How to Deal with Change

One of the first things one needs to remember upon leaving the gates of prison is that the
World has changed while we have been stuck in the Prison Time Warp. How we deal with
these changes and treat ourselves will make the difference between surviving on the streets or
returning to life behind bars.

Facts:

1. Change is constant- it presents problems for most people and most of us hate it.
2. Change causes fear to arise due to the many unknowns. We are all creatures of habit, we feel
safe and secure in what we know and what is familiar.
3. Most people resist change. This is a natural response which we all tend to experience. When
resistance occurs we need to recognize it for what it is, accept it, deal with the reality it is going
to happen anyway and then give ourselves permission to be ok to change.

Change occurs on a regular basis from birth to death. It is a natural part of life and once we
understand what it is it can be a positive benefit in a person's growth and development.

Phases of Change

a. Denial- First normal reaction when we are told of unexpected changes (defense
mechanism). We approach change thinking if we ignore it long enough it will go away, it
never does.
b. Bargaining and Negotiating- Even if we recognize that change will not go away; we still
feel/believe that things would be better the way they used to be. So, we try real hard to
hang on to some of the "Old ways", "Good old days" not realizing it just won't work.
c. Anger- No matter what we do, in time we have to face that change is here to stay.
When faced with the reality we can't do anything about it we often experience anger.

Activity: Write down an example of unexpected change which you might have experienced in
the past. Be sure to describe the situation and emotions you felt also be sure to include all of
your senses- sight, smell, sound, taste and touch in your description. Try to see if you
recognized any of the Phases of Change that you might have gone through. Did the phases
overlap at any point? Identify what you did well and what didn't work so that you can learn
from this example and hopefully not repeat any poor outcomes when making future decisions
regarding change.
 What to Do?

How do I deal with change, something I hate and end up having a good or healthier
outcome?

1. Accept it – The truth is that change is constant, ongoing and it is here to stay. Think of times
you were successful in dealing with change. What happened? How did you grow to meet
the demands? If you did it before, you can do it again. It all starts with the 1st step-
Acceptance.
2. Communicate – Don't be afraid to talk to others about your feelings. Ask them how they
dealt with change in their life. Talking with others gives you the opportunity to gather
information, ideas, as well as for strategies which might help you better manage your fears,
disappointments, confusion and frustrations.
3. Plan- Managing change starts with your being able to set/establish new goals (develop a
plan to help you adjust). Know where you are and where you want to go. Identify barriers
or obstacles in your way and develop ways to work through said barriers. Be Honest with
your expectations of yourself. Talk to others, get their feedback. Remember to start small
and take small deliberate steps at first. Celebrate the small success often and remember to
keep focused on your desired outcome.

Change can be exciting, invigorating, and a real adventure. For most of us however, it is painful
and anxiety producing. Yet the truth is Change is Constant- it's our everyday companion.

The key to dealing with change is to recognize the feelings we are experiencing and find ways to deal
with said feelings so we can progress and grow.

10 Strategies to help Deal with Change:

1. Step back, take a breath and think about the short-term (immediate) impact of the
change as well as for the long-term impact. (This allows you to be able to develop
strategies to deal with change when we aren't stuck in the intense emotions of the
change idea).
2. Adjust your perspective for the change. Instead of seeing it as a problem focus on the
change as an opportunity for growth- New beginning.
3. Change has so many different perspectives/views/opinions. Decide which ones you will
be able to use and let the others go.
4. Keep focused on your long-term goal. Set short term marks which will lead you towards
the long-term vision. ( 1 day; 1 week; first month; first year, etc) Recognize you might
have to develop several back-up plans in case your first one doesn't work.
 5. Be open to learning, and asking for help. Realize you might have to start from the
beginning yet again and build from there. Pride or being rigid are ingredients for failure.
Setting your level of expectations at a lower mark in the beginning might be essential
until you find yourself on track to obtain parts of your bigger picture.
6. Change causes stress. Ask yourself the following: What can I control? What am I able to
influence? and What do I have to accept about this situation?
7. Focus on the present moment. (Past is to learn from, the future is what you are striving
to achieve). Remember: One day at a time, Baby steps.
8. Trust yourself. Believe in your abilities to overcome. Develop a positive support system
of people who have the skills, knowledge, wisdom, and experiences to help guide you in
the areas you are the weakest.
9. Improve your ability to work through/respond to change. Be Flexible; seek new
solutions or opportunities for growth every day.
10. Be open to Self-change. "How can I grow from this change opportunity?"

Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different
outcome.

Don't fall into your old patterns of thinking and acting or you will find yourself
back in the same old environment and having the same old consequences.

Best of luck on your new adventure!!!