University of San Carlos

School of Law and Governance

Cebu City

A REFLECTION JOURNAL
ON CONFLICT SENSITIVITY SEMINAR

BY:
PUNGOS, RUEL R.

December 5, 2015

INTRODUCTION

This journal, which I started just yesterday, December 3,

2015, then continued on and hopefully would be finished by
today, is in partial fulfillment of our requisite in Alternative
Dispute Resolution, a 3-unit course handled by our very own
dean, Atty. Joan Largo, whom I find quiet energetic and very
passionate in molding us to become the best lawyers the
University could produce. This reflection journal will be an
accounting of what transpired during our two-day seminar held
last November 14 and 15 of this year. This will include, to the best
of my knowledge and as far as recollection permits, all the
activities, lectures, lessons and learning, and, most of all, my
insights and personal reactions to all these on this two-day
journey. So onward we go!
*Personal Note: A reflection journal shouldve been made
during the event or activity one wished to reflect on and not a few
days or even weeks after such event has transpired. For if one
does so, the insights, thoughts, opinions and even the feelings or
reactions that one wishes to account will no longer be as fresh
and accurate as it was on that very day the event or activity took
place.
Now I know, now I learned.
PROLOGUE
First and foremost, I think it would be appropriate to start my
recollection on the day of our first class meeting in Alternative
Dispute Resolution. That was the time when we were first
introduced to CONFLICT SENSITIVITY SEMINAR. The very first
lesson I learned about conflict, in connection with my law studies,
did not actually came from Mr. Cesar H. Villanueva, the speaker of
the seminar whom I find quiet admirable with what he does and
what he achieved, but from our very own Dean herself, Dean Joan
Largo. She told us that its not always about winning cases. A
lawyer may win a case, but, more often than not, the conflict is
still there.
That truth hit me. Though I dont have a personal experience
to be used as a basis for that, it is but quiet logical to think of it
that way. This may sound too shallow to be used as a basis, but
thats what usually happens in the movies and in all those
television shows and all that. What usually happen is that a case
has been won, the bad guy goes to jail but, later on, the bad
guy sought revenge and that revenge doesnt usually end up in a
good way. Another basis would be the news. Its all around us.
News says the lawyer or a member of the winning party was killed
because of this or because of that. Bottom line, indeed, winning a
case does not always ends the conflict, worst is, it may even
escalate matters.

With all these thoughts running through my mind at that

time, I think I fully understood what Dean Largo was trying to say
that night. This seminar is important. Resolving conflict is
important not just in our field of endeavor but to life in general as
well. As future Carolinian lawyers, we need to learn how to resolve
conflicts. This seminar would be a step towards that end. Having
this two-day seminar was a privilege for us. That, I believe.
CONFLICT SENSITIVITY SEMINAR
INTRODUCTION
The Speaker
November 14, 2015 was the first day of the seminar and, like
any other first days, there was an introduction. The speaker of the
seminar was Mr. Cesar H. Villanueva. He was, as far I can recall, a
tall man of skinny to medium build with some white hair. He might
be on his late forties or early fifties, perhaps. He speaks in a soft
and gentle manner and composed himself well. Most importantly,
he has an aura of calmness and peace around him. From all these,
I inferred that this is a man of experience. This is not a person
who will tell you things based on what he heard or based on what
other people told him, but rather this is the kind person who will
tell you things because hed been through it. This is a person who
has firsthand experience on the subject matter. I think he is a
person who walks his talks and definitely a person worth listening
to.
During the introduction, Mr. Villanueva told us relevant
information about himself. He told us what province he came
from, from what school he graduated, his affiliations, what he
does then and what he does now. I cant tell the specific details of
his introductory for either I did not listen properly or memory had
failed me. Either way, truth be told, I didnt care much. The only
things I needed to learn about him on that introduction were
these three: who he was, what he does, and where his passion is.
I think these questions were fairly answered. I think he is
passionate with his endeavor not only in the realms of resolving
disputes and conflicts but also in sharing to other people,
especially to the new generation, like us, ways on how to resolve
disputes and conflicts using the methods which he will impart
upon us. With such passion visibly emanating from him, I believe
that he is a person ought to be respected on this matter. He got
my attention and his lectures, ideas and opinions will definitely
not going to fall on deaf ears. Onward we proceed.
The Audience
The main participants of the seminar were second year law

students of this University who were taking up Alternative Dispute

Resolution. Since among the purpose of Alternative Dispute
Resolution is to resolve disputes and conflicts through other
means aside from litigating, the CONFLICT SENSITIVITY SEMINAR
was just a right mix to the course outline. At first, there were only
a handful of us who were at the venue of the seminar. If I was not
mistaken, there were more or less fifty or sixty of us who
attended. According to Mr. Villanueva, it was not much of a crowd.
He was probably expecting more, however, he goes on by saying
that even though the number is quiet smaller than what he
expected, it is quiet optimal and probably favorable for learning.
This was the case early in the morning.
But there was a slight turn of event in which we did not
anticipate. For at around mid morning, more people were coming
in. Apparently, other second year and probably third year law
students were also advised to participate in the seminar and the
moot court was, then, almost filled. This time, Mr. Villanueva
commented that now, it is more than what he expected and so he
specifically asked for everyones cooperation so that the seminar
would go on as productively as it should be.
That was one of the amazing parts. I thought the seminar
would not be as productive as it should be since there were so
many participants and thus will make the event prone to noise
and chaos. However, to my surprise, everyone was eager to listen
and participate. Because of this, the number worked on our favor.
Since there are many participants, more examples, insights, and
opinions were given, and these added to the overall productivity
and diversity of the seminar.
THE SEMINAR PROPER
Conflict Defined
Its Not about the Person
Since this is a Conflict Sensitivity Seminar, it is but proper to
first discuss what conflict is and, as expected, Mr. Villanueva
started the topic with a definition of the word CONFLICT.
According to Mr. Villanueva, citing Johan Galtung, conflict is a
process through which two or more parties try to pursue
incompatible goals while trying to undermine the goal-seeking
potential of the others. In short, conflict has something to do with
incompatible goals and means, and not about incompatible
persons.
My Holding
To this, I absolutely agree. I was delighted to hear this from
Mr. Villanueva for I also am holding quiet an analogous principle
with this. It had been my notion that when you get mad, you

should take your time and think. You should ask yourself as to
why were you mad, or if you are disappointed or unhappy, take
your time knowing what precisely is it that is causing you to feel
the way that you feel. The reason for this is that, more often than
not, it is actually the event, or a certain situation or circumstance,
or even an action or inaction of a particular person that is causing
you the pain, the grief, or whatever ill feeling that you are feeling.
If you are mad, you are mad because things did not go as you
want them to be. You are not mad at the person, you are mad at
the circumstance.
Practical Implication
With this in mind, I believe that one should be careful as to
where he or she is directing his or her anger. As much as possible,
one should learn not to get back at the person or, shall I say,
retaliate, for ones problem might not be the person but rather on
the circumstance of the moment. For if one does hastily retaliates,
he or she might end up escalating the conflict and more likely
causing an irreparable rift in his her relationship with the person
he or she is in conflict with.

It Will Have a Birthday

It Will Come Back
One of the things mentioned by Mr. Villanueva that really
struck me good was when he said that if conflict is not resolved,
mostly likely, it will have a birthday. At first, I find what he said as
something quite funny, like a joke perhaps. Yeah, I thought he was
joking. Imagine, conflict having a birthday? What is it, a child? I
find it really quite funny. However, what he said was not a joke. It
was serious. If you dont take care of conflict, if you dont resolve
it, then it will definitely come back and it will haunt you. It is going
to have a birthday.
My Thoughts
After realizing the gravity of what he said, it made me
thinking. What he said, was indeed true. Conflicts that we do not
resolve, especially the ones that we were trying to avoid, will not
go away. If we dont act on them, or if we are not able to properly
address and resolve them. They will not go away. They may
subside but definitely, they will come back.
There is Always a Proper Time for Everything
Dont Force It
Although I mentioned earlier that conflicts should be

resolved or else it will come back, this doesnt mean that you
should force yourself or the other party to resolve the conflict
right away. You have to wait until both you and the other party are
ready to face your issues and settle your dispute. This is what I
learned from Mr. Villanueva. According to him, there are times
when either one or both of the parties are still too emotionally
unstable to face the issue. He further said that forcing them to
settle while at this state will only worsen the situation.
A Sad Story
To let us understand further, he gave us an example. The
example he gave us was actually based on a real life event.
According to his story, there was a boy who was killed in a car
accident. It was a hit-and-run. Later on, the perpetrator, who was
a teenager, felt guilty. The teenager, including his family, wanted
to apologize to the family of the victim and make amendments.
Mr. Villanueva was requested to go see the family of the victim
and talk it out. However, since the incident was still fresh and too
traumatizing for the family of the victim, they refused to settle
down the issue at that moment. Mr. Villanueva, understanding the
sentiments of the victim family, agreed to let it go for the moment
to give them time to heal from that traumatizing and hurtful
incident. Mr. Villanueva told us that it took more than a year
before the victim family agreed to talk it out with them. He went
further by saying that for that family, it took more than a year but
for others, it may take even longer. It is, according to him, a case
to case basis.
The story he shared to us was quite sad. One way or another
I felt disturbed after hearing it. But such is the reality of life.
Things like this happen, and it may even happen to each of us,
God forbid. Anyway, we should all learn from that story. Never
push it. Always respect. Have compassion. In every aspect of life,
including conflicts, we should always remember that there will
always be time for everything.
Myths about Conflicts
One of the topics during the seminar includes some famous
myths about conflicts. We discussed about them and along the
way Mr. Villanueva busted these myths for us.
First Myth: Conflict is bad and it could never lead to anything
positive.
This is not true at all. We may all find conflict as something
usually unpleasant and something that we want to avoid, conflict
is not at all bad. In fact, conflict is needed for a healthy
relationship. Face it or not, we are all different. We have different
wants and needs. More often than not, these individual wants and
need that we have will be in conflict with others. If we want to
leave together in harmony with each other, we must learn how to

deal with these differences and adjust. Conflict will teach us this.
Conflict is not bad. It will be a learning experience for those who
are involved.
Second Myth: Conflicts are the result of clashing personalities.
Not true also. According to Mr. Villanueva, personalities do
not conflict, behaviors do! Different people can work together in
years without having conflict or until there behavior conflicts. It is
only with our intolerance through our actions or behavior that
brings about conflict. If we learn how to harmonize with other
people, it is possible not to have conflict despite the differences in
our personalities.
Third Myth: Conflict and Anger go together.
This is certainly not true as well. Although in steamed
situation, we often see or associate conflict with anger, this is not
always the case. Conflict does not mean that there is anger. There
is, according to our discussion, a whole lot range of emotions that
may surface during a conflict, not just anger.
What is the implication of this? Ive learned that just because
one appears to be calm or showing a different set of emotions
aside from anger, doesnt mean that there is no conflict. Although
anger is often an indicator of conflict, such is not always the case.
My Realizations
After hearing all this, I now realize that I should be even
more vigilant in spotting or identifying the presence of a conflict.
Now I know that just because a person is smiling, that does not
really mean that the person is mad or hurt. And just because
someone is hurt or disappointed or showing other behaviors or
emotions aside from anger does not also mean that we have no
issue to be settled. I have to learn how to be more conflict
sensitive that is.
Development of Conflict
The Ladder Activity
We also discuss about how conflict escalates. This was
started through a fun and stressful group activity. The objective of
the activity is to put in certain order various placards containing
words that resemble the progression of a conflict. I said it was fun
because, indeed, it was a fun activity. It also makes you ask and
think which one goes first or which one goes ahead of the other. I
also said it was stressful because, I think, it is quite possible that
conflict may arise from that activity. Such an Irony! Turns out, we
all had learned from the seminar since we are all able to handle
each others difference when it comes to opinion.

What Ive Learned

Two lessons Ive learned from that activity. One is the
practical application of managing each others differences so as
not to escalate matters and be able to work together in harmony
as a group. And the other lesson I learned was with respect to the
development of conflict.
The Content of the Activity
According to our speaker there are three major stages in a
conflict. The first group starts with tension, then debate which will
eventually lead to a confrontation. This stage can still be resolved
through self-help solutions. This means that conflict can still be
settled internally or without the help of any third party. The
second group is when the conflict heats up a little more. Parties
will now form coalitions or alliance, and then there will now be
open attacks which may end in having one or both parties to loss
face. And then there will be threatening strategies wherein
tension rises and parties are at a standstill. This stage in conflict
development, according to Mr. Villanueva, may be ended through
win-loss solution. One party wins, the other losses. And lastly, the
final stage, wherein there will now be destructive blows and
sanctions and eventually ends up in the destruction of one or both
of the parties. This is stage is said to be the worst and admits only
a loss-loss situation.
The Implications
We went all effort to do the activity, discuss it and listened to
the lecture of Mr. Villanueva with respect to conflict development.
Eventually, what was revealed to us was that, it is important to
know these stages because, once we are able to spot them, we
will now know when to act on the conflict. The best time to act is
when the conflict is still in its early stage where in it admits a selfhelp solution. That is true. You cant tell people what to do but you
can almost always self-regulate. Thats why, while the situation
hasnt turned out for the worst, before the conflict escalates,
apply self-help solutions. I will always bear this in mind.

To Wrap Up Everything
All That Ive Learned
Aside from what I just mentioned, there are lots and lots of
learning that Ive acquired from this two-day event. Ive learned
how to use Conflict Mapping, the Onion Ring Method, and most of
all Ive learned that we must think outside the box to look for
creative solutions to conflicts. This is what we called Conflict
Transformation. We can achieve this by using what we called the

Transcend Approach. I also learned how to be conflict sensitive. I

realized that I had to be more aware of the implications and
consequences of the solutions that I will introduce in resolving
conflicts. I must be able to raise my antenna higher when it
comes to conflict. That is the essence of conflict sensitivity.
A Personal Endeavor
Lastly, I am glad that we did this seminar. Ive learned a lot.
Ive realized so many things, Truth be told, there are still lots and
lots of learning and realization from this seminar that I havent
accounted yet in this journal. Nevertheless, I believe, that those
learning and realization will forever be in me. I shall never forget
them. I will continue to enhance what Ive learned and to continue
growing. I will be more adept in identifying conflict and in
resolving them. This, I will hold as a personal goal. This will be an
endeavor that I will try my best to fulfill so I can help not just
myself, my family and love ones, but other people who are in
need as well. This I will do as a future Carolinian Lawyer.