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    Mad Magazine (Comics)

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    Mad Magazine (Comics)

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    lokeshlok
    6K views36 pages

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    Mad Magazine (comics)

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    Mad Magazine (Comics)

    Uploaded by

    lokeshlok

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    You are on page 1of 36
    BATT OOP ac) ee fa) eo 1 THAT THINGS " Zzam< DPrcacct > z— ma Greetings, you MAD readers! You're now holding in your MAD hands the very first MAD issue of MAD! For us, the editors, chis is a great occasion . .. for in the next few moments, you will be one of the many who are deciding the fate of MAD all over the country. Many months ago, we had a meeting in the New York offices of Enter- taining Comics. We decided we wanted to add another mag to our line . . . 30 we met behind locked doors to figure out what our new book would be. Well, we looked through our mail for a lead . . . we thumbed through our idea files «+ -we paced the floor, beat our heads against the wall, and bie off all our finger- nails! Should we do another war mag? No! Plenty of them on the stands already! Another science-fiction book? Nah! Market is filled to capacity! A horror book? Nyeh! Far too many of them around! Romance? Adventure? Western? Nope ... nope . .. nope! We were tired of the war, ragged from the science-fiction, weary of the horror. Then it hic us! Why not do a complete about-face? A change of pace! A comic book! Not a serious comic book . . but a COMIC comic book! Not a floppity rabbit, giggily girl, anarchist teen- age type comic book . . . but a comic mag based on the shore story type of wild adventure that you seem to like so well. THAT WAS IT! Immediately we leaped to our typewriters, our drawing boards, and our india ink... we worked like a crew of inspired demons! In no time at all, MAD was born. You are now holding our dream child in your hands. We had a swell time creating MAD . .% and we hope that MAD will have a long successful life. But you, the reader, will decide that! All right! We've said our piece. Now read! Enjoy yourself! When you're through with MAD, we'd like to know what you think of it. Any suggestions or criticisms you have to make will be greatly appreciated. Subscriptions to MAD, as to any other E.C. mag, will set you back 75c for six issues . . . full year's output! The address for letters or subscriptions is: ‘The Editors MAD Room 706, Dept. 1 225 Lafayette Street N.Y.C.12,N. Y. MAD MUMBLINGS : Ce, Me >! The following isa complete list of titles published by in the order of their publication, . THE HAUNT OF FEAR ° WEIRD SCIENCE ° CRIME SUSPENSTORIES ° FRONTLINE COMBAT ° TALES FROM THE CRYPT ° WEIRD FANTASY ° THE VAULT OF HORROR . SHOCK ‘SUSPENSTORIES ° TWO-FISTED TALES Dities at New York, Nc ¥. One fear subscription in the U.S. 'obe plus for’ packing’ and, malling™~total. Zoe. Elsewhere a adit coobssts copvcentee 1082 by Biueational Coincn,tye."Unboliited meacacrts wu wot 8e retarted leat sees Fao Titi core GOP Eiopes ‘No lalianiy between any of the characters hates CF persons appestiog tiie mapasine Balk aay” of tebe ving’ or dead fe intended, andany sock similarity ie purely colacidental, Printed WU. Sk. TERROR DEPT, 7 LEASE! WE WARN YOU! DO NOT READ THiS STORY’ THROW THIS COMIC BOOK AWAY] BEFORE iT 15 TOO LATE!... VERY WELL, RASH FOOL! READ ON! BUT REMEMBER! WE WARNED yOu / THERE ARE MANY THINGS WOT MEANT FOR THE EYES OF MAN | COOMKEEEMEEEHEEE MIGHT!,.BLACK, WET; POURING NIGHT, WIGHT. ROARING VELVETY NIGHT, PUNC- MIGHT!... WHEN MEN SLEEP AND EVIL WITH THE MUEFLED MONOTONOUS SIZZLE TUATED BY BLUE-WHITE FLICKERING | WAKES/...A BLACK SEDAN CAREENS THROU (OF FAT RAINDROPS HITTING THE GROUND! LIGHTNING AND BOWLING-BALL THUNDER! THE NIGHT SWERVING [GALUsHA! STOP SWERVING MADLY YET ROAD AND DRE Ase, Y APH! HONEST! | Oy Pee Ge “ t AlL RIGHT! WHOEVER 1S IN_THAT ROOM! COME ON our. WE HEAR You! THE ROOM IS EMPTY! JUST A Roc IR dee GOT ME, BUT IM ALL RIGHT NOW! THEY'VE STOPPEDI1 KNOW THEY'RE T DOOR BUT THEY'VE STOPPED! GET UP O} GALUSHA, AND PROTECT ME! ‘SUDDENLY 1 FEEL A DEARLY caum SETTLING OVER ME! ‘SUODENLY I KNOW THA tow my NERVES ARE STEEL! CARETAKER! ‘HAUNTED nous wita “ARER? fon, caLusia! irs stoPrED | YEP! HE'S WAVING TO US RAINING! IT WAS NICE OF ) FROM THE DOORWAY! HE LITTLE OLD MAN / WAVE BACK! WAT AN. TO GIVE US THE EVENING THIS: GASOLINE! WAS BEEN HEH, HEH/ THERE THEY Wh [cooo. eve, youncsters!] [._Rememeer.. HERE AREN'T ANY GO! SWERVING MADLY I60OD- BYE! AND AREN'T ANY 6A Glosts aT Au! REMEMBER. HEH / HEH! SCIENCE-FICTION DEPT. / GO FORWARD! GO FORWARD INTO SPACE, FORWARD INTO TIME! GO FORWARD... 1952 1962! 1982/ GO! GO TO 1,000,000 A.D.! THAT'S FAR ENOUGH! BACK UP A LITTLE./ LOOK! THE EARTH.'A MASS OF STEELY CITIES ANO MEN/ MENF NO! NOT REALLY MEN! MORE LIKE... SPEED! MORE SPEED! I'VE GOT TO SEE MELVIN MELVIN, MY FRIEND! HE is MELVIN, MY BUDDY! ONE OF | [MELVIN, MY PAL JHE WILL UNDER: ‘ONE OF THE FEW ACTIVE Minos || THE RARE BRAINS THAT sti | |StAND WHAT I AM THINKING! AROUND TODAY! 'T'VE GOT TO | | THINKS! Z'VE GOT TO TELL | \He WiLL SYMPATHIZE WITH ME! TELL HIM MY HORRIBLE HUA OF THE CALAMITY THAT) | Aaa... THERE'S MELVIN'S MIGHT OVERTAKE US! |__| ‘SkySCRAPER WOW! i did [melvin] melvin] an Gian youre fe ie Nie A Lote ‘SHUTTLE, A HORRIBLE THOUGHT STRUCK ME! USTEN TO ME, MELVIN! THIS 15 IMPORTANT, GET RID OF THAT DISPOSABLE PREFABRICATED ROBOT WOMAN/T'LL BUY YOU ANOTHER ONE GALLOPING GALAXIES! LATER! LISTEN TOME! CAN'T IT WAIT, ALFRED?) FOLLOW ME, MELVIN! To THE THOUGHT- VIEWER! I HAVE A. VERY ALARMING IEA I, WANT TO TELL You ABouT! A TOY! ALL PLEASURE! WO (GOOD HARD THINKING! b ‘SURFER TMG SOLAR, ‘SYSTEMS.’ Waar is ITE LET ME JUST PLUG IN MY THOUGHT TRANSMITTER, CABLE... THERE! WELL GIVE THE SCREEN A MOMENT TO WARM LUP/...TM SCARED, MELVIN! I WHAT IN THE NAME OF ELECTRONS, IS ‘BOTHERING YOU, IT'S THE END OF HUMANITY! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! THAT'S WHAT IT (Sox. AH! THE THOUGHT VIEWER! T'S THIS MACHINERY! ALL THIS MACHINERY! EVERYWHERE... EVERYTHING 15, MACHINERY! I'S WRONG! AND ZILL TELL YOU. WHY! MILLIONS OF YEARS AGOpLIFE WAS COMPARATIVELY SIMPLE! TAKE THE CAVE-MAN, FOR INSTANCE! FROM WHAT I READ IN OUR HISTORY BOOKS, THE FiesT PRIMITIVE CAVE MAN_WAS MUCH LIKE A WALKING APE! HIS SOCIAL LIFE WAS EQUALLY SIMPLE! AS T UNDERSTAND IT, IF HE SAW A FEMALE HE MIGHT DESIRE FOR A MATE, THERE WAS NO TAKING HER OUT TO A Movie OR SOME- HE WOULD THEN RAG THE FEMALE OFF TO His CAVE, AND THERE SHE WOULD REMAIN AS HIS WIFE! SIMPLE! EFFECTIVE! AMERICAN !... BUT EVEN THEN, THE SICKNESS WAS SETTING’ IN! HIS LIFE WAS VERY UNCOMPLI- CATED! WE NEVER RODE ANY- WHERE, AS’ WE DO TODAY! HE HAD TO WALK... POOR, CREATURE... ON HIS FEET? [E.CAN'T UNDERSTAND Wry, BUT SHE WRETCHED THING NEVER HAD VITAMIN PILLS, OR... OR DEHYDRATED MEALS! JUST RAW FRUITS, BERRIES, AND SOMETIMES, MEAT! HE SIMPLY WOUL BASH THE FEMALE ON THE: HEAD WITH HIS FIST, OR SOME CONVENIENT BLUNT INSTRUMENT, AND TWAT WOULD BE. THAT! THERE WOULON'T BE ANYTHING LSE 70 IT! THAT BLUNT INSTRUMENT... THAT TOOL... THAT. WAS MAN'S MISTAKE! FOR THAT _TOOL, WAS THE FIRST INA HISTORY OF TOOLS THAT, MAN WOULD FASHION TO DO HIS WORK FOR HIM / ‘30 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE, ALFRED = = FORWARD TO THE ANCIENT YEAR GF 1952! HISTORY BOOKS TELL | [BEGINNING TO SURROUND HUMAN- BY THEN, MACHINES WERE JUST Us OF THE TwPICAL civicizeD | |iy! PUSH BUTTON ELECTRIC PATIENCE, MELVIN? NOW HOUSE- WIFEY tet us JUMP FORWARD... "AND IN THE KITCHEN, MACHINES MUSHROOMED LiKE FUNGUS GROWTHS AUTOMATIC MIXING MACHINES! SUICING MACHINES! WASHING MACHINES! TOASTING, BAKING, FRYING MACHINES! DRYING MACHINES ‘DON'T You SEE WHAT WAS HAPPENING, MELVINE HEY WOULD GO TO FRIENDS’ HOUSES, AND INSTEAD, OF TALKING TO THE FRIENDS, THEY WOULD LOOK AT TELEVISION MACHINES FOR A FEW HOURS, JAND THEN THEY WOULD RIDE HOME! NOW DOES THAT MAKE SENSE, MELVIN © GHTS! ELECTRIC TIME CLOCKS! VACUUM CLEANERS! AIR- CONDITIONING! [our IN THE STREET, MEN WERE BEGINNING TO |R/DE_AND WOT WALK! AUTOMOBILES, THEY FALLED "EM! THEY HAD SO MANY AUTOMOBILES, HEY HAD NO PLACE TO PARK THEM! FRIENDS WOULD DRIVE OVER TO OTHER FRIENDS’ HOUSES () ry Cue WHEN THEY GOT HOME, THEY WOULD REGULATE He TEMPERATURE OF THE HOUSE WITH A THERMOSTAT. THEN MAYBE GO 10 BED COVERED IBY AN ELECTRIC BLANKET, AND FALL A‘ LISTENING TO A RADIO CLOCK THAT 5 OFF AND ON? SEE 7, MELVINZ THAT's THE WAY IT WAS IN THE CRUDE DAYS OF 1252! BY OFFICE Was A mass OF BY 20,000 AD. 17 WAS NO LONGER NECESSARY FOR A MAN 7O LEAVE His SEAT ONCE HE SAT DOWN TO BUTTONS AND SWITCHES / AND BY 100,000 A.D, WOMEN WERE PERMANENTLY] FIXED IN A COMBINATION MACHINE THAT WAS KITCHEN, LIVING ROOM, BED ROOM. BATH, ENTERTAINMENT, ETC, 1c, ETC! FINALLY, WE COME TO TOoAY? WE HAVE MACHINES TO FEED Us, MACHINES TO CLOTHE US, MACHINES TO AMUSE US, MACHINES TO COMFORT US! MACHINES TO CARRY US? MACHINES TO MARRY US! We HAVE MACHINES J] TO TAKE CARE OF ANY POSSIBLE PROBLEM! ))| a 1,200,000 A.D.! EVERYTHING... EVERYTHING 15 TAKEN CARE OF BY MACHINES! WE REST ON A CUSHIONED, MOTOR- POWERED COUCH, WHILE MACHINES TAKE CARE OF OUR BVERY NEED! We NEVER HAVE TO MOVE 70 SATISEY ANY DESIRE! [AND £00K AT US! THROUGH YEARS OF DIS~ JUse, OUR MUSCLES HAVE SHRUNK, OUR SODES HAVE WITHERED! Werke JUST 4 BUNOLE OF NERVES’ WE ARE BLOBS, T TELL YOU! BLOBS OF FLESH! a PLANETOIOS! TAKE IT EASY, ALFRED! YOUR RIGHT PINKY |S QUIVERING! YOU REALLY ARE ExciteD! "AND THE HEART OF OUR WHOLE CIILIZATION IS THAT MASTER (MONSTER MACHINE THAT HOLDS THE COMPLEX MECHANISM THAT CONTROLS OUR WHOLE EXISTENCE! THE MACHINE WITHOUT. WHICH We WOULD BE LOST! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? WE WAVE EVEN DEVELOPED A MACHINE TO TAKE CARE OF OVER THERE! THAT ONE WANTS ONE OF THOSE DISPOSABLE PREFABRICATED ROBOT WOMEN... ANCIENT. 1952 HOLLYWOOD STYLE! HE PUTS A COIN INTO THE (MACHINE AND GETS A ROBOT WOMAN! HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW LESS AND LESS MEN ARE GETTING MARRIED, AND MORE [AND MORE OF THESE ROBOT WOMAN ARE BEING "AND WITHOUT THE MACHINE, WE ARE COMPLETELY. HELPLESS { SE= OVER THERE!| HE ONLY. HAS TO THINK. OF AN ICECREAM SODA! THE MACHINE GIVE IT TO HIM, 00K! LOOK OVER THERE! THAT FELLOW WANTS His BACK SCRATCHED! HE SENDS A THOUGHT JEOMMAND INTO THE MACHINE... IT SCRATCHES His BACK, (OUR CIVILIZATION 1S GOING TO POT! WE LIE AROUND FROM DAY TO DAY SEEKING PLEASURE! DOING NOTHING.’ GETTING MORE AND MORE HELPLESS WITH EACH PASSING MOMENT! $0... ALFRED! WHAT ARE Yois tayING TO PROVE PROVE? PROVE? MELVIN! WHAT... WHAT iF THE MACHINE THAT REPAIRS THE MACHINE... BREAKS: YES, DEAR READER! THE MACHINE DID BREAK! WE AT E.C. ARE PROUDEST OF OUR SCIENCE - FICTION ANOTHER 5 “NEW TREND.” ENTERTAINING COMIC! ON SALE NOW AT ALL NEWSSTANDS! floods! Bi of the missing cherub?” Mrs. Kayak began. the strange tale amid sobs and wails. ‘Our dear lictle Lemur was a healthy, alert and normal boy until the day I brought home that box of table salt from the grocer's.” What's so unusual about a box of salt?”, asked Cosmo. Nothing! It was a famous brand. You've seen it! It comes in a round red box with a yel- low top and a little tin spout for pouring.” "Yes, 20 on please! Well, on the box, in a diamond shaped frame, is a picture of a Shaker lady with a brown bonnet on her head. The lady is smil ing and in her hand she’s holding another box of salt and on it is.a picture of another Shaker lady holding another box of salt on which there is a picture of— T know ... a Shaker lady with a box of siilt!!! ‘They keep diminishing. Go on, please! Well, our dear little Lemur just sat for hours on end and stared from one Shaker lady fon to the next. He seemed fascinated! And then one day... (sob) ,..he». « (sob) disappeared! And just when 1 was about to change to .a brand of sale with just ove little with an umbrella on the package! That's lifet When ieraing. .. it pours Cosmo MeMoon stroked his beard thought- fully. Captain O'Malley dried some wilted Kleenex by. the heat of his desk lamp. The poor Kayaks just sobbed. Then the magnifi cent mind of McMoon came up with the solution! My dear friends! Your litle boy has gone off into another dimension—and Tam sure he's very happy there. Yes, he has gone into IN FINITY .... with the Shaker lady! The infinite is che unattainable limit of an unending proc es of construction. The extended objects of our ordinary perception do not occupy all the span of our field of vision. Objects last for a longer or shorter period, before which the were nor experienced and after which shey are no longer experienced, Lemur has yone into the hands of the las £ lady! Now M. happy unseen Shi and Mrs. Omar Kayak were very They hurried right home to talk to 144 BIG PAGES IN 232 BIG PAGES IN FULL COLOR FULL COLOR Conuaing the “complete Here under one cover, 1m Sony of the Life of Christ full color continuity,” re TOW Peer and Paoland edited and. acranged_ in the foandiog of the Early chronological ordet. are ll Christan Church. Included the stories of the Old Tes ave. maps showing Palestine ae the time of Jesus and Chyonologal” indexes of Poimed in four colo Mincipaltevents snd Scripe throughout and. boun Fite telerences to episodes with brighlly- varnished Mussrted Testy boerd. covers fement bercet trom the four issues of the magazine No. 2 — Amun B tbeut Food B Health ce (Write for special school prices) rocco cre srcc EDUCATIONAL COMICS, INC. 225 LAFAYETTE ST., NEW YORK 12, N. Y. COMPLETE OLD COMPLETE NEw. TESTAMENT | | | | | | 1 1 Lite nie ete Me 0. On nt se mtn ars aS : ‘fer WwW VADIS? Tiberius O'Leary— Roman Counterspy! Rome 106 B.C. Senator Gaius Tobey assigned his best secret. operative, Tiberius O'Leary, to crack down on gamblers who were fixing the spear-point spreads in the gladiator matches, The Romans had been shocked by the re- cent bribing of schoolboy athletes in the Colosseum! Tiberius, working incognito, put on @ zoot-toga and headed for a little poolroom just off the main drag, the Appian Way! Inside the empotium, Marcus Sumatra, a dixicland lyre-player, crooned a tender refrain, * he Cry of the Wild Helvetian’! Tiberius quickly joined in & garte of Roman Parchisi Amid cries of “You're faded, Brutus,” “VII come XI,” and "Baby needs a new pair of sandals,’ Tibe- tius raked in the chips! Suddenly, one of the heavy losers rapped Tiberius with a roll of denarii clenched in a closed fist. When Tiberius came to, the joint was raided by Chief Lucius Patton and the Forum Police, who put the bracchia on che and alli Tiberius was thrown into solus con- finement for 24 years and 8 mon despairing of ever fulfilling his secret mission. At this time, all men in Rome, between the ages of 18 and 25, re- ceived “Greetings from the Emperor! You are hereby ordered to report to local draft board MCXXV for a pre-induc- tion physical!” The Romans put Tiberius on their shoulders and marched with him to the Grand Central Forum. They sang rousing choruses of “When Graccus Comes Marching Home Again,” “The Chariot-Wheel of Fortune,” “Bell Bot- tom Tog This is the Pedites, Mr. Tiberius,” and “I'm a Roman Doodle Dandy”! Atthe draft board, Tiberius was im- mediately classified 1-A and sent to Fort Dixiebus for basic training, At the fort, he was given a glass of milk; some gefuelte fish, and then an RI. (Roman Issue) haircut. Now he was ready to relieve a Vestal Virgin for active duty! He entered the Chemical Corps at the out-break of the Second Punic War. He was assigned to a place called Oak Ridge to carry on his ex- plosive experiments. Then the Romans invaded the White Cliffs of Dover! They discov- ered.that the white cliffs were made of chalk, so they broughtihome a gal- ley-full! The Roman Board of Educa- tion was elated! Roman students could write on their slates at last! But the triumph of progress was short-lived! The kids were ruining their togas with chalk-dust. Tailors and cleaners were living off the fad of the land!! Tiberius retired to his lab, and after 32 years of research, came out with an implement to clean slates. It was called “Eradico Scribendi’’! But, as-he emerged from his sanc- tuary with his wonderful discovery, Rome fell!! And that's how ERASERS were born! WITH UI FUMBLING! fa ALL RIGHT, BUMBLE! NOW.LET'S GO THROUGH THIS THING ONCE MORE! HOW ARE WE GOING TO PULL THis JOBE FOIST, WE CALLED DE MAYOR AN’ TOLD HIM DAT HE GOTTA FORK OVER TEN GRAND OR WE'LL BUMP OFF HIS FAMILY’! DEN, WE TOLD HIM HOW HE SHOULD LEAVE DE MONEY IN A BRC PAPER PACKAGE ON TOID AN’ MAIN STREET! DEN JN GONNA WALK OVA WIT DIS FAKE STOMACH TIED ON ME DEN, I WALKS OVA TO Dis BROWN PAPER PACKAGE WHICH 1S LAYIN’ LIKE DAT SAMPLE PAPER PACKAGE IS LAYIN'Y/ DEN, WHILE MY FAKE WANDS HANG BY MY SIDES, I REACHES Jal OUT WIT’ MY REGULA’ HANDS! DEN DEY WATCH AN’ DEY Ws AN DEN DEY GET TIRED AN HOME DE FAKE Dey TINK IS DE BEN WHEN Dey OPEN I. INSTEAD OF DEIR. MONEY, Dey FINDA STINK BOMBL ‘DEN, 1" GONNA PUT ON DIS COAT WIT’ FAKE HANGS HANGIN’ BY MY SIDES! DEN, 1 GONNA DEN, 1 PULL DE REAL BROWN PACKAGE INTA my STOMACH AND IN PLACE OF IT, PUTA FAKE BROWN PACKAGE! DEN, IT LOOKS LIKE I NEVA JOCK NO PACKAGE! DEN, IF DE COPS ARE WATCHIN! DEY DON'T KNOW NUTTIN'S HAPPENED! REMEMBER, BUMBLE, YOU THIS JOB! NOW WE FWALK areal! ACT UNCON-cERNED! NOT Too Fast! Fi tA.--t09,,ta F WE'RE COMING CLOSE! FLATTEN AGAINST THE WALL THAT's IT Je WERE FLATTENED UP. UKE THIS... PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE US! THEY "THINK WE'RE JUST AN ORDINARY PLAT WALL! HAH! LOOK! THERE IT 18! THE PACKAGES 1A bEp tA LOO! TAKE ir Easy! , Pane yp Easy. marx onver 70.7 The PAA ACKAGE F UBE-U.10! Dow'T FUMBLE] D0-C-ON'T FuM-BLE! GET qe PACKAGE! 1A-LEE...Li COPS! THEY'VE SPOTTED Us! THE FLATFEET ARE FIRIN’ ON US! OUIEKLINTO THE GETAWAY, ear! STEP ON IT, BUMBLE,ANO DON'T 'T GONNA GET ME, UM BLE! COPPERS AIN'T GONNA COPPERS/ NOT ME! GET ME? 7 / SS anaana ae ! NOT ME! YAHAHAHAHA: THEY'VE SHOT THE ROOF | |THEY'VE SHOT THE SIDE )| | THEY'VE SHOT THE OTHER OFF! BUT THEY AIN'T OFF! BUT THEY AIN'T SIDE OFF! BUT THEY, GONNA GET ME/

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