Günter Grass

ta l e s

from

ADVANCE READING COPY the

NO T FOR RESALE
darkroom
The Box
ta l e s f r o m t h e
da r k ro o m

Günter Grass

Translated from the German

by Krishna Winston

houg hto n mifflin harc o u rt

boston new york
2010
 First U.S. edition

Copyright © 2010 by Günter Grass

Translation copyright © 2010 by Krishna Winston

Originally published in German as Die Box, by Steidl Verlag, Göttingen, 2008

a l l r igh t s r es e rv e d

For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book,

write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company,
215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.

www.hmhbooks.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Grass, Günter, date.
The box : tales from the darkroom / Günter Grass ; translated
from the German by Krishna Winston. — 1st U.S. ed.
p. cm.
isbn 978-0-547-24503-4
1. Photography — Fiction. 2. Domestic fiction. I. Winston, Krishna.
II. Title.
pt2613.r338b6913 2010
833'.914 — dc22 2010008479

Book design by Brian Moore

Printed in the United States of America

doc 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
 Leftovers

O nce upon a time there was a father, who, hav-

ing grown old in years, called together his sons and
daughters — four, five, six, eight in all. For a long
time they resisted, but in the end they granted his wish.
Now they are seated around a table and all begin to talk at
once, all products of their father’s whimsy, using words he
has put in their mouths, yet obstinate, too, determined not
to spare his feelings despite their love for him. They are still
batting around the question: Who’s going to start?
The first to come along were two-egged twins. For the
purposes of this story they will be called Patrick and Georg,
nicknamed Pat and Jorsch, though their real names are dif-
ferent. Then a girl arrived to gladden her parents’ hearts;
she will answer to Lara. These three children enriched our
 2 • the box

overpopulated world at a time when the Pill was not yet

available, before contraception became the norm and fami-
lies were planned. Not surprisingly, another child arrived to
join the others, unbidden, a gift of capricious chance. The
name given him is Thaddeus, but all those seated around
the table call him Taddel: Quit your clowning, Taddel! Don’t
trip on your shoelaces, Taddel! Come on, Taddel, let’s hear
you do your Clueless Rudi number again!
Although grown-up now, with jobs and families of their
own, the daughters and sons speak as if bent on regressing,
as if they could capture and hold fast the shadowy outlines
of the past, as if time could stand still, as if childhood never
ended.
From the table, distracted glances can be cast out the
window at the rolling landscape to either side of the Elbe-
Trave Canal, lined with poplars, trees that are condemned
to be cut down in the near future, having been officially
categorized as a nonnative species.
In a large pot a hearty stew is steaming, lentils with lamb
chops, which the father has set on a low flame to simmer
invitingly and seasoned with marjoram. That is how it has
always been: father loves to cook for a crowd. Being the pro-
vider is what he calls this tendency toward epic generosity.
Wielding his ladle equitably, he fills bowl after bowl, each
time murmuring one of his sayings, such as Don’t forget
that the biblical Esau sold his birthright for a mess of len-
tils. After the meal he will withdraw to his studio, there to
plunge back in time, or he may sit on the garden bench with
his wife.
Outdoors, spring has come. Indoors, the heat is still on.
 leftovers • 3

Once they have spooned up their lentils, the siblings can

choose between bottled beer and unfiltered cider. Lara
has brought along photos, which she is trying to organize.
Something is still missing: Georg, who answers to Jorsch
and has professional training in such matters, hooks up the
table microphones, because the father insists on having ev-
erything recorded. Jorsch asks the others to test the mikes,
and finally declares himself satisfied. From now on, the
children have the floor.

You start, Pat! You’re the eldest.

You showed up a good ten minutes before Jorsch.
Oh, all right, whatever. For a long time it was only us. To
my mind, four would’ve been plenty, especially since no one
thought to ask us whether we wanted to be more than two,
three, then four. Even when it was just us twins, we took
turns feeling that there were too many of us.
And later on, Lara, all you wanted was a puppy; I’m sure
you would’ve been perfectly content to be the last daugh-
ter.
Which I was, for years, though at times I did long for
a little sister, as well as a puppy. Then one actually came
along, as not much was happening between our mother and
our father, and — I assume — he needed someone else, as in
fact she found someone else.
And because he and the new woman wanted something
they could share and decided they could dispense with the
Pill, they had you, another girl, named after father’s mother,
but now you want to chime in as Lena, the name you’ve
picked for yourself.
 4 • the box

No, there’s no rush. You two go first. I can wait. That’s

something I’ve had to learn. I’ll get my time in the lime-
light.
Pat and Jorsch were almost sixteen, I was thirteen, and
Taddel was about nine when we had to get used to a little
sister.
And to having your mother around, too, who brought
more children, two more girls.
But because our father was still restless, he ran out on his
new woman, and that left him at loose ends with the book
he was working on, and he would crash wherever he could
to type away on his Olivetti.
And while he was roaming, another woman presented
him with a girl.
Our beloved Nana.
Whom sadly we didn’t get to see till later, much later.
The king’s youngest daughter . . .
Make fun of me if you will! But instead of my real name,
I want the name of that doll whose life my papa once de-
scribed in a long poem in doggerel that begins . . .
At any rate, you stayed the youngest. And not long after
that father finally settled down, with yet another woman.
She brought along you two boys, both younger than Taddel.
We’ve decided to call you Jasper and Paul.
Shouldn’t you ask them whether they even like those
names?
No problem.
Our real names are completely different, of course . . .
. . . as are yours.
You were older than Lena and much older than Nana,
 leftovers • 5

but family-wise you fit in, so from then on there were eight
of us. Take a look at these pictures — I brought them along
especially — here we are, either singly or in various group-
ings, or here — much later — all of us together . . .
. . . getting bigger and bigger. Here I am, and look at
Jorsch’s hair, short, then long, and in this one he’s making
faces . . .
. . . or me putting on a show for the camera, looking
bored.
Here’s Lara nuzzling her guinea pig.
And there’s Taddel moping around in front of the house
with his shoelaces trailing.
There’s Lena, looking sad.
I bet you’d find pictures exactly like these in most family
photo albums. Ordinary snapshots.
Maybe so, Taddel. But sadly, a lot of photos that were
anything but ordinary disappeared at some point, and it’s a
real pity, because . . .
For instance, the photos of Lara’s dog.
Or all the shots of me sailing through the air between my
papa and my mama on the flying swings, which was some-
thing I always secretly wished for. Such a treat.
Or the photo with Taddel’s guardian angel.
Or the series showing Paulchen on crutches.
The fact is, all the ordinary pictures, as well as the ones
that disappeared, were taken by good old Marie, because she
was the only one who . . .
Let me be the one to talk about Mariechen. It began like
a fairy tale. Once upon a time there was a photographer.
Some called her good old Marie, Taddel called her dear
 6 • the box

old Marie, but I called her Mariechen. She was part of our
patchwork family from the very beginning. Marie was al-
ways there, first when we lived in the city, then with you
out in the country, also in various places where we went for
the holidays, because she clung to father like a burr — that’s
how she was — and possibly . . .
But also to us, because whenever we wished for some-
thing . . .
That’s what I’m saying. From the start, when we were
only two, then three, then four, she took photos of us or
snapped us, whenever father said, Snap away, Marie!
And when she was in a lousy mood — and she could be
moody — she’d say, That’s all I am, your snap-away-Marie!
But it wasn’t just us children she’d snap. She took on
father’s women, one after the other: first our mama, who
looks in every picture as if she’s about to leap and pirouette,
then Lena’s mother, who always has a pained expression,
then the next one, Nana’s mother, who’s forever laughing at
god only knows what, and then the last of the four women,
Jasper and Paulchen’s mother, whose ringlets are often flut-
tering in the wind . . .
And in whose arms our father finally found peace.
But even if a group portrait with his four strong women
was something he wished for — and I have to agree with
Jorsch: a picture of him as a pasha surrounded by his harem
must have been high on his wish list — Mariechen insisted
on taking them on one at a time. Look here: each in her
proper place in the sequence.
But when it came to us, she snapped pictures as if we’d
 leftovers • 7

tumbled out of a dice cup. That’s why we have all these

photos spread out on the table here, which we can arrange
and rearrange — hey there, Nana, stop fooling around with
the mike.
But father also wants us to remember all the snapshots
that have gone missing, the images Mariechen created of us
once she disappeared with those rolls of film into her dark-
room.
You need to be more precise, Pat: she took photographs
with the Leica, and sometimes with the Hasselblad, but the
snapshots were all taken with the box. It was the box, noth-
ing but the box, with which she hunted for images father
could use to stoke his imagination. And there was some-
thing special about that box, even though it was just an old-
fashioned box camera, manufactured by Agfa, which also
supplied the rolls of Isochrom B2.
Whether it was the Hasselblad, the Leica, or the box, she
always had a camera dangling around her neck.
They all belonged to my Hans, old Marie would explain
to anyone who admired her cameras. More than those he
didn’t need.
But only Pat and Jorsch remember what her Hans looked
like. You, Pat, said he was a stocky guy with a knobby fore-
head. And you, Jorsch, said he always had a cigarette dan-
gling from his lower lip.
The two of them had their attic studio on the Kurfürsten-
damm, between Bleibtreustrasse and Uhland. They special-
ized in studio portraits of actors and long-legged ballerinas.
But also fat vice presidents from Siemens, complete with
 8 • the box

wives wearing massive rocks around their necks. And then

the brats of filthy-rich folks from Dahlem and Zehlendorf.
In their expensive gear, they sat at a slight angle to a back-
drop, grinning idiotically or trying to look serious.
Marie was responsible for all the technical stuff — set-
ting up special lights and anything else that had to be done:
developing the film, making copies and enlargements, re-
touching photos to eliminate warts, pimples, lines and
wrinkles, double chins, freckles, hairs sprouting on noses.
All in black and white.
Color didn’t exist for her Hans.
For him, there were only shades of gray.
We were young in those days, but I can still hear her say-
ing, when she was in the mood, I was the only one who
learned all that stuff from the ground up. Even so, my
Hans, who was self-taught, was the one who got to shoot all
those folks . . . The darkroom was my department. My Hans
hadn’t a clue.
Sometimes she’d talk about her apprenticeship in Allen-
stein. She didn’t waste words . . .
. . . that’s a village in the Masurian part of East Prussia,
father explained.
In Polish it’s called Olsztyn now.
That’s far off in my freezing homeland, Marie always
said, way out east. All gone to the dogs.
Father and mother were very chummy with Hans and
Mariechen. They used to sit around drinking a lot and
laughing loudly, usually till late at night, telling stories
from long ago, when they were young.
Hans also took pictures of father and mother, in front of
 leftovers • 9

a white screen. Always with the Hasselblad or the Leica,

never with the Agfa Box No. 54, which was also called
Box I and was a huge hit when it first came on the market,
till Agfa brought out other models, for instance the Agfa
Special with a meniscus lens and . . .
When Hans died unexpectedly, he was buried in the
Grove Cemetery in Zehlendorf.
I still remember it. They wouldn’t let a priest come and
speak, but lots of birds were singing.
The sun was shining right in our eyes. Jorsch and I stood
on mother’s left, and she stood next to Mariechen. Father
was the only one who spoke, over the open grave, about his
friend Hans, the black-and-white photographer, and how
he’d promised to look after Mariechen, and not only finan-
cially.
He spoke softly at first, then louder.
And finally father reeled off the names of all the brands
of schnapps his friend Hans had enjoyed.
As you can imagine, the men who’d rolled the coffin out of
the chapel and then carried it to the grave — there were four
of them, I think — where they lowered it on ropes, worked
up quite a thirst as father listed every brand of schnapps,
pausing after each one.
That must have sounded pretty solemn.
Like an incantation.
We were squirming; there seemed to be no end in sight.
Let’s see if I can remember some of them: Pflümli,
Himbeergeist, Mirabell, Moselhefe, or something like that.
One was called Zibärtle — that’s from the Black Forest,
near where I live.
 10 • the box

Kirschwasser was another.

It must have been sometime after the Wall went up. We
twins were just six then, and you were only two, Lara. You
wouldn’t remember a thing.
And you weren’t even conceived, Taddel.
It must have been in the fall. Mushrooms everywhere.
Under the trees in the cemetery. Growing singly and in
clumps. In the underbrush. Behind gravestones. Father’s al-
ways been crazy about mushrooms and prides himself on
knowing every variety. On the way back from the funeral
he scooped up all the ones he thought edible.
Filled his hat, as I recall.
And made a pouch out of his handkerchief.
At home we had them with scrambled eggs.
As a funeral repast, he’s supposed to have said.
At the time of Hans’s funeral, we were still living on
Karlsbader Strasse, in a semi-ruin, left over after the bomb-
ing.
But when Mariechen found herself all alone in that big
studio, she didn’t know what to do. Not till father talked
her around — he is good at that — did she start taking pic-
tures for him, first with the Leica, then with the Hasselblad,
and eventually with the box, almost exclusively with the
box: particular items and objects, like the shells he brought
back from his travels, also broken dolls, bent nails, the bare
stone wall of a building, snail shells, spiders in their webs,
squashed frogs, even dead pigeons that Jorsch dragged
home.
And later on, fish at the outdoor market in Friedenau . . .
Also heads of cabbage sliced in half . . .
 leftovers • 11

She started snapping those pictures for him while we

were still living on Karlsbader Strasse.
Right. It began when father had that book about dogs and
scarecrows in the works. It was far from being finished, but
he eventually made so much money from it that he could
buy that clinker-brick house in Friedenau for us.
And then old Marie visited us there on Niedstrasse to
snap pictures of all kinds of things for him . . .
. . . and of us kids. As we got bigger, she lined us up in
front of her magic wish box. And for me, only for me, when
my guinea pig started getting fatter and fatter, she . . .
That was later, Lara. Jorsch and I come first, because
we . . .
I can still see her standing in front of the half-ruined
building with her shoulders hunched, the box at waist
height, her head bent, as if she were peering into the
finder.
But she always shot by feel, often looking in a different
direction entirely.
And she had this weird haircut. A bob, father called it.
She looked like a young girl with wrinkles, scrawny and
flat-chested. And the box, which hung on a strap, and which
she used to . . .
Come on, Pat, you need to be more specific. Let’s get the
facts straight first. The Agfa box came on the market in
nineteen thirty, but it wasn’t the first box camera. Naturally,
the Americans had one even before nineteen hundred, the
Brownie, which Eastman Kodak sold en masse. But Agfa
introduced the six-by-nine format that was later picked up
by Zeiss-Ikon’s Tengor and Eho’s so-called People’s Camera.
 12 • the box

The Agfa box was the first camera bought by ordinary

Germans, when its slogan Get more out of life with pho-
tography . . .
That’s what I was about to say. It was that very box, which
Mariechen was given by an uncle or aunt when she was still
a young thing and had just started, or maybe just finished,
her apprenticeship back in Allenstein.
And that Agfa box came with two rolls of Isochrom
and a beginner’s instruction booklet, all for sixteen reichs-
marks — I looked it up.
And that was the same box she used later to snap pictures
of you, Taddel, burying Jorsch’s Matchbox cars in the sand-
box, and then of my guinea pig when she was . . .
But mostly the two of us, doing flips on the horizontal bar
behind the house.
She also snapped pictures of our father on the bar, because
when friends came over he always wanted to demonstrate
that gymnastics-wise he could pull off an upward circle or
sometimes even a full circle with the best of them.
But much later, when Mariechen took pictures of me,
though sadly that didn’t happen often, she was completely
unobtrusive. She would stand off to one side, looking some-
how lost, skinny as she was. She seemed alone, not mourn-
ful, exactly, which theoretically would have been under-
standable, more like absent. I’m just a leftover, she told me
when she came with my papa, my mother, and me to the
Franco-German folk festival in Tegel, where we rode the
flying swings, soaring through the air. Such a treat.
Exactly, Nana. She said the same thing about her Agfa
 leftovers • 13

box, which looked battered, its corners all dented: This is

the only thing left over from all the stuff my Hans and I
had, and that’s why it means so much to me.
When we asked her, What are you left over from? she
would always bring up the war.
Not her Hans’s experiences in the war, only the things she
considered important. My Hans, she told our father, didn’t
get home often, except when he had leave or was traveling
on assignment. He must have seen awful things at the front.
In the east, I mean, and everywhere. Indescribable. Oh dear,
oh dear, oh dear.
Her studio must have been somewhere else at the time,
still on the Kudamm, but more out toward Halensee.
Father got to hear a long story about that, and Pat and I
eavesdropped: Toward the end there, we were bombed out.
A good thing my Hans was off at the front and had the
Leica and the Hasselblad with him. Not a thing left. The
whole kit and caboodle burned to a crisp, while down in the
cellar I . . .
Our entire collection of negatives just melted. Nothing
left of the lights but scrap. Only the box survived, who
knows why. Just singed a bit, especially the leather case it
came in.
And then she added, My box takes pictures of things that
aren’t there. And it sees things that weren’t there. Or shows
things you’d never in your wildest dreams imagine. It’s all-
seeing, my box. Must be a result of the fire. It’s acted crazy
ever since.
Sometimes she’d say, That’s how it is, children, when
 14 • the box

you’re left over. You hang around with some screws loose.
We never knew just who or what had screws loose. She or
the box, or both.
As for the Hasselblad and the Leica, father told me what
happened to them — he’d heard the story several times: My
Hans managed to get them through the war. Even though
he was a soldier, he never had to fire a gun, just took pic-
tures at the front. That’s what he came back with. He also
had unused rolls of film, a whole knapsack full. Those were
our capital after the war. That’s how we got started the min-
ute we heard: Peace is here, finally.
In the beginning her Hans photographed only the occu-
pation forces, mostly Amis, also an English colonel.
Then even a French general sought them out. He paid
with a bottle of cognac.
And one time three Russkies made their way up the stairs.
With vodka, of course.
The Amis brought cigarettes.
And the Tommies gave them tea and corned beef.
And Mariechen told us one time, No, no, children, we
never used the box to snap pictures of the occupation sol-
diers. My Hans used only the Leica, and sometimes the
Hasselblad. To him the box was a reminder of before,
when the two of us still had fun together. Besides — but you
know this — it has some screws loose, the box. Only when
my brother — Jorsch, I mean — refused to let the subject
drop . . .
Right, I wanted to know what the deal was . . .
. . . and asked, What does that mean, has some screws
loose? she promised, One of these days I’ll show you boys
 leftovers • 15

what happens when you’re left over, have screws loose, and
see things that aren’t there, or aren’t there yet. Besides, you
two are still too little and too fresh, and don’t believe the
things my box spits out when it’s having a good day. It has
seen things ahead of time, ever since it survived the fire.
When we went with father to visit her, the two would
start whispering the minute she emerged from her dark-
room.
She’d send us out on the balcony or give us empty film
canisters to play with.
The two of them never told us what was going on, just
dropped hints, acting all mysterious. Still, we could guess it
always had something to do with that long book of father’s,
with dogs and mechanical scarecrows. When it was finished,
the cover had a hand forming a shadow that looked like a
dog’s head.
But when we asked him about Mariechen’s photos, all
father said was, You’re not old enough to understand. And
to mother he said, It’s probably because she comes from
Masuria. What our Mariechen sees is far more than we or-
dinary mortals can see.
And it wasn’t till then, but before he’d finished typing his
Dog Years, that you came along, Lara.
On a Sunday, no less.
Now we finally get to hear about the guinea pig . . .
Hold on, Nana, we aren’t done yet.
Somehow our little sister wasn’t exactly what we’d ex-
pected.
Even before she learned to walk, Lara would only smile
tentatively, as father put it.
 16 • the box

That hasn’t changed.

And then, once she was walking, she’d always veer off to
one side — right, Jorsch?
Or you trailed along behind us, never raced on ahead.
Whenever father or mother wanted to take you by the
hand, when we went for a Sunday stroll from Roseneck to
the Grunewald, you’d clasp your hands behind your back.
And you didn’t laugh properly till later, when you got a
guinea pig, and then only when the guinea pig squeaked.
You could even imitate the squeaking.
I still can. Want to hear?
And because our Lara never smiled for the camera, good
old Marie snapped picture after picture of her.
First on Karlsbader Strasse, then in Friedenau, on the
swing in back of the house, or at the table, with her empty
dessert plate in front of her . . .
And again and again with her guinea pig.
Then one time you let her play with the neighbors’ guinea
pigs, and one of them must have been a male, because be-
fore we knew it . . .
That was what I’d been longing for. See, when Taddel
came along, and turned out to be a little devil, and there
I was, stuck between three brothers, and all I heard was
Taddel this and Taddel that, because you were so-o-o lit-
tle and so-o-o darling, and no matter what got broken, it
was never your fault — shut up, Taddel, my turn! — well,
Mariechen took pity on me, and with that old-fashioned
box of hers snapped pictures for me, pictures of my guinea
pig as her belly got rounder and rounder. She’d shoot an
 leftovers • 17

entire roll, again and again. And I was the only one she
showed the pictures to, not the rest of you. Now that made
me laugh. But none of you — not you twins, and certainly
not you, Taddel — would believe me when I told you what
was in those little pictures she conjured up in her dark-
room. I’m not kidding: in each one you could plainly make
out three adorable newborn guinea pigs. So sweet, nursing
from their mother. The box could predict such things — that
there’d be exactly three. And when they were born, it actu-
ally was a litter of three. One more adorable than the next.
No, all equally adorable. But I hid those photos. Now I had
four guinea pigs. That was too many, of course, so I had to
give two of them away. By then I was secretly wishing for
a puppy — because guinea pigs aren’t really that interesting.
All they do is guinea-pig stuff, eating and squeaking, which
stops being fun after a while. But the rest of the family were
against a puppy. A dog in the city, where it has no room to
run free — what good is that? mama said. Our father didn’t
really mind, but he delivered one of his pronouncements:
There are already more than enough dogs in Berlin. Marie
was the only one in favor. So one day, when all the others
were busy in the house, she took pictures of me under the
apple tree, muttering under her breath old-fashioned words
like balsam and salve and emollient. Then she whispered,
Make a wish, little Lara, wish for something nice! And
when she showed me the pictures a few days later — there
were eight — each picture had a tousled puppy in it, sitting
on my left or my right, jumping on me, begging, licking,
offering me its paw, or giving me a kiss. It had a curly little
 18 • the box

tail and was clearly a mutt, just like Joggi, when I got him a
few years later. But this is our little darkroom secret, Marie
said, and she kept all the photos, because, as she said, No
bugger will ever believe us.
That’s not true — we all believed . . .
You, Taddel, were the only one who didn’t, in the begin-
ning . . .
You thought we were off our rockers.
So did you, Jasper, at least at first . . .
. . . but then you had to believe it, when that business
with you and your pal turned out to be true.
Do you have to bring that up, Paulchen?
But when Lena and I joined the family much later, we
never doubted your Mariechen for a moment, because
sometimes she could fulfill our secret wishes, just as she did
for you — I mean, we both wished we could have our papa
all to ourselves, not just now and then.
Okay, okay, but no one has any proof . . .
That’s how I see it, too, Jasper. And to this day I don’t
understand how I could believe all that stuff as a child and
be convinced I’d really seen it. But now that my own little
daughter has her heart set on a puppy, just as I did, I’d love
to have the kind of wishing box good old Marie had, a box
that acts totally crazy when everything around it seems in-
furiatingly rational. But when my Joggi — first in the photos
and then in reality . . .
. . . he wasn’t exactly pedigreed.
. . . more like your typical mutt.
. . . and ugly as sin . . .
. . . but still a very special little dog. Everyone acknowl-
 leftovers • 19

edged that, even you boys sometimes. When you weren’t

quarreling. And then there was you, Taddel. No wonder I
got in the habit of whining, squeezed in between you boys.
You called me Squeezebox. Supposedly father called me his
Little Squeezebox one time, probably when I needed cheer-
ing up. But only my Joggi could really cheer me up. He
was a smart little dog, and funny, too. It made me laugh
when he tilted his head to one side and smiled. He was also
perfectly housebroken, and always looked left and right to
check whether cars were coming when he was crossing the
street. I taught him that, so he’d know what to do in traffic.
Joggi obeyed beautifully. Except that sometimes he’d dis-
appear for hours at a time, gallivanting, you boys called it;
that was a habit I couldn’t break him of. Not every day, but
about twice a week he’d take off. Sometimes on a Sunday.
And no one knew where he was till Marie got on his case.
We’ll figure it out, my little Lara, she would say. And when
Joggi came back from one of his outings, tilted his head
as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth, and smiled, she
planted herself in front of him and snapped pictures with
her box. Usually standing, sometimes kneeling. Click, click,
in quick succession. Now I’m going to lock you in the dark-
room! she exclaimed whenever she finished a roll. And sure
enough, the very next day Marie brought me, and only me,
the prints: eight little photos that showed my Joggi trotting
along Niedstrasse, disappearing down the subway steps on
Friedrich-Wilhelm-Platz, then sitting quietly on the plat-
form between an old woman and some guy, then jumping
into an open subway car, his curly tail waving. There he
was, surrounded by total strangers, wagging his tail, offer-
 20 • the box

ing his paw, letting people pet him, even smiling, I swear.
Next you could see him leaving the train at Hansaplatz,
running up one staircase and down another, then sitting
calmly on the opposite platform, looking to the left till the
train to Steglitz came along and he jumped on. In the last
photo you could see Joggi back on Niedstrasse. He was in
no hurry to get home. He dilly-dallied along fences, sniffed
every tree, raised one hind leg. It goes without saying that
I didn’t show those pictures to anyone, certainly not to you
boys. But when our father or mother would ask, Where’s
your Joggi? Off roaming again? I didn’t lie: Joggi likes to
ride the subway. Recently he changed trains at Zoo station,
on his way to Neukölln, no doubt. Maybe he has a crush on
a female there. He’s been as far out as Tegel, too. He often
goes all the way to the Südstern, changing trains along the
way, to stroll along Hasenheide, because it’s an area with
lots of dogs. Who knows what little adventures my Joggi has
on his excursions. He’s a typical city dog. Last week he was
in Kreuzberg, running along the Wall as if he was looking
for a hole where he could slip into the East for a while . . .
I’m just as curious as you are to know what he’s up to. He
always finds his way home, though. But no one was willing
to believe me, least of all you boys.
We’ve heard that story before.
Still sounds crazy to me.
Father told me at the time, Anything’s possible, consider-
ing the shock the box received during the war when it was
the only thing left over, the only thing . . .
And when we rode the flying swings together, my papa
 leftovers • 21

would say, Just wait and see, Nana, everything will be fine
someday, when we’re together.
Our father certainly knows how to spin a tale.
And afterward you never know what’s really true.
Well, let’s let Paulchen explain what was going on with
the box, and what was totally made up.
When you were in the darkroom with her, you must’ve
witnessed all her tricks.
She told us you were her assistant.
Right up to the end, too.
Here’s all I know: whatever Marie caught with her Agfa
showed up exactly in the prints. There was no hocus-pocus,
however crazy it may have seemed.
That’s what I was saying, just like Paulchen: Joggi looked
perfectly normal taking the subway. He’d go pretty far
afield, changing trains several times. Only once he got off
at a station nearby, at Spichernstrasse, because he wanted
to follow a female — a poodle, I think it was. But the poodle
had other ideas . . .

And Joggi had more tricks, but enough of that for now. Once
the father has crossed out a few words, toning down an ex-
pression here, making another more pointed there, further
details occur to him in connection with Marie and her box.
The way she often stood off to one side with a bleak ex-
pression. The way she would stare at something as if she
were drilling holes in it. That was why she seemed alone
even with other people around. Before she disappeared into
her darkroom, you would hear her hissing under her breath:
 22 • the box

curt curses, lengthy invocations of her dead Hans, Masurian

endearments.
And he sees a rapid succession of images, each one oblit-
erating the one before it, of Marie standing, her feet close
together, or snapping her long-ago shots, click, click, from
a crouching position: childlike wishes, obsessive anxieties,
but also postscripted and prefigured scenes from the par-
ents’ marriage.
That is not what the daughters want to discuss, however,
or the sons either; they were not allowed to see these things.
It would have embarrassed them to view an entire roll of
film showing their mother angrily smashing one wine glass
after another while their father looked on in dismay; shards
of glass behind the party tent, right after the dancing, be-
cause even then, just as many years later . . . That was how
all-seeing the box was.