Partnerships with Families and

Communities
Creating effective partnerships between schools, parents, and communities isn’t just a nice idea.
It’s a necessity. Davies, 2000

Partnerships in education build bridges between families, communities, and schools. As children
interact with the people, places and things associated with the family, the immediate community,
and beyond, they extend their horizons to develop the attitudes, skills, and knowledge they need to
become effective citizens.

In order to provide the best possible education, schools must

partner with families and communities. True partnerships are
based on mutual respect. Teachers respect and value parents’
knowledge and insights about their children. Parents respect
and value teachers’ knowledge and insights about the learning
process and understanding children’s educational needs. In a
school-family-community partnership, all members of the
community recognize changing family needs in order to raise
children in an environment that provides the conditions for
health, safety, and learning.

Every adult has a stake in the education and welfare of children. It is essential for adults to build
bridges in order to work together so children are healthy and safe. It is important to provide children
with a rich and supportive learning environment. Schools, families, and community members must
recognize these common goals and work together for the sake of children.

How to Build Partnerships that Work: Davies’ Three Basic Principles

Successful partnerships are based on reciprocity. This means that all those involved in the partnership—
school, family, and community—have overlapping responsibilities for children’s learning. Each needs the
help of the others in formal and informal structures.
Developing effective partnerships is a democratic process. Partnerships should recognize the different
interests, races, religions, and educational status of its participants, and should be prepared to resolve conflicts
through the democratic processes of mediation, negotiation, and compromise.
Effective partnerships provide a variety of opportunities. A comprehensive program of partnerships will
include such elements as parent education, family support, volunteer activities, good communication,
opportunities to participate in decision making, and strategies that foster children’s learning at home and in
the community.
From: Davies, D. (2000). How to build partnerships that work. Principal 80(1)

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School-Family-Community Partnerships
A family-centered perspective is essential to the success of the school-family-community
partnership. The importance of involving parents in the education of their children cannot be
overestimated. Teachers must always remember that parents are the child’s first teachers and that a
partnership between home and school benefits children, families, and teachers alike.

The unique cultural, ethnic, and language aspects of each community, as well as its rural or urban
nature, offer both opportunities and challenges for establishing responsive partnerships. Teachers
and administrators must not assume that a lack of parental involvement means non-caring. They
must work to understand the barriers that keep some parents from being more involved in their
child’s education.

Family-friendly schools must reach out to parents and the community to develop multiple ways to
work together so everyone benefits and feels valued. Davies (2000) offers five recommendations to
help principals build partnerships with families and the community:

Five Recommendations

Look first to your teachers. Teachers are the most important link in the success of any partnership
effort. They can provide guidance for families on setting realistic expectations, monitoring and helping
with homework. And selecting appropriate books and learning materials. Unfortunately, many
partnerships are developed with little or no teacher input. Instead, teachers are told to “just do it,”
which can doom the effort from the start.

Principals should seek teacher input and encourage teachers to develop their own learn-at-home
materials for parents to use. Because parent-teacher conferences have been proven to be an effective
way to build trust and cooperation among the partners, they should be held at least twice a year, last at
least a half-hour, and focus on student work. The fleeting teacher-parent conferences traditionally held
during open houses don’t contribute much.

Make your school family-friendly. There is good evidence that schools that are friendly and
welcoming to family members have an easier time creating successful partnership programs. Here are
some ways schools can create a family-friendly environment:
ƒ Establish a parent or family center within the school
ƒ Offer good, frequent, and user-friendly communication
ƒ Provide good after-school programs that involve parents and community organizations
ƒ Organize social activities for teachers and families
ƒ Provide parent education and family literacy programs
ƒ Have programs that link families to needed health and social services

Obviously, these programs will be more successful if they are accompanied by a friendly and
respectful attitude that can be communicated in many different ways; smiles, pleasant greetings, signs
and decorations that recognize the different languages and cultures in the community; and a clean,
bright, and inviting ambiance.

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Reach into your community. If educational equity is the goal, then school and parent leaders must
reach out to those in the community who are considered hard to reach. Here are three practical ideas
suggestions:
ƒ Train volunteer parents and community residents to visit families at home, where they can provide
information about school programs and services, offer ideas about how to help children study at
home, answer questions, and respond to requests.
ƒ Go where the people are. Reach out to parents and other family members in community settings
supermarkets, hairdressers, churches, mosques, fast food restaurants, social service agencies, and
health clinics. In these informal settings, it may be easier to talk to them and listen to their
concerns.
ƒ Work with health and social service agencies. This means making information and services more
accessible by offering them at the school, an agency, or a convenient community setting.

Seek increased responsibility by families. For any school-family-community partnership to be

successful, all three must be accountable. But all families sometimes need help, and many who live in
poverty or in unstable settings need more help than others. Principals don’t have to be social workers
to help these families meet their child-rearing responsibilities. By engaging the help of public and
private community agencies and organizations, religious institutions, and employers, the school can
work within the community to offer supports and strengthen the ability of families to do the right thing
by their children.

Understand that a partnership is a two-way

street. School success and community success are
linked. Schools reflect their communities and vice
versa. Principals can take the lead in connecting
education with the community’s economic and
social development. In this regard, schools and their
staffs have much to offer to the community: access
to physical facilities, such as computer labs, gyms,
meeting rooms, and playgrounds; access to the
expertise, talents, and skills of teachers and
administrators; students who serve the community
through service projects; and training in computer
and Internet use for community members.

Schools also are employers, who can hire local residents, and purchasers, who can buy from local
merchants. They also are neighbors who can join neighborhood projects such as crime watches,
cleanup campaigns, neighborhood gardens, food banks, and cooperative purchasing. Partnerships work
best when the relationship represents an exchange of benefits between schools and community
organizations.

For schools to really close the educational gap, they need to develop partnerships and implement
programs that are carefully designed, with input from all affected groups, that are consistent with the
principles outlined above, and faithfully executed. With strong leadership from the principal, this
prescription can produce successful partnerships that will change the culture of the school, benefit all
participants, and help all students achieve at higher levels.

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Six Types of School-Family-Community Involvement
Based on her research identifying six types of school-family-community involvement, Joyce Epstein
has developed a framework to assist the development of partnerships and strengthen support for
learning. Schools may use the framework to guide their decisions about practices that will help
achieve goals and meet the needs of students and families. Each type presents unique opportunities
and challenges for expanding the ways schools, families, and communities work together.

ƒ Parenting
ƒ Communicating
ƒ Volunteering
ƒ Learning at home
ƒ Decision-making
ƒ Collaborating with the community

Parenting
Schools provide assistance to families in relation to
families’ basic obligations to:
ƒ Ensure children’s health and safety
ƒ Acquire parenting and child-rearing skills based
on understanding child development.
ƒ Supervise and provide guidance for children at
each age level.
ƒ Provide positive home conditions that encourage
learning and appropriate behavior in school.

Communicating
Schools have a basic obligation to:
ƒ Communicate about the Primary Program.
ƒ Communicate children’s progress.
ƒ Communicate in a variety of formats such as memos, reports, conferences, telephone calls,
newsletters, informal conversations, e-mail, and websites.
ƒ Communicate frequently so information is timely and in a language understood by all parents.
ƒ Provide oral and written translation in other languages, as needed, to reach all parents.
ƒ Encourage parents to communicate openly to share information and express concerns.

Volunteering
Families help schools when they:
ƒ Volunteer to assist teachers, administrators, and children in the classroom or other areas.
ƒ Come to school to support children’s participation in the arts and other school events.
ƒ Attend school workshops and other programs for their own training and education.
Schools encourage volunteerism when they:
ƒ Create flexible schedules and multiple ways for parents to volunteer.
ƒ Match talents and interests of parents to needs of students and teachers.

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Learning at Home
Parents support schools and children’s learning at
Parent involvement is the participation of parents
home when they: in every facet of the education and development
ƒ Encourage and model positive attitudes toward of children, from birth to adulthood…Parent
learning and the school. involvement takes many forms, including the
ƒ Provide support for learning that is responsive parent’s shared responsibilities in decisions
to children’s needs and interests. about children’s education, health and well-
being, as well as the parent’s participation in
ƒ Supervise and assist children at home with organizations that reflect the community’s
homework assignments and school-related collaborative aspirations for all children.
activities.
ƒ Initiate conversations and activities to support National PTA Board of Directors, 1990

and extend learning related to children’s

schoolwork.
ƒ Communicate with teachers to exchange ideas and information about ways to best support
children’s learning.

Decision-making
Schools and communities provide parents with opportunities to:
ƒ Assume decision-making roles in the PTA/PTO, advisory councils, committees, and other parent
organizations.
ƒ Taking advocacy or decision-making roles at the district and state levels.
ƒ Participate in advocacy groups or evaluation teams that work for school improvement.

Collaborating with the Community

Schools establish partnerships that are mutually
beneficial for children, families, communities, and
schools when they:
ƒ Coordinate access to resources and services
for all families, children, and the school with
businesses, agencies, and other groups, such
as health care, cultural events, tutoring or
mentoring services, before-and-after school
programs.
ƒ Provide services to the community, such as
recycling, food pantries, access to school
libraries and computers.
Using the work of Epstein and others allows families and schools to build upon a variety of options
for parent involvement. The school welcomes participation at whatever levels families choose.
Schools are encouraged to build upon the strengths of families and support the efforts of parents to
become more involved in their children’s learning.

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Family-school interactions must be well-planned, and, at the same time, consist of both planned and
spontaneous opportunities. A true family-school partnership is ongoing, purposeful, and reflects the
vision shared by families and schools for children.

Home and school are of primary importance in the lives of children. Each provides unique and
essential support for children’s learning. Combining and coordinating the efforts of families and
schools creates a powerful force that results in high quality programs for children.

School Attitudes and Actions that Encourage Parent Involvement

Teachers and other school personnel who work with children in the primary program should:
ƒ Involve parents in setting goals for their ƒ Talk regularly with children and
child’s learning program; parents who encourage them to share information with
have ownership in the planning will their parents.
assume more ownership in the follow- ƒ Communicate regularly with parents about
through. the Primary Program through the children
ƒ Value parents’ opinions, concerns, ideas, and through print materials, phone calls,
and visions. home visits, informal parent gatherings,
ƒ Recognize that parents care very much and parent education workshops.
about their children. ƒ Use problem-solving strategies with
ƒ View parents as key contributors to their parents.
child’s school experiences. Consider ƒ Appreciate and respect family values
parents’ resources and talents when which may be different from their own.
planning day-to-day activities for children. ƒ Refrain from criticism and judgment, both
ƒ Find ways to collect information from publicly and privately, in school facilities
parents that can be used for developing the such as the teachers’ lounge and other
child’s learning program. For example, settings.
home visits, interviews, phone calls, and ƒ Maintain a warm, friendly, open, and
contributions to the child’s portfolio. responsive school climate that encourages
ƒ Share information about how children parents to spend time at school.
learn and child development as it relates to ƒ Provide opportunities for parents to
the classroom setting. interact with other parents and school
ƒ Involve parents actively in parent-teacher personnel. For example, family rooms,
conferences. For example, joint parent discussion, and support groups.
conference planning, pre-conference
phone calls, and interviews.

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Parents are encouraged to:
ƒ Advocate for their child’s needs by ƒ Support their child’s growth and learning
becoming involved in their child’s in all five goal areas: aesthetic and artistic
learning. development, intellectual development,
ƒ Model and demonstrate enthusiasm for physical development and well-being, and
learning. development of responsibility.
ƒ Create an environment supportive of ƒ Become knowledgeable about the Primary
learning. Program.
ƒ Take an active role in communicating ƒ Take part in classroom activities and
information that may benefit their child’s support other school events.
learning at school. ƒ Support their child’s growing
ƒ Take advantage of daily learning independence and decision-making skills.
opportunities with their children, reading, ƒ Advocate for policies which guarantee
parent-child conversations, and family quality experiences for their children.
outings.

Sharing Information about the Child

Informal Conversations
Conversations which parents, teachers, and children have on an informal basis are among the most
natural and successful ways of sharing information. They provide opportunities to:
ƒ Share current information about the child and upcoming activities
ƒ Share personal anecdotes and insights
ƒ Give reassurance about the child’s efforts and development

Informal Notes and Messages

Written informal communications can include:
ƒ Personal notes
ƒ Home-school communication books
ƒ Classroom news bulletins
ƒ E-mail correspondence

Telephone Calls
Parents and teachers may call one another to:
ƒ Keep in touch
ƒ Share news of importance to the child
ƒ Plan how to support some aspect of the child’s
learning
ƒ Establish a partnership role

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Individual Conferences
Conferences are an opportunity for:
ƒ Parents to share information and insights about their child’s development and interests at home
ƒ Teachers to share information and insights about the child’s development and interests at school
ƒ Setting goals for the child’s learning
ƒ Making plans to support the child’s learning

Some teachers encourage children to take part in conferences as a way of helping them understand
their learning and to become more responsible for their own progress. Each school and teacher sets
the schedule for individual conferences, and parents can request a meeting any time.

Collections of Work
Establishing collection systems to store information about what a child can do provides a basis for
ongoing assessment and evaluation. Consider:
ƒ Dated samples of drawings and writing
ƒ Copies of reports and projects
ƒ Photographs
ƒ Audio and video tapes
ƒ Computer disks
ƒ Student self-assessments

Anecdotal Reports
The anecdotal progress report describes the child’s development in relation to the goals of the
Primary Program. It is intended to provide information about the child’s individual progress. It may
precede or follow a parent-teacher conference. Anecdotal reports give information about:
ƒ Accomplishments (what a child can do)
ƒ Attitudes and interests
ƒ Learning needs
ƒ Future learning goals and plans for support

Sharing Information about the School and Classroom

Newsletters
Newsletters are one way schools establish ongoing communication and can solicit parent reaction
and input as well as provide information about:
ƒ School and classroom activities
ƒ Upcoming events and activities at school and in the community
ƒ Student success stories
ƒ Samples of student work

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Parent Evenings and Open Houses
Parent evenings are a time to get a sense of the school and classroom atmosphere. This can be a time
for parents to:
ƒ Learn about the goals the school has for all children
ƒ Find out what children are learning as well how they represent learning
ƒ Look at their child’s work

Informal Visits
Although the school is the usual place for parents and teachers to exchange information, some
teachers plan informal get-togethers in other settings such as:
ƒ Classroom outings (picnics, walks)
ƒ Homes
ƒ Community facilities

Classroom Study
Many teachers provide parents with information about what has been and what will be the focus of
classroom learning experiences. These provide information about:
ƒ Themes to be explored
ƒ Classroom projects
ƒ Special activities
ƒ Curriculum plans
ƒ Field trips
ƒ Web sites

Classroom Visits
Classroom visits can be arranged through the teacher to provide:
ƒ Children with a chance to see their parents and teachers cooperating
ƒ Opportunities to talk
ƒ Parents with first-hand opportunities to observe their child in the school setting

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Families as Advocates and Policy-makers
Families, teachers, administrators, and other school staff benefit from working together to solve
problems, exchange views, influence other decision-makers, and advocate for children. Parents who,
individually or in groups, are willing to advocate for their own children or for other children are true
friends of the school, not adversaries. Individuals who are willing to be involved need a variety of
options for their involvement, training, support, and encouragement. Not all parents wish to be
involved in the same role or same degree at all times. Because of the large number of working
parents and other changing family demographics, schools need to explore new and creative ways to
work together. This partnership needs to be forged through effective and frequent communication.
Opportunities for supporting families as advocates, decision-makers, and policy-makers include:

ƒ Establishing a dedicated phone line for ƒ Conferring with families on the choice of
families to deal with emergencies, rumors, classroom settings and/or teachers
and sensitive issues ƒ Publishing a handbook for families that
ƒ Encouraging all teachers to communicate covers current policies on discipline,
frequently with families about curriculum absences, dress standards, and parent and
plans, expectations for homework, grading student rights
policies, and how families can help ƒ Obtaining family input when developing
ƒ Directing families’ concerns, questions, new policies or programs
and complaints to appropriate staff ƒ Scheduling regular parent-teacher
ƒ Informing families of their rights organization meetings
regarding access to school records, due ƒ Encouraging families to approach the
process in disciplinary actions, and principal on their own initiative to
participation in special education decisions question school policies or procedures,
ƒ Setting up teacher-parent conferences aside from situations that affect only their
upon request child
ƒ Providing in-service training or other ƒ Informing and enlisting the help of
opportunities to help teachers families immediately when problems
communicate and collaborate with occur at school which involve community
families concerns
ƒ Notifying families promptly if their ƒ Establishing procedures for dealing with
children have academic difficulties or sensitive issues
behavior problems ƒ Giving families representation on
ƒ Notifying families immediately if their committees for curriculum development,
children do not arrive at school and if school accreditation, assessment
unexcused absences are becoming a procedures, and other topics
pattern

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Developing Community Involvement in School-Family-Community
Partnerships
(This section is reprinted with verbal permission from Decker, Larry E. & Associates. (1990). Community Education: Building Learning Communities,
pp. 4–8. National Community Education Association, Alexandria, VA.)

Community Involvement
People develop commitments to causes, organizations, and activities for which they have had some
responsibility. An undisputed finding of educational research is that the active engagement of the
learner and the involvement of families and the community enhance learning.

In communities across the nation, broad-based community involvement has resulted in increased
academic achievement, improved school climate, and more effective communities.

Community Education Goals

In the community education model, the school functions as a support center for the network of
agencies and institutions committed to meeting community needs and expanding learning
opportunities for all members of the community. Using schools as community centers is a cost-
effective, practical way to use one of the community’s largest investments, its school buildings.

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Partnerships with Families and Communities
By providing diverse educational services, community education helps meet the varied learning
needs of community residents. Class instruction in a variety of skills helps meet the needs of
business and industry. Child care services for preschool and school-age children help parents who
cannot afford or lack access to private services.

Programs that respond to the needs of adults who wish to gain new skills, improve existing skills, or
who just like to keep on learning help a community become a learning community. By tapping the
abundant expertise that exists in any community, community education helps bring the concept of
“everyone learns, everyone teaches” closer to reality.

Through interagency cooperation and public-private partnerships, communities reduce duplication

of effort, and overall effectiveness is improved through teamwork. Businesses and private agencies
provide services not affordable in the usual tax-supported budget.

In return, schools, in cooperation with other community agencies, address such community problems
as illiteracy and substance abuse, which adversely affect the community’s business environment and
quality of life.

Through community improvement efforts, many

members of the community can be engaged in litter
control, recycling, beautification, and improved
education and recreation services. Each community
improvement effort can make the community more
attractive to both current and prospective residents and
businesses

Through citizen involvement, the process of community

problem-solving is restored to its rightful place: to those
people closest to the problem, who understand it best.

When a broad range of community resources is used

for learning, the role of the total community in the
process of educating the citizenry is acknowledged.
Young people learn from and with community elders.
Our schools become places where learning and living meet.

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Principles of Community Education
Community education provides local residents and community agencies and institutions the
opportunity to become active partners in addressing community concerns. It is based on the
following principles:
ƒ Self-Determination
Local people are in the best position to identify community needs and wants. Parents, as
children’s first and most important teachers, have both a right and a responsibility to be involved
in their children’s education.
ƒ Self-Help
People are best served when their capacity to help themselves is encouraged and enhanced.
When people assume ever-increasing responsibility for their own well-being, they acquire
independence rather than dependence.
ƒ Leadership Development
The identification, development, and use of the leadership capacities of local citizens are
prerequisites for ongoing self-help and community improvement efforts.
ƒ Localization
Services, programs, events, and other opportunities for community participation have the greatest
potential for participation when brought closest to where people live. Whenever possible, these
activities should be decentralized to locations of easy public access.
ƒ Integrated Delivery of Services
Organizations and agencies that operate for the public good can use their limited resources, meet
their individual goals, and better serve the public by establishing close working relationships
with other organizations and agencies with related purposes.
ƒ Maximum Use of Resources
The physical, financial, and human resources of every community should be interconnected and
used to their fullest if the diverse needs and interests of the community are to be met.
ƒ Inclusiveness
The segregation or isolation of people by age, income, sex, race, ethnicity, religion, or other
factors inhibits the full development of the community. Community programs, activities, and
services should involve the broadest possible cross-section of community residents.
ƒ Responsiveness
Public institutions have a responsibility to develop programs and services that respond to the
continually changing needs and interests of their constituents.
ƒ Lifelong Learning
Learning begins at birth and continues until death. Opportunities for formal and informal
learning should be available to residents of all ages across a wide variety of community settings.

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Results of Community Education
Communities that formally adopt community education as a way of community life have the tools to
attack many difficult problems. These communities exhibit the following characteristics:
ƒ Someone has an official leadership role in coordinating the various community and school
efforts.
ƒ Volunteers help deliver community services.
ƒ Businesses work in partnership with schools to improve student learning as well as to expand
economic development.
ƒ Agencies and institutions cooperate to deliver improved services to the total community.
ƒ Public school facilities are used by community members of all ages.
ƒ Parents are involved in their children’s learning and in school governance.
ƒ Community resources are used to enhance and enrich the school’s curriculum.
ƒ Educational alternatives are available for students with special problems and special talents.
ƒ Opportunities for lifelong learning are available for learners of all ages, backgrounds, and needs.
ƒ Large numbers of citizens are participating actively to help solve community problems.

When these characteristics are observed, positive results

are not far behind. These results may include:
ƒ Schools and other community agencies are more
responsive to parents and other community members.
ƒ An improved learning climate and increased student
achievement are evident in schools.
ƒ Broad-based community support exists for schools
and for other community agencies.
ƒ The community works together to try to solve its
problems.

As America strives to improve its schools, it’s imperative that

all elements of the community work together to assist
students and educators. Quality education is an investment in
the community; but everyone—parents, business leaders,
church leaders and others-have a role to play. Helping
students learn is a community affair.
Lew Armistead, President,
National School Public Relations Association

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Resource Materials for Communicating with Parents
The following materials can be used when communicating with parents about children’s learning
and development. As teachers develop materials, presentations, and conferences, they can use this
information as a guide while personalizing their messages to parents and children. Information
might be developed into a series of newsletters, workshops, or incorporated into existing formats.
Whatever the setting, it is best to use the information in a meaningful way taking care not to
overwhelm parents. Teachers must first know their children and families, then work with them to
identify their informational needs. In this way, teachers and schools respect the prior knowledge of
parents and their decision-making abilities.

Supporting Learning at Home: Ideas for Parents

The section on Widely-Held Expectations provides a summary of children’s development over time
in the five goal areas. In schools, teachers use these Widely-Held Expectations to assess children’s
development and to plan instruction. At home, parents and others can support and encourage the
child as a developing learner in a number of ways.

Aesthetic and Artistic Development

Keep a variety of art, modeling, and craft materials on hand.
Provide paper of different sizes and colors, including construction
paper, newsprint, gummed paper, wrapping paper, aluminum foil,
and other recycled materials. You might start a collection of
pencils, crayons, felt tip markers, chalk, modeling clay, scissors,
glue, transparent tape, used wrapping paper, pictures from old
greeting cards, sticks from ice cream treats, bits of cloth, yarn,
ribbon, egg cartons, buttons, twist ties, pipe cleaners, and other
materials. Encourage your child to spend time exploring their use.
Ask what he or she enjoyed most and discovered about the
materials.

Encourage your child to accompany musical selections with homemade instruments. If possible,
show your child how to record and listen to music using an audiocassette recorder. Remember, this
music making will be child-like. Encourage your child to explore sounds and rhythms and to tell you
about them and their production.

Attend musical performances, concerts, and recitals with your child. Sing and play selections to be
performed before hand. Ask your child what he or she remembered and enjoyed about the
performance and why.

Use simple comments that show you recognize and appreciate your child’s efforts. For example,
“Your painting reminds me of the fun we had at the beach.”

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For family fun, play pantomimes or charades. One person acts out an action while the others guess
what is being done. For very young children, use familiar actions such as eating an ice cream cone or
raking leaves. Older children might enjoy more complex miming reflecting the senses, thoughts, or
feelings.

Provide an assortment of old clothes, accessories, and other props for your child to play “dress up”
and act our various roles. Also, keep assorted fabrics and ribbons of different colors and textures for
your child to use with dance.

A radio or tape recorder your child can use independently may provide music. Use an assortment of
music types to broaden your child’s listening experience (nursery rhymes, children’s songs, marches,
tangos, jazz, popular, classical, religious).

Puppet making is suitable for most levels of development and can be simple (stick, paper bag, or
paper plate puppets) or complex (sewn puppets or marionettes).

Encourage your child’s thinking by asking questions and helping to seek answers. Always encourage
your child to ask questions. When there is no clear answer, say things such as “What do you think?”
and “Where can we go to find the answer?”

When going for a walk or drive, encourage your child’s observation skills by commenting on and
asking about the larger environment (sky, mountains, forest, water) as well as the smaller, more
intricate environment (leaves, flowers, grasses, bugs, pebbles).

Social and Emotional Development

Read and discuss books about friendships. Talk with your child about
friends. Ask questions such as “What do you think a friend is?” and
“What do you like about having a friend?” Other questions might
include “How do you think friends act with each other?” and “What
can you do to meet a new friend?”

Even if it is not done perfectly or takes a little longer, encourage your

child to perform daily tasks such as getting dressed, making a simple
breakfast, or setting the table. It is important for your child to feel
successful in participating in family routines.

Provide opportunities for your children to make personal decisions about clothing choices, healthy
snacks, family menus, story times, and other matters.

Participation in volunteer activities such as community, recreation, or hospital functions helps your
child recognize the kinds of contributions that can be made. Seeing themselves as helpers can
contribute to children’s self-confidence.

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Give positive reinforcement for your child’s dreams and goals, regardless of how impossible they
might seem. Say, for example, “Those are fascinating ideas. I can see you thought this out yourself.”

Help your child create a “me” poster or collage using drawings, photographs, and magazine pictures.
Help your child decide where to display the poster and comment on your child’s special qualities.

Children may enjoy writing to a pen pal from another country as a way of developing a new
friendship.

Your child also may enjoy some form of organized activity that provides opportunities to meet
others. Ask your child to talk about personal preferences and then support your child’s decisions
about such activities as dancing, art or music lessons, organized sports, and boys’ or girls’ clubs.
Discuss how these decisions will affect your child, you, and other family members in terms of time
for friends and hobbies, providing rides, changing meal times, and any other pertinent points.
Provide gentle guidance in terms of what you already know about your child’s regular activities.

Sharing special times is crucial in the development of your child’s self-image. Being hugged and
held by a parent, settling in comfortably with a favorite story, walking to the park, working together
to complete a task, and sharing thoughts and feelings are all important activities which contribute to
your child’s development.

Set reasonable limits and maintain stable routines your child can anticipate. For example, meal
times, family commitments, reading stories, television viewing, and bed times.

It is not always easy to maintain a positive approach or to avoid focusing attention on non-
productive behavior. However, with an informed and honest approach, you are showing your child
how to deal effectively with issues or problems as they arise. For example, “Paul is playing with the
shovel now. Let’s see what else you can find to play with until it’s your turn.” Communicate with
your child about the behavior you expect. For example, “Let’s paint on the newspapers so there
won’t be spills on the floor.”

Intellectual Development
When you read to your child on a regular basis, you also model that
reading is important in your life. If you build up and maintain a
home “library” that contains books of interest to all family members,
your child will have access to a wide variety of reading materials.
You also might want to visit the public library on a regular basis.
Young children like books with large print and many illustrations,
and often like to hear stories again and again. It is important to read
to your children from books you yourself consider to be important.
Continue reading to your children once they learn to read
independently!

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During regular family activities, provide opportunities for your child to organize, classify, and use
easily remembered information. For example, when unpacking groceries, ask your child to put all
the fruits, canned goods, and frozen items together. When doing the laundry, ask your child to help
sort clothing into whites and colors, work and play clothes, or into other interesting categories. You
can also suggest sorting kitchen cutlery, school supplies, coins, tools, shoes, and other objects.

If possible, provide a plain calendar with large squares to write messages. Discuss special days and
record comments to help your child remember appointments, special events, and other important
dates and activities.

Make sure your child’s day is not planned out entirely. Free play is important. Provide time, space,
and materials for your child to create personal projects.

Help your child become aware of what he or she is doing through language by putting words to
actions. For example, talk through the process of tying shoelaces. Use appropriate language, but play
word games such as rhyming and synonyms. Playing with language is not “baby talk.” This is how
children learn.

Provide opportunities for your child to gain a variety of experiences. The more experiences they
have, the more personal knowledge they gain. “Memorized” knowledge may be soon forgotten, but
outings such as walks, car trips, special family events, sporting events, camping trips, picnics and
visits to the beach, library, museum and fair all provide experiences that enable children to make
connections and see how ideas and events relate to one another.

Provide encouragement for activities, for when your child says, “Let me try!” or “Can I do that?”
Always ensure your child’s health and safety first.

Encourage your child to talk about personal experiences by asking questions such as: “What do you
like about this?” “What did you not like about this?” “Would you recommend this to a friend?”
“What do you think would happen if…?”

Physical Development and Well-Being

Encourage your child to attempt new and interesting activities.
Provide encouragement and support, but if the activity poses a real
safety hazard, explain this to your child.

Play games or sing songs that help your child to identify body parts
(head, shoulders, knees, and toes).

Expect your child to move from one activity to another. It is normal

for children to find it difficult to sit still or to stay with one activity.

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If you become involved in games with your child and your child’s friends, avoid elimination games
where someone is “out.” Suggest games that include all players and do not focus on scores and
winning.

Children like to have life-size outlines of their bodies traced on paper. Encourage and help your
child to draw eyes, nose, mouth, clothing, and to locate and name body parts.

Ask your child to share ideas about safety rules when playing a game or using equipment.

Your child may enjoy being part of a team or group. Encourage a team or group activity that helps
your child remain active into adolescence. If you are involved in organized team sports, model the
kind of behavior you would like your child to exhibit.

Provide access to different kinds of music during playtime. This can add enthusiasm to your child’s
movements or soothe or relax after strenuous play.

If possible, make an at-home obstacle course with your child to provide opportunities for crawling,
jumping, running, and hopping.

Maintaining a balance between free exploration and excessive risk taking is not easy. When
experimenting with a new activity such as learning to ride a bike, try not to over-use phrases such as,
“Be careful!” or “You might get hurt!” Do provide background for the activity in terms of the safety
rules and how to use equipment.

Demonstrate and discuss your ideas about safety procedures in everyday life (crossing the street).

Demonstrate and discuss your ideas about nutrition (eating a balanced meal).

Development of Responsibility
When arguments occur between your children or their friends,
help them become their own problem-solvers. Ask questions such
as, “What do you think the problem is?” or “What are some ways
you can think of to solve this?”

Share newspaper and magazine articles with your child. Find

articles that tell of events affecting children and families in other
places. Follow what happens. Ask questions such as: “How do
you think they feel?” “What would you do if you were in this
situation?” “Do you think they need some help?” “Who could
provide that kind of help?” “Is there something we can do about this?”

Your child may enjoy participating with you in a community group.

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Keep a family photo album for your child and you to look at and talk about. Talk about your child’s
heritage. Attend cultural and ethnic celebrations and festivals to introduce your child to the heritage
of others. Talk about the similarities and differences.

Your child may enjoy writing to a pen pal from another country as a way of developing a new
friendship and knowledge of another culture.

Encourage family members to show appreciation for one another by extending courtesies such as
sending notes. Very young children can dictate the notes which then can be placed in lunches, on the
refrigerator, or passed out at supper-time.

Talk about how stress can lead to conflict. Discuss ways in which your child can handle conflicts,
problems, fights, and arguments.

Take your children on nature walks. Encourage them to use their senses (seeing, listening, smelling,
touching, and tasting, if appropriate).

Encourage your child and your family to examine your own practices that affect the world around
you.

Talk to your child about what to do in emergency situations. Rehearse these situations from losing
mittens to calling the police.

Talk about how each family member contributes to the well-being of others in the family, in the
community, and in other groupings.

The consequences of family decisions affect everyone. Give your child opportunities to make
choices.

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