Anders 1

Cassie Anders

English 1201

Dr. Cassel

16 July 2021

How Does Social Media Affect Relationships?

Is your relationship failing because of social media? Social media is something new that

ancestors did not have to deal with, and it has become a big part of society. People are using

social media to use to connect with others and even pursue new relationships, including romantic

ones. With new technology and new inventions, such as social media, comes new challenges.

With these new changes, have you ever wondered if social media has caused issues within your

relationship? Social media has the tendency to cause problems within relationships because of

the easy access to others, thus causing jealousy, flirting and trust issues.

Social Media has been around since the late 1900’s. According to Drew Hendricks, Six

Degrees was the first social media site to be nationally recognized in 1997. This site allowed

users to connect with one another and look at each other’s profiles (Hendricks). Social media

today has adopted the idea of people having profiles and making friends. Popular social media

platforms today include Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram. These platforms allow people to

create their own profiles by uploading pictures and giving out personal information like where

a person works, birthdays, friends, and relationship status. These platforms make it easy to

add friends and even notify users of someone they might know by using their friends list and

giving them a suggestion to add a mutual friend.

This image shows two people arguing and demonstrates how Facebook is the cause. You can

see the frustration on each of their faces and the women is holding her hands up out of

frustration as well. The heart is representing the relationship between the two people and

includes a specific social media site, Facebook. The heart split in half is showing how the

relationship is falling apart due to everything each person is seeing on Facebook (Tan).

While social media can make it easy to create new friends it also comes with safety

issues and can lead to harassment. Social media includes pictures, but that picture may not be

the person that is behind the screen. Some people use social media to seek out new romantic

relationships. This leads to safety issues, as not everyone is honest about who they truly are.

Trust is a big part of a relationship, and some people can be too trusting on social media. A

47-year-old named Mateo was interviewed about the use of social media. Mateo states that

when he went on a date with someone he had met through social media, she turned out to be

10 years younger. He stated that he was upset when he went on the date (Miguel). Social
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media makes it easy to stretch the truth and lie about their identities. It is shown that trusting

people on social media without meeting them can be a bad step.

Another issue with social media being accessible, is that it is easy to flirt with others even

when in a relationship. Stolz explained that her past relationship was rocky because of social

media. She also stated in a personal story, her ex commented on a status that one of her exes

posted. It was done in a flirtatious manner and Stolz decided to accept a friend request from one

of her exes to get back at her (Stolz). Social media makes it easy to react to relationship conflict

in a manner like this example. Instances like this cause trust issues in relationships.

However, if there is a breach in trust, a study shows that does not influence the

termination of the relationship. In a study conducted by Shelby Hughes, it is stated that, even

though significant others want to maintain a good self-presentation, they do not allow other

online perceptions to manipulate their decisions when it comes to their partners losing their trust.

(Hughes et al.). It is common for people to show the happy parts of a relationship on social

media, but when trust is broken it does not mean people will stay with their significant others.

This just shows that social media does not cause people to stay in unhealthy relationships and if

social media causes trust issues it will end up causing breakups.

Furthermore, social media takes away from in person connections and relationships. It is

stated that when adolescents develop a game and social media addiction, then family interaction

is affected negatively. This will ultimately cause problems within the family to increase and

family connections to decrease (Yayman and Okan). Some people focus too much on

connections online verse living in the moment and connecting with people in the present time. A

study done by Miguel demonstrated that participants found it was easier to communicate their

thoughts and feelings through social media compared to a conversation in person. People were
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able to avoid the conversation in person (Miguel). This can be a reason why people put their time

into social media verse in person interactions. A statistic is shared through the website healthline,

data pulled from GlobalWebIndex showed people were spending more time on social media

during 2017 than 2012. There was an increase of about a half an hour more during the day on

average between the different years (Chesak). This just shows that in person interactions are

going to decrease and more time will be invested into the social media relationships.

Additionally, the article written by Jennifer Chesak says that people have a natural

capacity for friendships. To maintain relationships this requires interacting with the person and

we only have so much time in a day. Some people decide to put the time into social media and

focusing on the connections made through the relationships online. A quote cited in the article by

Jennifer Chesak, “Social media advertises itself as increasing our connections to each other, but

several studies show that people who spend more time on social media are actually more lonely,

not less” (Chesak, Jennifer). Part of this could be connected to people not interacting with each

other in person and coming together for gatherings. Some people chose to stay home and

communicate with those online or focus on posting new material.

A percentage of relationships like social media to show how much they care about their

significant others. In an article it was stated, “47% say social media offers a place for them to

show how much they care about their significant other, with 12% feeling this way “a lot”; 45%

do not feel that social media offers a venue for this type of interaction with their significant

other” (Lenhart et al.). That is over half the participants that feel it shows how much they care.

There are several people who like to post pictures or videos with their significant other. This

could be related to people trying to show how much they care for their significant other. A good
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example of this is from an interview with Cory Kellum. In the interview Cory says, social media

was not good for his past relationship because it led to discussion of not posting enough to show

off the significant other (Kellum, Cory). Not posting enough of the significant other could lead to

arguments and hurt feeling depending on if social media is a big part of the relationship.

Kim Stolz discusses her relationship issues that were caused by social media. Originally,

she said things started by flirtatious comments to each other then they ended up dating. When

they began dating things started to stir up and problems occurred with social media. Kim Stolz

states, “I knew Maggie was going through the same thing, because every time she saw something

she found suspicious, she would text me demanding answers. Texting led to fighting which led

to making up which led to getting back together which led to texting which led to splitting up

again” (Stolz).

Furthermore, Kim discusses how social media makes it easier to flirt with others and

possibly cheat. Kim states, she noticed Maggie making flirtatious comments on another

coworkers profile (Stolz). She later found out that they were hanging out and Maggie, the girl

she was dating, was lying about it. This is a common thing and even liking an ex’s picture comes

across to them as a way of being flirtatious or it entertains the idea of being with the other

person. A simple like is not so simple. To some people this can mean multiple things. It could

simply mean “I think you are cute”.

Another thing to consider is what the friends online can see. Friends and people who are

not friends with you on social media can see what is liked and comments made, depending on the

privacy settings. A recent article states, “in a Vanity Fair article about the end of the social media

era, Nick Bilton wrote: “Years ago, a Facebook executive told me that the biggest reason people

unfriend each other is because they disagree on an issue” (Chesak). While it is good to be able to
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express opinions, social media makes it too easy to argue and respond quickly. It was

recommended to take time do research on a topic and to read the article twice. This will help

make educated responses online (Chesak). Although, some people just choose not to do this

especially when feelings are involved. Additionally, it is easy to see if someone likes something

that is not professional or appropriate and this can affect relationships with people a person is

friends with offline.

Additionally, it is easy to share different beliefs and opinions on social media. According

to a recent study a 43-year-old participant who was based from Spain never put in the

information section of her profile what her political beliefs were. Although, she posted a picture

on Facebook with the independence Catalonian flag (Miguel). There are several ways that people

can express their beliefs and values, and this includes pictures and commenting on posts. The

negative thing about social media and strong beliefs is things are easily shared that are not

factual. People can share these things that are not facts but support their opinions. People can

become extremely aggressive through comments and posts. This can lead to relationships with

friends to become rocky if beliefs are not respected.

Another thing to consider is people can see what is liked and this can be linked to

jealousy. Some people in relationships like other people’s posts and pictures which leads to the

significant other being suspicious. In a study about Facebook use and relationships it was shown

“…that this effect may be the result of a feedback loop whereby using Facebook exposes people

to often ambiguous information about their partner that they may not otherwise have access to,

and that this new information incites further Facebook use” (Muise et al.). This basically states

that if social media were not around there would not be as much suspicion. Some likes and
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comments may not mean anything the other person but could mean something to the significant

other.

High social media use negatively impacts relationships. In a study done by Lee et al,

shows that intimacy and satisfaction was decreased with high online disclosure and that higher

offline disclosure leads to increased satisfaction and intimacy (Lee et al.). This is not what some

people would expect, but social media use takes away from being in the moment with the

partner. Some people find that it is easier to open when they realize the person is paying

attention.

To continue this finding, “The more we become hooked on the dopamine rush of social

media, Page says, the less engaged or excited we will feel for the quieter, simpler moments of

life. But those are often the moments when our loved one reveals something personal and

intimate, he explains” (12 ways social media affects relationships, from research and experts). If

a person is not as engaged while being with their significant other this could lead to less

connection. As Page said previously it is likely a person will reveal something personal, which

will lead to the other person getting to know the other better.

Unrealistic relationship expectations are created with social media use. According to the

Amanda J Sankey, social media gives the idea of what a perfect relationship is. This includes

telling people that a perfect relationship is buying things and always sending good morning texts.

Amanda says to focus on the person and not how many times they are texting you. That does not

give a person the right answer to if it is a good relationship. She also states not to be worried

even when the person is not giving the significant other a lot of attention. Social media gives the

perception that the significant other should be giving the other person all the attention, but like
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Amanda says, this is not necessarily a healthy relationship. It is important to see that the person

is not reliant on the other (Sankey).

Furthermore, a user’s relationship is easily shared and announced with the use of social

media. The problem is most people do not share the hard times in a relationship. Most people

just share their vacations, luxurious dates, or posting a picture of their significant other and

commenting something sweet along with the post. This also gives people who are dating an

unrealistic expectation that relationships are supposed to be perfect and that their significant

other should be commenting and posting sweet things to show their appreciation for one another.

Social media gives people the idea of what a perfect relationship is like and what to expect. This

is going to lead to a lot of disappointment.

Social media increases fighting. The fighting could be linked to jealousy or unrealistic

expectations. In a recent article a study was shared that in 2013 couples who were together for

not more than 3 years, were spending more and more time on Facebook, thus creating conflict

within the relationship (12 ways social media affects relationships, from research and experts).

Mayurakshi Ghosal created a presentation to share what she has found out about social

media and its effects on relationships. She discusses her personal experiences with it and starts

the presentation off by talking about her trip to India. She states that it was great not having

access to social media because she was able to have quality time with her family. Although, she

says she lost her snapchat streaks with friends. Snapchat streaks are when people send pictures to

one another to get a symbol to represent their streak and how many days they have snapchatted

back and forth. Mayurakshi mentions how the pictures sometimes are not even meaningful.

Sometimes people just send a black screen with the message saying “streaks” (The Effects of

Social Media on Relationships). This is a great demonstration on how social media does not
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always mean you are staying more connected with people. There is not a meaningful

conversation, and this certainly is not people connecting at a deeper level.

Mayurakshi also discusses the social media platform Instagram. Instagram makes it easy

to post videos and photos. She discusses how hours are spent picking out photos. (The Effects of

Social Media on Relationships). Also, some people spend hours editing pictures and going

through them just to post the perfect picture. This is another thing taking away from people being

in the moment with people. Some people are spending more time on social media posts then

furthering their connections with the people who are right there with them. Social

Media furthers connection with friends, but also creates new connections. In a recent study

conducted by Christina, it is found that when people move to new locations, it is easier to find

new friends and partners by using social media to connect with one another (Miguel). Social

Media encourages new relationships by making it known of who is in the area. Also, several

people feel an emotional connection with people on social media and when connecting with their

significant others. A study conducted by PEW Research Center on teens and their use of social

media users states, more than 50% of teens feel more attached and connected with their

significant others when they know what is going on in their life. At least 15% of those teens

states they feel a lot more connected with their significant other while using social media

(Lenhart et al.).

While meeting new people and creating new connections can seem great, there are

challenges that have been listed above when it comes to relationships. Not everyone will be

honest about who they are on social media. Additionally, social media makes people jealous, and

this leads to arguments. When trust is broken, people break up. Social media has been shown to

cause trust issues by making it available for people to see the actions of their significant other.
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Furthermore, connecting with people in person is harder when someone is invested into social

media. Social media is supposed to help people feel connected but instead, it is distancing people

from the people who are there to connect face to face.

Social media has many negative affects when it comes to relationships causing jealousy,

breakups, arguments, and disconnection between one another. When the jealousy, arguments,

and the disconnection start, this is usually brought on because someone within the relationship

has been focusing on how social media should influence that relationship. Along with that, those

who focus their relationship on social media, tend to conform to societies view on how their

relationship should be molded. Many do not realize their relationship has been molded by the

views of society, until it is too late. It is always after the fact when the realization hits. People

change to conform to society, rather than focusing on being their genuine self.
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Works Cited

Amy Muise, Emily Christofides, and Serge Desmarais.CyberPsychology & Behavior.Aug

2009.441-444.http://doi.org/10.1089/cpb.2008.0263

Chesak, Jennifer. Healthline. 6 May 2021, https://www.healthline.com/health/how-social-media-

is-ruining-relationships. Accessed 5 July 2021.

“The Effects of Social Media on Relationships.” Youtube, uploaded by TEDx Talks, 29 January

2019, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYl4BdBabl4

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pp. 1041–1057. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1007/s12119-020-09808-3.

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relationships/. Accessed 5 July 2021.

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https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ec/e7/d9/ece7d99518e1103920fb5b9af9661a4c.jpg .

Accessed 22 July 2021.

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