Academic Writing
Academic Writing
Academic Writing
PREFACE
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
INTRODUCING WRITING
TYPES OF SENTENCES
THE PARAGRAPH...
UNITY.
COHERENCE ..
KINDS OF PARAGRAPHS ..
PROCESS ANALYSIS PARAGRAPHS
DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPHS..
OPINION PARAGRAPS..
CAUSE AND EFFECT PARAGRAPHS
PLANNING THE ESSAY
REFERENCES
i
4
10
36
42
46
52
57
63
68
73
80
88
PREFACE
This book is written as an attempt to develop English teaching materials for ITB
undergraduates. The emphasis of these materials is on improving students writing skills
required for writing thesis or other essay relevant to their own specialization.
This teaching material consists of eleven sections, and is a result of research on
students familiarity, difficulty, and interest to certain activity types, designed from the
conventional types of exercises to the most innovative ones.
Bandung,
July 2002
1. INTRODUCING WRITING
Why do you need to write ?
In the past people wrote letters .
to describe events
to give information
to convey feelings and ideas
Writing can also be done for the following purposes :
shopping lists
notes to family and friends
informal letters
completing forms
memos
other more formal writing such as
business letters
essay for academic courses
reports, etc.
How can you make writing something more pleasurable, satisfying, and even more effective ?
By developing your writing skills and confidence
What is effective writing ?
Writing, the aim of which is to communicate our ideas, thoughts, feelings or put our message across to the
audience.
What is effective writing?
When it is:
clear
It expresses our ideas carefully in a way that the reader can understand.
concise
It uses sufficient words to impart the message but not so many as to obscure the meaning.
exact
It uses vocabulary correctly and follows the conventions for spelling, punctuation, and grammar.
appropriate It uses the correct tone for the situation and the reader.
Consider the
Purpose of your
writing
Ensure your
Handwriting
Is legible
Use correct
spelling
Consider your
Audience
Writing Skills
Punctuate for
meaning
Use the
Appropriate tone
Consider
the content
Audience
Your aim in any piece of writing is that your reader, or audience, should understand and respond to your message. Your message must be
expressed in the most effective way for that audience.
Who is your audience?
Do you know them?
What will they expect from you? What might they be influenced by?
Most of us adopt a different style and language for different situations. When we talk to friends, we use the language and tone of voice
appropriate to our relationship. In a formal situation we use more formal language, exact vocabulary and perhaps a more polite manner: we
should consider our audience and respond accordingly. Our writing must also reflect this consideration.
Tone
Having considered purpose and audience, you will find the tone you need to adopt in your writing becomes clear. For example, a letter of
complaint will have a formal, precise tone - firm but polite; a letter to a friend will be expressed in less formal language - a warmer and more
relaxed tone will be evident.
The tone of a piece of writing is conveyed by the vocabulary, style, sentence structure, and format of the writing. In later chapters you will be
shown how you can create the correct tone by using the appropriate language and structures.
Planning
In any formal writing task it is essential to plan carefully before writing the first draft. The plan allows you to:
consider the content;
arrange your ideas in the most logical and acceptable order.
Careful planning will increase your chances of conveying your message effectively.
Content
Considerations about content will vary according to the writing task.
There are, however, some points regarding the content of a piece of writing that should always be considered.
Is the content relevant to the task?
Does your writing contain sufficient information or evidence for you to achieve your desired outcome?
Is it sufficient, interesting to engage your reader's attention?
Remember, if the content is not suitable or adequate, your writing won't achieve its purpose.
Punctuation
Correct punctuation allows your reader to make sense of your ideas. A piece of writing which has no punctuation or is
punctuated incorrectly is difficult or even impossible to understand and can convey the wrong message.
EXAMPLE:
Last week we went to. Merry Hill Shopping Centre while Ann. And I shopped our two children. Were able to play in
the. Children's playroom it made shopping a. Pleasure rather than a chore.
This passage is almost impossible to understand as the full stops have been put in the wrong places.
Expressing ideas in clear, correct sentences is an important writing skill. Correct sentence construction and
punctuation will help you to impart your message effectively. If you haven't had the opportunity to do much formal
writing for a few years, you may find that you need to brush up on your sentence construction and punctuation skills.
Spelling
Many people feel inhibited about writing or say they can't write because they have difficulties with spelling. If you also
feel that a lack of confidence about your spelling is stopping you from writing, it is important to put spelling into
perspective. The degree of accuracy required depends upon the formality of the situation. For example, a diary entry
written for your own pleasure or use may contain spelling errors, but a report written at work must be correctly spelt.
If accuracy is essential, careful proof-reading of a first draft can eliminate obvious spelling mistakes; knowledge of
possible and probable spelling patterns will help you to identify problematical words; sensible use of a dictionary will
increase your confidence in your spelling.
Proof-reading and editing
It is rare for anyone to produce a good piece of writing at the first attempt. Most of us need to produce a rough or first
draft before a final copy. Indeed, knowing that a first attempt can be edited and improved is very reassuring.
For formal writing tasks you will need to organize your thoughts and devise a plan before you embark upon the first
draft.
Beginnings often cause difficulty - don't sit looking at a blank sheet of paper waiting for a polished first sentence to
spring to mind: start writing and get your ideas down on paper. You should find that once you have started, your
writing becomes more fluent.
What to do next?
When you have completed the First draft, follow these steps.
Read it through
Ask yourself:
does it fit the purpose?
is it effective?
are all the necessary points included"
is the tone appropriate for the situation?
2. TYPES OF SENTENCES
Clauses
Clauses are the building blocks of sentences. A clause is a group of words that contains (at least) a subject and a verb.
These are clauses:
These are not clauses:
Ecology is a science
to protect the environment
Because pollution causes cancer
after working all day
There are two kinds of clauses: independent and dependent.
Independent
clauses
Dependent
clauses
Clause
Connectors
CLAUSE CONNECTORS
SUBORDINATORS (SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS)
after
which
although
while
as
who
as if
whom
as soon as
whose
because
before
that
when
even though
though
whenever
now
unless
where
if
until
wherever
since
what
whether
so that
You can remember the seven coordinators by the phrases FAN BOYS:
for
and
nor
but
or
yet
so
CONJUNCTIVE ADVERBS
Ac
accordingly
furthermore
on the other hand
hence
besides
otherwise
consequently
therefore
for example
thus
however
in addition
in contrast
meanwhile
indeed
moreover
instead
like wise
nevertheless
nonetheless
EXERCISE 1
Independent and Dependent Clauses
Write INDEP next to the independent clauses and put a period (.) after them. Write DEP next to the dependent clauses.
______ 1. Jet lag affects most long distance travellers
______ 2. Which is simply the urge to sleep at inappropriate times
______ 3. During long journeys through several time zones, the bodys inner clock is
disrupted
______ 4. Also; changes in work schedules can cause jet lag.
______ 5. When hospital nurses change from a day shift to a night shift, for example
______ 6. Although there is no sure way to prevent jet lag
______ 7. There are some ways to minimize it
______ 8. Because jet lag is caused at least partially by loss of sleep, not just a change in the time of sleep
______ 9. A traveller should plan to arrive at his or her destination as late as possible
______10. Upon arriving, he or she should immediately go to bed
______11. Then the traveller should start to live in the new time frame immediately
Kinds of Sentences
A sentence is a group of words that contains at least one subject and one verb. A sentence expresses a complete thought.
There are four kinds of sentences in English: simple sentences, compound sentences, complex sentences, and compound-complex
sentences. First, we will learn about simple sentences.
A simple sentence has one subject and one verb. The subject tells who or
what did something. The verb tells the action (or condition).
These are simple sentences:
Subject
I
I
My head
My head and neck
It
The students
Verb
study
study and work
hurts
hurt
is raining
are reading
(Notice that the subject in a simple sentence may be compound: My head and neck hurt. Also, the verb in a simple
sentence may be compound: I study and work.)
Note: Save your money is also a complete sentence. The subject you is understood and not included.
A sentence may also have a complement (but it does not have to have one). The complement completes the
meaning of the verb or adds more information to the sentence. There are many types of complements. A complement
in a simple sentence may be a noun, pronoun, adjective, or adverb.
Subject
Verb
Complement
I
study
English (noun)
I
dont understand
you (pronoun)
His girlfriend
is
smart (adjective)
It
isnt raining
now (adverb)
A complement may also be a noun phrase, a verb phrase, or a prepositional phrase.
My father
owns
his own business (noun phrase)
My girlfriend
wants
to get married (verb phrase)
The students
are reading
in the library (proportional phrase)
A complement may also be a combination
I
study
English at Greenhills College (noun + prepositional phrase)
She
wants
to get married soon (verb phrase + adverb)
Subject-Verb Agreement
You already know that subjects and verbs must agree in number.
Prepositional Phrases
A prepositional phrase is a group of words that begins with a preposition
and ends with a pronoun, noun, or noun phrase.
Prepositional phrase express time, place, possession, and some other things. A prepositional phrase usually tells where, when, how, why, or
whose.
from Mexico City in the morning
on January I
of my systems
to my best friend around the room
by bus
because of the weather
After her
at himself
A prepositional phrase may come after the subject of a sentence, but it is not part of the subject. Therefore, you should ignore 1 it
most of the time when you are trying to decide which verb form to use.
One (of my sisters) is also a singer
(The subject is one, which is singular)
Here are some other examples;
Singular subjects
One (of my brothers) is a musician
Neither (of my parents) is living
Much (of my time) is spent in the library
Each (of my brothers) wants his own car
Either (of my sisters) is able to baby-sit for you tonight
Plural Subjects
Both (of my parents) are teachers
Several (of the teachers) speak my language
Unfortunately, telling a singular subject from a plural subject isnt always easy. A few can be either singular or plural. In these cases, you must
refer to the noun in the prepositional phrase.
Some (of the money) was missing (singular
Some (of the students) were missing (plural)
All (of my time) is spent in the library (singular)
All (of my brothers) are singers (plural)
Most (of the ice) was melted (singular)
Most (of the ice cubes) were melted (plural
A lot (of the work) was too easy (singular)
A lot (of the people) were angry (plural)
None (of the fruit) is fresh (singular)
None (of the apples) are fresh (plural)0
EXERCISE 2
Identifying Subjects, Verbs and Complements
Underline the subjects, verbs, and complements in the following sentences and write S, V, or C above them. Also put
parentheses
() around prepositional phrases.
1.My name is Roberto Sanchez
2.I was born (on September 21, 1978) (in the city) (of San Juan, Puerto Rico)
3.I am a student at Greenhills College in Boston, Massachusetts
4.Some of my classes are difficult
5.Some of the homework is boring
6.None of my classmates speak Spanish
7.A lot of my classes are in Dante Hall
8.A lot of my time is spent in the student lounge
9.My father works in an office
10.None of us are married
11.My youngest brother and sister are still in high school
12.My father understands English but doesnt speak it
13.In my country most of the people are Catholic
14.Neither of my parents has been to the United States.
EXERCISE 3
Subject-Verb Agreement
Complete the essay with the correct verb forms. Put parentheses () around prepositional phrases.
A Courageous Man
Christopher Reeve _______is_______a famous Hollywood actor. He played the role
1. be
of Superman in several movies. Some of his other movies ____________ Deathtrap, The
2. include
Bostonians, and The Remains of the Day.
Reeve was also an experienced horseback rider. However, on May 27, 1995, while he was performing in a riding competition, his horse stopped
suddenly. He was thrown off and hit his head on the ground. Tragically, he suffered serious injuries and
____________ now paralysed Reeve _______________ unable to use his arms and
3. be
4. be
legs. He ___________ around in a motorized wheelchair. He cannot breathe without the
5. get
aid of a respirator. He also ________________ a neck support. At first, he could not
6. wear
eat solid food, but now he can.
Reeve ______________ a strong support system. His loving family and friends
7. have
_______________ there for him. During his hospital stay, his wife, Dana, visited him and
8. be
often brought along their young son, Will. One of his Hollywood friends ______________
9. be
comedian Robin Williams. Williamss funny jokes _____________ him ____________ and
10. make
11. laugh
____________ his spirits. A lot of Americans and people around the words have sent him
12. lift
cards, letters, and telegrams of encouragement and best wishes.
Reeve ___________ truly grateful to everyone. He ____________ thankful for the
13. be
14. be
excellent medical care he received from the medical staff at the hospital. His doctor ________________ him a courageous man and a
wonderful patient. He was released
15. call
from the hospital in December 1995. Then on March 25, 1996, Reeve made a surprise
appearance at the Academy Award ceremonies in Hollywood and made a speech.
Reeve ________________ a strong will to live as normal a life as possible. Pictures
16. have
of his smiling, handsome face ___________________ his positive attitude. All of Reeves
17. show
friends and supporters ________________ and ________________ for his recovery.
18. hope
19. pray
EXERCISE 4.
Simple Sentences
1.
2.
3.
Write two simple sentences with one subject and one verb.
Write two simple sentences with one subject and two verbs
Write two simple sentences with two subjects and two verbs.
Compound Sentences
A compound sentence is two or more independent clauses joined together. There are three ways to join the clauses:
1. With a coordinator
3. With a semicolon
The accident at the nuclear power plant at Three Mile Island in the United State created fears about the safety of this energy source. The
disaster at Chernobyl in the former Soviet Union confirmed them.
Solar heating systems are economical to operate. The cost of installation is very high.
Energy needs are not going to decrease. Energy sources are not going to increase. (Use nor and question word order in the second clause,
deleting the word not.)
Burning fossil fuels causes serious damage to our planet. We need to develop other sources of energy.
Ecologists know that burning fossil fuels causes holes in the ozone layer. People continue to do it.
Poorer nations especially will continue this harmful practice. They dont have the money to develop clean energy sources.
All nations of the world must take action. Our children and grandchildren will suffer the consequences.
On a separate sheet of paper, write seven compound sentences of your own, using each coordinator once.
Conjunctive
Adverbs
SENTENCE
And
Besides
Furthermore
Moreover
Also
But
Yet
However
Nevertheless
Nonetheless
Or
Otherwise
So
Accordingly
Consequently
Hence
Therefore
Thus
EXERCISE 5
EXERCISE 5
Compound Sentences with Conjunction Adverb
Add another independent clause to each independent clause that follows to form compound sentences. Be sure to add a complete clause
containing a subject and a verb. Circle the conjunctive adverb and add punctuation.
Example
The college campus is located in the center of the city; therefore, it is very easy to do my shopping.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
This kind of compound sentence is possible only when the two independent clauses are closely related in meaning. If they arent closely related, they
should be written as two simple sentences, each ending with a period.
EXERCISE 6
1.The American way of life apparently does not foster marital happiness half of all American marriages end in divorce.
2.Motherhood causes some women to quit their jobs others continue working despite having young children to care for.
3.Three hundred guests attended his wedding two attended his funeral.
B. Write three compound sentences of your own, using a semicolon to join the independent clauses.
EXERCISE 7
Combining Simple Sentences
Use what you have learned about forming compound sentences to improve the following mini-essay, which contains many short, simple sentences.
Combine sentences wherever possible. Try to use each of the three methods at least once. There is not just one correct way to combine the sentences;
there are many possible ways.
Robots
1A robot is a mechanical device that can perform boring, dangerous, and difficult tasks. 2First of all, robots can perform repetitive tasks without
becoming tired or bored. 3They are used in automobile factories to weld and paint. 4Robots can also function in hostile environments. 5They are useful
for exploring the ocean bottom as well as deep outer space. 6Finally, robots can perform tasks requiring pinpoint accuracy. 7In the operating room,
robotic equipment can assist the surgeon. 8For instance, a robot can kill a brain tumor. 9It can operate on a fetus with great precision.
10The field of artificial intelligence is giving robots a limited ability to think and to make decisions. 11However, robots cannot think conceptually.
12Robots cannot function independently. 13Humans have to program them. 14They are useless. (Use otherwise to combine sentences 13 and 14.)
15Therefore, humans should not worry that robots will take over the world at least not yet.
Sentence
clause(s). In a complex sentence, one idea is generally more important than the other one. The more important idea is placed in the independent
clause, and the less important
idea is placed in the dependent clause.
DEPENDENT CLAUSES
ADVERB CLAUSES
A dependent adverb clause begins with an adverbial subordinator such as when,
while, because, although, if, so that, etc.
1.Although women in the United State could own property, they could
not vote until 1920.
2.In the United State, women could not vote until 1920 although they
could own property.
Notice that there are two possible position for an adverb clause: before or after the
independent clause. If it comes before the independent clause, it is followed by a
comma (sentence 1). If it comes after the independent clause, no comma is used
(sentence 2).
ADJECTIVE CLAUSES
A dependent adjective (relative) clause begins with a relative pronoun such as who, whom, which, whose,
or that, or with a relative adverb such as where or when. An adjective clause function as an adjective; that
is, it modifies a noun or pronoun. The position and punctuation of dependent adjective clause is discussed
in Chapter 13.
3.
Men who are not married are called bachelors.
4.
Last year we vacationed on the Red Sea, which features excellent scuba diving.
NOUN CLAUSES
A dependent noun clause functions as a noun and begins with a wh-question word, that, whether, or
sometime if. A dependent noun clause can be either a subject (sentence 5) or an (sentence 6). No
commas are necessary.
5.
That there is a hole in the ozone layer of the earths atmosphere is well known.
6.
Scientists believe that excess chlorofluorocarbons in the atmosphere are responsible for
creating it.
EXERCISE 8
Complex Sentences
A.
STEP 1
Underline the independent clause of each sentence with a solid line.
STEP 2
Underline the dependent clause with a broken line.
STEP 3
Write SUB above the subordinator.
Example
SUB
Because the cost of education is rising, many students must work part-time.
1.
When students from other countries come to the United state, they often suffer from culture shock.
2.
Because the cost of education has risen, many students are having financial problem.
3.
Engineers, who have an aptitude for drafting and mechanics, must also be artistic and imaginative.
4.
While the contractor follows the blueprint, the engineer checks the construction in progress.
5.
Since the blueprint presents the details of the engineers plans, it must be interpreted accurately by the contractor.
6.
Students should declare a major by their junior year unless they have not made up their minds.
7.
Even though students declare a major now, they can change it later.
8.
Last year, the government reported that drug use is increasing.
9.
Doctors are concerned about drug use by young people, who think that smoking marijuana is risk-free.
B. STEP 1
Add a logical independent clause to each of the following dependent clauses.
STEP 2 Punctuate each sentence correctly.
1.
until I pay my tuition.
2.
_________________________________________________________________unless I take twelve units.
3.
_____________________________________
that computer engineering is a popular major.
4.
_______________________________________________________________ who is chair of the Communications Department.
5.
Because I had to look for a part-time job ______________________________
6.
______________________________________________________ if I want get to school on time.
7.
_________________________________________________________________________________________ whether I should take advance calculus.
8.
___________________________________ whom I met at the social club meeting last month.
9.
___________________________________________ when I left my country.
10.
________________________________ that my college adviser recommends.
CompoundComplex
Sentences
1.
2.
3.
4.
I wanted to travel after I graduated from college; however, I had to go to work immediately.
After I graduated from college, I wanted to travel, but I had to go to work immediately.
I wanted to travel after I graduated from college, but I had to go to work immediately because I had to support my family.
I couldnt decide where I should work or what I should do, so I did nothing.
Punctuate the compound part of a compound-complex sentence like a compound sentence; that is, use a semicolon/comma combination
(sentence 1), or put a comma before a coordinator joining two clauses (sentences 2, 3, and 4).
Punctuate the complex part like a complex sentence. With adverb clauses, put a comma after a dependent adverb clause (sentence 2) but
not before them (sentence 3). With noun clauses, use no commas (sentence 4).
EXERCISE 9
Compound-Complex Sentences
Punctuate these compound-complex sentences.
STEP 1 Underline the independent clauses with a solid line and the dependent clauses with a broken line.
STEP 2 Add commas and/or semicolons as necessary.
1. If housework and childcare are included women work more hours per week than men every place in the world except North America and Australia
but they also earn less than men everywhere.
2. In Africa, women work harder than men because they work 67 hours per week but men work only 53.
3. Although Latin American women work 60 hours Latin men work only 54 and in Asia women work 62 hours to mens 48.
4. Men is Western Europe Work the least they put in only 43 hours per week although women average 48.
5. The report stated that even when mens working hours were reduced they used the extra time for leisure activities rather than for housework of
childcare.
Compound Sentences (Coordination) versus Complex
Sentences (Subordination)
Good writing requires a mixture of all four kinds of sentences: simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex. A composition with only short,
simple sentences is boring and ineffective, as is writing that uses too many compound sentences. Writing with complex sentences and participial
phrases, structures that use subordination, is generally considered more mature, interesting, and effective in style.
Compare the two models that follow. The first model is an example of overcoordination, or writing with too many compound sentences. In the second
model, some of the coordination has been replaced by subordination-complex sentences in sentences 5,6,7,9,11, and 12 and participial phrases in
sentences 5 and 10. Notice, however, that coordination has been preserved where the ideas expressed are equal (sentences 1, 4, and 8).
MODEL
Overcoordination
MODEL
Subordination
EXERCISE 10
Subornation
Change the following compound sentences to complex sentences by subordinating one of the clauses. Use the subordinator given. Note: Be sure
to add the subordinator to the correct clause so that the resulting sentences is logical.
Example:
It was raining, so I took an umbrella to work (because)
Not logical :
It was raining because I took an umbrella to work.
Logical
:
I took an umbrella to work because it was raining.
1.
In the former Soviet Union, men and women had access to equal education and job opportunities, for that reflected the Soviet philosophy.
(since)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
2.
The 1937 Soviet constitution declared the women and men her equal rights, and responsibilities, and women joined the workforce. (after)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
3.
Also, millions of Russian men were away in the military during World War II, so Russian women filled their places at work. (because)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
4.
Soviet women worked full time at their jobs, but they also had the primary responsibility for taking care of the family. (although)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
5.
They finished their work, and they had shop, cook the evening meal, and perhaps wash, iron, or mend the familys clothes. (as soon as)
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
EXERCISE 11
Combining Sentences in different Ways
Use what you have learned about the four kinds of sentences to improve these paragraphs, which contains too many short, simple sentences. Use
different methods of combining the sentences.
Nonverbal Communication
Nonverbal communication, or body language, is used everywhere in the world. It is a very powerful means of communication. It
communicates much more than spoken words. 4 One example of nonverbal communication is what occurs between parents and child. 5Parents
smile at their child. 6They communicate love, acceptance, and reassurance. 7The child feels comfortable and safe. 8The smile signifies approval.
9The child is happy and well-adjusted.
10 Another example of such communication is the image a person projects in public. A woman is walking alone on an unfamiliar and
possibly dangerous street. She wants to appear confident. She should walk briskly. 14 She may be tired. 15 She should walk with her shoulders
straight and her head held high. 16 Her eyes should be focused straight ahead. 17 Someone is looking at her. 18 She should return the glance without
hesitation. 19In contrast, a nervous woman will appear afraid. 20 She walks slowly with her shoulders drooping and her eyes looking downward.
Indeed, body language can express more than spoken language. It is a very strong method of communication. People use their body signals
carelessly. 24 They can sometimes be misinterpreted.
Review
These are the important points in this chapter so far:
1.Clauses are the main building blocks of sentences. There are two kinds of clauses:
Independent and dependent.
An independent clause
expresses a complete thought.
can be sentence by itself.
A dependent clause
begins with a subordinator.
cannot be a sentence by itself.
Spanish
is one of three types: adverb,
adjective, or noun.
2. There are four kinds of sentences in English: simple, compound, complex, and compound-complex. Each kind is punctuated
differently.
A simple sentences has one
Independent clause
Parallelism
______________________________________________________________________________
Parallelism is an important element in English writing, especially when you are listing comparing and contrasting items or ideas. Parallelism means that
each item in a list or comparison follows the same grammatical pattern. If you are writing a list and the first item in your list is noun, write of the following
items as nouns also. If the first item is an infinitive verb phrase, make all of the others infinitive verb phrases; if it is a dependent clause, make all of the
others dependent clauses. If you are making a comparison or contrast, make sure that the items you are comparing or contrasting are the same.
Notice how the rule of parallelism is followed in the second sentences in each of the following sets.
Not parallel
My English conversation class is made up of the Chinese, Spaniards, and some are from Bosnia.
Parallel
My English conversation class is made up of the Chinese, Spaniards, and Bosnians.
Not parallel
The students who do well attend class, they do their homework, and practice speaking in English.
Parallel
The students who do well attend class, do their homework, and practice speaking in English.
Not parallel
The teacher wanted to know which country we came from and our future goals.
Parallel
The teacher wanted to know which country we came from and what our future goals were.
Not parallel
The language skills of the students in the evening classes are the same as the day classes.
Parallel
The language skills of the students in the evening classes are the same as the language skills of the students in the day classes.
You may also substitute a pronoun for the second language skill
The language skills of the students in the evening classes are the same as those of the students in the day classes.
All of the words in the first item do not always have to be repeated in the second. You may repeat all or some of the words, depending upon what you wish
to emphasize.
Before you write a paper or (before) (you) take a test, you must organize your thoughts.
Before and/or you may be deleted from the second item without breaking the rule of parallelism.
Before you write a paper or take a test, you must organize your thoughts.
Coordinators
And, Or, But
Words, phrases, and clauses that are joined by and , or, and but are written in parallel form. Notice the parallel structures joined by coordinators in the following
sentences.
The Federal Air Pollution Control Administration regulates automobile exhausts, and the Federal Aviation Administration makes similar
regulations for aircraft.
The states regulate the noise created by motor vehicles but not by commercial aircraft.
Pesticides cannot be sold if they have an adverse effect on humans, on animal life, or on environment.
Correlative
Conjunctions
Use parallel forms with the correlative conjunctions bothand, eitheror, neithernor, and not onlybut also.
Correlative conjunctions are placed directly before the elements they join in the sentence. Notice the parallel structure in these clauses joined by correlative
conjunctions:
A new law provides the means for both regulating pesticides and ordering the removal if they are dangerous.
Air pollutants may come either from the ocean as natural contaminants given off by sea life or from the internal combustion engines of automobiles.
If neither industry nor the public works toward reducing pollution problems, future generations will suffer.
Many people are neither concerned about pollutants nor worried about their future impact.
At the present time, air pollution is controlled through laws passed not only to reduce the pollutants at their sources but also to set up acceptable
standards of air quality.
EXERCISE 12
Parallelism
A.
Two or more items in each of the following sentences are written in parallel grammatical form. Underline the items or ideas that are parallel, and
circle the word or words that connect the parallel structures.
Example
An ideal environment for studying includes good lighting, a spacious desk, and comfortable chair.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
You know you are truly bilingual when you can calculate in your second language and when you begin to dream in it.
People often spend as much time worrying about the future as planning for it.
You can learn a second language in the classroom, at home, or in country where the language is spoken.
My new personal computer is both fast and reliable.
My old typewriter is neither fast nor reliable.
Ann is growing older but unfortunately not wiser.
Young people buy computers not only to do schoolwork but also to play games.
If industrial nations continue to burn fossil fuels and if developing nations continue to burn their rain forests, the level of CO2 in the atmosphere will
continue to increase.
Before the judge announced the sentence, he asked the murderer if he wanted to speak either to the victims family or to the jury.
The criminal neither admitted guilt nor asked for forgiveness before he was executed.
B.
Rewrite the following sentences in parallel form. Underline the part of the sentence that is not parallel and correct it.
Example
The disadvantages of using a credit card are overspending and you pay high interest rates.
The disadvantages of using a credit card are overspending and paying high interest rates
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Credit cards are accepted by department stores, airlines, and they can be used in some gas stations.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
You do not need to risk carrying cash or to risk to pass up a sale.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
With credit cards, you can either pay your bill with one check, or you can stretch out your payments.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
You can charge both at restaurants and when you stay at hotels.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Many people carry not only credit cards but they also carry cash.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Many people want neither to pay off their balance monthly nor do they like paying interest.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Not making any payment or to send in only minimum payments every month is poor money management.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
C.
Write seven original sentences in parallel form, using coordinating conjunctions and, or, and but and the correlative conjunctions bothand,
eitheror, neithernor, and not onlybut also one time each.
Sentence Problems
______________________________________________________________
In this section, you will learn to recognize and correct some common errors in sentence structure: sentence fragments as well as choppy, run-on,
and stringy sentences.
Sentence Fragments
Sentence fragments are incomplete sentences or parts of sentences. Remember that a complete sentence must contain at least one main or
independent clause
Study the following four examples of sentence fragments and the suggested methods for correcting them.
1.
Because some students work part-time while taking a full load of courses.
Problem
: This is a dependent clause.
To correct
: Attach it to an independent clause.
Because some students work part-time while taking a full load of courses, they have very little free time.
2.
For example, the increase in the cost of renting an apartment.
Problem
:
There is no verb.
To correct
:
Rewrite the sentences so that it has a verb.
For example, the cost of renting an apartment increased.
3.
Feeling lonely and failing most of his classes.
Problem
:
This is a participial phrase.
To correct
:
(a) Add a subject and change the participles to verbs, or
(b) attach the phrase to an independent clause.
(a) He felt lonely and was failing most of his classes.
(b) Feeling lonely and failing most of his classes, the student
wisely decided to make an appointment with his counsellor.
4. Many young people who leave home at an early age.
Problem
:
This is a noun phrase + a relative clause. The independent
clause is unfinished.
To correct
:
(a) Change the relative clause into an independent clause, or
(b) complete the unfinished independent clause.
(a) Many young people leave home at an early age.
(b) Many young people who leave home at an early age do not manage their money well.
Always check your own writing for sentence fragments. Pay particular attention to your sentences beginning with subordinating conjunctions
(although, since, because, if, before, etc). These are DANGEROUS WORDS! Make sure that every subordinate clause beginning with these
words is attached to an independent clause.
EXERCISE 13
10
15
Women Drivers
Male chauvinism extends even into the area of automobile driving, it seems.
Believing that they are far better drivers than women. Men consider women drivers
incompetent, inattentive, and even dangerous behind the wheel.
However, statistics prove that women are, in fact, safer drivers than men. For
example, insurance rates. Insurance rates for women are20 percent lower than they
are for men. Another proof is that more accidents are caused by male drivers
between the ages of 18 and 25 than by any other group. Also, the greater percentage
of accidents involving deaths caused by men. Although women are criticized for being
too cautious. They are really just being safe drivers.
The reasons for women drivers safer driving habits can perhaps be found in
the differing attitudes of the sexes toward automobiles. On the one hand, women
drivers who regard the automobile as a convenience. Like a washing machine. On the
other hand, men regard the automobile as an extension of their egos. Using it as a
weapon when they feel particularly aggressive. Or using it as a status symbol.
All in all, women are safer drivers. Because of their attitude. Men can learn to
become safe drivers. If they adopt the attitude that an automobile is merely a
convenience.
Choppy Sentences
Choppy sentences are sentences that are too short. Although short sentences can be effective, overuse of them is considered poor style in academic
writing.
Choppy sentences are easy to correct. Just combine two or three short sentences to make one compound or complex
sentence. Your decision to make a compound or a complex sentence should be based on whether the ideas in the short sentences are equal of whether
one idea is dependent on the other.
If the sentences express equal ideas, use coordination to combine them.
Choppy sentences
Wind is an enduring source of power. Water is also an unlimited energy source. Dams produce hydraulic power. They have
existed for a long time. Windmills are relatively new.
Corrected
Both wind and water are enduring sources of power. Dams have produced hydraulic power for a long time, but windmills are
relatively new.
If the sentences express unequal ideas , that is, if one sentence expresses a less important idea than the other, use subordination to combine them.
Choppy sentences
We must find new sources of energy. Natural sources of energy are dwindling. 1Solar energy is a promising new sources of
energy. Solar energy is energy from the sun.
Corrected
We must find new sources of energy because natural sources of energy are dwindling. Solar energy, which is energy from the
sun, is a promising new sources.
Examine your own writing carefully. Do you use to many short sentences? If you do, practice combining them.
EXERCISE 14
Rewriting choppy sentences
Improve the following choppy sentences by combining them to make either compound, complex, or compound-complex sentences.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Gasoline became expensive. Automobile manufacturers began to produce smaller cars. Smaller cars use less gas
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The computer has undoubtedly benefited humanity. The computer has also created problems for humanity.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Government and private agencies have spent billions of dollars advertising the dangers of smoking. The number of smokers is still increasing.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Some students go to vocational school to learn a trade. Some students go to college to get a degree.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
The grading system at our college should be abolished. The students dont like getting grades. The instructors dont enjoy giving grades.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________
B. Some of the following sentences are run-ons or comma splices, and some are correct. Check each sentence. If it is incorrect, write RO or
CS in the space a the left. If it is correct, leave the space blank. Then, on a separate piece of paper, correct the incorrect sentences.
Example
RO Two letters arrived on Monday a third one came on Wednesday.
_____
_____
_____
_____
_____
_____
_____
_____
_____
_____
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
C. Locate the run-on/comma splice sentences in the following paragraphs. Mark them by writing RO or CS above them. Then, on a separate
piece of paper, rewrite both paragraphs, correcting the mistakes that you found.
10
Grade Inflation
Teachers at Stone Mountain State College give higher grades than teachers at
twelve of the nineteen other college in the state college system, according to a
recent report form the State Institutional Research Committee. This report
showed that more than one-third of the undergraduate grades awarded in the
spring semester, 1997, were As, only 1.1 percent were Fs. The percentage of As
awarded to graduate students was even higher, almost two third were As.
While students may be happy to receive high grades, there is evidence that
this trend is having negative consequences. Investigation of the admission criteria
of some graduate and professional schools indicates that the admissions offices of
these schools are discounting high grades on the transcripts of SMSC students,
this means that an A from SMSC is not equal to an A from other universities.
Grade inflation may, therefore, hurt a student from Stone Mountain State College
who intends to apply to a graduate or professional school, he or she may not be
accepted despite a high grade point average
Stringy Sentences
A stringy sentence is a sentence with too many independent clauses, usually connected with and, but, so, and because. It often results from
writing the way you speak, going on and on like a string without an end.
There is no rule limiting the number of independent clauses allowed in one sentence, but two is a good maximum. To correct a stringy
sentence, divide it and/or recombine the clauses, remembering to subordinate when appropriate.
Stringy sentence
Corrected
Many students attend classes all morning, and then they work all afternoon, and they also have to study at night,
so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Many students attend classes all morning and work all afternoon. Since they also have to study at night, they are
usually exhausted by the weekend.
Because many students attend classes all morning, work all afternoon, and study at night, they are usually
exhausted by the weekend.
EXERCISE 16
Stringy Sentences
Improve these stringy sentences.
1.
He enrolled in an advanced calculus class, but he found it too difficult, so he dropped it.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
___
2.
3.
4.
5.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
__
The tidal wave ruined the crops, and it destroyed several villages, and it caused many deaths, so it was a real disaster.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
The analysts worked many hours on the computer program, but they couldnt find the cause of the problem, so they finally gave up, and they
went home.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Junk food is bad for your health, and it also contains no vitamins, and it damages your stomach, so people shouldnt eat it.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
The lack of rainfall has caused a severe water shortage, so people have to conserve water every day, and they also have to think of new
ways to reuse water, but the situation is improving.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
REVIEW
These are the important points in the second half of this chapter:
1. Parallelism
Lists of items joined by coordinating conjunctions and correlative conjunctions must be parallel in structure. The same is true of
contracts and comparisons of items. If the first item is noun, make all of the others clauses.
Not Parallel
Parallel
2. Sentence Problems
The four main kids of problem sentences that students may write are fragments, run-ons, comma splice, and choppy and stringy sentences.
Fragments are incomplete sentences.
Fragments: The subject that I enjoyed
the most in high school.
EXERCISE 17
Edit the following paragraph for errors in parallel structure and other sentence problems. Identify the problem sentences
and correct them. (Note: Not every sentence has a problem.)
America: Melting Pot or Salad Bowl?
United States counts its population every ten years, and each census reveals that the racial and ethnic mix
is changing dramatically, so by the year 2050, the average American will not be descended from Europeans, but the
majority of U.S residents will trace their ancestry to Africa, Asia, the Hispanic world, the Pacific island, or the Middle
East. 2Once the United States was microcosm of the European nationalities, today the United States is a microcosm of
the world. 3The United States is no longer considered a melting pot society by many of its residents. 4Insited, many
people prefer the tern salad bowl. 5They use this term to describe American society. 6American society will soon be
predominantly nonwhite. 7Melting pot implies that the different ethnic groups blend together into one homogeneous
mixture, salad bowl implies that nationalities, like the ingredients in a mixed green salad, retain their cultural identities.
8Earlier generations of immigrants believed they had to learn English quickly not only to survive but also for success.
9Now, many immigrant groups do not feel the same need. 10Because there are many places in America where you can
work, shop, get medical care, marry, divorce, and die without knowing English. 11For example, Chinatown in San
Francisco and New York. 12Also, Los Angles has many Vietnamese immigrants and immigrants from Mexico. 13In
addition, many immigrant groups want their children to know their own culture. 14Many Hispanic, for instance, want their
children to learn both English and study the Spanish language in school. 15They are fighting for the right to bilingual
education many communities. 16In many communities they are in the majority.
1The
3. THE PARAGRAPH
A good paragraph contains several related sentences that support one main idea, which is limited to and focused on one sentence. This
sentence helps guide your reader tough the related sentences in the paragraph. This vital sentence serves as a commitment for the writer to
provide an explanation or illustration of this main idea. The term used to identify this main idea is a topic sentence.
A topic sentence has two essential parts: the topic and the controlling idea. The topic names the subject, or main idea, of the paragraph. The
controlling idea makes a specific comment about the topic, which indicates what the rest of the paragraph will say about the topic. It limits or
controls the topic to a specific aspect of the topic to be discussed in the space of a single paragraph.
TOPIC
CONTROLLING IDEA
Convenience foods
are easy to prepare
In this example, the topic is named: convenience foods. A specific comment is then made about the topic: They are easy to prepare. From this
sentence, the reader immediately knows that the supporting sentences in the remainder of the paragraph will explain or prove how quick and
easy it is to prepare convenience foods and perhaps give some examples (frozen dinners, canned soups, etc.)
CONTROLLING IDEA
TOPIC
The native foods of Americas immigrant population are reflected in American cooking.
In this example, the topic is American food. The controlling idea of this topic sentence is that Americans eat many foods from other countries.
Therefore, the reader should expect the paragraph to give examples of popular ethnic foods such as fried rice (Chinese), tacos (Mexican),
sauerbraten (German), sukiyaki (Japanese), spaghetti (Italian), and so on.
EXERCISE 1
Circle the topic and underline the controlling idea in each of the following sentences.
Example:
Driving on freeways requires skill and alertness.
1. Doing well in college requires organization.
2. Trying to buy house is sometimes frustrating.
3. School board meeting inform parents about the school.
4. Buying furniture can be challenging.
5. Enrolling in college can be a surprising experience.
6. Traveling to a foreign country is enlightening.
7. Riding an airplane can be stressful.
8. Going to a high school reunion can bring back many memories
9. Walking to school in the spring saves money.
10. My family enjoys summer fishing trips.
11. Going out to eat can be a cultural experience.
12. Riding a bicycle takes coordination.
EXERCISE 2
Complete each topic below by writing a statement (conclusion or opinion) about it. You will be focusing the topic by adding a controlling idea.
Example:
San Diego
is a good place for wind jamming
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
16.
17.
18.
EXERCISE 3
In the following lists, circle the letter beside the sentence that does not develop the controlling idea which appears in the topic sentences. Then write out the paragraphs,
leaving out sentences that do not belong. Write on a separate sheet of paper.
1 . TOPIC SENTENCE: I enjoy weekends.
a.
I can sleep late Saturday morning.
b.
My friends and I can visit and run around.
c.
I can do all kinds of shopping.
d.
School assignments are due on Monday.
e.
We usually go for a pleasant ride on Sunday afternoons.
2.
a.
b.
c.
d.
3.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f
4.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
5.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
6.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f
TOPIC SENTENCE: We had a hard time getting Peter out of the hole he had fallen into.
First, we made a rope by linking our belts together.
Then we lowered it to Peter, telling him to grasp the end.
After he had hold of the belt-rope. we began to pull him slowly out of the hole.
As he came up, no one dared to speak a word.
The sides of the hole were covered with moss.
Finally, we could grasp his arms, and with a sigh of relief, we pulled him out onto the grassy bank.
7.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
8.
a.
b.
c.
d.
TOPIC SENTENCE: Different cultural groups in Hawaii organize holiday celebrations in different ways.
The Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans celebrate the coming of a new year by setting off firecrackers, Roman candles, sparklers, tiny rockets, and aerial lights.
The Filipinos have their own celebrations with music and dance exhibitions and Filipino food, such as quaking (pastries ) and sabao ("soup").
Mainlanders like to stroll down Kalakaua Avenue in Honolulu during the warm evenings.
Native Hawaiian gather to eat at a typical luau, sampling poi, lau lau, wild pig, lome lome, salmon, opihi, raw fish, and other Hawaiian favorites.
9.
a.
b.
c.
d.
e.
f.
TOPIC SENTENCE: It is hard to travel to work by bus during the rush flour.
You have to wait in long lines at the bus stop.
When the bus arrives, someone always tries to push past you to get in first.
After you pay your fare, you are shoved down the aisle by the rest of the boarding passengers.
Sometimes you can read the morning newspaper during, the ride.
A passenger standing next to you might shove his or her elbow in your ribs, step on your toes or even drop cigarette ashes on you.
It certainly is a relief when you finally reach your stop.
10.
a.
b.
c.
d.
Do not include too many unrelated ideas in your topic sentence ; if you do, your paragraph will not be unified.
Too many ideas : San Francisco is famous for its temperate climate, its many tourist attractions, and its cosmopolitan atmosphere.
The three parts of this controlling idea are too unrelated for a single paragraph. They would require three separate paragraphs.
Good : San Francisco is famous for its cosmopolitan atmosphere.
EXERCISE 4
Write the topic sentence of each paragraph on the lines that follow the paragraph.
Eating lunch is one of my favorite things to do. Because lunch comes in tile middle of the day, it gives me a welcome break from studying. At
school, lunch means thirty minutes out of class and a chance to rest after the morning's work. While eating I can plan what I'm going to do in the
afternoon. Besides offering a pleasant break in the day, lunch is always a good meal.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Baby-sitting with my little brother is no fun. Just as I settle down to read or watch television, he demands that I play with him. If I get a telephone
call, he screams in the background or knocks something over. I always have to hang up to find out what's wrong with him. he refuses to let me eat a
snack in peace. Usually he wants half of whatever I have to eat. Then, when he finally grows tired, it takes about an hour for him to fall asleep.
2. _________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
A bus driver must answer questions while guiding a bus through heavy traffic. All day long the driver answers the same questions without becoming
angry. Every few minutes a bus driver has to ask passengers to step to the rear of the bus. In spite of traffic snarls and thoughtless passengers who
cause delays, a bus driver is expected to cover his or her route on schedule.
3. __________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
If an insect were to irritate a hair of the Venus-flytrap just once, no change would take place. But if within sixty seconds another shock were
applied, the leaves of the planet would quickly snap shut. For here we have a remarkable example of a plant that needs more than on6 shock to
cause the tightening of the leaves.
4. __________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
It is often said that lightning never strikes twice in the same place. But this is not true Go ask the forest rangers. Rangers who spend their
summers as fire fighters will tell you that every thunderstorm brines several bolts of lightning to their craggy lookout stations. Not only can lightning
strike twice in the same place, it is likely to. The familiar saying actually states the opposite of what really happens during an electrical storm.
__________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
People who live in cities today think that meat is something that comes wrapped in cellophane from the supermarket, potatoes come by the
pound in plastic or paper bags, and feathers grow in hats. The city dwellers views are quite different from the views of their ancestors,
who knew that meat is hunted down in the forest, potatoes fire planted and harvested, and only birds can produce feathers. Yet, whether
people today realize it or not, they are still is dependent on animals and plants for their existence as their ancestors were.
6. ___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
English is full of words that have gradually changed their meanings. One example is the word graft. the verb to graft first meant merely "to
work." English people once used the word in such expressions as "Where are you grafting ?" meaning "Where are you working?" From
this perfectly respectable meaning, the word has gradually changed. Today graft to illegal gains won by dishonest politicians.
7. ___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
Many, tourists from the United States and Europe travel to the small Greek island of Mykonos . Once there, visitors can see that the island has
365 churches on it.. 'The reason there are so .many churches on Mykonos results from a tradition the people have developed. Whenever
a seafarer from the island narrowly escaped death at sea, he would build a church in gratitude.
8. ___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
EXERCISE 5
Arrange these groups of sentences by first choosing one as the topic sentence.
1.)
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
2.)
3.) 1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
They are not perfect, of course, but they usually do not make mistakes.
First, they are fast
Computers are helpful in many ways.
Second, computers can work with lots of information at the same time.
They can work with information much more quickly than a person.
Third, they can keep information for a long time.
Also, computers are almost always correct
They do not Forget things the way people do
4. UNITY
All sentences in a good paragraph relate to the topic sentence (main idea). When any idea doesnt relate specially to the topic sentence, then that
paragraph lacks unity or is not unified. Look at the paragraph below. This draft has one main idea and several support sentences that help to
explain the general word(s) expressed in the topic sentence.
American scientist are working hard to gather facts about sea turtles called leatherbacks. The observers work, no matter what the weather is like
on clear days or in pouring rain. They count the turtles as they come ashore. When the turtles lay their eggs, the scientists walk up and down the
beaches for many hours at a time. They count the eggs in the sand. Then, later they count the eggs that hatch. These biologists know that they are
collecting information that will someday be important to other scientists.
This paragraph shows the three parts of a good paragraph topic sentence, support sentences, and concluding sentence (or conclusion). Now
check to see if the paragraph has the important element of unity.
To check for unity, first separate the topic sentence into its two parts.
Topic: American scientists
Direction or general word(s): are working hard to gather facts about sea turtles called leatherbacks.
Second, check each support sentence against the topic sentence. Each supporting idea is a specific fact or detail that explains what the scientists
actually do to work hard to gather information. In this case, all the sentences after the topic sentence must explain how the scientists are working
hard to gather facts about sea turtles. So that you can judge the supporting sentences better, they are listed below.
Topic Sentence
American scientists are working hard to gather facts about sea turtles called leatherbacks.
Support Sentences
The observers work, no matter what the weather is like-on clear days or in pouring rain.
They count the turtles as they come ashore.
. The scientists walk up and down the beaches for many hours at a time.
They count the eggs in the sand.
Then, later, they count the eggs that hatch.
Notice that the bold words in each support sentence make reference to the main idea in the topic sentence.
This paragraph has unity because all the information clearly and directly relates to the general idea in the topic sentence. All you have to do
to check a paragraphs unity is to see if each sentence gives details that explain the main idea in the topic sentence. Similarly, the best way to write
good, unified paragraphs is to make all the sentences between your topic sentence and the conclusion explain your main idea.
Now read the following draft of the preceding paragraph. Look for the sentence that does not explain the topic sentence. This sentence
breaks the unity of the paragraph.
American scientists are working hard to gather facts about sea turtles called leatherbacks. The observers work, no matter what the weather
is like - on clear days or in pouring rain. The leatherback is the only kind of turtle that can live in the cold North Atlantic Ocean. They count the
turtles as they come ashore. When the turtles lay their eggs, the scientists walk up and down the beaches for many hours at a time. They count the
eggs in the sand. Then, later, they count the eggs that hatch. These biologists know that they are collecting information that will someday be
important to other scientists.
The sentence that breaks the unity is "The leatherback is the only kind of turtle that can live in the cold North Atlantic Ocean." This sentence
tells about the turtles; it does not directly relate to how the observers work to get their information. Consequently, this sentence spoils the
paragraph's unity.
The following exercise will help you identify sentences that do not support a topic sentence. Being able to identify such unrelated sentences
will help you preserve the unity in the paragraphs you are writing.
EXERCISE 1
Some of the following paragraphs are not unified because they contain sentences that do not relate to the controlling idea. If you find such a sentence,
underline it. Then write out each paragraph, leaving out any sentence you have underlined. Write on a separate sheet of paper.
I . Because a sprained ankle offers all the benefits of an illness and few of the disadvantages, it is a very popular complaint. It never kills anyone, and it
always gets better in a short time. It brings sympathy and is a reason for a week's absence from school. The dean checks into unauthorized absences.
Since there is usually no pain except when the ankle is moved, it gives its victims a perfect rest and a delightful reason to be waited oil.
2. Truly, nylon is a magic word. First, it is a mystery of chemistry. Second, it is made by what seems like a sleight-of hand process. Third, it has many
artful uses. Fourth, cotton is not as heavy as wool. Fifth, the future uses of nylon may cause as much surprise as the sight of a white rabbit being
pulled out of a magician's had Nylon is a miracle or modern science.
3. The discovery of America was an accident. It was the result of Europe's desire for trade with China and India. In 1492, Christopher Columbus set
out under the flag of Spain to find a direct sea route to the rich trading areas of the Far East. He hoped to find a shorter route to China and India. So he
sailed due west across tile Atlantic. Instead, he found two huge continents that were until then unknown to Europe. They blocked his way to the Far
East. These two continents were North America and South America.
4. Since drug addiction is an emotional problem, an antiaddiction program that works well for the British might not work so well with people of a different
culture. To support this view, authorities point to the drug problem in Hong Kong. Shopping bargain are easy to find in this free port. Hong Kong is a
British colony. It enjoys the benefits 6f the, "British system." But Hong Kong, with one-third the population of New York City, has more addicts (about
1.50,000, or I for every 10 adult males) than are found in the entire United States. In fact, Hong Kong is the only city in the world with more heroin
addicts than New York.
5. Mount Lassen 10,453 feet high, is one of the most active volcanoes in the United States. It had strong eruptions in 1914-1917 and minor activity' as
late as 1921. Gold was first discovered in California in 1849. Nature has softened down most of the rough spots on Mount Lassen's stortening them
with vegetation. But it is sill a place of jagged cliffs, bubbling mud pots, fuming vents, boiling lakes, and weird lava formations. Although volcano activity
in Hawaii has been more spectacular recently, California's Mount Lassen might erupt at any time.
6. People think of the United States as a rich and plentiful nation. It is, but it is not self-sufficient. Its reliance on foreign sources is made clear every
day in the years Topping the list is oil. Most oil is imported from the Middle Eastern countries of Saudi Arabia and Iraq. Or take sugar. Cane sugar
ranks high in value among imported foodstuffs. Or consider coffee. Coffee drinking could not be an American habit if imports from Venezuela and
Brazil were cut off. Morning leaders would not have their newspapers without printing ink. Much of that comes front Canada. The chief source of raw
silk is Japan. A wristwatch may or may not be a Swiss watch, but the inner movements are probably imported. Ninety percent of them are.
7. Learning a foreign language has changed. Not so long ago, students would sit with pens in hand, writing the basic forms of a language, learning
structures they would never be able to speak. In that same classroom today, pens and notebooks have been put away. The spoken, sounds of a
foreign tongue fill the room. Today the last skill learned - writing a foreign language - comes as natural and possible part of time total languagelearning, process. Yet, just a few years ago, the last skill learned \vas the first skill mastered today - speaking a foreign tongue? To visit some foreign
countries, travelers have to apply for visas.
8. Desert animals have the problem of finding water and keeping it. Phoenix gets much of its water from tile Colorado River. Insect-eaters draw liquid
from their foods. Most desert animals avoid the drying heat as much as possible. They spend their time in burrows where the damp earth and coolness
cut down the amount of evaporation from their breathing. All birds seek shade wherever they can find it. Reptiles have an added reason for avoiding the
desert sun's rays. Being cold-blooded creatures without the protection of fur, feathers, or other cooling devices, snakes can be killed by a short exposure
to full sun. Many desert animals find an important source of water through the breakdown of fits in the body. Lizards, for example, store fat in their tails,
much as the camel stores fat in his hump.
9. Some teachers seem to be good teachers. But they are not, even though their students have no special fault to find with them. They are not good
teachers because they have no social vision, no social urge, no fight. They know their respective fields well. They have orderly minds. Their courses
are well planned and efficiently taught. Yet something keeps them from being a great teacher like Socrates. No top-knotch teacher is more interested in
the subject being taught than in students or social progress. A good teacher never ceases to think of the fates and sorrows of fellow beings. A good
teacher is always eager to bring about a social structure in which people will be free to be themselves. European countries seem to accept individuality
much more than the United States does.
10. Of the many ways to measure body temperature, the most common is the mercury thermometer. A mercury thermometer consists of a narrow,
sealed glass tube called a capillary. At the bottom end is a small bulb. Mercury fills the bulb and the bottom part of the capillary; the remaining section is
empty. The thermometer works on this principle: When the temperature rises, the mercury and the glass bulb both expand . But the mercury expands
more than the glass does. This forces a small part of the mercury up the narrow capillary. A scale is engraved on the glass to allow a person to read
the temperature.
EXERCISE 2
In the paragraphs below, the first half is written for you. Choose any five of the paragraphs and complete them. Make sure that each sentence you add
refers to the controlling idea in the topic sentence. Write a unified paragraph. Use separate sheet of paper.
1. Students have different ways of studying. Some students work in their rooms, Others prefer to do their homework in the library. Although some
students try to do homework as soon as possible after class, other students put it off until the last minutes
2. A bank offers many services to its customers. Perhaps the most popular service for many people is a checking account. A large number of people
also open savings accounts.
3. Sometimes it's hard for a student to have an active social life. Students spend many hours each week in class. Then homework also takes a lot of
time.
4. "Instant" foods and services have become popular in the United States and in other countries. We all know of people who rely on dehydrated coffee
every morning for an "instant" wake-up drink.
5. Owning an automobile is a great convenience, but it also becomes a big responsibility. A car cannot take care of itself. It often needs to have its oil or
water checked. The battery water and tires may need to be inspected.
6. Shoppers have found that buying things on an impulse can have disastrous effects on their budgets. If you go to a supermarket with a written list of
needed items rather than just picking things up at random, your final bill is likely to be lower. Attractive store window displays can also lead to buying
expensive goods that are not really needed.
7. When people want to relax on weekend evening, there are many ways to do so. Some people always look forward to weekends so they can go to a
movie. Others wouldn't let a Friday or Saturday pass without visiting a bowling alley.
8. It is always possible to run into problems when traveling by air. '"pleasant', experience of seeing new places is sometimes clouded by the cancellation
of a reservation because an airline is overbooked. Long waits to make flight connections at crowded airports can also be difficult.
EXERCISE 3
Use three of the following sentences beginning topic sentences for three short, unified paragraph. Write on separate sheet of people.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
5. C O H E R E N C E
We have seen that a paragraph must have a topic and controlling idea, supporting details or sentences. It must also have unity. Another
element that a paragraph needs is coherence. A coherent paragraph contains sentences that are logically arranged and that flow smoothly.
Logical arrangement refers to the order of your sentences and ideas. There are various ways to order your sentences, depending on your
purpose. For example, if you want to describe what happens in a movie - that is, the plot - your sentences would follow the sequence or the action
in the movie, from beginning' to end. If, on the other hand, you want to describe the most exciting moments in the movie, you would select- a few
moments and decide on a logical order for discussion - perhaps presenting the least exciting moments first and the most exciting last to create
suspense.
A paragraph can be incoherent even when the principle for ordering the ideas is logical. Sometimes, as students are writing they remember
something that they wanted to say earlier and include it as they write. Unfortunately, this sentence often ends up out of place. Study the following
paragraph, in which one or more sentences are out of order:
Although Grants Pass, Oregon, is a fairly small town, it offers much to amuse summer visitors. They can go ratting down the
Rogue River. They can go swimming in the Applegate River Lots of people go hunting for wild berries that grow along the
roadsides. Campers will find lovely campgrounds that are clean. There are several nice hotels. Tourists can browse through a
number of interesting shops in town such as antique stores, One fun activity is shopping at the open market where local folks sell
vegetables grown in their gardens. Grants Pass has a lot of places to eat, ranging from a low-calorie dessert place to lovely
restaurants. Some of these restaurants offer good food and gorgeous views. One store to visit is the shop that sells items made
from Oregon's beautiful myrtlewood. Fishing in the area is also a popular activity. Water sports are by far the main attraction. As
you can see, Grants Pass offers a lot to do in the summer, If you want to give your family a nice, wholesome vacation, try visiting
Grants Pass.
The paragraph seems to have a principle of organization: The first half is devoted to activities in the areas use outside of the city itself, and the last
half discusses activities within the city. However, toward the end of the paragraph the writer seems to throw in a few sentences as all afterthought.
Three sentences-"One store, to visit is the shop that sells items made from Oregon's beautiful myrtlewood," "Fishing ill the area is also a popular
activity," and "Water sports are by far the main attraction"- are out of place. This. paragraph could be revised as follows:
Although Grants Pass, Oregon, is a fairly small town. It offers much to amuse summer visitors. Water sports are by far the main
attraction. Visitors can go rafting down the Rogue River. They can go swimming in the Applegate River Fishing in the area is a
popular activity. Lots of people go hunting for wild berries that grow along the roadsides. Campers will find lovely campgrounds that
are clean. There are several nice hotels. Tourists can browse through a number of interesting shops in town, such as antique
stores. One store to visit is the shop that sells items made from Oregon's beautiful myrtlewood. One fun activity is shopping at the
open market where local folks sell vegetables grown in their gardens. Grants Pass has a lot of places to eat, ranging from a lowcalorie dessert place to lovely restaurants. Some of these restaurants offer good food and gorgeous views. As you can see, Grants
Pass offers a lot to do in the summer. If you want to give your family a nice, wholesome vacation, try visiting Grants Pass.
The order of the sentences in this revised version is improved, but it is still not completely coherent, for the sentences do not always flow smoothly.
Smooth flow refers to how well one idea or sentence leads into another. Smooth flow can be achieved through sentence combining and through the
use of certain expressions, called transition, that provide the links between ideas.
A writer makes sure a paragraph will be coherent by planning how to build the paragraph before writing. Depending on your subject matter, you can
develop a paragraph in any of these six ways:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
From the most important example or reason to the least important example or reason
From the least important example or reason to the most important example or reason
In order of time
In order of space
From a general statement to supporting facts
From supporting facts to a general statement
Immediately following the opening topic sentence.' the writer names the most important reason for Savita's liking to live in a private house: It costs
less. The next three reasons given are increasingly less important.
3.
Development by time.
First, pre-heat, cool, and weigh a clean, dry Pyrex test tube on a chemical balance to the nearest 0. Olg. Next, record the mass in the Data
Table on the following page. Use a platform balance to weigh out approximately 1.5 g of C.P. grade copper (II) oxide. Then transfer it to the
weighed Pyrex tube. Now reweigh the tube and contents to the nearest 0. Olg. Do not forget to record the mass as before.
In this paragraph describing the process of scientific measurement, all six sentences follow each other in time. The steps of the process are
arranged in the order in which they actually happen.
4.
Development by space.
Carlos looked at the scene from the summit of Mt. Everest. In the distant north he saw Tibet. A bit closer, he saw some of the lower peaks of
the Himalayan range. On a ledge about 1,000 feet below him, he saw the figures of some of the men who had helped him prepare for his final
climb to the top.
One away to organize by space is to begin with the object that is farthest away from viewer and then in each sentence move gradually closer to
the point where the viewer is standing. Following the opening topic sentence on this paragraph, the three sentences do this.
5.
6.
The first six sentences of this paragraph gives supporting facts that lead up to the
general conclusion in the closing sentence.
EXERCISE 1
Revise the lettering of the following sentences so that this new order will form a different paragraph. Then write out the paragraph on a separate sheet of
paper. Fill in the blank with the kind of development in the paragraph.
1. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
_________
_________
_________
_________
_________
a. When he was almost at the top, his foot had slipped on a loose rock, and he had nearly fallen 1,000 feet down the steep side of the peak.
b. At the bottom, Professor John Mathewson had sprained his ankle.
c.
Finally-, Professor John Mathewson crawled to the top of Mt. Everest.
d. It had been a long, hard climb to the top.
e. Partway up, he had lost his rope.
2. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
_________ a. Then, too, my mother wanted me to stay close to my sister.
_________ b. I argued that two of year of study abroad would help me a lot at this stage of my career.
_________ c.
For one thing my, father was not well.
_________ d. Finally my sister offered to stay at home alone during my absence.
_________ e. I found it hard to leave my home and travel to another land.
_________ f.
This made some of my problems begin to vanish.
3. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
________ a.
Behind the house a hill rose sharply.
________ b.
Standing at the edge of the road, I looked up the gently winding driveway that climbed to the front of the house.
________ c.
I had never seen such a lovely setting for a house.
________ d.
The hill ended in a curved peak that seemed to frame the whole scene.
________ e.
The house stood on a level space surrounded by tall oak trees.
4. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
________
________
________
________
a.
b.
c.
d.
He spent the first fifteen minutes of the hour working on the first of ten examination problems.
He spent other minutes doodling on his test paper,
Jose did not complete his mathematics examination yesterday.
Like many college students, he does not know how to use time
profitably during an examination
5. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
_________ a.
Then you will come to a hallway leading to the library's music room.
_________ b.
Walking around the information desk to the left, you will pass a children reading room on your right.
_________ c.
The sign reads, To the Music Room.
_________ d.
As you enter the main door of the library, you will see the information desk directly in front of you.
_________ e.
At the end of the hallway you will see a sign.
EXERCISE 2
Some of the following paragraphs lack coherence. Rewrite any faulty paragraphs, changing, the older of sentences to make them coherent.
Write on a separate sheet of paper. Fill in the blank with the kind of development in the paragraph.
1. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
Second, she never missed a class. Elizabeth's classmates knew that she would win the top award in chemistry during her senior year at
Columbia University. Third, she performed every required experiment in all her chemistry courses. First, she had studied chemistry during her
sophomore. and junior years. Fourth, she always worked hard.
2. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
While standing in front of the information desk in the Library, I saw some students using the files in the reference room some distance away; About 15 feet away
from me, an old lady wearing a large red hat put on her glasses. She was studying a rare book in one of the locked display cases. Much closer to me, two students were
quietly and seriously talking about a book.
3. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
Our candidates do not want our blessings. When she went to the polls, she took her ballot and simply wrote on the bottom of it, "God bless you all!" We should not
be like the lady who knew all the candidates in a small-town election and thought they were all such nice people that she could not choose among them. They want our
votes. We must all use our right to vote.
4. KIND OF DEVELOPMET:
_____________________________________________________________________
But the state's population, although it is growing at a tremendous rate, is well below that of the city of Pittsburgh. Arizona is a large state. Yet Arizona could absorb
all six New England states, add Holland, and still have more than enough room to tuck in Switzerland. Arizonans have plenty of living room. Its population is only
638,000. On a map, bordered by other western states, Arizona appears to be only of average size.
5. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT:
_____________________________________________________________________
Why not start now? Use it correctly in conversation three times before tomorrows class. A good vocabulary, then, can give you a real sense of power and a feeling
of pleasure. The word will then be yours to keep. You'll be on your way toward making yourself a master or words. If you learn a new word every day, in a year's time
you will have 365 new sources of power and pleasure. Look up the word genial in a dictionary before you leave school this afternoon.
EXERCISE 3
You are given the first and last sentences of five paragraphs. The first sentence is the topic sentence; the last sentence is the conclusion. Fill in the body of these
paragraphs.
Make each sentence build on what has been said in the previous sentence to create coherence paragraph. Write the kind of development you have chosen in the
blank line.
1. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT: _________________________________________Cooking shortcuts are useful for saving time. _________________
_____________________________________________________________________With shortcuts like these, anyone can succeed in the kitchen.
2. KIND OF DEVELOPNFENT: _______________________________________ People have different tastes in movies._______________________
________________________________ Fortunately, enough films are produced to please most everyone.
3. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT : __________________________________________A newspaper contains much more than the news of the day.
_________________________________________ All these features appear in a daily newspaper.
4. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT: ____________________Budgeting is important for every family. ___________________ By following a budget some people learn to
live within their income for the first rime.
5. KIND OF DEVELOPMENT : _________________Trying to solve a problem is better than pretending it doesn't exist. __________________ Although some
problem can't be worked out, other problems can be solved if you look for solution.
EXERCISE 4
Use three of the following sentences as beginning topic sentences for three short, coherent paragraphs. Write on a separate sheet of paper.
On your paper, write the kind of development you chose.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
EXERCISE 5
Write a paragraph on any subject as an example of a paragraph with coherence. Include a topic sentence in any position in the paragraph.
Make sure the topic sentence contains a controlling idea. Write on a separate sheet of paper. On your paper, write the kind of development
you chose.
6. KINDS OF PARAGRAPHS
__________________________________________________________________
DEFINITION PARAGRAPHS
Like all forms of writing, paragraphs are written for a specific purpose. The purpose determines what information you include in the paragraph and
how you write it. In this unit, you will look at one kind of paragraph, the definition paragraph. Definition is a common kind of writing that is easy
to understand.
WHAT IS A DEFENITION PARAGRAPH?
A definition paragraph defines something. The word definition comes from the verb to define, which means to state the meaning of a word or to
describe the basic quality of something. In a definition paragraph, the writers main purpose is to tell you what something is.
A definition paragraph
* explains what something is
* gives facts, details, and examples to make the definition clear to the reader
The best way to learn what a definition paragraph looks like is to read and study several examples. The three paragraphs that follow are about
different topics, but each is an example of a definition paragraph.
EXERCISE 1 Studying Example Definition Paragraphs
Read and study these example paragraphs. Answer the questions .
Paragraph 1
This paragraph is about a kind of food that is common in the southern part of Lousiana. You might write a definition paragraph when you need
to explain a special dish or dance or custom from your own country.
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these questions with your classmates.
Gumbo
EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
The dictionary definition of gumbo does not make sound as delicious as it really is. The dictionary defines gumbo as a thick soup made
in south Louisiana. However, anyone who has tasted this delicious dish knows that this definition is too bland to describe gumbo. It is true
that gumbo is a thick soup, but it is much more than that. Gumbo, one of the most popular of all the Cajun dines, is made with different
kinds of seafood or meat mixed with vegetable such as green peppers and onions. For example, seafood gumbo contains shrimp and crab.
Other kinds of gumbo include chicken, sausage, or turkey. Regardless of the ingredients in gumbo, it is always served in a bowl over rice.
1.
What is the topic sentence of this paragraph?
_____________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 2
This paragraph defines something that many people think is wrong, but some people do it anyway. The practice can be harmful.
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these question with your classmates.
1.
2.
3.
According to The American Heritage Dictionary, gossip is a trivial rumor of a personal nature, but this definition makes gossip harmless. At
first, gossip might not seem so bad. One person tells a second person something about someone, and that second person tells a third, and
so on. The information passes from person to person. However, gossip is much more than just information and rumor. As the rumor
continues, it grows and changes. People do not know all the facts. They add information. As the gossip goes from one person to the next
person, the damage continues, and the person who is the subject of the gossip cant do anything to answer or protect himself or herself.
Because the potential damage may range from hurt feelings to a lost career, gossip is much worse than simply a trivial rumor.
Paragraph 3
What is your favourite snack food? This paragraph talks about one kind of snack food that is popular nowadays.
Before you read the paragraph, discus these questions with your classmates.
1. Write a definition in your own words for snack. Compare your definition with other students.
2. Name three examples of popular snack.
3. Why do you think these three snacks are so popular?
Pretzels
A pretzel is a salted, glazed biscuit that is often shaped or twisted like a knot. The first pretzels were made in an Italian
monastery in 610 A.D. These twisted strips of bread were originally called pretiola. Which means :little reward in Latin. They were
given as treats to local children. The pretzel rapidly became popular throughout Europe. Today the pretzel is an especially popular
snack in Germany, Austria, and the United State. As a matter of fact, the current pronunciation of the snack comes from a twisting
of the word pretiola into the modern English word pretzel.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The topic of this paragraph is a popular Mexican dish. People have to be careful when they eat this food because it can be messy.
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these question with your classmates.
1.
2.
3.
What are some Mexican food dishes? Do you know the ingredients? If so, what are they?
Are many of these foods messy when you eat them? If so, what make them messy?
Name a food that was very messy. Why was this particular food messy?
Eating a juicy taco is not easy. It requires following specific direction. First, you must be sure you are
wearing clothes that you dont mind getting dirty. Eating a taco while you are wearing an expensive silk blouse is
not a smart idea. The next thing that you should do is to decide if you want to eat the taco alone or in front of
others. Eating a taco in front of someone you do not know very well, such as a new date, can be embarrassing. The
last step is to plan your attack! It is a good idea to pick up the taco gently and carefully keep it in a horizontal
position. As you raise the taco, slowly turn your head toward it and position your head at a twenty-degree angle.
The last step is to put the corner of the taco in your mouth and bite. By following these simple directions, eating a
taco can be a pleasant experience.
Paragraph 2
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these question with your classmates.
1.
2.
3.
EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
Although the process for applying to an American university is not complicated. It is important to follow each step. The first
step is to choose several school that you are interested in attending. Next, write to these schools to ask for information,
catalogues, and applications. You may also want to visit the schools Web sites. After you have researched several schools, narrow
your list to three to five. Then mail all the required forms and documents only to your final list of three to five schools. If the
school of your choice requires you to take a standardized test such as the SAT or ACT, be sure to do so early. In addition, ask
various school officials and teachers to write letters of recommendation for you if the university requires them. Finally, almost all
school have an application fee. This should be sent in the form of a check or many order. One last piece of advice is to start early
because thousands of high school students are all applying at the same time.
Researched: investigated
1. What is the topic sentence of this paragraph?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________
2. What is the authors main suggestion for a successful application process?
_____________________________________________________________________
3. Does the paragraph explain the different between the ACT and SAT? Why or why not?
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
________________
4. According to the information in this paragraph, how many step are there?____ Which of the steps has two parts? Write them here.
_____________________________________________________________________
Paragraph 3
This paragraph is about another kind food, but it tells how to make the food instead of how to eat it. It describes how to make a kind of beverage from
Turkey.
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these questions with your classmates.
1.
2.
3.
What are some of the most popular beverages? Are they served hot or cold? Are they easy to difficult to prepare?
Have you ever visited Turkey? What information do you know about this country?
Can you name any popular beverages that come from Turkey?
1.
2.
A Unique Treat
Turkish coffee is not easy to make, but the results are delicious. First, you need a special coffeepot called a jezve. This is a long handle,
open brass or copper pot. Pour three small cups of water into the pot. Next, heat the water until it boils. Then remove the pot from the
heat. Add three teaspoons of coffee and three teaspoons of sugar to the water. Gently stir the mixture and return it to the heat until
you can see foam on the top. When you can see the foam on top, take the jezve from the heat and hit it lightly with a spoon to make the
foam go down. Reheat the coffee and tap the pot two more times, making sure to remove it from the heat each time the foam forms..
Before you serve the coffee, give everyone a small of fresh water to drink with their hot, thick coffee.
Example
Then
First, (Second, Third, etc.)
Next, (The next step/thing)
Before
After
1.Now turn back to paragraph 2 and circle all the transition words that you can find. Notice that some time phrases and words are followed by a
comma when they appear at the beginning of a sentence. Time clauses ( After you have researched several schools,) are always followed by a
comma when they appear at the beginning of a sentence.
EXERCISE 2
Sequencing Sentence
The following sentences make up a paragraph. Number them from 1 to 8 to indicate the best order. Then underline all the time words or
phrases.
a.______ Hit the ball into the small box on the opposite side of the net.
b.______ After you hit the ball, continue swinging your racket down and across the front of your body.
c.______ Just before the ball reaches its peak, begin to swing your racket forward as high as you can reach.
d.______ First, toss the ball with your left hand about three feet in the air. The best position for the ball is just to the right of your head.
e.______ At the same time, move your racket behind your shoulder with your right hand so that your elbow is pointed at the sky.
f.______ After you have completed the serve, your racket should be near your left knee.
g.______ Many people think serving in tennis is difficult, but the following steps show that it is quite easy.
h.______ If you are left-handed, you should substitute the words left and right in the preceding directions.
3.
_____ First put the water and the plants in the jar.
_____ One week later check the fish.
_____ The fact that the fish is still alive shows that oxygen was added. If you look carefully at a plant stem when it is in sunlight, you can see
the tiny bubbles of oxygen escaping from the plant.
_____ When you do this be sure to leave about an inch of empty space.
_____ Keep the jar in a cool place indoors, but be sure that it receives some direct sunlight for a few hours each day.
_____ When you are sure that the water in the jar is at room temperature add the fish.
_____ Here is a simple science experiment that proves that plants produce oxygen.
_____ For this experiment, you will need a clean quart jar with a tight lid, some tape, a goldfish, some water, and a few greed plants.
_____ Put the lid on as tightly as you can.
_____ After that wrap the lid with several layers of tape so that you are sure no air can pass through it.
Choose a topic
Write some notes about the step in the process
Write a topic sentence with controlling ideas.
Write supporting sentence that give the step in chronological order. Use transition words to make sure the steps are in the correct order.
8. DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPHS
You use description every day. You might describe to a friend how you feel or what you had for lunch. In description, you tell someone what
something looks or feels like. What descriptions have you used today?
WHAT IS A DESCRIPTIVE PARAGRAPH?
A descriptive paragraph describes how something or someone looks or feels. It gives an impression of something. If you only wanted to
explain to someone what a samovar is, for example, you could write a definition paragraph because a definition paragraph does not include
how the writer feels. However, if you wanted to tell about the feelings you had when you drank a cup of Russian tea that was made in a
samovar, you would write a descriptive paragraph.
Samovar memory
Every time I have a cup of strong Russian tea. I remember my sweet grandma and her magical samovar. When I was a little girl, my
grandmother would make tea for me in this giant, gleaming tea um. I was fascinated by the samovar and its tasty contents. Its copper sides
were decorated with beautiful red and black swirls. Grandma told me that the intricate decorations were painted by skilled craftsmen from
her village. I can still remember the smell of the dark tea that my grandma made using the urn. Its leaves always filled her tiny apartment
with an exotic aroma, and the rich brew tasted like liquid velvet.
A descriptive paragraph
Describes
Gives impressions, not definitions
shows the reader
creates a sensory* image in the readers mind
Example 1
Example 2
Sight
Taste
Touch
Hearing
Smell
A sunset
Wedding cake
Silk
A babys cry
perfume
___________________
__________________
___________________
___________________
Write your five example from the list above in the left column. In the right column, write three adjectives that describe each object. Try to use different
sense. One has been done for you as an example.
Example
Description
Sunset________________________
1. _________________________
2. _________________________
3. _________________________
4. _________________________
5. _________________________
Use the five topics from Exercise 1. For each one write a descriptive sentence using one or more of the adjectives you wrote. Share your
sentences with a classmate.
The best way to learn what descriptive paragraphs look like is to read and study several examples. The three paragraphs that follow are about
different topics, but each is an example of a descriptive paragraph.
EXERCISE 3 Studying Example Descriptive Paragraphs
This first paragraph describes the sights, smells, and sounds of a subway station.
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these questions with your classmates.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
Underground Events
The subway is an assault on your sense. You walk down the steep, smelly staircase onto the subway platform.
On the far right wall, a broken clock shows that the time is four-thirty. You wonder how long it has been broken.
A mother and her crying child are standing to your left. She is trying to clean dried chocolate syrup off the young
childs face. Farther to the left, two old men are arguing about the most recent tax increase. Your heard a little
noise and some paper trash roll by like a soccer ball. The most interesting thing you see while you are waiting for
your subway train is a poster. It read Come to Jamaica. Deep blue skies, a lone palm tree, and sapphire waters
call you to this exotic faraway place.
Paragraph 2
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these questions with your classmates.
1. What are some dangerous kinds of weather?
2. Have you ever experienced this kind of weather? How did you feel?
3. When you think of these kinds of weather, what sensory adjectives come to mind?
The long, slender tornado began to descend from the swirling clouds. When the deadly funnel finally touched the
ground, pieces of debris were hurled through the air. The tornado ripped the roof from an old house and threw the contents
of the home across the neighborhood. All the while, the tornados ferocious winds roared like a wild beast. It was hard to
believe that something that looked so delicate could cause so much destruction.
Paragraph 3
The next paragraph describes what the writers mother did while she worked in her garden. Notice how often the writer appeals to the senses of sight and
touch.
Before you read the paragraph, discuss these questions with your classmates.
1.
2.
3.
4.
My father constantly teased my mother about the amount of time she spent in her beautiful rose garden. He told her
that she treated the garden as if it were a human being. However, Mom ignored his teasing and got up very early every
morning to take care of her special plants. She ripped out many weeds that threatened her delicate beauties. She also
trimmed the old flowers to make room for their bright replacements. Any unwanted pests were quickly killed. When she was
finished, she always returned from the garden with a wonderful smile and an armful of fragrant flowers for us all to enjoy.
Choose a topic
Brainstorm some sensory adjectives (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch).
Write a topic sentence with controlling ideas.
Write supporting sentences that relate to the topic.
Make sure the adjectives mean precisely what you want them to mean. Check both the denotation and the connotation.
Make sure your concluding sentence restates the topic.
9. OPINION PARAGRAPHS
WHAT IS AN OPINION PARAGRAPH?
An opinion paragraph expresses the writers opinion. A good writer will include not only opinions, but also facts to support his or her opinions.
For example, if a writer says Smoking should not be allowed anywhere, the writer must give reasons for this opinion. One reason could be a fact,
such as Thirty thousand people died in the United States and Canada last year because of lung cancer-a known result of smoking. This fact
supports the writers opinion.
An opinion paragraph
Gives the writers opinions about a topic
Interprets or explains facts
Is often about a controversial issue
Makes the reader think
Considers both sides of an argument
WORKING WITH OPINIONS
It helps to know how you feel about a topic when you read an opinion paragraph. Sometimes the writer may try to persuade you to agree with her
or him.
EXERCISE 1 Example Opinion Paragraphs
This paragraph is about assisted suicide, a controversial topic that many people are discussing nowadays.
1. Do you believe that terminally ill people have the right to end their lives?
2. Do you think that there should be laws to stop people from killing themselves if they are in pain? Why or why not?
EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Studies show that there has been an increase in the number of people who support medicine, which happens when people
with terminal diseases choose to end their lives rather than continue living. One common argument for this growing supports
is that people should not be forced to continue living if they are in severe pain and cannot live with this constant pain. A
second reason is that staying in the hospital for a long time often causes a financial burden on the family. Terminally ill
people often worry about the hardship that this will cause their families. Finally, people who are dying sometimes lose hope.
Even if they are alive, they can often only lie in bed, and for some people, this is not lie. While many people believe that
medicine is an unnatural way to die and should remain illegal, sick people should certainly have the right to end their lives
if they want.
Paragraph 2
This paragraph is less serious than paragraph 1. The subject deals with the question, Which is better, Coke or Pepsi?
Do you like the taste of Coke? Do you like the taste of Pepsi? Do you have a preference?
Do you know what the ingredients in Coke and Pepsi are?
Coca-Cola and Pepsi are known all over the world. Why do you think these products are so popular?
Read the following paragraph and see how the writer feels about Coke and Pepsi.
EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
Always Coca-Cola
No matter how much money Pepsi spends on advertising. Coke will always be better in my opinion. Some people say
that the two soft drinks are the same, but I think Coke is much better. First of all, its not as sweet as Pepsi. It has
just the right amount of carbonation, or fizz. In addition, the packaging of the product is unique yet simple. Even if
Michael Jackson goes on television and tries to convince me about the greatness of Pepsi, it wont change my mind.
For me, its always Coca-Cola.
1.
2.
3.
4.
Paragraph 3
This paragraph deals with a current controversial issue-school uniforms.
Before you read, discuss these questions with your classmates
1.
2.
3.
EXAMPLE
PARAGRAPH
School uniforms should be mandatory for all students for a number of reasons. First, they make everyone equal. In this
way, the rich kids are on the same level as the poor ones. In addition, getting ready for school can be much faster and easier.
Many kids waste time choosing what to wear to school, and they are often unhappy with their final choices. Most important,
some studies show that school uniform make students perform better. Many people might say that uniforms take away from
personal freedom, but I believe the benefits are stronger than the drawbacks.
EXERCISE 5
Original Writing Practice
Develop a paragraph about a strong opinion that you have. Include facts to support your opinion. Follow these guidelines:
Choose a topic.
Brainstorm your opinions. If you want, use the newspaper for ideas.
Write a topic sentence with controlling ideas.
Write supporting sentences with facts that support your opinions.
Check for incorrect word forms.
Give your opinion about a famous person. Is he or she worthy of this fame? Why or why not?
How do you feel about capital punishment? Do you agree or disagree with this method of punishing criminals? Explain your opinions.
Should women be allowed in combat positions in the military? Why or why not?
When is a person considered an adult?
Which do you prefer, classical music or pop music? Why is one better than the other?
Back in time
Or sequence
event
situation
action
Idea
problem
Cause
Reason
Purpose
consequence
result
solution
Connective
Heat
Price rose
Any marks on the leaves are
probably
Cause
As a result
Due to
iron to expand.
Fewer goods were sold.
The same virus.
Making use of the information in the correct answers from the previous exercise complete the following sentences. Inside the box write the appropriate
connective or verb marker (see the Structure And Vocabulary Aid). The first one has been done as an example.
e.g. Icy road conditions
1.
caused
the accident
2.
__________________
3.
4.
5.
___________________________
___________
__________
EXERCISE 2
Read the following carefully:
CLIMATE
For the last hundred years the climate has been growing much warmer. This has had a number of different effects. Since the
beginning of the 20 th Century, glaciers have been melting very rapidly. For example, the Muir Glacier in Alaska has retreated 2 miles in 10
years. Secondly, rising temperatures have been causing the snowline to retreat on mountains all over the world. In Peru, for example, it has
risen as much as 2700 feet in years.
As a result of this, vegetation has also been changing. In Canada, the agricultural cropline has shifted 50 to 100 miles northward. In the
same way cool climate trees like birches and spruce have been dying over large areas of Eastern Canada. In Sweden the treeline has moved up
the mountains by as 65 feet since 1930.
The distribution of wildlife has also been effected many European animals moving northwards into Scandinavia. Since 1918, 25 new
species of birds have been seen in Greenland, and in the United States birds have moved their nests to the north.
Finally, the sea has been rising at a rapidly increasing rate, largely due, as was mentioned above, to the melting of glaciers. In the last 18
years it has risen by about 6 inches, which is about four times the average rate of rise over the last 9000 years.
Now look at the following cause and effect table. From the text above copy into the table where necessary the causes and effects
mentioned; also write, in the central column, the appropriate connective or marker of the cause/effect relationship. Where an example
(e.g.) is asked for, only write the first one if more than one is given in the text. The first section has been done as an example.
Table 1: Climate
Connective or Marker
Cause
The climate has been
growing much warmer
(different) effects
Effect
1. glassier have been melting
very rapidly, e.g. the Muir Glacier
in Alaska has retreated 2 miles in
10 years
2.
e.g.
3.
e.g.
4.
5.
(1) Look at the Table 2 carefully. Then do the exercise which follows.
1977
number of
accidents
Percentage rise
(+) or fall (-) over
1967
608
+10%
442
+8%
314
-5%
264
+50%
257
- 7%
174
-25%
e.g.
e.g.
Complete the following description of the information above. In the spaces of the paragraph write a suitable cause-effect connective.
Finally, turning right without due care _________________ 608 accident in 1977. Secondly, __________________ pedestrians crossed roads
carelessly, 442 accidents occurred. Next, although there was a 5% decrease in drivers failing to give a signal, nevertheless there were 314 accidents
______________ this. In 1977, 50% more drivers than in 1976 lost control of vehicles. ___________________ there were 264 accidents. In fifth
place came drivers improperly overtaking other vehicles: these ___________________ 257 accidents. Finally, there was a 25% fall in drivers
misjudging distance; however, they were still the ____________________174 accidents.
(1)Now write a description of Table 3 in a similar way to the previous exercise. Practise using different connectives but take care to use the correct
construction.
1979
number of
accidents
Percentage
rise (+) or fall
(-) over 1978
401
+9%
281
+12%
210
-10%
189
-6%
163
+15%
EXERCISE 3
(1)Look at the diagram below relating to poverty. Write a paragraph describing poverty and include
a definition of it in your description. Refer to some of the causes and effects of poverty.
EXERCISE 3
(1)Look at the diagram below relating to poverty. Write a paragraph describing poverty and include a definition of it in your description.
Refer to some of the causes and effects of poverty.
POVERTY
Causes
Low wages
Unemployment
Irregular employment
Death of the wage-earner
Large families
Illness
Old age
Drink
Gambling
Unwise spending
effects
(=the state of
being very poor)
inadequate
accommodation
insufficient food
inadequate clothing
insufficient heating
poor health
few opportunities,
amenities, possessions
or comforts
(1) Briefly describe the cause-effect relationship of part of tour own specialist subject or of some aspect of studies which you are familiar with.
Look carefully at the connectives or markers of cause-effect relationships shown below. Notice particularly how they are used in a sentence construction.
1. The
cause of
reason for
2. The
One
Result
effect
consequence
of an increase in demand is
higher prices.________
to
raise
prices.
increase
(4) Because
As
Since
*Now (that)
Therefore,
As a result,
consequence,
Accordingly,
Consequently,
Because of this,
Thus,
Hence,
For this reason,
* Now.
EFFECT
(8) When
If
causes
results in
leads to
produces
caused by
due to
because of
higher prices.
an increase in demand.
because of
an increase in demand.
as result of
on account of
owing to
through____________
because
there is
since
as_____________________________
because the demand has increased.
Proof-read and
edit your writing
Ensure your
handwriting is
legible
Consider the
purpose of your
writing
Use correct
spelling
Consider your
Writing
skills
Punctuate for
meaning
audience
Consider the
content
Body Paragraphs
Begin with a topic sentence
Explain, define, clarify the controlling ideas of the topic sentence with facts. example, physical
description, and/or personal experience
End with a concluding sentence that draws the paragraph together
Conclusion
May contain a brief summary; will also contain one or more of the following: a prediction, a
recommendation, or a solution
Diagram of an Essay
The Introduction
THE
INTROOUCTION
1.
2.
3.
The general statement(s) with which you begin Your Introduction should make
your audience interested in. your topic, and should lead logically to your
statement of thesis:
The purpose of the introduction is to introduce the topic to your audience and
to state the purpose of your essay in the thesis statement. The introduction:
The thesis may be a statement of opinion that you will explain and prove in the body paragraph of the essay.
Example:
serious health hazard
7.
in our
present a
The thesis may be a statement of intent that you will explain and illustrate in the body paragraphs of the essay.
Example:
is successful
of planting
A successful thesis statement results from selection, qualification. and specificity. For example, if you were assigned to write a 500-word
expository essay-an essay that explained something-you might choose the Koran as your subject. In order to reach a valid thesis for the essay,
you might go through the following process:
1. The Koran is wonderful. (The controlling idea is simply a judgment, and cannot be supported.)
1. The Koran is the perfect book for everyone. (Still too much generalization and judgment.)
2. The Koran is one of the best religious books in the world (Somewhat qualified, but still too general: best and worst are hard words to support.)
4. The Koran is one of the most important religious books in the world (Better: more qualified, more objective in language, but an additional
controlling idea would direct the essay more clearly.)
The Koran is one of the most important religious books in the world it is the basis for the life-style of million of people (Reasonable,
specific opinion that can be supported in an essay.) > (controlling ideas circled)
Examples of good introductions:
Vitamin D Deficiency
interesting
sentence
background
information
thesis
statement
of intent
Every schoolboy knows that vitamin D is the sunshine vitamin, and that
vitamin D is essential for good health. Until the twentieth century, however.
Little was known about this important vitamin, and people who lived in
temperate climates tended to suffer every winter from the lack of vitamin D.
Even today, although knowledge about vitamin D has been available for
more than fifty years, many people still suffer from vitamin D deficiencies.
This essay will describe the chemical makeup of vitamin D, the group of
diseases called rickets that afflict people who are deficient in this vitamin,
and solutions to avoid such deficiencies.
The Body
Almost all of the small towns in El Salvador are similar in their geography
and general appearance. In addition, many of the people who live in
these towns have a special lifestyle. In contrast to life in larger cities,
people in small towns share many things and all kinds of experiences.
This unusual sharing contributes to a familiar relationship among
neighbors.
THE BODY
The goal of each body paragraph is to state a topic sentence that is directly related to the thesis, and to support that topic sentence.
1. Each makes a point, a solid point that is enlarged into a block of support.
2. One point is made in each paragraph, and each paragraph is approximately 125 to 150 words (four to eight sentences).
3. Each paragraph is a self-contained, fully developed unit. Like the essay itself, every paragraph has three parts: the beginning, the middle, and the
end.
A. Beginning: Topic sentence that is directly connected to the thesis
B. Middle: Several sentences that explain and illustrate the topic sentence
C. End: A conclusion that draws together the point made in the paragraph
The Conclusion
THE
CONCLUSION
The conclusion borrows from everything that has gone before, summarizing without repeating exactly, suggesting. predicting. In so doing, it gives
the essay its final shape. and gives writers a single last chance to show that their thesis are valid.
thesis
statement
of opinion
topic
sentence
method
of
development
comparison
contrast
topic
sentence
method
of
development
comparison
contrast
summary
Recommendation
Historical events change childrens lifestyles. Some children lead carefree lives while others have not childhood at all. For
example. my mother spent her childhood when there was a war in my country. Poland, but I did not spend my childhood during
wartime. Therefore,
my mother childhood and mine were the opposite our schooling and
our activities after school show the dramatic differences in our lives.
My mother and I begin to study when we were seven years old, but we studied in different ways I begin to study
at a school close to my home. According to a law in my country. all children between the ages of seven and fifteen have to study
eight years in school. On my first day of school, I had many books. notebooks, and colored pencils in my backpack, all of them
bought for me by my parents. My backpack was heavy, but I was very proud of my "luggage;" all the people who saw me knew
that I was a student! I liked school because there were many children. When I had break between my classes, I played with my
classmates or I went to my favorite place, the big library. I was very excited by the books on the shelves, and I knew I could look
at them and read them. For me, a little girl. it was an inspiring experience. I liked to study, and the fact that I was studying in my
native language was not dangerous for me and my family. Why did I say "dangerous"? Because when my mother began to study,
studying in Polish could have been the cause of severe punishment for her and her family.
When my mother was seven years old. her father, who was a professor, told her: you are big girl now. You should know how
to read and write in Polish and also how to count. I will start teaching you how to do that. But remember you cannot talk about it
to anybody who is not a member of our family." On my mothers first day of school, she did not have special books, notebooks,
and colored pencils. She wrote on pieces of paper that my grandfather burned after she finished her work. She also did not have
library books, so she tried to read the newspapers that my grandfather kept at home. It was necessary for my mother to begin
studying this way because my country was occupied by the Germans. No Polish could exist at that time. Studying something in
Polish was illegal, and people who did it could be killed. My mother's "class" was small; it had only eight students, children from
my mother's neighborhood, and only one teacher, my grandfather. They studied while risking their lives.
Not only were my mothers and my schooling different but also our activities after school When I returned home
after school, dinner was usually ready and waiting for me. Sometimes I helped my mother and father when they were cooking.
That was very nice. Because while we were cooking, we talked about many things. After dinner, I did my home work, and when I
finished, I went to swim in the school swimming pool, or I went to the public library in my city, and I read books. I could do these
hobbies because I did not have to work. I only helped my mother take care of our home, but this activity was quite pleasant.
During the weekends ,I went with my parents to the sea, and I played with them and with other children. Sometimes we went to
the movie theater or to a museum. That was the way I spent my free time.
In contrast, my mother and her relatives lived near a German weapons factory, and they had to work at that factory. The work
was very hard, too hard for children. but children were treated in the same way as adults during the war. Working and illegal
studying were difficult for my mother, so she did not have much time for playing. Moreover, she knew that it could be very
dangerous to play outdoors because there were many German soldiers who sometimes shot at Polish children for fun. My mother
could not go with her parents to a movie theater or to a library because these places were closed during the war. In fact, she
seldom saw her parents together because they worked on different shifts in the German factory. Instead, she took care of her
younger brother and cooked dinner for the family. Her time was filled with work, either at home or at the German factory.
Although my mother and I lived in the same country, she was a child thirty years before me when there was war in the world.
Consequently, my mother learned too much about life as a little girl. As a child. I did not have to work hard, and I also did not
have much responsibility. My childhood was peaceful and safe. Both my mother and I agree that all children should live as I did
because childhood is usually the only time in life when people can be carefree and can live without problems.
facts
cause-effect
thesis statement
of opinion
and intent
I. Introduction
A. Separation of Korean kin between South Korea and North Korea
since the Korean war
B . Movement of Korean kin toward reunion in South Korea
C. Many Korean people eagerly desire the reunion of their divided
families.
controlling
ideas
facts,
physical
description
paragraph
hook
facts,
samples
paragraph
hook
controlling
ideas
fact,
example
physical
description
summary
recommendation
Prediction
REFERENCES
Alisyahbana,S.T. 1990. The teaching of English in Indonesia, in Britton J Shafer R.E. al1d Watson K (
eds ), Teaching and Learning English Word wide. Clevedon : Multilingal Matters
Ltd.
A Zar, B 1981. Understanding and Using English Grammar. Prentice Hall New
Jersey
Reid, J.,