and Augustine,
II. Queen
Esther and the Carmel
For
December 7, 1940, Feast of St Ambrose:
(Hear Augustine, Confessions IX, and Ambrose, Deus Creator Omnium)
mbrose (kneeling
in his room before the opened Holy Scriptures):
ow the last one is
gone. I thank you, O Lord,
For this
quiet hour in the night.
You know
how much I like to serve your flock;
I want to
be a good shepherd to your lambs,
That's why
this door is open day and night,
And anyone
can enter unannounced.
Oh, how
much suffering and bitter need is brought in here
The burden
becomes almost too great for this father's heart.
But you, my
God, you surely know our weakness
And at the
right time remove the yoke from our shoulders.
You give me
rest, and from this book,
The holy
book, you speak to me
And pour
new strength into my soul.
(He opens
it, makes a great sign of the cross, and begins to read
silently.)
Augustine (appears in the door and
remains standing, hesitant):
He is
alone. I could go to him
And let him
know the struggles of my heart.
But he is
speaking with his God,
Seeking
rest and refreshment in the Scriptures
After a
long day's work and care.
Oh no, I'll
not disturb him.
I'll kneel
down a little here;
Then I'll
surely take something of his peace with me.
(He
kneels.)
Ambrose (looks up):
What was
that? Didn't I hear a rustling at the door?
(He gets
up.)
Come
closer, friend, you who come at night.
In the dark
I cannot see who you are.
(He goes to
the door with the lamp.)
Is it
possible? Augustine? Peace be with you!
You dear,
infrequent guest, please do come in.
(He takes
him by the hand, leads him in, shows him a seat, and sits down
facing him.)
Augustine:
Oh, how
your goodness shames me, holy man!
I really
have not earned such a welcome.
Ambrose:
Don't you
remember how happily I greeted you
When you
stood here before me for the first time?
You, the
star of oratory
That
stirred Carthage to amazement,
That did
not even find its match in Rome,
I was happy
to see
Within the
confines of my Milan.
Augustine:
Oh, if you
had only seen into my heart!
I wasn't
worthy to be seen by you.
Ambrose:
I saw you
often when I spoke to the people.
Your
burning eye hung on my lips.
Augustine:
Your mouth
overflowed with heavenly wisdom.
But I was
not interested in wisdom.
I did not
come for wisdom.
I only
heard how you put together the words;
Only an
orator's magic power attracted me.
That, what
you spoke Christ's holy doctrine
I wasn't
eager to know, it seemed like vanity to me,
Already
refuted by my teachers long ago.
But while I
listened to the words alone,
I was drawn
I hardly noticed it into the meaning.
One word
of Scripture oft repeated
Deeply
affected me and gave me much to think about:
"The letter
deadens," you said, "The spirit gives life."
When the
Manichæans laughed over the Word of Christ,
Was not
this because those fools
Only
understood what they were reading literally,
While the
spirit remained sealed to them?
Ambrose:
But the
Holy Spirit's ray fell on you.
Thank him
who freed you from error's chains,
And thank
her, too, who interceded for you.
O
Augustine, thank God for your mother.
She is your
angel before the eternal throne;
Her
commerce is in heaven, and her petitions
Fall, like
steady drops, heavily into the bowl
Of
compassion.
Augustine:
Yes, I
surely know what would I have become without her?
Oh, how
many hot tears did I cost her,
I, her
unfaithful son, who really don't deserve it!
Ambrose:
Therefore,
she now weeps sweet tears of joy,
And she is
richly rewarded for all her suffering.
Augustine:
She already
wept tears of joy when she perceived
That I had
escaped the Manichæan net.
I was still
deep in night, tormented by doubts.
But she
assured me optimistically
That the
day of peace was now no longer far away.
While still
alive, she was to see me entirely safe.
Ambrose:
The Lord
himself probably gave her certainty.
Her firm
faith did not mislead her.
Augustine:
But I still
had a long way to go.
My teaching
post had become unbearable for me.
The
frivolous game of the orator's art rankled me.
I sought
truth, and I no longer desired to waste
The spirit
of my youth in colorful pretense.
From Milan
I fled into isolation.
My spirit
brooded in unrest.
Ambrose:
I waited
here for you how much I wanted
With God's
help to guide you to the harbor!
Augustine:
Oh, how
often I stood here on this threshold!
You did not
see. There came crowds of people
Who sought
help from the good shepherd.
I looked on
for a little while and then silently went away.
At times I
also came upon you alone, like today,
Immersed in
the study of your beloved books.
Then I did
not risk shortening your meager rest.
I knelt
here a little near you
And
discreetly slipped away. Today, too,
It would
have happened thus if you had not discovered me.
Ambrose:
Thank my
angel who led my eye to you.
But tell me
now what brought you here.
Augustine:
I already
wrote you that God's ray lit on me.
Before my
eyes stood all the misery of my life.
It choked
me, clamped my chest,
I could no
longer breathe at home
And fled
out into the open.
In the
garden I sought a quiet place,
Fled into
the presence of the faithful friend himself.
Finally, a
stream of tears burst forth.
Then from a
neighbor's house there urged itself on me
A child's
voice singing clearly.
I heard the
words, "Take and read."
Again and
again it rang in my ears
As children
endlessly repeat.
But to me
it comes from another world:
It is the
call of the Lord! I leap up
And rush to
Alypius who is still sitting and thinking.
The book
lies beside him where I was reading it.
I open it.
There stands for me the instruction;
I found it
clear in the Apostle's word:
"Give up
feasting and carousing at last,
Arise from
the bed of soft sensory lust.
Renounce
all the contention of frivolous ambition.
Look
instead at Jesus Christ, the Lord."
Then the
night receded, and day began
I took to
the road in the presence of the Lord,
My friend
Alypius hand in hand with me.
Ambrose:
Thank God,
who had mercy on you!
How
wonderful are your ways, Lord!
Augustine:
I wrote to
you and asked for your advice.
You
recommended to me a good teacher.
In the
prophecy of Isaiah I found
The servant
of God, the lamb, that suffered for us.
And things
grew brighter and brighter in my eyes.
We did not
rush, yet let us now speak to you
In longing
and in humility:
Lead us to
the baptismal font and wash us clean.
Ambrose:
Oh, bless
you, my beloved son!
There is no
one whom I have led with greater joy
To the holy
bath that gives new life.
Come soon
and bring me your faithful friend.
Augustine:
There is
yet a third person whom we are leading to you:
Adeodatus,
my beloved child.
No doubt a
child of sin through my fault;
But now the
child of grace through God's goodness.
He is a
youth, almost still a boy in years,
But with
more wisdom than his father.
He brings
the Lord an undefiled heart,
And it is
pure hearts who see God.
Ambrose:
So soon a
thrice-blessed day will beam for us.
O
Augustine, don't look back into the dark anymore.
Before me
now radiant lies your path.
The light
that God ignited in your heart,
Will shine
brightly into the farthest times,
The whole
church will be filled with it.
And
countless hearts will be inflamed
By the love
consuming your great heart.
Oh look
with me up to the throne
Of the
thrice Holy One!
Don't you
hear the choir of holy spirits?
They sing
their holy songs of praise
Full of
thanks in inexpressibly great joy,
Because the
lost son has found his way to the Father.
(Both stand
listening; then Ambrose intones:)
Ambrose:
Te Deum...
Augustine (sings the second half-verse, then
alternately together with the invisible choirs.)
When I found this on the Web I was not
yet Catholic, nor Edith Stein yet canonized. So moved was I by
it that it in turn became like that book Augustine let drop at
his conversion to Catholicism. We sang less Ambrose's Te
Deum than we did Newman's Lead Kindly Light in
Italian in our tiny Chapel ablaze with light at Candlemas at my
Crismation, 2 February 1998.
This next Dialogue
also so deeply moved me that, though I tried to excise it, I
found I could not. Especially not today, Edith Stein's Feast
Day. Compare it with Francesca Alexander, The Madonna and the Gypsy and
with St John of the Cross
.
For 9 August,
Feast of St Teresa Benedicta of the Cross
other (at night in her cell,
having fallen asleep while writing; awakens with a start):
he
pen fell from my tired hand.
So much I
still intended to do today.
Yet
midnight is near and nature
Demands her
due and won't be pressured.
I'll try to
finish just this one letter.
(Writes a
little; her head again sinks onto the table two clangs of the
bell she jumps up):
The turn
now in the middle of the night?
(Someone
knocks.)
Now there's
a rapping at the door it's opening. My Jesus, help!
A
womanly form (enters, dressed like a pilgrim; speaks):
Peace be
with you!
Oh, don't
be afraid! What's approaching you at night
Is a
supplicant who has no other weapons
Than raised
hands.
Mother:
Oh, so
speak!
I'll gladly
do whatever you ask
If it's
within my power. The fear has vanished.
Your word
is mild and your expression peaceful.
It seems to
me to be coming from eternity,
And it
arouses a longing for heaven in my heart.
So come and
rest. You've surely traveled a long way.
(Points her
to a seat.)
Stranger:
Thank you
for your goodness. Yes, I have traveled far
From land
to land and from door to door.
I am
seeking lodgings.
Mother:
Looking for
lodgings? How the word touches me!
I am
reminded of that pure one, the Immaculate,
Who once
about this time also sought lodgings
.
(Kneels
down):
Oh tell me!
Are you she herself, the Virgin Mother?
Stranger (raises her up):
I am not
she but I know her very well,
And it is
my joy to serve her.
I am of her
people, her blood,
And once I
risked my life for this people.
You recall
her when you hear my name.
My life
serves as a image of hers for you.
Mother:
A riddle,
unusually hard to understand
How am I to
grasp it?
You are a
woman whom we recognize as an "example"?
You staked
your life for your people?
And you
certainly had no weapon, either, then,
Except
those hands raised in supplication?
So are you
Esther, then, the queen?
Esther:
That is
what people called me. You know my fate.
Mother:
As much as
is in the holy books.
It always
touched me: As a tender child
You lost
your father and your mother.
Esther:
The good
uncle was father to me and mother.
But no he
led me to the real Father,
The Father
of all of us high in heaven.
My uncle's
heart burned hot with passion,
In holy
ardor for God and for his people.
He raised
me for them. So I grew up
Far from
home and yet protected
As in the
temple's quiet sanctuary.
I read the
holy Scriptures of these people,
Who were
now enslaved in a strange land,
And
fervently implored that a savior come to them.
Mother:
Like our
dear Lady, and also like her,
Suddenly an
unforeseen fate befell you.
Esther:
The king's
messengers traveled throughout the land
To look for
the most beautiful bride for the king.
I was
called to the palace before I knew it.
The eye of
the Lord fell on the poor maidservant.
Mother:
When I read
of it in the Book of Books,
My heart
became so heavy that it seemed to me
I saw your
soul full of deep pain
And unshed
tears.
Esther:
It was hard
indeed.
Yet it was
God's will, and I remained
The poor
maidservant of the Lord at the king's palace.
My faithful
uncle followed after me.
He often
came to the palace's door and brought news
Of our
people's needs and danger.
So there
came the day when I approached the king
To plead
for rescue from the deadly enemy.
Life or
death hung on his gaze.
I leaned on
the shoulders of my maid.
But I was
not alarmed before my husband's wrath.
The eye
that met mine was entirely friendly.
In full
favor, he handed me the scepter.
Then my
spirit was borne out of time and place.
High in the
clouds there was another throne,
On which
there sits the Lord of Lords, before whom pales
The earthly
lord's vain glory.
He himself,
the Eternal, bowed down
And
promised me the salvation of my people.
I sank down
before the throne of the Highest as though dead.
I found
myself again in the arms of my husband.
He
addressed me lovingly and said that any wish
Whatever it
might be he would grant to me.
This is how
the highest Lord freed his people
Through
Esther, his maidservant, from the hands of Haman.
Mother:
And today
another Haman
Has sworn
to annihilate them in bitter hate.
Is this in
fact why Esther has returned?
Esther:
You're the
one who says so
Yes, I am
traveling through the world
To plead
for lodgings for the homeless,
The people
so scattered and trampled
That still
cannot die.
Mother:
How
unusual!
Don't you
die as other people die?
Were you
carried off like Elijah
Who, as
people say, also wanders as a pilgrim?
Esther:
I died a
human death, was buried
With royal
pomp; but an angel accompanied
My soul,
its guardian,
To the
place of peace; it found its rest
in
Abraham's bosom with its ancestors.
Mother:
In the
bosom of Abraham like Lazarus?
Esther:
Like all
who faithfully have served the Lord
As their
ancestors did. We waited there in peace,
Still far
from the light, so always in longing.
But there
came a day when, through all of creation,
There
occurred a fissure. All the elements seemed
To be in
revolt, night enveloped
The world
at noon. But in the midst of the night
There
stood, as if illumined by lightning, a barren mountain,
And on the
mountain a cross on which someone hung
Bleeding
from a thousand wounds; a thirst came over us
To drink
ourselves well from this fountain of wounds.
The cross
vanished into night, yet our night
Was
suddenly penetrated by a new light,
Of which we
had never had any idea: a sweet, blessed light.
It streamed
from the wounds of that man
Who had
just died on the cross; now he stood
In our
midst. He himself was the light,
The eternal
light, that we had longed for from of old,
The
Father's reflection and the salvation of the people.
He spread
his arms wide and spoke
With a
voice full of heavenly timbre:
Come to me
all you who have faithfully served
The Father
and lived in hope
Of the
redeemer; see, he is with you,
He fetches
you home to his Father's kingdom.
What
happened then, there are no words to describe.
All of us
who had awaited blessedness,
We were now
at our goal in the heart of Jesus.
Mother:
That's
enough, or my heart will break
In longing
for such great blessedness.
But no
speak further, speak of the homeland!
Esther:
Now in the
mirror of eternal clarity, I saw
What
happened after that on earth.
I saw the
church grow out of my people,
A tenderly
blooming sprig, saw that her heart was
The
unblemished, pure, shoot of David.
I saw
flowing down from Jesus' heart
The
fullness of grace into the Virgin's heart.
From there
it flows to the members as the stream of life.
And again
there came a day when she the Blessed One
Was borne
on high by a choir of angels
Up to the
throne of the Almighty.
Her head
was adorned with a crown of stars
And like
the sun she was bathed in heavenly light.
But now I
knew that I was bound to her
From
eternity in accordance with God's direction forever.
My life was
only a beam of hers.
Mother:
And you
left this blessed light
To tread
the paths of earth again?
Esther:
That is her
will, and mine as well.
The church
had blossomed, but the masses
Of the
people remained distant, far from the Lord
And his
mother, enemies of the cross.
The people
are in confusion and cannot find rest,
An object
of disdain and scorn:
It will be
thus until the final battle.
But before
the cross appears again in heaven,
Even before
Elijah comes to gather his own,
The good
Shepherd goes silently through the lands.
Now and
then he gathers from the depths of the abyss
A little
lamb, shelters it at his heart.
And then
others always follow him.
But there
above at the throne of grace
The Mother
ceaselessly pleads for her people.
She seeks
souls to help her pray.
Then only
when Israel has found the Lord,
Only then
when he has received his own,
Will he
come in manifest glory.
And we must
pray for this second coming.
Mother:
Like once
the first I understand exactly.
You were
the pathfinder for the first coming.
Now you are
clearing the way to the kingdom of glory.
You came to
me do I now understand the message?
The Queen
of Carmel sent you.
Where else
was she to find hearts prepared
If not in
her quiet sanctuary?
Her people,
which are yours: your Israel,
I'll take
it up into the lodgings of my heart.
Praying
secretly and sacrificing secretly,
I'll take
it home to my Savior's heart.
Esther:
You have
understood, and so I can depart.
I am sure
the guest will not be forgotten
Who came to
you at the hour of midnight.
We'll meet
again on the great day,
The day of
manifest glory,
When above
the head of the Queen of Carmel
The crown
of stars will gleam brilliantly,
Because the
twelve tribes will have found their Lord.
Farewell!
Edith Stein become
the Carmelite, Sister Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, and died
at Auschwitz. In 1999, to inaugurate the Jubilee of 2000,
Saints Birgitta of Sweden , Catherine of Siena
and Edith Stein were proclaimed Patronesses
of Europe.
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