Jeannie Out of The Bottle by Barbara Eden - Excerpt
Jeannie Out of The Bottle by Barbara Eden - Excerpt
Jeannie Out of The Bottle by Barbara Eden - Excerpt
ISBN 978-0-307-88694-1
eISBN 978-0-307-88695-8
1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2
First Edition
It’s the end of the first day filming the I Dream of Jeannie pilot, “The
Lady in the Bottle,” and three of us—the series’s creator, writer, and
producer, Sidney Sheldon; Larry Hagman, who plays Captain An-
thony Nelson; and I—are in the company limo speeding the thirty
miles from Malibu back to Hollywood after a long day on location
at Zuma Beach, the scene of Captain Nelson’s first meeting with
Jeannie.
Still in my flimsy pink chiffon harem-style pantaloons and mi-
nuscule velvet bolero, I shiver from head to foot, snuggle into my
brown cloth coat, and wish I’d been allowed to keep my full-length
mink from my days as Loco in the TV series How to Marry a
Millionaire.
How to Marry a Millionaire ran for two years, but— although
I’m happy to be playing Jeannie, and thrilled that my first day went
so well— I’m not counting on the I Dream of Jeannie pilot being
sold at all. But it’s a job, and I’m glad to have gotten it, though
I’m still stunned that Sidney Sheldon didn’t cast a tall, willowy,
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But I love and trust my mother, so I dry my tears, try to rise above
my bullying schoolmates, and, by some kind of a miracle, actually
succeed. From that time on, my mother’s early decree to “rise above
it” will become indelibly engraved on my psyche. It will become my
own private mantra, the way I live my life and cope with whatever
fate will throw at me through the years—through all the hungry
years of the late fifties and early sixties when I was a struggling Hol-
lywood contract player, through the bitter weeks of trying to survive
as a chorus girl at Ciro’s supper club, through the hairy moments as
Johnny Carson’s comic sidekick on live TV, through my days on I
Love Lucy doing my utmost to avoid Desi Arnaz’s sexual advances,
through my heart-pounding on-screen cameo with Paul Newman,
and through my weeks as Elvis Presley’s leading lady, spending hours
drinking in his vulnerable sweetness, only to discover years later that
he secretly had amorous designs on me as well.
My mother’s edict stayed with me through all my years of tan-
gling with Hollywood’s most high-testosterone players: Warren
Beatty, Burl Ives, Tom Jones, Tony Randall, Tony Curtis, O. J. Simp-
son, and more. And through all the lonely years when— on the verge
of a breakdown after my younger son was stillborn— I performed in
Las Vegas, shared George Burns’s dressing room, and smiled through
my tears as best I could.
Most of all, her words echoed in my mind during those five sea-
sons of working with Larry Hagman on I Dream of Jeannie, which
sometimes felt like I was walking on hot coals. But before I tell you
about some of the most challenging moments, I want to make it
crystal clear that I think Larry Hagman is a terrific actor and I’d
work with him again any day, not just because of his talent but be-
cause he is a warm and kind human being.
Let me Jeannie-blink an example for you. We have a guest direc-
tor on the show, whose name I have mercifully blanked out simply
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CAMERAMAN: “Cut!”
DIRECTOR: “Who said cut?”
CAMERAMAN: “I did, sir!”
DIRECTOR: “Why did you say cut? You’re not supposed to
say cut!”
CAMERAMAN: “I said cut because someone walked in front of
the camera, sir.”
DIRECTOR: “Who did that? Who did that? Whoever did that,
they’re fired!”
CAMERAMAN: “But that was you, sir!”
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filming, I run off the set and hide behind a piece of scenery, far re-
moved from all the action. And I stay there, sobbing away as silently
as possible, while my makeup pours down my cheeks and all the
crew and cast run around trying to find me.
Of course, Larry, a clever man in all sorts of ways, is the one
to finally find me in my hiding place. He puts his arms around me
gently and says, “Don’t cry, Barbara. That’s my act!” Bless his heart!
I am simultaneously touched and surprised—touched that Larry is
being so kind to me, and surprised that he is being so honest about
his on-set emotional breakdowns, which sometimes actually did
culminate in him crying in front of all of us.
But I Dream of Jeannie wasn’t just a hotbed of drama and in-
trigue. It was also a comedy, and Larry and I had plenty of fun along
the way as well. A classic Larry story involves the two of us and a
lion named Simm, a veteran of The Addams Family, who appeared
with us in an episode entitled “The Americanization of Jeannie.”
The plot has Jeannie begging Captain Nelson to allow her to
bring her former pet into the house. Not knowing what kind of pet
Jeannie means, he agrees, only to be confronted with a fully grown
male African lion.
Let me Jeannie-blink back to what really happened behind the
scenes. As chance would have it, I’ve worked with lions before on
a couple of Fox movies, and now I consider myself somewhat of a
lion expert. So before we shoot our scene with the lion, I take Larry
aside, advise him to make friends with the lion, and explain how.
“Here’s what you do, Larry. You have to stand very still and let the
lion smell you. Then, when he’s finished doing that, you should lean
forward very, very gingerly and stroke him as gently as you can. That
way, he’ll get to know you and everything will be fine,” I say helpfully.
Larry’s reaction? “Dream on, Barbara. I’m not making friends
with any f—— lion!” He strides back to his dressing room.
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At that moment, the lion trainer leads the lion onto the set.
Larry and I were supposed to sit on the couch, and at a certain point
in the script the lion was meant to stick his big paws over the back
of the couch.
While the scene is being set up and the props put in place, I
go through my routine of bonding with the lion. I let him smell
my fingers and lick my hand, then slowly, very slowly, I stroke him
under his chin. He gives me a sidelong glance and visibly relaxes,
and I silently congratulate myself on our new and warm friendship.
The lion is led away from the couch. After a few minutes, Larry
walks back onto the set and sits down next to me, while the direc-
tor places a piece of raw meat between us. The lion is led right up
to the couch, takes one look at Larry, and lets out an almighty roar.
Whereupon Larry bolts off the set, out of the studio, and into the
street, while the crew runs out after him, terrified. Meanwhile, I
am left alone on the set with a nine-hundred-pound lion in my lap,
purring contentedly.
But back to Larry. As I said before, to this day I love and respect
Larry, both as an actor and as a human being. Nonetheless, I feel
that, in the interests of television history and of accuracy, it’s time
to tell the whole, unvarnished truth about what really happened be-
hind the scenes on I Dream of Jeannie, shocking as some of it is.
Larry himself has made no secret about the fact that he was tak-
ing drugs and drinking too much through many of the I Dream of
Jeannie years and that he has regrets about how that impacted him.
And I, of all people, know that I can’t afford to be judgmental about
the lure of drugs and the dreadful repercussions of taking them.
But this is one of my more startling memories of Larry while
filming I Dream of Jeannie. Jeannie blink: Sally Field is filming The
Flying Nun on the next sound stage, and one morning a group of
elderly nuns pay a visit to the set. Afterward, someone comes up
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with the bright idea of bringing them over to the I Dream of Jeannie
set for a visit as well.
So here they are, about ten of them: sweet, gentle, and demure
in their black-and-white habits, their hands folded, their eyes bright
with anticipation at the thought of visiting another Hollywood set
and meeting all of us. Larry takes one look at the nuns, grabs an axe
(which one of the technicians happens to have in the studio that
day), and swings it around his head so ferociously that he could eas-
ily have killed someone. As he swings it, he lets out a torrent that
includes every single foul swear word I’ve ever heard, and some I
haven’t—right in the stunned nuns’ faces. If that isn’t enough, he
starts hacking at the cables frenetically until someone grabs the axe,
frog-marches Larry off the set, then escorts the shaken nuns out of
the building. It’s hardly surprising that no visitors were ever allowed
on the I Dream of Jeannie set again.
Sally and I were often in makeup at the same time. When I was
rehearsing my Las Vegas nightclub act while I was working on I
Dream of Jeannie, I used to arrive at the makeup department at six
in the morning, with my little tape recorder with a tape of all my
music in it, and learn my songs for my act while the makeup artist
was applying my makeup.
Recently, in an interview, Sally let slip, “The only uncomfortable
thing about doing The Flying Nun was, my God, Barbara Eden sing-
ing all the time in the makeup room at 6 am and never stopping!”
Sorry, Sally! If only I’d known, I’d have practiced in the shower
instead.
But back to Larry. After Sidney Sheldon suggested that Larry
see a therapist and he agreed, the therapist was frequently on the
set during filming of I Dream of Jeannie, in case he was needed. But
even he didn’t seem able to put the brakes on Larry. Consequently,
Larry’s dramatics escalated, and— now that we live in an X-rated
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age— could most likely become the basis of a terrific comedy series
themselves.
In fact, you could devote a whole episode to the time when
Sammy Davis Jr. guested in “The Greatest Entertainer in the World”
and ended up threatening to kill Larry, and another to the time we
filmed “The Second Greatest Con Artist in the World” in Hawaii
with Milton Berle.
But there is one episode that I don’t think would actually
make it onto the air even today: the time when Larry, in frustra-
tion and anger at what he saw as the show’s shortcomings and the
second-string status of his character, Major Tony Nelson, relieved
himself all over the I Dream of Jeannie set.
I’ll be sharing more of Larry’s tantrums in the rest of the book,
no holds barred. But working with Larry was still a walk in the park
in comparison to many other things that happened to me through-
out the years, particularly in my private life— my stillborn son;
two divorces; the death of Matthew, my only child, when he was
thirty-five and on the threshold of marriage; and the loss of my be-
loved mother.
Through it all, my mother’s voice has always echoed in my
mind: Rise above it, Barbara Jean, rise above it! I’ve tried as hard as I
can to do so. Sometimes I’ve triumphed and risen above whatever
life has flung at me, but other times I’ve failed dismally, floundered,
and been utterly swamped. This is the story of all those times, good
and bad, better and worse, exactly how they happened, exactly how
I coped, and exactly how I didn’t.
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